Of course, this person might not have as many problems if he would stop brushing his gums so hard. Maybe switch to a toothbrush instead of brushing your teeth with a shingle. Are you really telling me that you can’t find soft-bristle toothbrushes in a store without your dentist giving it to you “special?”
because he loves it and feels happy about a solution to his problemed gums, and was raised in an all white neighborhood with good christian parents, and his underwear was labeled at summer camp as well and that is supposed to mean safe and sacred!!!
I absolutely agree. Keep the darn thing in your room if you know someone’s going to use it (and you’re trying to avoid it). Looks like “SOMEONE ” is just looking to get “victimized”.
If he was that intense about his toothbrush he should have just hidden it. Duh. Or, he used it in a drunken stupor and forgot. Asshat. Team Stop Brushing So F’ing Hard!
And the Church Lady said, Oh! The dentist gave us our own toothbrush, hmmm? And we thought so hard much of ourselves that we wrote our little name on it, I see. Well, isn’t that special. Who could make a person so prideful? Ldt me think…Could it be SATAN !!!
You’re too young. It’s a Church Lady reference from old school SNL. Actually I’m too young too, I’m not sure why I know that. Unless you’re “huh” ing why it’s being used in this instance in which case I can’t help.
I say “WHOEVER” had better pack his/her things and leave. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Any time someone writes a PA note on butcher’s paper they mean freakin’ business!
My, I think the “Church Lady” may have something to do with such a clean toilet! *leaves room with her little mouth all puckered up* Sure showed him he was special.
What was the toothbrush’s name (Fuller) and just how did it learn to write? If he’s brand new, how did he know writing it would not stop a toothbrush tort?
Can I stop asking questions now?
Where did you get yo’ toothbrush from?
I got it from my Dentist, I Got it from My Dentist
Where did you get MY toothbrush from?
I got it from yo’ bathroom
I got it from yo’ bathroom
Cleaned the bathroom from head to toe
don’t know if it’s a good model though
Where did ya’ get that toothbrush from?
I got it from my Dentist
I got it from my Dentist
Since this guy’s gums are “deep purple” . . . to the tune of “Hush” . . .
I got tender little gums, I brush too rough
No doubt about it, they’re red and puffed
It’s the best brush my dentist gave,
I wrote “Chase” but I couldn’t save,
Yeah, “Chase” couldn’t save.
Bristles soft like a baby’s bum
Only tickle when touching my gum
You grabbed my brush to scrub the sink,
I can’t stand it, yeah,
“Whoever,” you stink.
Na na na . . .
Brush, brush,
My dentist gave it special to me, now
Brush, brush
You took my Oral B
so my gums hurt terribly now
Brush, brush
Softer bristles than you can buy now,
Brush, brush, I wrote my name
But I’ll have to brush and cry now
Brush, brush
I miss it early in the morning,
Brush, brush,
Late in the evening . . .
Simple solution
Hide your new one
Put this one back out on a note
“Community toothbrush. I won’t say where it’s been, but the sun “don”t”shine there. Feel free!”
Now this is a good idea. I would scrub the grout or the toilet first, leave the toothbrush out for “whoever” to use, then leave a PAN after “whoever” has already used it. Less of the angry PAN, more of the “serves you right” PAN.
You can too get that at the store. That’s the exact same toothbrush I use. It came right off the shelf at CVS. It was the only one I could find with extra soft bristles … well, at that particular store, on that particular day.
Not saying that makes the roommate using it ok, just saying it makes the dentist’s claim of its specialness a little suspicious
I’d say it made the dentist’s bill a little higher as well! This putz just paid $25 for a “special” OTC toothbrush!
What a Maroon!
What a Ta-rah-rah-boon-diay!
More like an “OCD” toothbrush . . . on his next trip to the clinic, the dentist will no doubt sell him the toothbrush-on-a-chain with bristle sensors and motion alarm . . . for a slightly higher fee, special two-way medicine chest mirror with micro-cam, AND teach him how to use floss to make handcuffs!
Ok first question…How did he KNOW someone used his brush?? Was there hair in it or something? Secondly, how may room mates does this guy have that he can’t narrow it down better than a “whoever”? I think he has bigger issues than brushing to hard…who puts all that crap in a note and then tapes the toothbrush to it any how??
