I used to be your biggest fan

December 3rd, 2007 · 69 comments

Derek and his bandmates in the Grand rapids, Michigan rock/metal band Charles the Osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.

Unlike the unwilling participants in Improv Rverywhere’s “best gig ever,” Charles the Osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. Writes Derek: “The funniest part is that she says nothing about the songwriting, which is obviously what she really hated, but rather talks about our lack of talent!”

Band #1 — Thanks for playing tonight. I really enjoyed your obvious lack of musical talent. It also really helps to play your bad music really, really, low! Give me a call sometime. Meghan 6168418159

(Sorry, would-be prank callers: it’s a non-working number.)

related: You know he only became a dj to get girls

FILED UNDER: Grand Rapids · Michigan · music · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)


69 responses so far ↓

  • #1   WanderingPenguin bang

    That reminds me of this one time at band camp…

    No, wait. It doesn’t. Holy hell what a psychotic note. :D

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Ariadne bang

    Must be something about girls named Meagan/Meghan. Similar handwriting, to boot!

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      Nice to see you haven’t been scared off, Ari!

      Dec 3, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Ariadne bang

      Thanks WP – I just haven’t had any interesting fugitive/ public hair-washing anecdotes recently! :)

      Dec 3, 2007 at 2:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Bucklehoneysuckle bang

    I really wanted to prank that number. :(

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   unholyghost2003 bang

    If you don’t like a band simply don’t go hear them. If you have pull with the owners see that they don’t get booked again. Why write a PA note? They are not an Emo band so obviously they are not selfloathing enough to hate themselves for sucking (if they DID actually suck). Your note on a tag from The Limited will not make them stop playing or change their style of music.

    p.s. you shop at The Limited … I am guessing you are not a metal band’s target audience anyway

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:43 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kureshii bang

      Because we all know that the right way to express frustration/disgust/appall at something you don’t like but don’t what to do anything about directly, is to write a PAN ;-)

      Consider it an offering to the PAN gods, we need our regular fix anyway.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   WanderingPenguin bang

    Hey! Isn’t that a picture of lauralaiwc? I was wondering what had happened to her!

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   GhostWriter bang

    This is the same market segment that the Beastie Boys captured; “You Suck So Bad, I Love You!”

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   amy d bang

      I love, love, love the Beastie Boys. If I could marry them as an unit, I would.

      Yeah, I sense a ‘tard coming.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   GhostWriter bang

      Oh Yes U DO! Borrow my old blue unitard, and you’re almost on your way down the aisle.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   amy d bang

      Hey, that’s something borrowed AND something blue. You rock GW!

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   GhostWriter bang

      amy d – borrowed, blue AND old! Grab the new Charles the Osprey CD, and you’ve got yourself a reception (pending blood tests…).

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   amy d bang

    Aaahh..the classic “add insult to injury” move; Tell someone how bad they suck, include a picture of a hot chick, invite them to call you and then leave a fake number.

    I weep.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Bucklehoneysuckle bang

    I wonder if the band actually tried to call that number… Hmm.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Mishee bang

    Doesn’t Meghan realize that the only way to play bad music is “really really loud”… otherwise, what’s the point?? :D

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:51 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   pirateywill

    mm, mm, mm, sweet nourishing sarcasm.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 2:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   GhostWriter bang

    Sure- the note pwns the band, but at least they are public and proud on stage. I can guarantee that the note writer looks nothing like the pic. What kind of heifer collects those cards from the Limited, anyway? Team Band Snob Rodeo!

    Dec 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Bucklehoneysuckle bang

      I collect those cards from the Limited!!

      Wait…no I don’t.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Wade bang

      Not just public and proud, GW.

      They posted the note as the background on their myspace page.

      LOL

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:09 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Bucklehoneysuckle bang

      Thanks for pointing that out! That is HILARIOUS.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    •  
    • #11.4   GhostWriter bang

      That nails it- I’m getting a Charles the Osprey tattoo on my neck this evening!

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   unholyghost2003 bang

    dollars to doughnuts the note writer is one of the following:
    1. a groupie for band #2
    2. a dude from band #2
    2. a groupie/girlfriend of a dude from band #2 writing at the dude’s suggestion.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 3:04 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   lola bang

      Dude…

      Dec 3, 2007 at 3:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   JPav

    Do you really want your fans shopping at The Limited?

