your move, “officer”

January 1st, 2008 · 57 comments

emily from boston summed this one up beautifully, so i’m going to let her take it away. writes emily:

1. i’m not making this up.

2. the 389 highland ave referred to in the note is a shop called “your move games.” they have a basement where dorky kids congregate and play D&D and WoW and such. evidently the author and his six witnesses are patrons.

3. not only is the number six circled, but it is underlined not once, not twice, but three times.

your move,

4. note the close up. under the crossed out section it reads “go fuck yourself you corrupt [something i can't make out]. whatever it was, he rethought his wording and decided to go with a subtler “you’re corrupt.”

your move,

seriously, this note is a work of art.

related: nice try

Tags: gaming · massachusetts · parking · raging against the machine · somerville · that's illegal

57 responses so far ↓

  • #1  pry

    that’s a sure-fire way to butter up an officer who knows your plate number.

    Jan 1, 2008 at 10:36 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #2  GVI

    Pure genius, that is all I have to say on this note. All we need now are multiple exclamation points.

    Jan 1, 2008 at 10:52 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #3  DrAstroZoom

    I think the crossed-out portion reads “go fuck yourself you corrupt piece of …”

    Of course, it could read “go fuck yourself you corrupt Lawful Evil Drow scum.”

    Shame he didn’t have his +3 Car-Tarp of Ever-Meter-Plugging on.

    Jan 1, 2008 at 10:55 pm   rating: +3  

     
  • #4  Heather

    +2 agility, -9 intelligence.

    Jan 1, 2008 at 11:01 pm   rating: +10  

    • #4.1  Wade

      Congrats on the Word!, Heather.

      Brevity is the soul of wit, lol.

      Jan 3, 2008 at 1:30 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #4.2  reclusivemonkey

      I agree - Great comment!

      Jan 3, 2008 at 2:21 pm   rating: 0  

       
    • #4.3  Heather

      Aww…thanks!

      Jan 22, 2008 at 9:57 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #5  park rose

    Do the ticket-giver-outerers come back and read notes? Seems such a waste of effort (though maybe not of anger).

    Jan 1, 2008 at 11:21 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #6  Ralphy

    It’s a fiendish conspiracy to make all corrupt officers rich by writing $2 parking tickets.
    Team corrupt!

    Jan 1, 2008 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #7  Wade

    Oh, I just love stuff like this.

    Here is the relevant regulation from the City of Somerville, MA traffic regulations:

    Section 5-9.1 Parking Meter Locations and Regulations
    Parking is restricted or limited as to time, space, streets and municipal off-street parking area on the streets and municipal off-street parking areas designated as Schedule F hereto appended to which reference is made and which Schedule F is specifically incorporated in this
    Section. No person shall park a vehicle for a period of time longer than two hours or as hereinafter indicated, between the hours of 8:00 AM and 6:00 PM on any streets hereinafter designated in this section and the hours of 8:00 AM and 8:00 PM in all parking lots in Davis Square. This restriction shall not apply on Sundays or during the hours of legal holidays during which business establishments are required by law to remain closed.

    The whole point of meters (besides revenue) is to keep people from camping out all day in a public parking space. Most places don’t make a big deal of meter feeding, but the regs are the regs.

    And the note, providing a confession that he was parking beyond the legal time limit… well, stupid is as stupid does.

    Jan 1, 2008 at 11:37 pm   rating: +9  

    • #7.1  Wade

      oh, and by the way, if I saw a note like this, I would probably have to pull all four tire stems and toss them down the storm drain… just on principle. ;)

      Jan 1, 2008 at 11:50 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #7.2  Agargara

      Pulling tire stems: passive-aggressiveness at its finest. Along with keying cars.

      Jan 1, 2008 at 11:54 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.3  Joe

      So if keying cars is passive-aggressive, does that mean waiting for the owner of the offending car to return and beating his or her head in with a tire iron is aggressive? Just checking.

      Jan 2, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #7.4  amazon

      I prefer leaving a piece of chewed gum under the driver’s door handle.

