Get your own :)

December 9th, 2007 · 82 comments

Individual cheese pizza with chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese plus a side salad: $6.31. Addressing your note “to whom it may concern” when you only have one roommate? (You know the rest.)

get your own :)

(Thanks to Todd in Stillwater, Oklahoma for snapping the photo.)

related: you left evidence

FILED UNDER: college life · excessive underlining · Oklahoma · pizza · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates · smiley


82 responses so far ↓

  • #1   johnnypeepers

    Cry-baby trick – get over it. I got money to pay for my own, but I don’t feel like waiting. You better learn to deal or you will face a brutal introduction to my jack-boot.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Joe Nike

      Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,

      For you, Patience is a virgin.

      A sack of you would fertilize my tomatoes nicely.

      You sound psychotic, naming your shoes. Lay off the heroin, amyl nitrate, and fen-fen.

      U Sux.

      Jan 4, 2008 at 9:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   goose

    Sounds like maybe Hideaway’s pickup service is responsible for the missing pizza.

    “Hi, is this Hideaway? Yeah, I’d like to arrange a pizza pickup. It’s a small Kahuna, half eaten – I’ll have it ready to go at 6pm. Kthxbye”

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:03 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Why would Hideaway pick-up orders?
    Is the food that bad?

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   jen

      hideaway actually.. rocks. i went there once!

      Oct 17, 2009 at 1:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Inga bang

    I have yet to see a pizza place that picks up orders. Yeah, I’m talking to YOU, Towhomitmayconcern. You’d better get to making a pizza from the 1980′s pronto, before the delivery guy gets here to pick it up.

    The “To Whom” is very funny, in a one-roommate situation, but the signature is priceless. Just in case your gaping maw has somehow disabled your brain, this is from your roommate “H.C.” Holy Christ.

    Sun-dried deficiency syndrome. Thousands of people a year succomb.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    I wonder if it was a smiley face pizza like the chocolate pancakes at I.H.O.P.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   todd

    YES! my note finally made it to the page!

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   GhostWriter bang

      …so what is the rest of the story?
      Did you eat her Kahuna again on Wednesday, leave $6.31 in the empty box, and keep telling her, “…but I thought that’s what you meant!?!”

      Dec 10, 2007 at 12:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Wade bang

    What does “I know you enjoyed my little kahuna” have to do with pizza?
    ;)

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:18 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   todd

      the Little Kahuna is a signature pizza they offer. it’s delicious.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Wade bang

      Ohhhhh, I thought you meant…, er, never mind.

      :D

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      Guess what dresses the salad!!! eewwww

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Inga bang

      I’m sorry, but if anyone uses the phrase, “I know you enjoyed my Little Kahuna” – no matter the context – she is BEGGING for love, Toddtowhomitmayconcern.

      Aw, you do love her, despite her P/A difficulties. Admit it, now. C’mon.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   todd

      hahahaha. you guys are vicious.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Sparkles bang

      Perhaps as a an alternate deterrent to licking, spitting or sneezing on her/his food, HC rubs it with his/her ‘little kahuna’?

      Dec 10, 2007 at 12:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Troy McClure bang

      Sparkles, in that case, I think Kite knows someone who might like to meet her.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 1:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   GezD bang

      I could go for a “little kahuna”. Hold the cheese.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 1:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   mamason bang

      Personally, I have always preferred the “BIG kahuna”!

      Dec 10, 2007 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   Sherry

      They do have a Big Kahuna. It is special order. ; )

      Dec 11, 2007 at 12:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    I remember Wednesday as Prince Spaghetti Night but never knew it was also Kahuna Pizza Lunch Day.
    Live and learn.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Rocky

      No, no…TUESDAY is Prince Spaghetti Night!
      Wednesday is Eat My Little Kahuna Day…..

      (would you really be bragging “little”?)

      I believe I have finally disgusted myself…not an easy feat, I might add.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 11:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   SilverIris bang

    Brilliant. The refusal to use her roommates name, the opening please and closing thank you, the two smiley faces, the emphatic underlining, the strange alternation between upper and lower case letters, and the “helpful” information on how to procure another pizza – this is a fully-loaded PAN offering!