OK, we’re talking head case here, folks.
Anyone who tapes a toothbrush to the paper before writing the note, and then includes a section wherein the toothbrush is talking to them as they write, needs help a dentist cannot provide.
Even our most honed PANskills cannot help this loser.
I can’t help but think of the dread and dismay the people in the dentist’s office feel when they realize that today is Chase’s Appointment Day. I imagine Velma, the wily long-time dental assistant carefully scheduling her colonoscopy for Chase’s Appointment Day, leaving the less-wary receptionist, Linda, to fill in for her that day. Doctor Colgate arrives in the morning, and gives a glance at the day’s patient list and immediately retreats to the exam room for a whiff of the happy gas. Shari The Hygenist wonders if she can get her husband, who is on the fire department, to arrive in his truck and evacuate the building due to a dangerous chemical spill in the area.
The clock ticks inexorably away as 11:35 (Zero Hour) approaches, and in comes Chase. He shows his bleeding gums to Linda. He shows his gums to the patients in the waiting room, he complains to Shari that she’s poking his gums too hard and whines for 45 minutes at Dr. Colgate about the hint of pink in his sink. Finally, they are nearly rid of him. As he stops at the desk to make his next appointment in six month’s time, Linda has a brainstorm! She disappears for a moment and returns bearing the Oral B Advantage® Artica™ (Soft Bristle, Size 40, blue), saying in a very earnest tone, “Dr. Colgate would like you to have this special brush. You can’t get it in stores. It will help you with your gums.”
As Chase leaves the building, cradling his glorious toothbrush, Dr. Colgate, Shari and Linda watch him go, safe in the knowledge that they will not see him again for six whole months. On her lunch break, Linda plans a trip to Costa Rica in six months time, and purchases non-refundable airplane tickets. Screw Velma. She can deal with the little whiner next time.
As long as we’re doing Toothbrush Confessions, I once had a live-in girlfriend with serious toothbrush-exclusivity issues . . . so I used to wet her toothbrush every morning, just to make her think I’d used it. Then she started leaving mine on the toilet tank lid, just to make me think . . . I hope . . . Ah, good times.
I think if you are faced with a toothbrush with cloggy brown bits all over it from under the rim of the bowl, it’s definitely going to turn step-dad’s stomach more than one YIT’s friend may have lightly rinsed after the act, that step-dad unknowingly uses. In a way, it’s an honest bit of aggression!
Then again, it happened more than once? Maybe that was a very clean bowl.
Grimfool, doesn’t everybody have serious toothbrush-exclusivity issues?
I’m talking SERIOUS . . . She moved in, I bought a toothbrush for her as a symbol of our living-in-sinness, and for two weeks I was reminded daily (!) not to use her toothbrush, her hairbrush, her floss . . . after she used my razor to shave her legs, I thought covert PA psych ops measures were warranted. It never was really an issue between us, though, just more of a running joke. Her BIG issue was whether the toilet paper hung over or under the roll . . .
Well, if you put it like that…
Yeah, I’ve met the toilet paper people before! They made me think twice before I put a new roll in the holder(damn, new neurosis). It actually does make more sense for the paper to hang over…depending on the holder.
I guess because it was “her” floss (that I bought). She also used her own “special” soap, shampoo and rinse. Yet she would drink from my coffee cup . . . Interesting girl, and definitely not a bad girlfriend, just a bit obsessed with “her” personal hygeine items.
C’mon, PANcakes . . . what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done with a toothbrush?
EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!
135 responses so far ↓
#1 secondsout
When it says, brush my… It really makes one first wonder, just what the hell is this person going to brush?
Jan 5, 2008 at 5:59 pm rating: +1
#2 groovyyaya
Look under the toothbrush… it continues to say “my gums”
That is so freaking gross… using a roommate’s toothbrush.
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:02 pm rating: 0
#3 secondsout
Of course, if this is really the biggest problem in this guy’s life, he’s not really doing so badly.
