(from beyond robson, via miss604)
perhaps scott should give anytime stan a call?
be more of a people’s person, ok?
October 30th, 2007 · 94 comments
FILED UNDER: canada · farewell letter · office · vancouver
painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over
- Cop one: Caught him speeding officer. One mile over the prescriptive mile.
Cop two: Book him, just as he was booking us. You know it matters most when it comes to these "Little" Dishonesties.
Cop one: And then what?
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94 responses so far ↓
#1
LokiXIII
wow, that’s harsh D:
Oct 30, 2007 at 7:55 pm rating: 0
#2
SoJewtastic
Those loyal workers were fucking delicious!
Oct 30, 2007 at 7:56 pm rating: 0
#3
GVI
Wow, he lost his whole staff at once, that sucks.
So being a people’s person pays more than non-people’s people? I need a new damn job.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:05 pm rating: 0
#4
Troy McClure
You wi’ll see some terrible spelling.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: 0
#5
Dana
WOW. AWESOME.
I hope he’s really a prick and deserves everyone quitting on him at once.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: +1
#6
Mishee
Is the writer a pirate? They keep saying “Yar” instead of “Your”…
Arrrr!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:20 pm rating: 0
#7
Mishee
And who in the hell names their kid Paisley? Geez! Damn Canadians, eh!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:22 pm rating: 0
#8
Team Cassandra
Nice one. Is that on the front door, no less?
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:22 pm rating: 0
#9
GVI
This note reminds me of Stephen with his full tin as he addresses AU Stat.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:24 pm rating: 0
#10
Mishee
Nothing against you TC – I love America’s Hat!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:25 pm rating: 0
#11
Mishee
The killer is that they put the business card taped to the top… so now we know where to go find Scott and give him shit!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:29 pm rating: 0
#12
Troy McClure
#6: I think that’s bad handwriting rather than “yar”. But maybe I just can’t face the horror that Pirate Coffee would be. Five months from port, mouldy old coffee beans, little coal left, so the water’s heated to a very borderline temperature, and to prevent scurvy, a bit of lemon juice is added.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:33 pm rating: +2
#13
raiseyourglass
Wow! I had job’s like that…but I’d never have the nerve to dump on someone like that, unless of course, the paycheck bounced. He musta been a real ass. Guess they all got better offers at starbucks.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:37 pm rating: 0
#14
Mishee
Troy – why not just bring freeze dried instant coffee instead of carting around beans, a grinder, and a coffee machine? Comon, use your noggin!!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:39 pm rating: 0
#15
raiseyourglass
wonder what that ripped off note taped to the door had said?
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:40 pm rating: 0
#16
Andy
The sign probably said, “Help Wanted”
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:41 pm rating: 0
#17
Troy McClure
Farewell and adieu, to you good loyal workers
Farewell and adieu, baristas who quit
I did expect more—Capn Scott runs a tight ship
I wi’ll never more see you again
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:42 pm rating: 0
#18
Mishee
Every time I read the note and the posting title this line from Office Space comes to mind, so I had to post it:
“I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don’t have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?”
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:44 pm rating: 0
#19
Mishee
Dammit! Didn’t close my italics correctly!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:45 pm rating: 0
#20
anglophile
Complete mutiny! Awesome! I hope to organize a coup like that someday. I’ll have to convince a lot more than four people to all walk out at once, though.
I really hope Jorge, Hyun, Paisley, or Stewart will comment and tell us horror stories of working for Scott.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:46 pm rating: 0
#21
Andy
I read the caption at the originating site, and they were walking to Spartacus Books.
I love it that fate took them past this coffee shop, walking to a bookstore named after a Roman slave-rebel. Whoopee!!!
Isn’t that what happened at the end of “Norma Rae”, they tacked a long note on the factory door? Union!!!
Did Paisley and gang just go to Starbucks, then? I need a “Where are they now?” update, soon.
Yes, I crave closure to these things, if only to try to squeeze out any mock-worthy material.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:47 pm rating: 0
#22
raiseyourglass
LOVE IT!
All he wanted was a little flair.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:47 pm rating: 0
#23
Mishee
I do want to express myself, okay. And I don’t need 37 pieces of flair to do it.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:49 pm rating: 0
#24
raiseyourglass
that response was for Mishee #18
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:49 pm rating: 0
#25
Juliet
I thought you needed at least 15 pieces of flair…
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:50 pm rating: 0
#26
raiseyourglass
Think they took the expresso machine and smashed it?
