couch-sleeping molly wasn’t andrea in astoria’s first roommate with quirky habits.
andrea’s now ex-roommate blythe has a penchant for leaving her chewed gum around the apartment in odd places – on this occasion, on a kitchen cutting board. (cue passive-aggressive amy!)
related: to put it as politely as possible
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
146 responses so far ↓
#1 WanderingPenguin
Is she sure that’s chewing gum? It could be Silly Putty. I swear I see Snoopy’s face in there, like when you press Silly Putty against the colour comics. Or maybe that’s the Virgin Mary?
Oh wait. On closer inspection it appears to be a poppy seeed.
Never mind.
Nov 30, 2007 at 10:52 am rating: +3
#2 Cookie
That ABC gum was fucking DELICIOUS!
Nov 30, 2007 at 10:58 am rating: --10
#3 WanderingPenguin
I should also point out that Amy is quite obviously wrong. Evidently you can forget to throw these things away.
Perhaps Blythe put it there so she could go back to it after finishing her sandwich but Amy found it first.
At any rate, leaving chewing gum in unusual and unexpected places would truly make her a…. dare I say… Blythe Spirit? Or was that Cowardly of me? A bit early for the Noel sentiments?
As a side note, thank goodness I got post #1 so that ubiquitous “FD” comment wasn’t the first thing we see on this thread, for a change.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:01 am rating: +5
#4 SHARKFAN
This is just too gross for words. I certainly wouldn’t have been so passive if I had written the note. Something this disgusting is just screaming out for a note full of capital letters, exclaimation points, jagged under-lines and maybe even an all-seeing eye!
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: +8
#5 Nony Mouse
Unfortunately, WP, it was second.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:08 am rating: +2
#6 Cass
Amy,
This is here for a very good reason. I did not forgEt to throw it away, but left it here intentionally. You see, as I was chopping up carrots for a lovely stew I was making, I noticed a tiny hole had formed in the cutting board. As I continued preparing my vegitables, the hole grew bigger. Just as I finished dicing onions, a tiny green person sort of being popped out of the hole. It introduced itself to me as Xagorn from the land of Arlkjiah and then explained that an interdimentional rift had opened up in our cutting board. Xagorn warned me that if the rift was left unplugged, one or both dimentions would face extrememly dangerous perril. So I sent Xagorn back to the land of Arlkjiah and patched the hole in the cutting board with the only thing I could think of: the piece of gum I had been chewing.
So you see, there is a very good reason for this being here.
Thanks
Blythe
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:08 am rating: +6
#7 WanderingPenguin
I know, Nony.
But meh - whaddya gonna do.?
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: +1
#8 GVI
What if Blythe is saving all her used gum to make a bust of Amy, kind of like what that blind girl did in the music video with Lionel Ritchie.
ps. Thanks for the note PANGoddess.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: +8
#9 WanderingPenguin
Hang on - does that say “forgIt”?? Do they have a “seement pond” out back, too?
Thanks, Cass, I missed that the first read-through.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:12 am rating: +1
#10 SHARKFAN
I thought that too, WP. But, I don’t think that says forgit. I think the dot over the e is part of the question mark above it.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: +1
#11 GVI
Looks like she said “Thugs” too.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: +2
#12 WanderingPenguin
I think you’re both right. It’s also funny that she seemed to dot the “e” but not 2 of the 3 “i”s.
Maybe she was trying to write in a “mumbling” manner - you know, like she had a mouth full of gum? - to really drive the point home!
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:18 am rating: +3
#13 unholyghost2003
Chewed gum must NEVER EVER EVER be on ANYTHING that will EVER touch food I will consume. Never. No even my HUSBAND’s chewed gum. Not even MY OWN chewed gum. Gum must be treated with the kind of care and attention given to toxic waste. It must be wrapped in paper until no damp spots can be seen on the paper. Then it must be placed in a cardboard container of some kind (used cup, empty ciggarette pack or the like) THEN placed in the trash in such a way that the paper gum wad can NOT escape the cardboard container. The lowest circle of HELL is reserved for people who place un-contained gum in ashtrays in bars. They must be killed.
People who leave wads of improperly disposed gum around the house should be smothered to death with their own gooy blobs.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:20 am rating: +3
#14 WanderingPenguin
Wow, uhg2k3. Issues much?
Actually…. you’re not far off from my (far) better half. But then…she’s totally insane.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:27 am rating: +3
#15 Ariadne
WP - Naw - the dot above the “e” in “forget” is a poppy seed.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:30 am rating: +3
#16 msmeadows
You know…my mother used to have this really bad habit of just setting her chewed gum wherever she felt deemed appropriate. Butter dish, recipe box, kitchen window sill…etc. Disgusting. I would always bitch at her about this nasty habit. Although I must say I am glad to hear that my mother is not the only one, I am still shocked that people do this with no regard for others. I mean..hell…if you live by yourself, go for it. Do as you please, but if you share your living space with someone else…clean up after yourself.
