individual cheese pizza with chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese plus a side salad: $6.31. addressing your note “to whom it may concern” when you only have one roommate? (you know the rest.)
(thanks to todd in stillwater, oklahoma for snapping the photo.)
related: you left evidence
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
79 responses so far ↓
#1 johnnypeepers
Cry-baby trick - get over it. I got money to pay for my own, but I don’t feel like waiting. You better learn to deal or you will face a brutal introduction to my jack-boot.
Dec 9, 2007 at 5:51 pm rating: --8
#2 goose
Sounds like maybe Hideaway’s pickup service is responsible for the missing pizza.
“Hi, is this Hideaway? Yeah, I’d like to arrange a pizza pickup. It’s a small Kahuna, half eaten - I’ll have it ready to go at 6pm. Kthxbye”
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:03 pm rating: +3
#3 Canthz_B
Why would Hideaway pick-up orders?
Is the food that bad?
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:05 pm rating: +1
#4 Inga
I have yet to see a pizza place that picks up orders. Yeah, I’m talking to YOU, Towhomitmayconcern. You’d better get to making a pizza from the 1980’s pronto, before the delivery guy gets here to pick it up.
The “To Whom” is very funny, in a one-roommate situation, but the signature is priceless. Just in case your gaping maw has somehow disabled your brain, this is from your roommate “H.C.” Holy Christ.
Sun-dried deficiency syndrome. Thousands of people a year succomb.
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:09 pm rating: +2
#5 Canthz_B
I wonder if it was a smiley face pizza like the chocolate pancakes at I.H.O.P.
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:15 pm rating: +2
#6 todd
YES! my note finally made it to the page!
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:15 pm rating: 0
#7 Wade
What does “I know you enjoyed my little kahuna” have to do with pizza?
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:18 pm rating: +5
#8 Canthz_B
I remember Wednesday as Prince Spaghetti Night but never knew it was also Kahuna Pizza Lunch Day.
Live and learn.
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:20 pm rating: 0
#9 SilverIris
Brilliant. The refusal to use her roommates name, the opening please and closing thank you, the two smiley faces, the emphatic underlining, the strange alternation between upper and lower case letters, and the “helpful” information on how to procure another pizza - this is a fully-loaded PAN offering!
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:24 pm rating: +3
#10 Canthz_B
The last two lines sound like something found on a Men’s Room wall.
“So if you are tempted…”
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:33 pm rating: 0
#11 Wade
Just to be clear.
I assume the note on the pizza box is a pre-emptive strike, to prevent pizza-pilfering that has been experienced previously.
September 10 was a Monday. Why would you order a mini-pizza then and save it until Wednesday to eat?
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:39 pm rating: +1
#12 amazon
Way to make me hungry, SilverIris! Mmmm… fully-loaded PAN pizza…
Dec 9, 2007 at 6:45 pm rating: +3
#13 Olrun
I would just buy two of everything and jack up the roommates rent to make up the differance of the stolen food.
That way it’s win win and everyones happy…..I think.
Anyway…..
Dec 9, 2007 at 7:00 pm rating: +2
#14 Troy McClure
How Cheap Is Your Lunch, not by the Bee Gees. (This is in honour of my brother-in-law, who introduced me to the joy of substituting “lunch” for “love” in song lyrics.)
I know it isn’t always so much fun
Buying your own lunch in the pouring rain
But you don’t have to wander far, you see,
They’ll deliver, while at home you remain
But you go to the fridge once I’m out, you sleaze,
Then you warm up my lunch
That I paid to receive
And it’s me you damn well owe
How cheap is your lunch
How cheap is your lunch, how cheap is your lunch
(I really mean my lunch)
‘Cause six thirty-one ain’t much you fool
Please get your own
Because you should let mine be
It belongs, you see, to me
I believe it was you
We locked the door, but yet someone stole;
You’re the cause of my deepest darkest hour
Did you savour it, do you recall?
