blame it on coke

December 6th, 2007 · 157 comments

casey from shreveport, louisiana spotted this on the coke machine in the office break room. she clarifies: “henry g.’s comment is in reference to the increase in price, not katie’s wanting more coke zero.”

i'll buy more i promise

meanwhile, breanna in l.a. saw this baffling note in a liquor store on the corner of hollywood and vine. (“did someone pee on it?” she asks.)

2080385541_694b193448.jpg

related: i’d like to buy the world a…gatorade?; um, rene hall?

Tags: coke · group bitchfest · it's not my fault · los angeles · office · raging against the machine · say wha? · shreveport · spelling and grammar police · vending

157 responses so far ↓

  • #1  Wade

    Coke cures incontinence?

    Is there no limit to its power?

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:02 pm   rating: +9  

    • #1.1  Wade

      If this is true, I guess we will be seeing more Coca Cola ads during the nightly news.

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:08 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #1.2  anglophile

      Side effects may cause irritability and the urge to write notes frequently.

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:24 pm   rating: +5  

       
     
  • #2  Wade

    $125 for a damn soda?!?!

    That is BS!

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:05 pm   rating: +8  

    • #2.1  Canthz_B

      $125 per bottle would make me incontinent! :-)

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #2.2  Troy McClure

      “A hundred and twenty five greenbacks??!?!??!”
      Henry yells. “That is a mean tax!
      That’s bullshit!” he rants,
      As I hear, in his pants,
      His sphincter begin to relax.

      Dec 6, 2007 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #3  Canthz_B

    Does warm soda/pop cause incontinence?
    Shouldn’t this sign be on the restroom doors?

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:15 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #4  Olivia

    This much thinking shouldn’t have to go into anything related to soda… my head hurts.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:17 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #5  Canthz_B

    It looks like note #1 has been saved in My Documents. In case the costs rise again they can just handwrite in the new price.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:20 pm   rating: 0  

    • #5.1  anglophile

      Because retyping those whole two sentences with the perfect formating would be really hard!

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:58 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #5.2  Rita

      Hell, deleting the old price in that file (if it’d been typed in) and then typing in the new price would be too hard!

      Dec 8, 2007 at 1:48 am   rating: 0  

       
    • #5.3  Canthz_B

      LOL

      Dec 8, 2007 at 2:54 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #6  Wade

    If you really felt sorry for the incontinent, you would allow them to consume their warm, stolen drinks in the bathroom.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:24 pm   rating: +11  

    • #6.1  Canthz_B

      A “Restrooms for employees only” sign in the same pic would have had me LTMSH! :-)

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:31 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #6.2  Canthz_B

      LTMSH is “Laughing Til My Sides Hurt”, BTW :-D

      Dec 6, 2007 at 10:19 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #6.3  Doug Keaachie

      Well, you certainly wouldn’t want to be ROTFL on THAT floor!

      Dec 8, 2007 at 11:51 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #7  anglophile

    I wonder how badly they mangled “inconvenience” for the spell-checker to replace it with “incontinent”. Off to perform tests….

    Results are in! First try: “inconvinent” comes up as “incontinent”. I’m a little disappointed. I thought I’d have to work a little harder than that.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:26 pm   rating: +11  

    • #7.1  Troy McClure

      Wow, it looks like the spell-checker is looking at the vowels as much as the consonants. How moronic. (Wouldn’t happen in Hebrew, I guess.)

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:44 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #7.2  Wade

      I’m not so sure it was inconvenience.

      More likely, incompetence.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 1:14 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #7.3  park rose

      Means the writer was intending to say, ’sorry for the inconvenient’. Sorry if it has been mentioned before. I am sorry for them, too.

      Dec 8, 2007 at 4:30 am   rating: --1  

       
    • #7.4  Doug Keaachie

      Looks to me like the spell check is obsessed with bowels, not vowels.

      Dec 8, 2007 at 11:54 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #8  Canthz_B

    “Sorry for the incontinent, Depends are sold eight miles up the road!”

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:29 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #9  Rocky

    Oh My God!!!! There is just way too much material here - where to begin, where to end, ooooh, my head is spinning.

    And for some reason have unreasonable urge to pee!

    I’ll leave this one up to you guys, you do it so very, very well.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:30 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #10  Wade

    I don’t think I would buy any shampoo at that convenience store.

    or Snapple.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:39 pm   rating: +1  

    • #10.1  Canthz_B

      So, lemonade is out then? :-)

      Dec 6, 2007 at 9:50 pm   rating: --1  

       
     
  • #11  Canthz_B

    If Coke Company repairs the cooler can we pee in it again?

