Carlina in Texas is close with her parents, but she’s been having a bit of a rough time lately. Apparently Carlina’s mother has grown tired of her daughter’s apathy/hostility/general malaise, and slipped this classic mom note under her door.
If that note didn’t remind you of your own mom, perhaps you can relate to this one from Alexandra (or rather, her friend) which displays a more familiar variety of maternal guilt trip. it’s like your teenage years condensed into note form!
P.S. Carlina says she definitely plans to take her mom up on the dinner.
related: Cleaning party!
<
216 responses so far ↓
#1
kureshii
First!!!
Better than teen angst: parental angst =)
No, I don’t find mums or teenage daughters or family dinners particularly delicious…
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:31 am rating: 0
#2
Mishee
These reek of my mother, circa 1995. I wonder if I could dig up one of her old notes.
And on the second note, how can this kid PAY her way out, unless mom provides money? I mean, if she doesn’t know responsibility, then she probably doesn’t have a job..
GET A JOB!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:46 am rating: 0
#3
Mishee
And that food that nobody eats anyways was fucking delicious
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:46 am rating: 6
#4
Canthz_B
Yeah, I always beg my kid to spent time with me at his convenience…NOT!!!
Grow spine Mom!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:48 am rating: 1
#5
Canthz_B
Putting the note on the vacuum cleaner won’t work, Anthony goes nowhere near it…but it’s fuckinkgdelicious nevertheless!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:51 am rating: 0
#6
Canthz_B
That underlined “NO” in note two indicates that Mom has previously taken cash for domestic services…sick family.
“Mom, Dude, he’s six bucks. Clean my room and have dinner ready a six…I might be home or out with Carlina”.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:58 am rating: 0
#7
Canthz_B
NO DAMN IT! *”HERE’RE SIX BUCKS”!!!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:00 am rating: 0
#8
Canthz_B
OK, it’s too late…
“Mom, Dude, here’s six bucks. Clean my room and have dinner ready at six. I may be home or out with Carlina”
With that I’m off to bed!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:05 am rating: 1
#9
WickedLady
My mom would never leave me notes like that. In fact, she never leaves any notes, I never know where to find her when she’s not at home.
That first note has some fucking delicious psychology behind it. I use that on my best friend when he’s being a pain in the ass.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:36 am rating: 1
#10
K'sMom
I write notes like this in lipstick on my daughter’s bathroom mirror.
Nov 14, 2007 at 6:12 am rating: 0
#11
Paul
How awesome would it have been if Mom #2 had started off with “Your Mother doesn’t work here!” ?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:00 am rating: 0
#12
WickedLady
Paul, if that daughter can buy her way out of doing chores, I think her mother does work there.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:09 am rating: 0
#13
allister
Umm, thats a nice lookin vacuum cleaner.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:27 am rating: 1
#14
Wade
Nevermind?
Maybe her mom was tired of smelling her teen spirit.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:34 am rating: 1
#15
Wade
Carlina might have accepted the invitation if her mom had said “Come as you are.”
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:36 am rating: 1
#16
MJaz
Note number two looks like it’s from a future serial-killer’s mom
I wonder what came after the comma?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:39 am rating: 2
#17
Reality
That first note made me want to throw up a little, I think the parents should never resort to the “anything you want Honey, we wouldn’t want to get in your way. Crap!” It should be all in one big swoop no note more like “WE are going to have Dinner at six so get to the vacumming before we go!”
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:40 am rating: 0
#18
Ozymandias
Or, Wade, re #16, 17, if she’d slipped it in a heart shaped box, but then it wouldn’t have fit under the door. And it wouldn’t have been from the relevant album, but, oh… nevermind
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:43 am rating: 0
#19
Troy McClure
Unless, like A.A. guy, you’re sufficiently without responsibility to thumbtack your condoms to the wall before use. Then life probably does come.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:47 am rating: 1
#20
Wade
If no one will eat the food, is it really fixed?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:49 am rating: 0
#21
Wade
Both notes look like a case of “Territorial Pissing”.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:51 am rating: 0
#22
Wade
Ha, OZ!
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 0
#23
Andy
The first one was taken straight out of the official Mom Playbook. See, you could take the “No, nevermind…” in two ways: The logical way is to think she’s saying “nevermind” in a whole martyr-ish way — as in “I’m so sorry to burden you with my issues”.
However, the way I am taking it, and this is from the Advanced Mom Playbook, is that that “nevermind” was reneging on the statement “We don’t have to… if it’s too much trouble.”
My Mom would never had left me the note, she would just provide the same things via sound bites.
As for the second note, I love the rambling nature of it, it’s quintessential Mom. However, yet again, I’m missing the other page of a note! I need closure.
Unless, the Mom just trailed off at that point. If that’s the case, bravo!
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 1
#24
Wade
Is there any psychological significance to using a food-related term of endearment in addressing your daughter, then inviting her to dinner?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:55 am rating: 0
#25
Andy
Wade, I’m not touching that one. Nuh-uh.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:56 am rating: 0
#26
Andy
Mornin’, WL. I’m just getting my dose of P/A goodness before I have to get my daughter to work, go to work, clean the house (that people will eventually mess up again), cook food that people won’t eat,
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:58 am rating: 2
#27
Wade
I might call shenanigans on the second note. The ragged edge of the paper looks suspiciously like pixelation, like when you rotate an image to diagonal.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:59 am rating: 1
#28
Wade
ROFL, Andy.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:00 am rating: 0
#29
Reality
Anyone notice that vacuum handle kinda looks like a rifle ?
