Free markets, free people, free papers

October 19th, 2007 · 217 comments

Another doozy of an apartment manager note from Oakland, California! Our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one.

if only they had consulted m-w.com

related: love, apt. 3

FILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · guilt trip · landlords and property managers · neighbors · newspaper · Oakland · obnoxious definition · stealing


217 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Troy McClure bang

    Rose is in espionage. The apparent content of the note is a decoy. The true message is hidden in the elaborate pattern of underlining.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 10:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Troy McClure bang

    This note was certainly extended.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Troy McClure bang

    Okay so Rose wants everyone to cooperate, in this and any other matter. Tell your friends.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   WanderingPenguin bang

    All 14 notes were removed, possibly.

    Come on, Rose – were they removed or weren’t they? Inquiring minds want to know!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   dawn bang

    14 notices about a swiped newspaper? Can you say C-R-A-Z-Y, boys and girls?

    Team Read the Paper Online and Move On With Your Life!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Troy McClure bang

    Possibly by the person who might have been responsible! Or maybe by someone else who might’ve been responsible….

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   WanderingPenguin bang

    I particularly love the way it starts off like a Hallmark greeting (“Nine Simple Words….”) and rapidly degenerates into more and more stressed-out and inappropriate underlining.

    So let me get this straight: it’s not ok to take a resident’s newspaper if they plan to be away from the building…but it is ok to take it if additional plans are “make”? So…if I live there and go visit my brother for the afternoon, my paper should still be there when I get back…but if we decide on a whim to go get a beer, say goodbye to my WSJ?

    Hardly seems fair.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Troy McClure bang

    Come on, Dawn, integrity is at stake! No one’s going anywhere until we find that paper.

    Actually I think some cash-strapped resident stole the newspaper to use for heating, or lining a bird-cage, or something. The 14 extra sheets of paper are just encouraging the thief.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   WanderingPenguin bang

    No, Troy, that’s not what she said with that extra comma. ;) Look again!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   WanderingPenguin bang

    That note makes me want to go around TOUCHING papers in the lobby and letting Rose know about it.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Troy McClure bang

    Yeah, poor Rose has tried so hard to pin down the exact nature of the circumstances under which you can take a paper. I wouldn’t have thought it should be that difficult.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   todd

    I’M not SURE than anyone G-I-V-E-S a (shit) ROSE.

    THANK YOU,
    Team Newspaper-Swiper

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Juliet bang

    # 10 – LOL!

    It’s just a newspaper! A newspaper! What the hell? Did it have a winning lottery ticket in it? Do you know how inexpensive and easy it is to get newspapers?

    This reminds me of the time when I was in grade 9 and the teacher kept all of us after school because her favourite student lost her pencil. The teacher made us all wait 20 minutes and during that time urged us to return the pencil. It wasn’t engraved in gold and wasn’t a gift from a dying relative. It was a standard #2 pencil. I missed my bus over a friggin pencil!

    Team newspaper thief!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Zsa

    Bold, Caps, underlined. Bold and underlined, Caps and underlined. Bold AND caps AND underlined. Oh my, can just see Rose pounding the heck out of the keybard by the time she was done. escalate much?

    All she needed was colors and (source: m-w.com) to make this an A+

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   WanderingPenguin bang

    I bet one of those “lizzards” came in and took it. Or perhaps a vagrant and thief.

    There is no way that paper was fucking delicious, btw. It’s the Wall Street Journal!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Mishee bang

    That Wall Street Journal was fucking delicious!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Mishee bang

    WP, great minds think alike – I was surprised we went 15 posts before someone said it anyways!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Troy McClure bang

    Look again? I can’t look away! Does “possibly” qualify “removed”? Or “were”? And who is “the” person who might be responsible? (And if they’re not responsible, then who the hell is?)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Mishee bang

    But I do have to say, if you are living in Oakland and the only thing stolen is your newspaper, I would say that you are in pretty good shape!! Oakland is just a scary, scary place…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Troy McClure bang

    Rose obviously has a MUCH finer sensitivity to subtle gradations and rhythms of emphasis than I have. I cannot imagine what I would have to be trying to express, to want to underline four words in a row, break the underline for the following space, and then underline the next four words in a row. I’m in awe. Really, this is teaching me how little I understand of humanity.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Zsa

    Maybe the person taking down all 14 notices was the owner of the stolen WSJ who thinks this has gone beyond all reason for a newspaper or two (if I remember right WSJ doesnt do a sunday paper)

    Maybe she just missed the ransom note:
    Cant buy own paper- leave $2 in the mailbox and the paper will be returned, unharmed, after I’m done in the bathroom.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Zsa

    oops… missed the “OR maybe she missed the ransom note”

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Troy McClure bang

    #21 Omg yes that must be it. Some staid accountant is kicking himself for having mentioned it to Rose in the first place, but too embarrassed to ask her to stop. He’s just digging himself a deeper hole…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   WanderingPenguin bang

    Troy, it reads:” ALL 14 notices were removed, possibly, by the individual who….”

    That extra comma means “possibly” modifies “removed” and not “by the individual”. That was all I was getting at. ;)

    So….were they removed or not, Rose?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   WanderingPenguin bang

    #17 LOL Mishee – precisely!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Mishee bang

    Yes, I believe this note also needs to be tagged with “Comma Abuse”

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   WanderingPenguin bang

    How about the colon before “AGAIN”? I am certain that is not supposed to be there.

    I think she really meant she wanted to prevent this from happening “again”, because she’s too late to prevent this from happening “once”. Instead, she says that “AGAIN” she is asking people not to take a paper. Because obviously that worked so well the first time she asked it.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   MasterTwisted

    If Rose were a copy editor or writer, possibly, she wouldn’t have to work in apartment management. This would obviate her dealings with paper thieves. Perhaps the erstwhile WSJ reader needs to get a mat that doesn’t say “Leave”.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Team leave-my-paper-alone.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   sea

    team underline excessively!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Cookie bang

    I want to go to Oakland, find Rose, and leave a WSJ on the doormat of every tenant in that complex. Does this make me:

    a) less crazy than Rose,
    b) equally crazy,
    or c) more crazy?