    –The Incontinent

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:40 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #12  Writer, Rejected

    I think because coke can eat away at rust on metal, it probably has the same effect on the detrusor muscle of the bladder…..hence the incontinence problem. Makes a lot of sense, really.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:50 pm   rating: +4  

     
  • #13  Blame it on Coke | anthro.pophago.us

    […] Blame it on Coke […]

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:54 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #14  raiseyourglass

    LOL! Just DEPENDS on if the coke guy can fix it. pun intended (spell check only works if you know english)

    Dec 6, 2007 at 9:58 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #15  raiseyourglass

    so does this make coke #1 or #2….
    have a coke and a smile….
    time for the pepsi challenge….
    time to do a dew…

    Dec 6, 2007 at 10:05 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #16  Writer, Rejected

    Coke Zero has splenda in it. Have you noticed how freaking crazy people are for those little yellow packets? Always shoveling them into their purses and pockets and asking for it by name. I think there’s really crack crystals in that stuff. No wonder Katie wants more, more, more.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  

    • #16.1  ALA

      Nope. Different mix of the other fake stuff…Diet Coke with Splenda, that’s what you’re thinking of. I kow this because I have a Coke Zero in my left hand while typing with my right @ 6:43 a.m. EST. That said…YOU’LL GET MY COKE ZERO WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HAND.
      Tangent:
      Is Coke Zero called Coke Zed in the UK?

      Dec 7, 2007 at 6:45 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #16.2  Writer, Rejected

      They couldn’t come up with a zippier name than Diet Coke with Splenda? Excuse my misinformation though. So, what the hell is the diff between Coke Zero/Zed and Diet Coke? Come on, they think we’re idiots. Like we’re going to fall for that dumb trick.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 2:24 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #16.3  unholyghost2003

      WR there IS actually a difference. Are you comfortable and ready for some Coke-lore?
      When MOST soda companies were making diet versions they simply took the corn syrup and sugar out and replaced them with “fake sugar.”
      When Coke decided to make a diet version they developed a new, sugar free formula that isn’t just Coke minus the sugar. Diet Coke has a different base syrup. People who are Diet Coke drinkers are FIERCELY loyal to their Diet Coke, prefering it OVER regular Coke, even if they don’t give a damn about calories. Then someone at Coke gets the bright idea “Hey! folks LOVE the Diet Coke syrup formula. They drink it even if they are NOT dieting. What if we do the opposite of what everyone else did in developing their diet versions and replace the fake sugar with corn syrup and real sugar?” and thus New Coke was born. The people REVOLTED. New Coke died. Coke Zero is the diet version engineered the usual way (replacing the syrup and sugar in the Coke Classic formula) Diet Coke still has its seperate fomula.

      Now You Know!

      Dec 7, 2007 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #16.4  mere

      i thought ‘zed’ was the way to say ‘z’ (’zeee’), and not zero.
      i may be wrong.
      either way ‘diet coke with splenda’ was a great pr/marketing move.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 2:45 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #16.5  mamason

      Wow! You know waaay too much about Coke! :-)

      Dec 7, 2007 at 3:13 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #16.6  unholyghost2003

      My Dad is a Coke aficionado and collector … it has just seeped into my brain.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 3:18 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #16.7  Writer, Rejected

      Wow. I feel very edumacated coca-colaly speaking. Thanks for the lesson. I still think they should ixnay on all the different versions, though. It’s confusing and annoying.

      I do remember when they introduced both Diet Coke for the first time and then New Coke some years later. One was such a phenomenal advertising success; the other was as phenomenally a failure.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 3:44 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #16.8  Wade

      Bubble Boy is all about Coke Zero, lol.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3QZ6xKQVD0

      Dec 7, 2007 at 7:26 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #17  raiseyourglass

    note 1- two questions.
    1. $1.25 for canned soda I agree that’s B.S. I’d strike.
    2. Do they even make coke zero still?

    Dec 6, 2007 at 10:13 pm   rating: +1  

    • #17.1  Wade

      I looked at the original photo. If there is a decimal point, I can’t see it. Maybe it is under the loop of the 2.

      Dec 6, 2007 at 10:16 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #17.2  Canthz_B

      $125 would be about right for a bottled soda. Inflation sucks! :-)
      W.I.N. buttons for everyone!

      Dec 6, 2007 at 10:33 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #17.3  ALA

      1. I’ve been boycotting the $1.25 machines here on campus all semester - not only are bottles $1.25, but they raised cans to 75 cents. Utter nonsense, I tell you!!
      2. Not only do they still make the Coke Zero, some Wendy’s franchises are adding it to their drink options–for the greater good (my greater good at least).

      Dec 7, 2007 at 8:18 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.4  amy d

      Wade, I looked also. I looked at the original photo (largest size). It’s blurry, but I do think I spy a decimal point.

      Sign #1 is from my state, woo hoo! Southerners are extremely P-A, so I’m proud to see my state REPRESENT!

      Dec 7, 2007 at 9:49 am   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #18  WanderingPenguin

    I don’t see anywhere on that first note where it indicates that that’s the price for one drink. Between that and the mangled grammar (”…the price of drinks have gone up…”) I am going to assume that $125 will buy you that whole machine and all the drinks in it.

    Seems like rather a bargain to me. Unless that machine dispenses warm soda, in which case you will blow all your profits on Depends.