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:02 pm rating: +1
#4 secondsout
Of course, this person might not have as many problems if he would stop brushing his gums so hard. Maybe switch to a toothbrush instead of brushing your teeth with a shingle. Are you really telling me that you can’t find soft-bristle toothbrushes in a store without your dentist giving it to you “special?”
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: +1
#5 fantasy
Isn’t that “special” doesn’t he know the Dentist gives everyone a toothbrush!
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: +2
#6 Team Cassandra
Wow, that’s sad. Is there only one store in his town?
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:14 pm rating: +1
#7 Team Cassandra
I wonder what they used it for - scrubbing the grout? Don’t laugh - some people enjoy that kind of thing.
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:15 pm rating: +2
#8 fantasy
I think it is hilarious that he wrote his name on his special toothbrush. Why?
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:17 pm rating: 0
#9 zenvelo
who did he tell that writing his name wouldn’t do any good? If he knew someone would use his toothbrush, why didn’t he put it somewhere else?
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:23 pm rating: +1
#10 amy d
Here’s a solution Mr. McWhiney Entitlement, listen carefully: Don’t brush your gums so hard !
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:23 pm rating: +4
#11 Tyler
I wonder if “whoever” is the person CHASE told writing his name wouldn’t change a thing?
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm rating: +1
#12 Kelly
If he was that intense about his toothbrush he should have just hidden it. Duh. Or, he used it in a drunken stupor and forgot. Asshat. Team Stop Brushing So F’ing Hard!
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:26 pm rating: +2
#13 fantasy
Of course they didn’t want to use thier own. Maybe that is why there is no longer a ring in the toilet…eeeewwww in reply to #7
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: +1
#14 amy d
And the Church Lady said, Oh! The dentist gave us our own toothbrush, hmmm? And we thought so hard much of ourselves that we wrote our little name on it, I see. Well, isn’t that special. Who could make a person so prideful? Ldt me think…Could it be SATAN !!!
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:32 pm rating: +6
#15 Wade
Those soft-bristle toothbrushes are perfect for cleaning under the rim of the toilet - doesn’t scratch the porcelain.
I’m just sayin’.
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:35 pm rating: +2
#16 monsieurjohn
who the hell is sanitary enough to brush regularly but unsanitary enough to use whatever toothbrush is within easiest reach?? who does that?
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:36 pm rating: +2
#17 Canthz_B
I say “WHOEVER” had better pack his/her things and leave. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Any time someone writes a PA note on butcher’s paper they mean freakin’ business!
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:38 pm rating: +4
#18 Canthz_B
“A brush especially for me, Dr. Payne? I’ll bet you say that to all the gingiva!”
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:41 pm rating: +3
#19 fantasy
My, I think the “Church Lady” may have something to do with such a clean toilet! *leaves room with her little mouth all puckered up* Sure showed him he was special.
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:42 pm rating: 0
#20 Canthz_B
I cannot agree with the note writer.
I write my name on a regular basis and no one ever uses my toothbrush. Maybe she misspelled her name.
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:48 pm rating: +3
#21 Canthz_B
Who owns this toothbrush, Bam-Bam Rubble?
Thanks folks, try the veal!
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:51 pm rating: +3
#22 Canthz_B
What was the toothbrush’s name (Fuller) and just how did it learn to write? If he’s brand new, how did he know writing it would not stop a toothbrush tort?
Can I stop asking questions now?
Jan 5, 2008 at 6:58 pm rating: +2
#23 fantasy
Where did you get yo’ toothbrush from?
I got it from my Dentist, I Got it from My Dentist
Where did you get MY toothbrush from?
I got it from yo’ bathroom
I got it from yo’ bathroom
Cleaned the bathroom from head to toe
don’t know if it’s a good model though
Where did ya’ get that toothbrush from?
I got it from my Dentist
I got it from my Dentist
Jan 5, 2008 at 7:02 pm rating: +8
#24 Grimfool
Since this guy’s gums are “deep purple” . . . to the tune of “Hush” . . .
I got tender little gums, I brush too rough
No doubt about it, they’re red and puffed
It’s the best brush my dentist gave,
I wrote “Chase” but I couldn’t save,
Yeah, “Chase” couldn’t save.
