Keith spotted this note in the employee break room of a clothing store outside of Hartford, Conn.

The kicker? According to the employees, says Keith, “After the note was posted, the guy spitefully mixed the selection buttons up even worse.”

(Altogether now: “that Gatorade is…”)

related: fucking delicious

Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”

Now, for the complaints…

When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”

But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…

Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…

“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”

related: visual aids always help

Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”

related: the farewell email to end all farewell emails

Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”

Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”

related: Really, enough with the weather

No, you can’t  — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.

Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)

And the licking doesn’t stop there…

P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.

Long-simmering roommate issues comes to a head in Toronto…

(Green ink is being kicked out by black ink.)

related: I can’t stand this shit anymore.

Gina from Santa Cruz lives in a dorm where ten girls share one bathroom. Says gina, “I love saga notes, and feel we need some more of them, so I figured this collection would certainly do the trick.” Indeed, Gina, indeed! The progression here from pleasantries and smileys to — well, you’ll see — is classic. And a webmd.com citation? Major bonus points.

Gina also sent in a (small-ish) photo of the whole scene.

UPDATE: Gina responds to team fake!

related: I think it’s going to be a long long time