the holy see of the w.c.

January 6th, 2008 · 92 comments

octavio in munich says that his landlord (who shares the same apartment) is a regular high priest of paternalistic little notes — the entire flat is covered with them. on the bathroom wall, for example, this glorious collage is what stares back at those seated on the throne. (altogether now: “holy shiße!”)

going OUT?…
must turn the light OFFFF!!!

so, then…
byeeeee!…

please!!!
use the toilet brush!!!

EMAIL THIS POST TO A PAL!

FILED UNDER: bathroom · deutsche · german · lighting · munich · toilet · turning on/off

92 responses so far ↓

#1 Kelly

The Pope, he blesses your Weiner Schitzel when you use the toilet brush. Jah?

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:36 pm rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #1.1 Crash
  
  Nah…he’ll send the 3rd riech to visit if you don’t.
  (ummm….yah….)
  Anyway….
  
  Jan 6, 2008 at 11:27 pm rating: +1
- #1.2 Jerry
  
  He’ll send you the “third smell”?
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 3:24 am rating: +1
- #1.3 WickedLady
  
  Das dritte Reich, the third kingdom.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 7:15 am rating: 0
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#2 amazon

I don’t think I could pee with the pope watching…

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm rating: +3

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#3 Canthz_B

Zeig power conservation and clean potties!

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:41 pm rating: +1

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#4 Crash

For a moment there…at first glance, it looked like he was hailing Hitler…but than again…

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:42 pm rating: 0

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- #4.1 Team Cassandra
  
  Well, actually - it kinda sounds like Hitler wrote it. (Too soon?)
  
  Jan 6, 2008 at 10:59 pm rating: +4
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#5 Crash

So do I use the toilet brush to turn off the lights before I leave ?

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:42 pm rating: +7

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- #5.1 Crash
  
  Or do I turn out the lights, leave and then use the toilet brush…and what do I do with the toilet brush after I leave ?
  
  Jan 6, 2008 at 10:11 pm rating: +1
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#6 Dent

somebody likessss to use a few to many s’sssss at the end of their wordssss!!!!! Ja!

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:43 pm rating: 0

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#7 boone

ya, the pope looks like a freaky creep in that photo, deff would be disterbing

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:43 pm rating: 0

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- #7.1 Dent
  
  he looks like he’s about to get a bit too friendly with the “Als’ Den Tchussss”
  
  Jan 6, 2008 at 9:45 pm rating: 0
- #7.2 Josh
  
  what do you mean? he always looks like that.
  
  Jan 8, 2008 at 12:53 am rating: 0
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#8 Wade

Wait… his landlord is THE POPE?!?!

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: +2

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- #8.1 Canthz_B
  
  Makes sense…the voice of the lord in the land and all that.
  
  Jan 6, 2008 at 9:54 pm rating: +1
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#9 Canthz_B

Ent ov poop iz lightz out!

–By order of Field Marshal von Kancopp

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:53 pm rating: +4

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#10 amy d

Jesus wept at the sight of his earthly emissary used for such base purposes. Then he used Chase’s toothbrush to clean the toilet and turned the light off, giggling. The Lord works in mysterious ways, indeed.

Jan 6, 2008 at 9:57 pm rating: +14

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#11 Canthz_B

Acch! Kidz now dayz. Vee never hat zeez problemz in zeh goot olt dayz. Leef zeh lightz on…shot! Dirty toilet…shot!
I miz zeh olt order! Zingz ver zo zimple zen.

Jan 6, 2008 at 10:01 pm rating: +2

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#12 Sarah

My German degree just came in handy!

Jan 6, 2008 at 10:38 pm rating: +1

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#13 ER

I love rhymes in German! German rap, for example, must be one of the best things in the world!

Jan 6, 2008 at 11:36 pm rating: +1

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- #13.1 Juliet
  
  Then you must listen to Die Fantastichen Vier. I love them! Who else can you recommend?
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 11:06 am rating: 0
- #13.2 Juliet
  
  Messer, schaerer, garbel licht fuer kleine kindern nicht!
  
  Knife, scissors, (garbel? can’t remember, something sharp?) lights aren’t for small children.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 11:10 am rating: +1
- #13.3 Juliet
  
  Brave Maedchen
  Kommen in den Himmel
  
  Boese Maedchen
  Kommen ueberall hin.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 11:17 am rating: 0
- #13.4 delfin
  
  not ‘Garbel’, it’s ‘Gabel’, meaning fork.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 3:17 pm rating: 0
- #13.5 ER
  
  I have a Fantastischen Vier CD, but I don’t know what I did with it! Another good one is Freundeskreis, then there’s Die Prinzen which we listened to in German class. That’s been since the late 90s though so I’m sure there’s better stuff out there now…
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm rating: 0
- #13.6 ER
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jvX_yMxc-8
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 5:22 pm rating: 0
- #13.7 Juliet
  
  I have “Die 4 Dimension” and “Laushgift”. I haven’t heard “MFG” before, but it’s good. I’ll look up the others you suggested on youtube. Have you heard Der Wolf? I have the “Gibt’s Doch Gar Nicht” single.
  