Bristles soft like a baby’s bum
Only tickle when touching my gum
You grabbed my brush to scrub the sink,
I can’t stand it, yeah,
“Whoever,” you stink.
Na na na . . .
Brush, brush,
My dentist gave it special to me, now
Brush, brush
You took my Oral B
so my gums hurt terribly now
Brush, brush
Softer bristles than you can buy now,
Brush, brush, I wrote my name
But I’ll have to brush and cry now
Brush, brush
I miss it early in the morning,
Brush, brush,
Late in the evening . . .
Jan 5, 2008 at 7:07 pm rating: +7
#25 Ralphy
Simple solution
Hide your new one
Put this one back out on a note
“Community toothbrush. I won’t say where it’s been, but the sun “don”t”shine there. Feel free!”
Jan 5, 2008 at 7:12 pm rating: +1
#26 Aubrey
You can too get that at the store. That’s the exact same toothbrush I use. It came right off the shelf at CVS. It was the only one I could find with extra soft bristles … well, at that particular store, on that particular day.
Not saying that makes the roommate using it ok, just saying it makes the dentist’s claim of its specialness a little suspicious
Jan 5, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: +1
#27 Denagh
Ok first question…How did he KNOW someone used his brush?? Was there hair in it or something? Secondly, how may room mates does this guy have that he can’t narrow it down better than a “whoever”? I think he has bigger issues than brushing to hard…who puts all that crap in a note and then tapes the toothbrush to it any how??
Jan 5, 2008 at 7:18 pm rating: +2
#28 Sarah
Ick. Just ick.
Jan 5, 2008 at 7:57 pm rating: 0
#29 Canthz_B
OK, we’re talking head case here, folks.
Anyone who tapes a toothbrush to the paper before writing the note, and then includes a section wherein the toothbrush is talking to them as they write, needs help a dentist cannot provide.
Even our most honed PANskills cannot help this loser.
Jan 5, 2008 at 8:02 pm rating: +4
#30 Sue Do Nim
dear cha e,
i said write, not print. duh.
hugs,
whoever
Jan 5, 2008 at 8:17 pm rating: +1
#31 anglophile
I can’t help but think of the dread and dismay the people in the dentist’s office feel when they realize that today is Chase’s Appointment Day. I imagine Velma, the wily long-time dental assistant carefully scheduling her colonoscopy for Chase’s Appointment Day, leaving the less-wary receptionist, Linda, to fill in for her that day. Doctor Colgate arrives in the morning, and gives a glance at the day’s patient list and immediately retreats to the exam room for a whiff of the happy gas. Shari The Hygenist wonders if she can get her husband, who is on the fire department, to arrive in his truck and evacuate the building due to a dangerous chemical spill in the area.
The clock ticks inexorably away as 11:35 (Zero Hour) approaches, and in comes Chase. He shows his bleeding gums to Linda. He shows his gums to the patients in the waiting room, he complains to Shari that she’s poking his gums too hard and whines for 45 minutes at Dr. Colgate about the hint of pink in his sink. Finally, they are nearly rid of him. As he stops at the desk to make his next appointment in six month’s time, Linda has a brainstorm! She disappears for a moment and returns bearing the Oral B Advantage® Artica™ (Soft Bristle, Size 40, blue), saying in a very earnest tone, “Dr. Colgate would like you to have this special brush. You can’t get it in stores. It will help you with your gums.”
As Chase leaves the building, cradling his glorious toothbrush, Dr. Colgate, Shari and Linda watch him go, safe in the knowledge that they will not see him again for six whole months. On her lunch break, Linda plans a trip to Costa Rica in six months time, and purchases non-refundable airplane tickets. Screw Velma. She can deal with the little whiner next time.
Jan 5, 2008 at 8:31 pm rating: +15
#32 fantasy
If Chase has such sensitive gums, What would he floss with? He must not that is why his gums are so sensitive. Yucky! Bleeding gums.
Jan 5, 2008 at 8:35 pm rating: +1
#33 Yuck in Tennessee
I have a friend who used to use her step-dad’s toothbrush to clean the toilet. And then didn’t wash it after. eww!
Jan 5, 2008 at 8:51 pm rating: 0