Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich
December 5th, 2007 · 138 comments
FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · Reston · stealing · Virginia
138 responses so far ↓
#1
Andy
That first note is funny, though! The first line’s WordArt is funny, the second line is funny, the quotation marks are funny.
Nice chant, though:
It’s not funny
It’s not a joke
Why don’t we have
A nice cold Coke! Hey!
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:15 pm rating: 9
#2
stargirl
wow thats pretty wierd. yeah im one of the first comments!
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:27 pm rating: 1
#3
Andy
All right, the second note. I like how it builds from just a sandwich to a HOMEMADE sandwich. Very dramatic.
I have a question about the “non-packaged product” item, though. Was said sammich in a sammich bag? Is that not packaged? Who puts a sammich in the refrigerator unpackaged? Who? Who?????
Plus, why in the hell would I want to eat my lunch covered with my saliva and boogers? Nice.
Finally, the third note. Wishing disease, dismissal and a happy holiday season all in one message. Great! Other than that, this note was well composed and everything, so well done, I guess.
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: 12
#4
Mermaid
That first note reminds me of the intro to those cheesy 1950′s health class movies…
“It’s not funny… It’s not a joke…
IT’S HERPES! And it could cost you your life…”
Ahhh, fear in black and white.
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:42 pm rating: 12
#5
Canthz_B
If you place a “Dagwood” into the office fridge you’re asking for it. Stick to leftover pizza your Mom bought for you!
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:46 pm rating: 2
#6
Wade
Yeah, about that third note…
If you have been diagnosed with strep throat, what the hell are you doing at work!!!
I’m sure the number of fellow employees that fall ill due to your ignorant disregard for their health will be far greater than the one who ate your leftover lunch.
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:54 pm rating: 14
#7
DrAstroZoom
I’m sorry, but it takes plenty of initiative and drive to steal a sandwich, so I refuse to be called lazy! Spread THAT on your homemade sandwich and eat it!
Dec 5, 2007 at 5:55 pm rating: 8
#8
Alix
The last line of the last note is priceless! Merry Christmas, asshole!
Wade: true, but after 24 hours of anti-biotics, you’re not contageous via airborn agents anymore. At least I think that’s true, I clearly do not have anything resembling a medical degree.
Maybe the note writer works at this office: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/07/24/demotivationals/ and feels to guilty to call in sick.
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:06 pm rating: 3
#9
super_fan99
Maybe “Karma” is really his connected Uncle Vito.
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:08 pm rating: 4
#10
Canthz_B
Dear Friend,
Your sandwich was not stolen, we flushed it. Please use a clear plastic Ziploc brand bag the next time you bring a Limburger cheese sandwich from home!
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
–Your Co-Workers
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:14 pm rating: 5
#11
melissa
I totally feel the pain of the writer of note # 2 but, ummm, dude? you have food handled by others all the time. it’s called eating in a restaurant. dur.
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:36 pm rating: 4
#12
D
My goodness. Why steal food? i don’t get it
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:46 pm rating: 4
#13
Olivia
Well it’s a good thing I’m eating my dinner right now… while being completely grossed out at the thought of fondled food and strep throat germs. Oi.
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:48 pm rating: 0
#14
unholyghost2003
Dear writer of note number 1. It’s not funny. It’s not a joke. Threatening fellow employees with dismissal for acts you term accidental in your own missive is grounds for repramand, in combination with the misuse of company materials for making the personal note it is grounds for dismissal.
Dec 5, 2007 at 6:57 pm rating: 1
#15
amazon
Did anyone else go to that guy’s Flickr page? I enjoyed the note that said “This fridge will be cleaned out every Friday” and then in pencil, someone wrote “or when I’m hungry.” I love it when PA notes come full circle.
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:09 pm rating: 7
#16
GVI
I love the ”To the ignorant person who stole my lunch between yesterday and today”. Why be an ass, just say yesterday.
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:14 pm rating: 3
#17
Rita
I like how the writer of the BEWARE note used the tactic of asking all of those questions.
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:26 pm rating: 2
#18
Eilis
I like that the “ignorant person” in the first line of note #3 has become “such a genius” by the second paragraph. You ignorant, swollen-glanded, Happy Holiday having, thieving genius!
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:32 pm rating: 8
#19
joelogon
Hey, cool — thanks for the linkage. I haven’t been very good in scouring flickr for new content for the Furious Fridge Notes pool, so feel free to add your own stuff.
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:43 pm rating: 3
#20
candycane
Are Karma and the Heisa monster are related?
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:44 pm rating: 2
#21
Jason
What? 20 comments and no “That sandwich was fucking delicious”?
I’m so disappointed in the commenters here now.
