our anonymous submitter spotted this note posted by a coworker on the office fridge. when asked about the note, this coworker described himself as someone “with a penchant for an orderly universe and a strong desire to see food mingle.” um, okay.
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245 responses so far ↓
#1 todd
stopped reading at “disproportionate” because it has no place in a note about refrigerator space. what a pompous asshole.
Go Team Cluttered Fridge
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#2 Wade
Put your items in the fridge naked? I think that is taking casual Fridays a little too far, lol.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:05 pm rating: +2
#3 Anon
Team Fridge Police…can’t stand having old food stinking up the whole kitchen. Put one refigerator and 75 people in one office and see how it smells after a few weeks. There’s nothing like having no place to put your daily food because of the decomposing Macaroni Grill special from last month taking up space.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
#4 Mishee
Those large plastic bags were fucking delicious!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:07 pm rating: +1
#5 Troy McClure
He sounds like the Chooleys salesman.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:07 pm rating: 0
#6 anna-banana
I like the idea of the “group stack”. Makes me think of orgies.
And, god forbid the “view” is blocked. Someone might want to take a picture,(really!)
If there is a buildup of old/unwanted/lost foods….you might want to check the unclaimed baggage area at your local airport.
That Ziploc baggie of moldy bread was fucking delicious!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:08 pm rating: 0
#7 anna-banana
Mishee beat me to it!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:09 pm rating: 0
#8 lola
I have a sneaking suspicion that this note was left by a Ziploc stockholder.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:11 pm rating: 0
#9 Mishee
That’s the first time I have gotten to be the first “fucking delicious” - that and my #3000 FINALLY I am ready to go watch my CSI now!!
I rock!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
#10 Wade
so they don’t want large bags taking up space, but encourage you to group/stack and mark out your territory?
If I saw this note at work, I would seriously consider an alternate way to “mark my territory.”
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 0
#11 Mishee
THMQ Heisa Error Monster is on the loose.. goodnight everyone!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 0
#12 Olivia
bwahahahaha seriously?!?
Team I Use Plastic Shopping Bags in the Fridge
PS Lola, I was thinking the same thing about the ziplocs…
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 0
#13 Canthz_B
What a busy-body. Why the obsession with transparent Ziplock bags? A burning need to see what others consume on a daily?
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#14 GVI
What I want to know is why the obsession with the bags and not the food in the bags?
Also, what are they breeding in those bags that a brave volunteer had to go in and clean the fridge.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: 0
#15 Canthz_B
Meals deemed by me to be over-sized will be discarded. You people are driving up the cost of our employee health plan, that’s not neighborly.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: 0
#16 Canthz_B
Cover me Joe, I’m goin’ in!!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:27 pm rating: 0
#17 GVI
Sounds like he had to fight off couple Heisa Monsters and stuff.
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#18 Troy McClure
#5, #8, #12, Kevin Smith, & GhostWriter’s PAN etiquette views … it was all leading me here! The moment of truth … what should I do??
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#19 Wade
Troy
Don’t Panic!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 0
#20 Troy McClure
Thanks Wade! Maybe I should go back to work … that might be less stressful!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: 0
#21 tanyetta
the fridge police are NOT playing!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: 0
#22 Canthz_B
The Refrigerator Police person was probably a Student Crossing Guard or a Hall Monitor as well.
Some people love being authority figures.
Sh*t, I forgot my pass!!
Oct 21, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
#23 melissa
Ah, the purity of passive aggressiveness is alive and well in this note! I love that it starts of with the proverbial “Let’s try to avoid the bags”, goes on with friendly suggestions “Why not try ziploc?” but ends up with a hardass Declaration of Behavior Rule “Effective Immediately”, all in bold and underlined.
My guess is that the author thought this was a good suggestion to make himself feel better in his workplace, and as he wrote the note became drunk with the power of his own suggestion until he lived in a land where he was in charge and they will all DO MY BIDDING. I AM THE REFRIGERATOR POLICE!!!! HA!
