lanqui spotted this note on a moped that was locked to a street sign in greenwich village. that bit of orange there? yup, that would be a ticket.
(click to enlarge)
nice try
October 29th, 2007 · 203 comments
FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · new york · raging against the machine · that's illegal · woulda shoulda coulda
203 responses so far ↓
#1
Troy McClure
That’s mopedantic.
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:03 am rating: 0
#2
Troy McClure
Which came first, the note or ticket?
Neither way makes sense.
Sure, you want no one to nick it,
So you lock it to a fence.
But if the cops already fined you,
why then leave a note?
That cop’s gone, need I remind you;
Left port has that boat.
If, conversely, you believe
A cop may bust you, shit!
Why in god’s name would you leave
Your moped there, you twit?
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:14 am rating: +2
#3
Andy
Good luck with that one. Parking cops don’t care about anything, except giving out tickets. They’re soulless ticket-writing machines, I tell ya!.
Nice way to patronize the cop, though, by making sure to relate it to something they might have seen (those damn Vespas), since they’re so ignorant of the vagaries of the scooter culture.
Well, see ya later at traffic court when you contest this ticket, with your large branch diagrams showing the moped family and scooter family, then with your affidavits saying you don’t have an ignition switch and all that.
That’s what you get by trying to save the environment by not driving a car. Thpppt.
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:25 am rating: 0
#4
dawn
Poor Moped Dude/Dudette. With all the money s/he’s probably spent on parking tickets, s/he could probably have purchased a regular bike. Or a bus pass. Or some sturdy walking shoes.
All snarking aside, it’s hard to choose a side on this one.
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:32 am rating: 0
#5
WanderingPenguin
Dear Moped Owner:
I’m a parking cop. I don’t read notes. I have tickets to write, soon-to-expire meters to haunt, other people to harass. You’re just lucky I didn’t get an actual cop to write you another ticket for littering the sidewalk with your moped. Ha ha ha.
Sincerely, “Da Man”
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:51 am rating: 0
#6
cheryl
That ignition off/locking mechanism was fucking delicious.
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:57 am rating: 0
#7
Nattie
That smaller-than-that-of-a-scooter-engine was fucking delicious.
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:59 am rating: 0
#8
claw71
Most municipalities treat mopeds as motorcycles although a special operator’s license is generally not required for motorcycles with an engine displacement under 50cc.
I think Chuckles needs to look up the NYC parking regulations and verify his facts. There are existing procedures for dealing with unwarranted tickets. Notes won’t help.
Oct 29, 2007 at 8:59 am rating: 0
#9
Mishee
Why leave a note? When I get a ticket, I cry and that usually works…
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:04 am rating: 0
#10
Al Hanso
Real men don’t whine about tickets. Nor do they ride scooters. Suck it up, princess.
Team bylaw enforcement!
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:19 am rating: 0
#11
WanderingPenguin
I agree with Al: either buy a bicycle and ride the damn thing or buy a motorcycle and drive it. None of this in-between crap.
BTW, I’d like a closer look at the bike in the background of that picture. Wouldn’t it be funny if there were a ticket on that bike, too, and it turned out you can’t park anything on the sidewalk there?
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:28 am rating: 0
#12
eric the beehivehairdresser
Notes on moped are giving this city a bad name.
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:30 am rating: 0
#13
melanie
Team Tell It to the Judge!
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:31 am rating: 0
#14
claw71
Dear Moped-Riding Candy Ass:
I don’t care whether your prissy little fart buggy has a locking ignition or a rip cord. It’s got a motor on it which makes it a motorized vehicle. Motorized vehicles are not permitted on the sidewalk. Period.
If you want to park on the sidewalk buy yourself a frigging Huffy and earn that honor the hard way.
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#15
lou fah
mopeds scream vagina, just not in getting any.
Oct 29, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#16
T-Bone
Telling your side of the story to a cop is like farting in a hurricane– no one will notice or appreciate your efforts.
Suck it up, moped-boy. Pay the ticket and don’t park on the sidewalk again.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:01 am rating: 0
#17
GVI
Aww, poor cry baby with his motorized bicycle.
He might as well be driving around the city in a go-kart.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:15 am rating: 0
#18
ianqui
Wandering Penguin–actually, it’s illegal to lock anything to street signs or meters in NYC. Whether or not we agree with this, locks get cut all the time by the cops when people lock their (regular) bikes to street fixtures. So yeah, using that as an excuse most definitely isn’t going to help this person.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 0
#19
Hubbers
I imagine the cop chuckled to himself the whole time he wrote the ticket.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:18 am rating: 0
#20
turrboenvy
Is that orange thing behind the note a ticket?
