this just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. as one anonymous new yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!
(thank you kindly? best wishes? hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)
reddit!
stumble it!
145 responses so far ↓
#1 Team Cassandra
That insulin was fucking delicious! Booyah!
Nov 8, 2007 at 12:57 pm rating: 0
#2 KarenLW
Oh, this one’s going to be good !
Nov 8, 2007 at 12:58 pm rating: 0
#3 unholyghost2003
WOW! MUCH improved. Classic Passive agression (thank you for “cleaning the fridge”) with just a hint of guilt (the murder of diabetics) This one makes me all happy inside!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#4 Melissa
That was fabulous!!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:05 pm rating: 0
#5 unholyghost2003
I just wish there was clip art.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:07 pm rating: 0
#6 Allie
That’s awesome!
Insulin! You just threw out someone’s insulin! Great.
Extremes.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:08 pm rating: 0
#7 Chrissie
They are out to destroy the “new, growing colony”. So much for finding strange new worlds.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:12 pm rating: 0
#8 MissHoneychurch
It’s a science experiment!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:14 pm rating: 0
#9 JPav
C’mon, what is or what is not edible is purely subjective. Rotten lettuce? Insulin? String cheese? Our lines are open…
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#10 Wade
I’m trying to decide if the insulin tossing is a hypothetical. Since they could write the note while in a coma, I’m going to guess yes.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#11 Wade
It’s almost as if this note is in response to a previous note:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/10/21/if-the-tsa-was-in-charge-of-the-office-fridge/
Maybe the bag containing the Tupperware was too large.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 0
#12 unholyghost2003
What makes this note great is the determination to stay with the “cleaning the fridge” conceit. Obviously if the thief was cleaning the fridge more than just the one lunch would be gone. Taking the cleaning conceit all the way down town to the ‘careless disposal of lunch bags can KILL’ is true determination. Unless this person is actually dumb enough to believe that it was a cleaning error and not lunch theft.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 0
#13 adam amato
What if there was no insulin? now you’ve accused a man, Or woman, of murder and OCD. I think thats a hair worse than cleaning a fridge.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 0
#14 morpho aurora
did anyone check the trash can by claw’s desk?
just don’t use communal fridges - either bring something that doesn’t have to be kept cold or bring your own little cooler bag.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#15 Keachie
Maybe the thief was a diabetic ?
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:30 pm rating: 0
#16 unholyghost2003
but the insulin MUST be refrigerated, as do (apparently) the new penicillin samples growing in there. the PROBLEM is that some jerk wad left their LUNCH in the MEDICAL fridge!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#17 Mishee
Who brings lettuce and cucumbers to make their salad at work? I would say just make the salad at home and put it in personal Tupperware… that way when it gets rotten and moldy, it will be thrown out!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#18 JPav
I like how the author condemns their ‘carelessness’ but condones their ‘dedication’
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:32 pm rating: 0
#19 RP
@#10 Wade: I’m sure a diabetic would have backup insulin, probably in a separate container.
The thief owes the note writer some drugs!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: 0
#20 WickedLady
Perhaps that new colony ate the Tupperware?
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: 0
#21 JPav
“Good luck with all of your future refrigerator cleaning endeavors.”
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#22 Wade
blasted colonials!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#23 Andy
Hmmm. Hungry on the 12th floor. Could it be…?
Team Hungry Hungry Hippos on the 12th floor, passed out in an diabetic coma.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#24 Wade
Wouldn’t keeping a baggie of portioned out pretzels be considered symptomatic of OCD?
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:42 pm rating: 0
#25 TeeHee
NICE!! LMAO ‘you just caused a diabetic coma’!!!
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:44 pm rating: 0
#26 Midleah
If the perp was truly OCD, nothing would have been left in that fridge. Good food, rotten food, shelving, ice cube trays…all gone.
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:46 pm rating: 0
#27 WickedLady
I don’t think discrimination has anything to do with this. It’s obvious that experimental colony affected the Tupperware and made it come to life. Then they started a war, because they both wanted to rule over the office fridge. Some brave person just came along and randomly discarded one of the two to prevent a food fight. Little did (s)he know, the Tupperware contained insulin and (s)he caused a diabetic coma. Such tragedy…
Nov 8, 2007 at 1:52 pm rating: 0
#28 Ariadne
At least the spelling and grammar are good - but why is the whole note center-justified? Was this a side-effect of diabetic shock setting in?