    Team My Crazy Beats Your Crazy

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Troy McClure bang

    WP, maybe you’re right. It’s not the right way to punctuate anything, though, so I can’t get too concerned about what it comes closest to saying. Anyhow the last part of that sentence is definitely my favourite. My eyes are wet.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   WanderingPenguin bang

    If she was a copy editor, MT, I don’t think she would be done with paper thieves in the slightest. ;)

    BTW, I have been parsing this note, MT, because I like to think there’s a special place in hell for people who like to produce such grandiose missives but have absolutely no idea how to form simple sentences. From the very first line Rose obviously fancies herself to be a brilliant note-writer; it’s equally obvious she needs to be disabused of this notion with all due haste.

    Period. :)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Mishee bang

    WP, Oakland is just about 20 minutes from me, should I go find Rose and slap her silly for thinking she could write or that she was clever?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   lauralaiwc

    i think rose is the paper theif and this is just a convenient cover-up.

    methinks the lady protests too much!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   GhostWriter

    Juliet (#13) asked: “Do you know how inexpensive and easy it is to get newspapers?

    Sure we do, Juliet- but we have more I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y than that…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   the sos

    the heisa monster did it. and he said that WSJ was fucking delicious.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   GhostWriter

    BTW, if we happen to agree with Rose on this matter, why does she have to push her luck and ask for cooperation on, “…any other matter” as well?

    I don’t plan to cooperate on her ridiculous “Octoberfest-in-November” happy hour idea.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   lauralaiwc

    this is the sort of note asking for rebellion within the apartment community!

    i wonder if rose hides in the bushes and picks up dog poop to leave on tennants doorsteps…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   WanderingPenguin bang

    #33 – I would say slap her twice, Mishee, for both. No point in wasting a trip. ;)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Mishee bang

    “I’m asking ALL to cooperate, in this and any other matter….”

    Dammit the comma abuse is burning my corneas!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   nate

    God, I can just hear Rose now:

    “It’s not the paper per se, it’s the principle of the thing!”

    God, people like this are tiresome.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Team Cassandra bang

    I would love to see, on this particular note, a little pink marker with “Rose sucks 8==o” and other fun comments and drawings. I’m not sure why…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Troy McClure bang

    #37, for sure. See #3. Say goodbye to war, poverty and injustice; Rose is in charge now. (But maybe not illiteracy.)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Mitsu bang

    Ok, living in an apartment building, a stolen paper would be the LEAST of my worries! It’s so funny how people can overreact at times!
    Wandering Penguin: Dalton McGuinty is so fucking hot!!! I don’t care what anyone says!! (I’m form Ottawa South, btw)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Mishee bang

    Team Cass you are so right! That would’ve been great! LMAO! But only if it was written in handwriting that could only belong to a 19 year old girl… with a pink pen

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Troy McClure bang

    Scented ink! (Oh Stupendous PANgolin, can we get smell on this thing?)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Mitsu bang

    this would be a lot better if it was handwritten. Then we would be able to tell how crazy Rose is, just by analyzing her handwriting.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Troy McClure bang

    Mitsu, yeah, then we’d be really sure.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   MeinSchatz

    Maybe one of the possoms dragged it off to his lair.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Mitsu bang

    OOPS! I meant “from Ottawa South”… *please don’t hurt me*

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   sunlotus bang

    Nine more letters: G-E-T-O-V-E-R-I-T.

    And another nine letters: N-E-W-S-S-T-A-N-D.

    Is there evidence that the WSJ in question was even actually delivered that day?

    Going forward, additional plans should definitely be MAKE with someone.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Paul

    ok ok…I took the fuckin paper and my windows have never been cleaner!

    I think Rose is the codename being used by Ellen Degeneres

    “PLEASE GIVE THAT PAPER BACK TO THAT POOR FAMILY!”

    heh….but you know what they say…a Rose by any other name…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   WanderingPenguin bang

    Well, he’s hot in a Norman Bates kind of psychotic way, I guess, Mitsu.

    My riding is about 4 hours southwest of you, BTW. ;)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Mitsu bang

    WP: I was at the Chateau Laurier on election night, and I grabbed his ass, when I took a pic with him, LMAO!!! BEST…NIGHT…EVER!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   lola bang

    The notices were removed, possibly, OR they became invisible to the human eye… both scenarios are equally likely because I am OFF MY ROCKER!

    Did it ever dawn on her that the other tenants don’t give a rats ass that one person had a newspaper taken, perhaps unintentionally, and thrown away? Maybe they’re the ones removing the posters? I know I would be tempted to tear them down after, say, the SIXTH one, let alone the FOURTEENTH.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Adam Amato

    Team: these notes are getting less and less passive aggressive everyday.

    1) who the fuck cares get a P.O. Box, problem solved.
    2) Does this guy really want his paper returned after I took it to the crapper with me??
    3) This note was kinda boring due to the lak of craziness. I want illiterate beratement goddamn it…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   jfruh

    Hey, now, come on, people, stealing a newspaper from an apt. building lobby is a total dick move. One might as well wear a t-shirt that says “dick” on it as one does it.

    Rose is clearly insane, but still: dick move.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   DrAstroZoom

    Two things:

    1) The squashed celestial-looking apartment complex clip art at the top of the masthead is fucking delicious.

    2) 14 notes for the reacquisition of one Wall Street Journal strikes me as a most unsatisfactory ROI.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Troy McClure bang

    How about 15 notes for the irreacquisition?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Wade bang

    Sooo, if I am doing the math right:

    The WSJ arrives on or about the 14th

    It disappears on the 15th or 16th

    By the time this memo goes out 7 days later on the 21st, 14 notices have gone out.

    14 notices in 7 days?!?!

