carlina in texas is close with her parents, but she’s been having a bit of a rough time lately. apparently carlina’s mother has grown tired of her daughter’s apathy/hostility/general malaise, and slipped this classic mom note under her door.
if that note didn’t remind you of your own mom, perhaps you can relate to this one from alexandra (or rather, her friend) which displays a more familiar variety of maternal guilt trip. it’s like your teenage years condensed into note form!
p.s. carlina says she definitely plans to take her mom up on the dinner. just be on the alert for anything that sounds like, “enjoy, but don’t eat too many!!”
related: cleaning party!
reddit!
stumble it!
213 responses so far ↓
#1 kureshii
First!!!
Better than teen angst: parental angst =)
No, I don’t find mums or teenage daughters or family dinners particularly delicious…
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:31 am rating: 0
#2 Mishee
These reek of my mother, circa 1995. I wonder if I could dig up one of her old notes.
And on the second note, how can this kid PAY her way out, unless mom provides money? I mean, if she doesn’t know responsibility, then she probably doesn’t have a job..
GET A JOB!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:46 am rating: 0
#3 Mishee
And that food that nobody eats anyways was fucking delicious
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:46 am rating: 0
#4 Canthz_B
Yeah, I always beg my kid to spent time with me at his convenience…NOT!!!
Grow spine Mom!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:48 am rating: 0
#5 Canthz_B
Putting the note on the vacuum cleaner won’t work, Anthony goes nowhere near it…but it’s fuckinkgdelicious nevertheless!
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:51 am rating: 0
#6 Canthz_B
That underlined “NO” in note two indicates that Mom has previously taken cash for domestic services…sick family.
“Mom, Dude, he’s six bucks. Clean my room and have dinner ready a six…I might be home or out with Carlina”.
Nov 14, 2007 at 2:58 am rating: 0
#7 Canthz_B
NO DAMN IT! *”HERE’RE SIX BUCKS”!!!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:00 am rating: 0
#8 Canthz_B
OK, it’s too late…
“Mom, Dude, here’s six bucks. Clean my room and have dinner ready at six. I may be home or out with Carlina”
With that I’m off to bed!
Nov 14, 2007 at 3:05 am rating: 0
#9 WickedLady
My mom would never leave me notes like that. In fact, she never leaves any notes, I never know where to find her when she’s not at home.
That first note has some fucking delicious psychology behind it. I use that on my best friend when he’s being a pain in the ass.
Nov 14, 2007 at 4:36 am rating: 0
#10 K'sMom
I write notes like this in lipstick on my daughter’s bathroom mirror.
Nov 14, 2007 at 6:12 am rating: 0
#11 Paul
How awesome would it have been if Mom #2 had started off with “Your Mother doesn’t work here!” ?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:00 am rating: 0
#12 WickedLady
Paul, if that daughter can buy her way out of doing chores, I think her mother does work there.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:09 am rating: 0
#13 allister
Umm, thats a nice lookin vacuum cleaner.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:27 am rating: 0
#14 Wade
Nevermind?
Maybe her mom was tired of smelling her teen spirit.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:34 am rating: 0
#15 Wade
Carlina might have accepted the invitation if her mom had said “Come as you are.”
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:36 am rating: 0
#16 MJaz
Note number two looks like it’s from a future serial-killer’s mom
I wonder what came after the comma?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:39 am rating: 0
#17 Reality
That first note made me want to throw up a little, I think the parents should never resort to the “anything you want Honey, we wouldn’t want to get in your way. Crap!” It should be all in one big swoop no note more like “WE are going to have Dinner at six so get to the vacumming before we go!”
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:40 am rating: 0
#18 Ozymandias
Or, Wade, re #16, 17, if she’d slipped it in a heart shaped box, but then it wouldn’t have fit under the door. And it wouldn’t have been from the relevant album, but, oh… nevermind
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:43 am rating: 0
#19 Troy McClure
Unless, like A.A. guy, you’re sufficiently without responsibility to thumbtack your condoms to the wall before use. Then life probably does come.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:47 am rating: 0
#20 Wade
If no one will eat the food, is it really fixed?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:49 am rating: 0
#21 Wade
Both notes look like a case of “Territorial Pissing”.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:51 am rating: 0
#22 Wade
Ha, OZ!
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 0
#23 Andy
The first one was taken straight out of the official Mom Playbook. See, you could take the “No, nevermind…” in two ways: The logical way is to think she’s saying “nevermind” in a whole martyr-ish way — as in “I’m so sorry to burden you with my issues”.
However, the way I am taking it, and this is from the Advanced Mom Playbook, is that that “nevermind” was reneging on the statement “We don’t have to… if it’s too much trouble.”
My Mom would never had left me the note, she would just provide the same things via sound bites.
As for the second note, I love the rambling nature of it, it’s quintessential Mom. However, yet again, I’m missing the other page of a note! I need closure.
