These walls are NOT soundproof.

December 18th, 2007 · 135 comments

Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS! Conversations and bodily function noises can be heard by others outside this room. THESE WALLS ARE NOT SOUNDPROOF.

related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?


FILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · eww · excessive underlining · noise · office · privacy · Salt Lake City · that's disgusting


135 responses so far ↓

  • #1   WanderingPenguin bang

    Great. Just when I finally conquered my paruresis problems. Damn you Salt Lake City!

    I wonder if they can hear all the (bathroom) readers digest, too? Wakka wakka wakka….

    Dec 18, 2007 at 10:45 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   anglophile bang

      All the people over at IPA are sitting around congratulating themselves on the sudden spike in web traffic!

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   WanderingPenguin bang

      Then my work here is done. And it only took one post! W00t!

      Although you kind of took some of the fun out of the hunt with your hot link. :P

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   anglophile bang

      I’m nothing if not accommodating to the clueless.

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   WanderingPenguin bang

      Hmm. Is that a choice? Where’s the vote button? ;)

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Rocky bang

      OH-OH WP, isn’t W007 spelled double-u, zero, zero, seven?

      Can it be? No, you must have done that on purpose. It was a test, right? My idol CANNOT have clay feet!!!!

      I will be in mourning…….

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   GhostWriter bang

      Kudos for the Fozzy shtick!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 8:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   WanderingPenguin bang

      My 7 is…um…broken. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

      Ok, it was a test. Sorry, a 7357. Better? :D

      And thanks, GW! Fozzy rules!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 5:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   super_fan99 bang

      My post would have said something like that but sounded alot dumber. IPA rocks!

      And it’s w00t, with zero’s NO “7″.

      Look it up.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 6:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   WanderingPenguin bang

      W00t! Well, I had the zeros in there in the first place… but I thought I had messed up the “t”. I guess it’s only a “7″ in “l337″? Hmm.

      Anyhow, I have been wanting to mention this and keep forgetting: not sure if it’s available in the States but up here “IPA” stands for “India Pale Ale”. Seems to me if you have 2 or 3 “IPAs” you won’t need the “I.P.A.” to help you out as much. :D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks SF99. I was not familiar with the term. I looked in M-W.com but they did not have it. I found it at urbandictionary.com…WOOT!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 6:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Rocky bang

      I absolutely HAD looked it up again to make absolutely sure before I commented, after all, who would have the balls to challenge the Penguin without fact-checking? Certainly not a dedicated fan like myself. Unfortunately, I should have linked (which I have no idea how to do) or copied the web address (which I do know how to do), but did not and am kicking myself now.

      I did find this just now in an article about the “word of the year” winner:

      “Purists of “l33t speak” often substitute a “7″ for the final “t,” expressing a “w007″ of victory — an “in your face” of sorts…..” which makes the WP 100% correct in 10.9! Thank GOD no clay feet!

      My original technical misinformation came from the original article which reported it being named “word of the year” on Yahoo news (never again). I now stand corrected as I did not realize the “7″ was an alternate spelling – the original headline spelled it W-0-0-7 (foiled by the damned sensationalist headlines!!!!).

      And WP – you are truly a gentleman for not rubbing my face in it. I also love the “broken” retort – you are also apparently a Master of Quick Thinking!

      I bow to the Master and am now humbly donning the Unitard.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 7:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   super_fan99 bang

      I only know that because I’m a gamer geek. I always spelled LEET like “1337″ but, who can say what’s right? It’s all just made up shit.

      My favorite is “pwn”.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 8:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   WanderingPenguin bang

      Exactly. If the word is “fantastic” anyhow, then spell it any way you damn well feel. :)

      Wait, that doesn’t sound like me. Hmm. Let me rethink and get back to you… ;)

      Rocky, you have about 1,000 Get Out Of Jail Free Cards, believe me!

      SF99 – I will have to shorten this story for space constraints…but I dropped my teenage daughter at a party last summer where she couldn’t figure out which door to use to go in. I told her the one I thought was right, she went to a different one only to have the Dad of the house come out of the one I chose and say “it’s THIS one!”. After she went in, I took out my cell and texted her: “Ha ha! You were pwned!” The guy throwing the party saw this message…dropped his jaw in awe and said, “Your Dad can come to any of my parties anytime!” :D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.14   Rocky bang

      See, I knew you are awesome!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.15   park rose bang

      bintgodess’ comment under the last of any of the comments on this thread (mine at this moment) will seem to put a dampener on anything written :-) , though I know she was referring to the note!

      A penguin with clay feet is a penguin in trouble.

