mara in minneapolis ( average temperature in january: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store – and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. no, like many workers, the crazy person driving mara crazy was her boss — the author of the masterpiece below.
mara says she lasted three weeks before her boss made her so angry that she walked out and never looked back. (no, not even to leave a little surprise behind in the bath–er, fitting room. that’s management-level thinking, folks.)
related: when nature calls
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130 responses so far ↓
#1 anglophile
(I am a tool that’s why I am the manager).
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:08 pm rating: +13
#2 Nix
Beware of little people with big badges!
Whatta bitch.
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:09 pm rating: +3
#3 Wade
Warms up from the lights?
What are they illuminating the store with - torches?
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:14 pm rating: +6
#4 Canthz_B
“I am the Heat Miser. If you don’t like the temperature, I will be the Wardrobe Nazi as well. I will not set the thermostat to turn the heat up an hour before my serfs arrive. Their work will generate the requisite heat for their survival. Now, back to my office where my space heater awaits me!”
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:17 pm rating: +4
#5 morpho aurora
and as soon as i take off this sweatshirt, i’m going to wrap it around your throat until you turn blue. and die.
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:19 pm rating: +7
#6 Mishee
I hate to do this to the PAN Goddess, but this IS PAN, so anything posted on this page is fair game (including the google ads) -
Umm, what the hell is this??
…before her boss her so angry that she walked…”
I love ya Kerry!!!
(Ok, possibly I am a tad bitter since my submission hasn’t been posted yet! let me take you on a “guilt trip” Goddess!) lol!
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:25 pm rating: +1
#7 Canthz_B
Dear Manager,
Making us turn as blue as Smurfs is a great concept, huh? Maybe that’s why you manage a thrift store!
—The Thermostat Touch-ers
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:25 pm rating: +3
#8 Mishee
Shit like this is why I live in California. It got down to 50 today! Brrrrrr!!!
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:30 pm rating: 0
#9 Crash
She sounds a little fridged to me…
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: +5
#10 Canthz_B
So now I know what “cold sales” means!
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:45 pm rating: 0
#11 Canthz_B
Sign seen in Minneapolis:
Stripper Thrift Shop…The more you shop, the more we drop!
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:50 pm rating: +3
#12 Mishee
What happens if you are super cold, but don’t have a sweatshirt so you oogle someone’s sweatshirt in their cart? Do you get in double trouble?
Jan 9, 2008 at 9:56 pm rating: +1
#13 Crash
Okay, what kind of hard work is involved working in a Thrift store that a person would warm up in those temperatures without heat ?
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:00 pm rating: +1
#14 Tim
I would just turn up the thermostats full-blast to piss her off. How do you like those heating bills now, bitch? Huh?
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:01 pm rating: +2
#15 Mishee
I just pray to God that there are no defenseless Hamsters in that store!
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:05 pm rating: +2
#16 amy d
ThermostatS?? This must be a huge thrift store to require more than one AC/heating unit. The manager clearly has a relative in the heating and cooling business. It was her blatant nepotism that caused the financial set-back wherein there was no money left to use the units.
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:10 pm rating: +2
#17 Canthz_B
Since the manager is depending primarily on the illumination system and the sun for heat, can we assume this thrift shop specializes in light clothing?
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:11 pm rating: +3
#18 Grimfool
I do not know how to use punctuation especially commas correctly that is why I am the manager.
Signed Ebenezer.
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:19 pm rating: +5
#19 mamason
Is this store run by Mr. Crabbs?
*i watch way too much Spongebob*
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: 0
#20 raiseyourglass
Don’t know ’bout ya’ll… but when I get cold I usually gotsta pee…
hmm might be the reason for the fitting room prob.
Team turn it up!!!
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:24 pm rating: +2
#21 raiseyourglass
Whoa! Hot flash!
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:32 pm rating: +2
#22 lola
See, this is unfamiliar territory for me.
My ex-boss insisted I touch his thermostat… usually while removing my sweatshirt.
Jan 9, 2008 at 10:36 pm rating: +8
#23 Kelly
“That’s why I’m a manger. Because I don’t do actual work, so I have plenty of time to make stupid signs for stupid rules. Now…have we discussed your requisite flair on the sweatshirt? Or the need to obnoxiously greet all incoming customers?”
Jan 9, 2008 at 11:11 pm rating: +2
#24 Grimfool
Taken too long, someone has to do it . . . Foreigner’s “Cold As Ice”
We’re cold as ice
You’re willing to sacrifice our health
We never touch the dial –
With worker’s comp we’ll file, you know
I’ve been cold before
But now my fingers are blue
Someone crapped on the floor
And it’s addressed to you
You’re saving some dimes
But scaring away
Employees and shoppers
And someday, you’ll pay!
What a cold concept!
You thought of it yourself you say
You want the temperature kept
So the ice in your blood won’t melt away.
I’m working ‘til four
So I can feel sunshine
Then I’m out the door
To a warmer clime
You’re staying behind
The sign is a judge
Your thermostat heart
Will be forever untouched.
Jan 9, 2008 at 11:25 pm rating: +12
#25 MJaz
Nothing like topless thrift store employees to get those sales up, eh? Shake it baby!
Jan 9, 2008 at 11:26 pm rating: +2
#26 Grimfool
Too bad Mara quit so soon . . . she missed the next “concept” from the manager . . .
NO ONE IS TO TOUCH THE LIGHT SWITCH.
It is always dark in the morning so wear a miner’s helmet, when it brightens up from the sun and my incandescent ego and I hope because your chattering teeth emit sparks, take it off. What a great concept. I couldn’t get hired at Taco Bell that’s why mom made me the manager here.
Jan 9, 2008 at 11:42 pm rating: +11
#27 Canthz_B