The sincerest form of passive-aggression

December 30th, 2007 · 45 comments

Laura in Boston says one of the restrooms at her school is a real note bonanza. The inside of the stall features no fewer than four individual notes about proper flushing etiquette, and immediately outside the restroom are two (slightly contradictory notes) about proper door opening/closing procedure.

this is a single-person bathroom

But what’s most interesting? How a couple of those notes look awfully familiar...

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

related: Passive perfectionism; Et tu, Dora?

FILED UNDER: bathroom · blitzkrieg approach · Boston · meta · opening/closing · toilet


45 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Grimfool

    There should be another note saying “if you had time to read all notes, you didn’t really need to be here”

    Dec 30, 2007 at 2:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Denagh

      Well then I have to say it…”Those notes were F-ing Delicious!”
      Now that over with..who the hell has time to write all these things then post them all over the place..Get to work you OCD Bathroom Stalker you……

      Dec 30, 2007 at 2:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   WanderingPenguin bang

      No. No, actually you did not have to say it.

      Dec 30, 2007 at 6:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   GVI bang

      At least be original to an extent and say “That un-pristine bathroom floor that i licked tasted fucking delicious.”

      I took one for the team, so just give me the damn Unitard.

      Dec 30, 2007 at 7:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Grimfool

      Taking one for the team absolves you, especially since yon unitard is already handed to Denagh (who should be reminded to “please be sure to leave this unitard pristine after use”!).

      Dec 30, 2007 at 7:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   WanderingPenguin bang

      I don’t think “taking one for the team” ever absolves you, or what exactly are you “taking” for the team? However, Denagh is certainly not through with the unitard so… GVI might be off the hook this one time. ;)

      Dec 31, 2007 at 10:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Zoe

      I like tradition. “Fucking delicious” onward, my friends!

      Dec 31, 2007 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   WanderingPenguin bang

      I am pushing for the New Year’s Resolution of No More Fucking Delicious Posts made for the sake of making them. Oh, and we need a new punishment. That unitard is no longer fuc….erm, never mind.

      Dec 31, 2007 at 1:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    Shout heard throughout the facility:

    “WHERE THE HELL IS THE MARRIED PERSON RESTROOM?”

    Dec 30, 2007 at 2:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Joe

      Sorry, but you married persons already get tax breaks we single persons don’t get. You can afford to buy your own damn bathrooms.

      Dec 31, 2007 at 1:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   pry

    wow, the only notes in my school’s restroom was a “why to unplug” info sheet. btw, “unplugging” is to cease being a tampon-user.

    liberal arts school.

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   pickle bang

      I have to ask… what were their reasons for “unplugging,” anyway?

      Jan 3, 2008 at 1:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   pry

      oh, things like reducing waste, and the hazardous bleach used in the cotton, etc.

      Jan 4, 2008 at 9:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   pickle bang

      Huh… I would have thought it would be about the same whether you use tampons or pads. Or did they want us to use cloth pads?

      Jan 4, 2008 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Juliet bang

    I totally relate to these notes. I’ve seen some terribly dirty women’s washrooms. I think when it comes to public toilets women are less tidy, but when it comes to home use, men are less tidy. Perhaps it comes from not wanting to touch anything in the public washroom, so if anything is left on the toilet seat or the floor, it stays.

    Also I like the use of the word ‘debris’ in the final note.

    One thing I don’t understand is how water gets all over the counter in women’s washrooms. I somehow manage to keep it in the sink every time.

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Juliet bang

    And who is leaving the door of a public washroom open???!

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   SilverIris bang

    The typo in the previous note was the cause of all the confusion and chaos in the women’s room: “Please be sure to leave the bathroom/toilet PISStine after use.”

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Crash bang

    “This is a single person – bathroom !!”……
    Leaves alot to the imagination.

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Canthz_B bang

      No schizophrenics allowed?

      Dec 30, 2007 at 3:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   summer

      schizophrenics do not have multiple personalities.
      People with dissociative identity disorder do, this was known as multiple personality disorder in the past.

      Dec 30, 2007 at 7:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      I know that, and you know that, but most people would not get the joke if I had used dissociative identity disorder. ;-)

      Dec 30, 2007 at 8:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   summer

      gotcha!

      Dec 30, 2007 at 8:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Numinous bang

      I don’t know, schizophrenic might fit. A person having hallucinations might be easily distracted and switch trains of thought. Maybe the Devil was whispering about fun things to do to single people and Jesus was advising better restroom etiquette? It’s easy to get confused when there are so many voices you know.

      Dec 31, 2007 at 3:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Wade bang

    “leave the door open when available”

    is that equivalent to a “wide stance”?

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Crash bang

      Depends if you’re a democrat.