Unless, the Mom just trailed off at that point. If that’s the case, bravo!
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:53 am rating: 0
#24 Wade
Is there any psychological significance to using a food-related term of endearment in addressing your daughter, then inviting her to dinner?
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:55 am rating: 0
#25 Andy
Wade, I’m not touching that one. Nuh-uh.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:56 am rating: 0
#26 Andy
Mornin’, WL. I’m just getting my dose of P/A goodness before I have to get my daughter to work, go to work, clean the house (that people will eventually mess up again), cook food that people won’t eat,
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:58 am rating: 0
#27 Wade
I might call shenanigans on the second note. The ragged edge of the paper looks suspiciously like pixelation, like when you rotate an image to diagonal.
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:59 am rating: 0
#28 Wade
ROFL, Andy.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:00 am rating: 0
#29 Reality
Anyone notice that vacuum handle kinda looks like a rifle ?
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:02 am rating: 0
#30 Andy
Wade: It has been rotated. Did you click on the picture to see the original? It’s rotated like 170 degrees. To make it legible, I’m assuming it was rotated to bring here.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:04 am rating: 0
#31 Wade
I went to the original picture and it looks ok there. the image we have was rotated so we can read it better. shenanigans averted.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:04 am rating: 0
#32 Wade
great minds, Andy, great minds
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:05 am rating: 0
#33 Andy
Whew. *moves shenanigans color down to green*
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:05 am rating: 0
#34 Andy
The thing is, I had to eyeball the placement of all the items before and after rotation to convince myself, though. It took only a second, but still. I’m such a dork sometimes.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:14 am rating: 0
#35 Reality
What is this? YOUR MOM ON DRUGS!
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:17 am rating: 0
#36 Reality
Or maybe Mom is split personality.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:20 am rating: 0
#37 Ozymandias
Wade, cheers for the ‘HA!’
#26, In reference to calling someone food and then inviting them out to dinner – I’m sure there’s a precedent – Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Bread Crumbs, Poisoned Apples, I’m thinking along those lines, but I’m not quite there yet. Little Red Riding Hood, maybe. ‘Grandma, what big teeth you have’ – ‘All the better to eat you with, my dear’.
The fixed dinner image, #22, now has taxidermist images in my head, or rather the result of his or her handiwork. Or, another tangent, those plastic replicas of food you get outside of restaurants (in Japan, anyway).
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:22 am rating: 0
#38 Ozymandias
Who’s on drugs, Reality?: “Anyone notice that vacuum handle kinda looks like a rifle ?”
Ah, that’s right, it’s probably me…:-)
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:24 am rating: 0
#39 WickedLady
Judging by the floor in photo #2, the room is pretty clean and if taking responsibility means doing the laundry and spend energy on fixing food that no one will eat, I’ll pass.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#40 Ozymandias
“Maternal cannibalism” is a term in relation to fairytales. It’s where that wicked Google lead me while I was following those breadcrumbs. Time to get outta here.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: 0
#41 WickedLady
cannibalism is actually quite healthy. Err, or so I heard…
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:35 am rating: 0
#42 southern girl
I love that Mom is pissed off in note #2, but she wrote the “pissed off” note on pretty paper that has an outdoorsy-type scenery on it.
Totally lost credibility there Mom.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:40 am rating: 0
#43 Reality
Yes, It looks to me that daughter is definately being held for ransom otherwise Mom would not have mentioned money. Also Big guilt trip. This time she just wants more than money! Mom definately wants daughter to feel guilty more than she wants money, Now that mom is making her own money at new job! It may be hard for you to see it that way #41 But I Do!!! So it probably is just you…..
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:49 am rating: 0
#44 Team Cassandra
You know what they say #38…
Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs.
I like the first note. I can picture myself writing something like that in the not-so-distant future.
The second note is something I’d more likely find myself screaming at the top of my lungs (sound dulled by the roar of the vaccuum, of course) if some unfortunate not-so-youngin’ should happen to say the wrong thing at the wrong time…I can easily picture my daughter triggering a psychotic break like that.
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:51 am rating: 0
#45 Team Cassandra
PS…I like the comma at the end of the second note…it gives the impression of Mom walking away down the hall, all the while continuing her litany of complaints…
Nov 14, 2007 at 8:55 am rating: 0
#46 WanderingPenguin
I think the comma at the end of the second note is supposed to trigger an uncontrollable desire in the offspring to clean up the entire room so he/she/they can find the next note in the series. It’s kind of like an Easter-egg hunt only with none of the chocolaty goodness!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:11 am rating: 0
#47 m
if she’s really that close with her parents, why can’t she tell her parents (at least her mom) why she’s going through a rough patch and maybe have her mom understand that it’s not just apathy and laziness?
the second note was a little weird and misplaced
(if i was a kid that didn’t clean a lot, i wouldn’t be finding a note left on a vacuum), the first note obviously struck a chord, or else she wouldn’t be taking her mom up on the offer. so besides letter 2, points to mom.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#48 GhostWriter
It obviously wasn’t Mom who wrote that first note. The handwriting is too premeditated, yet jittery with emotion for her. It’s a textbook case of a creepy stalker disguising himself as “Mom”.
