the inimitable jeff rubin passes along this note from the foyer of his park slope apartment building. yup, that’s what you think it is there on the floor. (perhaps a hapless victim of the bag-tampering deliquent?)
jeff says the shit was cleaned up when he checked a few hours later.
meanwhile, elsewhere in brooklyn, confusion still reigns.
related: oh, shit!
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56 responses so far ↓
#1 GVI
Note#1. Classic, I can picture some 24 yr old hippie kid coming out his apartment and upon seeing the turd he remarks Dude, seriously?.
Note #2. Umm according to scientists I am an animal, so you kind of have an error in that sign there.
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:14 am rating: +3
#2 Canthz_B
If my dog has already picked up, what is expected of me?
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:21 am rating: 0
#3 Troy McClure
If you’re not an animal, you’re a plant. I think some psychotropic adventurer left the second note for the tree we see pictured, perhaps after seeing a dog tied to its fence.
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:28 am rating: +2
#4 Canthz_B
After the first sentence, maybe his/her Sharpie was out of exclamation points?
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:31 am rating: +1
#5 Canthz_B
Hey! Poop proliferating person, this was written by the International Twenty Questions Champion of 2004.
Be careful how you answer.
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:40 am rating: 0
#6 Troy McClure
The writer of http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/05/18/what-is-it-about-dog-shit-that-pushes-brooklynites-over-the-edge/ (one of my favourite notes—I especially love comment #4) participated in a twelve-step anger management program. Unfortunately, at the top of the twelfth step was a dog turd. After some deep breaths, a new sign was written, which somehow ended up at street level, and appears in the 2nd photo. You can tell that they’re by the same person because, though the anger (and incongruous nationalism) have been scaled back, the overall note structure remains: starting with a demand to clean up after your dog, the note rapidly descends into baffling and ungrammatical illogic.
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:58 am rating: +2
#7 mamason
Yes. Seriously. That’s some cool shit.
Dec 11, 2007 at 1:07 am rating: +1
#8 Suzi
The one-word passive-aggressive note. I dig it.
Dec 11, 2007 at 1:13 am rating: +3
#9 mamason
“Pick up after your dog”, he said with disgust upon first noticing the pungent turd in desperate need of stirring. As he turned to go, he realized his mistake. With barely a whisper, as he backed away, almost to no one at all he asked, “You’re not an animal?”
Dec 11, 2007 at 1:18 am rating: +1
#10 amazon
Woo hoo! A reason to link to this site: http://sprinklebrigade.com/gallery-main.html
Grossest yet funniest website EVAHR!
Dec 11, 2007 at 1:51 am rating: +1
#11 park rose
In regards to note number 2 (hee-hee): Some John Merrick is called for. Maybe it was he who was so errant in picking up after his dog.
Dec 11, 2007 at 1:52 am rating: +4
#12 Canthz_B
Sorry for the mess. My dog is a little Dorkie!
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/dorkie.htm
Dec 11, 2007 at 2:18 am rating: +1
#13 fussbudget
a handrail? seriously? do you know what kind of disgusting germs get left behind on those things? if yes, for the love of all things holy, take that rail down immediately and put an end to all those grubby handed germ spreaders.
Dec 11, 2007 at 3:31 am rating: 0
#14 fussbudget
also, these folks should just step back and let the universe take care of it. shit karma is real, people. i once forgot to bring a butt bag for my dog (one time in a thousand walks, honest) and she left a chocolate whippy right there on some old guy’s front lawn. THE VERY NEXT DAY I SQUELCHED UPON ANOTHER DOGGY’S DOOKIE DONUT AND IT GOT ALL STUCK UP IN THE CREVICES OF MY SNEAKERS.
shit karma (it’s real).
Dec 11, 2007 at 3:38 am rating: +4
#15 GezD
I like the Ron Burgundy question mark: “you are not an animal?”
I imagine the elevated tone of voice and furrowed brow on that last syllable.
Dec 11, 2007 at 3:40 am rating: +2
#16 Andy
Oh, and thank you for more Park Slope notes. Always appreciated.
Dec 11, 2007 at 5:44 am rating: 0
#17 amy d
Wouldn’t it be funny if the dog owner used the “Seriously?” note to clean up the dog poop and then left it on the doorstep of the note-writer????
Dec 11, 2007 at 9:12 am rating: +3
#18 Lurker
Hey, at least with the question mark he’s giving them the benefit of the doubt. He’s leaving open the possibility that they ARE animals!
Dec 11, 2007 at 10:49 am rating: +1
#19 Wade
Don’t feed your dog bananas.
Seriously.
