Come get some

October 26th, 2007 · 148 comments

Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”

I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its [sic] trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some.

Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”

FILED UNDER: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels


148 responses so far ↓

  • #1   melanie

    I’m not even going to say it because sometimes you have to le a joke rest to retain its humor, right?

    mmppfffhhhh!

    Team Don’t Leave Your Laundry Unattended, Especially in the Wee Hours of the Morning

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:37 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   melanie

    *let

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Brian

    Team towel stealer!

    If they were left taking up space for 5 hours they deserve to be taken.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Patrick

    Those towels were fucking delicious…

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:39 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Pinkeh

    Those towels were delicious!

    Um….

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Mishee bang

    Dammit Patrick, you beat me to it! Oh well… this reminds me of that other one where the writer said they would never be comfortable doing their laundry again! LOL!

    And we all know what high quality towels Kohls has….

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Dj Tenn.

    Her spelling , grammar & punctuation scream college student.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   gcfh

      cracka i bet ur white, arent u?

      Sep 11, 2008 at 12:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Lisa

    When I was in college, I moved into my dorm room early one year to do newspaper staff training and put out the first issue before the rest of the students returned to school. I did a load of whites in the community laundry room, and when I went to put the load into the dryer, I discovered that a black pen (not mine!) had been left in the washer and subsequently exploded in the spin cycle. Two PSAs appeared in the newspaper that week: “Check your pockets before you wash its.” and “Spots are in.”

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Mitsu bang

    lol, this is too much! I don’t think the thief deserves to die, they’re just towels! The point is, that you have to keep an eye on your laundry when you live in an apartment building!
    Team don’t Leave Your Laundry Unattended!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Mitsu bang

    Come get some? What the hell?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   sweavo

    That’s not even slightly passive abbout its aggressive, that is a top rant. Team kick-the-thieves’-asses FTW.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Kevin

    You deserve to DIE? For stealing towels? People have no sense of perspective. I love the “trifling” comment, indicative of ghetto bitches everywhere.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:46 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Troy McClure bang

    We 4th floor Slottman residents are wet; do you know why?
    Some cretin, some noctural fuck, some loser strolling by,
    Trifled with our manchester, took what he did not buy.
    If you steal our fucking towels you deserve to die!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:50 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   MasterTwisted

    I hope to hear about the ass-kicking on the 11:00 o’clock news.

    “Tonight, there was an assault in a local dormitory. It appears the victim was whipped and beaten unconscious by attackers wielding towels. No one has been charged, but the police have leads.

    And now for the weather…”

    Team fuck-the-thieves-up.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Troy McClure bang

    Wow, I just noticed that the note’s in comic sans, isn’t it? Hardly a font to strike terror into the hearts of the guilty.

    “Can you imagine what it would feel like, to get way, way too dry? You don’t want to know. And I don’t know.”

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   heisa

    it’s hard to be intimidated by a note written in comic sans.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   betty'sworry

    #13 a noctural is when you take a doctorate in night-time activities, no doubt? :-)

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   spook

    Comic Sans FTW!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   betty'sworry

    Sorry, it’s just tickled my funny bone, so I’ll talk to myself for a while. “Well, my doctoral thesis was on linguistics, but my noctural thesis – well, that’s another matter”

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Katy

    Is anyone else disturbed that this person purposefully mentions wiping between their legs with the towels?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:45 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   lou fah

    those crotch rubbed towels were fuckin’ delicious. wait, that didnt come out like i meant.
    i meant they were tasty . . . . uh, awesome . . . nevermind.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Strideo

    U have got 2 B kidding me! Who would steel towals btwn the hours of 3 and 8am? And ass kicking is needed here!

    Oh good grief.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Liz

    Towels are pretty expensive, especially if you are in college…but I wouldn’t consider that a crime punishable by death. I think the fact that they now know that they have used a ‘btwn the legs’/crotch towel possibly on their face is punishment enough.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   lou fah

    maybe they were stolen because they were crotch rubbed.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   DonkeyCock

    Sounds like the chick may have had an admirer who knew that she wiped between her legs with those towels. Go team towel sniffer.