Oct 22, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: 0
#24 twoforone
i love the tone of this note, and unlike the people i work with, the author seems to have two ounces of intelligence…fuck the rest of you, team clean refrigerator!
Oct 22, 2007 at 12:37 am rating: 0
#25 Cat Skyfire
I confess, I’m a ‘use the plastic grocery bag’ person, because it keeps my food together. A piece of meat in one baggy, maybe a baked potato in another. Or maybe it’s two chinese carryout containers. Or I just don’t want to take my Olive Garden box out of the bag because then I don’t have to worry about any leaks.
That is one obnoxious note. And to me, if you’re gonna have a ‘tossed at 3 on Friday’ rule, it should apply to everything, not just ‘large plastic bags’. Small ziploc bags can get disgusting too. Or what if it’s in a non-sealable small bag (like a sandwich bag without ziploc). Does a box not have the chance to reek? How about that jar of pickles that’s been in there since 1982?
Oct 22, 2007 at 12:45 am rating: 0
#26 Troy McClure
#23: Very incisive. I knew there was something bizarre about this note, rhythmically, but you’ve explained it all. That you understand this stranger so thoroughly on so little evidence should strike unease into the hearts of all with the merest shred of indecency.
Oct 22, 2007 at 1:00 am rating: 0
#27 Canthz_B
Sounds like a wife beater to me…“Bitch, I told you the canned peas go on the second shelf!”
Oct 22, 2007 at 1:36 am rating: 0
#28 butterfly
I say, note-writer-dude, you are thinking way too much about what is going on in the refrigerator — how about this…?
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK TO WORK.
Oct 22, 2007 at 1:47 am rating: 0
#29 TAJ
What always weirds me out is people who bring their lunch in store gift bags. Did you really buy your lunch at Victoria’s Secret?
Oct 22, 2007 at 1:57 am rating: 0
#30 Troy McClure
Maybe the note-writer’s colleagues ought to buy him an angled mirror on a stick, for making it easy to see behind and around large bags.
Oct 22, 2007 at 2:04 am rating: 0
#31 Troy McClure
Well VS has some fuckin delicious stuff….
Oct 22, 2007 at 2:05 am rating: 0
#32 Troy McClure
This kitchen is cleaner than squeaky!
Nothing in this fridge is leaky!
But if you don’t mind,
Could you help me find
The (scan, damn you!) TSA tzar’s tzatsiki?
Oct 22, 2007 at 2:32 am rating: 0
#33 S.S.
I say everyone must buy their own minifridge to be placed below their desk, on the left side, but no closer than 2 1/16 inches to the wall.
That way, you can store whatever the hell you want in whatever configuration or packaging you want, and we can all avoid receiving obnoxious notes like this one in the future.
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
Oct 22, 2007 at 3:59 am rating: 0
#34 Jen
The “throw everything out on Friday” rule is reasonable. Everything else in this note is just blathering nonsense.
Oct 22, 2007 at 4:06 am rating: 0
#35 carmelo-rules
maybe the fridge police should hire a fridge parking attendant, that way they will know who parks what food where and then give them a ticket for leaving their food too long?!!?!?!?!?!?!
Oct 22, 2007 at 4:06 am rating: 0
#36 lambaste
Hi, new on here, but have been reading for ages. #31, Troy’s comment very apt in this case. Question, too, though maybe too nosy, re: Troy - few posts back you say your mother out law is unintentionally racist with comments towards Americans, by which I assume you are one? Due to her hasty follow up of -”Oh not you of course.” But you know the Aussie lingo (a man not afraid to say uni) and the drink famous only in NZ pretty well. What’s the story? Or probably there is one that I haven’t read yet! -
But, it’s all about the posts, right, and the time here in Japan will be different to nearly all else but Oz -
so, on team fridge police. Think his note is funny.
Oct 22, 2007 at 6:21 am rating: 0
#37 Troy McClure
Hi, Lambaste, I’m actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such autobiographies as “The Demure McClure.”
Yeah basically I lived in Massachusetts until I was 14 & then moved to Aotearoa (which also goes by the dumber name of New Zealand) where I’ve tried to stay since. I lived for in Queensland in 1994 and 1995, and also have been in Sydney now since 2004.