      Dec 20, 2007 at 5:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   bintgoddess

    Um… ew.

    Dec 18, 2007 at 10:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   mamason bang

    This too shall pass.

    Dec 18, 2007 at 10:53 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Karen bang

      OMG ! First laugh of the night ! :D

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   mamason bang

    Please forgive me, oh thou of the silent and immaculate defecation! My flatulence has long been the bane of my existence. Beano! Beano! Where fart thou, Beano?

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:09 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   amy d bang

      I’m not worthy! That is all.

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   mamason bang

      Amy, you are more than!

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    With farts like those, just be glad those walls are shatter-proof!

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   anglophile bang

    I suppose the walls aren’t smellproof either? :|

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Rocky bang

      “Dear Neighbor,
      As a 30 year professional health person……”

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Life With Buck

    If you don’t like it then Stop Listening When I Pee!

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    This is what happens when you put the blind guy’s desk near the restroom!

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Kt

      This is what happens when you put the blind guy’s desk IN the restroom!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:17 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   WanderingPenguin bang

    I wonder if anyone can hear you washing your hair in this triflin’ office washroom?

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   morpho aurora bang

    instead of using your time to analyze the noises from the bathrooms try doing your job – if you had enough time to make a sign, perhaps there isn’t enough work piled on your desk
    the maker of this sign is now responsible for subsequent UTIs and leakage.

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Wade bang

    Perhaps they should loosen the bolt that secures the exhaust fan.

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      But then the neighb upstairs would leave an icky-sweet threatening letter about the smell at 4 the next morning….

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Wade bang

      it takes a light touch

      not enough to render it ineffective in its main function

      just enough to make a racket loud enough to mask any other, er, noises

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   WanderingPenguin bang

      Sounds like experience talking? ;)

      Dec 19, 2007 at 5:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Shouldn’t you expect these things if you work at CCFA?

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Rocky bang

      Jeez, there really is a website for everything. And now, introducing duets……Crohn’s & Colitis, both just one convenient click way. I may never stop laughing.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   anglophile bang

    I’m thinking they could just install some speakers to pipe in music throughout the office. A repeating loop of The Osmonds Greatest Hits seems appropriate.

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Canthz_B bang

      I like it! Listen to crap or listen to crapping! :-)

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   mamason bang

      How about, “She Dropped the Bomb on Me”?

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   mamason bang

      Or, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh what a relief it is”.

      Dec 18, 2007 at 11:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   amy d bang

      Studying the title of this thread also brings to mind a certain Salt-N-Peppa song.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   amy d bang

      Oh, and Rocky? Aren’t you glad I didn’t say Pepper? Aaah, push it!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   mamason bang

      real good, amy!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Rocky bang

      Tee-hee amy d!

      Also: Touche`!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   amy d bang

      I can laugh at myself, Rocky ;)

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   amy d bang

    The sign maker was very careful to not ASSume the gender of the offender. Kudos.

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   TygerAKC bang

    GREAT! Some of us weren’t self conscious enough about using a semi-public restroom to begin with, now we KNOW someone is listening rather than just WONDERING if someone is listening!!

    Dec 18, 2007 at 11:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Detective Julie

    Maybe they’re talking about SEXY bodily functions going on in the stalls, since they also mention “conversations”. Woo woo!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 12:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   mamason bang

      Yeah, I’d be wondering if the note writer was talking about the massive massive I grunted off the other day or is s/he talking about the blow job I gave the Xerox guy. I wonder…

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Crash bang

    I think it would be “conciderate to others” if someone wasn’t listening to “others” going to the bathroom, but that’s just me.
    Anyway……..

    Dec 19, 2007 at 12:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Eilis bang

    If you can’t make bathroom noises in the bathroom, where should you make them?
    I suppose farting while alone in an empty elevator would be frowned upon as well.

    Team Where Ever You Be, May Your Wind Be Free!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 1:03 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    I’m sorry, I’m having trouble getting my mind around just how the sign-maker expects others to eliminate poopy-air-pockets.
    Heck, sometimes you don’t even know if it’s going to be solid, liquid or gas! Let alone a Tweener!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 1:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   mamason bang

      Poopy-air-pockets! lol Just another tasty treat from the makers of Hot Pockets!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   paragoddess

      Hot Pockets tend to create poopy-air-pockets! Now I can’t stop laughing!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 8:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Lorelie

      Gawd. I’m awestruck at the thought of trying to microwave a poopy-air-pocket. Do you get a little crisper sleeve for it?

