i think what fascinates me most about this e-mail, from the head of the party planning committee — excuse me, “fun fund” — at an office in toronto, is the subject line. not only does the writer ignore the obvious “let them eat cake,” she vetoes the direct approach (”hey, fatty“) in favor of the utterly nonsensical “for your records.”
(click to enlarge!)
related: if you can afford $10 worth of flair…
293 responses so far ↓
#1
Andy
Wow. Milton from “Office Space” would love this place.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:37 am rating: +4
#2
hannibal
That cake and fruit was . . . sigh.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: +5
#3
Mishee
That cake and fruit was fucking delicious… sorry, just HAD to do it…
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: +1
#4
Mishee
LMAO Hanibal…!! hee hee hee!
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
#5
Andy
I love that they request the company screech to a halt for cake day. Is this real, anyway? Especially with last night’s “The Office” birthday party debacle?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:41 am rating: 0
#6
Writer, Rejected
I don’t know. Seems like this could be the type of person who is always “just mentioning stuff,” which is annoying. And the truth of the matter is that a lot of us just plain feel entitled to cake and fruit, whether we pay or not. And *some* of us apparently feel entitled to A LOT of cake and fruit, which is just how it is in life. As for the whole managing the managers because cake and fruit day only happens once a month, why not make every day cake and fruit day? We work hard at our jobs, we feel entitled, why not just make it happen?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: +1
#7
Dimwit
Rather than eating all of the fruit and cake, I’d just lick it. That way I could go to my (pointless) meetings, and still have f.d. cake and fruit when I was done.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:51 am rating: 0
#8
Mishee
Maybe claw works here… and he is consuming all of the cake and fruit… or it’s Jake….
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:53 am rating: 0
#9
Midleah
I’m with Andy. This reeks of Office Space.
Is it really passive-aggressive? Seems more anal-retentive to me.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 0
#10
the dawd
Sorry boss, i know that this client meeting is crucial, but it is cake and fruit day. I payed $2.50 Canadian to get some of this cake and fruit, and i can not afford to miss this.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:58 am rating: +1
#11
Canthz_B
That must be some serious cake and exotic fruit for such anger over having missed some until next month! Is that Meth cake?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#12
the dawd
I wonder if i still get cake after forgetting to use a cover sheet on the TPS report?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#13
the dawd
Where is Terrible Terry Tate when you need him?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: +1
#14
Canthz_B
“Oh God, I feel terrible this morning. I think I’ll call in sick…OH WAIT…It’s cake and fruit day! Lemme get a shower.”
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: 0
#15
WanderingPenguin
I swear to God…..stop saying “cake and fruit”…..and……enough with the ellipses already…..or…..no…..that’s about it.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: +1
#16
Canthz_B
Is this a perfume company…we may be missing hidden meanings here…
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:03 pm rating: 0
#17
the dawd
That gourmet meth cake was fucking delicious, and production is up 46%!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#18
KarenLW
They tried the monthly fruitcake, but no one put in to the kitty – so now they separate the cake and fruit.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#19
WanderingPenguin
$2.50 Canadian is about $6.75 US by now, isn’t it, dawd?
I’d really like to know what they are “singing” before they eat their cake and…. ok, I’m not going to finish that. But seriously? Is it some kind of cult?
We love you ca-a-ake
Oh, yes, we do-o
We love you ca-a-ake
And fru-uit too-oo…
Or is it more like chanting?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:05 pm rating: +2
#20
WanderingPenguin
Nice one, Karen!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:05 pm rating: 0
#21
Adam Amato
Team Let them eat fruit and cake!!!
The guy from Office Space that mumbles is behind this message im sure…
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:06 pm rating: 0
#22
Midleah
Cake and fruit…is this a Canadian thing?
Why is this “fun”, and why is there a fund for it?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: 0
#23
KarenLW
Yep, it takes me the entire workweek (should that be hyphenated?) to come up with one semi-clever line. arrrrgh
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: 0
#24
sunlotus
That cake and fruit MUST have been fucking delicious for everyone to scarf it all up before the meeting was over.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#25
Mitsu
Lol, this is funny, but true! We have a cake and fruit day once a month too (to celebrate everyon’e birthdays during that month, but we just call it cake day). Anyways, skinny people like me have to volunteer with the set-up, so that we get to have our cake first, before the fatties get to it! I completely understand this! They can always get seconds if there’s leftovers!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#26
Mitsu
Midleah : yes, this is definitely a Canadian thing.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#27
Andy
I’d much rather chip in $2.50/month to be able to kick one co-worker square in the nether regions without penalty.
Or, is that’s what is meant by “cake and fruit”?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: +2
#28
morpho aurora
geez if she is going to be this picky, instead of sending this out she could just print out a list every month of people who are paid up, check the names off as people pick up their single servings, and then make up little plates for the late comers and put them to the side.
sort of daycare-ish but so is the tone of this note
we will all learn about sharing today!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: 0
#29
WanderingPenguin
My better half has a “cake meeting” several times a month to celebrate birthdays or what have you. I should ask her what they sing there.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: 0
#30
Mitsu
We don’t sing at ours, everyone just comes in, stuffs their faces and then leaves.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:11 pm rating: 0
#31
Andy
Well, I’d sing:
“Happy Birthday To You
And also fuck you
You all are so stupid
Just jump of a cliff.”
Yeah, it doesn’t rhyme, but it’s more the thought that counts.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: +1
#32
the dawd
We do not have cake and fruit day in our office, but one of the other offices started having free Haagen Das ice cream. They ran out the first day.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#33
Canthz_B
Of more concern is how little does one have to be paid to sweat $2.00 (US or Can.) per month?
Get yourself a Drakes or Hostess fruit pie if you had to actually do your job while others ate cake! What is this, the French Revolution?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:14 pm rating: 0
#34
Midleah
LOL Andy, that might be more aptly named “twig and berries” day.
I’d pay a lot more than $2.50 for that.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#35
WanderingPenguin
Sounds like someone didn’t get enough cake and fruit as a child, huh, Andy?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#36
Mitsu
The sad part is that all those who are on “diets” eat the most cake every cake day. I like making comments like “well, there go your calories for the rest of the day! I suppose you won’t be able to eat supper after this!” It makes them feel really guilty.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: +1
#37
Midleah
Moo at them. They hate that.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#38
the dawd
Those twig and berries were…never mind
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#39
WanderingPenguin
If the entire C&F procedure takes a “mere 8mins” (BTW, I love that it’s such a random figure) and this person is suggesting that you can take a 5-minute break from your meeting to walk over and get some C&F, does that mean that whatever they sing takes at least 3 minutes? Holy hell, there have been some entire radio hits that haven’t lasted 3 minutes. Now I am obsessed: just wth are they singing??
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:19 pm rating: +1
#40
WanderingPenguin
Wow, Mitsu! Meow!
Thank God I don’t work with you!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#41
Reality
I think I love this note, but print is too small for me to read I cannot find my glasses. I can see comments though is there a way to enlarge note.
C B are you laughing ’cause I called in sick! But no cake in house. I guess I will have to eat just fruit. Dang I should have went to work, maybe they had cake….lol
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:21 pm rating: 0
#42
Liz
Umm…actually were are going to have to just push that meeting back. My appologies, but I have to make it to cake and fruit day.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
#43
WanderingPenguin
Reality, as it says in parentheses right before the note itself, you can click on the note to enlarge it.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#44
WanderingPenguin
But Liz, you only have to push it back 5 minutes. It says so right in the memo! Just tell them you’re about to go into a diabetic coma because of the bastard who stole your insulin up on the 12th floor. I am sure they will understand!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: 0
#45
Liz
________________(flat line)
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
#46
Mitsu
WP: I only say it to those who always come up to me and go “I’m so fat! I hate myself! I’m dieting to lose x amount of pounds! I can only eat this, this and this for the whole day!”
I’m thinking, I don’t really care.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
#47
Mitsu
PS: Dalton McGuinty is HOT!!!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:29 pm rating: 0
#48
Midleah
WP…beautiful segue.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#49
WanderingPenguin
Oh, no, Liz! Too late! Didn’t they save you your piece of cake and some fruit? Shame on them!