      Jan 2, 2008 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #8  Grimfool

    So the SIX!!! “witnesses” all went with the guy to see how much time he had left on his meter? As an ex-Dungeon Master, as much as I hated it when the half-orc cleric left the melee round to put pennies in the meter, I would really be passive-aggressive if he came back and took the whole party with him to “witness” the “corruption” of civic law. Those guys would come back to find a pit fiend that’s shape-changed into a bunny rabbit chewing on their boots of elven speed.

    But I digress . . . how old do you think this guy is? I’m betting late 20s . . .

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:06 am   rating: +2  

    • #8.1  TygerAKC

      …OR if you look at the handwriting, 12 at the most!

      Jan 2, 2008 at 12:09 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #8.2  Grimfool

      I think that’s “righteous anger, ” not age, that’s affecting the handwriting. I just think a teen WOULD have the cojones to tell the cop to “go fuck yourself, you corrupt piece of shit” but wouldn’t have the brains or experience to ALMOST obliterate the expletive.

      Jan 2, 2008 at 3:03 am   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #9  bellabeastie

    I love it that “Officer” is in quotes… as if you doubt the veracity of the person that left the ticket.

    Insulting the cops seems to me not a great idea if you indeed intend not to pay the ticket…
    Just asking..

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:09 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #10  bellabeastie

    Dear Officer Barron:

    It doesn’t seem fair on
    A day when I play on
    You give me a summons.
    I refuse to pay.
    Have a Nice Day.
    Not.
    P.S. I have witnesses.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:45 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #11  park rose

    The underlining, circling and writing of the number ‘6′ is obviously code for ‘the mark of the beast’. The Corrupt Baron better watch out!

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:51 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #12  Officer Barron

    Roughly and not completely to this tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tCuCvdhSso
    Can I get a Witness?

    Sorry Marvin!

    Listen everybody, especially you nerds,
    Is it right to leave alone
    A game we love to pay some drone?
    I play too hard, my friends sometimes say,
    But I believe, I believe
    That a game should be played that way,
    But it hurts me so inside,
    To have to pay an unjust fine,
    Somebody, somewhere tell Barron it’s unfair.

    Dude, I’ve got a witness
    (that’ll scare Barron shitless)
    Dude I’ve got a witness
    Somebody.

    Is it right to be treated so bad
    When you give the meter all you had?
    My alarm goes beep
    At two from the hour through the week.
    Now, you gamers do agree
    This ain’t how justice’s supposed to be…

    Dude, I’ve got a witness
    (He’s gonna scare Barron shitless)
    Dude, I’ve got a witness
    Witness, witness

    Jan 2, 2008 at 2:10 am   rating: +5  

    • #12.1  Juliet

      This is awesome! Thank you!

      Jan 2, 2008 at 4:11 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #13  Grimfool

    But let’s give the guy some credit; he’s filled with wrath because his half-elf thief is down to 2 hit points, he just spent 2 copper pieces to gain another round of fantasy parking, and yet he’s being hassled by the corrupt Barron . . . and through it all, he maintains proper respect for the apostrophe! Well-played, sirrah, well-played.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 3:10 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #14  Mystic

    Well, if he wasn’t such a cheap bastard, he could have saved his parking meter change and bought his flying mount so he could hover over the space, allowing other cheap bastards to park below him.

    Yes, I play WoW. But I’m married, and a mom so that makes me cool….right? It doesn’t? Oh…

    Jan 2, 2008 at 3:44 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #15  Writerrejected

    At least the kid has a good sharp sense of sarcasm (”Officer”) and knows his “yours” from his “you’res.” I wonder if there’s a crime against insulting an officer, though, as opposed to assaulting. Either way, it probably isn’t the smartest move, but it’s some tasty PAN.

    p.s. Happy New Year, all you “Officers” of the PAN.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 7:39 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #16  YMG_mngmnt

    Directed here by a link in a friend’s LiveJournal. That’s really… something. I’m just glad it wasn’t an employee.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 7:40 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #17  Spam

    Dumb-ass. They put chalk-marks on your tires to see if you’ve moved in the last 2 hours. When they come back for a second pass, if you haven’t left the spot, that’s when you get the ticket, even if you have time left on the meter. So not only do you need to pay the ticket but you also wasted those 6 extra extra hours of quarters. Congrats.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 8:20 am   rating: +1  

     
  • #18  fantasy

    Why did he scribble out the time. Doesn’t he realize that by changing the time makes the note not as effective? Did he think58 was definately better than 48, because it took him that long to figure out how long he was able to legally park? I wonder if he really had 6 witnesses? Over a parking ticket????