I think that Andrea should chew her own piece of gum…or maybe 5 pieces could be sufficient and stick it in Blythe’s hair while she is sleeping. She will think twice before sticking her disgusting, germ filled piece of goo in a shared space.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:31 am rating: +2
#17 alicia
that is the most disgusting thing i have ever heard of. D:~
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:36 am rating: 0
#18 WanderingPenguin
Ariadne: Oh. Well then what the hell is that in the gum?
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:37 am rating: +1
#19 Ariadne
WP: It’s the dot from over an “i”, of course.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:41 am rating: +3
#20 WanderingPenguin
Well, thank God. Now if we can just find the other one…
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:42 am rating: +2
#21 unholyghost2003
WP, yeah I know … that is why I don’t chew gum though … too much work.
I agree with the note’s sentiment, but I thing it is structured poorly and is not strong enough.
keeping things “sane” it should say:
“Blythe-
Why is this here? You should not forget to throw these things away!
-Amy”
If I wrote it:
“BITCH-
IF I FIND ONE MORE FUCKING WAD OF GUM IN SOME RANDOM ASS CORNER I WILL SLIT YOUR GODDAMN THROAT! THEN YOU WONT BE ABLE TO CHEW ANYMORE FUCKING GUM!”
I think I am so strongly opposed to impropper gum disposal due to years of waitressing. any who
TEAM AMY ALL THE WAY!
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:44 am rating: +12
#22 WanderingPenguin
“If you leave your gum on the cutting board before 9AM I will beat the shit out of you. I’m serious.
“
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: +2
#23 urban bohemian
While it looks like Blythe is true to her name and is rather carefree where she leaves her chewed-up wads, I’m Team Amy on this one.
No need to be passive at all, just aggressive. That’s nasty!
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:49 am rating: +2
#24 Olivia
Perhaps a chewing gum holder box at the front door would be a good solution? Nah…
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:50 am rating: +4
#25 still bonkers
Many years ago I was giving my 2 girls a bath. They were ready to get into the tub and I told the 6 year old to dispose of the wad of gum she had in her mouth. I turned to get towel from the linen closet and when I turned back around…oh say a nano second later, the 4 year old was trying to pick the said same gum from her butt crack. It was very hard to explain to the 6 year old that this was a very poor choice of places to dispose of trash and remove the gum and sooth the 4 year old while literally choking to keep from laughing.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:52 am rating: +16
#26 msmeadows
Dear unholyghost2003,
I laughed so hard that I think I just peed a little when I read that! That is exactly something I would say…
Kudos!
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:53 am rating: +1
#27 T-Bone
Perhaps a turkey heart from the giblets bag at Thanksgiving?
Save wads up for Blythe and put them in her food.
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:53 am rating: 0
#28 kureshii
Since when did PA stand for Politeness Absolute?
That note should have read:
“Maybe I misunderstood you - perhaps your boyfriend’s threatening crazy suicide shit or your just missed an assignment or you noticed someone stalking you and you absolutely HAD to leave the apartment at that point in time, carefully leaving behind your nicely shaped ball of gum in a strategic location so perhaps I would ponder about the things that are happening to you when I chance upon it.
But the next time I find gum anywhere in the apartment I will fucking strangle your hamster with it.”
And strangle should be underlined with squiggles
Nov 30, 2007 at 11:58 am rating: +7
#29 unholyghost2003
Still Bonkers,
I actually laughed out loud at that. WOW.
MsMeadows,
Thank you! I tend to be more “aggressive aggressive” than Passive aggressive
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm rating: +1
#30 Mary Kate
#17- My mom does that too! It’s because she chews the nicotine gum, and hates to throw it out if it still has some “juice” in it. Worst place I ever found it was- prepare yourself- in the fridge, stuck to the packaging of the lunchmeat, wedged in between the ham and cheese. Yuck!
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:02 pm rating: +5
#31 Mishee
That’s just fucking nasty…
Nothing worse than A.B.C. Gum!!
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: --2
#32 PSUJedi
Why is “Cell Block Tango” from “Chicago” running around in my head? Grant it, leaving gum on random surfaces isn’t the same as poppin’, but still!
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:07 pm rating: +2
#33 Troy McClure
Please visit http://www.last.fm/music/Troy+McClure/_/Gross+Do+You
and click play, if you can spare a minute forty nine. Better than last time, I promise.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: +2
#34 ian in hamburg
I’m surprized she didn’t say: ya cain’t fergit
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: +2
#35 msmeadows
Mary Kate…
That is possibly the most disgusting place I have heard of yet. I had to stop myself from dry heaving.
I mean…I guess I can understand somewhat with nicotine gum. But just regular chewing gum?!!? Here’s a fucking dollar…go buy a new pack. How cheap can you get? There are just some things that you cannot save and use again. Gum and condoms are 2 of them.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: +2
#36 Troy McClure
UHG at #22, I love your version of the note! Very David Rees.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:16 pm rating: 0
#37 mikey mouse
The best passive aggresive move should have been to pick this one and stick it to some of Blythe’s favorite things like inside his shoes, his Ipod, His hair if he is drunk, collect them all and put them in his sandwich or dump it in his bed… Would have been fun.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:20 pm rating: +1
#38 kureshii
WP: No problem - I’m somewhat of a rating whore but not to that extent =)
I’m wondering if “fergit” might be intentional… y’know, what with all the alternative meanings it carries… it might be more PA than I give it credit for, heh.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: +2
#39 WanderingPenguin
Um, mikey? Where do you live that the name “Blythe” is a guy’s name? Just curious.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:23 pm rating: +3
#40 WanderingPenguin
There, kureshii - I rated that one a “plus” to make up for it.