  Thanks so much!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 7:24 pm rating: 0
- #13.8 Juliet
  
  Couldn’t find “Gibt’s Doch Gar Nicht” but this is an excellent example of his stuff:
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUYX2AUTZmw
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 7:27 pm rating: 0
- #13.9 WickedLady
  
  I really love E Nomine. Especially the songs Mitternacht and Lucifer
  
  Jan 8, 2008 at 10:14 am rating: 0
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#14 Canthz_B

A picture of The Pope posted in the john? Talk about being a motivator…that’s dedication!

BTW, was he having a Hitler Youth flashback in that photo?

Jan 7, 2008 at 12:03 am rating: +2

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- #14.1 Crash
  
  Old habits die hard C.B.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:40 am rating: +1
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#15 itsmeek

RULE # 356 NEVER, NEVER, USE ANOTHER MANS BRUSH.

Jan 7, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: +2

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- #15.1 Team Cassandra
  
  For real. Didn’t we JUST go over that?
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:22 am rating: 0
- #15.2 itsmeek
  
  EXACTLY!!!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:26 am rating: 0
- #15.3 Canthz_B
  
  *
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: 0
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#16 Grimfool

Nein, nein, benutzen Sie nicht die Toilettebürste! Es wurde mir von meinem Zahnarzt gegeben und sehr weiche Borsten hat! Mein gott, Ich erklärte Ihnen, daß meinen Namen schreibend, kein unterscheiden würde!

Jan 7, 2008 at 12:29 am rating: +1

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- #16.1 Grimfool
  
  Or, no, no, don’t use the toilet brush! It was given to me by my dentist, and has very soft bristles! My god, I told you writing my name on it wouldn’t make any difference!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:30 am rating: +6
- #16.2 Team Cassandra
  
  Babelfish says!:
  
  No, no, you use not the toilet brush! It me of my dentist given and much yield bristles has! My God, I it explained to you that writing, none would differentiate between my name!
  
  (damn! beat me to it!)
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: +3
- #16.3 secondsout
  
  I tried using the toilet brush, but indeed the bristles are really too hard. I’m going back to using toilet paper instead.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 4:02 pm rating: +4
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#17 Team Cassandra

Ooops!

Jan 7, 2008 at 12:31 am rating: 0

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- #17.1 Grimfool
  
  Yeah, I used der Babel Fische to translate English to Deutsch . . . and I forgot to “sign” it with Chase’s name! Verfluchte!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:36 am rating: 0
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#18 Grimfool

Übrigens war, der Papst das Bumsen köstlich! Jetzt muß ich das unitard tragen?

Jan 7, 2008 at 12:32 am rating: +1

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- #18.1 Team Cassandra
  
  By the way, the Pope the Bumsen was koestlich! Now do I have to carry unit pool of broadcasting corporations?
  
  WTF???
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:34 am rating: 0
- #18.2 Grimfool
  
  Um, supposed to say “By the way, the Pope was (gentle carressing) delicious! Now I must wear the unitard?”
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:37 am rating: +1
- #18.3 Team Cassandra
  
  O well, in that case: yes. You must wear the unitard.
  
  OR
  
  Carry the unit pool of broadcasting corporations - whichever you prefer.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: +2
- #18.4 Canthz_B
  
  Maybe we should stick to B-movie German accented English. I don’t want the lawyers for a pool of broadcasting corporations after my kiester! LOL
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:45 am rating: 0
- #18.5 Team Cassandra
  
  Kiester! Haha! (That’s German, right?)
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 12:55 am rating: 0
- #18.6 Grimfool
  
  Well, I’m from the south, so whenever I use my B-movie German accent, it sounds like someone poured molasses all over Mel Brooks’ sauerkraut . . . “Ya’ll see zis here vat I haff told ya’ll?”
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 1:15 am rating: +6
- #18.7 Sloper
  
  Kiester is Yiddish, so Mel Brooks could well have employed it (hold the molasses, though).
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 4:16 am rating: 0
- #18.8 Juliet
  
  Das ist krass!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 11:12 am rating: 0
- #18.9 secondsout
  
  I think that instead of the unitard, given the language of the PAN, you should wear leiderhosen instead. Just to change things up a little bit. They can still be unwashed leiderhosen.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 3:58 pm rating: +4
- #18.10 laure
  
  ‘Lederhose’ are leather trousers.
  I imagine that ‘Leiderhosen’ would be ‘regrettable trousers,’ which would be a poor choice, indeed. Perhaps the unitard would be a better decision.
  
