reading in the bathroom is one thing…but kicking back with a purloined snapple? that’s one step too far for this food service establishment, as spotted by jenny in washington, d.c.
you gotta love that passive voice! any kindly guesses re: the crossed-out word?
reddit!
stumble it!
108 responses so far ↓
#1 WanderingPenguin
If they don’t like the Steelers there, they must be Cowboys fans or something.
What’s that? Oh. Never mind.
Nov 21, 2007 at 7:49 pm rating: +2
#2 lola
As opposed to the many businesses that love stealers?
Nov 21, 2007 at 7:52 pm rating: 0
#3 WanderingPenguin
I think that
wordmight be “staff”. Then they realized that they would be encouraging people to take their drinks to the public bathroom instead. And everyone knows the public bathroom in any food service establishment is for sex.Nov 21, 2007 at 7:52 pm rating: +4
#4 lola
Can’t help but point out the “continues to proceed” portion of this gem… seems a little redundant and possibly repetitive
Nov 21, 2007 at 7:54 pm rating: +8
#5 anglophile
Wow. I think this is possibly the most futile P/A note ever.
I am sure Little Miss Doesn’t Know The Word Thief imagines she is calling out the “stealers”, and that they will read the note and be overcome with remorse and never steal again, perhaps even anonymously leaving the money in the tip jar. In reality, she is alienating her honest customers and giving the not-so-ethical the tipoff that they haven’t done anything to actually prevent the theft. It’s a thing of beauty.
Nov 21, 2007 at 7:59 pm rating: +5
#6 Troy McClure
Your actions are somewhat suspicious,
Criminal and injudicious.
The drink that you took
Has made you a crook,
I hope it was fucking delicious.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:04 pm rating: +12
#7 "Detective" Julie
I believe it said “store”, then they decided to get more . . . specific.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:05 pm rating: +3
#8 anglophile
This really meshes well with Erica C’s comment on the previous thread. They can’t be bothered to run their own loss protection, so they’re foisting it off on the customers themselves. Be sure to jiggle the handle after you use the bathroom to drink your stolen beverage!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:05 pm rating: +2
#9 Troy McClure
Lola, you beat me to it. It’s so misguidedly verbose, but that phrase is the rotten core of it.
And what was I thinking; now I have to wear my own damned unitard!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:06 pm rating: +2
#10 WanderingPenguin
Well, if they call a thief a “stealer” I guess it only makes sense that they call a food service establishment a “store”. Good call, Julie.
Not changing my opinion of public bathrooms, though.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:08 pm rating: +2
#11 WanderingPenguin
Well, of course the experienced customers were the ones stealing drinks in the bathroom. The rookie customers probably were suckered into paying for their refreshments. They’ll learn.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:10 pm rating: +3
#12 Canthz_B
Was that almost “Shit room”?
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:10 pm rating: 0
#13 GVI
How hard was the note writer pressing on that damn marker, the thing seems to be squished into a big black smudge by the end.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:10 pm rating: +3
#14 BoggyWoggy
I think it wasn’t “staff” bathroom, Wandering Penguin…I think the gal was going to write “store” room.
NOBODY GOES INTO THE BATHROOM TO “DRINK” SODAS! THEY USE THEM TO MAKE THE TOILET FLUSH!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:11 pm rating: +2
#15 morpho aurora
that just made my head hurt (or maybe it’s the booze)
the pink hi-lighter is a nice touch
#3 - WP eww you are a deviant bird!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:11 pm rating: +1
#16 Wade
As an experienced customer in DC, this is one of the reasons I love this city.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:13 pm rating: 0
#17 Canthz_B
Mr. Bush says, “Stealers are evill doers, if this continues to proceed I will continue to be redundant”
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:13 pm rating: +2
#18 mamason
Troy- that limerick was fucking delicious!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:15 pm rating: 0
#19 Mishee
If I saw this in a store, I would draw penises all over it with pink pen.