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    The last two lines sound like something found on a Men’s Room wall.
    “So if you are tempted…”

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Patrick B...

      tempted… I called 504-372-4777…They tried to brow beat me over the phone…I succumed to the pressure and did not eat the lil Kahuna…I am still going to call every time I get hungry!!!

      Dec 10, 2007 at 10:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Wade bang

    Just to be clear.

    I assume the note on the pizza box is a pre-emptive strike, to prevent pizza-pilfering that has been experienced previously.

    September 10 was a Monday. Why would you order a mini-pizza then and save it until Wednesday to eat?

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   GVI bang

      Guess he didn’t know of the “overnight rule” which states; Any leftovers in the fridge or kitchen area, may be eaten from once left more than 24 hrs.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      But wouldn’t it hold up better for two days in a clear Ziploc brand plastic storage bag?

      Dec 9, 2007 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Karen bang

      Wade, I love that you checked your calendar before writing your comment. You totally beat me to it.

      Pizza AND salad for $ 6.31 ? Great price, but not quite enough to get me to Oklahoma !

      It’s not pefectly clear, but are we assuming Todd is the roommate ? And the note writer is definitely female. Not sure what this has to do with anything, just thinking…

      Dec 9, 2007 at 8:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   goose

      Totally, Karen – I know Todd enjoyed my Little Kahuna!

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   amazon bang

    Way to make me hungry, SilverIris! Mmmm… fully-loaded PAN pizza…

    Dec 9, 2007 at 6:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Olrun bang

    I would just buy two of everything and jack up the roommates rent to make up the differance of the stolen food.
    That way it’s win win and everyones happy…..I think.
    Anyway…..

    Dec 9, 2007 at 7:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Troy McClure bang

    How Cheap Is Your Lunch, not by the Bee Gees. (This is in honour of my brother-in-law, who introduced me to the joy of substituting “lunch” for “love” in song lyrics.)

    I know it isn’t always so much fun
    Buying your own lunch in the pouring rain
    But you don’t have to wander far, you see,
    They’ll deliver, while at home you remain
    But you go to the fridge once I’m out, you sleaze,
    Then you warm up my lunch
    That I paid to receive
    And it’s me you damn well owe
    How cheap is your lunch

    How cheap is your lunch, how cheap is your lunch
    (I really mean my lunch)
    ‘Cause six thirty-one ain’t much you fool
    Please get your own
    Because you should let mine be
    It belongs, you see, to me

    I believe it was you
    We locked the door, but yet someone stole;
    You’re the cause of my deepest darkest hour
    Did you savour it, do you recall?
    And you may not think stealing food is taboo
    But my pizza’s inside the stomach of you
    And it’s me you damn well owe
    How cheap is your lunch

    Dec 9, 2007 at 8:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Amy Campbell

      I would pay good money for a Troy McClure Greatest Hits CD. This is one of my favorite parts of PAN.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Troy McClure bang

      Amy, you’re so sweet. My stepson has agreed to claymate my Anthony & Rene tune if I record it, but so far no action from either of us….

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Amy Campbell

      Oh, man. One, that was a hell of a bunch of crazy notes. Two, that was the best of the bunch of the parodies.

      Wow, in both cases.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   lola bang

      troy, is that you going through and giving everyone negative comments? *wink wink* I know you’ve got a fragile ego, but c’mon… you know we love you already – do you NEED to be the only green comment?

      Dec 10, 2007 at 10:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Juliet bang

      I don’t care who gives me negative feedback, I want to hear the Rene Hall and Anthony song!

      I would too love a Troy McClure Greatest Hits CD.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 11:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Troy McClure bang

      Thanks Juliet! It’s definitely on my to-do list.