    And what about the WSJs delivered the week the notices went out, lol.

    craaazytown!!!!!!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Team Cassandra bang

    Yes, yes Troy and Mishee! Pink scented glitter ink and big curly letters with hearts on the “i”‘s. That would brighten Rose’s day!

    Honestly, that note would make me start stealing everything that wasn’t bolted down. I love making crazy people crazy. It makes it fun to have them around.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Wade bang

    Here’s a thought: maybe the weekend cleaning crew saw the out of date paper and threw it away.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   lola bang

    everyone’s gotta have a hobby, TC

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   mere bang

    i bet the newspaper thief thought there were coupons and a target circular in the wsj, and kept taking them before realizing it wasn’t going to happen.
    but then was too embarrassed to return the paper.
    and is secretly in love w/rose and wants to get some from her.
    kind of a dwight schrute/angela-before-sprinkles- died story.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   lola bang

    wade, I bet the cleaning crew would be laughing their asses off at the craziness it incited. Or better yet, it was taken by a homeless person – an illiterate homeless person – who couldn’t give a shit about the state of the Market and used it for insulation, yet couldn’t read the notices.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Mitsu bang

    Maybe it was taken by a cat…Cats love to sit on, and play with newspapers! If this is the case, then those notes don’t mean crap!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   Fraulein N bang

    Why oh why does she stop the underlining only to pick it up again on the very next word?! Jesus.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Mitsu bang

    Fraulein, that’s what these crazies do!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Mishee bang

    The sporadic underlining is one of my favorite parts of this note… it just screams “I’m NUTS!”

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   Troy McClure bang

    Fraulein, my theory’s at #20.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   Troy McClure bang

    TC & Mishee, can we work in those crinkle-cut scissors? And ink stamps!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   claw71

    14 notes and now this? I’m surprised Rose hasn’t resorted to exploding dye packets.

    Do they not have internet in California? Cancel the subscription and get your news online.

    Team World Wide Web…it’s not just for porn anymore.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Mishee bang

    Don’t forget glitter Troy!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   Mitsu bang

    I think I might have scared off WanderingPenguin… :(

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Wade bang

    To be fair, I would be unsettled… that someone working here would spend the better part of the week harassing residents about a week old newspaper.

    Captain Rose Queeg: “Ahh, but the wall street journal that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the lobby DID exist, and I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t of pulled my 14 notices down. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow residents…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Troy McClure bang

    #72: you had me twice in one short post!
    #74: Nah. He’ll be fine. Probably just looking for some peach schnapps.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 12:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   claw71

    What’s with the cheap shots on Oakland, Mishee?

    I’ve been there and it’s not any more or less frightening than any other city of its size. Is this a Bill O’Reilly-esque observation?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   Troy McClure bang

    Claw, Klan and DOA are scary words. (Though they juxtapose rather well I suppose.)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Jill

    Wow. All that passion and energy wasted on a newspaper? Some people need to get a life.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   claw71

    The only reason people get the WSJ is so they can look important. Like George Costanza checking the stock market on the subway.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   GhostWriter

    I , for one, Troy, and getting alittle bit tired of your P/A comments stating, “Nice thought, but I’ve already covered it in an earlier post #n.

    Maybe I didn’t care to review everybody else’s comments; I’m here to write my own. Geez- I didn’t know this site mandated reading assignments!

    (just stirring up trouble…)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   Troy McClure bang

    That’s why I always read the National Enquirer: to look unimportant.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Jen

    Rose probably just has the theif confused: what to pay more attention to – the all caps or the underlined words – where is the real emphasis of the message. The papers would have been returned long ago if this would have been made clear.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   WanderingPenguin bang

    re #54 & #74:

    Ew. And no. :)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   lauralaiwc

    find your newspaper, i bet youll find the stolen gourmet cat food too.

    i cant beleive she tracked the notes she left. who the fuck cares, ya know? was it her paper? is this an ongoing deal and she had to write stupid notes to appease an angry tennant?

    team be an adult and deal with it.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Troy McClure bang

    #81: ouch! Yeah fair enough. I only meant it as in “yes, I agree with you, and look, I can prove it!” Really I was aiming for obsequious rather than dismissive!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   IDman

    I think Rose needs to register for band camp.

    I hear people get laid there.

    Getting laid might do her a world of good.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   WanderingPenguin bang

    (still waiting for somebody to take GW up on his fight-picking offer, dammit!)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   Mitsu bang

    She’s an apartment building manager, people! Craziness is a prerequisite to getting that job! That explains it.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Mitsu bang

    um, GW, this site is all about P/A!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   claw71

    Mishee: I was in Oakland yesterday and I was really surpised. Nobody shot, stabbed, robbed or even raped me. I was actually a little disappointed about not getting sexually assaulted…I mean, I haven’t gotten any action in years… but it was amazing. People were walking around without 40s and nobody was yelling about their “mother f-ing” juice. It was almost like my own neighborhood after the Tanning Salon coupons come out.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Troy McClure bang

    #88: Well he picked the wrong guy to mess with with me.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   Wade bang

    ROFL GW #81!!

    I was thinking the same thing when I read comment #35 to #13 to #10 :D

    stiritup, lol

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   GhostWriter

    I Know! I just went through the effort to look up the word, “obsequience” and I find out it’s not insulting at all.

    That Troy guy is a little too perfect, IMO…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   claw71

    Man, I am so disappointed. Here I was posting my little heart just for GhostWriter. Now we find out that GhostWriter doesn’t read every post. I feel so empty.

    I always suspected it but did you have to shatter my dreams? What kind of a heartless person does that to people? Where will I find fulfillment now? Woe is me.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   Mitsu bang

    Personally, I read all the comments, if it makes you feel any better, Claw :) . I enjoy seeing the evolution of the thread, and the various recurring themes.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   Wade bang

    claw – after such a devastating blow, you need a restorative vacation, a retreat as it were. May I suggest the fair city of Oakland, California.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   Troy McClure bang

    #95: If even we who care enough to post here, aren’t willing to read each others’ posts, well then, well then, what hope is there for any of us??

