our anonymous submitter in california was having some issues with her roommates not washing their dishes. “it got so bad that i picked up what i thought was a black bowl only to find it was white and covered in ants,” she says. when asked to clean up after themselves, the roommates responded with a note calling her a bitch. then came this one — accompanied by someone peeing in her shampoo.
adds our submitter: “i moved out not too long after that.”
related: this makes me want to scream
reddit!
stumble it!
106 responses so far ↓
#1 kureshii
First!
That shampoo pee… umm, I mean that black/white bowl of red ants… umm I mean… aww forget it.
Whew, I’m thankful that all my roommates so far are people who clean up after themselves, except on occasion when I clean up after them before they can get to it.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#2 Helen Lovejoy
I love that they’re absolutely holding her cup hostage.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:31 am rating: +1
#3 WanderingPenguin
But…but…how is she going to be able to play hockey without her cup?
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:35 am rating: +2
#4 bigfun12
Those ants were fucking delicious!
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:41 am rating: --6
#5 Mishee
Wow… no apology, no cup, and a squiggly line under “Stop Whining”??
These girls mean business! We better back off now!
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:44 am rating: +1
#6 WanderingPenguin
I’ve decided to rank any unoriginal use of the “FD” phrase with a negative just as a matter of course. Oh, and anyone who announces that they are “first”, too. It’s just so done to death.
I fully expect this post to be about -10 by this afternoon.
But first I have to ask: how and, more importantly, when did she discover that someone had peed in her shampoo?
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: +2
#7 kureshii
By smell, I’d imagine…?
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: +2
#8 WanderingPenguin
I think the fact that the line is jagged and not, say, a double straight underline just screams psychosis.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:46 am rating: +1
#9 Masha G.
I like that yellow sticker. I “didn’t know [they] could do that” either.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:47 am rating: +1
#10 WanderingPenguin
Well, that’s the how, but the when…? Or maybe we don’t want to know?
BTW, kureshii, I didn’t rank your first note at all. I figured I would post a warning first.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:48 am rating: +1
#11 Mishee
Maybe the cup reference was actually a reference to the pee in the shampoo that was awaiting her delightful discovery!
We don’t have your… C.U.P…. (get it? didn’t you ever have a kid in your grade school class spell “I cup” and then laugh at them when they did?)
Is it just me, or is it like, totally weird how well I have stayed on topic lately?
It’s like the Twilight Zone or something!
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:49 am rating: +5
#12 WanderingPenguin
I was trying to work in the cup thing a bit better than the hockey reference, but now I won’t bother - because that was pretty funny.
(Mishee’s, I mean. Not being self-promoting at this point.)
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: +1
#13 GVI
Oh wow, she owns a Wandering Penguin! Oh it’s C.U.P, my bad.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:55 am rating: +3
#14 kureshii
WD: I thank thee for thy boundless mercy =)
Mishee: Damn, that was a good one… though I never had a kid in my grade school class do that, admittedly.
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:56 am rating: +2
#15 Ariadne
Does it strike anyone else as odd that the writer says “I don’t owe you an apology”, but “We don’t have your cup”, written as an afterthought? This seems suspiciously like the writer does have the cup, and is hiding behind the anonymous “we”… or “wee” as the case may be!
Nov 23, 2007 at 11:58 am rating: +3
#16 kureshii
“We don’t have your cup” looks like it was written by someone else, not the note-leaver; handwriting and ink density looks different.
How many roommates does she have? If it’s 3… maybe 1 left the first note, 1 prepared the shampoo bottle, and the last one attempted to create plausible denial…?
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:03 pm rating: +3
#17 Mishee
I have a friend who is a roommate like submitter. She yells at everyone for not doing stuff, and then accuses them of other things (”You took my favorite cup!”) and then she goes and hangs out with them anyways, even though she’s been bitching about them to me, and then finds her cup in the car a week later, under the driver’s seat. They kiss and make up, the cycle repeats itself a week later.
This is why I live alone.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:06 pm rating: +3
#18 kureshii
Oh, and does anyone else wonder what the note is about? On first glance it seems to be about leaving dishes unwashed… but on second glance it could be about the shampoo bottle
since it did accompany the shampoo bottle mixing.
“We don’t have your cup” remains a mystery though… aside from Mishee’s interesting alphabetism, of course.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: +2
#19 Andy
Hmm…
Ants, theft, urine-soaked shampoo… yep, just another day in Cali.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:13 pm rating: +1
#20 Canthz_B
No! We will not wash dishes!
No! We will not tolerate bitches!
Stop whining for us to clean up,
Or you’ll never again see sippy-cup!
