our anonymous submitter saw this note posted on the door to the walk-in cooler at a convenience store in boerne, texas. “the clerk told me that the red bull delivery person had been drinking red bull and leaving the empty cans on the floor of the walk-in,” our submitter says. “in her words, ‘he was knockin’ himself off!’”
(the full scene)
related: “if it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”
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103 responses so far ↓
#1 Rice
I hate adio…it distorts my vdeo
Dec 12, 2007 at 9:31 am rating: +9
#2 Joseph R.
It gives you wings.
Dec 12, 2007 at 9:32 am rating: +1
#3 Southern Girl
For the Red Bull Man’s sake, I hope it not only gives you wings, but a “Get out of jail free” card as well.
Dec 12, 2007 at 9:39 am rating: +4
#4 Zoe
…those Red Bulls were fucking delicious.
Dec 12, 2007 at 9:41 am rating: --9
#5 Wade
Somehow the threat of being “prosucuted” doesn’t seem like much of a deterrent.
Dec 12, 2007 at 9:55 am rating: +2
#6 Writer, Rejected
I don’t get it. They put up a note saying they were making video recordings because the delivery guy was leaving his empties? It’s not like he was stealing stuff, or eating/drinking their inventory, right? Well, that’s not passive aggressive. That’s just stupid.
Dec 12, 2007 at 9:59 am rating: +1
#7 JaiJai
ADIO, AOIO… Excuse me?
On another note, I assume Red Bull delivery man isn’t saving them up for when he arrives so he can drink them in the cooler. It’s far more likely he’s got a little parched on his journey and cracked open a can or two in attempt to quench his thirst and get a bit of a caffeine hit. This note suggests there is no problem with just offloading your empty cans in the cooler, so long as you don’t actually consume them once inside.
I would conclude that Red Bull Man has nothing to worry about.
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:00 am rating: 0
#8 Writerrejected
Yeah, Red Bull Man seems pretty safe to me.
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:04 am rating: +1
#9 amy d
Well, this note clearly will not be a deterrent as they neglected to include the All Seeing Eye of Justice.
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:09 am rating: +5
#10 KittyKat
Prosucuted? Is that some kind of new sex thing I don’t know about?
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:12 am rating: +4
#11 DrAstroZoom
“Prosucuted” — being assaulted by prosciutto. And on a side note, you haven’t experienced justice until you’ve been smacked up with dry-cured ham.
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:13 am rating: +5
#12 Rice
Well Kitty, wouldn’t you like to know…
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:15 am rating: 0
#13 Shane
I read it with a comma after Red Bull. As in “We are recording and we don’t want to be disturbed. If you disturb us, there’s no telling what crazy things we might do to you since we are hopped up on Red Bull.”
“Be Careful!!! Red Bull, Man!!!!”
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:18 am rating: +2
#14 Shane
oh and didn’t we put the Kibosh on the “Fuckin’ Delicious” phrase
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: +1
#15 KittyKat
Ignorance is not always bliss!
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 0
#16 acolyte
Zoe, put on the unitard! Now! Now did the writer mean to say “audio” or “adios” or “audio” ?
Well I guess Red Bull Man is happily soaring the skies
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:28 am rating: 0
#17 DrAstroZoom
What if the Red Bull Man is the one who actually left the note? Hmmmmm!
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:31 am rating: +2
#18 talk2ulater
Is it just me, or are everyone’s comments really really small?
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:40 am rating: 0
#19 amy d
@ DAZ: If that is the case, we should lobby for warning labels on Red Bull. “Warning, excessive use of this product may cause bizarre spelling errors.”
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:43 am rating: 0
#20 anglophile
I’m confused. Why are they storing their Red Bull in the recording studio?
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: +1
#21 pirateywill
why is the adio in process anyway? is it like having film developed at the grocery store? at least there I don’t have to worry about being prosucuted, although prostituted is still a concern in my town.
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:47 am rating: +2
#22 chonny
I’m actually very glad someone posted this. It has brought public awareness to the very illegal and prosucute-able offense of eating and drinking. And in a cooler?? You, red bull man, are a monster!
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:47 am rating: +5
#23 Wade
http://www.adiofootwear.com/
Well, as least now we know where the microwave burning skaters moved to.
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:52 am rating: +1
#24 Lurker
So, is he stealing food and drink from the cooler and eating it there? Because the way it’s worded it sounds like the thing they have a problem with is that the food and drink is being consumed within the confines of the cooler, no matter how it got in there and who owns it. Would it be OK if he took food that was in the cooler, brought it out, and ate it in the kitchen? Or are they upset that he brought his own food in and is messing up their nice clean cooler with his spilled coffee and doughnut crumbs?
Dec 12, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 0
#25 unholyghost2003
Ah the PAness. Slogging through the spelling and grammar problems and distilling out the note’s meaning you end up with ‘We are doing our damnedest to catch you in the act of something unspeakable. If caught you will face the harshest penalties possible under the law. So we will warn you and wish you good luck and god speed in avoiding our traps! :)’
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:05 am rating: +3
#26 Bas
Is this a new commercial for red bull?
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:06 am rating: +1
#27 Canthz_B
Audio? Why? Do they expect the Red Bull Man to say, “Well, I guess I’ll eat and drink in the cooler now.”? Maybe they have a retired Navy sonar operator with a headset in the security room at the ready, “Boss! I hear munching in the cooler. No, wait…false alarm, it’s just chewing gum.”
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:10 am rating: +9
#28 Juliet
Spelling errors aside, this note is directed at one person, the ‘Red Bull Man’.
This note gives the false illusion that it could be directed at any number of people who might frequent the cooler at first, but soon they are pointing a finger at the intended culprit. Totally P-A, the note is intended for one person. They can’t just ask him to stop drinking Red Bulls in the cooler? And they’ve gone to all the trouble of setting up a camera (and adio)?
Awesome!
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:13 am rating: +6
#29 reclusivemonkey
Don’t forget - we all need to be “carefull”. If not, we’ll be “prosucuted”.
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: 0
#30 Wade
our submitter says. “in her words, ‘he was knockin’ himself off!’”
So, either he is making cheap copies of himself, or….
ewwww.
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:16 am rating: +5
#31 Canthz_B
“Knockin’ himself off”? Is suicide by Red Bull even a possibility?
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:17 am rating: +1
#32 Karen
But why bother with the note at all ? Isn’t the clerk there when Red Bull Man comes to deliver ? Why not just tell him to stop drinking and leaving empties in the cooler?
Or is the clerk angry that Red Bull Man is not using the recycle bin for his empties?
I love that the clerk said “he was knockin’ himself off”. Interesting way to put it - I get a different kind of picture in my head…..hmmm.
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:19 am rating: +1
#33 SilverIris
The strange and selective use of punctuation boggles the mind. Like, why bother with two periods if you are going to leave out a third necessary period and an entire handful of commas? That’s just lazy. Or stupid. Or both.
Dec 12, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: +2
#34 Willow
I feel sorry for Budweiser. They went to all the trouble of making that huge sign (is it a sign? I can’t tell. According to the note writer, it would be a sing!), and Red Bull is getting all the press!
Dec 12, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: +3
#35 Writer, Rejected
I seriously thought Red Bull Man’s name was Adio. As in “And Adio: Please do not eat or drink your Red Bull in our c