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   GhostWriter

    Your comments I read, claw71. I hate it when you jump all over Mishee in a blatant attempt to stir up trouble, because I thought it was clear that I was working that side of the street.

    Notewise- lessee, is there anything left that Troy hasn’t covered?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Troy McClure bang

    Yeah actually Sydney’s starting to get really hot now, otherwise I’d offer you my corridor (the couch and lounge floor are bagsed already).

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Troy McClure bang

    No, go on, be my guest. You might say it better!!!! and!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   Mishee bang

    Unless you live nearby, you can’t defend Oakland. It’s a scary place that I wouldn’t go to alone – you have to realize something is wrong when the residents of a city riot when their team WINS the AFC Championship – although I do love the Raider Nation and what they stand for… no riots please!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   Saporro

    the paper made it easier to clean up after my dog yesterday, and also informed me that i needed to short sell a few of my stocks as well.

    Team Paper Pooper Scooper

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Mishee bang

    #99 GW – everyone here should have a chance to mess with me to “Stir Up Trouble” (god I miss that counter!) – I am an “equal opportunity annoyer”

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   claw71

    Sorry Mitsu, while I’m flattered that you read each post I am sorry to say that you, sir, are no GhostWriter.

    And Wade, Oakland is a fine metropolitan area with so much too offer but since the stinging blow dealt by GhostWriter is closely linked to this post and its origin in Oakland I fear that sequestering myself in Oakland would only make matters worse.

    Your advice is sound and I am booking this respite as as we write. I have set my sites on the cozy confines of Saskatoon.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Troy McClure bang

    GW, I reckon there might be really rich pickings for you in the sentence “I must agree … subscriber when asked.” I was going to get into it but then I thought how much you’d enjoy it. Go to town!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   Mitsu bang

    Claw, actually it would be “miss”!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   Wade bang

    ROFL!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Mitsu bang

    Saskatoon is a great choice though, it’s really peaceful.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   Katy

    A subscription to the WSJ is expensive shit. Each issue is friggin’ huge and I can’t imagine someone having time to read it all every day and still have time to do something else.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   Mishee bang

    Oakland is a Terror Town – hell it’s #8 on the Top 25 Most Dangerous Cities in the country! Anyone who thinks differently apparently visited the Oakland Hills! All you need to worry about up there is wildfires!!

    http://www.morganquitno.com/cit07pop.htm#25

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   claw71

    Back to the subject of newspapers:

    People, the reporters bust their butts to meet deadlines so the paper can be printed and packaged in time to get to your door by before sunrise. Thousands of people work very hard to make the miracle or morning delivery happen each an every day. The least you can do as a subscriber is get your fat ass out of bed and pretend to appreciate the effort.

    The way I see it, once sunlight hits the newsprint it’s fair game.

    When you subcribe to a paper you aren’t purchasing the actual paper, you’re buying a chance to read it. If somebody beats you to it, tough tits.

    Team Early Riser.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   WanderingPenguin bang

    Wow, #8 on the Top 25?

    Wonder where it would be on the Top 100? ;)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Team Hate the Pretentious

    I think people who have home delivery of the WSJ are pretentious, want to be seen “reading” the journal and are just asking for it to be stolen by neighbors. Pick it up at the newstand, have it delivered to work, or read it online like a normal person and then you won’t have this problem.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Mishee bang

    Wow WP – I think it would still be #8, the list would just be a little longer. You don’t have to be a smart ass!! :)

    And Claw, so I suppose your newspaper rule was concieved at the same time as your 45 minute rule?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   claw71

    Mishee:

    I was just poking fun at you but the stats you cited can be misleading. Scroll down to the bottom of that list and review the metro areas and compare. Those statisitcs are a better reflection of the entire area associated with a city. Oakland falls to 19 on the list and Myrtle Beach is ahead of it. That’s interesting.

    As for sport-related riots, come to Columbus after the Buckeyes play at home. We have a riot every other week.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   Wade bang

    Saskatoon. Well, it’s certainly no Regina, lol!

    Finding out everyone doesn’t read every post has me feeling a little low, also. I mean, I put a lot of thought into that Caine Mutiny reference. :D

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   WanderingPenguin bang

    No, I don’t have to be a smart ass…but where would the fun be in that?

    Thanks for getting there so quickly! ;)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 1:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   tanyetta

    hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   Wade bang

    I looked through that list. Yakima, Washington is the 17th most dangerous metro area in the US?!?!?

    Yakima? Metro??

    Things have really gone downhill at the Flying Horse Ranch, lol.

    And to stay on topic, i’m with claw #112. you snooze, you lose.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   Mishee bang

    Wade, I believe now that Claw has “You Snooze You Lose” tattooed somewhere on his ample body! Possibly on his albino python?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   claw71

    Yakima is dangerous. I think they still have showdowns at high noon.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   Mishee bang

    I, on the other hand, live in the metro area that is #1 on the Safest List for it’s Population Bracket (San Jose, you KNOW)… My actual city used to be #3 on that list, but somehow it has disappeared from the list altogether… must research what happened to my beloved Sunnyvale!

    Those list makers need to realize the rash of vampire related violence is SunnyDALE, not my town!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   Wade bang

    :P

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   Wade bang

    maybe they are counting bear attacks in the statistics, lol

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   claw71

    That’s funny because I really do have that tattooed on my belly. I was inspired by Tupac’s “Thug Life” ink. Of course I had gastic by pass surgery a few months ago and now it reads U OOZE YOE

    Sure, if I stretch the folds it’s still there but who has time for all of that.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   Mishee bang

    Claw, as much as I am ashamed to admit it, my older brother has Pac’s tat on his belly – complete with the T as a cross and the I as a 40oz. The most ridiculous tattoo I think I have ever seen! He’s such a fool!!!(!! – for good measure!)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   GhostWriter

    Regarding the monumental sentence, “I must agree with the thought about how unsettling it is; to think, someone living here might lower their standard and take something as simple as a newspaper, and not even return it to the original subscriber when asked.