    On a side note… this chick must think that whatever is between her legs is pretty ranuchy…

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:50 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Mrs L Carrot

    If the towels were stolen by blokes, which is a dead cert because they probably used theirs to swab down an engine or left them, one by one, at the gym, never to be found, then saying you’ve wiped between your legs with them is asking to have any remaining towels you possess stolen in the next wash… with your bras, pants and possibly, if you are the kind of person who possesses any, your sports kit…

    Cheers

    Mrs L Carrot

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Mishee bang

    I don’t know about you, but wasn’t she WASHING the towels? Therefore, the towels must have been at least clean (I don’t know anyone who just drops their dirty laundry off at the washers and walks away… no, you at least put them in the wash first!) – does she think she is so nasty (I agree with #25) that even after it’s been through the wash it’s still gross? And she plans to use it again on her clean body after a shower? She is NASTY!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   WanderingPenguin bang

    Hey! Where is “4th Floor Slottman” because I want some, too!

    I have to agree with #3 Brian, though: if you leave your laundry in a machine for 5 hours without checking on it I think you takes yer chances. I used to hate it when, in my old apartment building with one laundry room containing three washers and three dryers, some “crotch wiper” would put a load in and leave it there long after the machine had finished.

    Do your laundry, collect it when it’s done and get the hell out of the way.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   WanderingPenguin bang

    And FTR, why are we all so certain that this note was left by a female? Because no “guy” would buy towels from Kohl’s? Hey, I wipe between my legs too! :)

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Mishee bang

    WP, I’m thinking it’s a girl because of the “Cute Text Talk” and the Comic Sans… all it needs now is a pink pen penis drawing…

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Mitsu bang

    I think that advertising that she wiped between her legs with the towels, and then signing off as “come get some” just makes her sound like a big slut!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Mitsu bang

    Then again, maybe it was intentionally meant to sound that way!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   todd

    it’s a bit counter-intuitive to say someone is nasty for using a towel that has been between the owner’s legs. doesn’t that mean she’s accusing her nether region of being nasty? i mean come on…might as well call yourself a slut.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   GVI bang

    Is a fucking towel anything like a fucking wall??

    Also, what the hell does she have growing between her legs, that even after washing her towel it still lives?

    But mabe the person knew she had disgusting towels and took them to be cleaned by a professional.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   GVI bang

    *maybe*

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Juliet bang

    Why can’t this person write out the word ‘between’?

    What amazes me is that someone hasn’t drawn a penis on it yet.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Wade bang

    I wonder how they plan on identifying their towels.

    rocket pubes embedded in the pima cotton?

    :P

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Mishee bang

    I’m surprised she didn’t say “cum get sum” – I can’t stand people who use text talk OUTSIDE of texting.

    The reason it’s like that is so you can get more words in one message, and type it quicker. Text talk has NO PLACE being used on a keyboard or in MS Word!

    Team Learn to Spell, Grow up and Use Your Words!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   claw71

    Deserve to die for a trifling offense? A tad dramatic, no?

    Somehow I’m not intimidated by prissy little Berkley boys with plush towels from Kohls.

    Clearly the “top” wrote this note because the “bottom” was too distraught over how purchasing new towels would throw off his decorating theme.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Katzndogz bang

    Maybe the towels were stolen from the bathroom, and the note-writer put the note in the laundry room because that’s the only place to put notes. Plus, if someone steals a dirty towel from a bathroom, theoretically they’ll be taking it to the laundry room to wash it before they use it.

    On the other hand, maybe she thinks its nasty to use other people’s towels, even if they have been washed. Think about it, would you wear underwear that belonged to someone else, even if it is washed?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Manick

    Never mind stealing towels between 3 and 8 am, who the hell washes them at that time of night. What had they been doing?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   WanderingPenguin bang

    I am a bit disappointed that nobody posted the http://www.m-w.com/ link yet. Obviously, the letter writer needs to look up the word “trifling” so they can use it contextually in a sentence that doesn’t include the words “deserve to die”.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   WanderingPenguin bang

    Ohh…. I guess that’s what Claw said already. I missed it. :(

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Black Bellamy

    For all those folks who are like omg it’s just towels, I would like them to know that I am exactly the kind of person who would throttle them by the fucking neck, consequences be damned, if I ever caught them with my clothing, bedsheets, or towels.

    Some things are inviolate and deserve the harshest reprisal.