      Lola, no way! I only give negative karma to the “fucking delicious” joke. And even then I feel guilty.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 6:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   lola bang

    I’m surprised she didn’t break out the appetizer and drink specials for the night. How puckered is her butthole?! RE-TEN-TIVE

    Dec 9, 2007 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    This pizza I pray you won’t touch.
    Though I know how you like to munch.
    I know that it is Wednesday eve,
    And not much did I leave,
    But I’m saving these slices for lunch.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 8:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Troy McClure bang

    The single-letter capitalisation is very random. She doesn’t do “d” at all, and randomly substitutes “R” for “r” and “H” for “h”. Oh no, hang on, she’s got “d” at the start of “deliver”. And, if I may play dumb for a moment, what’s with the random “ü”s and the backwards “þ”?

    Dec 9, 2007 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   anglophile bang

      Someone’s been having fun with his character map! ;)

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Troy McClure bang

      þú vita ég nýt það, AΦ!

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Wade bang

      I wonder if Beowulf would enjoy a little kahuna.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Patty O. Furniture

      How long do you think she had to train herself in order to write the random capitals?

      Dec 10, 2007 at 9:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Karen bang

    I wonder if Hideaway has that “Under 30 minutes or it’s free” deal. I’m sooo hungry.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 8:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Karen bang

    When I read through this note really fast, I see “…enjoyed my little vagina…”. PLEASE tell me it’s not just me !!

    aaaack

    ;-)

    Dec 9, 2007 at 9:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Pdog

      wow

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Juliet bang

      It’s not just you.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 11:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Andy bang

      Yikes! I always thought tacos were used in such euphemisms, not pizzas. :D

      Dec 10, 2007 at 6:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Tanyetta

    Whatever happened to: You ate my pizza, pay up beaatch! ;)

    Dec 9, 2007 at 9:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Pdog

    Kiss and make up. Pizza is a if you got it? Im gonna eat it. Real simple.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 9:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   saisei bang

    That little Kahuna was fucking delicious.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Amy Campbell

    THERE it is. I’ve been waiting, saisei…

    Dec 9, 2007 at 9:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   saisei bang

      …couldn’t resist.

      Am I the only one who’s picturing a potential Sharpie commercial here? (screen shows the chick writing out her passionate pizza plea….she then gives up, scribbles it out…and scrawls:

      DON’T TOUCH MY FUCKING PIZZA!)

      maybe still include a smiley face.

      Dec 9, 2007 at 9:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Lurker

    CHOICE OF DRESSING?!? Sign me up!

    Dec 9, 2007 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Writer, Rejected

    The Hideaway Chomper strikes again. I love a note on a pizza box referencing someone’s delicious Kahuna. I think Lady Smiley-Face gets an A+ for creativity and a B+ for passive aggression: referencing price with cheerful how-to suggestions followed up with an all-caps “GET YOUR OWN.” Priceless. Nice job, HC. Nice job, Todd.

    p.s. Cheese, chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese all on one doughy crust is overkill and makes me want to hurl.

    Dec 9, 2007 at 10:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Andy bang

      You know, “Little Kahuna” implies a Hawaiian flair. You know, spam, pineapple, poi…

      Also, not only ending with the “GET YOUR OWN”, but punctuating it with yet another smiley face. That’s what sets this box-note from the rest.

      Dec 10, 2007 at 6:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Shelly

    have you checked with the custodians? where i teach, it’s ALWAYS the custodians who have eaten the left overs. they have no pride. heck, they’ve been known to go into a room where the teachers are having a pot luck (when the teachers are in conferences) and raid the eats. they keep junk food in the cupboard in the STAFF lounge. do we eat their food? heck, no. so why don’t they respect ours??

    Dec 9, 2007 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      Up here we refer to “custodians” who come into your private domicile as “maids”. Must be a cultural thing. ;)

      Dec 10, 2007 at 9:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Rocky

      No, custodians, as in: It is my job to take custody of your food…..

      Dec 10, 2007 at 11:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Jesse

    god, if someone ate my hideaway id be pissed too! Best pizza in tulsa. Good place to buy pot too!

    Dec 10, 2007 at 12:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   GezD bang

      allegedly

      Dec 10, 2007 at 4:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Troy McClure bang

      “My Hideaway Id”—wasn’t someone collecting band names?

      Dec 10, 2007 at 6:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Sparkles bang

    Perhaps she is a habitual fridge clutterer?