  Jan 22, 2008 at 4:55 pm rating: 0
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#19 strongbadia7

according to babelfish, the headline reads ‘the rough glaubenfest’. thanks, internet, i couldn’t figure that one out on my own.

Jan 7, 2008 at 12:44 am rating: 0

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- #19.1 Jerry
  
  It says “The big festival of belief”.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 3:28 am rating: 0
- #19.2 Sloper
  
  Babelfish is worthless. Go team learn a second language!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 4:17 am rating: 0
- #19.3 Grimfool
  
  I’m still working on my third language (English>Spanish>Korean) so forgive me if Deutsch is not a priority . . . and Babel Fische is NOT worthless . . . want to have some fun? Use Babelfish to translate English song lyrics into Korean, then copy/paste and translate them back into English, then send THAT to a friend and ask them which song it is!
  Every semester, I fail at least one student who has taken a Korean text and Babelfished (sure, it’s a verb) it into English, and then hand it into me as their essay!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 6:14 am rating: 0
- #19.4 Lorelie
  
  What’s fun is when you’re living in Italy and an official looking flyer is posted to your front gate. I’ve studied Spanish and French but had just moved to Italy so my language skills hadn’t yet progressed much beyond ordering dinner and shopping.
  
  Babel fish to the rescue! Along with a pocket sized English-Italian dictionary, Babelfish helped me figure out there would be a scheduled outage of a utility on a certain date. What I didn’t know until the power went out was which utility it would be.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 8:39 am rating: 0
- #19.5 Rocky
  
  Ogni giorno vissuto in Italia e una giornata pieno di belle sorprese! Oggi non ce corrente, e domani non ci sara aqua……
  Questo e veramente “La vita sul orlo”!
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 8:56 am rating: 0
- #19.6 park rose
  
  19.4 - see 18.1
  The utility in question was surely the unit pool of broadcasting corporations !
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 9:36 am rating: +1
- #19.7 Team Cassandra
  
  19.5 Sul orlo del gabinetto?
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 2:13 pm rating: 0
- #19.8 WanderingPenguin
  
  W.R.T. the message in that magazine picture - someone here asked me what it said in English and I told them it said, roughly: “The Big Faithorama”. Even though I have seen the “true” translation in 19.1, I have to say… I like mine better.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 5:15 pm rating: +1
- #19.9 Paragoddess
  
  Ok, so I took Latin for eight years (4 in high school, 4 in college). Let me give this a go….
  Every day lived in Italy is one beautiful full day of surprise! Today is not certain, and tomorrow is not ours…… This and truly “the life on the hem”!
  
  Close? not so much?
  “Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris Italiam…” and that’s all I remember
  
  Jan 8, 2008 at 9:13 am rating: 0
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#20 Sloper

Licht an, licht aus. Das ist bestimmt dem Papst scheissegal. Und wieso streckt er sein Hand aus? Sucht nach seine Zahnbuerste.

Jan 7, 2008 at 4:06 am rating: 0

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- #20.1 Grimfool
  
  Well, in fairness to His Popeness (a phrase I never thought I’d use), I think he’s just waving.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 6:10 am rating: 0
- #20.2 amy d
  
  Better that than His Poopiness.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 9:33 am rating: +2
- #20.3 park rose
  
  At 20.1,
  not drowning?
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 9:37 am rating: +1
- #20.4 modysoul
  
  park rose, I spit out water at that one…
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 1:32 pm rating: +1
- #20.5 Canthz_B
  
  Not Holy Water, I hope.
  
  Jan 7, 2008 at 1:42 pm rating: +2
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#21 Sloper

I find the sing-song quality that the note invokes amusing (the too-long repetition of “S”, the Bavarian accented “Liecht”). There’s passive-aggressive gold in this one. The red letters and the huge handwriting belie a frenzy that the cutesy tone tries to cover. Ein Meisterstueck.

Jan 7, 2008 at 4:11 am rating: +2

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#22 WickedLady

Hier spricht das Klo: “Ich bin der Führer, und Sie sollen mir folgen. Sonst werde ich Hitler sended, um Ihren Hintern zu kicken!”

Jan 7, 2008 at 7:23 am rating: 0

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#23 MJaz

My German husband says that posting notes on the back of toilets is kind of a national sport. When he was in the Army, his Seargent posted a big piece of cardboard, with a note asking the soldiers to please use that for thei

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

the holy see of the w.c.

January 6th, 2008 · 92 comments

92 responses so far ↓