lisa in berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “according to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘the towels were actually nice. they were from kohl’s or something.’”
lisa says the note has since been taken down. “i guess an ra either got to it, or someone got a beating.”
reddit!
stumble it!
146 responses so far ↓
#1 melanie
I’m not even going to say it because sometimes you have to le a joke rest to retain its humor, right?
mmppfffhhhh!
Team Don’t Leave Your Laundry Unattended, Especially in the Wee Hours of the Morning
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:37 am rating: +1
#2 melanie
*let
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:38 am rating: 0
#3 Brian
Team towel stealer!
If they were left taking up space for 5 hours they deserve to be taken.
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:39 am rating: +1
#4 Patrick
Those towels were fucking delicious…
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:39 am rating: +3
#5 Pinkeh
Those towels were delicious!
Um….
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:40 am rating: 0
#6 Mishee
Dammit Patrick, you beat me to it! Oh well… this reminds me of that other one where the writer said they would never be comfortable doing their laundry again! LOL!
And we all know what high quality towels Kohls has….
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:40 am rating: 0
#7 Dj Tenn.
Her spelling , grammar & punctuation scream college student.
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#8 Lisa
When I was in college, I moved into my dorm room early one year to do newspaper staff training and put out the first issue before the rest of the students returned to school. I did a load of whites in the community laundry room, and when I went to put the load into the dryer, I discovered that a black pen (not mine!) had been left in the washer and subsequently exploded in the spin cycle. Two PSAs appeared in the newspaper that week: “Check your pockets before you wash its.” and “Spots are in.”
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:43 am rating: 0
#9 Mitsu
lol, this is too much! I don’t think the thief deserves to die, they’re just towels! The point is, that you have to keep an eye on your laundry when you live in an apartment building!
Team don’t Leave Your Laundry Unattended!
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:44 am rating: 0
#10 Mitsu
Come get some? What the hell?
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:46 am rating: +1
#11 sweavo
That’s not even slightly passive abbout its aggressive, that is a top rant. Team kick-the-thieves’-asses FTW.
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:46 am rating: 0
#12 Kevin
You deserve to DIE? For stealing towels? People have no sense of perspective. I love the “trifling” comment, indicative of ghetto bitches everywhere.
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:46 am rating: +1
#13 Troy McClure
We 4th floor Slottman residents are wet; do you know why?
Some cretin, some noctural fuck, some loser strolling by,
Trifled with our manchester, took what he did not buy.
If you steal our fucking towels you deserve to die!
Oct 26, 2007 at 9:50 am rating: +3
#14 MasterTwisted
I hope to hear about the ass-kicking on the 11:00 o’clock news.
“Tonight, there was an assault in a local dormitory. It appears the victim was whipped and beaten unconscious by attackers wielding towels. No one has been charged, but the police have leads.
And now for the weather…”
Team fuck-the-thieves-up.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:05 am rating: +1
#15 Troy McClure
Wow, I just noticed that the note’s in comic sans, isn’t it? Hardly a font to strike terror into the hearts of the guilty.
“Can you imagine what it would feel like, to get way, way too dry? You don’t want to know. And I don’t know.”
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:08 am rating: +1
#16 heisa
it’s hard to be intimidated by a note written in comic sans.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:08 am rating: 0
#17 betty'sworry
#13 a noctural is when you take a doctorate in night-time activities, no doubt?
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#18 spook
Comic Sans FTW!
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:13 am rating: +1
#19 betty'sworry
Sorry, it’s just tickled my funny bone, so I’ll talk to myself for a while. “Well, my doctoral thesis was on linguistics, but my noctural thesis - well, that’s another matter”
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:30 am rating: 0
#20 Katy
Is anyone else disturbed that this person purposefully mentions wiping between their legs with the towels?
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: +1
#21 lou fah
those crotch rubbed towels were fuckin’ delicious. wait, that didnt come out like i meant.
i meant they were tasty . . . . uh, awesome . . . nevermind.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: 0
#22 Strideo
U have got 2 B kidding me! Who would steel towals btwn the hours of 3 and 8am? And ass kicking is needed here!
Oh good grief.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: 0
#23 Liz
Towels are pretty expensive, especially if you are in college…but I wouldn’t consider that a crime punishable by death. I think the fact that they now know that they have used a ‘btwn the legs’/crotch towel possibly on their face is punishment enough.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:46 am rating: 0
#24 lou fah
maybe they were stolen because they were crotch rubbed.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#25 DonkeyCock
Sounds like the chick may have had an admirer who knew that she wiped between her legs with those towels. Go team towel sniffer.
On a side note… this chick must think that whatever is between her legs is pretty ranuchy…
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:50 am rating: 0
#26 Mrs L Carrot
If the towels were stolen by blokes, which is a dead cert because they probably used theirs to swab down an engine or left them, one by one, at the gym, never to be found, then saying you’ve wiped between your legs with them is asking to have any remaining towels you possess stolen in the next wash… with your bras, pants and possibly, if you are the kind of person who possesses any, your sports kit…
Cheers
Mrs L Carrot
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:56 am rating: 0
#27 Mishee
I don’t know about you, but wasn’t she WASHING the towels? Therefore, the towels must have been at least clean (I don’t know anyone who just drops their dirty laundry off at the washers and walks away… no, you at least put them in the wash first!) - does she think she is so nasty (I agree with #25) that even after it’s been through the wash it’s still gross? And she plans to use it again on her clean body after a shower? She is NASTY!