Mitsu: I know the type. I don’t really care, either.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#50
Andy
@WP: Oh, I’ve had plenty of cake. It’s just I want it on my terms, not dictated to me by some fascist cake-and-fruit-party-organizer.
Besides, I just love to be the pebble in the boot of the man.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#51
Mitsu
LOL! I just had to bring that up…I miss seeing him on TV…
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#52
Canthz_B
#41, That reminds me of an “Our Gang” short!!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#53
Wade
#39 I laughed at that too, WP.
I noticed she didn’t allow for travel time from the desk to the singing. That would consume a least 2-3 minutes, and throw the schedule off for the rest of the day.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:33 pm rating: 0
#54
Canthz_B
Andy…Were you the voice of “Pebbles Flintstone”?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: 0
#55
Canthz_B
They could always leave off “How old are you now…“!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#56
WanderingPenguin
Maybe she did allow travel time and it only takes 3 minutes to get your C&F. Maybe the singing is 5 minutes!
You know, if that were the case, they’d have to pay me to eat their damned cake and a bit of fruit – and a lot more than $2.50 a month in any currency!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#57
Midleah
I think a scale and a full-length mirror, strategically placed next to the c/f table would bring c/f day over-indulgence to an abrupt end.
But then Ms. Party Planner wouldn’t know how to fill her days.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:39 pm rating: 0
#58
WanderingPenguin
Hmm. I just re-read your comment, Wade, and I think I misinterpreted it.
Oh well, I stand by what I said about the 5-minute chanting. Erm, singing.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:39 pm rating: 0
#59
WanderingPenguin
Would the scale be so people would have to weigh themselves before and after indulging to ensure they didn’t get an extra helping? See, I’d be all for that.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
#60
a happier girl
I’m surprised the Fun Fund committee doesn’t just take roll and ration out portions for people if they’re that worried about the distribution of the cake and fruit. And why does it have to be referred to as “cake and fruit” every time. Are their no appropriate general terms that could work like say, “food” or maybe just “some.”
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#61
Reality
Thank You W.P.
Thought I was really going blind. I really do not understand the places where they have to have trears I say bring your own.
I bet they sing Kumbuya!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#62
Reality
That was suposed to be TREATS! I better find glasses.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:47 pm rating: 0
#63
Juliet
The comments here are way more interesting than this note could ever be.
At my last workplace we had ‘treat Wednesday’ and everyone on staff would take turns bringing in something for everyone to share. If you were away, tough. They should screw the $2.50 and just take turns. I wouldn’t chip in money for fruit and cake.
It amazed me all the cake and candy brought in, more than I’d buy or eat at home. I went from looking like a malnourished adult to looking like a normal, healthy adult due to ‘treat Wednesday’.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:57 pm rating: 0
#64
WanderingPenguin
But Juliet, it’s not “fruit and cake”, it’s “cake and fruit”. Wouldn’t that be so much better?
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:00 pm rating: 0
#65
WanderingPenguin
Uh, I sure hope Troy doesn’t mind, but….
We Just Want The Fun Fund
An email in the morning light
It says, “We all need to prioritize our time right.
Schedule your meetings better or you’ll get none,
-A message from the Fun Fund”,
Oh, bless the office Fun Fund!
The cake’s served in the middle of the day,
The staff all sing an extra-long “Happy Birthday!”
There’s fruit as well but please just only take one,
Or else those late will get none.
Oh, bless the office Fun Fund!
That’s what you’re paying fo-o-o-o-o-o-or:
A “Fun Fu-u-u-u-u-u-und”,
When the working month is done,
There’s Cake and Fruit from the Fun Fund,
Oh, bless the office Fun Fund!
“My manager ran that meeting too long
And now I find that all the cake and fruit is gone!
I paid $2.50 and I think that it’s wrong,
Oh, damn you, office Fun Fund,
I hate you, office Fun Fund!”
I’m so hungry! I’m so hungry-y-y! (repeat)
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: +1
#66
EmeraldMPH
Team Just buy enough cake and fruit for everyone and put it on the company tab, instead of having everyone pay for their own birthday cake, ffs.
I know at my organization every single time senior leadership has a meeting they get boxed lunches brought in special (this is at least 2-3 times a week), which runs a few hundred dollars a pop, yet our department isn’t allowed to buy a birthday cake once a month.
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#67
Canthz_B
So…can we infer from this note that there is punch-a-plenty?
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:10 pm rating: 0
#68
unholyghost2003
$2.50 (USD or CD) should get everyone 1/2 a pack of Fig Newtons that can be delivered to their desk or meeting. Fig Newtons are not cookies, they’re Fruit and Cake!
(As a child I never understood why anyone would think saying something ISN’T a cookie but IS “Fruit and Cake” would be a good thing. “Fruit and Cake” always sounded like a horrible combination. Now that I learn that the “Fruit and Cake” combination is a Canadian institution, it makes a bit more sense.)
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:12 pm rating: 0
#69
Canthz_B
“Hey Hugh! I see that paper saucer in your trashcan! I paid $2.50 for a plate of cake and fruit and you didn’t chip in a cent! Pony up $2.50 right now or I’ll see you in the parking lot after work!”
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:14 pm rating: 0
#70
WanderingPenguin
Pffft@ #70.
And yet, Fig Newtons are an American invention. Go figure!
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#71
WanderingPenguin
CB, see, if that were to happen I would go around at the end of every month and put my paper plate in the trash can of some jackass who wasn’t in the “Fun Fund” just to get him in trouble!
But hey, that’s just me….
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: 0
#72
Andy
CB (#55): Thanks for waking me up after lunch, I had to think about that for a second… LOL
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: 0
#73
Canthz_B
No problem Uncle Andy!
Yeah WP, we invented Newtons, our Northern cousins just adopted them.
Musical trashcans sounds like the extra “fun” in “Fun Fund”!
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:23 pm rating: 0
#74
anglophile
Screw the cake and fruit. I want chocolate and shots.
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#75
mamason
8 minutes… seriously? Cake and fruit AND singing! Man, Canadians really know how to throw down!
Oh by the way, f___ you Mitsu on behalf of the “fatties” of the world.
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:42 pm rating: +2
#76
Ariadne
#19 – LMFAO @ the cake cult, WP! Do they wear cake-shaped hats? Have fancy cake-eating forks reserved only for the occasion??
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:43 pm rating: +1
#77
Ariadne
Who needs fruit? I would demand to pay only $2.00 for cake alone.
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm rating: +1
#78
Canthz_B
You had to know that was coming Mitsu! LOL
See ya tonight mamason?
Some of us appreciate a full-figure!
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm rating: 0
#79
Lurker
OK, OK, OK, I know what we can do. On the first of every month when the Fun Fund Subscribers bring in their $2.50 (exact change, please!) they can also fill out a Fun Fund Cake And Fruit Monthly Schedule Survey (FFCAFMSS) with all their meetings that might conflict with Cake and Fruit Day, and then Sherry can compile all the FFCAFMSS’s into a Master FFCAFMSS (MFFCAFMSS) which we can post in the break room, and everybody can use sticky dots to vote for their top three choices of when to have cake and fruit. Nancy can do an Excel sheet to tabulate all the votes, and then we’ll know when the best time to eat our cake and fruit. We’ll do the same thing for deciding what song to sing before we eat our cake and fruit. And no, Bobbie, it can’t be the Titanic theme again.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:00 pm rating: +2
#80
morpho aurora
#76 – great idea anglophile
team chocolate and shots – helps the day go faster
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:01 pm rating: 0
#81
Leslie
I have had to plan a few thankless get-togethers in the past. I bet she wrote this because a bunch of people were bitching to her about not getting their cake and fruit.
Team you’ll never catch my ass being party planner again
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:06 pm rating: 0
#82
mamason
CB- be still my over worked heart! Is 8:00 good for you? I should be done eating by then.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#83
WanderingPenguin
We could cut it down to only 6 1/2 minutes if we just sing while we’re eating the cake. Of course, one session of that would pretty much ensure there’d be extra cake and fruit to go around at the end of the next month.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:23 pm rating: 0
#84
WanderingPenguin
BTW, the song for #67 is “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. Thought maybe y’all were confused.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:26 pm rating: 0
#85
WanderingPenguin
And WTG Andy, on the Word!
