My own neighborhood of Park Slope, Brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented passive-aggressiveness. Certain notes (like this long-running series) show up in my inbox over and over again. I’ve gotten various iterations of this note from no fewer than six different people over the past few months, with good reason.
I think the dogged persistence of the note-writer is pretty incredible in its own right, but even better is what the note doesn’t quite explain: these bags weren’t just being stolen — some “juvenile/adult delinquent” was also cutting the bottom of the bags, then putting them back for the next unsuspecting dog-walking victim. Oh, shit!
(Thanks to William, Kathleen, Elaine, Sarah, T-1-11, and JM for submitting!)
related: What is it about dog crap that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?
170 responses so far ↓
#1
Team Cassandra
Go ahead – call me a loser delinquent
I will then, of course, see the error of my ways and stop stealing your stupid poop bags.
Dude. Are you high?
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:47 pm rating: 90
#2
Reality
.It may be Doggy Poop But I hope it is F…ing delicious!!!!!
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:48 pm rating: 91
#3
ALA
The bottoms of those bags were fucking delicious.
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:49 pm rating: 90
#4
Zsa
The sheer number of times ‘poop’ (both in quotes and out) is used makes me giggle. Like that is gonna stop anyone….
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:50 pm rating: 90
#5
Wade
I wonder if the dog poop patrol considered the tree’s feelings before impaling plastic bags to it.
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:50 pm rating: 90
#6
GVI
Why is “Poop” in quotation marks? Is it or isn’t it poop that they put in those bags?
I think they are running drugs.
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:54 pm rating: 90
#7
Wade
…others enjoy the convenience?
That’s a customer satisfaction survey I would love to see, lol.
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:56 pm rating: 90
#8
Canthz_B
Those clear plastic ziplock bags are fucking delicious! (And so versatile!)
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:58 pm rating: 90
#9
GVI
Whoa, those bastards where stealing the bags of ‘poop’, wtf is that about?
Nov 11, 2007 at 9:59 pm rating: 90
#10
Canthz_B
I’m a poop picker-upper (if anyone’s around), but Rocky demands larger than sandwich bags.
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:00 pm rating: 90
#11
GVI
I wonder if they stole those bags of poop to frame Putz?
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: 90
#12
Reality
I really find the ad at bottom of page funnier it is a T-Shirt ad that says “I STOL O.J.S Shit’ I guess poop has been mentioned too many times! Iam LOL!
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: 90
#13
Canthz_B
Maybe the bag snatcher needed all of the bags for their Great Dane?
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: 90
#14
Canthz_B
Redd Foxx said…”St. Bernards don’t doo doo, St. Bernards shit!
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:05 pm rating: 90
#15
Wade
If I am reading the note right (always a dodgy thing here), the note writer is upset that the ziploc bag full of what? (rolled up plastic grocery bags, folded up baggies), keeps disappearing.
The ziploc bag attached to the tree by… push pins!
idiot.
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: 90
#16
Troy McClure
Arlo Guthrie? Anyone old enough?
Coming into Park Slope? Then please,
I’m hanging angry signs on the trees:
Don’t touch my bags if you please
You disgusting man
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: 90
#17
Canthz_B
Our oh so mature note writer is so fed up with a poopy sidewalk (s)he is providing free poop pick-up bags for the immature, juvenile delinquent neighbors? P-A at work in spades!
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:11 pm rating: 90
#18
Courts
Maybe the BAG SNATCHER doesn’t want to reform their Bad Behavior. How does getting an education prevent you from stealing doggie ‘poop’ bags? Maybe they ENJOY stealing doggie ‘poop’ bags?
Maybe they’re using the bags for portioned out pretzels?
Thank you, Terry
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:14 pm rating: 90
#19
tanyetta
why are people being so rude? i can’t stand when people allow their dogs to poop on the ground! yuck!
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#20
Troy McClure
I wouldn’t want dogs telling me where I could poop.
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:22 pm rating: 90
#21
Rita
I don’t understand, “Get a life…pet your dog…”
Is this person telling me to get a life by petting my dog?
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:33 pm rating: 90
#22
Wade
petting dogs (like bacon) is life!
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:35 pm rating: 90
#23
Canthz_B
So much better when they poop in the air! LOL
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:35 pm rating: 90
#24
morpho aurora
maybe the bag vandals are trying to get the sign hangers to quit vandalizing the tree with push pins and silly signs – i’d take the signs down just because reading them annoyed me.
btw, what adult uses the word “doggie” that often when not addressing a very small child?
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 90
#25
Canthz_B
#23, I tried to potty train mine but he left paw prints on the seat and refused to clean up after himself…what a slob he is…“Bad dog!”
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: 90
#26
Wade
Can’t snatch this
Can’t snatch this
Can’t snatch this
Can’t snatch this
My, my, my, anger puts me in a fog
Makes me say pet your dog
Go find another thrill
Get a education don’t be ill
Feels good when I know I’m dope
A superbad bagboy from the Park Slope
And I’m known
it’s natch
And this is a poop bag you can’t snatch
Nov 11, 2007 at 10:55 pm rating: 90
#27
Wade
That’s word because you know
Can’t snatch this
Can’t snatch this
Break it down!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop! Scoopin’ time!