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:02 am rating: 0
#30
Andy
Wade: It has been rotated. Did you click on the picture to see the original? It’s rotated like 170 degrees. To make it legible, I’m assuming it was rotated to bring here.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:04 am rating: 0
#31
Wade
I went to the original picture and it looks ok there. the image we have was rotated so we can read it better. shenanigans averted.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:04 am rating: 0
#32
Wade
great minds, Andy, great minds
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:05 am rating: 0
#33
Andy
Whew. *moves shenanigans color down to green*
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:05 am rating: 1
#34
Andy
The thing is, I had to eyeball the placement of all the items before and after rotation to convince myself, though. It took only a second, but still. I’m such a dork sometimes.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:14 am rating: 0
#35
Reality
What is this? YOUR MOM ON DRUGS!
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:17 am rating: 0
#36
Reality
Or maybe Mom is split personality.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:20 am rating: 0
#37
Ozymandias
Wade, cheers for the ‘HA!’
#26, In reference to calling someone food and then inviting them out to dinner – I’m sure there’s a precedent – Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Bread Crumbs, Poisoned Apples, I’m thinking along those lines, but I’m not quite there yet. Little Red Riding Hood, maybe. ‘Grandma, what big teeth you have’ – ‘All the better to eat you with, my dear’.
The fixed dinner image, #22, now has taxidermist images in my head, or rather the result of his or her handiwork. Or, another tangent, those plastic replicas of food you get outside of restaurants (in Japan, anyway).
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:22 am rating: 1
#38
Ozymandias
Who’s on drugs, Reality?: “Anyone notice that vacuum handle kinda looks like a rifle ?”
Ah, that’s right, it’s probably me…:-)
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:24 am rating: 0
#39
WickedLady
Judging by the floor in photo #2, the room is pretty clean and if taking responsibility means doing the laundry and spend energy on fixing food that no one will eat, I’ll pass.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#40
Ozymandias
“Maternal cannibalism” is a term in relation to fairytales. It’s where that wicked Google lead me while I was following those breadcrumbs. Time to get outta here.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#41
WickedLady
cannibalism is actually quite healthy. Err, or so I heard…
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:35 am rating: 1
#42
southern girl
I love that Mom is pissed off in note #2, but she wrote the “pissed off” note on pretty paper that has an outdoorsy-type scenery on it.
Totally lost credibility there Mom.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:40 am rating: 1
#43
Reality
Yes, It looks to me that daughter is definately being held for ransom otherwise Mom would not have mentioned money. Also Big guilt trip. This time she just wants more than money! Mom definately wants daughter to feel guilty more than she wants money, Now that mom is making her own money at new job! It may be hard for you to see it that way #41 But I Do!!! So it probably is just you…..
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:49 am rating: 0
#44
Team Cassandra
You know what they say #38…
Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs.
I like the first note. I can picture myself writing something like that in the not-so-distant future.
The second note is something I’d more likely find myself screaming at the top of my lungs (sound dulled by the roar of the vaccuum, of course) if some unfortunate not-so-youngin’ should happen to say the wrong thing at the wrong time…I can easily picture my daughter triggering a psychotic break like that.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:51 am rating: 0
#45
Team Cassandra
PS…I like the comma at the end of the second note…it gives the impression of Mom walking away down the hall, all the while continuing her litany of complaints…
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:55 am rating: 1
#46
WanderingPenguin
I think the comma at the end of the second note is supposed to trigger an uncontrollable desire in the offspring to clean up the entire room so he/she/they can find the next note in the series. It’s kind of like an Easter-egg hunt only with none of the chocolaty goodness!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:11 am rating: 2
#47
m
if she’s really that close with her parents, why can’t she tell her parents (at least her mom) why she’s going through a rough patch and maybe have her mom understand that it’s not just apathy and laziness?
the second note was a little weird and misplaced
(if i was a kid that didn’t clean a lot, i wouldn’t be finding a note left on a vacuum), the first note obviously struck a chord, or else she wouldn’t be taking her mom up on the offer. so besides letter 2, points to mom.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#48
GhostWriter
It obviously wasn’t Mom who wrote that first note. The handwriting is too premeditated, yet jittery with emotion for her. It’s a textbook case of a creepy stalker disguising himself as “Mom”.
The last line would have read, “…we’ll just eat in.” but he was interrupted by the pet dog (who was silenced with a pitchfork).
After-dinner gift? Fluffy’s head in a box (heart-shaped, of course!)
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 1
#49
ShagnBag
Dear Mom,
Sure I’d love to go out to dinner with you! I love you very much and miss you also! Oh, wait, it’s too much trouble you say? Well, OK I guess… nevermind you either, guess I’ll go hit the streets and score some drugs.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:14 am rating: 2
#50
WanderingPenguin
And it really takes a bit of a sociopath to write that first note in stream-of-consciousness form and leave everything on paper at the end. Most normal people, instead of writing that they are having second thoughts, would actually have the second thought and either cross out the previous sentence or scrap the note and start over. This mom just oozes Stepford from every pore. Self-medicate much?