    Dec 3, 2007 at 3:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Willow

    I’ll bet the person who wrote this was a bitter, ugly man.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 3:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   lola bang

    I agree that the note writer was probably not a hot chick, or she was a late-bloomer. A harmless prank from a just-out-of-high-school Valley Girl.

    If the cards had been from Express, on the other hand, or Wet Seal (ooh, my favorite bar clothes / hooker store), I’d be worried about contracting a contagious disease from it.

    Odds are the band ritualistically burned the thing.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Katzndogz bang

    She needs a new pen.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 3:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   GhostWriter bang

      It’s not the pen- she drips “Teen Spirit” as she writes.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 4:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   amy d bang

    I hate that smell!

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   amy d bang

    Oh yeah, the blood tests! Cool, last time I had one, I only made a B. I’ll study this time so I can improve my blood grade.

    Oops, this is in response to GW. I forgot to “reply to this comment”.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Liam

    Er????

    Who said being in a band was anything to do with being good?

    Plus I bet she wants you pronounce her name “Meeghaan” not “Meggann”.

    And now for a bit of random nastiness….she probably turned up hoping for some hot band to be a slut with…..actually I personally subscribe to the theory that positive aggressive note posters are sexually bereft.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   fussbudget bang

    meghan is a discerning groupie. she knows that if she leaves a “hi, i have big tits, call me” note then the band will pass it on to their fat douchebag roadie who will call and make her do naughty things to his sweaty genitals before even allowing a meet ‘n greet with the band (and probably only the base player at that).

    by going with a more hard-core note like this she demonstrates that she is funny and not your normal suck-’n-slag groupie. she knows that only an interesting and self-confident dude would have the guts to call her (lead singer/guitarist for sure).

    team meghan.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   wicked opinion

    WTF? If they suck, so what? Don’t go again. There is already a whole population of people out there who make it their JOB to tell other people their opinion of them -they are called families. Don’t try to steal their thunder.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:41 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      LMAO – families. Nice touch. :D

      Dec 3, 2007 at 4:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Alix

      WO: Haha, yes. And also critics! That’s what sprung to my mind initially. She’s going to put music critics out of a job!

      Dec 3, 2007 at 4:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   aimee

    She left her number… maybe she was just trying to leave a different kind of note to get one of them to actually call her? Seems ingenious to me…

    Team Meghan

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   WanderingPenguin bang

    The added “really, really loud” comment makes me think of this from Annie Hall:

    “There’s an old joke – um… two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ‘em says, ‘Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.’ The other one says, ‘Yeah, I know; and such small portions.’ ”

    I’m not even sure why, really, since the sentiments don’t jibe at all, but anytime something can make you think of a great Woody Allen line in the middle of the day it’s ok by me. :)

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   mamason bang

      “I’m not really your dad, technically.”
      *Another great Woody Allen line… probably uttered in the middle of the day.*

      Dec 4, 2007 at 6:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Alix

    Someone has to say it, and its finally my turn:
    That limited tag was fucking delicious!

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Rocky

      And Alix gets the UNITARD!!!!!!!!!

      Dec 3, 2007 at 5:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Alix

      Yay! Thank you. Somehow I’ve missed what the unitard means but I’m going to assume/pretend its complimetary.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 6:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Troy McClure bang

      Hi Alix, the meaning of the Unitard (like all meanings) is contested. But see http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/12/a-single-unit/ for some background.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 7:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Troy McClure bang

      “Saving comment failed or cancel?” Well, it’s getting there. Anyway, what I was trying to add was that I agree you probably ought to take the unitard as complimentary whenever tenable. As Oscar Wilde said, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 7:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    Meghan is a struggling music teacher trying to drum up some business. She has failed and her phone has been disconnected for non-payment.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 4:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Jim

    Why are so many of these notes not passive-aggressive, but simply non-confrontational (by virtue of being a note instead of a shouting match)?

    Dec 3, 2007 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Bas

    Actually, for an experimental music band they are “quite” good. My advice to xox~*~Meghan~*~xox is: “do not mess with stuff you have no clue about (:”
    I bet she went to the club for some HIM or PLACEBO covers.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 8:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Writer, Rejected

    Crazy bitch! But I bet it makes the band feel good that someone was moved enough to write them a heckling letter on hot pink paper from The Limited. That’s the kind of think you should frame.