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:06 pm rating: 90
#28
Canthz_B
Wade, what can you do with Poop Poop, Baby?
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:07 pm rating: 90
#29
A.A guy
RE;#20
Now don’t get me wrong,I admire both your civic consciousness and your desire not to return home with the fecal twins in tow.I’m just curious how people react to someone collecting stray dog shit with no dog in tow.I might
sugguest wearing a lab coat and nodding sagely at interesting specimens.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#30
Canthz_B
Funny thing about us poop scoopers though. When we see un-scooped poop we automatically run the neighborhood dog owners through our heads. “That’s too big to be Ron’s Yorkie…could be that guy with the Rotts though.”
We become unlicensed poop inspectors!
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:21 pm rating: 90
#31
Coke-aholic
The person who stole all the bags was obviously that Ziploc Fanatic who was cleaning out the office fridge in the past note, requesting everything be put in there in Ziplocs. Sorry, I can’t be bothered to go back and find the old post.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:26 pm rating: 90
#32
Reality
Oh, A.A. don’t get me wrong would never clean whole park, but when at the park I like to have the immediate area clean of All fecal matter. So we can All enjoy our Fruit and Cake. hahahaha
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:31 pm rating: 90
#33
Wade
poop poop baby
poop poop baby
All right stop you delinquents and listen
Bagboy’s back with my brand new invention
Something stores all the poop bags tightly
Cause dogs are crapping daily and nightly
Will it ever stop I don’t think so
It’s a convenience I know
To the extreme I’m pissed at you vandal
Get an education a life you can handle
Pet your dog is the advice I give
Stop cutting down bags so the bermuda can live
Deadly when I throw a dope note or three
I only wish than all this was a felony
Love it or leave it you better mature
You better not mess with the dog manure
Since there is a problem yo I’ll solve it
Check out the sign just try not to resist it
poop poop baby
poop poop baby
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:32 pm rating: 90
#34
Canthz_B
These poopie bags are free,
Leave my notes alone,
I will keep pinning them,
until I kill this tree.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:34 pm rating: 90
#35
shirky
I took the same picture!
thank goodness i never sent it in , i would look like such a copycat
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
#36
Canthz_B
I’m such a fan, can you sign my dog?
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
#37
GVI
What if the “stolen” bags where just full and thrown away, now the ones that were cut, that’s just a hilarious story.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 90
#38
A.A guy
Reality; I understand,we used to do the same thing when we played flag football in the park.It would be real nice if you did the lab coat thing though.Just once..PLEASEEEEE.I get out so seldom.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 90
#39
A.A guy
Yo Babe,I’ll sign your dog,bring it on.
Team” even on the web I still sound whiter than humanly possible”.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:51 pm rating: 90
#40
MJaz
A ziplock poopie bag bandit. That is too funny. Just the sound of that. Ziplock poopie bag bandit… sigh
Reminds me of the time my sister threatened to leave a “flaming poo bag” on a neighbors door step. I laughed for an hour, and I just smirked as I wrote it.
Of course, the flaming poo bag was combined with getting dressed in our finest black turtlenecks and ski caps and stealthing over to the bitch’s front step to the tune of the Pink Panther. The sad part was that we were in our mid-20′s when we planned this mission.
I guess growing up is hard to do.
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:52 pm rating: 90
#41
Reality
Flaming poop bag, so funny reminds me of my oldest brother . We went to Catholic school and his friends and him would always leave those at the doorstep of the convent. “Smelly Black Habits” worse than fecal twins I bet. To think they couldn’t even say “AH SHIT” hehehe haha
Nov 11, 2007 at 11:59 pm rating: 90
#42
Canthz_B
OK…don’t shoot all at once…This is my 1st try…
Scrape the poop off,
We’re gonna scrape the
poop off this mother sucker,
Scrape the poop off the sucker,
Scrape the poop off,
We’re gonna scrape the
Poop off this mother sucker,
Scrape the poop off the sucker,
We want the bags,
Give us back our bags!
We want the bags,
Give us back our bags!
We’re gonna clean this city up,
We’re gonna clean this shitty up.
We’ve got a real poopless thing,
Going on, clean it up,
There’s a whole lot of
Scooping going down.
We’ve got a real poopless thing,
Going on, clean it up,
There’s a whole lot of
Scooping going down.
We want the bags,
Give us back our bags!
We need our bags,
Give us back our bags!
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:04 am rating: 90
#43
MJaz
That’s quite a delimma. What if you are a juvenile/adult delinquent with a pooch who needs to poo? (Why is poo such a funny word? Poo, poop, poopie.. they are all side-stitchers).
Leave the bags alone.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:12 am rating: 90
#44
Canthz_B
I was going to try to tackle “Atomic Dog”.
Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-yay!