Team Knock on the Damn Door Already!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:15 am rating: 0
#51
WanderingPenguin
m, what about the first note or its backstory suggested to you that carlina took her up on her “offer”? I didn’t get that idea….
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:17 am rating: 0
#52
Mitsu
Sweet! the second note looks like it was written by a crazy cat lady…Carlina, is your mom the crazy cat lady?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:17 am rating: 0
#53
GhostWriter
I know where the mysterious 2nd page of the note went. It was sucked up by the sweeper, which, as labeled, provides “True High-Energy, Passive/Aggressive (HEPA) Filtration“
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:18 am rating: 1
#54
Mitsu
lol, I wish my mom would have written notes… Instead, she just used to complain out loud to us. She’s more direct than p/a.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:20 am rating: 0
#55
Mitsu
LOL! GW, so that’s what HEPA stands for! I learn something new every day!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:21 am rating: 0
#56
WanderingPenguin
Holy crap. If you actually do want some backstory to the first note, check out the “carlina” hot link. Some interesting photos to be sure… but read the captions on them. Anyone for American Beauty?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:22 am rating: 0
#57
FickleGal
The first mom note looks like my handwriting in 6th grade. I’m just sayin…
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 1
#58
T-Bone
Experiences around the T-Bone house growing up:
Dad: “Wash the goddamn dishes.”
T-Bone: “But I’m–”
Dad: *commence laserbeam stare* “WASH THE FUCKING DISHES.”
Another conversation:
T-Bone: “Mom, can I–”
Mom: “Did you vacuum the stairs like I asked?”
T-Bone: “Well, I–”
Mom: “No.”
Notes weren’t big in my house.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 3
#59
Ozymandias
Hey, GW, re #51, a PASH moment! Wouldn’t it have been great if you had clocked #52 (5 +2 =?).
Reality, #46, and #32, I actually agree with you. I just couldn’t resist the comment!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:25 am rating: 0
#60
Ozymandias
WP, re: #54, the story under the second note says “p.s. carlina says she definitely plans to take her mom up on the dinner”, but you’ve probably got to that by now, anyway. Unless it’s irony at play?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:31 am rating: 0
#61
Mishee
Maybe note #2 referencing paying out is not the child paying the mom, but actually a sibling (my brother used to offer me a few roaches to do his dishes… can you guess if I did them or not?)… I still see that mom is unappreciated… what’s new?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#62
Ariadne
I want to know what’s crossed out in the top left hand corner of the bottom note – “mom” certainly didn’t hold back in the rest of the note, so what was so bad that she scribbled it out??
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:43 am rating: 0
#63
Mishee
It actually looks like note #2 was not done… I don’t know about you but I don’t end a sentence with a comma. Plus it just seems like she didn’t finish the line of thinking she was on….
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:44 am rating: 0
#64
WanderingPenguin
Thanks, Oz. My page didn’t load properly the first time or something because I swear that wasn’t there.
…yeeeeeaaaahhhh. That’s the ticket.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:47 am rating: 0
#65
WanderingPenguin
I’ve finally gotten around to actually clicking on the second picture…and it seems pretty obvious to me now with the clearer photo in front of me that there are two pages to that second note. So now we beg the contributor – please send in that second page!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#66
GhostWriter
Dear PANGods,
As much as I enjoy this site, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of yours; to include more than one note per posting. This is confusing and overbearing for us readers, and I am sure you do not wish to be seen as confusing or overbearing. It also leads to comment sections that run into the 100′s of notes, which I’m sure is more difficult for you to manage. If you want to improve your site, may I suggest that you please limit your postings to a single note at a time? The collective site members thank you in advance for your compliance. Otherwise, I am sure we can just continue with the hundreds of comments that you will be forced to deal with, if that is what you would prefer.
~ Hope This Helps! ~
GhostWriter
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:50 am rating: 1
#67
Mishee
Oh GW – you got guts. I wouldn’t ever have the gall to second guess the almighty PAN God!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:53 am rating: 0
#68
WanderingPenguin
Uh….I didn’t vote for that.
The note with the most comments to date (as far as I can tell – 343 so far) is a picture of a clump of cat hair and some keys. So I doubt very much if posting these one at a time would slow down the comments. It would, however, lessen the impact of the second note, I think. And just imagine posting the “Espresso and Puppy” signs one…at…a…time….
Team Keep Up The Groupings!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:55 am rating: 1
#69
Mishee
I’m sorry PAN God, just like the saying goes “You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”
GW – I think she might include related notes cause sometimes we kinda bitch if the note isn’t juicy enough. I think she just wants to make sure we have enough fodder to last us the day. She can’t have an Anthony Grosso submission every day (unfortunately)…
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:55 am rating: 0
#70
GhostWriter
I am hoping they look down upon me with amusement:
“Who is this ant who dares question our dominion? Oh, it is the lowly GhostWriter! Ha HA! He makes us laugh- We shall spare him his life, for now…”
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:58 am rating: 1
#71
WanderingPenguin
For some reason, GW, when I read #77 I pictured the aliens from The Simpsons. Absolutely no idea why.