    Team come get some!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 12:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Eric C

    I’m still appalled that such a poorly-written note came out of what’s allegedly one of our finest public universities.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 12:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Lindsay

    Dj Tenn: the way you phrased your comment makes it sound like you think all college students can’t spell or write. What makes you so high and mighty that you’re above that? Just because you aren’t in college doesn’t mean people that are are stupid. I’m a college student and cringe when I see such horrible writing. And no I’m not an english major. Watch what you say because I can bet that a lot of college students are much smarter than you are. Granted, there are sometimes some pretty stupid people that somehow make it into college, but that’s definitely not the norm.

    Also, on an unrelated note, just because somebody leaves their laundry in a machine for 5 hours doesn’t mean you should steal their stuff. Just take it out and put it on top of the machine or on a counter or something. Come on people. Getting your shit stolen sucks.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 12:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Life With Buck

    I don’t get it, were the towels lying around with dirty crotch germs on them? And if so, why?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   lou fah

    i done got me one of dem kollage papers (they called it a masters degree, you’ns no whut that means!) that sez dat i gone too skool long enuf, i got it down here in the souf, down in ol’ dixie, and imn plen-t smart fer mi own gud.
    i likes dem crotch rubbed towles if they is dun rubbed by a gal (knot 2 closely related), butt if’n it is one of the guy fellers, then i dont like them as gud, or nun @all.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 12:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   T-Bone

    ‘Roid rage, man.

    If the towel-snatcher accepts the invite and wants to “come get some” at the 4th floor, will there be a shoot-out at the Slottman Corral? Super!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   WanderingPenguin bang

    Well, Lindsay, perhaps his/her stuff wasn’t stolen at all. Perhaps other people in the dorm are fed up with this person always hogging washers and dryers for hours on end, so they took the towels out and put them elsewhere to teach them a lesson. Perhaps this person eventually found the towels and took his/her own note down without leaving an “oops” note in its place.

    The kind of person that would write this type of note – complete with text-speak and typos – seems to me to be exactly the kind of person who would do all of the above: a lazy, inconsiderate, early-20s boor – which is not to say that all of you are the same… but plenty are.

    Does that make you feel better? ;)

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   DonkeyCock

    Black Bellamy got a little light bulb going off over my head….

    Maybe this chick is Black… the use of the word “trifling” and the comment being backed up by another Black person intrigues me…

    Is it taboo to use another person’s towel in the Black community? I’m talking about within the same family and what not… Can a brother and a sister use the same towel or does everybody have their own???

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   carmelo-rules

    hello, its us the towels, we wanted everyone to know we were not stolen. we ran away! not one of us towels ever enjoyed being rubbed against a smelly unwashed taint! when the 4th floor slottmans decide to wash, we shall decide to return! team runaway towels for life!!!!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Towlie

    She only mentioned wiping between her legs to gross out the thief. I doubt she really thinks she’s that nasty.

    Come on people, think…

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Zsa

    I’ve been to a big university and have met PLENTY of stupid students- hello? can you say athletic scholarship?

    and yes, having your stuff stolen sucks. But leaving your towels in the laundry for 5 hours-even in the middle of the night- is like leaving the keys in your car overnight. Asking for tourble

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Zsa

    or Trouble… although tourbles ARE trouble

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   WanderingPenguin bang

    You’re the worst mascot ever, Towlie!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   lola bang

    Towel stealing is necessarily punishable by death, BUT the type of people who would steal towels are typically lowlifes and deserve, at the very least, some prison or straight-jacket time.

    As I mentioned a few weeks back, I had a load of jeans stolen before they had even finished washing. That was every pair of jeans I owned at the time. What kind of scuzzball sees laundry as an opportunity to “shop” for clothes/towels? WTF is wrong with them???

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   lola bang

    oops, meant “isn’t”

    Oct 26, 2007 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   Wade bang

    Towelie may have a point, because any bath towel used to dry one’s person would have to eventually be used between the legs.