But that’s just me…
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:15 pm rating: 0
#20 Wade
btw - the phrasing in the last sentence tells you immediately that the “eating establishment” is in DC.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:16 pm rating: +1
#21 Olrun
Put a ban on all drinks and install cameras in the bathrooms, there ya’ go. (It’s a solution)
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:17 pm rating: 0
#22 anglophile
If it continues to proceed, they’re going to take right action. You know, immediately. Or something.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:18 pm rating: +3
#23 mamason
This message has been brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:25 pm rating: 0
#24 Wade
I agree with detective julie
definitely store
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:26 pm rating: +1
#25 Troy McClure
Mamason, did they also audit the American Dodgeball Association of America?
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:27 pm rating: 0
#26 mamason
“The right course of action”, as opposed to the wrong course of action, because that would be stupid?
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:27 pm rating: 0
#27 dee
EAT, DRINK ,STEAL ,BE HAPPY!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:29 pm rating: 0
#28 mamason
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:30 pm rating: --1
#29 mamason
who would consume any food or drink in a public restroom anyway? ewwww!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:33 pm rating: --1
#30 Olrun
Further more who calls a thief ( “stealers” ) a customer in the first place? And how is it they know that the person stealing the drink is the same person who is consuming them in the bathroom ? Maybe there are two seperate offenders here (if haveing a drink in the bathroom is an offence) And if not, if they know that the person stealing the drink is the same person consuming it in the bathroom, how is it that they don’t know who the person is than ?
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:34 pm rating: +1
#31 mamason
Maybe it was Sen. Craig… hmmm
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:35 pm rating: +1
#32 Zsa
Wade #20- the phrasing of “Thank you” identified this as a DC “eating establishment”? You are good!!
Nov 21, 2007 at 8:56 pm rating: 0
#33 Troy McClure
I agree Zsa. Maybe if Wade ever decides he really does need a pseudonym, he should call himself Henry Higgins.
Nov 21, 2007 at 9:01 pm rating: 0
#34 Wade
Ha!
OK, OK. Penultimate sentence!
Nov 21, 2007 at 9:13 pm rating: +1
#35 GVI
What’s that after Stealing Drinks, is that an ”I” or the ”&” sign?
Nov 21, 2007 at 9:29 pm rating: 0
#36 Andy
I think it’s an attempt at an ampersand.
I love that this is so passive — never mind that stealing drinks is petty theft, but it’s just not good manners.
I’m sorry, but that’s just gross. If this is a fast-food establishment, sometimes they’re so nasty that taking a shit actually brightens the place up! That’s exactly the place I’d like to enjoy my pilfered pop.
Then again, stolen sweets are sweeter. Whatever.
Nov 21, 2007 at 9:43 pm rating: +1
#37 Wade
Um, what store in DC sells drinks and has a public restroom?
That would be a handy piece of information.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:00 pm rating: +2
#38 Olrun
Maybe a grocery store does.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:19 pm rating: 0
#39 Olrun
Or a Minni Mart store.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:20 pm rating: 0
#40 Canthz_B
Must be one messy restaurant that they require a bathroom. Wouldn’t a lavatory normally meet the need?
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:28 pm rating: 0
#41 Wade
more likely door number 2, Olrun.
and anyone that could drink a soda in a minimart restroom deserves a medal.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:29 pm rating: +1
#42 cre8tivewmn
The word is store, I think, but the last letter looks like an r or unfinished e. Maybe they were going to say storeroom but were corrected? The mark is a lazy ampersand, the one that looks like a backwards 3 with a line through it. It doesn’t appear on a typewriter though.
Another odd thing: restaurants and stores usually refer to it as a restroom.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: +1
#43 Canthz_B
Who showed up to shop for “Attention”?
Are those the ones who are the primary stealers of drinks?
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:33 pm rating: 0
#44 cre8tivewmn
Minimart makes lots of sense. You can pick up drinks and go into the restroom without being noticed.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:36 pm rating: 0
#45 anglophile
As evidenced by the flowery door-slamming note of a few days ago, that damn ampersand is really hard to draw!
CB, if they sold attention in stores, the drug companies would go broke from the tanking sales of Ritalin and such.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:39 pm rating: +3
#46 Wade
If I were the day manager, I would check on the night staff (cook?) before accusing customers.
Nov 21, 2007 at 10:53 pm rating: +2
#47 unholyghost2003
Wade, it is the cook, he is also smoking in there.
CB my first thought is that they started to write “shitter” but then stoped, since this is a polite place of buisness.