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:00 am rating: 0
#72
Reality
#60 I agree first note is young handwriting On student like notebook paper. Second note is on stationary. Maybe daughter wanted the mom in first note but got mom that wrote second one. Note number two says ” You feel guilty for me, I just don’t have time for you that is why I write notes instead of talk.
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#73
Mishee
#78 – Kodos and Kang yes, it is reiminsent of them! (BTW, if you click on the link “a kerry miller project” at the very bottom of the page… well, just do it…)
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:03 am rating: 0
#74
tara
mom’s handwriting in note #1 makes me wonder if she got pregnant at age 9.
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#75
anglophile
Mom # 1 is clearly a teacher. Look at the perfect line-hugging. Probably 2nd grade teacher.
Mom #2 is taking a class on how to guilt your children into doing the housework. She’s getting about a D+ right now, and is hoping this homework assignment will bring up her grade.
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:29 am rating: 0
#76
Zsa
note #1- Had conversations like that with my Mom but she was never psychotic enough to write it out on paper (it’s kinda like Mom#1 was having a conversation in her head)
Note#2- speed ahead about 12 years and you WILL see a note like this in my house. However, I firmly believe the note is continued on the BACK people. Gen-yus!! just enough whining to make you facinated enough to pick it up and see more. Like a train wreck~
Oh and BTW~ if Mom #2 is strung out enough to leave a note like this, you just KNOW the vacuum is in the middle of the doorway so you have to step over it to get into the room.
Kinda like the trash piled in the middle of the kitchen floor~~~just saying~
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:34 am rating: 0
#77
Wade
#76
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease Day?
LOL
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:46 am rating: 0
#78
Wade
#42 WL
I think a source of mom’s inner rage is the shag carpet, which can never be clean.
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#79
Andy
Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.
Also, please for to give us that entire note on the vacuum. Please for to give us!
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
#80
KarenLW
WP – any word from your good friend Richard Jule ?
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:02 am rating: 0
#81
Mishee
WP – did you let Richard Jule know his note was on this site??
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:03 am rating: 0
#82
WanderingPenguin
No, Karen. What a bastard, eh?
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:07 am rating: 0
#83
anglophile
One might even say, a dick.
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:09 am rating: 0
#84
Wade
, so I have to scrape uneaten food into the garbage. I might as well throw money into the trashcan. Then I have to clean the dishes and put them away, to be ready for the next meal I fix that no one will eat, and then I,
(go to page three)
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: 0
#85
KarenLW
ROFL. But I sooooo wanted him to confirm that it is his. I’m wondering if he even got your message yet.
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: 0
#86
Ariadne
#88 – LMFAO Wade @ shag rug rage!
Is she furious about her avocado-green fridge and despondent over her harvest yellow living room furniture, too?!
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:20 am rating: 0
#87
A.A guy
RE note # 1; The last time I recall seeing that bubbly hug-a-puppy type script was in grade six.This was probably the same grade that mom#1 gave birth.
Stay in school kids and if you’re dead set on getting laid in your very early teens,make sure the guys’ condoms aren’t thumb tacked to his wall .
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:35 am rating: 0
#88
WanderingPenguin
I would imagine that harvest yellow living room furniture is plastic-covered, so no worries there.
“There’s plastic on the furniture to keep it neat and clean, in the Pine-Sol® scented air somewhere that’s green…”
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:37 am rating: 0
#89
unholyghost2003
Mishee @65,
that is what I was thinking. The whole “you don’t pay your way out” sounds like one of two situations. One, younger sibling is being payed next to nothing to do older siblings chores. Mom is saying You can’t give your little brother a nickle and a peanut butter cup to vacuum! OR Two, daughter has consistently responded to demands that she pitch in around the house “because in the real world no one cleans up after you” with “I am going to be rich and pay people to cook and clean for me! I hate you anyway! You are unfair and MEAN!”
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: 0
#90
Ariadne
Hmmm Doesn’t plastic covered furniture encourage teen-aged sex?
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: 0
#91
unholyghost2003
My friend’s parents would password lock the computer and have the chore list as the scrolling screensaver. THAT was fantastic PA Parent/Child note leaving.
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:50 am rating: 0
#92
Wade
#102
It’s also how computer hackers get started, lol
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: 0
#93
A.A guy
Plastic covered furniture makes those squishy fart noises when wet.This makes it almost impossible to maintain the “I know what I’m doing face”and will act as an early warning system to even the most comatose father.
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:53 am rating: 0
#94
lola
This note reeks of low self-esteem:
Dear Sweetie Pie,
After all the years of taking care of you, maybe you’d like to spend some time with me. Or not. Either way, I’m gonna slit my wrists.
Love, MOM
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:02 pm rating: 0
#95
Ariadne
#104 – is this the voice of experience, AA?
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:11 pm rating: 0
#96
A.A guy
I grew up with a father and one brother.If you didn’t cook you didn’t eat.Don’t feel like doing laundry ?
No problem,wear your own dirt as long as you like.The same thing went for spending money(we boys always had jobs) cleaning rooms ect.
My father had no time for this boo-hoo you hate me bullshit,any parent that does deserves what they get.