    Unanswered questions:

    (1) Who is Rose agreeing with? …her own thoughts? Now, that’s cooperation!

    (2) Is it really “unsettling” when a thief lowers their standard, and takes something as simple as a newspaper? Better to lose the WSJ than an wallet, right? A reduction in thievery is slightly “settling,” if anything.

    (3) These accusations are trumped-up charges! Yes, someone stole a newspaper, but it is not a worse crime to “not even return” the newspaper- it’s the same damn thing! It’s like saying, “Not only did someone take my newspaper, but they didn’t even tell me that they took it!”

    (4) …man this is hard; little help here, Troy?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   Mishee bang

    Troy has retired for the evening. Apparently it’s like, 3 am there! :)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   GhostWriter

    Well, what are you doing just standing there Mishee- fill in that #4!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   Mishee bang

    I am wondering why someone who lives in Oakland would be reading the WSJ in the first place… are they checking their interests in “Your Black Muslim Bakery”? Cause I have a sinking feeling if you are invested in that company you should probably get out NOW! (unless you are already incarcerated… in that case, screw you!)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   Mishee bang

    It would probably be safer to invest in a World Series or Super Bowl ring for the A’s or the Raiders (Go A’s!)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   claw71

    I could see the request for getting the stolen paper back:

    Please give me back my paper…I won’t be mad. Promise.

    My parents got me with that one…once. Now when I do anything remotely wrong I’ll deny until I die. Your paper? Nope. Never saw it. Oh, this paper? Is it yours? Really? I bought from this guy on the corner. A black guy. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Wow, what’s this neighborhood coming to? It’s like we’re living in Modesto or something.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   Mishee bang

    umm, claw if that is a jab at me, why don’t you google “Your Black Muslim Bakery” and then comment on it…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   Wade bang

    I wonder if the right to make plans away from this building and be able to return and STILL FIND THE SUBSCRIBED paper waiting for them in the lobby, UNTOUCHED by others, unless additional plans (by the subscriber) were made with someone is covered in the lease agreement.

    And how do you read the paper if you are not allowed to touch it?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Wade bang

    ooh, sorry WP. The last part was already covered in #10, lol.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   Agargara

    The brilliant underlining, bolding and capitalizing scheme shows an admirable level of artistry. Much time must have been spent deciding precisely which words to capitalize, underline, bold, or in some cases, do all three. All that’s missing is the random changes in font and font size that can be seen in the more brilliant p-a notes.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   Wade bang

    I think this classic P-A note would have done a better job of getting the point across:

    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/12/love-apt-3/#more-249

    from Regina, no less. :D

    Oct 19, 2007 at 2:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   Aleks

    This note so makes me want to buy up every copy of WSJ I can get my hands on and deliver it to Rose personally. The commas! The bold, capitalized, underlined passages! The freakin’ drama over a freakin’ paper! Geez, Rose – did you miss taking your meds that week??

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   lola bang

    mish – all of your !s are giving me anxiety. I’m telling you this as a PA friend – you’re a few underlines short of a crazy landlord ;)

    in all of the rioting, did you ever take part? I would think that would be fun to tip a car. Then again, I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life and the only things I’ve tipped are beer bottles, waitresses and cows.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   protocrone

    okay everyone! my daughter lives in oakland and although she’s been held up at knife point at the bart station, house broken into so many times she’s lost count and her dear mommy has set off the burglar alarm accidentally and it took the cops 20 minutes to show up, she loves o-land. you can be afraid anywhere — you have my permission.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   Mishee bang

    lola – all the !! are due to the comment yesterday about how more than 5 indicates you are crazy. Just having fun with that factoid.

    No rioting for me… in fact, my brother said, hey, let’s go to Oakland wearing Florida T-shirts (they were playing them in the superbowl) and I told him he had a death wish. I just remember watching the news and seeing all the cops slowly going down International in full riot gear…

    But I would rather live in Oakland than to ever move out of the Bay Area again!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   eh

    TEAM ROSE!

    imagine subscribing to something you looked forward to reading daily but it isn’t there because someone else steals it. that would grate.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   lou zurr

    rose, this is mr. throbby, he is going to make you forget all about a missing wsj. say howdy and shake hands.
    you may even find him delicious.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   Mitsu bang

    I have the strange urge to go there and steal her paper, but replace it with the Washington Post, or something. That would piss her off!
    Oh, how I love bugging crazy people!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #146   claw71

    I thought it would be fun to tip a car too. So a bunch of us got together in high school and gave it a try. It was a lot harder than it looked but we soon realized that we had to rock the car to get momentum on our side. We finally flipped that car over and thought we were the coolest people in the history of the world. Except for Jeff Camp who crapped his pants due to the exertion. Still, he was pleased.

    Until we saw the leg protruding from under the car. My kid brother’s leg. We all freaked out.

    Like idiots we tried to roll the car back over but again this required momentum so we had to rock the car back and forth. Of course this only helped us seal my brother’s fate as the weight of the car crushed every bone in his body and pulverized his flesh. Finally, we realized what we were doing and stopped, sending somebody off to get help.

    When they finally pulled the car off of my brother he was barely alive. At the time I was relieved but over the next 10 years of brutal therapy and multiple surgeries I anguished over what I did.

    Now every year I see him at Thanksgiving… no arms, half a leg and a face that looks like a salmon eye, full of rage, nestled in a pile of rancid hamburger with thin pulpy lips… and I can’t help but wish that we would have kept rocking that car until every last bit of life was squeezed out of him.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   anglophile bang

    I believe the angst which lead the original victim to post 14 notes pleading for the return of their WSJ is due to the fact that it was the inaugural issue of the Rupert Murdoch era, and page 17 was a foldout of Pamela Anderson nekkid.

    I also wonder, given Rose’s obvious love of CAPS LOCK, bold, and underline, why has she never learned to italicize? With just a few clicks of the keyboard, her note-writing life could be all she ever dreamed it could be, AND MORE.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #148   Peggy Lu Who

    @Mishee – Don’t come to Oakland. It is scary. We eat Mishees here.

