“we really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in washington, d.c., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”
related: perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?
actually, we just hate you
December 13th, 2007 · 98 comments
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Tags: d.c. · e-mail · holiday spirit · money · office · party planning committee · spelling and grammar police
98 responses so far ↓
#1 cheerio
lullzie poo!
“hate” is a wee harsh, dontchya think?
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:17 pm rating: 0
#2 anglophile
I don’t know if Foreign Policy People hate the holidays, but I bet my first born child they hate being called Foreign Policy People!
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:27 pm rating: +4
#3 lola
Foreign Policy people LOVE Christmas! The audacity! The nerve!
It’s other COUNTRIES that Foreign Policy people hate.
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: +5
#4 anglophile
Oh, and the word is hors d’oeuvre. I know using spell check seems like a lot, but it really is a good deal. Or you could just say appetizers.
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: +5
#5 GVI
The Foreign Policy people do not hate the holidays, we enjoy going on trips to foreign lands. We just hate Christmakwanzakkuh.
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:35 pm rating: +7
#6 goose
I’m not paying nuffink if theirs only horse hooves fer eatin!
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:36 pm rating: +3
#7 GVI
Why are the Forign Policy people emiling themselves anyway?
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:36 pm rating: 0
#8 Grimfool
why would we ForPol peeps drop off our money “by” your desk, you vicious rumor-monger? By the way, those hors doeuvres were gentle-caressing delicious.
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:41 pm rating: --1
#9 Guh
How much did it cost?
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:44 pm rating: 0
#10 Canthz_B
“Given the current state of our Foreign Policy, we thought we would just work those hours trying to restore some sanity.
You have fun though. Happy Holidays.”
–The rest of the Foreign Policy People
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:47 pm rating: +1
#11 chonny
I don’t even know if this can be called passive aggressive. I mean, throwing around the “hate” word and justifying the holiday cost with the promise of a hall rental and weenies wrapped in canned dough sounds more like passive threatening. I’m afraid too Foreign Policy People. It sounds like a trick!
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:50 pm rating: 0
#12 Wade
Rumour spreadin’ a-’round in that DC town
’bout Foreign Policy hate
and you know what I’m talkin’ about.
Just let me know if you wanna go
to that room at Watergate.
We gotta lotta nice hors’ ah.
Stop hatin’.
A haw, haw, haw, holiday.
A haw, haw, haw.
Well, it’s sure not free, please RSVP
and fifty to get yourself in.
A hmm, hmm.
And you’ll soon be tight this yuletide night,
with a bar that’s always open.
hmm, hmm, hmm.
Merry Christmas.
Dec 13, 2007 at 10:55 pm rating: +10
#13 Writerrejected
Clearly it was the State Department People who started this xenophobic x-mass rumor. I hate State Department People. They are downright unpatriotic with their anti-holiday lies.
Dec 13, 2007 at 11:00 pm rating: +8
#14 Canthz_B
Dear Iranian Ambassador,
There is a vicious rumor going around that Iran is developing WMD.
I can’t say where it came from or who started it *wink* but the best way to stop it is to just give 25 percent of your oil to AMOCO before the Shock and Awe begins.
You cannot come to our party as you do not approve of booze and we are serving loin of pork.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Foreign Policy Division
US Department of State
Dec 13, 2007 at 11:10 pm rating: +9
#15 Condom Man
LET’S WATERBOARD THEM
Dec 13, 2007 at 11:13 pm rating: +4
#16 saisei
From the note, it looks like a FABULOUS party. .
Sign me up.
Dec 13, 2007 at 11:45 pm rating: +3
#17 TygerAKC
Spread good cheer! And if you don’t come to our party, eat the fruit and cake, sing our song, we’ll also spread the rumor that you have some communicable disease! How do you like that you people from Foreign policy?
Dec 13, 2007 at 11:56 pm rating: +2
#18 cre8tivewmn
I bet the note-writer made up the rumor to try to create some “we’ll show them” team spirit and get more people to pay for the overpriced holiday party she’s planned. Former cheerleader, perhaps?
Dec 14, 2007 at 12:32 am rating: +1
#19 Willow
This seems like a ploy to get Foreign Policy People’s money. We know you don’t hate holidays…but to prove it, give me lots of $$$.
Dec 14, 2007 at 5:28 am rating: +1
#20 Fegbarr
That foreign policy was rather good tasting, I thought.
Dec 14, 2007 at 5:40 am rating: --3
#21 GezD
I like the reverse psychology.
Paraphrase:
“Hey have yo heard that everyone thinks you are all arseholes? No? Well there definitely is such a rumour. You can prove them all wrong by giving me money!
Thanks now. Bye now”
To be fair, foreign policy people are probably arseholes.
Dec 14, 2007 at 7:57 am rating: +3
#22 JPav
There is not enough booze or pigs-in-a-blanket in the world to justify me spending 5 additional hours with my coworkers. A good deal? I think not.
Dec 14, 2007 at 8:33 am rating: +4
#23 Susan
BTW, the best rumors are always the vicious ones!!
Dec 14, 2007 at 9:34 am rating: +1
#24 Lurker
I dunno, I could easily believe that the “rumor has it you hate the holidays” thing was a lame attempt at having a laugh about this whole insane HR 87 “Christmas Bill” and the “War on Christmas.” It’s bound to be a hot topic in Washington, but not every bureaucrat has the wit to pull of a joke about it.
P.S., in my family we prounounce it “Horse’s doovers.”
Dec 14, 2007 at 10:20 am rating: +1
#25 Katzndogz
I used to work for the State Dept in DC, and helped out with the planning of my office’s holiday party. It was amazing the things people would find to bitch about. So I guess Foreign Policy people really do hate the holidays!
Dec 14, 2007 at 10:22 am rating: +1
#26 tragically mep
I’m with Team Holiday Cheer on this one.
Why don’t those Foreign Policy People just RSVP already? Just RSVP your regrets and the happy people will leave you to your grinchy misery.
Dec 14, 2007 at 10:31 am rating: +1
#27 GhostWriter
Woah there- I don’t actually “hate” the Libertarians, but that doesn’t mean I’m joining the Libertarian Party on December 15th.
Why should I follow different rules for the Holiday Party?
Dec 14, 2007 at 10:35 am rating: +4
#28 KittyKat
Maybe they should have sent the invite in a foreign language. Does anyone know how to spell Christmas in Arabic?
Dec 14, 2007 at 10:45 am rating: 0
#29 DrAstroZoom
I’m with Lurker: this isn’t so much passive-aggressiveness as a cutesy attempt at collegiality gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Much like our foreign policy for the last seven years.
Hmmmmm …
Dec 14, 2007 at 10:46 am rating: +2
#30 Mel
Has anyone considered that the Foreign Policy people do hate the holidays?
Dec 14, 2007 at 11:45 am rating: +2
#31 GhostWriter
Come, they told me,
pa-ruppa-pum-pum
the foreign policy
pee-pull-pa-pum-pum
they hate the holidays
pa-ruppa-pum-pum
they don’t attend soirées
pa-ruppa-pum-pum,
ruppa-pum-pum,
ruppa-pum-pum,
So, a rumor spread
pa-ruppa-pum-pum
Christmas they dread.
Don’t remember who,
pa-ruppa-pum-pum
the vicious rumor grew
pee-pull-pa-pum-pum
You now must rise above
pa-ruppa-pum-pum
to show how much you love
pa-ruppa-pum-pum,
ruppa-pum-pum,
ruppa-pum-pum,
Christmas party dress,
pa-ruppa-pum-pum
Pay at my desk.
Dec 14, 2007 at 12:09 pm rating: +9
#32 GhostWriter
sing along!
Bing and Bowie Singing It
Dec 14, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: +1
#33 Juliet
Please keep the song parodies coming! I love them!
Dec 14, 2007 at 2:03 pm rating: +1
#34 Lurker
*throws
rosespoinsettias at GhostWriter*Dec 14, 2007 at 3:04 pm rating: +2
#35 Canthz_B
To a Foreign Policy professional this is what is known as the “Preemptive Strike Doctrine”.
Call them “Holiday Haters” before they have a chance to express hatred!
Dec 14, 2007 at 3:13 pm rating: +3
#36 Writerrejected
Is there a War on Christmas? Damn. We can’t even afford the one we got going in Iraq right now. No wonder everyone hates the Foreign Policy People. I know that I do. I also hate war.
Dec 14, 2007 at 3:42 pm rating: +3
#37 WanderingPenguin
So now the rating system is positive…or nothing at all? Is this just a Christmas thing? Don’t be hatin’ yo it’s Xmastime?
I used to use the rating system as a means to see if I had already read a comment or not. Now even that tool is gone. It gets tougher by the day to read these threads!
Dec 14, 2007 at 3:45 pm rating: +4
#38 WanderingPenguin
Since I’ve had King of the Road stuck in my damn head all day (because of my earlier post) I thought I’d spread the misery around. Enjoy.
Let’s start the holiday, everybody has to pay
No food, no tunes, no booze - if you don’t kick in you lose;
So, please, RSVP real soon, we’ve got 5 hours of the party room
If you ain’t too mean to be seen, bring me your dough!
Just lay some money down: stop that rumour goin’ ’round!