    Jan 2, 2008 at 8:24 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #19  bellabeastie

    Why not 6 witnesses ?– Snow White had 7 dwarves…. Jesus had twelve disciples. I say give the gamer a pass on the 6. Although I doubt they would be willing to appear and/or chip in to pay the ticket…. probably too busy killing the Demons of Doom or whatever the hell they do………..

    Jan 2, 2008 at 8:46 am   rating: +1  

    • #19.1  secondsout

      I’m with you. Give this dweeb credit for actually having six friends.

      Jan 2, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #20  Team Cassandra

    DrAstroZoom: You’re my hero! I looked at that for SO long to figure out what he’d written….he prolly should have spent more time crossing out “Go fuck yourself” cuz I don’t think that’s gonna win him any points in court. If they bring it up, he should say the next part reads: Sorry - that was uncalled for.

    Now I can FINALLY go play catch up.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 10:30 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #21  Lorelie

    Because five witnesses would be insufficient but with six the officer must now change his mind?

    On the other hand, if they spend their free time in a basement, as described . . . yeah, they really might have nothing better to do than show up to court on their buddy’s behalf.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 10:40 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #22  Canthz_B

    Obviously not a committed gamer if he still cares about things IRL.
    Remember Wow, Indeed?

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #23  chris_mayhem

    if you look closely at the scribbled out stuff @ the bottom, he started to write “go fuck yourself you corrupt piece of shit” but scribbled it out before he could write “shit”. I love this website and check it daily. If I ever run across anything that should go here, I’ll definitely submit it!

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:29 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #24  GhostWriter

    With apologies to Sylvia’s mother…

    Silly young gamesters say Jeremy’s busy, too busy to go move his car
    Silly young gamesters say Jeremy’s crying; to show that the cop went too far
    Silly young gamesters say Jeremy’s pouting, oh why didn’t you leave him alone?
    But the officer, he sets a forty-buck fine, for the parking ticket….

    “Officer Barron, why don’t cha go fuck yourself?”
    He only kept that a while…
    “Officer Barron, I just wanna say, you’re corrupt!”

    Jeremy’s mother says Jeremy’s building, the case he’ll be pleading from jail
    Jeremy’s mother says Jeremy’s bringing, six gamers who’ll swear to his tale
    Jeremy’s mother says, “Please don’t say nothing, they might choose to research my plate.”
    But the judge declares a hundred-forty-bucks more, for the past three tickets….

    “Officer Barron, why don’t cha go fuck yourself?”
    He only kept that a while…
    “Officer Barron, I just wanna say, you’re corrupt!”

    Sing along with Dr. Hook!

    Jan 2, 2008 at 12:33 pm   rating: +4  

    • #24.1  Wade

      OMG, GW!!

      Dr Hook?!?!?!!??

      You are teh winner, lol!! :D

      Jan 2, 2008 at 12:59 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #25  RBman

    The bottom line (I do hate parking meters) is was there time left or not ? If there was and he could prove it, then good for him and give him credit for crossing out what he really felt. If there was no time left, then despite the fact that city counsel’s can’t figure out why people don’t like to go downtown and get harassed by meters, then it would be much smarter to just pay the fine.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 1:07 pm   rating: 0  

    • #25.1  Melomel

      Many towns prohibit “feeding” meters over time - having time left on a single cycle isn’t good enough if the car has been there for multiple hours of the meter maid visiting.

      Jan 3, 2008 at 2:38 am   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #26  Jake

    Like the cop is gona go back to read the note.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 1:39 pm   rating: 0  

    • #26.1  Melomel

      I expect the meter maid comes back at least every hour.

