i think what fascinates me most about this e-mail, from the head of the party planning committee — excuse me, “fun fund” — at an office in toronto, is the subject line. not only does the writer ignore the obvious “let them eat cake,” she vetoes the direct approach (”hey, fatty“) in favor of the utterly nonsensical “for your records.”
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293 responses so far ↓
#1 Andy
Wow. Milton from “Office Space” would love this place.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:37 am rating: 0
#2 hannibal
That cake and fruit was . . . sigh.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#3 Mishee
That cake and fruit was fucking delicious… sorry, just HAD to do it…
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
#4 Mishee
LMAO Hanibal…!! hee hee hee!
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 0
#5 Andy
I love that they request the company screech to a halt for cake day. Is this real, anyway? Especially with last night’s “The Office” birthday party debacle?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:41 am rating: 0
#6 Writer, Rejected
I don’t know. Seems like this could be the type of person who is always “just mentioning stuff,” which is annoying. And the truth of the matter is that a lot of us just plain feel entitled to cake and fruit, whether we pay or not. And *some* of us apparently feel entitled to A LOT of cake and fruit, which is just how it is in life. As for the whole managing the managers because cake and fruit day only happens once a month, why not make every day cake and fruit day? We work hard at our jobs, we feel entitled, why not just make it happen?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: 0
#7 Dimwit
Rather than eating all of the fruit and cake, I’d just lick it. That way I could go to my (pointless) meetings, and still have f.d. cake and fruit when I was done.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:51 am rating: 0
#8 Mishee
Maybe claw works here… and he is consuming all of the cake and fruit… or it’s Jake….
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:53 am rating: 0
#9 Midleah
I’m with Andy. This reeks of Office Space.
Is it really passive-aggressive? Seems more anal-retentive to me.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 0
#10 the dawd
Sorry boss, i know that this client meeting is crucial, but it is cake and fruit day. I payed $2.50 Canadian to get some of this cake and fruit, and i can not afford to miss this.
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:58 am rating: 0
#11 Canthz_B
That must be some serious cake and exotic fruit for such anger over having missed some until next month! Is that Meth cake?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#12 the dawd
I wonder if i still get cake after forgetting to use a cover sheet on the TPS report?
Nov 9, 2007 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#13 the dawd
Where is Terrible Terry Tate when you need him?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: 0
#14 Canthz_B
“Oh God, I feel terrible this morning. I think I’ll call in sick…OH WAIT…It’s cake and fruit day! Lemme get a shower.”
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: 0
#15 WanderingPenguin
I swear to God…..stop saying “cake and fruit”…..and……enough with the ellipses already…..or…..no…..that’s about it.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:01 pm rating: 0
#16 Canthz_B
Is this a perfume company…we may be missing hidden meanings here…
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:03 pm rating: 0
#17 the dawd
That gourmet meth cake was fucking delicious, and production is up 46%!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#18 KarenLW
They tried the monthly fruitcake, but no one put in to the kitty - so now they separate the cake and fruit.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 0
#19 WanderingPenguin
$2.50 Canadian is about $6.75 US by now, isn’t it, dawd?
I’d really like to know what they are “singing” before they eat their cake and…. ok, I’m not going to finish that. But seriously? Is it some kind of cult?
We love you ca-a-ake
Oh, yes, we do-o
We love you ca-a-ake
And fru-uit too-oo…
Or is it more like chanting?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:05 pm rating: 0
#20 WanderingPenguin
Nice one, Karen!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:05 pm rating: 0
#21 Adam Amato
Team Let them eat fruit and cake!!!
The guy from Office Space that mumbles is behind this message im sure…
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:06 pm rating: 0
#22 Midleah
Cake and fruit…is this a Canadian thing?
Why is this “fun”, and why is there a fund for it?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: 0
#23 KarenLW
Yep, it takes me the entire workweek (should that be hyphenated?) to come up with one semi-clever line. arrrrgh
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: 0
#24 sunlotus
That cake and fruit MUST have been fucking delicious for everyone to scarf it all up before the meeting was over.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#25 Mitsu
Lol, this is funny, but true! We have a cake and fruit day once a month too (to celebrate everyon’e birthdays during that month, but we just call it cake day). Anyways, skinny people like me have to volunteer with the set-up, so that we get to have our cake first, before the fatties get to it! I completely understand this! They can always get seconds if there’s leftovers!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#26 Mitsu
Midleah : yes, this is definitely a Canadian thing.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#27 Andy
I’d much rather chip in $2.50/month to be able to kick one co-worker square in the nether regions without penalty.
