“You should know it can come back and bite you in the ass.”

October 22nd, 2007 · 142 comments

This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.

Dan, Thought I would hear from you this week. I guess no interest. Part of the deal in life is you make commitments and stick to them, particularly   in the sales process. It really is quite alarming these days that companies such as yours cannot adhere to basic ethics. Such a shame. I guess that's why you'll always be that straight line with no growth. Too bad. At some point you have to look at yourselves and say we are so happy with 35 accounts or do we want to jump to the next level. I no [sic] my experience 25 year old kids won't get you there. You have to invest in ability. I don't know that much about you guys, except what I have researched. My suggestion is in the long term bring in people who have the knowledge, ability and relationship superiority to win. And also, don't blow off the people who tried. You guys should know it can come back and bite you in the ass. Some of us have a rather large influence.

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · e-mail · Kansas City · office · spelling and grammar police


142 responses so far ↓

  • #1   anna-banana bang

    This guy has a really large attitude….not influence. And just WHAT does he “no” about 25 yr olds??? He’s experienced a lot of ‘em he says?

    That large influence was fucking delicious!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   WanderingPenguin bang

    Some of us have a rather large influence. And by “some of us” I mean “everyone but me”. And by “rather large influence” I mean “a clue”.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   WanderingPenguin bang

    a-b, I think that typo of “Steve’s” was supposed to say “In my experience….”. But who the hell knows? This is why friends don’t let friends “drunk email”.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Mishee bang

    I love it! Good grammar, well thought out sentences, spell checked, and just the right amount of underlying pissyness!!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Mishee bang

    or would that be pissiness….? it’s not in http://www.m-w.com, so I am not sure… since it’s not really a word!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Mary Quite Contrary

    Oh, Steve. You thought you were being so clever. Yet, I think this email has come to bite you in the ass…

    Wasn’t exactly what you intended, huh?

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   WanderingPenguin bang

    “Good grammar”? Uh, if you say so. It was almost impossible to read with all its two-word “sentences” and the lack of quotes where needed.

    I am pretty sure I have met “Steve” at every party I have ever been to in my life, FTR.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Mishee bang

    I’m sorry WP, I am actually being really sarcastic because it was pretty bad, but also saying it with a vein of truth when compared to the other notes we have seen on this site (i.e. Anthony Grosso and the crazy Yolanda cat lady to name a few)

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   GVI bang

    What an asshole, he is like anti-Jason, but he burns his bridges before he crosses them.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   gdad

    I think I interviewed this guy a while ago. His mom was so pissed that I did not hire him she almost fired me. She is a large woman as well.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Troy McClure bang

    Yolanda’s grammar drove donuts over Steve’s. In fact Steve’s email shows my problem with spell-checkers: people who can’t write think the spell-checker will fix it. Instead, they end up with something a little bit prettier, but just as irrational and ungrammatical.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Troy McClure bang

    gdad, great story. Did she sing too? Coz I want it to be over.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   HendrixIsTheCat

    I, for one, am thankful for this informative e-mail. I might have gone years without realizing that I should direct my commitment-energy especially toward the “sales process.” Silly me — I’d been using it for personal relationships and finishing grad school!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Perhaps someone in the personnel dept. has larger influence and our Steve has already been Blackballed…way to go Steverino!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   todd

    i can’t imagine blowing it that big. talk about running your mouth off…

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Ladies and Gentlemen, here we have an example of how to write a follow-up letter after your resume has actually (Mish) gotten you an interview…

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   carmelo-rules

    he sounds like he should be in the t.v. show, the office, he’d be the creepy guy in the corner that no one talks to but in his mind he runs the show! yup there’s one at every job!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    That age discrimination was fucking delicious!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   GVI bang

    Oh damn, someone mentioned the office, don’t tell lonely myspace girl.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   WanderingPenguin bang

    And by “large woman” gdad meant that she brought a lot of salads and yogurt to work, but ate out every day.

    Oh sorry, that was last thread.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 9:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   WanderingPenguin bang

    Wait….is Mishee a guy?

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40984

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Mishee bang

    har har har

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   kureshii

    Well, this just made me decide to send out interview requests late if I ever start my own company, just to weed out “talent” like him.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   lola bang

    Steve’s getting all better-than-thou on those people – the same people whose asses he would gladly kiss if they turned around and offered him a job. Hey, he’s not too proud, ethics be damned

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Mishee bang

    Clever!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Team Cassandra bang

    Well kiss my ass and call me home for dinner!