Dec 5, 2007 at 7:59 pm rating: 0
#22
mamason
Note # 2- Who steals food … ? Ummm… Someone who’s hungry.
Dec 5, 2007 at 8:21 pm rating: 0
#23
WanderingPenguin
(With apologies to The Hollies and their song He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother):
The bread was rye
And loaded with caraway,
Inside was some deviled ham
And a yam
All topped off with pickles and sauerkraut
It ain’t funny, it’s my sandwich.
‘Twas in the fridge
All ready for me to eat
But when lunchtime came along
It was gone:
Seems some “stealer” took it all away from me
It ain’t funny, it’s my sandwich.
Now I’m hungry and all
I have left is one cracker;
You damned office thief
You’re the ultimate slacker –
Next time make your own lunch!
It was fresh rye bread;
My mouth watered when I bought
The loaf from the store but now there’s no more:
For I used all of it for that one meal….
It ain’t funny, it’s my sandwich!
Dec 5, 2007 at 8:28 pm rating: 13
#24
Jeff St Real
Good god, just bring a Lean Cuisine!
Dec 5, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: 1
#25
lola
The victim in note #2 is obviously new to this game of “musical lunches,” otherwise they would NEVER have spent the time making a sandwich to sacrifice to the lunch thieves. It would have been a hotpocket. And it would have been laced with rocket pubes only visible after the thing was half-eaten.
Besides, I thought licking the food before submission was mandatory office procedure.
You have much to learn…
Dec 5, 2007 at 11:00 pm rating: 7
#26
Writer, Rejected
Wait a minute. Can you actually get fired for stealing a co-worker’s sandwich? If so, I’m screwed.
Dec 5, 2007 at 11:10 pm rating: 7
#27
racerx
A penguin in a unitard is my favorite pre-pubescent Bloom County fantasy! Work it baby.
Dec 6, 2007 at 1:00 am rating: 5
#28
Dave T
Why do people steal other’s lunches? That shit is trifling.
Dec 6, 2007 at 2:00 am rating: 4
#29
Sparkles
@Dave T;
Why do people steal other’s lunches? That shit is trifling.
Because trifle is fucking delicious!
Dec 6, 2007 at 4:35 am rating: 2
#30
Canthz_B
To the tune of “Born to be Wild”, well close anyway.
Looking for my sandwich.
Someone’s stolen it away.
I was going to eat that,
Someone’s ruining my day.
Oh Lord how could this happen,
In such a friendly office space?
I’m writing a letter now for,
This thief to face.
I don’t want to do this.
But I miss my sandwich.
Somebody just must pay,
For my empty stomach today.
Yeah, this letter is going to happen,
I won’t take this crap at my workplace.
No one should ever steal a lunch,
That I wiped on my face.
I’m really riled!
I’m really riled!
Dec 6, 2007 at 5:28 am rating: 1
#31
A.A guy
Okay; Picture me dancing(like Martin Short)……
I don’t work in an office…I don’t work in an office…(little Elaine twist added)…don’t work in an office……
Dec 6, 2007 at 7:08 am rating: 4
#32
A.A guy
Is Karma like a really BIG guy, because I’ll bet my friend KISMET could kick his ass.
Dec 6, 2007 at 7:13 am rating: 6
#33
Pdog
Everyone chip in and stock the fridge then a
fucking sandwich wouldn’t be that big of a deal.
Its the holidays for goodness sake!
Dec 6, 2007 at 7:21 am rating: 0
#34
A.A guy
Stealing a sandwich (or anything else) isn’t ignorant.It simply demonstrates a focused mission accomplished.
As long as you flush after eating said lunch,all will love and respect you!
Team Stock Brockers.
Dec 6, 2007 at 7:26 am rating: 4
#35
A.A guy
If it’s the holidays then I’ll be stealing Turkey and stuffing sandwiches pretty soon.
Dec 6, 2007 at 7:40 am rating: 4
#36
Bas
Canthz_B brightens my day up (:
I believe the owner of the second pa-note is named Earl
Dec 6, 2007 at 7:45 am rating: 0
#37
reclusivemonkey
Reminds me of one of my favourite Dilberts;
http://members.whattheythink.com/dilbert/dilbert051123.cfm
Team Ted Sandwich FTW!
Dec 6, 2007 at 8:29 am rating: 4
#38
Wade
I’m not feeling so good today.
Maybe I grabbed the wrong sandwich out of the fridge.
Dec 6, 2007 at 9:46 am rating: 4
#39
Bucklehoneysuckle
The third note:
“Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family!”
Okay, so obviously, he doesn’t wish “you” a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year – obvious sarcasm. But now the family gets dragged into it just because of a SANDWICH. The note writer wants them all to have a sucky holiday season because of a SANDWICH. Come on, don’t drag the innocent with the guilty.