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:26 pm rating: 0
#86
Wade
I think changing “some of you” to “I” in the first sentence gets to the heart of the matter.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
#87
Eddie I.
I can’t read this post without thinking about “cake or death?”
“At this rate, we’re going to run out of cake!”
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: 0
#88
unholyghost2003
Death! … I mean cake!
Oh no, you said death first
but I wanted cake
oh all right!
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:44 pm rating: 0
#89
Reality
“I’m Late, I’m Late”
“I’m Late for fruit and cake”
“No time to lose,no time to wait”
“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late”
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:47 pm rating: 0
#90
Reality
This PAN stuff is so addictive. I went out for a walk and the whole time that ryhme kept going trough my head until I had to come home and post this.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:50 pm rating: +1
#91
WanderingPenguin
Did you by any chance pass through any mirrors on your walk? No, of course not – then you would have had to change your name. Silly me.
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
#92
PixelPerfect
I love the “let them eat cake” reference… Cake!
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:53 pm rating: 0
#93
Canthz_B
Don’t have dessert mamason…I have cake and fruit…put that where you want it!
Nov 9, 2007 at 2:53 pm rating: 0
#94
Wade
CAKE!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd34vJohGXc
sorry, couldn’t resist.
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:11 pm rating: 0
#95
Team Cassandra
Ok.
Well, that just made me lose my appetite for cake and fruit entirely.
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#96
Andy Warhol
The workplace is full of savage beasts who will eat all the copy paper if told they could…
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:27 pm rating: 0
#97
GhostWriter
…sung to “Camelot”
An Office Rule was made some time ago here,
Our monthly birthdays all would share the loot.
We’d meet for eight long minutes and disperse here,
the Cake & Fruit.
But office meetings grew in their durations
Some begged to leave- their wishes judged as moot.
So sat they with their unrequited passions
for Cake & Fruit.
Cake & Fruit! Cake & Fruit!
I know it seems sufficient funds,
But for Cake & Fruit, Cake & Fruit,
Two-fifty barely pays for one!
So, kindly please excuse the meeting members,
and take, oh, but a taste of each dessert.
Don’t gorge in your pursuit-
In short, it isn’t cute,
Consider that the meeting members languish
For Cake & Fruit
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm rating: 0
#98
Wade
What is the point of scurrying out of your cubicle, singing songs, nibbling a taste of cake and fruit, and scurrying back to your cubicle, all in the span of 8 minutes?
Is interacting beyond a 10 minute span that painful in Toronto?
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm rating: 0
#99
Mishee
LOL! GW! Didn’t expect THAT did ya?!
#99 Andy – In case you don’t know, or care to know the copy paper goes into the copy room…
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:37 pm rating: 0
#100
mamason
Ah… if only there was pudding.
Nov 9, 2007 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
#101
mamason
There are entitlement issues here! … so everyone entitled… you are rightfuly entitled… $2.50 a month entitles you… Hey, entitles doesn’t even look like a word anymore.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:00 pm rating: +1
#102
Space Monkey
#19 WP- ” We love you c-a-ake”….or whatever. Hysterical as hell!
#81-Lurker- Almost peed my pants.
#83- forgot who- LOL Go Team Go!
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:09 pm rating: 0
#103
Mitsu
#77: I have nothing against fat people, that is, those who are fat and happy.
I hate the ones who are constantly whining about it, and not doing anything to change.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:10 pm rating: 0
#104
Canthz_B
In the eye of the beholder Mitsu!
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:14 pm rating: 0
#105
KarenLW
Oh my…our fridge is in the copy room…with the copy paper…and I may use a piece of copy paper as a placemat for my plate of cake and fruit…or Fig Newton… and I do measure out pretzels and keep them in the fridge…oh my…I digress.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:15 pm rating: 0
#106
Writer, Rejected
I’m for vodka shots and chocolate pudding. I’d pay way more than $2USD a month for that combo. I betcha’ no one would schedule a boring meeting over that office tradition. They both slide down so nice and easy.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
#107
Joe
Help… I’m searching around, trying to figure out where the hell the “fucking delicious” thing came from….
would anyone care to help? Sorry for the hijack.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:19 pm rating: 0
#108
unholyghost2003
Writer Rejected @ 112 the problem is they both slide UP easy too!
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:32 pm rating: 0
#109
unholyghost2003
Joe,
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/06/16/the-first-thing-i-did-when-i-woke-up/
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:35 pm rating: 0
#110
mamason
What if I’m fat and happy to whine about it?
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:40 pm rating: 0
#111
Mishee
#111 Karen – I would definitely use the copy paper as a placemat – you never know when the Janitors will “over-spay” and then not wipe up the counters afterwards!
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:42 pm rating: 0
#112
KarenLW
LOL Mishee…I completely forgot about those poor spayed (g)nats…thanks for the giggle.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:50 pm rating: 0
#113
Midleah
If I may…
I think Mitsu was venting about the people who go on and on about their weight problems, then turn around and stuff their faces with not only their portions, but the portions of those that haven’t had any yet (and had paid for it). That just might piss me off enough to slip up and slander a fattie, too.
Nov 9, 2007 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
#114
mamason
CB, that list was f___ing delicious!
Mitsu, don’t be so defensive about your obvious hatred of fat people. lol. I just like picking on you and I don’t care.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:05 pm rating: +1
#115
Canthz_B
I can’t wait to see the two of you in 20 years when in someone else’s eyes YOU are considered to be a “fattie”.(sic)
How can you utter such hurtful terms? How shallow you show yourselves to be. How self-absorbed.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:06 pm rating: 0
#116
Canthz_B
What bugs me is that I did not, and have never picked on Mitsu…..or “them”.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:08 pm rating: 0
#117
morpho aurora
#27 – andy where can i sign up for that club – and can i pay an extra $5 to kick them twice?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:09 pm rating: 0
#118
Canthz_B
Mamason, Is it my fault they don’t know how to work it?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:10 pm rating: 0
#119
mamason
Midleah: You might slander a fattie? You and Mitsu sound like people who claim not to be racist when they use the N-word, cuz you know, there are N’s and then there are black people and you don’t mind blacks, right? So no, you may not. And f___ you too! I would suggest you think about what you have done. And I mean it too! Thank you Terry.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:14 pm rating: 0
#120
Andy
#129 – morpho: For you, I’ll even let you put on steel-toed boots!
Wait. You weren’t going take a kick at me, were you?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:18 pm rating: 0
#121
Canthz_B
Don’t sweat it mamason! These cretins have never heard of metabolism. They think that every “fat person” overeats. Just another sign of things left yet to be learned.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:19 pm rating: 0
#122
Midleah
People eating others’ food?
THAT’S shallow and self-absorbed.
And…hey…I was just trying to help. No good deed goes unpunished, eh?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:24 pm rating: 0
#123
Canthz_B
Hll, I’m underweight and I’m not even thinking of buying a damned Bowflex!
I’m good, deal with it!
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:27 pm rating: 0
#124
Canthz_B
I’m sorry….where did anyone say that that was ok?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:28 pm rating: 0
#125
Midleah
Wow, did I ever wander into the wrong room. I’ll be on my way now. If I have offended any overweight people, my apologies. For the record, I’ve been all over the scale myself. ;p
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:31 pm rating: 0
#126
Canthz_B
Anyway, since you went there…eating others’ food is inconsiderate. Judging people by their appearance is prejudice.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: 0
#127
chippy vonnoseoutofjoint
oh puh-LEEZE….it’s almost NEVER about the metabolism …. fat people have an excuse for everything under the sun which is fine if you just STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT ….and if you can’t be bothered actually reading what mitsu wrote before attacking her well then you just suck… even a two-year-old could understand that she said she was sick of people coming up to her UNPROVOKED AND UNINVITED and saying “oh I WISH I was able to stick to my diet and had more time to exercise and I HATE the way I look….” and then going out and eating everyone else’s cake…. and then Mrs. Oversensitive Tubbie McFatbottom plays the RACE CARD? …. holy overreacting, Batman…. just a lil ol’ observation from another lurker…. y’all get back to your schoolyard bullying and don’t mind me….