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:17 pm rating: 0
#97
Canthz_B
Wade got “Word!”…Congrats “Msde PAN”!
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#98
Canthz_B
er…”Made PAN”…..I’m such a Putz!
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#99
A.A guy
Ariadne;It’s like trying to have sex in the bath tub,it only works on TV. Yes to your question and windex works on the aftermath!
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
#100
Wade
wha…? OMG! I don’t know what to say.
*sniff*
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: 0
#101
Wade
Windex, AA?
eww.
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:25 pm rating: 0
#102
unholyghost2003
WOW! Good job Wade!
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#103
Zsa
#102 UHG2003- Oh my God- I am SO keeping that on my list of Ways to Torture Your Children That Won’t Land You in Jail
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#104
Zsa
and YAY Wade!
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: 0
#105
Canthz_B
I like these notes better than my Mom’s…her’s were written on my backside with a leather belt!!
But, Oh, was my room clean!!
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:50 pm rating: 0
#106
unholyghost2003
I feel a little bad for mom #2, but if no one eats the food perhaps she should lighten her workload and stop cooking it. Much like A.A.’s household I grew up with “You want clean clothes? wash’em yourself and take mine while you are at it.” “here is dinner. You don’t like it? Fix your own food and clean up after you are done.” all of that from my mother.
Nov 14, 2007 at 12:59 pm rating: 0
#107
Ariadne
#110 – Windex?? Yikes! Reminds me of the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:14 pm rating: 0
#108
unholyghost2003
Oh and Mom #1 doesn’t have low selfesteem she is manipulative. That note might as well say “If you were a GOOD PERSON you would actually WANT to spend time with me. Despite the fac t that you are failing me as a child and failing the world as a humanbeing because you are not making yourself available to spend time with your OWN MOTHER whenever your OWN MOTHER wants to spend time with you, I still love you. NOT clearing your schedule to have dinner with me tomorrow night will be taken to mean that you are a HORRIBLE person who does NOT love her mother. I have made my peace with this idea and still love you.”
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#109
Canthz_B
You okay UGH2003? That sounded a bit cathartic!
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:22 pm rating: 0
#110
mamason
#105: Yep, mom is definitely lacking in self worth. I can imagine that in the very near future she’ll realize that self medicating just doesn’t work as it dawn’s on her that the family gathering is actually an intervention.
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#111
unholyghost2003
CB, Oh yeah I am fine
I just come from (not kidding) Jews who converted to Catholicism. Maternal guilt is something I know well!
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:29 pm rating: 0
#112
WickedLady
#88, Wade: if it can’t be cleaned, then why bother?
#120 is exactly the reason I use that on my best friend. Let the guilt trip begin. He always breaks.
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:30 pm rating: 0
#113
mamason
#120 Most people who fail to develope any sense of worth do become manipulative. They feel like crap about themselves and they want someone to convince them that they’re OK. So they try to look all the more pitiful and beg for attention. It’s the same mentality that prompts a fat chick to whine about her fatness while eating… well, cake and fruit for instance! lol
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:34 pm rating: 0
#114
Canthz_B
UHG2003…It’s all your,/b> fault!! LOL
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:38 pm rating: 0
#115
unholyghost2003
#125, but see #124
It isn’t always ‘I have no self worth I get my sense of my value from you’ Sometimes (as in the case of my Catholic Jew mother and the WickedLady) it is just ‘THIS will work and force them to bend to my mighty will.’
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
#116
WickedLady
Haha, you said it uhg2003.
It is the truth, there’s nothing wrong with my sense of self worth. Except for that one single day every few months, but I guess a lot of people have that.
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:44 pm rating: 0
#117
Canthz_B
My mom is trying to guil m into quitting smoking by saying that she is depending on me to take care of her in hr old age and she cannot trust me to be there if I smoke. I tell her that she’s 73 and I think I can make it!!
With my luck, (and her willfulness) she’ll live to be 120 and I’ll get lung cancer at 90 and she’ll say “See, I told you!”
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:46 pm rating: 0
#118
Mr DeBakey
#1 is hilarious
Its chain-yanking time at Carlina’s
The DeBakeys have been there
Sometimes you just gotta laugh about it
Because if you don’t….
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm rating: 0
#119
your mom
that vacuum cleaner was FUCKING DELICIOUS
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:48 pm rating: 0
#120
Canthz_B
#59 WP, she looks like an ancient Sumarian sculpture! Wassup with those eyes? *shiver*
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#121
mamason
uhg2003: Dealing with Jewish converted to Catholic mother’s guilt is a category that has no equal.
So, how is therapy going? ; )
Nov 14, 2007 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#122
Canthz_B
Feels guilty taking up the time of the therapist! LOL
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:03 pm rating: 0
#123
Canthz_B
Oh…that was in poor taste…my bad.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:04 pm rating: 0
#124
WickedLady
Way to go, CB. Now the therapist has to work double hours.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm rating: 0
#125
unholyghost2003
CB have you been talking to my mother?