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:51 pm rating: 0
#27
Mishee
No, Steve had 37, and Mike Judge (the boss) was comparing her 15 to his 37 – that’s right before she flipped him off…
(37!!)
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:52 pm rating: 0
#28
Mishee
Sorry… Brian… (reminds me of a guy I know named Steve)
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:52 pm rating: 0
#29
Juliet
You know things are bad when more than one person quits on you at the same time. I’ll bet Scott was a prick. When I was young, sticking it to a crappy restaurant chain own was my fondest dream. However, things were never bad enough for everyone to quit at the same time.
I wish I’d left that note.
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:54 pm rating: 0
#30
raiseyourglass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5orss3fAEU
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:54 pm rating: 0
#31
Mishee
I quit almost the same way as this clip one time… although there might or might not have been a few of Sunnyvale’s Finest involved with my departure from my job…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5apMroe1ykI
but that was 10 years ago…
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
#32
Mishee
I like that way better than a Martin Luther note… but the note does give a little public humiliation – which I am always up for!
Oct 30, 2007 at 8:58 pm rating: 0
#33
raiseyourglass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0BoFNLgVdw
Oct 30, 2007 at 9:10 pm rating: +1
#34
Mishee
That wasn’t bad, I am sure that everyone who was there will remember that guy until the end of time… or at least how he left the company – not his name or anything else…
Oct 30, 2007 at 9:14 pm rating: 0
#35
Team Cassandra
I’m way too passive aggressive to quit.
I’d get fired. For good reasons:)
Hey Mishee – I know not one “Paisley”. In my own mind the geography was more South West…like California. Or even like some trailer park wherever there are trailer parks down there…it sounds like a good stripper name:)
Oct 30, 2007 at 9:23 pm rating: 0
#36
Gwen
This note has been floating around for a while now. It’s a good one, don’t get me wrong. And I believe it may have actually made the news at one point. Gotta love those Vancouver barista PA note leavers, if for nothing else but the moxy to actually quit.
Oct 30, 2007 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
#37
Mishee
Paisley sounds like a name that Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel would name one of his 17 kids… or he could possibly re-name Crystal Meth…
Oct 30, 2007 at 9:36 pm rating: 0
#38
WanderingPenguin
This coffee shop was in Vancouver if I understand the originating site’s name correctly, so not California….but only “Canadian” as a technicality. Trust me on that one. Paisley, in Vancouver, is probably almost a mainstream name.
Oct 30, 2007 at 10:33 pm rating: 0
#39
WanderingPenguin
That business card is an odd and inspired touch. I particularly like the italicized “Friends of Blenz” to which it appears to me the Fab Four added a question mark. Very nice indeed.
I also liked, “We quit today because this is the end”. Isn’t that backwards? Isn’t it “the end” because they quit? Or was there some sort of Armageddon-like catastrophe that befell Vancouver in 2006 that I hadn’t heard about until now?
Oct 30, 2007 at 10:41 pm rating: 0
#40
shirky
HEY! my cat’s name is paisley!
she used to leave passive aggressive “notes” too
Oct 30, 2007 at 10:54 pm rating: 0
#41
ro
#39- one of my best gay friends has decided that if he ever has a daughter, he’s going to name her crystal methamphetemine. i hope he never finds a girl to put his thingy in. :\
Oct 30, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: +3
#42
lilea79
Be a people’s person and people’s will like you gooder.
Oct 30, 2007 at 11:28 pm rating: 0
#43
GVI
#43, If he’s gay I highly doubt he will want to put his thing in a girl.
Oct 30, 2007 at 11:28 pm rating: 0
#44
crystal
Go passive agressive baristas!
Oct 30, 2007 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
#45
morpho aurora
nice note, the added question mark on the business card is great. i hope they quit during the busiest time of the day. i’m imagining it that way anyway.
Oct 30, 2007 at 11:33 pm rating: 0
#46
Coke-aholic
One of your best gay friends? Do you have a set of worst gay friends? Or best straight friends? WTF? And somehow I doubt that the legal powers that be would allow anyone to name a kid that.
Oct 30, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
#47
Kadee
Paisley McHaffie! That’s nice, that is.