    We also nibble on Roses.

    And nosh the sh!t out of the Wall Street Journal.

    Just Sayin’.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #149   anglophile bang

    lola, did you really ever tip a cow? You’re from Wisconsin, hey? Your comment about bubblers makes me think so.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 3:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #150   claw71

    Mishee:

    We could get into a socio-poltical discussion about race, crime, poverty and politics but this is not the place. However, I wonder why you seem so eager to debate this topic.

    It does seem that you have a tendency to generalize on this subject and I think your reference to the Bey family is an example of that. I don’t know what point you’re trying to make but it seems as though you believe that black=trouble.

    Your sensitivity to my post where I satirized white society’s willingness to blame imaginary black suspects (Susan Smith) reveals a subconscious sense of guilt. I think you need to take some time to examine your views and decide if you are a racist.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 4:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #151   Olivia

    Oh come on. Rose deserves *some* props. I mean, she had to dig her typewriter out of the closet in order to produce this gem. ;)

    At any rate:

    Team There Are Bigger Issues To Worry About

    Oct 19, 2007 at 4:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #152   Mishee bang

    Actually claw, I wouldn’t have had a problem with the Bey family and friends if they hadn’t decided to murder a reporter for looking into the OTHER crimes they have committed! Sometimes a stereotype isn’t just a stereotype – it’s the truth!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #153   paper carrier

    As one who delievers papers every dang day, this note doesn’t even begin to cover how C-R-A-Z-Y people are about them.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 4:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #154   ijRoberts

    Penis, Bestiality, Murder, Anal Leakage, Breasts, Hairlessness…

    This thread was getting a little boring, so I’d throw in some fun words for the Googlers…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 4:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #155   Mishee bang

    regale us with you tales of woe paper carrier!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 5:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #156   rrpa

    Since when does the Wall Street Journal publish on the weekends? It’s been M-F for as long as I remember.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 5:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #157   lola bang

    Wisconsin is my one true love. And the cheese there is great, eh? Ya-hey, youse guys better be careful – we breed the crazies up nort.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 6:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #158   Mishee bang

    California: It’s the Cheese….

    and 159 WP – I think it’s a little of both!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #159   Mishee bang

    WI is on that safest city list quite a few times… must be a nice, safe place to live…

    How boring!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 6:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #160   morpho aurora bang

    rose stole the WSJ – this note was just a cya move
    or, rose has MPD, and different personalities stole the paper, posted the 14 notes, took them down, and sent out this one. she is crazy, after all.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 6:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #161   Canthz_B bang

    I wonder if Rose can find the Captain’s strawberries?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 7:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #162   Canthz_B bang

    Oh! Wade! I just read #75…You beat me to “The Caine Mutiny”!!!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 7:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #163   Canthz_B bang

    #78 Troy, Klan in Oakland would be DOA. ;-)

    Oct 19, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #164   Canthz_B bang

    $110 Katy, That’s why New Yorkers don’t have time to drink Mr. Pibb! LOL

    Oct 19, 2007 at 7:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #165   Canthz_B bang

    Mishee, perhaps your town got safer when they locked up your old man.
    They get back on the list in February 2008.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 8:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #166   Canthz_B bang

    #155, you mean like when those White folks murdered that Denver radio host Mishee?
    Or were you referring to nooses not being considered a racial gesture in Louisiana?

    Oct 19, 2007 at 8:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #167   Canthz_B bang

    I agree, and I also feel that the DA should recognize when he gets carried away as well.
    To not charge a white kid with assault with a deadly weapon when he wields a broken beer bottle at a black kid at a party, but to then charge a black kid with assault with a deadly weapon for kicking a white kid in a schoolyard brawl and site his tennis shoes as the weapon is, in my humble opinion, flat out wrong.
    Don’t know about you, but if my life was in danger and I was given the choice between a broken bottle and a shoe to defend myself, I’m grabbing the bottle!

    Oct 19, 2007 at 8:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #168   Canthz_B bang

    Oh, and I am not baiting you into a racial discussion Sweetie, that discussion was here before I arrived today. Just thought that if you were going to discuss racial issues, you really ought to hear fthe opinion of a person of color.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #169   Mishee bang

    And I agree with you. I am not going to debate it, because there are rights and wrongs all over that situation… plus I am not completely up to date on the issue since my man left I haven’t been watching the news in the mornings as much…

    but let’s please get back to the newpaper issue at hand, because that is the hot topic of the day, and I am sick of being blamed for going off topic…

    Oct 19, 2007 at 8:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #170   Wade bang

    I found this on the Vandenburg AFB website (I love the google!)
    http://www.vandenberg.af.mil/news/story_print.asp?id=123066139

    Enjoy!

    Now for the “fun” part. I’ve created an acronym to help us define and remember what real integrity means. Each letter of the word I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y has a special meaning that helps guide me, and I hope it will help you as well.

    “I” stands for initiative. Take the initiative to do the right thing even when no one else will know.

    “N” stands for nurturing. Nurture others through the quality of your actions even when no one else will know.

    “T” stands for teamwork. Teamwork is service before self even when no one else will know.

    “E” stands for excellence. Excellence in all we do even when no one else will know.

    “G” stands for giving. Giving 110 percent even when no one else will know.

    “R” stands for respect. Respect each other even when no one else will know.

    “I” stands for intelligence. Be intelligent by knowing your job better than anyone, even when no one else will know.

    “T” stands for true. Be true to the best that’s in you even when no one else will know.

    And “Y” stands for you. You and I can make a difference even when no one else will know.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 9:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #171   Wade bang

    “even when know one else will know” who took the Wall Street Journal from the lobby.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 9:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #172   Coke-aholic

    I got a bit tired reading through all of the comments, but has anyone wondered if maybe that crazy old cat lady who hated the ‘leave’ doormat and this Rose lady are best friends? Sorry if someone mentioned that already.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 10:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #173   Troy McClure bang

    #128: Loving it! (I’m just popping in very briefly.) Maybe for Rose, self-agreement is an unusual state. Also, that singular “standard” just somehow makes it sound to me like a penis euphemism.