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#29 Team Cassandra
It must be really, really hard to write a note while you’re in a coma. Never mind typing it and centre formatting …and all those extra bonus words!
This diabetic is my new hero.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:22 pm rating: 0
#30 Space Monkey
Center-justification, references to murder, diabetic shock, and comas…the one thing that would make this carry more weight is if it were typed in Comic Sans -or Curlz. Yeah, Curlz. Maybe Webdings, too. That’s always cryptic.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:24 pm rating: 0
#31 tootle
However, this note has made my day!
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:27 pm rating: 0
#32 morpho aurora
#29 - with NOTICE scrawled across the top in purple marker
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:29 pm rating: 0
#33 unholyghost2003
Oh Google! “Inside a Boyfriends Mind” and “Marriage Problems” … perhaps if i dodn’t have the boyfriend I wouldn’t be having trouble in my marriage …
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:29 pm rating: 0
#34 Space Monkey
Morpho: aaand printed 14 times over and taped on different walls throughout said office floor. Maybe a few on the other floors too to show you mean bidness.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
#35 DrAstroZoom
The great thing about sarcasm and condemnation is that they both heat to perfect eating temperature in 90 seconds or less (depending on your microwave)!
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:34 pm rating: 0
#36 the dawd
This one time at band camp, i confused rotten lettuce with sauerkraut. FYI i still can’t un-taste that. Maybe the poor OCD stricken cleaner is not as culturally aware as the PA note writer.
What if the cleaner is a forgetful diabetic? What if… Team hungry on the 12th floor are exaggerating about their lack of food and there is a cafeteria on the 2nd floor.
i don’t know what to believe in anymore.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:34 pm rating: 0
#37 Josie
As long as they survive the diabetic coma, I don’t see the problem. The diabetic can get a ton of money off a work-comp claim possibly allowing him/her the luxury of staying home ensuring no one will ever again steal their pretzels and string cheese…
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
#38 Julie
This could only have been better had it been in Comic Sans.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:40 pm rating: 0
#39 Space Monkey
Is there an echo? lol!
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#40 Zsa
hold your horses~ the overall sarcasm that assumes the unknown person was cleaning the fridge and not just out grazing on other’s lunches it the topper for me.
Come one now, if you are grazing you will NOT eat rotten food- you’ll go for the nicely packaged and portion controlled snacks!
high-level P-A is so f*ing de-lic-i-ous
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#41 Space Monkey
Actually no. I said more than that.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:44 pm rating: 0
#42 Mr DeBakey
I bet that the practical joker who hid the carefully planned healthy lunch in the 11th floor fridge is feeling pretty silly about now.
Nov 8, 2007 at 2:49 pm rating: 0
#43 Canthz_B
“WTF? Where’s my carefully planned healty lunch?!”
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:03 pm rating: 0
#44 WickedLady
“To the person who took it upon themselves…”
It sounds a bit strange to me. Shouldn’t it be “To the persons” or ” who took it upon himself/herself”?
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:08 pm rating: 0
#45 D
haha. there’s nothing healthier than a salad seasoned with insulin
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:08 pm rating: 0
#46 the dawd
That tossed insulin salad was fucking delicious!
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:10 pm rating: 0
#47 Canthz_B
“Why the discrimination? Because the cleaning was a diversion. My main purpose was to toss out the string cheese that you have a habit of breathing into my nostrils every afternoon! Stay out of my personal space cheese-breath!”
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:14 pm rating: 0
#48 Sean
Dear OCD,
That rotting colony was fucking delicious. Thank you for not throwing it out.
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:17 pm rating: 0
#49 Canthz_B
Four leaves of Romain (torn),
Four 1/8 inch disks of cucumber (quartered),
One and a half sticks of string cheese,
Seven and a half pretzels.
The carefully planned healthy lunch.