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:56 am rating: +1
#28 WanderingPenguin
Hey! Where is “4th Floor Slottman” because I want some, too!
I have to agree with #3 Brian, though: if you leave your laundry in a machine for 5 hours without checking on it I think you takes yer chances. I used to hate it when, in my old apartment building with one laundry room containing three washers and three dryers, some “crotch wiper” would put a load in and leave it there long after the machine had finished.
Do your laundry, collect it when it’s done and get the hell out of the way.
Oct 26, 2007 at 10:58 am rating: 0
#29 WanderingPenguin
And FTR, why are we all so certain that this note was left by a female? Because no “guy” would buy towels from Kohl’s? Hey, I wipe between my legs too!
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:00 am rating: 0
#30 Mishee
WP, I’m thinking it’s a girl because of the “Cute Text Talk” and the Comic Sans… all it needs now is a pink pen penis drawing…
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: 0
#31 Mitsu
I think that advertising that she wiped between her legs with the towels, and then signing off as “come get some” just makes her sound like a big slut!
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:04 am rating: 0
#32 Mitsu
Then again, maybe it was intentionally meant to sound that way!
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: 0
#33 todd
it’s a bit counter-intuitive to say someone is nasty for using a towel that has been between the owner’s legs. doesn’t that mean she’s accusing her nether region of being nasty? i mean come on…might as well call yourself a slut.
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: 0
#34 GVI
Is a fucking towel anything like a fucking wall??
Also, what the hell does she have growing between her legs, that even after washing her towel it still lives?
But mabe the person knew she had disgusting towels and took them to be cleaned by a professional.
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:11 am rating: 0
#35 GVI
*maybe*
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:11 am rating: 0
#36 Juliet
Why can’t this person write out the word ‘between’?
What amazes me is that someone hasn’t drawn a penis on it yet.
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:15 am rating: 0
#37 Wade
I wonder how they plan on identifying their towels.
rocket pubes embedded in the pima cotton?
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:15 am rating: 0
#38 Mishee
I’m surprised she didn’t say “cum get sum” - I can’t stand people who use text talk OUTSIDE of texting.
The reason it’s like that is so you can get more words in one message, and type it quicker. Text talk has NO PLACE being used on a keyboard or in MS Word!
Team Learn to Spell, Grow up and Use Your Words!
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: 0
#39 claw71
Deserve to die for a trifling offense? A tad dramatic, no?
Somehow I’m not intimidated by prissy little Berkley boys with plush towels from Kohls.
Clearly the “top” wrote this note because the “bottom” was too distraught over how purchasing new towels would throw off his decorating theme.
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#40 Katzndogz
Maybe the towels were stolen from the bathroom, and the note-writer put the note in the laundry room because that’s the only place to put notes. Plus, if someone steals a dirty towel from a bathroom, theoretically they’ll be taking it to the laundry room to wash it before they use it.
On the other hand, maybe she thinks its nasty to use other people’s towels, even if they have been washed. Think about it, would you wear underwear that belonged to someone else, even if it is washed?
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:22 am rating: +1
#41 Manick
Never mind stealing towels between 3 and 8 am, who the hell washes them at that time of night. What had they been doing?
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: 0
#42 WanderingPenguin
I am a bit disappointed that nobody posted the http://www.m-w.com/ link yet. Obviously, the letter writer needs to look up the word “trifling” so they can use it contextually in a sentence that doesn’t include the words “deserve to die”.
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#43 WanderingPenguin
Ohh…. I guess that’s what Claw said already. I missed it.
Oct 26, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
#44 Black Bellamy
For all those folks who are like omg it’s just towels, I would like them to know that I am exactly the kind of person who would throttle them by the fucking neck, consequences be damned, if I ever caught them with my clothing, bedsheets, or towels.
Some things are inviolate and deserve the harshest reprisal.
Team come get some!
Oct 26, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: 0
#45 Eric C
I’m still appalled that such a poorly-written note came out of what’s allegedly one of our finest public universities.
Oct 26, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#46 Lindsay
Dj Tenn: the way you phrased your comment makes it sound like you think all college students can’t spell or write. What makes you so high and mighty that you’re above that? Just because you aren’t in college doesn’t mean people that are are stupid. I’m a college student and cringe when I see such horrible writing. And no I’m not an english major. Watch what you say because I can bet that a lot of college students are much smarter than you are. Granted, there are sometimes some pretty stupid people that somehow make it into college, but that’s definitely not the norm.
Also, on an unrelated note, just because somebody leaves their laundry in a machine for 5 hours doesn’t mean you should steal their stuff. Just take it out and put it on top of the machine or on a counter or something. Come on people. Getting your shit stolen sucks.
Oct 26, 2007 at 12:28 pm rating: 0
#47 Life With Buck
I don’t get it, were the towels lying around with dirty crotch germs on them? And if so, why?