    Unless the owner suffers from petsetaphilia, the need to use towels to acheive arousal. This might explain the desperate threats of death to the thief, as well as the descriptive adjective in the first sentence.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   bedders bang

    notice of solicitation for prostitution?

    whoever stole her “fucking towels”

    these must be the towels she uses for the express purpouse of fucking,therfore clearing up the wiping between the legs part of the rant.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   claw71

    T-Bone:

    It won’t be a shoot-em-up but a towel snapping melee. Ironically the towel snatcher will find himself at a disadvantage because plush towels simply don’t have any pop to them…even if they are slathered in scrotum sweat.

    In my experience those thin olive drab rags they substitute for towels in the military are the best. They don’t soak up much water but they feature low drag and break skin.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Natalee

    Hey Towlie,

    Wanna get high?

    Team I Wanna See A Bitch Fight Go Down!!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Wade bang

    Maybe (and this is a stretch) the owner(s) are Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fans, and are mortified that they have been caught without a towel.

    Or the theives are getting an early start on Towel Day:

    http://www.towelday.kojv.net/

    Don’t Panic.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   tuppins bang

    Hey…ZSA…not all people on athletic scholarships are stupid…just like not all people on academic based scholarships are pasty nerds who think they are better than everyone else. Twit.

    I had plenty of stuff stolen out of washing machines in my time and only once did I see my stuff in someone else’s laundry…in fact…it was my towels. The idiot had lined through my name on the towel with marker and wrote his. I think he thought it was funny. I cut open the crotch of every one of his pants in the pile. Now that was funny.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   s

    something about this makes me love it.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   todd

    Dear Wade,
    Your reference of HGG makes me happy in the pants. Hurry, someone get me a towel before I make a mess!

    Too late.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 2:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   GhostWriter

    So here’s what happened: Feral Notewriter forgot which dryer her towels were in. At 3am, she was still half-drunk anyway. Up goes her note, and the next day, Berkeley frosh Scooter plops his clothes into the very same dryer.

    Then, the Avenging SheMonster peeks into the laundry room, just as Jeremy empties the dryer.
    Hilarity ensues, as a fast-forward Benny Hill-style chase scene commences.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 3:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Zsa

    Hey Mishee… join me over here for a sec- I cant log in

    Oct 26, 2007 at 4:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Zsa

    I said a bad work in my last post and it got edited and they logged me off.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #70   Zsa

    uh- bad WORD. If I got edited for bad WORK- I’d be outta work eating cat food!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 4:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   Zsa

    I have to go to another computer (while at work) to log in. Too much sensitive data for me to log into anything while *ahem* working. apparently I can post and view the site- just not log in

    Oct 26, 2007 at 4:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   T-Bone

    Claw, you always make me laugh. An olive-drab, military-issue, thin towel-snappin’ melee at the Slottman Corral!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 4:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Potbelly

    I’m late and this note is great but I gotta say, as an apartment dweller, people who saunter down to collect their laundry any old time instead of being there when the cycle ends deserve no sympathy, as they are the ones who leave me the uncomfortable task of removing someone else’s laundry from the machine so I can get my own damn laundry done. Unless the towels were stolen from a running machine, I say a valuable lesson lies in the act.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 5:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   Mishee bang

    I’m here now Zsa – I was at lunch…. that sucks! It makes me wonder what word you said!!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 5:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Lara bang

    I’m on Team Kill the Towel Thieves.

    It’s hell to live in a building where you have to either wait 4 hours for a dryer or move someone else’s underwear around.

    Get in, get out, and realize you’re not the only humans on earth!

    And ass kicking is too good for them!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 5:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   Joe Blow

    There’s no need to *steal* the towels, but if they’re going to leave them in the dryer overnight, throwing them in filthy places is perfectly acceptable. I would have simply taken the note, corrected all of the horrible spelling/grammar, and put it back up.

    And, even though the towels are assumedly clean at that point, I wouldn’t want to actually take them. But a ransom sample would have been nice to include..

    Oct 26, 2007 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   Lara bang

    Oooh, I love the idea of holding the offending dryer-hogging laundry for ransomk, releasing small pieces of towel at a time.

    Truly beautifully evil, Joe Blow!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   will

    If you’ve got time to write and print a letter, then you have time to write out the word “you”. Until you do, fuck you…no towels for you.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 6:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #79   Lara bang

    Don’t you mean “fuck U”?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 6:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #80   skeezycheeses

    Come get some? Hopefully they’re referring to non-crotch wiped clean towels.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 6:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #81   JenB

    When I was living in the dorms, someone stole all my roomates Victoria Secret undies from the laundry room… CREEPY!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 6:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #82   GVI bang

    Those panties smelled fucking delicious.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 7:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #83   Anon 2

    I’m with Joe Blow. Throw the fucking things in the dirt if they were left behind for too long.