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: 0
#128
WanderingPenguin
Nah, Midleah, just a regular Friday thing around here, I think. We run out of things to say about the actual note and, well…things go squirrelly. There should be a new note up on Sunday evening, usually, so why don’tcha head on back then?
If you’re lucky, there will be cake and no fruit.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:36 pm rating: 0
#129
WanderingPenguin
Do remember, Wade, that I am speaking as a Torontonian. Not that you would get a different answer about Toronto from anywhere else in Canada, eh?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:37 pm rating: 0
#130
mamason
Tell me what you want
what you really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want
what I really, really want.
I wanna, (burp)
I wanna, (burp)
I wanna, (burp)
I wanna, (burp)
I wanna really, really, really, really, really big cake!
If you wanna be my lover,
you gotta come with some cake.
Break out Nana’s cookbook,
not some easy bake.
If you wanna be my lover
you have got to be
like a gourmet baker.
No tasty- cake for me.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:38 pm rating: 0
#131
chippy vonnoseoutofjoint
so it wasn’t ok for mitsu to throw the word “fatties” into a sentence for fun and then go on and explain EXACTLY what she meant… but it WAS ok for mamson to say “f___ you mitsu” and then make a rude generalizing comment about Canadians? but only MITSU has to apologize? if you want to take everything literally then I guess you better widen the net a bit… really, I don’t care, I just love it when y’all gang up and get all high and mighty with your “you owe us an apology” crap…. keep it up!
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:43 pm rating: 0
#132
WanderingPenguin
Was that rhetorical, Mishee?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:43 pm rating: 0
#133
WanderingPenguin
Oh, maybe you haven’t missed out at all, Mishee. I, however, have to leave. Have fun!
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:44 pm rating: 0
#134
marguerite
I’m not sure what difference it would make if the endocrinologist was practicing or not, what I want to know, what makes those cakes gourmet?
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:44 pm rating: 0
#135
mamason
“Tubby McFatbottom”. (rotflmao) Oh phooey, now the new name doesn’t work.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:45 pm rating: 0
#136
Reality
I love the word “Squirrelly”!
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:48 pm rating: 0
#137
wickedgirl
I wonder what they sing…….. kind of scary actually, maybe I don’t want to know.
Nov 9, 2007 at 5:55 pm rating: 0
#138
Mishee
wickedgirl, they probably sing something cheesy like “Jolly Good Fellow” (SOOOO sexist!) or perhaps any song by the band Cake ??
I can just imagine that…
“He’s going the distance,
He’s going for speed,
She’s all alone,
All alone in her time of need…”
Nov 9, 2007 at 6:06 pm rating: 0
#139
mamason
#160: I too, love the word squirrelly.
#165: I think they sing “Oh, Canada”.
Just for the record:
I’m sorry for all the contention.
It’s hard to see all this dissention.
It’s all so absurd,
Over one little word.
And it frankly was not my intention.
Nov 9, 2007 at 6:10 pm rating: 0
#140
Canthz_B
LOL “Canthz ‘Scarface’ B” ! LMAO
Nov 9, 2007 at 6:12 pm rating: 0
#141
A.A guy
FIGHT. FIGHT. LUCY AND SNOOPY ARE HAVING A FIGHT.
Nov 9, 2007 at 6:46 pm rating: 0
#142
A.A guy
This note is obviously not from a company anywhere near Church and Wellsley because every day down there is cake and…….never mind.
Nov 9, 2007 at 6:49 pm rating: +1
#143
A.A guy
C.B + MMS +MISH+CVJ
+Large Cage
+10,000 screaming red necks
= The end of the WWF
Nov 9, 2007 at 6:53 pm rating: 0
#144
no name slob
Cake and fruit, cake and fruit, cake and fruit…
Nov 9, 2007 at 7:02 pm rating: 0
#145
Team Cassandra
ps. this has got to be somewhere pretty fruity in Toronto because I have never, in my life, heard of cake and fruit day.
And I only WISH I was allowed to force people to sing to get cake and fruit. That would prolly fulfill all of my base needs right there.
Nov 9, 2007 at 8:01 pm rating: 0
#146
Team Cassandra
*sing to get cake and fruit at the office, that is.
Nov 9, 2007 at 8:03 pm rating: 0
#147
dicky49
Can the cake and fruit. I want to see the end of the WWF…. go for it!
Nov 9, 2007 at 8:38 pm rating: 0
#148
Canthz_B
Someone can go for it, but I’m not going to ruin my buzz…beer costs $$ and I’m not wasting it!
Nov 9, 2007 at 8:47 pm rating: 0
#149
amazon
Andy, you’re not a serial commenter, but whenever you do comment, it is gold!
Nov 9, 2007 at 8:48 pm rating: 0
#150
Andy
amazon: Why, thank you. Yes, I’m more of a opportunistic commenter, now that you mention it.
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:08 pm rating: 0
#151
dicky49
BTW, it’s not just chubby people who take other people’s food at the get-togethers. I’ve seen plenty of skinnies pulling this stunt. An inconsiderate hog is an inconsiderate hog and let the shoe fit, so to speak.
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:18 pm rating: 0
#152
Ozymandias
Hey Andy, #27 (going way back) and reality, #160, both your posts deal with ‘nuts’ (tangentially speaking). I think it should be the fruit ‘n’ nuts day, or cake and same.
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:33 pm rating: 0
#153
Wade
At some point, this thread moved from fruit and cakes to fruitcakes.
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:50 pm rating: 0
#154
Troy McClure
No thanks to me, a bumper crop of tunes today:
WP, #67: mind? You’ve made my day! If this isn’t what they sing at Cake And Fruit, it should be.
Gw, #100: nice one. I can’t place this tune. Sounds like something from ABBA?
PASHY at #154.
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:52 pm rating: 0
#155
Canthz_B
I resemble that remark too, Wade! LOL
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:53 pm rating: 0
#156
Wade
Troy
Richard Harris singing Camelot #100
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCtselIX4yg
it takes almost a minute for the song to start
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:58 pm rating: 0
#157
Ozymandias
Maybe they are singing tunes from the classic hits of the pantheon of PAN– that would take up 5 minutes, at least, then throw in the national anthem for good measure, and ‘ten green bottles.
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:58 pm rating: 0
#158
Ozymandias
#190, I was waiting for that joke. Or ‘fruitcakes’ and ‘nuts’?
Nov 9, 2007 at 9:59 pm rating: 0
#159
Canthz_B
Ozy…given the mix do we sing “Oh, Canada” or “The Star-Spangled Banner”?…Hope I left no one out…if so it was unintentional.
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:01 pm rating: 0
#160
Wade
well, oz, after reading the posts by ranty mcstickupherass, the fruitcake reference was inevitable.
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:04 pm rating: 0
#161
Wade
ROFL, C-B.
Godwin would be proud.
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:11 pm rating: 0
#162
Ozymandias
CB, re #199, depends on which one most people know the words to. Or if anyone does actually know the words, which could also explain why it takes so long to sing.
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:12 pm rating: 0
#163
Canthz_B
I know “TSSB”, but only the first two words of ” Oh, Canada”…well I’m done singing that one! LOL
Wade…Just trying to make sure we have covered all of the bases. We did the note, had a spat, had our down time, and honored Godwin. If that don’t do it, it’s gonna be a loooong weekend Buddy!
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:18 pm rating: 0
#164
lola
A little late, but…
Andy, #31 was awesome and might have to be passed along to some people in need of a cake-day giggle. Oops, cake and FRUIT day giggle.
Can’t forget the fucking fruit.
Ffffat fat fatty fat walrus (I may have too many or too few fats in there) – gotta love me some Broderick
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:22 pm rating: 0
#165
summer
i love this website, and am officially addicted. will not be able to keep up with the witty comments, no email at work.
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 0
#166
suhayla
When I used to get the cake once a month I used to have to bring pieces to peoples desks and let everybody fight over what was left over. There was not singing, though, and the fruit was usually some tinned variety strewn on top of the cake.
BTW: Kinda strange that tongue in cheek racist comments are defended elsewhere while comments about chubby people are maligned…
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:40 pm rating: 0
#167
WanderingPenguin
Back for a quick post.