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:26 am rating: 0
#21
A.A guy
When I get a ticket I too cry, this usually ends up with the cop kicking the shit out of me.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:54 am rating: 0
#22
Coke-aholic
See this is how police brutality gets started. Some snot mouth writes a blubbery note to the cop trying to whine their way out of a ticket. Then, the next thing you know, that cop is standing next to the moped when the owner returns, with his bludger thing out. What the heck is that big black stick called anyway? Truncheon? Whatever.
Cops carry big sticks and don’t care what you say.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:57 am rating: 0
#23
Mishee
Coke-aholic you bring to mind one of the best lines from The Simpsons, when Bart decides he wants to be a cop and does a ride-along with Lou and Eddie and as they are walking to the car this is said:
Bart: Wow! Can I see your club?
Cop: It’s called a baton, son.
Bart: Oh. What’s it for?
Cop: We club people with it.
Oct 29, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#24
Juliet
Parking enforcement people are determined to give out tickets. It’s like they have prizes awarded for the most tickets given out per day, week, month, and year.
However, some dorks in my city were complaining because they think they should pay less money for the ferry off the island we live on because they have a Smart car and are using less space/their car is more environmentally friendly than that giant SUV. It may be “smaller” but it’s still a car. And with all the money they apparently save on gas, that should more than pay for the ferry fare.
Team If It has a Motor, It Shouldn’t Be Parked On NYC Sidewalks, I Don’t Care If You Compare It To A Vespa.
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: 0
#25
vic_vr6
I take my plate off when parking my moped on the sidewalk… no plate=no ticket
oh and most people who ride mopeds really dont care what you think of them.
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:13 am rating: 0
#26
Wade
vic_vr6
That’s obvious from the way they drive.
Team If It Has A Motor Stay Out Of The Damn Bike Lane!
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#27
Strideo
I think I would feel safer by NOT leaving a note on the moped and just taking my chances.
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#28
Coke-aholic
Mopeds are much better than those loud, obnoxious crotch rockets some people drive. There is nothing at all wrong with mopeds. In fact, maybe we need a poem about one. Something like Ode to My Moped? Team Cassandra where are you when we need you? Maybe she/he can do a Dickinson type one this time. Poe is way too depressing for a Moped love sonnet.
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:25 am rating: 0
#29
Eric C
Wow. If this person left this note before getting a ticket, I don’t blame NYC’s finest for slapping a ticket right down. The underlining, the condescension, the use of “cop” (it’s my understanding that “cop” is insulting to many officers) is all a recipe for a parking disaster.
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:29 am rating: 0
#30
sarah grant
hi, i’m the one who left the note. i had already got the ticket. and i’m going to contest it.
and yeah, parking cops suck. we all know that. are you guys really gonna try to act like you them? you must have never owned a vehicle before. and i’ve never had a parking ticket for locking my bike up on the sidewalk ever.
and i’m a girl, so hurl all the faggy comments at me as you like. i don’t really give a shit.
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:54 am rating: 0
#31
A.A guy
The origin of Cop…….Constable On Patrol
Oct 29, 2007 at 11:56 am rating: 0
#32
A.A guy
Would switching to dyke slurs be more appropriate?
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#33
Life With Buck
Mopeds are only on the fringe of coolness, and as a result this moped owner must pay the penalty. If he or she had a scraper bike, which is fully rooted in coolness, this would have never happened.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:07 pm rating: 0
#34
WanderingPenguin
Wow, “sarah”. You sound like a real winner.
And you got the ticket….THEN you wrote the note…. THEN you took a picture and sent it in?
I’d say the title of this thread sums your actions up perfectly. Too bad this isn’t a site entitled “whiny-bitchy-notes-left-after-the-fact.com”.
Next thread please?
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
#35
WanderingPenguin
Wow, ianqui, that sounds quite … well, “unenlightened”, I guess. I’m sure there’s some archaic reason for it, right? Thanks for the note.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#36
Team Cassandra
wow - you really think Emily would be less depressing than Poe?
I’ll try this one for you -
A Dying Tiger - moaned for Drink…
A moped rider - moaned to Park
A sign-post was his Stop -
He wrote a most extensive Note
To woo the Parking Cop.
His Mighty Balls - that he should write -
And writing - should offend
The Cop he sought to Soothe that day -
He got a ticket in the End.
’Twas not his blame—who sped too slow—
’Twas not his blame—who parked
‘Twas the stupid Note he left that Day—
That caused the Moped to be Marked.
here’s a copy of the original:
http://www.sanjeev.net/poetry/dickinson-emily/a-dying-tiger-moaned-for-drink-162425.html
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#37
WanderingPenguin
Wow - this is the fourth comment in a row to start with “wow”.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
#38
WanderingPenguin
Oh, BTW, brilliant, TC.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
#39
Mitsu
Yeah, good luck contesting this ticket… you know, cops don’t really give a crap if you left a whiny note or not. The point is, that anything with a motor can’t be locked to a post on the sidewalk! It’s that simple!