Or, is that’s what is meant by “cake and fruit”?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: 0
#28 morpho aurora
geez if she is going to be this picky, instead of sending this out she could just print out a list every month of people who are paid up, check the names off as people pick up their single servings, and then make up little plates for the late comers and put them to the side.
sort of daycare-ish but so is the tone of this note
we will all learn about sharing today!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: 0
#29 WanderingPenguin
My better half has a “cake meeting” several times a month to celebrate birthdays or what have you. I should ask her what they sing there.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm rating: 0
#30 Mitsu
We don’t sing at ours, everyone just comes in, stuffs their faces and then leaves.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:11 pm rating: 0
#31 Andy
Well, I’d sing:
“Happy Birthday To You
And also fuck you
You all are so stupid
Just jump of a cliff.”
Yeah, it doesn’t rhyme, but it’s more the thought that counts.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#32 the dawd
We do not have cake and fruit day in our office, but one of the other offices started having free Haagen Das ice cream. They ran out the first day.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
#33 Canthz_B
Of more concern is how little does one have to be paid to sweat $2.00 (US or Can.) per month?
Get yourself a Drakes or Hostess fruit pie if you had to actually do your job while others ate cake! What is this, the French Revolution?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:14 pm rating: 0
#34 Midleah
LOL Andy, that might be more aptly named “twig and berries” day.
I’d pay a lot more than $2.50 for that.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#35 WanderingPenguin
Sounds like someone didn’t get enough cake and fruit as a child, huh, Andy?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#36 Mitsu
The sad part is that all those who are on “diets” eat the most cake every cake day. I like making comments like “well, there go your calories for the rest of the day! I suppose you won’t be able to eat supper after this!” It makes them feel really guilty.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
#37 Midleah
Moo at them. They hate that.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#38 the dawd
Those twig and berries were…never mind
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#39 WanderingPenguin
If the entire C&F procedure takes a “mere 8mins” (BTW, I love that it’s such a random figure) and this person is suggesting that you can take a 5-minute break from your meeting to walk over and get some C&F, does that mean that whatever they sing takes at least 3 minutes? Holy hell, there have been some entire radio hits that haven’t lasted 3 minutes. Now I am obsessed: just wth are they singing??
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#40 WanderingPenguin
Wow, Mitsu! Meow!
Thank God I don’t work with you!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#41 Reality
I think I love this note, but print is too small for me to read I cannot find my glasses. I can see comments though is there a way to enlarge note.
C B are you laughing ’cause I called in sick! But no cake in house. I guess I will have to eat just fruit. Dang I should have went to work, maybe they had cake….lol
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:21 pm rating: 0
#42 Liz
Umm…actually were are going to have to just push that meeting back. My appologies, but I have to make it to cake and fruit day.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
#43 WanderingPenguin
Reality, as it says in parentheses right before the note itself, you can click on the note to enlarge it.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#44 WanderingPenguin
But Liz, you only have to push it back 5 minutes. It says so right in the memo! Just tell them you’re about to go into a diabetic coma because of the bastard who stole your insulin up on the 12th floor. I am sure they will understand!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: 0
#45 Liz
________________(flat line)
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: 0
#46 Mitsu
WP: I only say it to those who always come up to me and go “I’m so fat! I hate myself! I’m dieting to lose x amount of pounds! I can only eat this, this and this for the whole day!”
I’m thinking, I don’t really care.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
#47 Mitsu
PS: Dalton McGuinty is HOT!!!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:29 pm rating: 0
#48 Midleah
WP…beautiful segue.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#49 WanderingPenguin
Oh, no, Liz! Too late! Didn’t they save you your piece of cake and some fruit? Shame on them!
Mitsu: I know the type. I don’t really care, either.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: 0
#50 Andy
@WP: Oh, I’ve had plenty of cake. It’s just I want it on my terms, not dictated to me by some fascist cake-and-fruit-party-organizer.