Oct 26, 2007 at 12:29 pm rating: 0
#48 lou fah
i done got me one of dem kollage papers (they called it a masters degree, you’ns no whut that means!) that sez dat i gone too skool long enuf, i got it down here in the souf, down in ol’ dixie, and imn plen-t smart fer mi own gud.
i likes dem crotch rubbed towles if they is dun rubbed by a gal (knot 2 closely related), butt if’n it is one of the guy fellers, then i dont like them as gud, or nun @all.
Oct 26, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#49 T-Bone
‘Roid rage, man.
If the towel-snatcher accepts the invite and wants to “come get some” at the 4th floor, will there be a shoot-out at the Slottman Corral? Super!
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
#50 WanderingPenguin
Well, Lindsay, perhaps his/her stuff wasn’t stolen at all. Perhaps other people in the dorm are fed up with this person always hogging washers and dryers for hours on end, so they took the towels out and put them elsewhere to teach them a lesson. Perhaps this person eventually found the towels and took his/her own note down without leaving an “oops” note in its place.
The kind of person that would write this type of note - complete with text-speak and typos - seems to me to be exactly the kind of person who would do all of the above: a lazy, inconsiderate, early-20s boor - which is not to say that all of you are the same… but plenty are.
Does that make you feel better?
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#51 DonkeyCock
Black Bellamy got a little light bulb going off over my head….
Maybe this chick is Black… the use of the word “trifling” and the comment being backed up by another Black person intrigues me…
Is it taboo to use another person’s towel in the Black community? I’m talking about within the same family and what not… Can a brother and a sister use the same towel or does everybody have their own???
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#52 carmelo-rules
hello, its us the towels, we wanted everyone to know we were not stolen. we ran away! not one of us towels ever enjoyed being rubbed against a smelly unwashed taint! when the 4th floor slottmans decide to wash, we shall decide to return! team runaway towels for life!!!!
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: +1
#53 Towlie
She only mentioned wiping between her legs to gross out the thief. I doubt she really thinks she’s that nasty.
Come on people, think…
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:37 pm rating: 0
#54 Zsa
I’ve been to a big university and have met PLENTY of stupid students- hello? can you say athletic scholarship?
and yes, having your stuff stolen sucks. But leaving your towels in the laundry for 5 hours-even in the middle of the night- is like leaving the keys in your car overnight. Asking for tourble
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#55 Zsa
or Trouble… although tourbles ARE trouble
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:42 pm rating: 0
#56 WanderingPenguin
You’re the worst mascot ever, Towlie!
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:47 pm rating: 0
#57 lola
Towel stealing is necessarily punishable by death, BUT the type of people who would steal towels are typically lowlifes and deserve, at the very least, some prison or straight-jacket time.
As I mentioned a few weeks back, I had a load of jeans stolen before they had even finished washing. That was every pair of jeans I owned at the time. What kind of scuzzball sees laundry as an opportunity to “shop” for clothes/towels? WTF is wrong with them???
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#58 lola
oops, meant “isn’t”
Oct 26, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#59 Wade
Towelie may have a point, because any bath towel used to dry one’s person would have to eventually be used between the legs.
Unless the owner suffers from petsetaphilia, the need to use towels to acheive arousal. This might explain the desperate threats of death to the thief, as well as the descriptive adjective in the first sentence.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:10 pm rating: +1
#60 bedders
notice of solicitation for prostitution?
whoever stole her “fucking towels”
these must be the towels she uses for the express purpouse of fucking,therfore clearing up the wiping between the legs part of the rant.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:15 pm rating: 0
#61 claw71
T-Bone:
It won’t be a shoot-em-up but a towel snapping melee. Ironically the towel snatcher will find himself at a disadvantage because plush towels simply don’t have any pop to them…even if they are slathered in scrotum sweat.
In my experience those thin olive drab rags they substitute for towels in the military are the best. They don’t soak up much water but they feature low drag and break skin.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:28 pm rating: 0
#62 Natalee
Hey Towlie,
Wanna get high?
Team I Wanna See A Bitch Fight Go Down!!
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:28 pm rating: 0
#63 Wade
Maybe (and this is a stretch) the owner(s) are Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fans, and are mortified that they have been caught without a towel.
Or the theives are getting an early start on Towel Day:
http://www.towelday.kojv.net/
Don’t Panic.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:40 pm rating: +1
#64 tuppins
Hey…ZSA…not all people on athletic scholarships are stupid…just like not all people on academic based scholarships are pasty nerds who think they are better than everyone else. Twit.
I had plenty of stuff stolen out of washing machines in my time and only once did I see my stuff in someone else’s laundry…in fact…it was my towels. The idiot had lined through my name on the towel with marker and wrote his. I think he thought it was funny. I cut open the crotch of every one of his pants in the pile. Now that was funny.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:45 pm rating: +1
#65 s
something about this makes me love it.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:47 pm rating: 0
#66 todd
Dear Wade,
Your reference of HGG makes me happy in the pants. Hurry, someone get me a towel before I make a mess!
Too late.
Oct 26, 2007 at 2:51 pm rating: 0
#67