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      have you seen Jim Gaffigan’s stand-up? diarrhea pocket!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 4:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    To Jingle Bells…Happy Holidays :-)

    Drop my pants,
    Take my stance,
    Holler, “Bombs away”!
    Hope my friends,
    Don’t lend an ear,
    As I flush my turds today, Hey!

    Wipe my butt,
    Mirror strut,
    Perhaps wash my hair.
    Take my leave,
    My own pet peeve,
    Is that creepy Frank’s out there!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 1:45 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Eilis bang

      niiiice. :D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Rachel

      That was hilarious!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 2:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   maria

    LMAO!!! ahaha that was funny.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 1:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    never mind :-(

    Dec 19, 2007 at 2:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Canthz_B bang

      This makes no sense today! LOL
      I posted something and then thought better of it, that’s all. Move along folks, nothing to see here! :-)

      Dec 19, 2007 at 5:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Crash bang

      I’M TELLING EVERYONE !!!!!
      never mind….. :)

      Dec 19, 2007 at 6:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Canthz_B bang

      :-D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Mystic

    I tried to be considerate of others by lighting a match when I was done. Fortunately, the tidal wave of a splash put the match out before the sprinkler system could go off.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 2:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Willow

    At least they didn’t use clip art.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 5:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Rumblefish

      I’d kinda like to see a clip-art for this note.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 7:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   GezD bang

    It’s a toilet. People poo and wee in a toilet. If you want peace and quiet, go to a library.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 6:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   amy d bang

    Susie requests permission from the boss to post a sign on the bathrooms regarding noisy bodily functions. The boss replies, “Make it so #1.”

    Dec 19, 2007 at 6:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   amy d bang

    Bathroom jokes-everybody knows 1 or 2.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 7:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   GhostWriter bang

    First, this happened.

    Then the sign went up.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 8:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   paragoddess

    How is one suppose to curtail bodily function sounds? I suppose one could courtesy flush prior to releasing the sound, but to me that would be more annoying than listening to somebody’s muffled John Fart.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 9:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   GhostWriter bang

      Yeah- and don’t you know another note would be posted: “Please Stop The Excessive Flushing!” The whole thing is an exercise in employee humiliation.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   park rose bang

      That’s how it’s done in Japan. Even for the tinkling. Because there was such a wastage of water, many places now have a recording of flushing continually playing! (or playing continually).

      Dec 20, 2007 at 5:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   paragoddess

    BTW, I have donned the unitard gracefully from the last PAN; however, orange is not a good color for me. If I wasn’t already wearing it, I would be soon for this PAN has Fucking Delicious written all over it.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 9:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   amy d bang

      What strange culinary tastes you have, paragoddess.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   GhostWriter bang

      Vell, how doss anozzer sirty days vearing ze Unitard sound, Hogan? Maybe sinks vill not seem so fuckink delizzhous zen?

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   paragoddess

      As you get to know me better you will find I have many strange qualities.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   paragoddess

      FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE NO COL. KLINK!!! FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      ahem! I prefer “For the love of unholy”

      Dec 19, 2007 at 4:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   GhostWriter bang

    Believe it or not, I’ve had recurring dreams of needing to use a toilet, but the only one available is located in a semi-public area, where passerbys can see/hear/smell your every bodily function. I try to be as innocuous as possible, to no avail. Of course, there’s no toilet paper.

    Thank you, Salt Lake office, for making my dreams come true.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 9:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   paragoddess

      I believe it. In fact I just had this dream last night. The only place to “go” was actually in the middle of my station house bay. Everyone else acted as though this was a perfectly normal spot for a toilet (no TP of course). I however, was highly embarrASSed and had stage fright. (tee-hee couldn’t resist). Glad to know I’m not the only one!
      (my English teacher would be going crazy red-inking my paper. “Parenthesis are only used in math!”) (((((()))))))

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   anglophile bang

      Raises hand in fellowship. I find I can make the dream go away by waking myself up and, er, taking care of business. Whatever you do, don’t try to make yourself go in your dream. And that is all I’m going to say about that.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 9:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Katzndogz bang

      In my bathroom anxiety dreams, the stalls never have doors. Eek!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   Chimichim bang

      Katzndogz: I am sooooo glad someone other than me has these same dreams!!! I also have them where I search and search for the bathroom only to find the toilet is out in the open, like at the library in the middle of the room where everyone can see!!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   amy d bang

      Here you go, from dreamhawk.com:

      TOILET The actual room: Many people find their only privacy in the toilet, so it can depict their need for, or feelings about, privacy.

      Going to the toilet: Expressing yourself; releasing feelings, often creative; letting go of tightly held attitudes, the past, or sexuality; acceptance of your own natural drives and needs.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   Michelle

      Hah. One time I dreamed that I had to go REALLY BADLY, only every member of New Kids On The Block was watching me as the toilet was in the middle of their manager’s office. I made myself go and actually tinkled a little in my bed.