    I lived in a complex with only one washer and one dryer (there used to be 2 of each, but the building manager moved 1 set into his own apartment). People who left their clothes in the washer and/or dryer were the bane of my existence. The WORST were those who were SO eager to get their clothes into the wash that they would take mine out before my wash cycle was complete and then not come back for 4 friggin’ hours to move their shit. I’d pour a little booze (something stinky like whiskey) over their still wet clothes and hope that they wouldn’t notice until it had all gone through the dryer.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 7:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #84   dawn bang

    I have plush Turkish bath sheets, and I would totally kick someone’s ass for taking them; however, I would not use Comic Sans to type up my grocery list, let alone a threatening note. Therefore, I have no choice but to be Team People Who Leave Their Laundry In A Public Facility Unattended Deserve Whatever They Get.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 8:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #85   Troy McClure bang

    Betty, the way I spell worries you.
    Take a look round, I encourage you,
    e.g., did you see
    the non-word ‘ranuchy’?
    Why me alone is it you persecute??

    Oct 26, 2007 at 8:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #86   brinkofacomplex bang

    I’m not picking a side on this one. Ms. Towels can’t write and used Comic Sans, which is almost as bad as stealing towels anyway.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 8:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #87   Mishee bang

    I mean, I have no allegiance to it, but why is Comic Sans so evil??

    Oct 26, 2007 at 8:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #88   betty'sworry

    #86, note the time of this post,
    the first was not
    to persercute,
    had to go to bed
    rest my head
    and read the rest in the (my) morning.

    Oh, did not notice ‘ranuchy’, and I don’t know if it reminds me enough of another word to have a bit of fun with it (other than the word it should remind me of which is probably fun enough).

    Oct 26, 2007 at 8:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #89   morpho aurora bang

    i doubt anyone took her towels to use them. when someone got tired of waiting for this inconsiderate little twit to move her stuff, they probably just moved it for her. i think i would have bundled it all up and dumped it in the dumpster behind the nastiest bar in the area.
    leaving her crotch cleaning fucking towels sitting around for 5 hours? sounds like she is the one that needs an ass kicking.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 8:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #90   Troy McClure bang

    Hi Betty, no worries, I was just kidding around. I wish I could think of anything to do with `ranuchy’ but seem out of luck.

    Mishee, comic sans is okay but, firstly, it’s badly overused, and secondly, it only ever was appropriate when you were going for that “hey, relax, let’s just have fun with this” sort of feel. So, screen titles for home movies about pet dogs, & such like. Not death threats.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #91   WanderingPenguin bang

    Well, there’s always this site http://bancomicsans.com/home.html for more information.

    Or you could, you know, just click on the second link down on the right-hand side of this page, under “Blogroll”.

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #92   Mishee bang

    Thank you for clearing that up for me everyone! What would I do without you fellow PANners? :D Happy Friday Night!

    Oct 26, 2007 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #93   betty'sworry

    As was I, Troy McClure, and now I know it’s way too late elsewhere, and I’m typing to myself – but don’t I know you from such films as “The boatjacking of Supership 79″, and “Hydro, the Man with Hydraulic Arms”? If anyone can handle a neologism of note being noted, surely it’s you? Or maybe Purser Cutes would be more up to the task. Must go and finish assignment… :-)

    Oct 26, 2007 at 10:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #94   Troy McClure bang

    Betty, you’re not typing to yourself; it’s 1pm here. But stop the planet of the japes, I want to get off! Not really. But are you sure you need me, if you’re going to make fun of your own typos?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #95   Mishee bang

    Betty, I think you are right! I seem to remember him from such films as: “Gladys The Groovy Mule”, “Meet Joe Blow” (that’s for you #77), and the unforgettable “The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel” (which Troy also directed)…

    Can I get your autograph Troy?