…That is all.
Dec 6, 2007 at 9:54 am rating: 5
#40
Katzndogz
If a person has the type of sense of humor where they think stealing other people’s lunch is funny, wouldn’t they think a whiny note is completely hysterical?
Dec 6, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: 3
#41
A.A guy
I’m eating your sandwich…..HO HO HO!
Dec 6, 2007 at 11:05 am rating: 2
#42
GhostWriter
I thought that the obligatory Post-It note reply to all these was, “You call that a sandwich?“
Dec 6, 2007 at 11:22 am rating: 5
#43
Katzndogz
I always think of poor, BSC Ross and the bastard who stole his sandwich.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziQrW-dOGWc
(warning: this video may be disturbing to those who appreciate a good sandwich)
Dec 6, 2007 at 11:39 am rating: 1
#44
Juliet
The first thing I saw when I got on this page was the note that said “It’s not funny!” and I immediately started to laugh, even before I knew what the note was about.
If you preface any complaint with “It’s not funny” I am almost guaranteed to laugh.
Whoever posted that first note: that is a note that needs a pink-penned penis on it.
Dec 6, 2007 at 12:51 pm rating: 3
#45
GhostWriter
Point of order- wouldn’t a completely lazy thief be too unambitious to leave his cubicle, much less steal a sandwich? As Caesar Augustus once said, “If I am to be surrounded by thieves, make them completely lazy as well.”
Dec 6, 2007 at 1:04 pm rating: 6
#46
unholyghost2003
Regarding everyone asking if sandwich stealing could ACTUALLY get you fired: It depends. If you are targeting the sandwiches of one person then it would be considered harassment and yes, could get you fired. If it could be proven that you were activly plotting, planning and stealing lunches (not OOPS! got the wrong bag once, too late now) yes, employee on employee theft is a crime. It all depends on how bored/ how hard assed the HR department is.
I have spent TOO MUCH TIME in HR *shudder*
BTW CB @ 14.1 I promise that every HR department in the WORLD would be happier if they thought they could get away with saying that. “Sorry Frank, we can’t help you. I’ll tell you what though, Bob drives a BLUE CIVIC. Got that? Here is a crowbar. Just do it off company property!”
Dec 6, 2007 at 1:31 pm rating: 10
#47
Karen
Why did ‘funny’ and ‘joke’ even make it onto the note ? Did the note-writer go around the office asking about his sandwich – only to be laughed at about it ? So now he writes the note, all whiney…”It’s not funny…whaaaaaa”. Boo hoo.
And how much time did the writer spend choosing just the right wordart designs and colors? Nope, not this one. Yes, this one ! Perfect ! This person is determined.
And look how beat up the note is. How long has it been up there ? NOW it’s funny !
Dec 6, 2007 at 1:35 pm rating: 4
#48
mamason
You know, since these notes were posted I’ve tried to think of something clever to say. Some little witticism that might please the PAN deity and the acolytes but I can’t get past my sense of outrage that some bone headed mother fucker would stoop so low and steal somebodies lunch. Personally, I would go on an office rampage checking everyone’s trash cans while screaming wildly about the low life, asshole, motherfucker who stole my fucking lunch. I’d probably be arrested for dis-orderly conduct, resisting arrest, destruction of private property and misdemeanor assault. I’d then have to be sedated and hospitalized for an involuntary psych evaluation. After much medication I’d be presented with my termination and divorce papers, which would send me into another psychotic meltdown, thereby ensuring a prolonged stay at the institution. The moral of the story- Go to Chile’s for lunch. It’s just not worth the risk.
Dec 6, 2007 at 1:48 pm rating: 8
#49
amy d
Sadly, I’ve seen notes like #1 in my office, although they take the guilt to another level. One such note claimed the food thief would be denied entrance to Heaven.
Dec 6, 2007 at 2:11 pm rating: 4
#50
WanderingPenguin
I just have to wonder out loud: is there no chance at all that these lunches were tossed out by an over-zealous, self-appointed fridge-cleaner? Did the aggrieved parties check their respective kitchen garbage containers? Note 2, for example, shows part of a second note on that same fridge clearly indicating that it will be “cleaned out” (as I read on the Flickr link) every Friday. Since they don’t specify when on Friday and since the victim has stated that the sandwich was “unpackaged”… isn’t there at least a teeny, tiny chance that this happened on a Friday and it was just purged?
I’d also like to say that someone who can leave one note like this is likely a “repeat offender”: there’s an excellent chance that the “purging”, if it took place, was not an accident.