      So if going to the toilet means expressing creative feelings, does that mean I secretly wanted to be a member of NKOTB? (I am a girl…and was 12 at the time)

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   amy d bang

      Or that you had hot, sexy feelings for all of them. It would have to be expressed symbolically because what 12 year old girl would want to acknowledge her dreams of being a slut?

      :D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.8   amy d bang

      Michelle, If I went too far, I apologize in advance.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.9   GhostWriter bang

      oh ho HO! At the very least, Amy, you should be unargumentatively slipping into a unitard for that one!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.10   Canthz_B bang

      When we were kids my older brother sleep-walked downstairs and out to the front porch to pee one night.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.11   Michelle

      Oh, even as a 12 year old I had no problems acknowledging my desire of being slutty. But that’s a WHOLE ‘nother issue. I didn’t even find any of them attractive, especially Danny with the freakin’ GIGANTIC noggin.

      Also? Here’s another fun one. My ex was an idiot and refused to believe that one night after coming home incredibly drunk, he peed all over the wall in the corner of our bedroom. The urine streaks apparently weren’t enough.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 2:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.12   amy d bang

      Lol, Michelle, glad I did not offend.

      GW, I NEVER argue about donning the unitard. I look incredibly stunning in it.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 2:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.13   Willow

      I’ve either had incredibly public toilet dreams or ones where I’ve tried and tried to go (while doing odd things, like pushing the toilet all over the bathroom-maybe this spot will work!) and (thankfully) never suceeded (is it a bad sign if you can’t spell sucess?). I also have those falling dreams, but instead of falling, I trip on a crack in the sidewalk.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 3:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.14   Karen bang

      Oh, CB….me too ! Actually, I was about 5 yrs old. I sleep-walked out the door, down the street, around the corner, knocked on my parents’ friends door (they were up playing poker, I’m told), when they answered the door, I asked them if I could use their bathroom ! Yep, they called my parents to come get me.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 4:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.15   Canthz_B bang

      Pee happens, Karen! :-)

      Dec 19, 2007 at 4:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   paragoddess

    I’ve got it! Maybe the consideration is not to have bodily function sounds and conversations quietly, but to have them louder so the eavesdropper doesn’t have to strain thier hearing to feel included!
    It was a stretch…

    Dec 19, 2007 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Ariadne bang

    Wow – how exactly does the note-writer expect people to control their “bodily function noises”? Except maybe if this is from the office where Jake has his “flatulence problem”? :D

    Dec 19, 2007 at 9:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      I’m guessing you’re supposed to make those noises in the boardroom, which has better soundproofing. :D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 5:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   park rose bang

      And more Old Farts. :-D

      Dec 20, 2007 at 5:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   the sos

    i was once subjected to what can only be described as a severe gastrointestinal event. disturbing? yes. gross? a little. but in spite of the fact we were in a public restroom we were IN A RESTROOM. if it’s related to going – anything goes. that’s my credo. honestly, i was just bummed that i had left my phone at the dinner table. while it may not be considered the most tasteful conversation it’s a recording i would have reveled in having. i’m not weird, either. it was the most ridiculously preposterous thing i’ve ever witnessed.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 10:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   the sos

      i just would like to clarify that i WITNESSED the episode. wasn’t me making all that noise…

      Dec 19, 2007 at 10:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   anglophile bang

      Thanks for sharing, sos! :P

      Dec 19, 2007 at 10:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   T-Bone

    In SLC, no caffeinated drinks, no tobacco, no booze, no drugs, no thong panties, no cussing, no spitting, no tatts–

    Now we must add farting, crapping, peeing and bathroom small-talk to the list of don’ts. What an enormous amount of pressure there is to be a regular human being in Salt Lake.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 10:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   summer

    farts smell so that deaf people can enjoy them too.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 10:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   GhostWriter bang

    There should be a law against this manner of bathroon stall oppression. In fact, I’m going to write to my senator, Larry Craig.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 11:12 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      LMAO – nice. :D

      Dec 19, 2007 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Rocky bang

      Too funny GW…I may never recover. And if there is a God, neither will the Craig campaign!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 7:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   DrAstroZoom bang

    It’s my potty, and I’ll grunt if I want to,
    Grunt if I want to,
    Grunt if I want to.
    You can grunt too if shit happens to you!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 11:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   amy d bang

      Truly inspired and disgusting at the same time. Bravo DAZ!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 11:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   paragoddess

      That was amazing!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 11:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Katzndogz bang

    Seriously, who did this person piss off that they got designated an office/cubicle next to a bathroom with thin walls?