      Dec 30, 2007 at 3:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’m afraid, very afraid!
      I’ll have to brush up on public restroom etiquette.
      “Just look at the wall” seems inadequate today. Now I must mind my stance and be certain my stall is securely closed.
      I don’t want to send any mixed messages! ;-)

      Dec 30, 2007 at 8:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Wade bang

    “for all debris to disappear”?!?!

    well, there’s your problem. nothing good can come from flushing the results of construction cleanup.

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   cvp bang

    Oh, crud.

    I hate pressure. Was that leave the door open when in use and closed when empty or the other way around? I can’t remember and I’ve got to go!!!!!!!!!!

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    I like “Dora the Enforcer”!

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Canthz_B bang

      You’ll have to click on the pic to see this one.
      Well, it tickled me a bit anyway! :-)

      Dec 31, 2007 at 12:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Heywood

    x

    Dec 30, 2007 at 3:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Crash bang

      Thanks for changing that.

      Dec 30, 2007 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Couldn’t they just leave the door closed at all times and knock before entering?
    If it’s locked or you get an “I’m in here!” wait your turn.

    Dec 30, 2007 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Crash bang

    Note #2
    Is that a picture of a sign ?
    Or a sign taped to a picture of a T.V. screen underneath ?…..can’t really make that out too well.
    Anyway….

    Dec 30, 2007 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    How are they going to keep the bathroom/toilet pristine when the paper towel dispenser is empty?

    Dec 30, 2007 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   anglophile bang

    Wait, they printed PAN notes from the internet and posted them as their own notes??!!?? Not only are they passive-aggressive, they are also lazy and fradulent!

    Make up your own damn signs!

    Dec 30, 2007 at 4:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Grimfool

    Apologies to The Platters, but I had to do it . . .

    Pristine handles make a lovely sight
    But not as bright as your bowl tonight (as your bowl tonight) (Oh)
    Wipe off the handles, when your dump is through
    For I’ll be wishing that you flush me, too (that you flush me, too)

    You’re only pristine (pristine)
    But you’re my porcelain queen (you’re my queen)
    You’re the prettiest, loveliest swirl
    I’ve ever seen (I’ve ever seen) (Oh!)

    Pristine handles, and my seat will glow
    For ever and ever when I flush you so (when I flush you so)

    You’re only pristine (pristine)
    But you’re my porcelain queen (you’re my queen)
    Oh, you’re the prettiest, loveliest swirl
    I’ve ever seen (I’ve ever seen) (Oh!)

    Pristine handles, and my seat will glow
    For ever and ever when I flush you so (when I flush you so)
    When I flush you so!!!

    Dec 30, 2007 at 5:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Dammit!! I love and hate you Grimfool. I was just working on that song!
      Maybe I’ll switch and try Sam Cooke’s “She was only Sixteen”! LOL
      No…the card has already been well played. :-D

      Dec 30, 2007 at 5:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Grimfool

      Ah, love and hate: the essence of PA. They say great minds think alike; apparently ours do, too — although I was initially trying to adapt Siouxshie and the Banshees’ “Christine,” but just couldn’t hold the handle down long enough for all the debris to disappear . . .

      Dec 30, 2007 at 7:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Writerrejected bang

    I like the note that say “Things will work very well if you adhere to the steps.” It’s always nice when someone outlines proper toilet use steps, but it sounds like a veiled threat, or a work-mafia warning: things won’t work out for you if you don’t flush the way we like.

    I’d probably take that sign off the wall and bring it to HR just for fun, complaining about a hostile work environment and dropping the name of my “lawyer.”

    Dec 30, 2007 at 5:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      I am always a bit leery of “adhering to the steps” when I use a public washroom. I mean, what exactly was on those steps in the first place that is making me adhere to them? Doesn’t sound very pristine to me. :|

      Dec 30, 2007 at 6:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!

    ever noticed how its always the women’s toilets????

    Dec 31, 2007 at 10:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Lurker

    “Wait a minute – people are ignoring the note we put up in he girls’ bog. We’d better put up a second note telling them to do what we said in the first note.”

    Dec 31, 2007 at 7:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Team Cassandra bang

    Whoa nelly – I can’t handle all these point one point two thingies…I can’t decide where to post so I’ll just say that the posts here are a whole big lot better than the notes.

    My daughter, before she could read, would judge public bathrooms by smell – if it smelled like pee at the door then it was for boys. She was only wrong once and that was at Coffee Time (if you’re not familiar Coffee Time is most notable for its watery coffee, quick and easy midnite drug trafficking and so, of course, nasty bathrooms.)

    And in other news: It’s just lovely how Nickelodeon’s found new and exciting ways to make sure that parents know what to buy for their children.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   stargirl

    what was up w/ the dora one? i so need one of those…

    Jan 5, 2008 at 3:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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