Dec 6, 2007 at 2:21 pm rating: 2
#51
Bebo
Note three is probably right but man I hate his/her attitude. You can totally tell they think they’re really sticking it to the lunch thief (why btw could have simply been removing partially eaten strep throat germed food from the communal fridge) with the whole wishing illness and then throwing in the happy holidays bit. It’s like…a poorly done PA note. Its hack PA!
Dec 6, 2007 at 2:50 pm rating: 4
#52
Kite
A coworker recently left an opened slightly melted candy bar in the break room freezer. Before doing so she announced that she would be right back for it and that we shouldn’t even think about stealing it because she had licked it. Most of us laughed and a few minutes later left the room. I later found out that when she went back to get the candy bar there was no candy bar. In it’s place was a note saying “I took it BECAUSE you licked. wink wink”
Dec 6, 2007 at 3:42 pm rating: 15
#53
Writer, Rejected
Come to think of it, I do have kind of a sore throat today. Guess I learned my sandwich-stealing lesson. The only problem is that I’m hungry again.
Dec 6, 2007 at 4:00 pm rating: 2
#54
Jodi Blaze
Do you really want something someone else handled?
If they like to eat out, I guess it’s no problem
Dec 6, 2007 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
#55
Nattie
Just want to see another sign that says, “Food stealer! Thank god your mother doesn’t work here, what would she think!!”
Dec 6, 2007 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
#56
jess
i LOVE the use of word art on the first sign. they really went ALL OUT with the extras MS Word has to offer.
Dec 6, 2007 at 8:25 pm rating: 1
#57
raiseyourglass
I wonder if the karma guy’s sandwich was in the fridge on friday and got tossed on clean out day? hmmm….
Dec 6, 2007 at 9:52 pm rating: 0
#58
A.A guy
Can you steal a good lunch at Chile’s?
Dec 7, 2007 at 1:53 am rating: 3
#59
A.A guy
OH……..What or who is..are Chile’s?
Dec 7, 2007 at 1:54 am rating: 3
#60
Inga
I just can’t get over the second author’s intention to sneeze all over her (?) food before she comes to work.
“I know I will.”
What? What? Oh, my. Don’t sneeze all over your food. Oh, no. This can’t be the best response to missing a sammy, this sneezing business.
That’s got to add 3, 4 minutes at least to the morning routine. Oh. Don’t do that.
Dec 7, 2007 at 9:43 pm rating: 0
#61
Willow
It’s lucky sneeze and profusely lick your food didn’t sign that note. Otherwise, the company reason for letting them go would be “Insisted on sneezing and profusely licking food.”
Dec 8, 2007 at 5:16 am rating: 0
#62
suhayla
I bet the office manager had his/her food stolen and had her/his poor assistant make up the ‘memo’ – so bored and embarassed assistant dutifully went and prettied up a PPT slide as is his/her custom for all office signage. The other notes don’t really have the flare of an assisted memo… they’re too personal.
Dec 8, 2007 at 11:21 pm rating: 1
#63
saisei
I’m not entirely sure the note-writer is going to enjoy their next sandwich, either….judging from the licking and the sneezing and whatnot.
Dec 9, 2007 at 10:10 pm rating: 0
#64
S
Ah, so there’s the a$$hole who comes to work with Strep and passes it on to everyone.
Dec 12, 2007 at 1:04 pm rating: 1
#65
John
I was about to read more comments but quit after it got off topic, I think I read maybe 10 comments. Anyway, if you take food out of the company fridge without asking, your just an asshole. Simple as that.
Next.
Jan 2, 2008 at 7:57 pm rating: 0
#66
HappyPanda
other people’s lunch tastes twice as good. So I steal it every day. Just get used to it and bring two.
Jan 4, 2008 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#67
fuhuck
Did I tell you about the time I baked Ex-Lax and rat poison into chocolate cupcakes to foil this one sombitch co-worker and food stealer? A lot of Ex-Lax. A little rat poison. Just wanted to make a point.
Or the ground glass and hamster turds I put in the homemade pizza to fortify the guest at my bed-and-breakfast who couldn’t restrain their midnight food-stealing habits? This one actually broke the lock on the pantry, like his fucking $109 a night bought him access to anything he wanted to eat at any hour. He wouldn’t ask for what he wanted. He just stole. Had to cut his vacation short with a tummy ache.
Sep 3, 2008 at 6:14 pm rating: 0
#68
Grourenurgine
Other variant is possible also
Oct 31, 2009 at 7:32 am rating: 0
#69
Brigitte
I think the best part of this series is that each of these people found their lunch to be stolen and proceeded to turn around, go back to their desk, and use company equipment and time to type up these fancy signs, talking about how angry they are that someone would take from them.
Are you getting paid to add that groovy gradient to your curvy letters, Hungry? I call that stealing from the company.
Mar 10, 2010 at 9:17 pm rating: 0
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