    Dec 6, 2007 at 11:00 pm   rating: +5  

     
  • #19  mamason

    So the price of drinks has gone up due the rising cost of… ummm… drinks?
    This message brought to you by the joint efforts of the Department of Redundancy Department and the American Society For Obvious Statements of America.

    Dec 7, 2007 at 12:09 am   rating: +13  

    • #19.1  SilverIris

      The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition is working diligently to stamp out, abolish, eradicate, and remove this kind of egregious redundancy, which is evidenced in the aforementioned sign and ought to be reworded or removed because it is unnecessarily redundant and that it exactly the kind of thing we are looking to eliminate.

      Dec 8, 2007 at 1:19 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #19.2  mamason

      Beautiful! Just beautiful!
      *dabs tear from eye*

      Dec 8, 2007 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #20  mamason

    I think it’s lovely that the proprietors of this fine establishment feel such compassion for the incontinent that they post it publicly.

    Dec 7, 2007 at 12:12 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #21  Rain

    Anglophile is right. It doesn’t take much to get “inconvenience” spell-checked to “incontinent.” I’ve seen documents in the past (from my fearless leaders, of course!) with the same error.

    And to raiseyourglass, I just got a coupon at the grocery store checkout for a free Coke Zero. I hate the taste of Splenda more than Aspartame, however, and strongly prefer Tab for that incomparable saccharin taste!

    Dec 7, 2007 at 12:32 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #22  Reality

    the way that the SORRY is written in red makes you wonder if they really do feel bad for all the incontinent……I wonder if they have ever changed a diaper. Or even worse took 80 year old out for soda? eeeewwww “But Mom there is no public bathroom, I am driving as fast as I can.” :x

    Dec 7, 2007 at 12:40 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #23  mamason

    Do you mean to tell me that if those bastards at Coca-Cola would just fix that damn cooler, then I would be able to stop pissing my pants?

    Dec 7, 2007 at 12:50 am   rating: 0  

    • #23.1  GhostWriter

      You might be able to, but would you want to?

      Dec 7, 2007 at 5:46 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #24  mamason

    Hey! Who do I have to blow to get “Word!”?

    Dec 7, 2007 at 12:56 am   rating: --3  

    • #24.1  Canthz_B

      ME!! hee hee :-D

      Unitard. :-(

      Dec 7, 2007 at 1:11 am   rating: --2  

       
    • #24.2  GhostWriter

      Wear it proud, Canthz- most forget the meaningful anagram, “You are Untruth’s wet maid” and the responsibilities that come with the uniform.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #24.3  mamason

      Damn! I get a -3 rating for this? Come on! That was funny! And CB gets a
      -2 for responding?
      Tough room.
      Blow me! 8-)

      Dec 7, 2007 at 11:51 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #24.4  unholyghost2003

      Not that I would ever doubt the wisdom of the PAN Goddess nor am I ungrateful for my Word! repeat … but yeah, I don’t know mamason. Perhaps make an offering directly to the PAN Goddess?

      Dec 7, 2007 at 12:03 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #24.5  amy d

      Trying to teach us how to whistle Mamason? I think that the nobility alone should warrant positive ratings.

      All hail Mamason!

      Dec 7, 2007 at 12:03 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #24.6  mamason

      Amy- You are so cheeky! :-P

      Uhg- I was trying to be coy. ;-)

      Dec 7, 2007 at 12:13 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #24.7  unholyghost2003

      No offense, but I doubt that PAN Goddess wants you to blow her. Maybe your could… stop right there.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 12:23 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #24.8  Writer, Rejected

      Don’t be heterosexist. We don’t know.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 2:27 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #24.9  unholyghost2003

      I thought We DID know that Pan Goddess is a she? I am only saying that BLOW is the wrong term for a similar act that can be performed on a female.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 2:34 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #24.10  Writer, Rejected

      No, I meant….maybe she’s a lesbian. Heterosexist is when you think everyone is heterosexual, dude. Maybe she would want to get blown by a woman. There’s nothing wrong with that…we should make everyone feel welcome, especially the goddess.

      Dec 7, 2007 at 3:46 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #24.11  unholyghost2003

      WR,
      I know … I was saying that you don’t blow women, you eat them. But I was trying to keep it PG 13

      Dec 7, 2007 at 3:53 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #24.12  mamason

      I, the least favored one, humbly submit that the conversations sparked by inane ramblings are…
      FUCKING DELICIOUS!! :-P

      Dec 7, 2007 at 4:05 pm   rating: --1  

       
    • #24.13  GVI

      :|

      Dec 7, 2007 at 4:16 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #24.14  Writer, Rejected

      I suppose if you had to say something was fucking delicious after Unholyghost’s remark, you did a fine job of choosing carefully. :-)

      Dec 8, 2007 at 9:49 am   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #25  Canthz_B

    What sadistic evil genius is in the business of selling liquor to the incontinent and expressing sympathy for them at the same time?

    Dec 7, 2007 at 1:10 am   rating: +1  

    • #25.1  Canthz_B

      And on the corner of Hollywood and Vine to boot!! LOL

      Dec 7, 2007 at 1:24 am   rating: 0