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:23 pm rating: 0
#126
Space Monkey
Heh. Man. Sounds like my Mom. She’s the travel agent for guilt trips.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm rating: 0
#127
mamason
Isn’t poor taste a running theme here? I thought it was the point. That’s what makes it funny and keeps us coming back for more. Keep up the good work!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm rating: 0
#128
Wade
#124
Hence the rage, WL. I can hear the tape in mom #2′s head:
“A clean home is a happy home. Why won’t this shag carpet clean up? A clean home is a happy home. Why won’t my child help clean this carpet? A clean home is a hap….”
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm rating: 0
#129
WickedLady
Wade, maybe they need to get a new carpet, then everyone’s happy. Except maybe for dad, who has to pay for it, I know.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:27 pm rating: 0
#130
Canthz_B
UHG2003…Don’t set me up to deliver a “Yo Mama” joke!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:27 pm rating: 0
#131
Canthz_B
Nice Wade! Mom #2 may just have that on a home speaker system running on a continuous loop.
Brainwashing kids is fucking delicious!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:31 pm rating: 0
#132
unholyghost2003
hardly poor taste. I didn’t go into therapy, I went into Theatre.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
#133
Wade
Yeah, wicked. I had an apartment in college with green shag. It had paths worn into it, like the trails animals make in a meadow. First time I tried to vacuum it, it almost overheated the vacuum cleaner, and I found nails in the bag.
I was sooo happy when they replaced it over the break.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:34 pm rating: 0
#134
WickedLady
CB, mom #2 doesn’t have that on a home speaker system. If she does, it doesn’t really work, otherwise she wouldn’t have to leave that note.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:34 pm rating: 0
#135
Canthz_B
SP, if your Mom’s the travel agent, mine is Julie on The Love Boat of Guilt Trips! She has your whole itinerary set up and a guilt scheduled every hour on the hour!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
#136
Wade
but judging from the note, just changing the carpet ain’t gonna make momma happy.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
#137
Canthz_B
Thanks UHG2003…I try to be funny, not mean.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:36 pm rating: 0
#138
Space Monkey
I’m guessing you meant Moi.
That’s her! And you pay out the nose for it. I wonder, do they know each other. I bet they got a network. Some kind of underground ring.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:38 pm rating: 0
#139
WickedLady
Wade, then I guess mommy needs to change her attitude. Or maybe spend more time on brainwashing the kid. She could do that instead of cooking. Problem solved
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:39 pm rating: 0
#140
WickedLady
And by he I mean her.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:40 pm rating: 0
#141
Canthz_B
No Wade…with the most innocent “Who? Me?” look you can imagine…makes you feel guilty for accusing her of trying to make you feel guilty! ROTFL
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:41 pm rating: 0
#142
Space Monkey
My Mom ever so pitifully casts her gaze downward, sniffles once, sucks in her cheeks like a starving Mexican kid in Juarez selling Chiclets on the street and says in a meek voice, <i? “Iss okei”
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:47 pm rating: 0
#143
Space Monkey
You can just hear the italics in her voice.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:49 pm rating: 0
#144
WickedLady
Perhaps mom should have her kids listen to Backmask by Mindless Self Indulgence, in which you hear a voice speaking backwards:
“clean your room
do your homework
don’t stay out too late
eat your vegetables
put away your toys
don’t sit too close to the TV
get dressed for church”
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:52 pm rating: 1
#145
Writer, Rejected
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Why are all your lessons passive aggressive assaults on my tender little soul?
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:01 pm rating: 0
#146
unholyghost2003
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad … I just love you!” “I understand you are a newlywed. You need to spend time with your husband’s family too. It is O.k. you are abandoning me for Christmas.” “No point in decorating, just your father and I for the holidays… Have FUN with your in-laws!”
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:07 pm rating: 0
#147
D
aww… I miss my mom
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:39 pm rating: 0
#148
A.A guy
Uh Uhg2003, How did you…I mean did you have to….you know….glue some back on?
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
#149
A.A guy
D; Me too,she never calls anymore.
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:41 pm rating: 0
#150
mamason
uhg2003: Balls! Balls! He’s asking about yours! lmao
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:51 pm rating: 0
#151
Mitsu
WL : nice one!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:51 pm rating: 1
#152
mamason
A.A. Guy: OMG! I’m still totally PASHY!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:53 pm rating: 0
#153
unholyghost2003
Ah! O.k. … I never had balls. I have boobies. Hence my confusion.
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:55 pm rating: 0
#154
mamason
Oh well, it’s just not funny if your a girl!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:58 pm rating: 0
#155
mamason
I don’t miss my mom. She was just bat shit crazy. Probably still is. I”m (twitch) OK though!
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:00 pm rating: 0
#156
mamason
Mitsu, Hey sweetie pie! Let’s just forgive and forget. I miss you. You don’t have to if it’s too much trouble. Oh, nevermind. ; )
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:04 pm rating: 0
#157
Space Monkey
mamason- LTMSH!- laughed til my sides hurt
kill’em with kindness…
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:06 pm rating: 0
#158
mamason
Oh, how cool! Thanks Space Monkey, whoever you are!
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:25 pm rating: 0
#159
mamason
I do, I do, I do want a pee yellow face! ;-D
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:27 pm rating: 0
#160
mamason
Phooey!
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:28 pm rating: 0
#161
Canthz_B
WickedLady…you have a wry wit.