Just so everyone knows, there’s no “h” in O Canada. So CB, sorry to say, but you only really know the second word!
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:53 pm rating: 0
#168
WanderingPenguin
You know, come to think of it…the title is actually written O Canada!.
However, CB still has the second word right.
Nov 9, 2007 at 10:56 pm rating: 0
#169
A.A guy
We’re not a real country anyway.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: +1
#170
A.A guy
CB did you go to school with George Bush?LOL
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:04 pm rating: 0
#171
A.A guy
I would’nt mind hearing the words “oh Canada” if they happened while something soft was digging her nails into my back.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:07 pm rating: 0
#172
WanderingPenguin
LMAO A.A.G. Very nice reference.
With our beady little eyes and flapping heads so full of lies…
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:09 pm rating: 0
#173
Ozymandias
Random linguistic point – Japanese has an honorific ‘O’, too – but it gets applied to all manner of things (not just maple leaves and dignitaries): lunchboxes, customers, things I can’t remember now. So, a lunchbox (or a meal in a lunchbox) is a ‘bento’, but is often called obento, to honour the lunch, I guess. Or the maker thereof.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:11 pm rating: 0
#174
Ozymandias
#214 I don’t know that those words would be whispered if ‘it’ were soft??? Leaving now, things to be done.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
#175
WanderingPenguin
So Sadaharu Oh’s real name is Sadaharu H… but he’s really honourable? See, that makes sense to me.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
#176
Ozymandias
He’d use a different character (though I get the joke). The honorific ‘o’ comes from the hiragana alphabet which is phonetic. His name would probably come from the Chinese derived kanji characters.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 0
#177
Canthz_B
Did not mean to offend WP…I honestly did not know that.
Suhayla…because a joke of a racial nature is not necessarily racist. The comments made about the overweight were just nasty and mean…there was no humor even attempted there, just expressions of contempt.
Please do not compare apples and oranges in the future.
Thank you.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:25 pm rating: 0
#178
A.A guy
Thanks WP,that movie and anything with Bob and Doug in it really illustrate our ability to collectively laugh at ourselves as a country.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:27 pm rating: 0
#179
A.A guy
Well if we combined a racial joke with a fat joke and called mamason a chunk,would that be funny?
Just asking.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:36 pm rating: 0
#180
Canthz_B
Must be a Canadian reference…I don’t have any racial feeling from “Chunk”.
However as I said before making fun of stereotypes (we all have them) is a joke, in my opinion.
Believing in them is….well just sad.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
#181
A.A guy
The South Park movie where the U.S declares war on Canada due to Clarance and Philips’ TV show.I can’t remember the exact title.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:01 am rating: 0
#182
Mishee
AA Guy:
Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (The name of the SP movie)
or
Asses of Fire? (The T&P Movie that caused the war)
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:14 am rating: 0
#183
WanderingPenguin
And the quote is from the lyrics to Blame Canada, which was actually nominated for an Oscar ® that year! It was pretty funny to see Robin Williams sing it at the Academy Awards, too….
CB, absolutely no offence taken and I mean that. In point of fact, as I was typing that my better half was here looking over my shoulder and her exact words to me were, “Really? No ‘h’? Wow – I had no idea!” And, you know, she lives here and all.
A.A.G. – I got the chunk joke. I don’t think mamason is a Chinese reference, though.
It sounds like Japanese, but I’d wager it’s actually neither.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:21 am rating: 0
#184
WanderingPenguin
You know, while I am thinking about SP,B,L & U, I have to say that that movie is one of the best musicals I have ever seen. Every song in it is brilliant and spot-on. Absolute comedic genius, in my opinion. I have always said that if the guys who did Looney Tunes back in the 30s had been born 60 years later, they would have come up with South Park.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:23 am rating: 0
#185
Mishee
I’d have to say the best thing in that movie is when Windows 98 crashed in the middle of the war debriefing… and then they shot Gates in the head when he tried to explain it…
PURE GENIUS!
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#186
WanderingPenguin
A.A. Guy – I know what you mean. It’s so much more fun to go to bed once you have pissed someone off …erm…”needfully”.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#187
Jen
So wait, if the point of cake and fruit is to celebrate all the birthdays that month, how does it become “everyone is entitled to cake and fruit”? I think only the people who have birthdays in that month are “entitled”. And anyway this whole entitlement idea defeats the purpose of doing fun things at the office. Or rather, “fun” things at The Office.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:36 am rating: 0
#188
Coke-aholic
Ha! Tubbie McFatbottom. Just great! See, this is why we all love this site. Oh, that and the great songs and limericks.
Next on WWF Smackdown. Tubbie McFatbottom versus String Bean MacQueen!
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:48 am rating: 0
#189
WanderingPenguin
Well, Jen, she didn’t actually say “everyone is entitled to cake and fruit”. In fact, she went out of her way to say that anyone who pays their $2.50 is entitled to cake and fruit but nobody else. And that $2.50 gets you cake and fruit every month whether it’s your birthday or not. When’s the last time you had a birthday cake and only you were allowed to eat it? See, that’s the point of celebrating.
I also would like to point out that nowhere in her message did she ever mention the word “birthday”, which is why we all wanted to know what the hell they were singing. So there’s that, too.
See you in three or four more threads, as usual?
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:52 am rating: 0
#190
WanderingPenguin
Yup, Mishee, I vividly recall “The Trademark Issues”. Think of the “R” as an homage to those days!
C-A thank you! I thought I was the only idiot who though “Tubby McFatbottom” was hilarious. I couldn’t even explain wth I was laughing at to my kids as I was laughing too hard to speak.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:54 am rating: 0
#191
WanderingPenguin
….erm, “thoughT”. I “thoughT” it was hilarious.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:55 am rating: 0
#192
Coke-aholic
Well, you are so welcome, WP. I kept thinking, “Let’s get ready to rumble!” when CB and those others were arguing. Then, the one, whoever it was said Tubby McFatbottom and I cracked up. Yep, I spit Coke for sure. Thank god Tweedle isn’t around to bitch at me for it. Or is she lurking?
Nov 10, 2007 at 1:00 am rating: 0
#193
WanderingPenguin
The one who said it was “Chippy VonNoseoutofjoint”. Both excellent names, but “Tubby” wins, IMO.
‘Night all. Sleep well and dream of unlimited cake and fruit!
Nov 10, 2007 at 1:03 am rating: 0
#194
Canthz_B
Hhrrrrummphh….I’d still take a Tubby McFatbottom over a skinny girl any day, night, afternoon or evening!
I don’t care what those fashion mags say!
Nov 10, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 0
#195
Coke-aholic
Of course you would. I don’t blame you, ’cause those models are frightening. And by the way, I wasn’t choosing sides, I was just enjoying the show during your argument. Seems like every weekend someone picks a fight. Fun to watch, for those of us who aren’t in the range of fire.
Nov 10, 2007 at 1:20 am rating: 0
#196
Canthz_B
I had no argument at all. I just stated my opinion.
I used to have arguments but people cannot hear you when you argure.
I didn’t think what Mitsu said about overweight people was nice and I said so. She tried to defend it and in doing so accused me of lashing out, which I never did.
People expect me to go off like I did when I first got here but cannot do that anymore.
Nov 10, 2007 at 2:12 am rating: 0
#197
Troy McClure
#236: it should be “…if I were sloppy…”. Team subjunctive! (The happeningest verbal mood team anywhere!)
#244: Don’t bother. She’s swinging out toward apogee again & won’t hear you.
Google ad for “Killer Birthday Cakes”. Sherry’s next move, if people don’t get in line?
Nov 10, 2007 at 2:52 am rating: 0
#198
Canthz_B
I like making comments like”well, there go your calories for the rest of the day!
I suppose you won’t be able to eat supper after this!” It makes them feel really guilty.
Remember saying that mean shit Mitsu?
Where is the humor there?
That is just plain mean and I stand by everything I said last night. You are just not a very nice person. You have a mirror…try looking into it sometime and really see yourself. You might just feel “really guilty”.
If I were overweight I’d have so much more to say but I just feel you wronged some people who did nothing at all to you.