Besides, I just love to be the pebble in the boot of the man.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#51 Mitsu
LOL! I just had to bring that up…I miss seeing him on TV…
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#52 Canthz_B
#41, That reminds me of an “Our Gang” short!!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#53 Wade
#39 I laughed at that too, WP.
I noticed she didn’t allow for travel time from the desk to the singing. That would consume a least 2-3 minutes, and throw the schedule off for the rest of the day.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:33 pm rating: 0
#54 Canthz_B
Andy…Were you the voice of “Pebbles Flintstone”?
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: 0
#55 Canthz_B
They could always leave off “How old are you now…“!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#56 WanderingPenguin
Maybe she did allow travel time and it only takes 3 minutes to get your C&F. Maybe the singing is 5 minutes!
You know, if that were the case, they’d have to pay me to eat their damned cake and a bit of fruit - and a lot more than $2.50 a month in any currency!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#57 Midleah
I think a scale and a full-length mirror, strategically placed next to the c/f table would bring c/f day over-indulgence to an abrupt end.
But then Ms. Party Planner wouldn’t know how to fill her days.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:39 pm rating: 0
#58 WanderingPenguin
Hmm. I just re-read your comment, Wade, and I think I misinterpreted it.
Oh well, I stand by what I said about the 5-minute chanting. Erm, singing.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:39 pm rating: 0
#59 WanderingPenguin
Would the scale be so people would have to weigh themselves before and after indulging to ensure they didn’t get an extra helping? See, I’d be all for that.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:40 pm rating: 0
#60 a happier girl
I’m surprised the Fun Fund committee doesn’t just take roll and ration out portions for people if they’re that worried about the distribution of the cake and fruit. And why does it have to be referred to as “cake and fruit” every time. Are their no appropriate general terms that could work like say, “food” or maybe just “some.”
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#61 Reality
Thank You W.P.
Thought I was really going blind. I really do not understand the places where they have to have trears I say bring your own.
I bet they sing Kumbuya!
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#62 Reality
That was suposed to be TREATS! I better find glasses.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:47 pm rating: 0
#63 Juliet
The comments here are way more interesting than this note could ever be.
At my last workplace we had ‘treat Wednesday’ and everyone on staff would take turns bringing in something for everyone to share. If you were away, tough. They should screw the $2.50 and just take turns. I wouldn’t chip in money for fruit and cake.
It amazed me all the cake and candy brought in, more than I’d buy or eat at home. I went from looking like a malnourished adult to looking like a normal, healthy adult due to ‘treat Wednesday’.
Nov 9, 2007 at 12:57 pm rating: 0
#64 WanderingPenguin
But Juliet, it’s not “fruit and cake”, it’s “cake and fruit”. Wouldn’t that be so much better?
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:00 pm rating: 0
#65 WanderingPenguin
Uh, I sure hope Troy doesn’t mind, but….
We Just Want The Fun Fund
An email in the morning light
It says, “We all need to prioritize our time right.
Schedule your meetings better or you’ll get none,
-A message from the Fun Fund”,
Oh, bless the office Fun Fund!
The cake’s served in the middle of the day,
The staff all sing an extra-long “Happy Birthday!”
There’s fruit as well but please just only take one,
Or else those late will get none.
Oh, bless the office Fun Fund!
That’s what you’re paying fo-o-o-o-o-o-or:
A “Fun Fu-u-u-u-u-u-und”,
When the working month is done,
There’s Cake and Fruit from the Fun Fund,
Oh, bless the office Fun Fund!
“My manager ran that meeting too long
And now I find that all the cake and fruit is gone!
I paid $2.50 and I think that it’s wrong,
Oh, damn you, office Fun Fund,
I hate you, office Fun Fund!”
I’m so hungry! I’m so hungry-y-y! (repeat)
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: +1
#66 EmeraldMPH
Team Just buy enough cake and fruit for everyone and put it on the company tab, instead of having everyone pay for their own birthday cake, ffs.
I know at my organization every single time senior leadership has a meeting they get boxed lunches brought in special (this is at least 2-3 times a week), which runs a few hundred dollars a pop, yet our department isn’t allowed to buy a birthday cake once a month.
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
#67 Canthz_B
So…can we infer from this note that there is punch-a-plenty?
Nov 9, 2007 at 1:10 pm rating: 0
#68 unholyghost2003