Nov 21, 2007 at 11:05 pm rating: 0
#48 Olrun
I guess I could have typed AM/PM to avoid spelling errors but minimart is good enough, thanks. I really wasn’t sure how that was spelled seeing as most minimarts around aren’t titled ‘minimart’.
Sure enough I do agree that if one is willing to go to the bathroom in a minimart store they do deserve a medal, even the stolen drink if I may say so.
Nov 21, 2007 at 11:23 pm rating: +3
#49 goose
Clearly the crossed-out word was ’shitter’.
Consume not, our unpaid-for beverages, in the shitter!
Nov 21, 2007 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
#50 GVI
Do they have showers in there and stuff, I wonder why they call it a Bathroom and not a Restroom?
Is that an American thing?
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:04 am rating: 0
#51 unholyghost2003
G very American .. do you understand the humiliation when you ask for a Salle d’Bane vs LeToilet? the laughing is much.
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:24 am rating: +3
#52 Writer, Rejected
Mamason: Sen. Craig would be a stealer, but of the toe-tapping-hypocrite-gay-hating-bathroom-handjob-seeking-lying about it variety. That would be a whole separate note, right?
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:27 am rating: +2
#53 GVI
Maybe they got thirsty after their showers.
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:39 am rating: +2
#54 SHARKFAN
What exactly is the right course of action? I think I want to steal a drink and consume it in their bathroom, just so I can find out.
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:45 am rating: +3
#55 GVI
The right course of action will be to make you pay the $1.50 and then call security to escort you off the premises.
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:54 am rating: 0
#56 goose
Why call security? Don’t all American
shittersbathrooms have an ‘attendant’? He can see them to the door!Nov 22, 2007 at 1:01 am rating: 0
#57 SHARKFAN
Maybe the attendant is the drink stealer.
Nov 22, 2007 at 1:03 am rating: 0
#58 Robin Claire
HAHAHA.
how classy!
I don’t think I would want a free drink if I had to consume it in a gross bathroom…
Nov 22, 2007 at 1:15 am rating: 0
#59 Juliet
I don’t know what is up with this rating system… however I still have to say that Troy’s #6 comment was PASHY! Now that was a fucking delicious comment!
Nov 22, 2007 at 1:27 am rating: +2
#60 GezD
I don’t understand. How are the thiefers thiefing the drinks? How do that get them to the toilet without staff seeing?
Nov 22, 2007 at 2:10 am rating: 0
#61 S.S.
Are people really that poor that they would rather down a drink in a public bathroom than pay $1-2 dollars for it?
Sheesh, people.
Nov 22, 2007 at 2:54 am rating: 0
#62 LJ
HAHAHA @ ’stealers’
She tried to sound all professional but the word ‘theives’ never came to mind eh?
Nov 22, 2007 at 4:57 am rating: +1
#63 Ozymandias
#13, GVI, the note is smudgy due to the fact that the notewriter, whilst drinking contraband with an experienced customer in the bathroom, penned this tautological gem in the hope of implicating others.
The basin she was using as a substitute desk was wet and, as such, blurred the final words she had on the subject. As for the blurring of meaning. . .she alone is responsible.
Nov 22, 2007 at 7:21 am rating: +1
#64 WanderingPenguin
Nor did the word “thieves”.
Nov 22, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: --1
#65 lola
With further review, I believe this woman is training to be a lawyer.
All of that “right course of action” talk could’ve been summed up in “Quit stealing our drinks or I’ll sick my Heisa monster on you.”
Nov 22, 2007 at 10:51 am rating: +1
#66 Huh?
Wow, post # 6:
Wow!! That haiku-ish/sorta-sonnet/ poetic wordthingie was awesome. The best work he/she/they have posted so far.
Nov 22, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: 0
#67 Wade
If it is a minimart, be glad it was a stolen drink they took into the bathroom, instead of something, er, “random”.
Nov 22, 2007 at 12:54 pm rating: +1
#68 A.A guy
Why steal a drink to bring to the washroom? Toilet
water is both thirst quenching ,and on occasion, a rich source of protein.
Nov 22, 2007 at 1:24 pm rating: +4
#69 Zsa
BLECH~ line—- crossed— NASTY
but very entertaining
Now go eat some real protein
Nov 22, 2007 at 1:33 pm