There goes my anonymity, I guess; that must narrow me down somewhat!
Anyhow I don’t want to miss my bus home so konbanwa & I’ll catch you cats later.
Oct 22, 2007 at 6:40 am rating: 0
#38 Wade
#23 ROFL melissa too true
and let’s not forget the unibrow smileyface [^-^]
maybe they were going for [^_^], lol
Oct 22, 2007 at 7:05 am rating: 0
#39 Wade
for kicks, i looked up NHRC:
http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/NHRC
here’s the list. i wonder which one it is, lol
NASA/Houston Rocket Club
National Harm Reduction Conference (Canada)
National Hematology Research Centre (Moscow, Russia)
National Hotel Renovation Corp.
National Housing Research Committee (Canada)
National Human Rights Commission (India)
National Hydrology Research Centre (Canada)
Natural Hazards Research Centre (Australia)
Naval Health Research Center (US Navy)
Navrongo Health Research Centre
Neighborhood History Research Collection
Nepal Health Research Council
New Hackensack Reformed Church
New Hampshire Recruitment Center
New Haven Rowing Club
New Hire Reporting Center
New Home Realty Center
North Hills Radio Club
Oct 22, 2007 at 7:21 am rating: 0
#40 Saporro
I went to go check real quick to see if this note was on our fridge. one of the admins is PA to the extreme
Team Old food
Oct 22, 2007 at 7:59 am rating: 0
#41 Wade
I’m still lost in the, er “logic” of this note:
How does the size of the bag effect the length of time the food stays in the fridge? Does that mean you bring more food than you can eat in a week? If so, how does that mesh with the first statement about disproportionate space, which implies a small amount of food relative to the container’s volume?
btw - the smart money is on Naval Health Research Center, but the idea of someone at the National Human Rights Commission in India stressing over grocery bags is both funny and disturbing, lol.
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:08 am rating: 0
#42 kik
team fucking delicious (clean and empty fridge)
I get so sick of the sanctimonious laissez-faire types afraid to clean up their act. You’re the reason the NHRC fridge is full of piggy bags.
I, for one, think it’s equally cool to respect daily fridge users by keeping my stuff out of their way.
There’s a type of person who never uses the fridge, or who does so once or twice per week, or perhaps leaves behind some take out leftovers. These are the ones more likely to forget what they’ve brought, since it isn’t routine.
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:39 am rating: 0
#43 Mitsu
lol, this is just crazy. I bring my food to work in a “large plastic bag”, and I have never had any issues with that. What makes the fridges smell, are the containers with old mac n’cheese, that are growing fur, or the half-eaten avocados that keep getting left in there!
Team throw everything out on Friday afternoon!
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:39 am rating: 0
#44 Everyone
Grudging Compliance FTW~!
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:46 am rating: 0
#45 heisa
i say put up a note on the fridge that reads
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
FUCK YOU
in a large ziploc-style bag.
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:49 am rating: 0
#46 claw71
You want to know the problem with office refrigerators? Fat women.
Everywhere I’ve worked there are these fat women who bring a week’s worth of healthy eating with them every Monday but instead of grazing on the 15 pounds of produce they stuff into the community fridge they break down and make a daily trek to Bob Evans for lunch. After a few weeks you have rotten arugala oozing a fetid slime all over the shelves and expired cottage cheese containers are bulging with lactic gasses. Meanwhile the billing department gained an extra 120 pounds and Bertha had to have her insulin prescription upped to account for the increased blood sugar. Hello high healthcare premiums!
Now I’m not saying that there aren’t fat guys at work but fat guys don’t pretend they’re going to loose 100 pounds in a month. We go straight to the Chinese buffet and speed eat at lunch every day.
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:52 am rating: 0
#47 Mitsu
Claw71: true that! Everywhere that I’ve worked, there’s been tons of rotting veggies left in the fridge. Those pre-packaged salads are the worst!