      Jan 3, 2008 at 2:37 am   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #27  Lurker

    From the stirring score to the Broadway smash “Highland Ave. Story:”

    Dear kindly “Sergeant” Barron,
    You gotta understand,
    It’s just our mystic warrin’
    That gets us out of hand.
    Our cleric is a junkie,
    Our DM’s kinda strange.
    That is why my meter’s out of change!

    Gee, “Officer” Barron, we’re very upset;
    We didn’t get the time that fifty cents oughta get.
    We ain’t no delinquents,
    We ain’t done no theft,
    We says we got two minutes left!

    Dear kindly “Judge,” your “Honor,”
    The “coppers” treat me rough.
    The meter had time on her,
    A quarter ain’t enough!
    I didn’t wanna park there,
    But time was runnin’ short.
    Leapin’ lizards! That’s why I’m in court!

    “Officer” Barron, you’re really a square;
    This boy don’t need a judge, he put a quarter in there!
    It’s just his Dodge Dart that’s pulled up to the curb.
    He’s psychologic’ly disturbed!

    Jan 2, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: +2  

    • #27.1  WanderingPenguin

      Niiiiiiice. Is there a dance number anywhere for that one? ;) Just beautiful!

      Jan 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #28  Erica C

    2:17: Wow. That was incredible!

    Jan 2, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 0  

    • #28.1  Lurker

      Yes - instead of finger-snapping, the dancers make little quotation marks in the air with their fingers.

      Jan 4, 2008 at 1:34 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #29  Slummer-ville Resident

    Wade’s right
    No person shall park a vehicle for a period of time longer than two hours …that’s the way it is in the city.

    and this pic must be REALLY old. they don’t have these types of tickets anymore. not for years! they use them electronic printout thingys that are ORANGE not blue.

    maybe his buddies were just messing with him. i would too if a dude set his timer every friggin 8 minutes.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 4:33 pm   rating: +3  

    • #29.1  Wade

      I didn’t think about the prank possibility, lol.

      *sniff* What a beautiful thought. *wipes away tear of joy*

      :D

      Jan 2, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #30  mere

    i’m surprised this fella has a car.
    now, i’m no expert in handwriting analysis, but my guess is that he’s early 20’s, still a virgin, and SHOULD be riding a bike.

    Jan 2, 2008 at 4:37 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #31  Banky

    Slummer-ville Resident, police officers still use those tickets - the meter maids are on the computer-generated machines, but cops still carry the books. (Also, please rep our city responsibly - it’s Cambriville now, not Slummerville!)

    Jan 2, 2008 at 4:49 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #32  Will Markusen

    Love it..! Reminded me of this which I stumbled upon a few months ago. Classic..! Can’t wait to use one of my own!

    http://www.hadtosay.com/view/104

    Jan 2, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #33  Will Markusen

    Sorry, one more I found amusing. Have passive-aggressive notes gone digital?

    http://www.hadtosay.com/view/106

    Jan 2, 2008 at 7:33 pm   rating: 0  

    • #33.1  WanderingPenguin

      Um….isn’t this site passive/aggressive notes gone digital? :)

      Jan 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #34  ro-nonymous

    that “officer” was fucking delicious.

    sorry. couldn’t help myself.

    Jan 4, 2008 at 10:16 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #35  Bebo

    This is what happens when nerds aren’t kept in check.

    By the way, what’s with getting up every 8 minutes to feed the meter? You can’t put 2 quarters in at once?

    Jan 4, 2008 at 4:34 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #36  Rise of Niche Blogging Empires at sablog.com

    [...] Check out this one. (to a cop) [...]

    Jan 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #37  Chris

    Yeah, this is amazing. The ticket isn’t for not feeding the meter, the ticket is for parking there longer than the 2-hour limit. Idiot. Re-feeding the meter is illegal.

    Jan 28, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #38  Anonygamer

    This cracks me up, if only because I had an extensive conversation with the Your Move Games folks at the Origins convention. Good stuff.

    Jul 1, 2008 at 2:43 am   rating: 0  

     
  • #39  bobby

    even if he kept putting money in the meter, there’s probably a two hour time limit.

    Jul 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm   rating: 0