Maybe when I grow up.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:23 am rating: 90
#45
Putz
ah ha. the bandits have been zeroed in on. one more note posted and they’ll be caught.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:30 am rating: 90
#46
Putz
I like the aggressive dog ad at the bottom of this page.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:31 am rating: 90
#47
Reality
How do you all make up these songs so quickly it would take me days to write anything comparable. It is all part of the fun of this site no matter what the subject someone always comes up with great lyrics. Why is this all so hilarious?
LOL does not “Doo” it justice.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:33 am rating: 90
#48
A.A guy
True story…..The city of Toronto ultra-promoted the plastic dog dirt collection program,soon like minded citizens were putting out extra bags along forest trails,parks ect.Well it turns out the city didn’t plan for success and soon the ratio of fido waste became a health hazzard.
The soulution? Dog owners have been asked to scoop and bring rovers leavings home! This has led to a bizzare phenominum,almost anywhere dogs are walked you will find clear bags of canine residue tied to fences,trees and garbage cans(I’ve even seen one on a telephone pole).
I can’t wait for our first ice storm.God bless city hall.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:41 am rating: 90
#49
A.A guy
Sorry,by ratio I mean’t dog crap to garbage in the waste recepticles.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:44 am rating: 90
#50
Canthz_B
Last I checked crap was biodegradeable. Why not just leave the baggies on the steps of City Hall? They made the Crap Law, let them deal with the crap! LOL
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:50 am rating: 90
#51
A.A guy
Maybe it might be better if we just stepped in it and spread the responsibility around.
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:58 am rating: 90
#52
Canthz_B
That escalating anger is fucking delicious!
Thanks Terry!
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:03 am rating: 90
#53
D
wow… that’s some nice anger in the neighborhood
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:05 am rating: 90
#54
Canthz_B
Let’s just assume Mr. Rogers does NOT live there!
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: 90
#55
Canthz_B
“Hello boys and girls, today we’re going to talk about canine feces. What’s that? You’ve never heard of canine feces? well boys and girls, that’s dog shit!”
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:10 am rating: 90
#56
ian in hamburg
Maybe I’m not clear on the concept of P-A here, but it seems to me that unless you stake out the spot 24/7 to catch in the act these idiots who are slicing apart bags of shit – leaving yourself open to accusations of stalking and not having a life – you have to leave a note to get your point across. I for one hope they catch whoever it is and rub his face in it.
Nov 12, 2007 at 2:16 am rating: 90
#57
Canthz_B
“Atomic Dog” riff…
This is the story of some crapping dogs,
When the dog raises his tail,
It’s a done deal.
These are crapping dogs,
Defecating dogs,
Just plain nasty dogs.
Dogs, let’s drop poop tonight!
Bowel moving dogs,
Incontinent dogs.
Doo doo doing dogs.
Why must I poop like that,
Why must I leave my shit shat?
Nothing but the dog in me.
Clean af-ter your dog!
Clean af-ter your dog!
Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay,
Bow wow yip-yippy yippy yo yippy yay!
Nov 12, 2007 at 2:51 am rating: 90
#58
Troy McClure
Holy shit shat CB, & you “scooped” #69 too!
Nov 12, 2007 at 5:11 am rating: 90
#59
Bean
I usually just lurk around here, but, this morning, I had to comment… Wade, and Canthz B, you two made my morning with those little ditties. Thanks.
Nov 12, 2007 at 6:34 am rating: 90
#60
Andy
Wow. What is it about dog shit that brings out the worst in people.
Oh yeah. It’s because it’s dog shit!
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:12 am rating: 90
#61
Camilla
I wonder if the “Leave Bags Alone” part is a reference to the “Leave Britney Alone” video?
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:15 am rating: 90
#62
Andy
Also, if I was truly the adult delinquent, I wouldn’t cut off the bottom of the bags. I’d pin a full bag, along with a nice note on the front saying, “Thanks for letting me borrow the bag, reuse, recycle, and all that!”
I’d probably but a smiley face on it, too.
That’s why I have a bag dispenser attached to my dog’s leash, so I don’t have to rely on douchebags.
Hmmm… is that line in “Streetcar Named Desire”: “I’ve always depended on the kindness of douchebags.” Yeah, that’s where I got it.
Team bring your own poop bag next walk.
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:19 am rating: 90
#63
anglophile
I think the explanation of the repeated use of “doggie” is that the sign maker has confused the two terms doggie bag and dog poop baggie. One is full of delightful leftovers to be enjoyed at home later, if your roommate Michelle doesn’t beat you too it, and the other–well, not so much.
Nov 12, 2007 at 8:23 am rating: 90
#64
WanderingPenguin
I was so hoping you would say, “and the other….contains food”, anglophile.
Nov 12, 2007 at 8:45 am rating: 90
#65
Team Cassandra
Hey #73…Actually, I’m pretty sure its a basic outcry for this particular variety of OCD. If you listen closely to the rhythm, you can hear that it makes an excellent mantra.
Nov 12, 2007 at 8:54 am rating: 90
#66
WanderingPenguin
Nothing like a little P-Funk to really get the week started off right, CB. And you did two of them. Astounding!
Nov 12, 2007 at 8:56 am rating: 90
#67
Josie
If the free bags are going to be mutilated and stolen… Wouldn’t it just make more sense to remind pet owners that they should bring a bag with them to clean up after their dogs?