So the sink had a few little ants,
Is that worse than the crabs in your pants?
Just leave us alone,
At least throw us a bone,
Next time you have your cramp on,
Properly dispose of your tampon!
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:14 pm rating: +4
#21 Canthz_B
There’s peepee in my shampoo.
I cannot make my hair-doo.
For work today I’ll be late,
I can’t find a clean breakfast plate!
I’ll talk to the girls and make things fine,
perhaps tonight I’ll have china upon which to dine.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:20 pm rating: +5
#22 Andy
One thing though, would she be so mad if the pee-soaked shampoo produced a lustrous shine, albeit a nasty odor?
I think I need more details on this story. Okay, maybe not.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: +2
#23 mamason
It’s a good thing they couldn’t shit in the shampoo bottle.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:46 pm rating: 0
#24 mamason
Then it would be shampoop.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:46 pm rating: +7
#25 mamason
Some tribes in Africa put their heads directly into the urine stream of their cattle. It bleaches their hair and is considered very desirable. Maybe her roomies were trying to be helpful.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:50 pm rating: +2
#26 Canthz_B
Dishes,
Filthy dirty dishes,
Dishes attract the ants,
Deep into our home.
My cup,
Left next to the ketchup,
Is no longer found.
Dishes,
Nothing more than dishes,
Now their throwing bitches,
At me in this town.
Dishes,
Nothing more than dishes,
I’m not starving their fishes,
If there’s a fight I’m down.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:52 pm rating: +3
#27 Wade
Sounds like some “lovely ladies” got tired of the door slamming and decided to try apartment life.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:53 pm rating: +5
#28 Larry David
Nice use of the marker board. We must be in college.
“I don’t owe you an apology”….for peeing in your shampoo??? “I don’t owe you an apology”….for letting a colony of ants inhabit our kitchen??? What is the apology intended for?
If someone peed in my shampoo, there would be some major repercussions.
Nov 23, 2007 at 12:54 pm rating: +4
#29 Mr DeBakey
Its sad to think of Anon
wandering about with
one unfettered breast
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:03 pm rating: +2
#30 Canthz_B
SHOOT…I just noticed that b*tch was NOT in the note and I used it twice…..I COULD HAVE SWORN I READ THAT THERE!!!
My apologies ladies and gents, I thought I was on topic but was not!
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:05 pm rating: +1
#31 Canthz_B
I must have gotten that word in my head from #17…again, Sorry ladies…this is all in jest anyway, right…we hope.
Not blaming you Mishee, my mind took a tailspin when the muse landed.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
#32 WanderingPenguin
CB, the preamble explains that there was an earlier note calling the submitter a “bitch”. That’s likely how it got stuck in your head.
And personally, I think the timeline is this: ants appear; roommates asked to clean dishes; note left calling submitter a bitch; apology demanded for note; shampoo peed in; whiteboard written on.
Now all we have to do is be sure this person wasn’t living alone at the time.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:18 pm rating: +3
#33 mamason
Mishee- Look down your shirt and spell attic.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:20 pm rating: +2
#34 WanderingPenguin
Why, mamason? Does she just have the one?
Poor Mishee.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:24 pm rating: +2
#35 GVI
#25- That gives a whole new meaning to Golden Shower.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:25 pm rating: +7
#36 Canthz_B
Thanks WP, Sorry Mishee…I’m not as crazy as the doc…oh, never mind!
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:27 pm rating: 0
#37 mamason
WP-
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:27 pm rating: 0
#38 WanderingPenguin
And a big rim shot for #35. Nice!
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:30 pm rating: 0
#39 Canthz_B
Nice one, Golden Vine of Incontinence!
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: +1
#40 Wade
Mmmmm, I love what Selsun Yellow does for my hair.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:46 pm rating: +5
#41 Wade
Though Piss-tene Pro-V has a nice lather.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:47 pm rating: +5
#42 Wade
But hands down, Clairol Urinal Essences is the best.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:48 pm rating: +5
#43 niteraven
Now if she could just get hold of some urinal cakes. They might make a delightful soap substitute… and they smell minty fresh.
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:58 pm rating: +1
#44 Canthz_B
When it rains it pours, eh Wade? LOL
Nov 23, 2007 at 1:59 pm rating: +2
#45 niteraven
To hell with Irish Spring I say!!
Nov 23, 2007 at 2:01 pm rating: +1
#46 Juliet
If someone left me that note, the aggression following that wouldn’t be even slightly passive.
As for “shampee”, that’s fighting dirty.
May I suggest Nair in the offending roommate’s shampoo or conditioner?