    Oct 26, 2007 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #96   Mishee bang

    Troy, as Men at Work so eloquently put it -
    You come from a land down under,
    Where beer does flow and men chunder
    Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
    You better run, you better take cover

    I don’t want a booting, so I don’t think I will ever find you there!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 12:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #97   betty'sworry

    I just had a ‘Love Boat’ moment, re: the Purser Cutes, but I didn’t really know where to take it. There was also, per se, cute, per se . . . but that might have been contra hived. The whole post is probably contra-something, anyway. I’ll just check with Reagan, and get back to you. Contravenes, that’s what he tells me, the post contravenes the laws of common sense.

    Mishee, re: Men at Work, they had that song on “Scrubs”, “Overkill” (I am on a t.v. theme at the moment), and maybe that is where this post is heading, too.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #98   Dj Tenn.

    See, this is how school shootings get started over bullshit like this.
    “u fuckin deserve to die” for a towel theft?

    I hope this person doesnt pursue a career in
    hotel / motel ownership. Were fucked.

    Dont leave yo shit unattended unless the machine is locked in use.
    Bring a book, ipod whatever, sit it out. …

    People are triflin & will steal. Dont get sloppy and let em.

    A nations leaders are its moral & social compass , so hey, anything goes. … RIGHT? RIGHT?

    In the hood , Ive had people come up to my clothes in the dryer & start takin em out, Im lik e , uhm, excuse me, thats my clothes… oh .. sorry ,right, wrong dryer…. yeah riiite…

    Come Get some, is this ghetto or not? I cant tell if its just an mtv wigga frontin or if its truly ” whats really hood, bitch”?

    Mopping somebody else’s towels on the same floor kinda does beg you to get caught though.
    Karma’s real…

    ps. everyone “wipes down there” with that towel, mmkay?”

    Oct 27, 2007 at 2:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #99   Troy McClure bang

    Everyone is so much more forthcoming with the McClure quotes. I don’t deserve this pseudonym!

    Mishee, that guy from Men at Work was on TV here a week or two ago, doing one of those “where are they now” style interviews on a talkshow. I saw the promo, & was vaguely thinking I might try to catch it, but didn’t. (We used to listen to Men at Work on the school bus when I was a kid in Massachusetts, when I little knew I’d end up living here.)

    Oct 27, 2007 at 7:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #100   Mishee bang

    betty, love that acoustic version of overkill from scrubs so much when I first saw that episode (first time I heard the song too) I went right to my iTunes and bought it… and there is no such thing as “Overkill” in PAN.com!!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #101   betty'sworry

    “That guy” = Colin Hayes – has a great voice. I knew that song (“Overkill) back in the day, along with “Who can it be now?”, ” Be Good Johnny”.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #102   betty'sworry

    The inverted commas got outta hand…

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #103   Mishee bang

    It’s all good – we are all guilty of comma abuse once in a while

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #104   Mishee bang

    Troy, you realize your last comment dated you. Your mysterioso is fading!! :) (I am thinking mysterioso is like bemusion)

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #105   bettysworry bang

    Cheers, Mishee.
    Look, gained an exclamation mark, lost a possessive apostrophe.
    Mysteriosity – mixture of mysterious and curiousity?

    Oct 27, 2007 at 9:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #106   dawn bang

    Mishee #88: Troy and WP have already given you a general idea, but I wanted to add that my own problem with Comic Sans is that, like Flat Brush, Harlow, any Gothic font, and many other overly used gimmick fonts, it is best used (if at all) as an accent (think headings or captions or something like that) – not for entire blocks of text. Now, I’m not saying that everything should be typed in plain vanilla Times Roman (I prefer Book Antiqua or even Bangle as my standard font), but a page full of fancy fonts screams “AMATEUR”.

    I fully admit to being a design snob – even when it comes to death threats.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 9:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #107   Mishee bang

    I am an arial narrow girl myself. Can’t STAND Times New Roman – but, I do like to use Andy every once in a while, since it’s the closest to The Simpsons font you can get. But that’s only for fun stuff because it’s not the most readable font at times.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 9:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #108   Troy McClure bang

    Damn, Betty, I was going to suggest “mysteriosity”. Who would have thought I’d get beaten to that?

    Where are you, anyway? Relatively nearby? (I’m in Sydney if you hadn’t gathered.)