I’m sure your friends love it.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:29 pm rating: 0
#162
mamason
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:31 pm rating: 0
#163
mamason
I’m a dork!
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:31 pm rating: 0
#164
Canthz_B
mamason…I do that sometimes really late at night / early in the morning (my time) too! LOL
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:34 pm rating: 0
#165
WickedLady
Haha, thank you, CB. Yes, they do love it. Almost more than they love me, I’m afraid.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:35 pm rating: 1
#166
Space Monkey
If you mouse over the faces it tells you the combo to make the different faces. I learned that in a vision last night.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:36 pm rating: 0
#167
Space Monkey
It’s a capital “P”, mama.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:37 pm rating: 0
#168
Canthz_B
I am neither friend nor foe, so save it when you feel the desire to direct it at me. I do not appreciate it.
Thanks
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:38 pm rating: 0
#169
mamason
SM: Thanks for the clue. I’m not stupid, however I am ignorant about … well… some stuff.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:44 pm rating: 0
#170
mamason
…Like how to make pee yellow smiley faces.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
#171
Space Monkey
If 207 was directed at me: 205 & 206 were meant for mamason, FTR.
If 207 wasnt meant for me: then carry on.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:47 pm rating: 0
#172
Space Monkey
Although , mamason, if you drink plenty of water, your pee shouldn’t be that yellow. Not that mine is or anything, just sayin’.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:51 pm rating: 0
#173
Team Cassandra
Hey C_B #4….(I’m just getting a chance, now, to read through all the posts).
I’ll have you know that this note is, most definitely, from Mom with a spine…A bendy spine, ready for any situation (including one with a passive-aggressive teenager).
If you think, for one moment, that Carlina was going to be able to continue to avoid having dinner with her mom after that note you have another think coming, young man.
We are not men. You cannot see us coming, but when we’ve hit – you know it.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
#174
WickedLady
CB, I didn’t mean to offend you. You see, that’s the problem with my wry wit: hardly anyone understands it. When I say fool, I mean it in a joking kind of way, not at all offending. It’s kind of the way we talk to each other here in the Netherlands. It didn’t really occur to me you might take it the wrong way. Sorry.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:57 pm rating: 1
#175
Canthz_B
It’s okay WL, as I have said before…we tend to forget that we are sometimes miles and cultures away.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:01 pm rating: 0
#176
Space Monkey
That’s a question, Private.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:02 pm rating: 0
#177
mamason
Vertical hyphen thingy? Do whaaat? What’s it next to? Are you talking about … well, shoot. I have know idea.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:03 pm rating: 0
#178
WickedLady
I’ll keep it in mind, but if I happen to say something like that again, just remember I don’t mean anything by it.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:05 pm rating: 1
#179
Space Monkey
LTMSH- Laughing (quietly in my office) Til My Sides Hurt- mamason. You crack me up.
uhg2003- bingo.
I’m also trying to start a new internet acronym thingy. Tell your freinds. Wady thinks he can take all the glory? Hrmph.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:12 pm rating: 0
#180
Canthz_B
#227 TC, That may be…but in my experience (4 adult children) telling works better than asking with adolescents.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:12 pm rating: 0
#181
Space Monkey
So does Wade, he thinks he can take all the glory, too. And also tell your friends as well as your freinds and any other frends, also, too.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:14 pm rating: 0
#182
Canthz_B
I like “LTMSH” SM…I shall share it with friends.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:15 pm rating: 0
#183
mamason
SM: I will help spread your new acronym thingy. (That sounds a little dirty)
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:17 pm rating: 0
#184
Team Cassandra
That’s cuz you’re a boy. And prolly also cuz you’re you. If you started acting all coy, your kids would think you’d gone soft in the head. I can be forceful but some things make me whiny, which doesn’t work at all. I was never like that before but I’ve found that motherhood has given me a knack for quiet guilt-tripping. Even I’m amazed at my potency!
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:18 pm rating: 0
#185
Space Monkey
I thought of Laughing Til I Turned Red, but, uh, I dont turn red. And if I do you cant tell. Plus, I wanted a universal acronym to unite all races, ethnicities, and cultures. Something everyone could use. And I’d like to thank all the little people that worked so hard to help get thsi off the ground.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:20 pm rating: 0
#186
Canthz_B
When they reach the rebellious age range of early/mid teens…guilt fails.
That strong basis of respect must be instilled before then. Otherwise your words fall on deaf ears.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:22 pm rating: 0
#187
mamason
In my house my children refer to me as “She who must be obeyed”!
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:23 pm rating: 0
#188
Space Monkey
mamason- L (quietly in my office)TMSH! No, no. that was a ROTFLOLTMSH. My keyboard is smoking.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:25 pm rating: 0
#189
Team Cassandra
Well, mamason – I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.
It’s on the darkside where the delinquents are etching poopie messages on the table while the Heisa Monster sleeps.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:25 pm rating: 0
#190
mamason
SM: “And I’d like to thank all the little people that worked so hard to help get thsi off the ground.”
Haven’t “they” installed your preview button?