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:08 am rating: 0
#199
Troy McClure
(Please note: any reference to weight observed in the tune below is ironic. (Now I can get away with anything, right??))
Sheila: Times have changed
People are getting worse
They won’t obey the rules
They just want to get there first!
Sharon: Should we blame the management?
Liane: Or blame no morning tea?
Dads: Or should we blame the food adverts on TV?
Sheila: No, blame Cake & Fruit
Everyone: Blame Cake & Fruit
Sheila: With all the yummy coloured icing
And the cakes so full of spice
Everyone: Blame Cake & Fruit
Blame Cake & Fruit
Sheila: We need to form a full assault
Everyone: It’s Cake & Fruit’s fault!
Sharon: Don’t blame me
If I complain about my weight
I saw the meeting running
And I got another plate!
Liane: And my boss Eric once
Was as skinny as an elf
But now he tries to hoard all the cake for himself!
Sheila: Well, blame Cake & Fruit
Everyone: Blame Cake & Fruit
Sheila: It seems that everything’s gone wrong
Since Cake & Fruit came along
Everyone: Blame Cake & Fruit
Blame Cake & Fruit
Copy Guy: It’s not even a real birthday anyway
Ms. McCormick: Our meeting could’ve gone all afternoon and got some work done,
Instead I swelled up like a piggy having desk clerk “fun”
Everyone: Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the candles or the “We love cake” choir?
Sheila: heck no!
Everyone: Blame Cake & Fruit
Blame Cake & Fruit
Sheila: With all their singing hullabaloo
Liane: And that bitch secretary too
Everyone: Blame Cake & Fruit
Shame on Cake & Fruit
For…
The sweets we must eat
The cash we must pay
The Laughter and fun
Must all go away
We must blame it and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:27 am rating: +1
#200
Canthz_B
Personally, I could eat a whole cow and not gain 6 pounds I can keep on. Others I know can eat a pastrami sandwich and gain two for keeps. I learned long ago to not judge people for what they look like but for who they are.
I know plenty of people who are overweight but whom I know are in fact not overeaters.
The childish assumption that everyone who is overweight is a glutton needs to be taught out of us.
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:41 am rating: 0
#201
anon
As, yes, an actual endocrinologist, the majority of referrals I receive from overweight folks who can’t drop the pounds are a waste of my time – they either eat too much, move too little, or both. Your metabolism slows with age, and you must adjust accordingly. So I agree with Mitsu, people who complain about their weight while eating cake are just asking for raised eyebrows. But that bitch fight was just delicious!
Nov 10, 2007 at 4:24 am rating: +1
#202
Merci
So a couple of people repeat the word “fatty”, which was used in the original post (she vetoes the direct approach (”hey, fatty“) in favor of the…), and they’re shallow, self-absorbed cretins?
Please tell me you’re joking, or that this is some kind of noob hazing.
Nov 10, 2007 at 7:46 am rating: +1
#203
A.A guy
WP; I woke up to that “needfull” comment,I’m still chuckling and can’t come up with a damn thing to say back.
Mishee;Thanks for the movies’ title,it would have kept me up if I weren’t sleeping.
Nov 10, 2007 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#204
A.A guy
I was married to a woman of Ukranian descent for a long time.A great looking lady,she carried about an extra fifty pounds,was an excellent swimmer,dancer and took boxing lessons as one of her hobbies.If you pissed her off and got her green eyes flashing the well executed verbal lashing that ensued made you want to crawl into a very deep hole and stay there.I knew that if we were ever jumped on the street,she’d be in there swinging.
Would I have traded her for some “oh I can’t have that extra saltine suck my cheeks in and swallow my own face stick legged fall over in a light wind mirror kisser”? Not a chance.
Give me a real woman with a real body who isn’t afraid of getting old and putting on a couple.
Nov 10, 2007 at 8:51 am rating: 0
#205
MJaz
Wow! I can’t believe I missed all the drama!
Anyway.. the whole cake and fruit thing has me looped. Why cake and fruit? Cake and ice cream I understand. Fruit stands alone – or maybe with cookies for the wild bunch. But cake and fruit? *boggle*
Do they eat it on the same plate? What about the fruit juice? Doesn’t it leak onto the cake and make the cake all soggy? Maybe they get divided plates?
Its positively uncivilized if you ask me. Radical and against the norm. But I guess it’s ok for Canadians.
Nov 10, 2007 at 9:37 am rating: 0
#206
MJaz
As posted above: “cake and fruit” is weird. However, I just stumbled upon a perfectly understandable combo for a soda-pop *badda-bing* Ham and Latkes! Kosher, even (although, I have trouble understanding kosher ham.. but no worries.) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_kosher_ham_soda
If I wasn’t going to be in Europe for Thanksgiving, I would bring a case of these bad-boys to dinner. You know, you can never have enough grease and ‘taters at the festivities, just like the native Indians did back in the olden days.
Nov 10, 2007 at 9:47 am rating: 0
#207
mamason
Good morning all! Just a couple of points to make.
1) Seriously, I was only goofing around. My feeble attempts at humor were never meant to cause so many hurt and negative feelings. I guess my husband’s been right all along. I am too harsh in my manner of speech when trying to be funny. Sorry.
2) I am not overweight(I’m the perfect weight for a women that’s 6′ 3″. Unfortunately I’m 5′ 7″), Asian or black. Just opinionated, brash and apparently an instigator.
Troy, what does pashy mean?
WP: You were never the only idiot. (see post 159)
I hope you all have a wonderful day. I’m going to celebrate my 5 yr olds birthday with… you got it! Cake and fruit!
Nov 10, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: +1
#208
A.A guy
Better fruit and cake(I don’t get this either) than the biscuits n’ gravy with a side of grits that I had to face in Alabama for two weeks.You could build a nuclear fallout shelterwith that shit!
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:21 am rating: +1
#209
Troy McClure
Mamason, thanks for asking. PASHY=”pointing at screen howling ‘yes!’” See http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/11/06/be-informed-homeland-security-will-be/#comment-24660 for my reasons. I’ve received polite encouragement & am bandying it about a bit, hoping it will become the latest craze to sweep the internet. Tell your friends.
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:33 am rating: 0
#210
Mishee
Sorry – I’m just in this mood…
Troy! I just attended traffic school, and I remember you from such educational films like, “60 Minutes of Car Crash Victims”, “Alice’s Adventures through the Windshield Glass”, and of course, “The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot” …
You do such a great job! I’m your biggest fan!
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#211
A.A guy
Troy,if Will Smith could make”jiggy with it” work,you should get a Nobel Prize for literature with PASHY.
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:11 am rating: 0
#212
mamason
Troy, I am sooo relieved! It was a big risk to try lyrics when YOU are the king of the re-written song. Your approval is humbling and gratifying.
PASHY rocks! I will tell my friends.
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:12 am rating: 0
#213
Mishee
I think it’s time to start a Troy McClure Fan Club, everyone seems to think he is the greatest thing since Texas Toast!
We love ya Troy Boy!
Concubine is a lucky woman! (or fish?)
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:20 am rating: 0
#214
Olivia
Not a canadian thing… we did this at my office in Santa Monica. I was the one that had to order the damn cake every month. People would complain that we always had chocolate (which was the CEO’s choice, not mine). However, we didn’t have to chip into this fund so if people had any complaints, they were unfounded.
Nov 10, 2007 at 12:48 pm rating: 0
#215
Juliet
Troy: I don’t like to type RFLMAO so thank you for the term PASHY.
Good job with ‘Cake and Fruit’. Keep up the good work.
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#216
WanderingPenguin
Heya TC – no, Jen is just a smarmy so-and-so who shows up here every few notes with some obnoxious comment about everyone else in here. This time around it was relatively pale by comparison….but then she came back and made us all proud with note #2. Virtually every time she makes her little catty remark I answer her in kind but she never reappears on the same thread – she’s more of a “hit and run” flamer. This time I guess she came back since there was no new note.
I couldn’t give a rat’s ass who knows whom or how often (or well) somebody posts but – and I have said this before – if you show up only to be an ass to everyone else on the board and won’t stick around to observe the fall-out then to hell with you.
So there’s that, then.
The proof is laid out in previous notes but there’s no way in hell I’m going to go back to find them.