    I think I can feel that “large influence” all the way over here in Canada…o my…o my god…i …i…

    I think its coming this way!

    AAAAAHHGG!! Help, help! Its the large influence of a pot-bellied, balding, unemployed, illiterate man!

    HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Troy McClure bang

    #33, I love how abruptly it ends after “large influence”, like that phrase got him so excited he just had to go & jerk off in the mirror or something.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Wade bang

    WP #3 reminded me of Life Lesson #72:
    Merlot and email don’t mix

    Oct 22, 2007 at 10:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   GVI bang

    Troy, it’s like he pulled a sexual chocolate and just walked away from his pc.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Katy

    A mistake like what Steve made here with this email is something that only 25-year-olds (or younger) might make. After that first mistake, they should learn to put their P-A tendencies aside when talking to potential employers (or any employer, for that matter, current or past). The kind of overreactionary shit Steve just pulled should *not* be the actions of someone bitching about those young 25-year-old whippersnappers.

    Team Kansas City, all the way. (Although, if they’re having trouble deciding on someone, they should inform their applicants of a delay.)

    Oh and by the way…

    Those 25-year-olds were fucking delicious.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Troy McClure bang

    GVI, I’m begging you not to tell me what the hell that means.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   ALA bang

    Sadly, as I lack a clever wit, I have to go for the obvious…that ass was fucking delicious.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   GVI bang

    To bad Troy, it’s a reference to the movie Coming To America.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   raiseyourglass

    Steve,
    Sorry we did not respond promptly. You know how slow human resources can be with the hiring practices and job offers. We were very excited about accepting you as our new sales associate. However in light of the recent email you sent. We are only able to offer you the door. P.S.We hear the post office is hiring. Good luck in your future endeavors.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Dave Ward bang

    Good lord, that aggressive twit deserves to remain unemployed. A few years of standing in the soup line to get a can of creamed corn, a packet of dried milk and a loaf of stale bread might teach him a little fucking humility and respect.

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   anglophile bang

    I have a lot of interest in Steve. He sounds like the kind of pro-active, take charge kind of employee I would like to have working for me. Everyone needs someone like Steve on their team, reminding us of ethics issues, punctuality, and how to be an asshole.

    Really enjoyed this one!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   lola bang

    GVI – I got it :) Sexual Chocolate… SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!

    That Sexual Chocolate was fucking delicious

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Mishee bang

    #46 – I am pretty sure it said it was Kansas City, not Soviet Russia!

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Troy McClure bang

    Mishee, I don’t think he meant a few years for one can or corn, packet of dried milk & stale crust! (And why’s it called a “soup” line, anyway??)

    Oct 22, 2007 at 11:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Canthz_B bang

    Technically Troy, and I know you love technicalities :-) , one stands in a bread line to get into a soup kitchen. Depression Era jargon (1930′s).

    Oct 23, 2007 at 12:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Coke-aholic

    This note sounds a lot like my exhusband. These guys never can keep the jobs they do actually fake their way into. Typically they are only hired so the management can blame them when things get really bad, and then they fire them. So, he will get what is coming to him one way or another.

    And I am still laughing from the sexual chocolate reference. Classic, believe me. It made me spit my coke out all over the monitor, dammit.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Troy McClure bang

    Damn now I must see that movie.

    Coke-aholic, let us know if you have to buy a new monitor because the phosphoric acid in the Coke corrodes your old one. We’ll organise reimbursement—Rene Hall will send you a cheque.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   dicky49

    Mr. Steve :
    We have a new opening in our sales associates division and would appreciate your participation in the interview process. Your resume and references have been forwarded to the interview team seeking qualified applicants. Your quest for a long term commitment and a move to the next level could be accommodated , as long as you could exert your “large influence” on a mop handle and a broom. Please see Mr. Bates in Custodial Services to set up your interview.
    Team K.City

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   WickedLady

    What the hell’s he nagging about? So he didn’t get a response in that exact week, who cares? Thoughts like “Maybe something happened.” or “I’ll probably hear from them next week.” should come to his mind. Instead he decides to show them what a complete prick he is. Someone should teach him about patience. (And perhaps some good grammar, lol)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Katy

    IN SOVIET RUSSIA, THE CANDIDATE FIRES YOU!!!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 5:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   bisticles bang

    Digging the Fountains of Wayne reference (I think?) in the title.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 6:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Sair

    Holy mother of god… What an utter, utter wanker.