    I had a housemate who insisted on saving everything left over from a delivery meal including the boiled rice. She would then leave it to rot. Every time.

    Although there was a degree of peril involved I gradually started to use this untapped resource as weekend late night eats if I happened to roll in drunk and hungry. The food was never missed.

    Dec 10, 2007 at 1:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      I think the fact that she put a date on the note is STRONG evidence you are correct in your “habitual fridge clutterer” theory

      Dec 10, 2007 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Khak

    I like that it’s dated (9/10/07) in order to differentiate it from other notes addressing this same situation. Good idea to keep a paper trail.

    Dec 10, 2007 at 10:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Juliet bang

    What I like about this note are the very specific instructions for Todd on how to get his own pizza (and salad with choice of dressing, of course). If the notewriter gives specific instructions on how Todd can get his own, then Todd has no excuse for eating her leftovers.

    Where this backfires is that no one needs an excuse for eating someone’s leftovers, at least, any excuse except for “I really really wanted to” will sound lame.

    Some grad student out there needs to do a Master’s Thesis on the whole food dynamic between roommates.

    Dec 10, 2007 at 11:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   phil

    you should notice how the pen weight increases in the run of the note…. :)

    Dec 10, 2007 at 11:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   GhostWriter bang

    (with apologies to England Dan…)

    To whom, yeah, it may concern,
    Don’t munch, on my food.
    I’m not sure why you stole-
    Is my Kahuna just tryin’ to talk to you?

    …and I was thinking maybe Wednesday noon,
    you could get your own pan for a change.
    They cost such a small, small price,
    with a salad and dressing contained.

    My Kahuna’s such a little one
    and I don’t want to share my pie,
    but here’s a number for ya, to get your own.
    Man, you’ll really love the pizza , enjoy!

    Dec 10, 2007 at 12:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Juliet bang

      Who is England Dan? What is the context?

      Dec 10, 2007 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Amy Campbell

      Why, Juliet. Surely you know of the hitmaking duo of the 70s, England Dan and John Ford Coley? This is a parody (and a pretty danged good one!) of “Really Love to See You Tonight”

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ab1FoEElkI

      Dec 10, 2007 at 10:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Wade bang

      England Dan Seals…

      Brother of Jim Seals of Seals & Croft…

      Who were in 1978 bomb “Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” with Steve Martin…

      Who was in the 2001 movie Novocaine with…

      Kevin Bacon

      Dec 10, 2007 at 10:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Andy bang

    Oh dear. This is so passive, it essentially dares me to consume said leftover pizza. The smiley faces which are a lame subsitute for uncomfortable giggling, the notification that you can actually purchase said pizza (along with your choice of salad dressing!

    Add to the fact that there is but one roomie, so the “To Whom It May Concern” and the initials just make my skin crawl.

    The date, also, puts it over the top. That pizza would be in my belly faster than you could say, “Thanks Terry!”

    Dec 10, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Willow

    I like how she included all of the smilies. It’s like the psychotic angry person-they keep smiling creepily while yelling at you…

    Dec 11, 2007 at 12:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Lurker

    “P.S. Your mother does not work at Hideaway.”

    Dec 11, 2007 at 10:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Natalee

    Eh, I personally think Hideaway pizza is overrated. Everyone here in OK talks about how great it is, but I’ve had better from Papa John’s. But, I guess for $6, it’s worth the price. Definitely not worth having a snit fit over.

    Dec 11, 2007 at 3:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   machead

    wowzers, that pizza box note should go into the PAN hall of fame. Truly a classic, well done nutbar!

    Dec 11, 2007 at 6:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Suzie

    This one is wayyy too awesome — just had to say that. The “To Whom It May Concern” is classic. :)

    Dec 12, 2007 at 11:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   fuhuck

    A better approach is to wait till they’re sleeping and gut-kick them.

    Fucking immature spongers. But then I always preferred threatening with physical violence. This asshole doesn’t even deserve to be addressed by name. They didn’t go ask their roommate for their food by name.

    Sep 3, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   no, no you can’t

    [...] related: get your own [...]

    Jun 9, 2009 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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