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:42 pm rating: 0
#217
Mishee
Team Disoriented Flightless Birds!
LOL!
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:46 pm rating: 0
#218
WanderingPenguin
As a follow-up to that previous note of mine, I give you “MJaz” – post #271.
“But I guess it’s ok for Canadians.”
WTF is that supposed to mean? See, if you have established a personality in a certain group of people and they get to know your “style”, then that sort of comment would come off as funny. But when you just pop in and write that kind of crap, it just makes you look like a jackass.
As a way of example, can you imagine the uproar if somebody unknown from Canada came in here and said “that sounds like something only you Americans would do but I think it’s ridiculous”?
Something would ensue, and it sure ain’t hilarity.
MJaz was possibly kidding, but it’s really not a way to jump into the water, IMO.
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:48 pm rating: 0
#219
WanderingPenguin
LMAO Mishee
) very nice!
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:49 pm rating: 0
#220
WanderingPenguin
Now I’m surethere was something I was going to write about in good spirits…let me see… oh yeah!
Troy! That brought a tear to my eye! Brilliant!
I woke up this morning singing “O Cake and Fruit, O Cake and Fruit, how lovely is thy icing!” …. but that’s as far as it went.
I like yours a lot better.
Nov 10, 2007 at 3:50 pm rating: 0
#221
Canthz_B
*of* = *off*….I need food.
Nov 10, 2007 at 4:25 pm rating: 0
#222
WanderingPenguin
Well, misery loves company. How do you think I</I felt with that damn song stuck there?
Gotta do the grocery thang. Catch you guys later!
Oh, and I almost helped with the “of = off” thing… but I couldn’t bring myself to do it… and now you went and did it yourself anyhow. *phew*!
Nov 10, 2007 at 4:29 pm rating: 0
#223
Canthz_B
Of course, OCD and MD are very different things. I would hope you learn the difference before you diagnose again CV.
Nov 10, 2007 at 4:54 pm rating: 0
#224
Canthz_B
Sorry, just caught up on my reading. Anon (#266), I doubt that you are an endocrinologist. I say this because, yes, as a health insurance professional with over 20 years of experience, I just happen to know that doctors do not receive referrals from patients. Patients are referred to doctors by other doctors. Nice try though!
Nov 10, 2007 at 5:11 pm rating: 0
#225
Canthz_B
PS: I know it was a joke! LOL
Nov 10, 2007 at 5:16 pm rating: 0
#226
Wade
#297
Hurray, WP! Happy CID!!
Break out the fruit and cake!!!
Nov 10, 2007 at 5:20 pm rating: 0
#227
unholyghost2003
WOW! The DRAMA! It was all over the place. for my $.02 all I have to say is I am thankful and feel very special since my arrival here seems to have come with little toe stepping and general enjoyment.
OH! and PS Tried to register FOREVER ago. Dose it really take a week+ to get your password? or should I try again?
Nov 10, 2007 at 6:03 pm rating: 0
#228
MJaz
Ummmm… wow. OK I was joking. I guess I counted on my tongue-in-cheek style to speak for itself.
I’ll go back to just lurking. Sorry to offend.
Nov 10, 2007 at 6:05 pm rating: 0
#229
A.A guy
Why not just serve fruitcake and save on plates,or would that require a different song being sung?
Nov 10, 2007 at 6:25 pm rating: 0
#230
super_fan#99
Canthz, you are a lunatic and I’d bet the farm you are a fattie too.
#163?
Hello, Pot? This is Kettle. You’re black.
Nov 10, 2007 at 7:13 pm rating: 0
#231
WanderingPenguin
MJaz, stay or don’t stay, it’s really up to you – I will make no such promises. My comments were actually pretty tame and quite lucid and, in point of fact, I didn’t actually call you a jackass, I said it makes you look like a jackass. Hey, if you want to bring semantics into it you came to the right place – ask anyone here!
I think that last post of yours may have been tongue-in-cheek as well and I can appreciate that; however, I stick by my observation of how not to enter a room and I would like to add that nobody has refuted it yet. It’s always a good idea to test the waters before you disparage an entire country. Well, at least when it’s my country! If there are any Fijians amongst us, well….you’re on your own. Fight your own damn fight!
At least that’s the way I see it.
Hey, Wade! I remembered to close the italics that time! Sorry, guess CID is over.
Nov 10, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: 0
#232
Canthz_B
I was just about to take aim WP! LMBO
I recently read someone say that if you stay around long enough for your “voice” to be understood, all will be well.
MRE’s for thought.
Nov 10, 2007 at 8:28 pm rating: 0
#233
MJaz
Just for the record – this was not the first time I entered the room. I posted yesterday, so I figure I should have some street creds by now.
Anyway – please allow me to introduce myself. I am a slightly pudgy Figian who has a serious sardonic humor gene. (I’m lying about the slightly pudgy and Figian parts).
As for Canada – I happen to be a huge fan of your country. I have good friends in Toronto, and have spent about 6 weeks there in the last 3 years. My hubby and I are seriously considering moving up there, and one of my best friends in the world is applying to be a Mountie. So even if you guys eat cake and fruit, I still love you.
And yes.. you can pretty much count on anything I say in this forum being anthing from silly to sarcastic. It seems like the right thing to do.
*hugs* or *handshake* whichever you prefer =)
Nov 10, 2007 at 8:55 pm rating: 0
#234
MJaz
Arrrrrgh!
I meant I am a “Fijian”, and lying about it. Which may have been obvious since I spelled it all wrong.
God, I feel like such a jackass….
Nov 10, 2007 at 8:58 pm rating: 0
#235
Oti
No more cake and fruit! (say’s the Fijian)
Nov 10, 2007 at 9:28 pm rating: 0
#236
Wade
Sega na lega, o itau.
Nov 10, 2007 at 9:55 pm rating: 0
#237
Ozymandias
MJaz, figuring all the references to ‘fig newtons’ in the posts above, I think Figian is apt.
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:01 pm rating: 0
#238
WanderingPenguin
Oh sure, MJaz, you claim to love Canada but you don’t know whether we prefer hugs or handshakes? *rolls eyes*
Obviously we prefer to “tap [hockey] gloves”. Sheesh.
Also, I know you’re lying because I live in Toronto and nobody has any friends here – we’re all pretty much impossible to love. I know a couple of people in here who will back me up. Right? Erm….right? Oh, plus since the Mounties were bought out by Disney we pretty much have no use for them any more.
Well, anyhow, if you “feel like a jackass” there are plenty to go around here – take your pick!
Now that you’ve introduced yourself you can go ahead and take dead aim at Canada, just like any of your redneck, apple-pie-eating, Nascar-loving, geography-challenged countryfolk would do.
(See what I did there? Oh, simmer down, guys – it’s just a stupid joke. Holy hell it can get boring in here on weekends, eh?)
Seriously, start with Vancouver. Or Ottawa. They have it coming.
What part of Canada are you considering moving to – or did you mean Toronto?
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:05 pm rating: 0
#239
Queequeg
It’s things like a “fun fund” for “Cake and Fruit Day” that make me glad that I work for myself… Office culture is retarded.
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:11 pm rating: 0
#240
Wade
Don’t Panic & Bring a Towel!!
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:11 pm rating: 0
#241
Wade
Well, at least they pooled their resources for fruit and cake, instead of, say, a donair pizza.
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:16 pm rating: 0
#242
A.A guy
If you’ve been to Toronto so much,how come I’VE never seen you?
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:19 pm rating: 0
#243
A.A guy
W.P; That was a beauty of a rant eh.I especially liked that part about Disney hosing the Mounties off us.
Oh and MJ don’t try sneaking any of those grits up here, we have enough problems with all that fruit and cake.
Nov 10, 2007 at 10:23 pm rating: +1
#244
Canthz_B
Eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month.
Boy, they had class back then!
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
#245
Zsa
Whoa- that was SO 80’s.
“they made themselves stars by insisting on….being Canadian” Good stuff!