    Had an idea though – do you think maybe he was being metaphorical when he said “Some of us have a rather large influence”? Maybe his mummy told him calling it a penis in public was rude so he should call it his ‘influence’? So actually what he’s saying at the end of his email there is ‘Screw you guys, I don’t need your job, I’ve got a huge dick’?

    Just a thought…

    Oct 23, 2007 at 7:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   lambaste

    I thought maybe it was more like God wrote it (bad punctation and typos and all, God has Metratron??? to deal with such things after all), and we all know that God has rather a large influence; also he’s pretty up there with ‘relationship superiority’, or at least many of his followers are…

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   lambaste

    Or He’s pretty up there , as are many of His followers.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   lambaste

    or out there…

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Mitsu bang

    Holy crap! Talk about arrogant and conceited! I’m really glad he didn’t get the job, he doesn’t deserve it! There are too may arrogant twits at my workplace, who think they know everything, and are the greatest!
    Team K.City!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Fraulein N bang

    See, dammit, this is probably why they take forever to get back to you after an interview. They need that window of opportunity to weed out the Steves of the world.

    I dearly love that he was in the top five before he pulled this shit. That irony was fucking delicious!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   NoTeam

    Aside from the rudeness, bad grammar, and balls & ego the size of Godzilla, everyone here secretly knows how good it would feel to write something like that to the a**holes who never inform a prospective candidate that the company chose “someone more suited to our needs”. You know I’m right.

    With regards to the nerve and ego of “Steve”, he IS a salesperson – kinda goes with the territory, doesn’t it?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Doug Keaachie

    The answer is simple. He does not really want that job in the first place. He is going through the motions, probably to mollify others in his environment and, of course, himself, but as much as he needs the money (or maybe not) overall, this job is not something that turns him on.

    As soon as he realizes this, he will either stop chasing squirrels up the wrong trees, or persuade himself that actually their acorns are indeed tasty. As it is, it’s sort of a preemptive case of sour grapes.

    In varying degrees, I’ve been there, done that, myself. That’s part of what makes this funny. We all do it to some degree, in some situations. Aesop’s Notes deja voodooed again. Same stories, different milleniums.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Doug Keaachie

    Actually, that should possibly be “millenia ?”

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   GVI bang

    And my question to you Doug, is who the hell applies to a job that they do not want?

    Did you not read the note, and see that he sobotaged himself, by being an ass before he got his callback.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   jen

    Another option for when news is delayed — call me crazy,

    “Thank you for taking the time to interview me for your sales group last (week, month, year, millennium, whatev). I am following up to check on the status of your decision. I am very interested in being a part of the future growth of XYZ Co. Yadda.

    Best regards,

    A-Hole Jones”

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Anon

    Do you know how happy I would be if I was hiring and had 5 possible candidates and then got this e-mail?

    YESSSS!!!! DOWN TO FOUR!!!!

    A-hole.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Zsa

    Ah, GVI- you never been on unemployment I see.
    Prime way to milk the system into getting your $400 a week for the next 12 months is to apply to the minimum number of jobs required (something like one application a week) and then NOT get hired.
    In the freakish case when you actually get called to the interview, proceed to be a pompus ass so you do not get hired.
    Do not pass go, collect your $400

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   Doug Keaachie

    Who marries somebody they will wind up divorcing ??? Believe or not, same sort of situation.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Mishee bang

    #49 Katy – That got a definite attention getting “Office LOL” – great followup!! Still chuckling!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Mishee bang

    Sorry to post again, but I noticed the PAN God took MOST of “Me”s postings from last night down… I’m just wondering why she left a few… probably for the memories… so we can go back one day and laugh at CB.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   GhostWriter

    I have done similar, well into my 30′s. After interviewing for a management position, and being soundly rejected, the same company emailed me later to see if I had any interest in an “individual contributor” position.

    Something gets into your mind at that point. I remember penning a vitriolic note turning down their “menial” offer (which, of course, I had not yet been offered, but was fairly equivalent to the initial management position). I included comments like, “…can I expect yet another call from you when your newly-hired manager finds himself hopelessly over his/her head?