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:02 am rating: 90
#68
toni
Does anyone ever wonder why people take the time to seal the most biodegradable substance in the world in plastic bags and send it off to overcrowded landfills to sit for the next 2000 years?
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:10 am rating: 90
#69
Team"the oh shit files"
OH SHIT!!! they’ve caught on to me…
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:11 am rating: 90
#70
anglophile
# 76: Crap, if I’d thought of that, WP, I might’ve made “Word!” Dang! Now I’ll have to wait for another note.
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:14 am rating: 90
#71
Wade
Judging from the origami-like quality of the folded bags, along with the ever-increasing hysteria over the removal of bags, I would agree that OCD has merged with PA into a fireball of raging mania, whose thoughtfulness will not be denied!
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:15 am rating: 90
#72
WanderingPenguin
Whee! There’s nothing better than having George Clinton stuck in your head on a Monday morning. I am loving this!
Anyone for some Daft Punk? Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger?
Stoop and; scoop it; bag it; take it.
Leave it; never; please and; thank you.
Soft or; hard it; doesn’t; matter.
Cold and; smells bad; really; a lot!
Stoop and; scoop it; bag it; take it.
Leave it; never; please and; thank you.
Stoop and leave it, scoop it never, bag it please and, take it thank you;
Soft or cold and hard it smells bad doesn’t really matter a lot!
Stoop and leave it, scoop it never, bag it please and, take it thank you;
Soft or cold and hard it smells bad doesn’t really matter a lot!
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 90
#73
wicked opinion
#38 & #47 – THAT is why I link to this site! You guys made my morning! I have to work today unlike the rest of the country…but that made up for it BIG TIME. Thank you! Now back to cruising the Internet on the clock
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:16 am rating: 90
#74
anglophile
#80, I think the reason would be because, as anyone who has ever lived next door to lazy dog-owning neighbors can tell you, doggie ‘poop’ stinks!
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:17 am rating: 90
#75
Andy Warhol
I pass these signs on Union Street all the time, am shocked to find that this is the first time that they are up here on PGN.
Oddly enough, I’ve never seen a dog poop problem on that block, ever. Plastic bags and sign or not…
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:20 am rating: 90
#76
Troy McClure
Wade, #84: would that be an eight-tentacled fireball of raging mania? (Because if so we could call it an OCDPAs.)
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:32 am rating: 90
#77
Mishee
Maybe we should all get an “Ufe”
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#78
Team Cassandra
Oh, Snap!
Whether you’re an adult or juvenile
Don’t you know that these bags make people smile?
Bag Snatcher, go find another thrill.
‘Less you want dog poop up in your grill.
Hey, loser, stop cutting off the bag!
Get a life, pet your dog, comb his shag!
I’m gonna get a Heisa Monster, don’t you know?
Delinquent, reform yourself cuz here we go…
How come every time I come around
My poopie, poopie bags wanna come down?
You Deli, deli, deli,
Wanna come down, like, Deli, deli, deli
Delinquent, you.
How come every time I come around
My poopie, poopie bags wanna come down?
You Deli, deli, deli,
Wanna come down, like, Deli, deli, deli
Delinquent, you.
Thanks to the few of you pickin up your doggie poop, poop on the guy who stole my bags…
(I love this line, she’s really saying: Drinks start pourin’ and my speech starts slurrin’, everybody start lookin’ real good…:)
La…La,la,la,la…Doo doo, doo doo, …(Thanks to the few of you pickin up your poop)
La…La,la,la,la…Doo doo, doo doo, …(Poop on the poopie dude who doesn’t poop and scoop)
La…La,la,la,la…Doo doo, doo doo, …(Thanks to the few of you pickin up your poop)
La…La,la,la,la…Doo doo, doo doo, …(Poop on the poopie dude who doesn’t poop and scoop)
I have a theory that the Gods of Pan manipulate song lyrics out of us. I’m SO happy to oblige when I can
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y71S8X1iImU
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:38 am rating: 90
#79
Ozymandias
Is a wry chuckle re: 89 enough? It is sheer genius of course, just don’t think I’m PASHY or ROTFLMAO material. ROTFGroaning?
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#80
ShagnBag
Bring your own fucking poop bags. I don’t want to see your poop, your dog’s poop, signs talking about poop, or even signs about poop bags in my neighborhood.
I like the term ‘bag snatcher’ though. I’m not really sure where to go with it. Maybe the next super-villain.
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:40 am rating: 90
#81
WanderingPenguin
Wow, Troy – #89.
What the hell is the matter with you?
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 90
#82
Troy McClure
WP, there are certain directions in which a person can go hardly any distance at all, before it becomes a concern to someone else. Then there are other, subtler directions in which ones behaviour can diverge from the norm; almost before people realise they’re worried, they’re deeply unsettled. That idea is a magnet to me.
Or more probably I simply need to go to bed.
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:50 am rating: 90
#83
Ozymandias
Troy
#96
“we’ve already got the plastic bags full of undesirable substances”
Well, at least the poopster know his plastic bags have been put to their rightful use.