    Oct 27, 2007 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #109   Lara bang

    Those serifs were fucking delicious!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #110   tweedle

    Phantom plush terry trifler swiped
    The selfsame towels that had been “wiped
    Between my legs wih those towels! U”
    Would-be ass kicker,
    Death dealer–
    The gods extract
    Their due in ways mysterios (o) to me and

    Guess who?!

    P.S. Check the extractor for your towels.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 3:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #111   tweedle

    Coke-a-holic — that’s not a haiku, so we’re kool, right? : )

    And in fact I’ve never haikued here on PAN — but don’t ask where some of my comments have been!
    .

    Oct 27, 2007 at 3:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #112   Sara

    Team gonorrhea!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #113   Erinersss

    I would have said the towels were fucking delicious, but since you added that tidbit about wiping in between your legs…

    Oct 27, 2007 at 5:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #114   tweedle

    “…when the rocket ships all fall,
    and the bridges they all buckle,
    and everybody’s packin’ up their station wagons…”

    Words to a song called Between My Legs — seemed on-topic, if only just.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 6:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #115   Troy McClure bang

    Tweedle, it’s Poe-type, definitely. You can tell by the phantom.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 7:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #116   Mishee bang

    tweedle, your post made me think… I wonder if this towel is so gross because it has rocket pubes all over it?

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #117   Coke-aholic

    Why thank you Tweedle for that lovely poem. I only said no haiku because haikus are so boring.

    I promise I didn’t spit Coke at my monitor, ’cause I didn’t want to make you mad!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #118   Wade

    well, now that rocket pubes have been referenced twice in 24 hours, maybe a new note is in order, lol.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #119   Zsa bang

    NEW note! NEW note!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 10:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #120   A.A guy

    Rocket Pubes;

    A Bradbury-John production

    Oct 27, 2007 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #121   GVI bang

    Let’s riot until we get a new note.

    Oct 27, 2007 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #122   REDCLOUD bang

    ummm what’s a manchester?

    Oct 27, 2007 at 11:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #123   REDCLOUD bang

    oh and yeah i wonder how many other cratch rubbed towels the theif has stolen. maybe instead of stealing them, they ought to just go around licking balls, that way it’s twice the pleasure!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 11:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #124   Team Cassandra bang

    Lewis Carroll!!!

    Oct 27, 2007 at 11:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #125   Team Cassandra bang

    O yeah – Poe. Sorry, its late.

    TREBUCHET!

    but also (especially for notes like this):

    COPPERPLATE GOTHIC!

    Oct 28, 2007 at 1:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #126   Team Cassandra bang

    Who can it be that came and took my towel?
    U are nasty, how could u be so foul?
    Don’t u know what I used that to wipe?
    U should know – and u should also know I’m ripe:0
    All I wanted was my towels dry
    U did it now – I’m gonna make you cry,
    My roomie and I are home at 4 from class
    Come get some – we’re gonna kick your ass!

    Who can it be now?
    Who can it be now?
    Who can it be now?
    Who can it be now?

    um, Colin Hay.

    Oct 28, 2007 at 1:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #127   Troy McClure bang

    GVI, my impression is that the PAN god rests on the sixth and seventh day. Riot all you want though! By the way I want your advice about something but maybe I’ll ask you later.

    Redcloud, in department stores in some parts of the Anglosphere, “manchester” means towels, bedsheets, blankets, duvets (=doonas=comforters=probably a gajillion other names) and that type of carry-on.

    TC, you rock.

    Oct 28, 2007 at 2:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #128   bettysworry bang

    Hey Team Cassandra, I thought Colin Hay might like the extra ‘e’ in the way the English in Ireland attached any extra ‘e’ to their ‘Smith’ to differentiate them from the common rabble, and then threw in a ‘y’ to replace the ‘i’ (that’s why Colin Hay got the ‘e’ and the ‘s’). I don’t know if any of that is historically correct, but what the Hay… oh, I crack me up.

    Troy McClure, #111, I am from Perth, so a couple of hours and many light years behind Sydney. Also lived for a while in NZ. However, you may know me from a post I did under the name of ‘lambaste’. The computer wouldn’t send me a password, so I changed monikers.

    Tweedle, your poem is most mysterioso, or at least plush in imagery.

    Can’t get the comp to do the quotation marks the right way around on the ‘s’, any tips?