    It got me nowhere- in truth, at that point, I no longer wanted to work for them. I just wanted the satisfaction of turning them down, after they had rejected me earlier. Heck, the job was in upper Minnesota; what kind of a pale-skinned, frozen tundra, lamps from whale blubber, nearly Canadian bridge was I really burning, anyway? But as this note clearly demonstrates, the final joke is on the vengeful retorter.

    I even remember receiving a reply to my rant, including something like, “…you were one of the better candidates for the original management spot, but we filled it internally…” Looking back now, I am certain they were simply playing with me.

    But if you are going to write such a note, you have to re-read it before hitting “Send”. It’s much more classy that way.

    But

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   T-Bone

    Gordon Gecko has been recently released from Federal prison and is searching desperately for a sales position.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   Jon

    i love how he misspelled know; maybe he will also abuse those apostrophes too http://apostrophe-abuse.blogspot.com/

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   claw71

    I think grandpa got sleepy and nodded off mid-sentence.

    Hey, I apprecite the cathartic value of sending off a scorching letter either to burn a bridge or slam shut a door. It’s not going to get you anywhere in life but it feels good to get that hostility of your chest. But do it right.

    Like Jason’s poorly concieved wallow in self pity, this offering lacked any quality punch. It watered itself down with tears. Save the woe is me crap for the next Cure concert. People, if you want to tell somebody to f#ck off there’s no substitute for the orginal.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   Michelle

    Re 39: fucking humility?

    That humility was fucking delicious?

    I crack me up.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   WickedLady

    #69: Ha ha, I love those kind of things. So silly, really. This one always cracks me up too. http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/2007/10/now-no-now-now.html

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   shelly

    #7 – I had to go back and read this one a few times myself.

    Good points: #9, #38, #39, #51, #61, #62, #63, #70

    Well I was already laughing at “I guess no interest.” Okay but seriously, how many companies say ‘we’ll call you’ after an interview and never call? A lot.

    I’m puzzled by “some of us have a rather large influence.” I’m with #51 (Sair). Maybe his large influence is going to steal all the ladies from them forever. Then they’ll be sorry for not hiring him!! Haha.

    How big of an influence can he really have if he’s wasting time writing an eff-you note to a company who didn’t call him back. Shouldn’t he be busy using his influence to burn down the building?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   WickedLady

    If he burned down the building right away, they’d never know it was due to his “large influence”. Of course he had to write them a stupid email first.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   WanderingPenguin bang

    re: #59 – since you asked, Doug, it’s actually “millennia” with 2 “n”s – but only because you asked!

    #67 – you wish you were “almost Canadian”, GW. ;)

    #69 – he didn’t misspell “know”, Jon, he was trying to write “In my experience” but made a typo. Thanks for including that handy link, though, in case we “also” missed it on the right-hand panel of this very page “too”. :)

    TC – sorry to screw around with your list idea yet again!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   GhostWriter

    …but, as I was saying… wait, where was I?

    Now I remember! Ya know what’s wrong with you 25-year-olds? You ain’t got no ability! You need to invest in ability!

    That’s A as in Ability, B as in “bite you in the ass”, I as in, …in

    (zzzznktt!)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 12:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   anglophile bang

    When he says “some of us have a rather large influence,” does he mean some of his alternate personalities, or was this a group-hire sort of situation?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 12:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   Mishee bang

    Ahhh! #51 almost slipped by me! I’ve missed you! “Utter wanker” – A new one for the archives!! :)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 12:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   KarenLW

    I still feel like there should have been more to the letter. There’s something missing. What comes after his “rather large influence” ?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   fah-q

    steve would have been better off using some ebonics, “yo yo yo, word to yo momz beyatches, i got da mad skillz 2 throw down wit da game. i be mackin’ da ho’s, and bustin’ phat rhymes up in dis motherf@#ka.”
    sadly, steve’s rap is mad weak.
    yo!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   fah-q

    sorry, didnt notice that i had a different name on this computer, i posted yesterday as lou zurr.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   TeeHee

    I think this might be my ex, lol.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   GVI bang

    Huh?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   GVI bang

    Oh damn, #83 was in response to #80.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   shelly

    Wicked Lady (#74) you’re right. He can’t just not tell anyone about his massive influence.