Your nickname wouldn’t be “juvie”, would it?
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:53 am rating: 90
#84
Liz
Just put the poop in the garbage. Just get it over with…why create an extra step of putting the poop on the tree…taking the poop off the tree then putting the poop into the garbage. Why all the added stink and frustration when you can get it over with so much easier. hmm…
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:57 am rating: 90
#85
Mishee
Liz, that #100 was kinda a “head scratcher” (and not due to lice)…
The BAGS are pinned to the tree so owners have one when they pick up after their dogs and then dispose of the bags in a proper trash receptacle…
Are you still with me now…?
Nov 12, 2007 at 10:06 am rating: 90
#86
GhostWriter
All that trouble could be solved with a single word change. Everybody knows that true P/A vandalism is only performed by adolescent delinquents. It’s a hormonal thing.
The note writer is simply marketing to the wrong segment.
Nov 12, 2007 at 10:07 am rating: 90
#87
Ariadne
I don’t know if the signs appear here in chronological order, but it looks to me like the poopie-bag provider is sliding further and further into a pathological breakdown. The first signs are neatly typed and printed, with red and green accent colours (Canadian spelling, folks). By the second and third signs, he/she has been reduced to a hasty enraged scrawl in magic marker – with ANGRY underlines! Hmm – where is that “psychotic marker” font when you need it?
And yet – the bags are still neatly folded!
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: 90
#88
BoggyWoggy
I like the way the word “LIFE” at the end of the last photo looks like “UFE.”
Alright, all you losers, get a ufe!
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:04 am rating: 90
#89
Ariadne
Sorry, I probably mean “psychological breakdown”.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:05 am rating: 90
#90
WickedLady
I felt like trying a song as well. It’s Baba O’Reilly by The Who.
Out here in the park
We run and we bark
We realise the purpose of living
We all have to poop
Our owners all scoop
Good thing those free bags are given
Don’t howl
Don’t even growl
Though our baggies’re destroyed
Owner, take my leash
All I can say is sheesh
I’ll hold it in
But not for that much longer
The delinquents are here
The end of pooping is near
Find some other grass
My sphincter gets much stronger
Doggie baggies
Our doggie baggies
Doggie baggies
Oh, oh
Doggie baggies
They’re all stolen!
Is it any good?
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:05 am rating: 90
#91
nessy
We have one neighbor who thinks she is queen of the corner. Her dog goes leashless, runs through yards & gardens while she walks back & forth home-studio and shits wherever she’s not watching it, which would be gardens, terrace, yards. We ID the turds by size. I tried leaving a really PA note on the sidewalk last year, but naturally, it was the day after she left for Mexico for the winter. Sigh.
Perhaps I need to send her a song. Anonymously. In the mail. On a postcard for our carrier (also a neighbor) to read.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: 90
#92
nessy
Or I could just staple bags to a tree with a big note encased in plastic.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: 90
#93
Canthz_B
What good is an Unusable Fire Extinguisher?
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:28 pm rating: 90
#94
Canthz_B
Oh, I see…It’s a Universal Feces Extractor!
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:29 pm rating: 90
#95
Canthz_B
Very useful for removing Unwanted Funky Excrement!
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: 90
#96
unholyghost2003
Very PA, but I must say I wish someone PA like that lived around me. I hate when taking my dog for a quick walk to the store or something (20 min after she pooed in my own yard so poo bags SHOULDN’t be needed) she squats and poos 1 block from my house! FIE UPON YOU DOG! You were saving that to get me in trouble wern’t you?!?
Anywho, what is WRONG with the people cutting the bags and putting them back? Do they LIKE poo covered sidewalks? Do they think “This will teach them to clean up after their dogs! Now I can wallow in the filth of strange animals! HAHAHA!”
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:37 pm rating: 90
#97
Canthz_B
Hey WP, another P-Funk song that I will not re-write…
Promentalshitbackwashpsychosisenamasquad (The Doo Doo Chasers) fits this note a bit too!
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 90
#98
Canthz_B
I hear you UHG2003!
My dog usually makes two “boomers” so I carry two bags. He never fails to find a third when there are others on the sidewalk near us. Even worse, this last one takes forever to complete so I stand there looking stupid!
Nov 12, 2007 at 12:43 pm rating: 90
#99
Lurker
Where there’s poop, there’s assholes.
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:04 pm rating: 90
#100
cre8tivewmn
#80 I’ve heard from several sources that dog poop is an environmental hazard. Leaving it to biodegrade is bad for water systems, etc.
Of course, this info will only ramp up the hysteria about dog poo in a neighborhood. “You’re trying to kill my kids and ruin the environment!”
I am a dog owner and I clean up after my dog. It is just common courtesy. I wish it was a little more common, though!
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:08 pm rating: 90
#101
unholyghost2003
CB I know! Then you are stuck. do you want to be the creep who talks about dog poo with strangers? “I usually have bags, I swear! Heh, does this just to make me look bad. heh heh heh” Or do you look like a jerk who doesn’t clean up after their dog? the next option is to just FILL your pockets with bags and look like a lumpy freaks who over feed their dog.