    Um…does anyone else thing the PAN site is getting awfully fancy. Now you can respond directly to other replies and get a sub-number number. Not to mention the intense Blog Her ad, which I’ve mentioned before, but no one seems to ever comment back about it.

    I’m not just saying this because I was taken off the blogroll. Seriously.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 9:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      Personally, the think I like best about this site is that some people thing that “think” and “thing” are interchangeable words. ;)

      I have noticed the same thing about the Blog Her ad. I think that changes more often than our own “Stirring Up Trouble” roll call!

      Dec 3, 2007 at 9:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Writer, Rejected

      It wouldn’t let me change the typo “thing” with the correciton “think.” It wouldn’t save the change, dude. Another complaint I have.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 10:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Andy bang

      Writer: I think it’s time to rabble-rouse to get reinstated to the blogroll.

      Also, you get about 2 minutes to edit a post, maybe a bit less. I’ve had it make it look like it was going to change a post for me, only to deny me cruelly.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 10:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   Writer, Rejected

      Bastards! This is an outrage! I’m getting ready to protest outside the doors of PAN. Kerry, why have you banished me from the blogroll?

      Dec 4, 2007 at 10:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Canthz_B bang

    To the tune of “You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me”, Beatles, Miracles.

    I don’t like you,
    They should can you.
    Have another drink is,
    All that I can do.
    Oh, oh, oh you play so badly,
    I feel so sadly,
    I’m starting to find you sexy.
    I’m starting to find you sexy.

    Baby,

    Your bad music,
    Is played so loud,
    That I can not hear.
    I really should leave here,
    But a guy just bought me beer.
    The night is young yet,
    And you should not forget,
    I’m starting to find you sexy.
    I’m starting to find you sexy.

    Just call me. Call me. Call me. Call me.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 9:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Juliet bang

    This note is hilarious!

    I like that someone’s band inspired a total stranger to give them sarcastic feedback, P-A style. I’ve seen bands that suck, but I just move on to whatever else is happening that evening. I’ve never written them notes of love or of loathing.
    I now want to hear the band, just to know how the note was inspired.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 10:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Juliet bang

    Oops.. just noticed the link to the band.

    Dec 3, 2007 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Andy bang

      I love that they used the image above as their MySpace background image.

      Well, you know what they say when someone hands you lemons, they are cold-hearted bitches.

      Dec 3, 2007 at 10:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Wade bang

      Andy! I can’t believe that you, of all people, didn’t put this comment into the #11 thread, ROFL. :D

      Dec 4, 2007 at 7:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Wade bang

    As they were engaged in their post-set, er, “smoke”, I wonder if Derek and his bandmates were playing d0minoes.

    Dec 4, 2007 at 7:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   theblackdog

    Oh come on, at least use a rejection hotline phone number, then they could have had a laugh at the message.

    Dec 4, 2007 at 8:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Kimberly

    I live less than an hour from Grand Rapids, this makes me want to go check them out!

    Dec 4, 2007 at 3:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   highonF4i

    I just finally put it together that the girl in the photo is just a “The Limited” model, I think it might even be the back side of that note, based on the identical size. So was it a “The Limited” model that wrote that note, or some completely different girl that just happened to have that card on her? If that WAS actually the model that wrote the note, I would have cried when i found out the number went nowhere.

    Dec 4, 2007 at 5:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   WanderingPenguin bang

    I wonder if they sell unitards at “The Limited”…

    Dec 4, 2007 at 5:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   wicked opinion

    They do…they are black with faint gray pinstripes and have a cheap, trendy black patent leather belt on them and only come in size 2. Just like everything else in the Limited.

    Dec 5, 2007 at 8:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   D

    i don’t understand. Why write it on The Limited thing?

    Dec 5, 2007 at 6:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Bebo

    $50 says the note came from some girl one of the band members got with and never called back.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 2:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   usp45

      so the band didn’t suck, she did?

      Dec 10, 2007 at 4:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Nikki

    ADVERBS! Loudly!

    Jun 17, 2008 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   buskers & broomsticks | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

    [...] related: i used to be your biggest fan [...]

    Sep 18, 2008 at 7:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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