In the summer, may I suggest peroxide?
Nov 23, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: +5
#47 Canthz_B
Aye, but I like it too!
Nov 23, 2007 at 2:08 pm rating: 0
#48 Wade
“i moved out not too long after that.”
not too long?!!?
as in, i didn’t wait for the restraining order??
Nov 23, 2007 at 3:05 pm rating: +3
#49 Alix
Stop whining and get over it……for the greater good!!!!
Wow, what bitches. We don’t owe you an apology for making you live in sqaulor.
Nov 23, 2007 at 3:08 pm rating: 0
#50 mamason
In my shampoo
You did pee
That’s as nasty as can be.
When I beat you down
With a fist from me to you.
That’s when you’ll drink my shampoo!
Nov 23, 2007 at 3:27 pm rating: 0
#51 Canthz_B
Completely cover a bowl with ants? “I didn’t know you could do that!”
Peeing in some one’s shampoo? I’d like to have been a fly on the wall when they thought of that!
Watching Miss Frazzled move out…priceless!
Nov 23, 2007 at 3:30 pm rating: --1
#52 Canthz_B
Urinations
Make for poor relations.
Dishes unwashed,
Don’t leave grievances squashed.
Calling me names,
Your cup stealing games,
Your dirty ants,
Make me think of I should,
But I cant’s!
Nov 23, 2007 at 3:38 pm rating: 0
#53 super_fan#99
Now THAT’s fucking gross. I mean, really, peeing in someone’s shampoo? I would seriously have to have revenge with a capital R. Those bitches.
Nov 23, 2007 at 4:22 pm rating: 0
#54 niteraven
A Haiku…
My Shampoo smells odd…
Its strangely warm and yellow…
The breeze sadly sobs…
Nov 23, 2007 at 4:47 pm rating: +2
#55 lola
Pee in shampoo?
That’s only cool if you’re R. Kelly.
Nov 23, 2007 at 5:00 pm rating: +2
#56 lola
Notice how most of these college PANs are on dry erase boards?
It’s because college girls are encouraged to be bipolar with heated arguments over who peed in the shampoo, then makeup all-night cry sessions, and finally the “He’s only dating you cuz you’re a whore” meltdown. Hence the dry erase board - erase an emotion and replace with a new one.
I may have seen a few of these things in action.
Nov 23, 2007 at 5:05 pm rating: +2
#57 fallenangelohio
Personally, I think it’s time for the ex-lax brownies, or maybe the saran-wrapped toilet seat. Can’t be more juvenile than peeing in someone’s shampoo.
Nov 23, 2007 at 5:26 pm rating: +1
#58 Andy
I just thought of something: guys pissing in shit is logistically easier than a girl pissing in shit. That certainly does take some determination, doesn’t it?
Maybe that’s where the cup cum bedpan went.
Nov 23, 2007 at 6:48 pm rating: +2
#59 mamason
I thought they pissed in the shampoo bottle, not in shit.
Nov 23, 2007 at 7:16 pm rating: 0
#60 Olrun
Why do I sence a revenge strategy not unlike the movie “Heathers” or “Carrie” or something along those lines ?
Nov 23, 2007 at 7:34 pm rating: +1
#61 Canthz_B
‘poo pissers have a special place in Hell.
(Sham- or any other kind of poo!!)
Nov 23, 2007 at 7:39 pm rating: +1
#62 Olrun
I imagine revenge for this deed could go along the lines of “eye for an eye” but if someone urinated in my shampoo I wouldn’t return the favor and they wouldn’t owe me an apology, It would be their scalp they owed me.
Nov 23, 2007 at 8:18 pm rating: +1
#63 Olrun
Okay, Okay, that may be a little crude but still…
Nov 23, 2007 at 8:27 pm rating: 0
#64 Canthz_B
Piss in my ‘poo all you like…
Just don’t touch my hot pockets!
I would move out not long after…
For the greater good!
Nov 23, 2007 at 8:31 pm rating: 0
#65 Wade
Next time she reaches for the shampoo, maybe she should check and make sure it’s not a Snapple bottle.
Nov 23, 2007 at 8:44 pm rating: +3
#66 Rocky
“All right now, which one of you bitches peed in the Snapple? That’ll be 2 appologies, please….”
Nov 23, 2007 at 9:34 pm rating: 0
#67 morpho aurora
the (unwashed) cup was replaced in the cabinet, after being used to transfer pee into the shampoo bottle - right next to the ant covered bowl
Nov 23, 2007 at 9:43 pm rating: +2
#68 SHARKFAN