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:09 pm rating: 90
#102
Canthz_B
#120…Not harmful to water systems…it has been biodegraded. By that logic the poop of all wild animals should be cleaned up for the sake of our water systems. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going on a squirrel poop hunt today.
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:16 pm rating: 90
#103
unholyghost2003
#120
other than pH how is dog poop different than people poop? I would think th envioromental danger would be about the same. Not to mention that in town (which is the only place where people pick up the poop) MUCH worse things seep into the water table, car fumes, motor oil, industrial cleaners and so on.
Not that I am calling you out, but poop scooping is about clean shoes not clean water. (water is processed and cleaned LONG before it comes out of your faucet and long after it washes over the dog poop.)
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
#104
Canthz_B
Let alone the fact that our drinking water has most probably been through a water treatment facility before it reaches our taps.
This may not be the case in all communities I suppose.
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:21 pm rating: 90
#105
GhostWriter
Yes “Pooper O’Reilly” at #107 is extra-fine!
…and if you missed Pooper O’Reilly at 107, catch him later tonight on Fox!
We need to select an appropriate date for an all-song-parody comment spectacular!
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:33 pm rating: 90
#106
WickedLady
Woohoo, my first song is extra-fine!
Thanks, GW.
Dog poop has never been a problem here. We just let our dogs run wild at the dog park and every once in a while some guys come clean it up. Although some people let them poop at playgrounds and such, that’s just nasty.
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:51 pm rating: 90
#107
Canthz_B
Someone needs to start “song parody dot com” for all of this pent up talent!
Nov 12, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 90
#108
Kay Richardson
I wonder if the dogs are involved in this crime? You can get very intelligent dogs. They’re bred to be intelligent, you know.
Nov 12, 2007 at 2:23 pm rating: 90
#109
MJaz
http://www.doggiepoopcatcher.com/faq.htm
I think it’s like a catcher’s mitt for the poo – but my eyes were tearing up by the end of the page.
Nov 12, 2007 at 2:38 pm rating: 90
#110
WickedLady
#133: My eyes too. They have google at the bottom!
That Doggie Poop Catcher’s actually quite a good idea for dog owners, I think.
Nov 12, 2007 at 2:46 pm rating: 90
#111
unholyghost2003
My pro bully breed indignant ire is irked by the “Got an Agressive dog?” ad at the bottom. No, I do NOT have an agressive dog. My dog DOES have an agressive pair of owners though.
Nov 12, 2007 at 2:53 pm rating: 90
#112
Canthz_B
I like my dog’s aggression! Stay the fuck away from my house when I’m not here!!
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:07 pm rating: 90
#113
Canthz_B
That came out meaner than I meant it! Sorry
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:11 pm rating: 90
#114
unholyghost2003
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:17 pm rating: 90
#115
Oti
Next will be a guy/gal diven to the point of insain obssesion hiding in the tree with a pitch fork awaiting the return of the ‘doggie poop bag cutter/snatcher’.
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:21 pm rating: 90
#116
Canthz_B
UHG2003…The bark of my dog is very effective, but my burglar would be a drowning victim I’m afraid!
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:25 pm rating: 90
#117
Oti
Maybe it’ll be with a pooper scooper filled with freshly scooped poop instead of a pitch fork. I like that better.
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:32 pm rating: 90
#118
Canthz_B
I vote for a punji pit Oti! LOL
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:35 pm rating: 90
#119
Oti
Perhapse even a plastic bag with it’s bottom cut open smeared with doggie poop would get the message accross better to though.
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:35 pm rating: 90
#120
Oti
A punji pit filled with fresh doggie poop !
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:37 pm rating: 90
#121
PickleDeeDee
#80 They sell biodegradable poopie bags now, but never mind that we drop them in garbage bags which probably are not…..
You can also shop at some groceries that use biodegradable bags and use them as well.
I got told off by some old crow one day because my dog had diarrhea and on his 10th unsatisfactory squat I didn’t “fake a pick up” of the water droplets that fell from his butt. I showed her my roll of poop bags and I asked her if she wanted to come look for herself. What a busy body. I told her she may want to pick on the joggers who have nothing on but shorts and running with their unleashed dogs, unless they are hiding poopies bags up their body cavities, I don’t think they are poop picker uppers.
Nov 12, 2007 at 3:50 pm rating: 90
#122
A.A guy
I don’t own a dog but I always scoop up after myself.I even carry a 3rd bag just in case.I think this over-zealousness has guilted out the dog owners in my area as no one ever talks to me.
Nov 12, 2007 at 4:19 pm rating: 90
#123
WanderingPenguin
Nessy would seem to have a whole ‘nother problem entirely on her block.
“We have one neighbor who thinks she is queen of the corner. Her dog goes leashless, runs through yards & gardens while she walks back & forth home-studio and shits wherever she’s not watching it, which would be gardens, terrace, yards. ”
Maybe the “queen of the corner” should learn how to use the “throne” and not crap on her neighbs’ lawns. What a disgusting habit!
Nov 12, 2007 at 4:27 pm rating: 90
#124
Beppo
That’s what I call a shit storm.