LTMSH
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:26 pm rating: 0
#191
KarenLW
For # 239 an others….I recall we learned the other day that it’s called a “pipe”. My short-term memory loss is coming back.
btw, not lurking…have actually been working all day….grrrrrr.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:26 pm rating: 0
#192
Space Monkey
Shut up. (crossing arms childishly and looking away) Mine’s broken. Nyah.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:27 pm rating: 0
#193
Space Monkey
Google ad: are you the world’s best mom.
I wonder if they’ll put one for travel agents.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:40 pm rating: 0
#194
WanderingPenguin
Thanks, though, for the concern. As far as I can tell “it’s” working for me.
Nov 14, 2007 at 5:56 pm rating: 0
#195
A.A guy
Uhg2003 ;Honestly, I could have SWORN everyone on this site was a guy from Toronto(except CB,whose wrath could only be that of a woman scorned).From now on I will attempt to keep my comments genitalicly correct.
Hey look,a preview button!
Nov 14, 2007 at 6:24 pm rating: 0
#196
Zsa
gneitalicly correct – HA! love it.
Love, ~not a guy from Toronto~
Nov 14, 2007 at 6:32 pm rating: 0
#197
Mishee
ACRONYM!
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:20 pm rating: 0
#198
Misplaced
So the kid is lazy and has a shit attitude. And the best part is that she send passiveaggressive the notes her mom left for her(which is passive aggressive in itself)-wow she must be a treat.
I’d vote her “most likely to give birth in the toilet during prom”.
Nov 15, 2007 at 2:52 am rating: 1
#199
Carlina
Thanks for posting my note, you guys! What they include was when I said that my parents and I are very close. I also have a very nice outlook on life and am doing just fine now.
Misplaced: YOU FAIL.
Nov 15, 2007 at 3:51 am rating: 0
#200
Carlina
Wait, I completely botched my previous comment. Nevermind. This only hurts my chance at proving to you that I’m not on drugs, doesn’t it? Oh well.
Long live passiveagressivenotes.com!
Nov 15, 2007 at 3:58 am rating: 0
#201
Andy
Carlina, thanks for responding. Even botched, that note was pretty coherent, so… if you’re doing drugs, you must be at the right balance.
Glad you’re doing well now.
Nov 15, 2007 at 7:50 am rating: 0
#202
A.A guy
Carlina; How was dinner last night?
Nov 15, 2007 at 8:54 am rating: 0
#203
Lurker
Team Let the Kids Wallow in Their Own Filth!
Nov 15, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: 0
#204
anglophile
Sorry to blow your mind, Mishee. As the third girl in the family, I am afraid I also disappointed my father in my gender. He took it a lot worse than you did.
Nov 15, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#205
Carlina
Thanks Andy.
A.A: Dinner was “fucking delicious”, heh. Seriously though, my parents and I are going out to dinner every Friday from now on. I had forgotten how fun that is!
Nov 15, 2007 at 8:06 pm rating: 0
#206
GVI
Team Passive Aggressive Notes That Lead To Family Dinners And Hugs!!
Nov 15, 2007 at 8:51 pm rating: 0
#207
mishi monkey
That was so my sister… me, I was the good daughter!
Nov 17, 2007 at 12:06 pm rating: 0
#208
Mishee
Carlina – yes you will find as you get older that going out to dinner with the ‘rents is great – especially because they usually pay! That’s when I order another drink!!
Nov 17, 2007 at 2:42 pm rating: 0
#209
Kirsty
Firstly, if this woman is taking A class, then she really shouldn’t be pointing fingers at her kids about cleaning up the house.
Likely as not, in her drug-induced haze, she is the one who made all the mess in the first place – dropping crisps on the floor as she swings about the lounge room dancing to barry manilow and knocking glasses of cask wine everywhere.
Secondly – if she’s on A class, things like working, cleaning, doing laundry and cooking dinner must pass as if it were a pleasant dream, with monkeys and fairies pitching in to help get the job done.
One can only hope she remembers to turn the oven off, unlike the silly boy in that other PA note.
Dec 4, 2007 at 5:03 am rating: 2
#210
Sundaeg1rl
Hahaha, good old emotional blackmail, my mum’s the same. I hope to have honed the craft by the time my daughter’s old enough to (not) give a shit.
Dec 4, 2007 at 5:10 am rating: 0
#211 i can has guilt trip?
[...] it home for easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat [...]
Apr 2, 2008 at 3:42 pm rating: 0
#212
bobby
Team respect your momma.
Jul 18, 2008 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
#213
fuhuck
Fuck Carlina. Momma oughta sell her to some Thai pimps. Take the proceeds and get snipped. Sucking up to a babybitch–great idea, mom.
Here’s my try:
“Hey, Carlina. Your attitude is immature and ridiculous. You have two choices: join the family and act like a human being, or we’re fucking sending you to the most repressive Catholic military school on the planet. The one with the ass-raping nuns. Your choice. We’re sick of fucking pandering to your adolescent whims. PS, you’ll eat when you get a job and pay your way.”
Probably easier to dope her up and put her on a Greyhound bus to Tijuana. Fuck you, Carlina.
Sep 3, 2008 at 6:22 pm rating: 1
#214 Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right...but that doesn't mean you should be Facebook friends with her. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: living with an adolescent, abridged [...]
May 13, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 0
Comments are Closed