And you may not think stealing food is taboo
But my pizza’s inside the stomach of you
And it’s me you damn well owe
How cheap is your lunch
Dec 9, 2007 at 8:22 pm rating: +7
#15 lola
I’m surprised she didn’t break out the appetizer and drink specials for the night. How puckered is her butthole?! RE-TEN-TIVE
Dec 9, 2007 at 8:36 pm rating: --1
#16 Canthz_B
This pizza I pray you won’t touch.
Though I know how you like to munch.
I know that it is Wednesday eve,
And not much did I leave,
But I’m saving these slices for lunch.
Dec 9, 2007 at 8:40 pm rating: 0
#17 Troy McClure
The single-letter capitalisation is very random. She doesn’t do “d” at all, and randomly substitutes “R” for “r” and “H” for “h”. Oh no, hang on, she’s got “d” at the start of “deliver”. And, if I may play dumb for a moment, what’s with the random “ü”s and the backwards “þ”?
Dec 9, 2007 at 8:53 pm rating: +1
#18 Karen
I wonder if Hideaway has that “Under 30 minutes or it’s free” deal. I’m sooo hungry.
Dec 9, 2007 at 8:58 pm rating: +1
#19 Karen
When I read through this note really fast, I see “…enjoyed my little vagina…”. PLEASE tell me it’s not just me !!
aaaack
Dec 9, 2007 at 9:03 pm rating: +2
#20 Tanyetta
Whatever happened to: You ate my pizza, pay up beaatch!
Dec 9, 2007 at 9:06 pm rating: --1
#21 Pdog
Kiss and make up. Pizza is a if you got it? Im gonna eat it. Real simple.
Dec 9, 2007 at 9:28 pm rating: --2
#22 saisei
That little Kahuna was fucking delicious.
Dec 9, 2007 at 9:50 pm rating: --9
#23 Amy Campbell
THERE it is. I’ve been waiting, saisei…
Dec 9, 2007 at 9:55 pm rating: --3
#24 Lurker
CHOICE OF DRESSING?!? Sign me up!
Dec 9, 2007 at 10:02 pm rating: +1
#25 Writer, Rejected
The Hideaway Chomper strikes again. I love a note on a pizza box referencing someone’s delicious Kahuna. I think Lady Smiley-Face gets an A+ for creativity and a B+ for passive aggression: referencing price with cheerful how-to suggestions followed up with an all-caps “GET YOUR OWN.” Priceless. Nice job, HC. Nice job, Todd.
p.s. Cheese, chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese all on one doughy crust is overkill and makes me want to hurl.
Dec 9, 2007 at 10:17 pm rating: +3
#26 Shelly
have you checked with the custodians? where i teach, it’s ALWAYS the custodians who have eaten the left overs. they have no pride. heck, they’ve been known to go into a room where the teachers are having a pot luck (when the teachers are in conferences) and raid the eats. they keep junk food in the cupboard in the STAFF lounge. do we eat their food? heck, no. so why don’t they respect ours??
Dec 9, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: --1
#27 Jesse
god, if someone ate my hideaway id be pissed too! Best pizza in tulsa. Good place to buy pot too!
Dec 10, 2007 at 12:47 am rating: +1
#28 Sparkles
Perhaps she is a habitual fridge clutterer?
I had a housemate who insisted on saving everything left over from a delivery meal including the boiled rice. She would then leave it to rot. Every time.
Although there was a degree of peril involved I gradually started to use this untapped resource as weekend late night eats if I happened to roll in drunk and hungry. The food was never missed.
Dec 10, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: +5
#29 Khak
I like that it’s dated (9/10/07) in order to differentiate it from other notes addressing this same situation. Good idea to keep a paper trail.
Dec 10, 2007 at 10:37 am rating: +5
#30 Juliet
What I like about this note are the very specific instructions for Todd on how to get his own pizza (and salad with choice of dressing, of course). If the notewriter gives specific instructions on how Todd can get his own, then Todd has no excuse for eating her leftovers.
Where this backfires is that no one needs an excuse for eating someone’s leftovers, at least, any excuse except for “I really really wanted to” will sound lame.
Some grad student out there needs to do a Master’s Thesis on the whole food dynamic between roommates.
Dec 10, 2007 at 11:15 am