Nov 12, 2007 at 4:35 pm rating: 90
#125
unholyghost2003
I think I am struggling because the NOTES are not super PA but cutting the bottoms off the bags? THAT is PA. WOW. I am just stuck on what happened to make the thief/cutter so against the removal of poo.
Nov 12, 2007 at 4:39 pm rating: 90
#126
Oti
Thankyou A.A. guy for being a good example to those unscrupulus fools who don’t scoop up after themselves when they poop in a park.
I’m sure they’ll come around and recognize your efforts soon enough, than you can all poop in the park together with the doggies.
Nov 12, 2007 at 4:41 pm rating: 90
#127
Ariadne
#147 – WP – LOL – I’ve seen humans that I would suspect of this exact habit – ewww!
Nov 12, 2007 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
#128
anglophile
#133, MJaz, thanks for that link! I especially liked the photographic evidence that the Doggie Poop Catcher works on multiple breeds. ROFL!
Nov 12, 2007 at 5:13 pm rating: 90
#129
TeeHee
Team juvenile/adult deliquent. Must be really fun messing with that freak!
Nov 12, 2007 at 5:48 pm rating: 90
#130
nessy
WP–my bad on the not-so-carefully edited sentence! I’m usually so much better.
I have no idea where the Queen of Neighborhood “does her business” … but if one thinks about her responsibility for cleaning up after Prince Dog, perhaps the poo *is* hers after all!
Nov 12, 2007 at 6:00 pm rating: 90
#131
Canthz_B
http://youtube.com/watch?v=T62XibPMlXw
I’d Rather Pooper Scoop, to the tune of I’d Rather be With you.
I’d rather pooper-scoo-oop, yeah.
Yeah, I’d rather pooper-scoop.
I’d rather pooper-scoo-oop, yeah.
Yeah, I’d rather pooper-scoop.
I wanna be the one that cleans the ground,
No matter if anyones around.
I’d rather be the guy who cleans,
No matter what that may mean.
I’ll pick up steaming poo,
When the day’s begun.
It’s my responsibility,
It don’t weigh a ton.
I’d rather pooper-scoo-oop, yeah.
Ooo Baby, Yeah, I’d rather pooper-scoop.
I’d rather pooper-scoo-oop, yeah.
Yeah, I’d rather pooper-scoop.
Nov 12, 2007 at 6:03 pm rating: 90
#132
Cimmy
Team I Bring My Own Damn Poo Bags.
Nov 12, 2007 at 6:42 pm rating: 90
#133
WanderingPenguin
Nah, it’s not dogs I have any issue with, it’s the owners. Ok, it’s city dog owners. Ok, it’s really most proper to say it’s Toronto dog owners (as a general rule, but of course not all of them) because I don’t really have anything to go on w.r.t. other cities. And since I want to “get out of Dodge” anyhow, send the puppy! As long as the espresso isn’t for the puppy, that is.
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:02 pm rating: 90
#134
Team Cassandra
I’ve had many dogs in Toronto. I will confess that I have let a poop or two go, but only if they were hidden. But I’ve done the math – I’ve scooped well over 10,000 poos. My family dog was a roamer, its true, but that was back in the day (Sarah Silverman recently asked in song “Where did the white poo from the 70′s go?”)
My pit (life partner – the only dog I had from birth to death) was incredibly embarrassed to see me, his Mama, handling poo. Everytime he pooed (sp?) he tried to help me run away and hide ie. he would run, tryna pull me along with him on the leash.
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:19 pm rating: 90
#135
Canthz_B
TC, I’m lucky sort of like that too. Rocky is a modest Lab. He likes to go behind bushes, dumpsters and the like…I still need my bags for his “out there” boomers, but like I said earlier, I clean up if anyone’s around! LOL
I DO love the embarrassed look they get on their little faces as they drop a deuce though!
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:26 pm rating: 90
#136
Mishee
#156 WP – your opinion isn’t a Popular one??
What happened to Team Itinerant Aquatic Bird!!??
I personally believe you have a very popular opinion!!
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:30 pm rating: 90
#137
Canthz_B
I too suspect there is a large community of WP worshipers lurking about.
They’re just afraid to heap praise lest their grammar be flawed! LOL
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:39 pm rating: 90
#138
super_fan#99
I would give anything, ANYTHING, to find a note like that with plastic baggies in it. I have a much better idea for them than cutting the bottoms out.
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:43 pm rating: 90
#139
Mishee
ewww superfan! that’s just WRONG!
Nov 12, 2007 at 7:57 pm rating: 90
#140
Canthz_B
I’m waiting for the 2nd shoe to drop on that remark SF99.
Nov 12, 2007 at 8:00 pm rating: 90
#141
Oti
We could do a count down, number by post! I claim post #172. Not a really good idea is it ?
Nov 12, 2007 at 9:49 pm rating: 90
#142
Oti
You know here in CA we have tree activists who would really be pissed about tacking a sign to a tree…but than again they put spikes in trees…thats the tree activists’ way of making a point.
Nov 12, 2007 at 10:03 pm rating: 90
#143
goose
What’s the chance that it’s the council removing this loon’s baggies and insane ranting notes?