Not that I wouldn’t have anyway, you know, it’s just that….that …
Aw, fergit it.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: +2
#41 Karen
Did Blythe just go transexual ?
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:26 pm rating: +3
#42 unholyghost2003
WP maybe Blythe is his last name?
but yeah… really only women are called Blythe
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:30 pm rating: +2
#43 mike
well at least it wasnt her sanitary napkin thats rude…
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:38 pm rating: --2
#44 unholyghost2003
and on this already disgusting note mike pole vaults over the line with number 45!
good job mike!
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:47 pm rating: +1
#45 msmeadows
#45…
I think I love you.
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:49 pm rating: --3
#46 ALA
If I were creative, I would come up with song lyrics for this…however, there’s no need…Lonnie Donegan & His Skiffle Group beat me to it (circa 1959)
Oh-me, oh-my, oh-you
Whatever shall I do
Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
I’d give a lot of dough
If only I could know
The answer to my question
Is it yes or is it no
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight
If your mother says don’t chew it
Do you swallow it in spite
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight
Nov 30, 2007 at 12:54 pm rating: +3
#47 Jodi Blaze
It looks like pale play-doh
Ah forgit it
Nov 30, 2007 at 1:08 pm rating: +1
#48 Wade
I’m not sure which looks more disgusting:
The wad of chewed-up gum … or the cutting board attached to it.
Bleech!
Team Throw Out The Baby And The Bathwater
Nov 30, 2007 at 1:17 pm rating: +4
#49 mamason
I think it’s Blythe’s rather clumsy attempt to express her love for Amy by fashioning a crude heart w/ her ABC gum. The poppy seed is symbolic of the black hole that is slowly consuming her, for alas; her love is unrequited. Really quite touching if you think about it.
Nov 30, 2007 at 1:49 pm rating: +4
#50 mamason
Troy- Love the song! Love the Carpenters!
Nov 30, 2007 at 1:52 pm rating: 0
#51 Anti-blither
I say it’s fake. Her name is a homophone for “blithe,” fer chrissake - i.e. careless, without regard for others’ feelings. Nice try.
Nov 30, 2007 at 1:53 pm rating: --1
#52 Bucklehoneysuckle
I think Blythe was just a big “Where’s Waldo?” fan as a child, and since he doesn’t have a Waldo to hide, he uses gum. Although, “Where’s My Disgusting Chewing Gum?” sounds less exciting than “Where’s Waldo?,” I must say, he gets points for creativity. Amy should be happy she found it, she found Waldo…err… Disgusting Chewing Gum!
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:32 pm rating: +3
#53 Bucklehoneysuckle
Oh…and I’ve never heard of anyone with the first name of Blythe, I did, however, know some guys with the LAST name of Blythe.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:37 pm rating: +2
#54 WanderingPenguin
Seriously, I think it bears repeating: where are people living that “Blythe” is a man’s name? I just really want to know!
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:41 pm rating: +1
#55 WanderingPenguin
You mean, like, Captain Blythe?
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:41 pm rating: +2
#56 Canthz_B
What an odd mix of script and print.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:42 pm rating: +1
#57 Bucklehoneysuckle
Captain Blythe? Should I know a Captain Blythe? Should Captain Blythe ring some sort of hypothetical bell? Because… It doesn’t. Hah.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#58 WanderingPenguin
The arrow on that note intrigues me as well. Is it indicating that the gum is named “Amy”? Or did Amy write the note and then add the arrow as an afterthought, lest Blythe mistakenly assume that Amy meant that the note should be thrown out? Or was the note originally left elsewhere in the kitchen with the arrow pointing at the Ugly Chef Placemat on the table?
The mind boggles.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:47 pm rating: +2
#59 Karen
I think of Blythe as a very old-fashioned name. Something from the ’40s or ’50s. How old is this gum-chewer, like 80 ? (ok, so my math is off a bit, but still).
Maybe it’s not Blythe’s gum. Maybe it’s her denture glue. Her teeth are in a glass - she needs that glue for later.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:47 pm rating: +2
#60 SHARKFAN
Um…Blythe Danner, anyone? Gwenyth Paltrow’s mother! Sheesh.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:49 pm rating: +2
#61 WanderingPenguin
Yes, that would make it a name from the 40s or 50s, wouldn’t it Sharkie?
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:54 pm rating: +3
#62 Wade
This is Blythe.
http://www.thisisblythe.com/
The Horror!!
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:55 pm rating: +6
#63 Karen
Wow, I just finally registered last night, and I’m already rated - positively, even! (I left off my LW initials)
I can’t tell you how special I feel at this very moment.
Nov 30, 2007 at 2:55 pm rating: +2
#64 SHARK