    Dec 19, 2007 at 11:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Michelle

      Seriously. Don’t worry about it too much, note-writer. Soon enough your desk will be moved to the basement. Would you mind taking care of the cockroach problem while you’re down there? Thanks.

      Dec 19, 2007 at 12:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   paragoddess

      And no, you may not have your stapler back!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 1:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   Willow

      He probably made too much noise in the bathroom. “Well, we’ll see how YOU like it!”

      Dec 19, 2007 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.4   Rocky bang

      Nice “Office Space” reference paragoddess!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.5   Michelle

      I started the Office SPace reference but that’s okay, I’m no glory hog. ;)

      Dec 20, 2007 at 11:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   cre8tivewmn bang

    The sign-maker gets a copy of “Everybody poops” in the holiday gift exchange.

    Sorry, but the restroom is the one place you’re allowed to make those noises. I sympathize that you have such a crummy office location, but I suggest you get earplugs rather than trying to control this behavior.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 11:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   park rose bang

      Sounds like an ‘REM’ song.

      Dec 20, 2007 at 5:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   park rose bang

      Had to do it:
      To R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts”, last verse.

      If you want the throne
      in Utah,
      you’d better try and hold on
      even when you think you’ve had too much
      bran to hang on.
      Well, everybody farts- –
      sometimes – -
      everybody tries – -
      everybody farts, sometimes
      everybody farts, sometimes
      so hold on (in Utah)
      so hold on (in Utah)
      hold on (phht-phht-phht)
      hold on (phht-phht-phht)

      etc, and so on, ad infinitum :-)

      Dec 20, 2007 at 7:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Lorelie

    If the note writer doesn’t want to hear either conversations or “bodily function noises” that leaves only song! This is obviously a desperate plea for more Christmas carols.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 1:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   secondsout

    So I have a slight question. What the hell conversation is going on in these bathrooms? Most bathrooms I frequent are fairly conversation-free. Maybe a polite greeting to the other bathroom denizens, but beyond that, it’s not the sort of place where one proposes, or gives speeches, or debates the finer points of Tolstoy’s writing.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 1:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Willow

      Bathrooms are free game for gossip and nasty comments about other people. They’re delightful. Boyfriend problems? Meet me in the bathroom. That geek from accounting (sorry, stereotyping) asked you out? We’ll discuss it in the bathroom. It’s too bad his office is right next door…

      Dec 19, 2007 at 3:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   mamason bang

      I get tired of everyone talking shit. It pisses me off. ;-)

      Dec 20, 2007 at 3:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.3   amy d bang

      That’s just pooptastic, Mamason. Tee hee.

      Dec 20, 2007 at 3:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Canthz_B bang

    REALITY…Have you tried the help buttons at the bottom of this page?

    Dec 19, 2007 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   NERDS!!!

    I wish I could write “sorry” on that note.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 2:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   wickedopinion bang

    Where is there a bathroom where the walls are really THAT thin? Who constructed this building? I agree completely with preceding posts – your desk is near the bathroom because you suck and need to work harder and if you can’t make bathroom noises in the motherfather bathroom, then where? Cafeteria, VP’s office?
    Also, if Patty from Accounting wants to gossip with Linda from Payroll about Tammy from Sales’ slutty skirt, then the bathroom is the exact place she should be doing that…I’m sure most Human Resources managers would agree.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 3:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Willow

      Aww, you stole my comment! Now I have to change the office slut to something else. Although I must admit your comment was well worded!

      Dec 19, 2007 at 3:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Jodi Blaze

    NO SHIT!!!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 4:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   doeseatoats bang

    Damn! Ate too much fruit and cake.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 4:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Rocky bang

      LMAO doeseatoats! I worked at Aon once for a bit (everyone only works there for a bit, in part because of memos like these!) They had “fruit and cake day”…..oh, the memories.
      BTW: The bathroom was right next to the break room…maybe this note as actually posted at Aon?

      Dec 19, 2007 at 7:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   doeseatoats bang

      Aha! That would explain it all.

      Dec 20, 2007 at 7:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Canthz_B bang

    This note just sounds like a load of crap!

    Dec 19, 2007 at 4:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   machead

    Let’s re-write this note slightly, only this time without the crazy:

    PLEASE TO BE POOING AND TALKING!

    Conversations and bodily function noises are a perfectly normal occurrence in a washroom, public or private.

    THESE BUTTS ARE NOT SOUNDPROOF.

    Dec 19, 2007 at 5:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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