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:35 pm rating: 0
#246
rabble rouser
Going back a few posts, hey MJaz,
We just steal all of their inventions, creative thinkers, any kind of thinker, anything good, sports players, racehorses, cakes etc., and relabel it ‘Australian’. They jump up and down a bit and spit, but what can they do, really? We are arrogant, have an accent that sounds like a duck, and a dollar that is too strong at present. But hell, you must know how the hegemony works. Don’t get too upset if they get upset at you 
PS: yair, Kiwis, thems fighting words, but we know we ‘get’ each other.
Kiwis (the New Zealand variety that are people, not fruit or near extinct birds) don’t have a sense of humour either.
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:43 pm rating: 0
#247
WanderingPenguin
CB! You mean you missed my last two efforts?
That’s…that’s….so disheartening. Why, I believe one is Post #67 (how Canadian is that?) in this very thread?
Oh well, since you asked directly, here’s something I threw together. Bear in mind I only had a couple of minutes to work with it so it’s not going to be up to Troy’s standards, but….
Short Week and a Long Weekend
[with apologies to Cake - but who else could I rip off in this thread? I mean really!]
I want a job with a boss who’s a nice guy
I want a job that pays real good
I want a job with breaks a’plenty
And fridges full of excellent food
I want a job with amazing benefits
So I can stay home
When I sit on a tack
I’ll play on the internet
I’ll spin in my chair
I’ll cake and fruit
Lying flat on my back
I want a job with a short week and a lonnnng weekend……
I want a job where I get off early
I want a job where I don’t work nights
I want a job with uninterrupted ‘net privacy
To write snarky comments on the P/A site
To use my sense of poetic justice
And make all my underlings kiss my fat ass
I won’t take dictation
Or make coffee that’s black
I don’t need that tension
I just keep myself “slack”
I want a job with a short week and a lonnnnng…. lonnng weekend
I want a lunch with some smooth “liquidations”
I want some stock with good dividends
And at the city bank I will stow all my riches
And saunter in when it opens at 10
I want a desk with a hideaway mini-bar
I want a chair that will give a massage
I’m changing my status from “In” to “Gone Fishin’ ”
I’m trading my blank wall for a 70-inch plasma television
I want a job with a short week and a lonnnnggggggggg weekend
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:44 pm rating: +1
#248
Canthz_B
Wade, I just don’ know how you do it so consistently!
Troy, in the USA Thanksgiving is the last Thurday in November…If you work at a good company, it is a four day weekend!
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 0
#249
WanderingPenguin
Dammit. That was supposed to be “I’ll EAT cake & fruit”. Please read it as such.
Nov 10, 2007 at 11:47 pm rating: 0
#250
WanderingPenguin
#340 – Wade:
Thank you thank you thank you! *sniff* that was absolutely wonderful.
Hosted by the late, wonderful Barbara Frum (her son was my school captain!) that 25-year old vignette was a fabulous blast from the past. Believe it or not, I remember seeing that segment when it first aired on The Journal way back when (c. 1982) on the occasion of the release of the McKenzie Brothers’ album. But my favourite sequences were actually the shots from Yonge & Dundas in downtown Toronto because I grew up with most of those businesses there and virtually all of them are now gone.
And I think I saw my kid brother in one of those cars.
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:02 am rating: 0
#251
MJaz
Yeah yeah *duck* Toronto.
You would have seen me last time if you went to Second City Comedy Club.
I was the one sitting up front howling. If you missed me, it’s not my fault; I was there with my friend Dudley. The transcripts of what happened after the show are here http://flyingmoose.org/moose/whiplash.htm. WARNING!! No one under 21 may follow that link. (Internet Porn)
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:07 am rating: 0
#252
Canthz_B
I have to admit that I am, at times, awed by the amount of talent displayed here at times.
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:09 am rating: 0
#253
Team Cassandra
Ok. This is what they sing:
O say can you seeeeeeeeeeeeeee
By the cake and fruit stand –
That PIIIIIIIIIggy guy, Jake
He is farting on that man….
He’s always talking too loud
On his spe-eakerphone
And he-e eats ALL
Of the cake and fruit we brought…
Now sing all you peons,
Now sing, if you want it, SI-ING!
Take a break from your meeting!
HAVE SOME FRUIT AND SOME CAKE!
Nov 11, 2007 at 3:36 am rating: 0
#254
Team Cassandra
And just so you know – I wasn’t saying that youtuby Cake thing made me lose my appetite. I was talking about the note.
Nov 11, 2007 at 3:49 am rating: 0
#255
Team Cassandra
O say can you seeeeeeeeeeeeeee
By the cake and fruit stand –
That PIIIIIIIIIggy guy, Jake
He is farting on that man….
He’s always talking too loud
On his spe-eakerphone
And he-e eats ALL
Of the cake and fruit we brought…
Now sing all you peons,
Now sing, if you want it, SI-ING!
Take a break from your meeting!
HAVE SOME FRUIT AND SOME CAKE!
Nov 11, 2007 at 3:50 am rating: 0
#256
anglophile
CB, #347, in the interest of strictest accuracy, Thanksgiving in America is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November. It is usually, but not always, the last Thursday. I merely mention this because I am worried you might not buy your turkey early enough, and it would be a shame to miss Turkey Day. Also, I am a stickler and like things to be precise.
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:33 am rating: 0
#257
super_fan#99
AND…in some parts of our glorious country, the Monday following Thanksgiving is the first day of deer season. Our kids actually have the day off from school and many companies just go ahead and call it a freebie because so many people call off, so in effect it becomes a 5, count ‘em, 5 day weekend.
It is wonderful to live here in Pennsyltucky. Wish me luck.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:03 am rating: 0
#258
Mishee
WHOO HOO! Open season on Bambi!! Let’s get our orange vests and our beer coolers and hit the road boys!!
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:13 am rating: 0
#259
Mishee
(psst… just don’t tell Cheney we are going this time… he’s a loose cannon!)
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:15 am rating: 0
#260
Mishee
#357 & 358 CB – I am actually surprised at alot of the comments that actually get posted here… they are actually pretty damn creative and really interesting at times
That’s how you should’ve said it!
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:18 am rating: 0
#261
Team Cassandra
This embarrassment is fucking delicious.
As Catherine Aird said: If you can’t be a good example you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
Don’t drink and type, folks:)
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: 0
#262
Canthz_B
Thanks Anglophile *wipes a tear*, I didn’t know you cared!
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#263
super_fan#99
Mishee, you can come hunt with me anytime. While I have done my share of road hunting, we like to hold off on the beer until at least lunch time. That saves a ton of lives, you know, waiting until it’s daylight.
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:47 pm rating: 0
#264
Mishee
Road Hunting?
So THAT’S what they call it when they troll around on the local highways looking for dinner that’s already been done in…
Nov 11, 2007 at 12:57 pm rating: 0
#265
super_fan#99
Not quite, that’s more of a southern redneck thing. What we northern rednecks call road hunting is the art of driving down country roads looking for LIVE deer then shooting them from the truck. If it’s a good enough truck you can then drive off-road and pick the deer up.
Also, after lunch of course, it’s handy to keep your cooler behind the seat so you have cold beer all the time and no work dragging it around.
Now, THAT’S hunting.
Nov 11, 2007 at 1:28 pm rating: 0
#266
Mishee
Well that’s good….
erm… at least you lower your chances of acidentally being taken for a deer… you know, traipsing around the woods with your gun, stalking prey… like a Real man…
Nov 11, 2007 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
#267
Canthz_B
You know what might be fun? Hunting something that can fight back. You know, like a pack of wolves. Go out and attract a pack of hungry wolves to your hunting party and see if you can shoot them all before they get one of you!
That sounds exciting!!
Nov 11, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#268
Reality
Yes ! If the deer could shoot back then it would be a real sport.
Mishee, Dinner on the road that has already been done in is called “Redneck Jerky” LOL
Nov 11, 2007 at 2:12 pm rating: 0
#269
Mishee
Or if it sticks to the car that hit it, then I suppose it could be considered “Meals On Wheels”
hee hee!!
Just funnin’ ya SuperFan!
Nov 11, 2007 at 2:16 pm rating: 0
#270
super_fan#99
Although the pack of wolves thing sounds pretty exciting make no mistake about how we think of hunting. I know no sportsmen. It’s all about killing defenseless things with overpowered rifles and pistols.
Nov 11, 2007 at 3:27 pm rating: 0