    Oct 28, 2007 at 4:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #129   Troy McClure bang

    Hi Betty, presumably WordPress interprets the quote before the s as an apostrophe, which is amusing, because it’s preceded by a space. To me, that indicates that the qualified noun (were there one) would by “possessed”, but not by anything one would care to name. Very Halloween.

    Sure, I remember you as Lambaste. I too had trouble finding the right appellation when I first got here, & have worn “Pressurized Lumber” (there was some kind of rationale) & “P/A Satan”, and, once, another name, now lost to the mists of time.

    Oct 28, 2007 at 6:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #130   bettysworry bang

    Hmm, that makes sense. It does have a thing about apostrophes, as it wouldn’t let me leave one in my name. I like ‘lambaste’ a lot, actually, it’s the Tom Cruise in me (don’t know if you’ll ge that one. Don’t know if you were in Oz at the time of that ad campaign, and I don’t know if it was/were lamb or beef they were advertising) – anyway.
    “Pressurized Lumber” brings to mind the “Slumber King” brand also popular in Oz (and elsewhere?), lumbago, etc. I’ll have to go look ‘lumber’ up. I’m sure there’s more to it, and public address Satan, why not…oh no, it’s passive aggressive, of course. Who could that be? Well, nearly all the pollies in the world at present for one (all the pollies being a group noun).
    The unpossessive ‘s’ has been possessed by the ghost in the machine, I guess.

    Oct 28, 2007 at 6:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #131   The Parkerilla

    I know you used that towel to wipe between your legs, thats why I took it you silly girl, so I could have a good sniff.

    Yours, the dorm perv

    p.s. next time could you leave some panties?

    Oct 28, 2007 at 6:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #132   Coke-aholic

    bettysworry, I am assuming that you meant Perth, Australia and not Perth, Scotland. Was I correct?

    TC, I am going to have your song stuck in my head for ages now!

    Oct 28, 2007 at 11:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #133   A.A guy

    Or could you have mean’t Perth Ontario Canada?
    (It’s a great little curling town)

    Oct 28, 2007 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #134   tweedle

    Hey thanks for the good words, pollies. The Men at Work adaptation is genius, TC; very singable.

    Coke-a-holic, please, spit to your heart’s content and never mind my griping.

    (But if I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day… ooo-wee!)

    : )

    Oct 28, 2007 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #135   Canthz_B bang

    You mean I could have had towels?
    And me stuck with this panty collection. :-(

    Oct 28, 2007 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #136   Team Cassandra bang

    Hay bettysworry,
    Whatever you said up there – I totally get it:)

    And for those who think I rock –
    y thank u, dahlinks!

    Oct 28, 2007 at 4:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #137   GVI bang

    T_C you totally rock.

    Oct 28, 2007 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #138   jamie

    mmmmmmm towels. delish.

    Oct 29, 2007 at 12:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #139   Ange

    Someone needs to get a life! It’s a towel!!!

    Oct 29, 2007 at 3:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #140   bettysworry bang

    Perth, Oz. How many light years away from Sydney is Perth, Ontario? Curling, now there’s a sport.

    Oct 29, 2007 at 6:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #141   Lurker

    If the towelsnatcher deserves to die for something trifling, I shudder to think what he would deserve for something serious.

    Nov 12, 2007 at 1:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #142   what, no highlighting?

    [...] our anonymous submitter in dearborn, michigan spotted this gem this in a women’s restroom at her office of “several hundred financial and information technology professionals” — perhaps the future workplace of a trifling young uc-berkeley student? [...]

    Nov 26, 2007 at 1:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #143   Sundaeg1rl

    Ewwww, she wiped between her legs with a towel?? Was this before or after washing? Girl obviously needs to learn what toilet paper’s for! (and she needs to loosen up or she’ll never get any cunnilingus)

    Dec 4, 2007 at 7:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #144   Shalini

    Ugh. Comic Sans.

    Dec 27, 2007 at 1:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #145   three things your health teacher didn’t tell you about herpes

    [...] related: come get some [...]

    Jun 18, 2008 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #146   oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

    [...] walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER their building.” (trifling [...]

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #147   Enjoy your yeast infection! :) | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] I wiped between my legs with those towels! [...]

    Jun 24, 2010 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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