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#40
claw71
Well Sarah, you must be one of those burly flanal wearing girls because this note oozed repressed masculinity. Your penmanship is attrocious.
Before you contest the ticket you need to check your local traffic regulations. You could end up wasting time and even more money fighting a ticket you deserved in the first place.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:35 pm rating: 0
#41
Mr. Sarcastic
Wow. A mouthy, moped-riding, bitchy girl with a chip on her shoulder living in Greenwich Village, NYC? Now I’ve seen EVERYTHING!
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:37 pm rating: 0
#42
Mitsu
Yeah, save the court time for some real legal issues.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:37 pm rating: 0
#43
WanderingPenguin
Personally I hope she does fight the ticket in a mouthy fashion and the judge levels an additional fine for Contempt of Court or something. I hope she rides to the hearing on this moped and locks it to a sign in front of the courthouse and when she returns she finds that this time the lock is cut (a la ianqui) and the whole damn thing is gone.
I’d love to see the next note then.
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
#44
Moped Haiku
First, buy a moped
Park illegally - whine whine
Enjoy your ticket
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:48 pm rating: 0
#45
claw71
I think Steppenwolf nailed this one:
Get your moped running
park it on the sidwalk
looking for a bagel
and a lesbian life lover
Why’d you go and write a ticket
I don’t have an ignition place
I’m leaving you a sloppy note
and making this a court case
I’ve always been a whiner
It got me my new condo
Daddy pays rent for me
I don’t have a real job, no
Why’d you go and write a ticket
I don’t have an ignition place
I’m leaving you a nasty note
and making this a court case
Like a true spoiled child I was born, born to be mild
I can’t park my bike and now I’m gonna cry
Born to be mild
Born to be mild
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:49 pm rating: 0
#46
sarah grant
dude i didn’t send the picture in. a friend sent me a link to this thread. i didn’t even know this site existed.
people on teh intarnetz are so angry!
Oct 29, 2007 at 12:50 pm rating: 0
#47
ShagnBag
Any revenge against the parking fascists I’m all for. Problem is, I’m not sure this is getting the job done. You got a ticket, and you just made sure you are going to keep getting tickets.
Claw - “burly flanal wearing”? and “penmanship is attrocious”? I think note-writer’s penmanship wins over your spelling.
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#48
Team Cassandra
o dear - its a ‘her’.
Please read the poem accordingly…
but what to do about those Mighty Balls…
ps. I think ‘Born to be Mild’ rocks, myself…
Sorry sarah - its not personal - its just funny:)
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:07 pm rating: 0
#49
claw71
So, Sarah, are you saying that you don’t see the fultility in leaving this note?
This site isn’t about anger, it’s about poking fun at people who leave passive aggressive notes. You can laugh with us if you like or you can go on the defensive and make yourself look stupid.
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:09 pm rating: 0
#50
ShagnBag
So if we’re into poking fun at people who leave PA notes, there’s surely nothing wrong with poking fun with the people who are poking the fun?
In that case… we are all SO impressed by all the poetry, haikus and stolen song lyrics. You must be really clever to take someone else’s poem/song/etc. and insert totally new words that use the same rhymes! It’s been said before in this thread, but wow!
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#51
Mishee
Claw, your Steppenwolf song, especially the part about Daddy buying her a condo brought this blast from the past to mind:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/08/12/dont-hate-the-playa/#more-340
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#52
Coke-aholic
Of course Emily Dickinson was depressing but it is funnier picturing her riding a moped than Poe.
And in regards to flannel wearing whatever it said, that made me think of the biker lady in Rat Race that John Lovitz flips off and calls a dyke. HAHAHAHAHAHA…a most appropriate image!
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:32 pm rating: 0
#53
Coke-aholic
Uhhh, sorry that looked like I meant Emily riding a moped instead of riding Poe. I meant Emily riding a moped instead of Poe riding a moped. Sorry!
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: +1
#54
Team Cassandra
Hey ShagnBag…
Let’s take it one step further and poke fun at the people who poke fun at the people who steal song lyrics and poetry lines to poke fun at PA note writers:
Wow -you’re so funny but that’s only becuz your mama dresses you that way:)
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#55
claw71
I think shagNbag has a great point and should pursue this endeavor on a website specifically dedicated to such an enterprise.
I reserved a domain name for you if you like: http://www.eatme.com
It’s not original but it’s easy to remember. Just like yo mama’s phone number 1-800-blow-job.
Oct 29, 2007 at 1:57 pm rating: 0
#56
Mishee
Whoa people! Getting a little too vicious in here for me now!
Peace, Love, Happiness…
Oct 29, 2007 at 2:02 pm rating: 0