Dec 11, 2007 at 11:22 am rating: +2
#20 Open English
love the notes that have weird question marks at the end of them… it adds depth to the note.
“are you an animal?”
aren’t we all?
Dec 11, 2007 at 11:28 am rating: +1
#21 pirateywill
i’m not an animal! I’m a cheese log!
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:34 pm rating: +1
#22 Juliet
I would have left note #1 if I’d come across a turd inside the building where I live. I love the word ’seriously’ and it’s been a catch-phrase of mine for years.
On a side note, our cat left a turd on the kitchen floor last night, right in front of the refrigerator. My fiance stepped over it several times while eating breakfast/making lunch/getting and replacing stuff from the fridge.
He was up before me… I found it on the floor after he left and it took me less than 30 seconds to clean up. Thirty seconds.
Seriously, it isn’t hard, turd-leavers of the world! Team Clean Up The Poo!
Dec 11, 2007 at 12:53 pm rating: +5
#23 GhostWriter
Somebody needs to lay down a Monster Log (I believe the term was “triple-coiler” from a previous note) and add the note, “Serious as a Heart Attack!”
Dec 11, 2007 at 1:18 pm rating: +5
#24 Wade
Are we sure that is canine feces?
Perhaps the mad bomber, shamed out of public restrooms everywhere by a barrage of P-A notes, felt compelled to, er, “unburden” out in the open.
Seriously.
Dec 11, 2007 at 2:30 pm rating: +4
#25 Katie
First photo: Looks like a rat turd to me. Am I the only one who thinks that??
Dec 11, 2007 at 2:46 pm rating: +1
#26 Olrun
OH SHIT !!!!
( Sorry, didn’t see that anyone else had posted that, had to do it. )
Dec 11, 2007 at 4:07 pm rating: +1
#27 Quite Contrary
Turns out the shit was picked up only because someone had put it on their “Secret Santa Wish List.”
Dec 11, 2007 at 4:52 pm rating: +2
#28 Jodi Blaze
Note #1: No…it’s one of those specialty joke turds
Note #2: Unless science is wrong, mammals are animals
Dec 11, 2007 at 4:55 pm rating: +1
#29 Olrun
What’s up with the “?” of the spiecies in note #2, as if dog’s are expected to pick up after themselves or if they have dog’s of their own….seriously ?!?
( Ya’ I confused myself with this one…..I don’t care…..)
Dec 11, 2007 at 5:32 pm rating: +2
#30 Canthz_B
Note #2 has crappy punctuation???
Dec 11, 2007 at 5:34 pm rating: +2
#31 Inga
The ONE TIME I leave shit on the stairwell, my elitist, perfectionist, obviously-OCD clean-freak neighbor has to go and get all critical and nasty and weird about it. Where’s my feedback for all the times I haven’t left shit on the stairwell? Where’s my “I appreciate the shitless stairwell, seriously!” sign?
” . . . jeff says the shit was cleaned up when he checked a few hours later.” (This gives me the image of Jeff periodically checking on the shit. How many times did Jeff check? Did he call into work that day, “Mmm. Sorry; not gonna make it. Shit in the stairwell’s gotta be watched. Mm-hmm. In fact, I better get back to the shit-checking. Alrighty. You too.” - ??)
Dec 11, 2007 at 7:28 pm rating: +6
#32 saisei
“You are not an animal?”
My mama told me I could be anything I wanted.
*sniff* *offended*.
Dec 11, 2007 at 8:50 pm rating: 0
#33 Pand0raWilde
At least it wasn’t written net speak style, a la “Srsly?”
Dec 11, 2007 at 9:16 pm rating: 0
#34 Rocky
OK - WTF happened here? Are we redecorating? You can’t add thread comment capability
and then reshuffle the comments ignoring the threads, there is no way to know who is talking about what…..
Never mind the .02 point font…..
I…..can’t……..see…..!!!
Or am I hallucinating? (cool!) Or is my Mac hallucinating? Wouldn’t be the first time!
OK, at least editing is still a feature…….
Dec 11, 2007 at 10:06 pm rating: +1
#35 Crash
CAN ANYONE SEE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dec 11, 2007 at 10:08 pm rating: +1
#36 Writer, Rejected
There is definitely a prob here. And it ain’t shit in the hallway.
Dec 11, 2007 at 11:14 pm rating: 0
#37 HS
mamason- your comment made me spit toothpaste onto my monitor!
Dec 11, 2007 at 11:16 pm rating: 0
#38 Blindman
Sorry folks, I don’t see the shit. Poor photography.
Dec 11, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: +1
#39 Crash
Huh ??? What, I can’t see you….
Dec 11, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: +1
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