I’ve actually seen this one somewhere before, but I can’t think where… still just as amusing the second time though, thanks to uhh… TEAM PAN-COMMENTS!
Oct 31, 2007 at 1:48 am rating: 0
#48
dylan23
“If you expected more from us, you should have thought more about your staff than your business.”
Apparently these miscreants don’t understand that if Scott is a business *owner*, then he SHOULD be prioritizing his business over his staff. Not like he can’t walk down the street and replace baristas in 10 minutes.
Unless Scott is a total douchebag Nazi (which I’m sure is probably at least half true), then I’m Team Scott.
Oct 31, 2007 at 2:20 am rating: 0
#49
GezD
You echoed my thoughts, Dylan; go team boss!
Oct 31, 2007 at 3:12 am rating: 0
#50
Katy
The workers and the boss both suck.
“We are good loyal workers…”
No, you’re not.
“You didn’t do anything to prevent it. Treat your staff better.”
If employees up and quit at the same time, the boss must be seriously lacking in some capacity.
Oct 31, 2007 at 4:38 am rating: 0
#51
Pappy
Blenz Coffee
508 Hastings Street West
Vancouver, BC V6B 1L6, Canada
(604) 689-1431
Oct 31, 2007 at 6:14 am rating: 0
#52
claw71
Let’s explore the workforce mentality here, shall we? It’s a coffee house. That means pay is low and tips suck. It’s a business that attracts a segment of the workforce that doesn’t much care to work.
Normally when an entire staff quits there’s something wrong with the manager but in the coffee business there are a lot of moody, emotionally fragile twists who act impulsively. Once spoiled rich girl, possibly one carrying a moniker as indulgent as Paisley, can influence half a dozen eye-liner laden emo-flakes.
Scott’s problem is not necessarily in how he treated his staff but more likely in his hiring practices. Instead of screening dramatic ne’er-do-wells out of the process he hired them. I suspect he is only guilty of expecting his staff to provide attentive service and not eat all of the scones. How dare he?
Oct 31, 2007 at 6:36 am rating: 0
#53
Wade
I can’t believe he would deny scone-eating.
Scones are life!!
Oct 31, 2007 at 6:49 am rating: 0
#54
Horkin Chunks
No staff=Free coffee!!!
Oct 31, 2007 at 7:27 am rating: 0
#55
Mitsu
LOL! I wanted to do this when I worked at a coffee chain, but instead, I was one of a “wave” of quitters…We quit one by one, after ensuring that we had a job elsewhere. Now the “Timmy’s Original 7″ has moved on…
Oct 31, 2007 at 8:36 am rating: 0
#56
sabra
danm it you already said it claw71
Iguess ill give you props
Oct 31, 2007 at 8:42 am rating: 0
#57
Adam Amato
i like the name Paisley, i kind of want to fuck her based solely on her name…
Oct 31, 2007 at 8:54 am rating: 0
#58
BoggyWoggy
BoggyWoggy likes this note. This is true passive-aggression…with a hint of humiliation.
Imagine, just for a minute, the amount of power these guys felt.
Then, they went home, fell asleep, woke, and realized, “SHIT! I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY NOW!”
Also, anyone notice the very dirty tape used to post the note? Ooo…I wonder if their hands are always that grimey?
Oct 31, 2007 at 8:55 am rating: 0
#59
GhostWriter
For the record, the nickname “Paisley” was forced upon one dishwasher, after he made the mistake of telling Scott he enjoyed “Across the Universe”.
There are a million little things like that , that Scott did wrong. Another was how seriously he took the:
Have-A-Penny? Give-A-Penny
Need-A-Penny? Get-A-Job cup, docking the register girl if it came up short (it always came up short.)
Oct 31, 2007 at 9:30 am rating: 0
#60
turrboenvy
I never quit jobs. I always passive-agressively show up late, don’t do my job, or do it poorly until I get fired.
I really should learn to just leave a nasty note and get it over with.
Oct 31, 2007 at 9:41 am rating: 0
#61
siriuseve
That has got to suck!!! I would absolutely flip out if i got to work and saw that fucking sign. Needless to say when those people wake up the next day and realize they have no income and come back to beg for their jobs ….well now that would be the best thing ever… You thought your job was hard before you quit…… ha! sure come on back to work you nitwit.