Oct 22, 2007 at 9:03 am rating: 0
#48 jen
Also transparent for everyone to see: his OCD. This is just the beginning. Once everything’s all neat and pretty, he’ll feel compelled to alphabetize it or sort it all by color and height.
Adults don’t carry lunch boxes. We use grocery bags. C’est la vie. And loose food will be stolen — we have the notes to prove it.
However, there’s an easy solution to this. Just make sure your naked lunch (ha!) is messier looking than a fridge full of bags, and he’ll be begging for a re-bag.
When he throws it out on Friday, he can use whatever system he likes.
Oct 22, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#49 nestchick
I use a lunchbox: http://www.laptoplunches.com/images/LLBentoSetColorOptionsLG.jpg
It is better for the environment than those plastic bags that end up in the trash when they get nasty or ripped.
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:01 am rating: 0
#50 amazon
If I worked there, I’d have the urge to bring in a few bricks in a plastic grocery bag every friday, and stick it in the fridge. Throw that out, biznitch!
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:10 am rating: 0
#51 lola
Um, yeah, fride police? Yeah, I’d like to apply for a permit to pack a concealed lunch… Why? Well, I’m a little short on money this week, so I have to start dipping into my edible panties… Eh hem… That’s still not a valid reason? Well, I guess I could wear them under my clothes…
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:16 am rating: 0
#52 WickedLady
The teachers at my school have a small fridge for their food too. This whole bagging problem must be the reason for the increasing grumpiness of those bossy PE teachers.
It does remind me of a few years ago when a friend and I filled the fridge with a whole bunch of eggs in a bag ‘for a school project’. After a few weeks all the teachers suddenly spent their recesses with the students…
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 0
#53 melanie
That grudging compliance was fucking delicious.
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:23 am rating: 0
#54 anglophile
claw71, #46: It has been my experience that the skinny women are the ones bringing the bagged lettuce and yogurt containers and leaving them to rot in the fridge. That is because they are constantly trying to mooch off the fat women’s leftover pizza and chinese food. The fat women of my experience know damn well a salad and a yogurt isn’t a worthwhile lunch.
I have an annoying co-worker (skinny) who insists on bringing in a full bag of tortilla chips inside a paper grocery bag and has to refrigerate them! Maybe I should buy her a box of Ziplocs.
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:30 am rating: 0
#55 Coke-aholic
Maybe it is because I work from home, but the idea of 75 people sharing a communal fridge is just gross. Think of it like your medicine cabinet at home. I am sure most people wouldn’t want strangers coming to their house and seeing what is in their fridge, let alone how clean it is not and how moldy the food in it is. If I worked somewhere I would either get a tiny dorm fridge or never bring anything that needed to stay cold.
Team Communal fridges are biohazards!
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:42 am rating: 0
#56 Coke-aholic
Sorry forgot to mention the germ factor. Anyone ever think of the fact that a sick person sticking their half eaten sandwich in an office fridge might make everyone sick?
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:44 am rating: 0
#57 Zsa
Gotta say I was the “Fridge Bitch” at one time. I had the joy and pleasure of the cubical across from the copier, fax and floor fridge. After a weekend that thing would smell NASTY and every person walking by would draft the smell into my cube.
Since I couldnt burn candles and my neighbor was “allergic” to air freshener- I was perfectly happy to be the “brave soul” to clean it out, cause I did it often enough to make it tolerable. Although the first time was GROSS. I started an every-other-Thursday email saying :
the Fridge will be cleaned tomorrow. If you want to keep it, put your name on it. If it smells or is expired I will throw it out. Consider this fair warning.
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:53 am rating: 0
#58 Mishee
#46 claw, some of these fat men actually just hang around the office and wait for food to be unattended for 45 minutes… hmmm…
I bet you don’t have a “plastic bag” problem at your work, since you seem to make sure there are no leftovers to go bad in your office fridge!!
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:54 am rating: 0
#59 Mishee
Anyone else having THMQ issues?
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#60 Mishee
oops, TMHQ… it’s early Monday - I’m not completely awake yet!
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#61 Susan
The Refrigerator Police? Any relation to the Mattress Police?!?!
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:57 am rating: