clip art crimes

December 16th, 2007 · 139 comments

which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? you be the judge!

is it this sign, from the virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?

is it this little tea party of a sign from cambridge, mass.?

or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?

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FILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · boston · cell phone · clip art catastrophe · jesus · massachusetts · office · tea · virginia · you be the judge · you're like so going to hell

139 responses so far ↓

#1 Matt

I like how the little animals don’t even pertain to what the note says in the first one.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:04 pm rating: +2

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- #1.1 Wade
  
  Well, that lady bug does look a bit sassy.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 8:07 pm rating: +4
- #1.2 SilverIris
  
  The lady bug has all got her arm-legs on her hips in a “Oh no, you did NOT just answer that phone in here!” kind of way. I wouldn’t mess with that.
  
  On the other hand, that monkey is sort of giving the go-ahead with that wink and grin.
  
  I hate when the clip art animals start giving me mixed messages!
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 3:44 pm rating: +8
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#2 anglophile

Do Not Trash This Bathroom, or an orthodox priest with a hand puppet will bless you???

I wonder how effective that sign is?

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:11 pm rating: +10

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- #2.1 Crash
  
  I love it !!!!
  lol anglo.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 6:25 pm rating: +1
- #2.2 Wade
  
  It is possible that, under the puppet, the priest is secretly, um, cursing you.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 8:09 pm rating: +8
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#3 zenvelo

that last one, why is Osama bin Laden disguised as a bishop?

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:13 pm rating: +8

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- #3.1 Rocky
  
  Too funny zen……..
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 10:28 pm rating: 0
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#4 Andrea

I’m torn. I love the clip art mathematics in #2, but I also love bathroom!priest in #3… they are both great works.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:14 pm rating: +1

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#5 fangelohio

Personally, I like the priest. I mean, come on, who could trash a bathroom without wondering if they’re going to hell for it?

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:21 pm rating: +2

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#6 Crash

The second one works really well if your illiterate.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:21 pm rating: +6

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- #6.1 Jen
  
  I hope that was a deliberate mistake, or it was really fucking ironical. [Heh.]
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 6:44 pm rating: +5
- #6.2 Crash
  
  There,
  an ‘and an *e* for your satisfaction.
  Thankyou grammar police…..
  At least I commented on the note.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 7:32 pm rating: +2
- #6.3 WanderingPenguin
  
  Thank God Jen beat me to it. For once.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 8:11 pm rating: +2
- #6.4 Crash
  
  Ya’, you atleast comment on the note too.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 8:30 pm rating: +1
- #6.5 WanderingPenguin
  
  Oh, I always do, Ol…er, Crash. But I did think that was damn funny, sorry to say.
  
  There’s a tee-shirt on the Busted Tees site (I think, it might be somewhere else) that reads: “Your Retarded”.
  
  I love that shirt.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 8:53 pm rating: +3
- #6.6 Crash
  
  Ummm…..
  I know there is alot lost in translation when it comes to typing……but if that’s an insult aimed towards me WTF did I ever do to you ?
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:00 pm rating: +1
- #6.7 WanderingPenguin
  
  Calm down. It wasn’t aimed at you. It was just a comment apropos of “your illiterate” and why I found that funny in the first place. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
  
  There are dozens and dozens of spelling/grammar/typographical/punctuation errors made on here every single day. Contrary to some posters’ opinions, I don’t nitpick each and every one of them. That would be a full-time job and it’s frankly self-defeating because most people don’t seem to care anyhow. Trust me: there’s probably only one post in 10 here that is put together perfectly. But when I read something accidentally ironic like “your illiterate” I think it’s too funny to let pass, Crash, and that’s why I would have said something if Jen had not. But yes, I do comment on the note as well - thanks for at least noticing that.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:16 pm rating: +4
- #6.8 Crash
  
  It’s cool, I can laugh at it being “accidentally ironic” as you put it and I agree.
  I actually appreciate your critcism more than her’s, at least I know you know what you’re talking about.
  But I unfortuately am not perfect in my spelling or sentence structure all the time, so you would have your work cut out for you when it comes to me.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 10:00 pm rating: +3
- #6.9 WanderingPenguin
  
  Crash, rest assured: if I make a comment concerning an innocent mistake in one of your posts, it’s only because it would take a year off of my life not to do so. Trust me, I don’t have the time nor the inclination to jump on every mistake here. And furthermore, it’s not intended as a “criticism” in a case like this. It truly made me nearly spit coke all over my mon…. erm, never mind. Sorry again for the tribulations!
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: +3
- #6.10 anglophile
  
  Team Trust and Use The Smileys!
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 11:00 pm rating: +3
- #6.11 WanderingPenguin
  
  I loves me dem smileys!!
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 11:16 pm rating: +3
- #6.12 Crash
  
  This one is my favorate.
  I love it !!
  It’s Awsome !!
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 11:24 pm rating: +3
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#7 Grimfool

As for the most gratuitous, obviously #1; way out of control . . . there COULD have been a theme with loud animals, except for the bunny and ladybug; there COULD have been an implied “we don’t work in a zoo” — again, except for the bunny and ladybug. And did anyone notice that the sign which is obviously aimed at cellphone users is directly under a yellow Nextel flag? Talked about mixed subliminal messages! Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:22 pm rating: +4

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- #7.1 cre8tivewmn
  
  Seriously! Couldn’t the designer find some cell phone clip art? What do all the animals mean? Did she reuse a “recycle and save the animals sign?”
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 12:49 pm rating: 0
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#8 Canthz_B

I think that sign three,
Would cause guilt, making it too,
Hard to make a pee.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:24 pm rating: +2

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#9 Canthz_B

What if I prefer to take my call to the ventricle?

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:26 pm rating: +4

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- #9.1 Eilis
  
  The ventricle would be way too noisy CB.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:04 pm rating: +3
- #9.2 anglophile
  
  Maybe a little cramped, too.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:09 pm rating: +3
- #9.3 Crash
  
  How about the Mitral ?
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:13 pm rating: +3
- #9.4 Canthz_B
  
  Not too noisy in a dead workplace
  Nice pick-up on that one AΦ
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:15 pm rating: +1
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#10 Grimfool

However, upon reflection and after a message from God, I also scratch my head at #3 — obviously a Protestant church to the left, obviously an Orthodox priest to the right… but I do dig how the priest’s eyes follow me around the room as I’m trashing it!

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:28 pm rating: +5

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#11 Canthz_B

Here is the church,
Here is the steeple,
The Bishop is watching,
Don’t trash this room people.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:28 pm rating: +7

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- #11.1 Karin
  
  If this poem was on that sign, it would be funny-cute. but as is, I’m inclined to round-file the sign more than anything else and go about my business.
  
  Dec 19, 2007 at 12:00 am rating: 0
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#12 Canthz_B

Overheard cell phone conversations are annoying. Even the animal kingdom has had enough!

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:33 pm rating: +2

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#13 Crash

Note #1
So, if I’m on my phone and not reading the sign, I can keep my call there, right ?

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:34 pm rating: +10

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- #13.1 anglophile
  
  For finding the loophole in the sign, you get a plus !
  
  (only the ratings don’t work for me )
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 6:39 pm rating: +1
- #13.2 Crash
  
  Ya’ they do, they just don’t show up right away.
  ( I have the same issue )
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 6:42 pm rating: +1
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#14 anglophile

That is really an impressive display of clip art in Note #2. Not only a cannister and loose tea leaves, but also a tea strainer. Most mediocre clip art collections would only have a bag and a cup for tea, I’d bet!

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:41 pm rating: +3

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- #14.1 Numinous
  
  I’m sure the person who created the note spent hours online searching for the perfect clip art. Mind you, that was likely hours of “company time” and I’m not sure the boss would agree that it was time well spent.
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 2:39 pm rating: +2
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#15 Writer, Rejected

I don’t get the math problem in the second sign. How does me + a mop equal some loose tea and a sink? Does that mean the disposal spits up the tea on the floor? Also, I think clip art should be banned by everyone but art directors. It’s too much. Much too much.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:53 pm rating: 0

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- #15.1 Suhayla
  
  Yeah, I thought that the logic was intuitive at first, but it’s a little over the top, unless they have a problem with people leaving the sink running as well…
  1. if (loose tea plus sink) then (sink plus clog)
  2. if (sink plus clog) then (you plus mop)???
  There’s definately a missing step here… (I even GAVE them the first step, they TOTALLY left out the clog part, they just alluded to it with the tea in clog form)
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 10:59 am rating: 0
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#16 Canthz_B

Laugh now, but 300 years from now these masterworks will be taught in Clip-Art History 101, The Millennium Period.

Dec 16, 2007 at 6:53 pm rating: +3

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- #16.1 Writer, Rejected
  
  Oh, that’s a terrible thought. The world is ugly enough! Now we are cluttering the future with bad clip art. It makes me shudder.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 6:56 pm rating: 0
- #16.2 Canthz_B
  
  LOL. I think they make clip art so cheesy so no one will use it for commercial purposes.
  Doesn’t work unfortunately.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 7:05 pm rating: 0
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#17 Stace

What kind of garbage disposal can’t handle tea leaves?

Dec 16, 2007 at 7:41 pm rating: +1

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- #17.1 Karin
  
  I don’t know. my disposal can certainly handle it - it’s the string from the tea bag that causes problems. My husband is constantly complaining that I leave my tea bag in the sink. I told him to try making tea without dripping it all over the kitchen while 2 not-walking-on-their-own-yet babies are hanging on his leg - oops, getting worked up over a tea bag - must get sleep - stop being so hilariously addictive bloggers!
  
  Dec 19, 2007 at 12:06 am rating: 0
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#18 SaiSei

I, for one, am grateful for the pictures. I don’t know how I ever would have figured out that there was a trash receptacle without the oscar-the-grouch trashcan picture showing me the way.

Dec 16, 2007 at 7:49 pm rating: +4

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#19 Canthz_B

In note three (in a church), why did they make “you” less important than the “Bathroom” by not capitalizing? Hmmm…

Dec 16, 2007 at 8:00 pm rating: +2

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- #19.1 park rose
  
  Only one man wears the capital in church, and His name is God (and variations there upon)
  
  The bishop as the vessel of God is also allowed capitals (it is He delivering it, no?), but mere toilet users? Forget it.
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 6:25 am rating: +1
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#20 summer

That tea was fucking delicious!

Dec 16, 2007 at 8:09 pm rating: +4

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- #20.1 WanderingPenguin
  
  Holy shit I miss the negative rating button.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 8:13 pm rating: +9
- #20.2 WanderingPenguin
  
  Is there a negative rating button and I’m just not seeing it? Last time I checked in comment 20.1 was rated +2 and now it’s +1. LMAO.
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:17 pm rating: +2
- #20.3 anglophile
  
  The PAN goddess giveth and the PAN goddess taketh away!
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 9:38 pm rating: +3
- #20.4 Rocky
  
  Damn, we are temporarily out of unitards….
  AND there is no - button.
  
  I want my money back!
  
  Dec 16, 2007 at 10:36 pm rating: +2
- #20.5 Juliet
  
  When I try to rate anyone, the number doesn’t change but the system claims I’ve “voted”. So do I have log off and then log back on again? What gives?
  
  That F-D joke seriously needs to be put to bed. Or a burial in an unmarked grave.
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 11:14 am rating: +2
- #20.6 Rocky
  
  Juliet: We could get the “Bishop (who is really Osama in disguise)” to conduct a small service for the (we hope) departed…..
  
  But of course, He would have to be wearing a Unitard!
  
  Dec 17, 2007 at 3:36 pm rating: +1
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#21 Wade

I think that left justifying the trash receptacle puts the attention to detail completely over the top.

Dec 16, 2007 at 8:12 pm rating: +1

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#22 WanderingPenguin

I would like to say that, as a right-handed person, I do not find a trash receptacle located to the left of something to be the least bit convenient. Team Equal-Opportunity Trash Receptacles.

Dec 16, 2007 at 8:14 pm rating: +3

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#23 Wade

You know, you can buy a strainer to fit over the drain. Costs less than 1 USD.

I’m just saying…..

Dec 16, 2007 at 8:18 pm rating: +2

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

clip art crimes

December 16th, 2007 · 139 comments

139 responses so far ↓