Oct 31, 2007 at 9:46 am rating: 0
#62
eric the beehivehairdresser
I could give those workers a hug.
Oct 31, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#63
A.A guy
Wade;
Great job finding that NYer strip.I tried for two hours(loser) and could only figure out the artists’ name.
Team “needs to narrow his search parameters”
Oct 31, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#64
Wade
Hey AA
Thanks. It was a team effort. I thought it was Leo Cullum and you confirmed it.
Only had to go through 8-9 pages of his cartoons to find it.
(and yes, I know it is another thread. I’m just answering the man!)
Oct 31, 2007 at 11:09 am rating: 0
#65
DrAstroZoom
“Why did you leave your last job?”
“It was the end.”
“Ummm … ok.”
Oct 31, 2007 at 11:09 am rating: 0
#66
Wade
Hopefully, they had jobs lined up.
I would recommend not using Scott as a résumé reference.
Oct 31, 2007 at 11:29 am rating: 0
#67
A.A guy
I worked as a waiter in a restaurant that had herds of charging wildebeast-type children.We had a trip the little bastards competition.Points were given for quanity, style,fall quality and length of time spent crying.We intended to take away points for getting busted,but noone ever did(I recall a few suspicious “down children” in the vicinity of management).
No animals were hurt in the playing of this game.
Oct 31, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: +2
#68
ziggytosh
Whatever. This is why I only hire uncomplaining pre-teens from Malaysia to work for my sports apparel company. Go Team Sweatshop!!
Oct 31, 2007 at 5:24 pm rating: +2
#69
Idman
I know a woman who named her daughter…wait for it….Clitoris. She thought it sounded pretty.
No legal eagles can prevent you from naming your child whatever you want…alas.
IDMAN
Oct 31, 2007 at 5:40 pm rating: 0
#70
GVI
I bet Claw would love to meet Clitoris.
Oct 31, 2007 at 6:00 pm rating: 0
#71
Canthz_B
When I was in college I worked as a dishwasher at a really posh restaurant.
The manager promised to give me a substantial raise if I stayed for four months.
Well, I did my four months and he acted like he never promised me a raise.
I waited until Friday Lobster Special night, full dining room and stopped washing dishes, shut of the machine so the water got cold and sat back and waited as the cooks ran out of plates, the greeters ran out of flatware and all of the glasses and lobster claw crackers were dirty. I then walked to the time clock, punched out and drove home.
Revenge is a dish best served on dirty plates!
Oct 31, 2007 at 6:06 pm rating: +3
#72
SpaceMonkey
#73-
Try Imbreyo , a girl, and Syphillis, a man (pronounced Sa-fy-lis). I’d be slapping somebody.
Oct 31, 2007 at 7:06 pm rating: 0
#73
josh
Chlamydia, and Pepsi Marajana. Yeah I’m from a red state. Sucks.
I’m also a public school graduate so I can’t spell too good neither.
Oct 31, 2007 at 11:21 pm rating: 0
#74
claw71
What’s a clitoris?
Nov 1, 2007 at 8:24 am rating: 0
#75
Team Cassandra
Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, claw – I get the impression that you’ll never need to know;)
And, finally – a list. I did this first cuz its short – I don’t think I’m gonna touch those 245 (was there some kinda forum posting virus that day?) but its certainly not because it wouldn’t be entertaining:
Brandon must have whooped our asses but good because “fucking delicious” only showed up ONCE at #2 if you can fucking believe that!?
Wow.
That showed up 4 times at #1,3,5and13.
You can get your daily grammar smackdown at #4,41,and44.
The only category I could think of for these was WTF?:#9,66,69,73,77,79.
Team Scott is so…well, I guess I could say”tough to pin down” at #50,51,52,53,63,64…
Did he really just want flair? Discuss: #22,23,26,28.
Nobody really believed 100% that Scott was a prick but thought that it *could* be true at: #5,11,20,30,46,50,57, 60/61 – these two are actually Team Scott! #11,41,47 admired the business card touch.
Are they really pirates and what would be the consequences at #6 and 12.
Learn how to quit at #31, 32and33
and learn about the geographical location and characteristics of girls named “Paisley” at (you know, just in case you wanna “do” one): #7,37,38,39,40,42,53and59.
Have an Office Space moment at #18.
Is this true???: #61
And #75 – Did you mean to say “at Band Camp”?
The.
End.
By TC.
PS Why does it suck to be from a red state?
Nov 1, 2007 at 9:24 pm rating: +1
#76
Team Cassandra
I mean – aside from the obvious…
Nov 1, 2007 at 9:25 pm rating: 0
#77
Team Cassandra
And oops -It wasn’t Brandon (wrong date)
Fucking Delicious is dying out on its own -
I can hear the pipes a callin’ now…
Nov 1, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#78
Mishee
TC, that List was FUCKING DELICIOUS….
Nov 2, 2007 at 12:34 am rating: 0
#79
Anon 2
I love it.
Friends and I did something similar at a theatre we used to work at (which was, coincidentally, about 5-6 blocks from this Blenz). We up and quit on the same day after having our fill of the manager’s abuses. It feels really good.
Waking up the next day and realizing that you don’t have a job doesn’t really detract. These sorts of jobs are a dime a dozen in Vancouver.
Nov 2, 2007 at 5:13 pm rating: 0
#80
FB Stalker
Yeah! Facebook! They’re all there!
Paisley and Kim are still friends and I feel creepy as hell.
Nov 2, 2007 at 5:20 pm rating: 0
#81
Team Cassandra
HEY ANDY!
Didja see #86?
Nov 2, 2007 at 9:25 pm rating: 0
#82
katherine
On my client roster we have at least one Latrina and a TraShell (note to parents: the capital S doesn’t detract from the fact that your kid’s name starts with TRASH).
I don’t think it’s a coincidence they’ve been referred for mental health interventions.
Nov 3, 2007 at 6:33 pm rating: +1
#83
Canthz_B
Hey, I made TC’s list……No, I don’t give a damn how! LOL
Nov 3, 2007 at 10:32 pm rating: 0
#84
Putz
The sign in the bathroom reads “employees must wash hands before returning to work”
If you constantly ignore it, because your new found granola lifestyle forbids you to waste water and the soap is made from animal tallow, Scott will become irritable thus no longer a “people’s person”. In all actuality he is a people’s person or more like a “customer person”. Who wants someone with nasty dirty fingers to prepare their triple latte- minus cream-plus lowfat-sprig of semen mocha mocha?
The tape is our proof of poor Scott’s frustrations. I’m sure he left the note up so people could see how dirty his staff was.
Team Scott.
Nov 4, 2007 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
#85
wicked opinion
Will someone please give Claw71 his own website called ” Sweeping generalizations based on completely made up fantastical ramblings of
my twisted brain…” PLEASE??!!
Nov 6, 2007 at 2:14 pm rating: 0
#86
Andy
FB Stalker (86): Thank you for using your stalking powers for good… this time.
TC (87): Your literal shout-out to me worked… I hadn’t checked out this thread until… now, and was browsing. Maybe it’s just because I love my name being shouted… or something.
Nov 6, 2007 at 8:58 pm rating: 0
#87
Damn
This one is from Vancouver. Home of Canadian passive aggression.
Nov 7, 2007 at 12:17 am rating: 0
#88
Team Cassandra
Hey – Katrina just made me think of a kid I know named Phallon….which *looks* ok on paper but I feel bad every time I say it ;P
Nov 7, 2007 at 8:30 am rating: 0
#89
fuhuck
Fuck y’all–”Paisley” the rainbow bunny, Jorge the spic, and you two Asians. You’re fired.
Now I’ll look for people with an actual work ethic to replace you entitlement titsuckers.
Sep 3, 2008 at 6:33 pm rating: 0
#90
Lois
Well said.
Oct 21, 2008 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
#91
Flange
I think that there must be a critical mass in group quitting, if 2 decide to quit, they might be lame-asses, but 3 or 4, especially coming from different backgrounds as the names suggest, clinches the fact for me that Scott is a world-class dickhead, so down with Team Scott! Viva Team Paisley/Jorge/Hyung/Stewart! It takes a village to bring down The Man! (do they have villages in Canada?
Dec 11, 2008 at 7:34 am rating: 0
#92
Flange
And don’t give me any shit about the single parenthesis! It’s late…
Dec 11, 2008 at 7:37 am rating: 0
#93
jason
YES!! Team quitters.
May 10, 2009 at 9:24 pm rating: 0
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