    #146: how cruel this world.

    #168: There’s gotta be a cryptic crossword clue in there somewhere!

    I reckon there’s two types of people: complacent racists, and racists trying not to be. Anyone in the 2nd camp’s on my side, as long as they’re trying. (Though sometimes they may be very trying.) My mother-out-law’s always talking about “Americans … of but not you of course,” bless her heart.

    Oct 19, 2007 at 11:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #174   paper carrier

    #160: The WSJ is Mon – Sat.
    Aren’t you glad I shared?
    I like the rich lazy-ass bastards who have to have their paper on their porch every freaking morning. God forbid if they had to walk down the driveway and pick it up. How demeaning! They always live next to the little ninety year old woman who just insists having her paper in her driveway so I don’t have to go out of my way. The one who is so happy to have her paper every morning, she limps on down with her cane’s assistance to get it…bless her heart… Guess who gets the paper on her porch???? LOL
    I guess that is P-A in action.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 12:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #175   Nattie

    Those 14 notices were fucking delicious

    Oct 20, 2007 at 5:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #176   Team Cassandra bang

    Dear Coke-a-holic,

    The crazy old Cat Lady will be featured as The Wicked Witch in…

    The Wizard of Notes!
    A tale of 14 notices.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 8:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #177   God

    I am sorry for making Mishee. I thought putting her on this Earth would teach you all tolerance but I see that I made her entirely too annoying and that’s just far too much to ask of you. Jesus, I didn’t even make Rosie O’Donnell this annoying. Please forgive me. And give at church, I need some new golf clubs.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #178   anon

    To be fair, I’m from this building. There was one notice, printed 14 times, and put in various places.. in the elevator, and on every door to the stairwell on all 4 floors. I’m not sure if it was put up to Rose or the person who lost the newspaper, but they were much simpler and said to the effect “Give my WSJ back!” When they were all “mysteriously” removed, Rose fought back.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 12:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #179   Wade bang

    so, help me out here, anon (if that’s who you really are, lol).

    Is there a stack of WSJs delivered to the lobby with each subscribers name on it to be picked up at their leisure… and someone took another person’s paper? Or did they leave their paper in the lobby expecting to find it when they came back? or another option i’m not considering.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 1:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #180   Juliet bang

    Wade, still laughing at post # 176. I love those acronyms used for team empowerment in the workplace. Hi-larious!

    Oct 20, 2007 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #181   Canthz_B bang

    P is for the printed word mangled badly.
    A is for the anger notes display.
    N is for our never-ending saga.
    Put them all together and say “Thanks Terry”!

    Oct 20, 2007 at 2:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #182   tweedle

    Rose is mad as hell and she’s not gonna take it anymore.

    Wish I had someone like Rose to champion me in all of the little, and I mean L-I-T-T-L-E, injustices and indignities I must endure daily.

    Would someone kindly tell her that children are starving in China –and Oakland?

    Oct 20, 2007 at 2:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #183   dawn bang

    anon: One notice printed on 14 pieces of virgin, non-recycled paper doesn’t make it any less crazy to me. When it’s all said and done, we’re still talking about a newspaper.

    Way back in the day when I was having the local paper delivered to my home, I would occasionally discover a lack thereof. I always assumed that either a neighbor swiped it or the lazy paper delivery person hadn’t come around that day. It never occured to me to stick a notice about the stolen paper on my neighbors’ front doors. I had better things to do, which Rose and whoever complained about the missing paper in the first place apparently do not.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 6:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #184   anglophile bang

    Wade # 176: You left the best part out!

    “Whether you sit in an office and use Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary on a regular basis, support varied range and launch operations or fly helicopters like I do, there are great reasons why the Air Force decided upon “Integrity First” as its lead core value. No matter what your endeavor, keep I-N-T-G-R-I-T-Y in all you do!”

    see m-w.com!

    Oct 20, 2007 at 6:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #185   WanderingPenguin bang

    Um….”I-N-T-G-R-I-T-Y”?

    Just sayin’. :)

    Oct 20, 2007 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #186   anglophile bang

    Maybe the Air Force should have made “double check everything” its core value!

    “Yes, sir, there’s plenty of gas in the helicopter. Have a good flight, sir!”

    Oct 20, 2007 at 7:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #187   Wade bang

    ahhh, anglophile (and WP), thanks for playing.

    I wondered if anyone would go to the link and discover that little nugget.

    Well done!! :D

    Oct 20, 2007 at 8:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #188   Canthz_B bang

    Wade, I inititially disregarded the link you provided (too many page errors to risk leaving), but I should have respected your “intgrity” as a frequent flier on PAN Airlines…peanuts Sir?

    Oct 20, 2007 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #189   Wade bang

    why ys, thnk yu, C-B, i wuld lov som penuts. :D

    troy’s not the only one who can play word games, lol.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 9:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #190   WanderingPenguin bang

    Oh hell yeah, Wade. I hate to admit it but I check out pretty much every link presented in here. That one was well worth the effort. And I thank Anglophile for realizing that I had followed your link and wasn’t actually challenging her/his post. ;)

    Oct 20, 2007 at 11:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #191   Wade bang

    ROFL, WP

    Remember, there is no Excellence in I-N-T-G-R-I-T-Y.

    Oct 20, 2007 at 11:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #192   Canthz_B bang

    Lawd-a-mursee, ain’t dat da troot?!

    If you’re going to do it… :-D

    Oct 20, 2007 at 11:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #193   WanderingPenguin bang

    Right-o, Wade, but there are, erm…GRITs… apparently. Or at least the one. :)

    Oct 21, 2007 at 1:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #194   Troy McClure bang

    #185: Mishee, one of your enemies has turned up with a sense of humour! God playing golf, my oh my. Michael, Gabriel & Metatron politely letting him win.