Nov 12, 2007 at 10:19 pm rating: 90
#144
Mishee
Call the Banana Slug Students who are busy protecting the trees – once they get their eyes washed out, they will be on it, Oti!
Nov 12, 2007 at 10:26 pm rating: 90
#145
super_fan#99
I don’t even have a dog but that sign would piss me off if I saw it on the street. I still can’t get over it. How could you write something like that and actually expect people to leave it alone?
Mind boggling, but I am just a silly redneck, so there ya go.
Nov 12, 2007 at 10:59 pm rating: 90
#146
Canthz_B
Is that a “Redneck” dance? We could import it into “The ‘Hood”!
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: 90
#147
A.A guy
I used to thumb tack my condoms to the wall next to my bed so I wouldn’t lose them.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: 90
#148
super_fan#99
That thing where you can see all the searches that led to this page….maybe that’s only for the PAN Gods to know. I’d be curious to see this one though.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#149
A.A guy
Hey SF99; If I glued tiny antlers to little doggie heads on the first Monday after Thanksgiving what would be the mortality rate (+ or – 10%)
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:17 pm rating: 90
#150
super_fan#99
Well for the first day of rifle season we have a simple rule here…brown and down.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:19 pm rating: 90
#151
GVI
Fanny is an even funnier word.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:29 pm rating: 90
#152
Canthz_B
PALEEEZ poop can’t hold the jock strap of BOOGER!!
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: 90
#153
Canthz_B
I mean, really…look in the mirror and say BOOGER and keep a straight face!
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:47 pm rating: 90
#154
Troy McClure
#190: “Brown and down”; I think you’re almost on topic, despite yourself!
#191–193: Didn’t we have “phenominum” yesterday? That was a pretty hilarious word. Well, hilarious anyway.
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 90
#155
Canthz_B
SF99…That “Brown and down” rule will keep my behind out of the woods for sure! LOL
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#156
Reality
How about a ryhme about,
“MY DOGGIE IS “BIN” TRAINED”
Nov 12, 2007 at 11:53 pm rating: 90
#157
morpho aurora
#186 – lol – are you my daddy?
#190 – sounds like some people where i live – they shoot at the statues in the yards – which brand of silly redneck are you?
Nov 13, 2007 at 12:09 am rating: 90
#158
WanderingPenguin
No no no – I wasn’t complaining about the dog poop in Toronto – that is far from the issue around where I live. People are actually really conscientious around here about that sort of thing. It’s just….ok, look. I said I wasn’t going to get into it.
You can’t make me, na na na boo boo.
#165 & 166 – you guys are gonna make me cry.
Ok, perhaps the few pints I downed tonight with a close friend might help me on the way there. Holy wow, I do enjoy a good beer buzz.
I think I spelled everything right, but I make no promises as the room is not being co-operative! See you all tomorrow.
Nov 13, 2007 at 2:04 am rating: 90
#159
joe peppitone
Eegad! those signs are an eyesore
Nov 13, 2007 at 8:09 am rating: 90
#160
A.A guy
Morpho; If your mother was a dirty little whore who slept with drunken amoral underachieving nitwits ,then yes I may be your father.(check for a Maple Leaf shaped birthmark on your ass)
Nov 13, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 90
#161
dave
hahahaahahah ;D
http://imdavevalk.blogspot.com
Nov 13, 2007 at 10:50 am rating: 90
#162
morpho aurora
AAG – no that sounds more like my girlfriend’s mom – her birthmark doesn’t look very maple leaf shaped though
Nov 13, 2007 at 11:28 am rating: 90
#163
RP
What does the delinquent get out of cutting up the bags? It’s like that guy that dumped itching powder on kids so he could video tape them scratching themselves.
The bag cutter is a freak!
Nov 13, 2007 at 5:28 pm rating: 90
#164
TDW
You folks must have a boring life if all you’ve got to talk about is crap!!!!!
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:02 pm rating: 90
#165
Canthz_B
Yours must be really shitty if all you can do is read about it TDW…Tired, Dumb and Witless I gather!
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:28 pm rating: 90
#166
Mishee
GVI – u r such a looser! y don’t u jest git a real job and a life! Oh shit, i gotta go my mom is calling me…
bitch!
P.S. SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT
Nov 15, 2007 at 12:46 am rating: 90
#167 seriously!?!
[...] the inimitable jeff rubin passes along this note from the foyer of his park slope apartment building. yup, that’s what you think it is there on the floor. (perhaps a hapless victim of the bag-tampering deliquent?) [...]
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:02 am rating: 90
#168
Dave Ward
The poop bag wars are continuing….
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lasadh/2101784303/
Dec 11, 2007 at 4:34 am rating: 90
#169
Sundaeg1rl
Hey hey hey, no need to get shitty!
Dec 11, 2007 at 3:44 pm rating: 90
#170
fuhuck
This one’s easy. Take the day off work. Lurk. Find whoever’s leaving dog shit around. Corner them, and shove it down their throat. They won’t do it again.
Sep 3, 2008 at 6:27 pm rating: 90
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