The last line would have read, “…we’ll just eat in.” but he was interrupted by the pet dog (who was silenced with a pitchfork).
After-dinner gift? Fluffy’s head in a box (heart-shaped, of course!)
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:13 am rating: 0
#49 ShagnBag
Dear Mom,
Sure I’d love to go out to dinner with you! I love you very much and miss you also! Oh, wait, it’s too much trouble you say? Well, OK I guess… nevermind you either, guess I’ll go hit the streets and score some drugs.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:14 am rating: 0
#50 WanderingPenguin
And it really takes a bit of a sociopath to write that first note in stream-of-consciousness form and leave everything on paper at the end. Most normal people, instead of writing that they are having second thoughts, would actually have the second thought and either cross out the previous sentence or scrap the note and start over. This mom just oozes Stepford from every pore. Self-medicate much?
Team Knock on the Damn Door Already!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:15 am rating: 0
#51 WanderingPenguin
m, what about the first note or its backstory suggested to you that carlina took her up on her “offer”? I didn’t get that idea….
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:17 am rating: 0
#52 Mitsu
Sweet! the second note looks like it was written by a crazy cat lady…Carlina, is your mom the crazy cat lady?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:17 am rating: 0
#53 GhostWriter
I know where the mysterious 2nd page of the note went. It was sucked up by the sweeper, which, as labeled, provides “True High-Energy, Passive/Aggressive (HEPA) Filtration“
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:18 am rating: 0
#54 Mitsu
lol, I wish my mom would have written notes… Instead, she just used to complain out loud to us. She’s more direct than p/a.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:20 am rating: 0
#55 Mitsu
LOL! GW, so that’s what HEPA stands for! I learn something new every day!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:21 am rating: 0
#56 WanderingPenguin
Holy crap. If you actually do want some backstory to the first note, check out the “carlina” hot link. Some interesting photos to be sure… but read the captions on them. Anyone for American Beauty?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:22 am rating: 0
#57 FickleGal
The first mom note looks like my handwriting in 6th grade. I’m just sayin…
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:23 am rating: 0
#58 T-Bone
Experiences around the T-Bone house growing up:
Dad: “Wash the goddamn dishes.”
T-Bone: “But I’m–”
Dad: *commence laserbeam stare* “WASH THE FUCKING DISHES.”
Another conversation:
T-Bone: “Mom, can I–”
Mom: “Did you vacuum the stairs like I asked?”
T-Bone: “Well, I–”
Mom: “No.”
Notes weren’t big in my house.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#59 Ozymandias
Hey, GW, re #51, a PASH moment! Wouldn’t it have been great if you had clocked #52 (5 +2 =?).
Reality, #46, and #32, I actually agree with you. I just couldn’t resist the comment!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:25 am rating: 0
#60 Ozymandias
WP, re: #54, the story under the second note says “p.s. carlina says she definitely plans to take her mom up on the dinner”, but you’ve probably got to that by now, anyway. Unless it’s irony at play?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:31 am rating: 0
#61 Mishee
Maybe note #2 referencing paying out is not the child paying the mom, but actually a sibling (my brother used to offer me a few roaches to do his dishes… can you guess if I did them or not?)… I still see that mom is unappreciated… what’s new?
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:42 am rating: 0
#62 Ariadne
I want to know what’s crossed out in the top left hand corner of the bottom note - “mom” certainly didn’t hold back in the rest of the note, so what was so bad that she scribbled it out??
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:43 am rating: 0
#63 Mishee
It actually looks like note #2 was not done… I don’t know about you but I don’t end a sentence with a comma. Plus it just seems like she didn’t finish the line of thinking she was on….
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:44 am rating: 0
#64 WanderingPenguin
Thanks, Oz. My page didn’t load properly the first time or something because I swear that wasn’t there.
…yeeeeeaaaahhhh. That’s the ticket.
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:47 am rating: 0
#65 WanderingPenguin
I’ve finally gotten around to actually clicking on the second picture…and it seems pretty obvious to me now with the clearer photo in front of me that there are two pages to that second note. So now we beg the contributor - please send in that second page!
Nov 14, 2007 at 9:49 am rating: 0
#66 GhostWriter
Dear PANGods,
As much as I enjoy this site, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of yours; to include more than one note per posting. This is confusing and overbearing for us readers, and I am sure you do not wish to be seen as confusing or overbearing. It also leads to comment sections that run into the 100’s of notes, which I’m sure is more difficult for you to manage. If you want to improve your site, may I suggest that you please limit your postings to a single note at a time?