    And i’m with KarenLW… it looks like something is definitely missing from this email. Did they blur our the signature, or was there no closing to it whatsoever?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   shelly

    fah-q (#80) : LOL thanks for the laugh.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 2:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Team Cassandra bang

    O silly Penguin! Lists are for EVERYONE!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   WickedLady

    I’ll bet he tells about his massive influence to as many people as possible, thinking they’re stupid enough to believe him, so he can take over the world and force everybody to direct their commitment energy towards the sales processes. That sneaky bastard…

    Oct 23, 2007 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   fah-q

    thanks shelly, that laugh is what i was looking for.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 2:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   Team Cassandra bang

    Hey – lou zurr! fah-q! Just pick one!

    (tee hee – the teeny ten year old boy that lives in the back of my brain is running loose again.)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   lou zurr

    im sorry, i just cant seem to pick one. which do you suggest?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   anglophile bang

    #91, how about Ima Dorc?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   T. D.

    So Jason is still out looking for a job I see.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Canthz_B bang

    I’m for Team fah-q…very inventive and expressive. :-)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   Mishee bang

    CB introduced me to I. Feltersnatch last night… that’s a good name lou/fah (lol, or you could call yourself loufah! you are kinda abrasive!)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Canthz_B bang

    And yet sooo spongy! LOL

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   Team Cassandra bang

    Wow. How come CB never introduced *me* to I. Felthersnatch?!?

    I would have hooked him up with Sheila Filgud:)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   Team Cassandra bang

    PS. Team Loufah!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   Canthz_B bang

    She’d just better! :-P

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   WickedLady

    Lou Zurr is a great name, better than fah-q, although that’s a good one too. But bringing out the best of both worlds, and combining them to form Loufah is the best choice if you ask me. You get a brand new, cool name AND we’ll always be remembered of the two names you once had.. (sentiment lol)

    Team Loufah FTW!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   Mishee bang

    I actually did as I told you I would last night CB and I signed it in the sign in book this morning at work.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   Mishee bang

    Wow, I feel special that my invention has been such a crowd pleaser, and now I know that people actually do read my posts! LOL!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   Canthz_B bang

    Kool Mishee!
    Anyone notice?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 3:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Mishee bang

    I haven’t found out yet – usually when they see a name I’ve written (like Amanda Huginkiss… my favorite) they cross it out… I still wonder if they call those names out loud like a Dr. office….

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   Canthz_B bang

    Like good old Dick Burns?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   Canthz_B bang

    Or Peter Hurtz?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   Canthz_B bang

    Common…don’t tell me Gina Leeks is not here!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Mishee bang

    Hugh Jass is a great one also…

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   Mishee bang

    Mike Rotch, Al Coholic, Oliver Clothesoff, I.P. Freely, Jacques Strap, Seymour Butz, Homer Sexual, Bea O’Problem, Ivana Tinkle, Maya Buttreeks, Eura Snotball, Ollie Tabooger, Heywood U. Cuddleme, Ahmed Adoodie are some of the best… Thank you http://www.snpp.com

    Oct 23, 2007 at 4:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   Canthz_B bang

    Those are all great ones!
    Mine, we used for substitute teachers who had to do roll call. After repeating the name twice they’d say Who’s Dick Burns (or whichever name was used) and we would cry out in unison…”MINE DOES”!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 5:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   WickedLady

    Haha, omg! You guys are hilarious. I’ll to go sleep with a HUGE smile on my face. I’m still laughing. Great names, lol.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   WanderingPenguin bang

    Thanks, TC. I’ll use the permission for good and not for evil!

    Wait, I can’t promise that…. ;)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 5:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Clarissa

    I’m not gonna read all the previous comments (sorry, bedtime for me), I’d just like to say:

    That kind of email/follow up is…. well maybe not “typical”, but not un-expected from the type of candidate that companies tend to go for, and it PISSES ME OFF!
    They tend to favour people who are full of themselves and can sell themselves well – no wonder those are likely to react like that (even if their spelling and punctuation is below par, and they’re basically complete arseholes, and often unable to perform). The fact that this guy was “among the top 5 before this email” totally underlines that point.

    Bitter? Me? Never.

    Signed,

    Not-team-anyone, they’re all cunts.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 6:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   Canthz_B bang

    #113, I majored in Human Resources Management in college…It is a MUST that you sell yourself in an interview…the follow-up letter should be thankful in nature.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 7:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   GhostWriter

    Harry Cox!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 7:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   Canthz_B bang

    It’s the combination of confidence and humility that wins the day.
    Free advice that I paid thousands for. :-)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 7:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   Team Cassandra bang

    I always knew her as Ivana Huginkiss but maybe Amanda is her sister.

    and I’m so surprised Michael Hunt is not up there.