ENJOY
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:36 pm rating: 0
#50 Writer, Rejected
Wait. Is she saying that pretzels are healthy now! Pretzels? That’s outrageous. If so, I’m going down to the Cumby’s right now and buying myself some bags of Rolds Golds, and I’m going to feel good about it. Usually I just suffer through a bunch of rotting lettuce, which even OCD-fridge cleaner knows not to touch.
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:41 pm rating: 0
#51 Mitsu
how could they write such a good PA note while in a diabetic coma? Wow.
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:48 pm rating: 0
#52 Midleah
Darn. I thought Canthz were leading up to a MasterCard “priceless” joke…
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:49 pm rating: 0
#53 Mishee
Follow up to #49 -
(for Midleah)
… Being able to eat your lunch without worrying it will be thrown out: Priceless
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:55 pm rating: 0
#54 Mitsu
LOL, the “growing their own colony” is great! Speaking of that, the 2 fridges at my workplace have things that grew their own colonies, and now the fridges are infested by…
FRIDGE HEISA MONSTERS!!!!
Nov 8, 2007 at 3:55 pm rating: 0
#55 Canthz_B
#52, I “were”!
Nov 8, 2007 at 4:04 pm rating: 0
#56 Canthz_B
*romaine* right?
Nov 8, 2007 at 4:07 pm rating: 0
#57 Lara
But what if someone had taken the insulin, then found out there was no lunch? Diabetics need to eat after they take an injection.
Or what if there were plutonium rods in there, which are even now heating up to an unsafe temperature.? Now you have a freaking MASS MURDERER!
Or what if there was a goldfish in there that someone won at a street fair on their lunch hour? FISH KILLER!
So many things Mr./Ms. OCD didn’t consider when on their cleaning spree.
Nov 8, 2007 at 4:09 pm rating: 0
#58 DJ CELSIUS
very nice!! Some very impressice passive agression going on here
Nov 8, 2007 at 4:13 pm rating: 0
#59 A.A guy
Who the hell refrigerates pretzels?
Nov 8, 2007 at 4:19 pm rating: 0
#60 Izzy
Or, you know, they could have thrown their own lunch away and got something unhealthy instead. Perhaps the note-writer didn’t consider this obvious possibility. You ARE allowed to throw your own lunch away.
Nov 8, 2007 at 4:29 pm rating: 0
#61 Wade
nice one, Dr AZ!
Nov 8, 2007 at 5:27 pm rating: 0
#62 GVI
Congrats to the Dr.
Nov 8, 2007 at 5:33 pm rating: 0
#63 anglophile
I’ll tell you what. If it was real personal Tupperware (love the carefully capitalize brand name!), I would be flipping pissed if it didn’t show up empty in the fridge the next day. It’s one thing to be out impersonal Gladware, but to be out the good stuff, that’s worse than tossing someone’s insulin. That stuff ain’t cheap.
Nov 8, 2007 at 5:34 pm rating: 0
#64 DrAstroZoom
::sniffles:: Thank you all!
Nov 8, 2007 at 5:35 pm rating: 0
#65 WanderingPenguin
LMAO A.A Guy. I hadn’t thought of that. That’s too funny!
Nov 8, 2007 at 6:02 pm rating: 0
#66 shelly
Why would someone put their insulin in a communal refrigerator?
This note is definitely one of my favorites. It’s absolutely crazy.
Nov 8, 2007 at 6:22 pm rating: 0
#67 Mishee
#35 Dr Zoom - but what if a local skateboarder is using the microwave and burns it up? Then you are screwed! (Congrats on getting Word!)
Nov 8, 2007 at 6:52 pm rating: 0
#68 morpho aurora
don’t forget the possums mish
(i wonder if they heat up in 90 seconds too)
nice going dr
Nov 8, 2007 at 7:00 pm rating: 0
#69 juan
ocd: stop screwing around other fridges. stick to your own fridge, dammit.
hungry: put a label on your lunch bag/box & put a sock in it.
now everybody get back to work!
Nov 8, 2007 at 7:09 pm rating: 0
#70 DirtyOldLady
“You just caused a diabetic coma! Now what are you going to do?”
“…I’m going to DisneyWorld!”
Nov 8, 2007 at 7:25 pm rating: 0