    Oct 21, 2007 at 1:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #195   Canthz_B bang

    I, for one, always let God win…just in case.

    Oct 21, 2007 at 2:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #196   Canthz_B bang

    With no humility left, I must admit that Metatron was too obscure a reference for me.
    I looked it up and it turns out to be obscure to the vast majority of the world.
    Are you human Troy? :-D

    Note: Even my spell checker did not recognize it. I bow to your ecclectic senses Troy.
    For now…Mwahahahaha!

    Oct 21, 2007 at 2:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #197   Troy McClure bang

    Metatron … hmm, did I misspell it? It’s something like that. I looks Greek, but ain’t, it’s really a Hebraicisation (?) of some, I don’t know, Assyrian word or something. Not in the bible at all, I think, but from the same general pattern of Hebrew mythology. I first heard of him in His Dark Materials but was, at the time, able to find other mention of him somewhere … and my research skills are—well—basically they start with ‘g’ and end with ‘oogle’.

    Oct 21, 2007 at 3:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #198   Troy McClure bang

    Er, CB, have you heard about this great new thing called ‘Wikipedia’?

    Just kidding dude! (I’m not really expecting you to research all my jokes; some people aren’t even reading them!)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metatron

    Oct 21, 2007 at 3:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #199   Juliet bang

    #192 – I love that the ‘E’ for ‘excellence’ was the letter missing from I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y.

    So awesome!

    Oct 21, 2007 at 9:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #200   Juliet bang

    I think Metatron sounds like the name of a Transformer. So sue me.

    Oct 21, 2007 at 9:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #201   Canthz_B bang

    LOL That’s what I thought too Juliet.
    Yes Troy, Wiki is where I went. Before that I thought Metatron was a Transformer thrown in for good measure…Duh *slaps forehead*

    Oct 21, 2007 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #202   Canthz_B bang

    looking’ it up is no problem Troy. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it feeds Canthz_B…hell my name is a question! :-D

    Oct 21, 2007 at 10:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #203   Canthz_B bang

    #204…I meant to say “With all humility, I must admit…”.
    Where was my mind at that un-Godly hour?

    Oct 21, 2007 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #204   Wade bang

    I knew I had heard that name before. Metatron was the Alan Rickman character in the movie Dogma.

    Ok, oh blessed PAN god, we are referencing Kevin Smith films. I believe the shark has been jumped, lol.

    Oct 21, 2007 at 1:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #205   anon

    Wade: the WSJs are left in the lobby with the apt numbers on them. I’m surprised that this is the first time someone’s paper has gone missing. I’m personally tempted whenever I see packages left by the mailboxes. People here order beauty supplies, cuisinarts, clothes..

    Dawn: I agree, making 14 copies of the same notice isn’t any less crazy, I just felt people should know the facts. ;)

    Oct 21, 2007 at 2:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #206   Wade bang

    rofl, anon

    my guess is this is the first time Rose’s copy has gone missing, lol.

    Oct 21, 2007 at 3:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #207   TeeHee

    Team paper taker.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 5:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #208   sarah

    I’m thinking that all the time and money spent on 14+ notes, Rose could’ve just went out and bought another one for the tennant.

    Is it not obvious that after 14 notes if the newspaper isn’t back yet then whoever took it doesn’t reside there or doesn’t have it anymore. Who would leave another note apologizing. “Um, I’m sorry I took your paper and then threw it away when I was done reading it, please forgive me”

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #209   Jen

    While everyone is mocking out the person whose newspaper was stolen, you’re also putting the message through that it’s okay to take what isn’t yours and that you have to suck it up and live with it.

    To all those who are saying “you know how cheap it is to get a paper?”: if you have a SUBSCRIPTION, Einstein, then you’ve already PAID! And the Wall Street Journal isn’t CHEAP. Never mind the obvious fact that someone is stealing your property!

    Maybe when something of yours is stolen you might rethink that attitude.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #210   GVI bang

    Aww boo hoo Jen, poor old lady had her paper stolen and it’s now the end of the world.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #211   sarah

    When I was in second grade a pack of my magic markers got stolen, my teacher didn’t put out 14+ notes asking the person to give them back. Good lord, even at 7 yrs old I knew I wasn’t getting them back.
    If my newspaper was getting stolen (I’m assuming several times hence the attitude in the note) then I’d see if I could make other arrangements for “my property” to get to me and not sit in the lobby.

    I don’t think anyone was advocating that it’s ok to steal.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 2:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #212   dawn bang

    *WHOOSH!*

    Hear that?

    That’s the sound of a point being missed. It’s flying over the head of anyone who thinks that we are advocating theft with our comments on this note.

    Team Relax and Enjoy the Ride.

    Oct 24, 2007 at 10:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #213   WanderingPenguin bang

    Wow. Jen strikes again. Every 5-10 notes or so she rears her ugly head amid cries of “but think of the children!” or some such and slaps our virtual hands for being so shallow and missing the “point” of the original note.

    *yawn* What a One-Trick Pony. Or are you a different “Jen” with the same modus operandi?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #214   Total Douche bang

    How do we know the paper was even stolen in the first place? I have a subscription to my local paper, and I’m missing a paper several times a month, 99.9% of the time, it being the delivery person’s fault (forgot, bad hair day, etc…). Chances are, the paper may not have been delivered to begin with. And ’14′ notices?!? Is it just me, there’s ONLY 5 days between the alleged stolen paper(s) and the notice. That’s a note every 8 1/2 HOURS! Does this bitch have a fucking job? I mean, seriously folks, how great of an apartment manager can she be if that’s her biggest concern, and she put that much time and effort into 1 or 2 lousy newspapers?
    I have 41 letters for Rose:
    Y-O-U F-U-C-K-I-N-G A-N-A-L R-E-T-E-N-T-I-V-E S-K-A-N-K ! S-H-U-T T-H-E F-U-C-K U-P!

    Mar 12, 2008 at 4:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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