    I’d love to do a list but I’m SO tired….maybe tomorrow…

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   Horkin Chunks

    What a douche. The unfortunate thing is that to be professional the employer has to be cool and not respond.

    Oh and my favorite is Howe Jalykakik

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Mishee bang

    Damn! I forgot Michael Hunt – but I have signed it in the book once about a month ago.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   hugh g. rection

    did any say my name?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   Mishee bang

    LOL

    Oct 23, 2007 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   Team Cassandra bang

    No – we were talking about Matt Hitz and and Phil McCracken:)

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   Ivan Chusobad bang

    Parents must be morons to give their kids names like that!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   Canthz_B bang

    Phil McCracken is new to me TC…Thanx 4 that 1.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   Canthz_B bang

    Also liked Hugh G. Rection.
    Is anyone else here 13 years old besides me?! LOL

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   Canthz_B bang

    Sounds kinda gay, but what happens when Hugh G. Rection meets Hugh Jass?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   Troy McClure bang

    Not to put the “mofo” in “homophobia”, but, you’ve heard of the very close Irish friends Morris FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzMorris?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   Canthz_B bang

    Mish…Does Mike Hunt work better here?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   Canthz_B bang

    ROTFLMAO TROY!!! :-D

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   Canthz_B bang

    G’nite thread, time for me to pull up a pillow and head to the netherworld.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 9:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   Life With Buck

    I’m nervous about what he may no about 25 year olds. If he uses his large influence, things could get bad.

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   Troy McClure bang

    Yeah, is he talking about carnal noledge? 25 year old “kids” would get most people there, wouldn’t they?

    Oct 23, 2007 at 10:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   Hugh Johnson

    Someone has influence envy! Poor Wanker!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   Hugh Johnson

    Hold the phone. I meant that about the note. First time comment!

    Oct 23, 2007 at 11:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   Hugh Johnson

    Troy if you could, you wouldn’t leave the house!
    Sorry to hear about your lack of companionship!

    Oct 24, 2007 at 12:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   Canthz_B bang

    No one gets to detention hall based on that Hugh! LOL :-;

    Oct 24, 2007 at 12:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   Canthz_B bang

    You all need to be blessed by Father Feltme.

    Oct 24, 2007 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   Hugh Johnson

    Father Feltme? Those responsible have been sacked! Damn Lama lovers! Please excuse the ICEHOUSE involved in my ranting!

    Oct 24, 2007 at 1:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   Troy McClure bang

    Hugh, are you, by any chance, a Markovian text generator?

    Oct 24, 2007 at 3:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Troy McClure bang

    ICEHOUSE = “Incomprehensible Comments, Each Having Obscure & Ulterior Sense, & Exclamationmark”?

    Oct 24, 2007 at 3:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   claw71 bang

    IRL=Infected Rectum Laceration

    It’s what happens after Hugh G. Rection meets Hugh Jass.

    URL=Ugly Rental Llamas

    Why people don’t go to Ecuador anymore.

    Oct 24, 2007 at 6:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   Team Cassandra bang

    Father Feltme….wasn’t he the guy working with those advocacy kids…?…you know…Ima Badun and Ivan Tufhite and those guys….

    Oct 24, 2007 at 8:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   RP

    No, no, no! The employer should DEFINITELY reply and let him know that he was one of the top five. It would be awesome if the e-mail could include a link to this site but it’d probably result in this jerk trying to sue them or something.

    Oct 24, 2007 at 2:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   Gadget

    I’m with #57 No Team. You know you’ve wanted to drop a note like that here and there! :) Same thoughts on sales as well…..

    Oct 24, 2007 at 2:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   claw71 bang

    Gadget: Are you fucking kidding me? This note sucks. So did Jason’s parting shot. I want Steve’s address so I can send him a set of balls.

    If you want to burn a bridge do it with napalm not the free matches they hand out at night clubs.

    Oct 24, 2007 at 5:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   NotJobs: a bright future in sales | NotJobs - How NOT to Get a Job

    [...] must see Steve’s entire ego-filled e-mail, as delivered by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. Steve was one of the top five candidates [...]

    Oct 31, 2013 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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