Or possilly, that no body ‘b’ there

January 12th, 2008 · 74 comments

Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!

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UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!

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related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · California · sad face · Silicon Valley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"


74 responses so far ↓

  • #1   park rose bang

    …slumped against the door with a dagger through its chest. The perpetrator of this crime is very small and managed to crawl out of the tiny window in there.

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    Hmm…I’ve never seen a restroom door operated by an electronic eye before. :|

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    If the door doesn’t open, call the coroner.

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Luv this site

    I wonder what was on the sign underneath? Probally nuth’n’ much.

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   amy d bang

    The frowny face tells us if sombody is in there then you might want to give it a few minutes of air-out time before going in there yourself.

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Crash bang

    IT’S MISHEE’S CLOSET !!!!

    ( or bathroom )

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   jfruh

    The worst part is that, with the apostrophes on either side of the n for some reason (a la “rock ‘n’ roll”), it actually took more pen strokes to write it this way than to just write “in.”

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   park rose bang

      could be “there’s a body inn” there. That’s a hotel for corpses.

      Jan 12, 2008 at 6:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      Only if you don’t dot the “i”. ;-)

      Jan 12, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   brodie

      In the case of “Rock ‘n’ Roll,” that’s exactly how apostrophes are used: as placeholders for omitted letters. In this case, “a” and “d”: Rock and Roll. The picture is an example of incorrect usage, but “Rock ‘n’ Roll” certainly isn’t.

      Jan 14, 2008 at 7:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   park rose bang

      That’s the mistake I tried rectify in 7.1, albeit somewhat abstractedly.

      Jan 14, 2008 at 7:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    I guess I can hold it. They just found Peter Som‘s body ‘N’ there!

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Crash bang

    Gives a whole new meaning to “RESTROOM”.
    ( R.I.P.)

    Jan 12, 2008 at 6:41 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      OMG…This would have *probally* been even more wonderful than it is if it were found ‘N” a mortuary!

      Jan 12, 2008 at 6:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Team Cassandra bang

    I think “sombody” probally ripped the sign while impatiently trying to find out if under it was more to the sentence…

    For instance I would have wondered if it might continue on…
    “som(e)body ‘n’ there is another bathroom down the hall to the right.”

    If I really, really had to go I would hope that. No lie.

    What does the little scribbly say? No joke?

    Jan 12, 2008 at 7:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   mamason bang

      Maybe they were out of toilet paper. :-?

      Jan 12, 2008 at 7:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   park rose bang

      You’re onto something, TC.

      I think that’s why there’s the tiny arrow down the bottom of the note. “Message continued, P.T.O”.

      Jan 12, 2008 at 9:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Mishee bang

      TC the little scribble said “No Restroom” – also, if you look at “Probally” one of the L’s was fixed with a pen afterwards, but it wasn’t colored in…

      Jan 13, 2008 at 12:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Team Cassandra bang

      Aha! So now I’m betting someone
      1.waited,
      2.fixed the “b”,
      3.waited some more,
      4.realized there was no one was ever, ever coming out
      5.Pencilled in “No Restroom”
      6. Decided the owners were being misleading:
      7.Ripped the sign down out of frustration
      The cashier/stock boy/manager, upon seeing the sign had been torn down:
      8. Taped it right back up there!

      Mystery Solved!

      New Note Please!

      Jan 13, 2008 at 9:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Mishee bang

      TC – I think you are onto something with #7 on your list… I have new pictures, and being friends with two managers at this store, I got her to “Tear down this sign” (said like Ron Reagan)… I am emailing them to the PAN Goddess now… but there might be a preview elsewhere..

      Jan 13, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Team Cassandra bang

    And I have to say – I would hire that person as a sign-maker any day! A carefully supervised sign-maker, sure, but honest to God, I love people who can make letters look nice on a sign! Some people are so talented.

    Me – All I can do is spell.

    Jan 12, 2008 at 7:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   mamason bang

      Im know goode at eether.

      Jan 12, 2008 at 7:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Do not at the cash register inquire,
    If to use the restroom you strongly desire.
    Sometimes you may find that,
    The door is locked.
    Somebody is in there,
    So do not be shocked.
    It’s not all about you,
    Don’t be so absurd,
    Someone else also needed,
    To drop a fresh turd!

    Jan 12, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   tbrock

    I appreciate that someone helped out on the spelling of “probably”, by adding the extra part of the ‘b’ to the first ‘l’….Probally had nothing better to do while waiting for someone to come out of the bathroom…

    Jan 12, 2008 at 7:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    I’m not good at graphic arts but, are the dark markings on the letters inconsistent or is this some strange warping of the space-time continuum?

    Jan 12, 2008 at 7:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Team Cassandra bang

      They ARE inconsistent…it gives them character and depth. I LOVE them!

      Jan 12, 2008 at 8:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Suhayla

      Maybe you’re supposed to wear 3-D glasses to read the sign.

      Jan 12, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   mamason bang

    But seriously folks, don’t you hate it when you’re in a bathroom with the door locked and right in mid-grunt som body starts knocking and trying the door and won’t stop til you yell for the third time, “THERE IS SOM BODY ‘N’ HERE!!”

    Jan 12, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   park rose bang

      “There is som body ‘nnNNNnn’ here! ”
      (phew that’s a relief. better out than in).

      Jan 12, 2008 at 9:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   pickle bang

      It’s especially horrible when someone wrenches the door so hard that the lock pops open! (It’s happened to me at my last job…)

      On the other hand, in Japan no one ever answers when you knock… so now I’m the creep walking in on people.

      Jan 12, 2008 at 11:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Writerrejected bang

    Rembmer Thumbody from childhood? You got to dip your thumb in ink and make a print and draw a little head and feet? Probally too young, if you don’t.

    This sign also made me think of that band ‘Nsync. I always found the name incredibly irritating. Maybe an ‘Nsync song is ‘Norder from one of our local bards?

    Jan 12, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      Never heard of it before tonight, WR, but you’re Thumbody special! ;-)

      Jan 12, 2008 at 8:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Team Cassandra bang

      I Want You Back

      It’s all I ever wanted
      It’s all I ever needed, yeah
      So tell me what to do now
      Cause (I, I, I, I, I,) I’ve GOT. TO. PEE!

      It’s hard to wait around here
      It’s hard to make my bowels wait their turn.
      A lesson I’ve learned, for sure……………………
      So open up the door now
      I’ve banged on it a hundred times or more
      I’m going to pee right here on the floor…………….

      It’s all I ever wanted
      It’s all I ever needed, yeah
      So tell me what to do now
      Cause I’ve GOT. TO. PEE!

      Baby I’m not joking,
      I’m really going to pee here in my pants
      You’ve been alone in there forever….
      They told me not to worry
      They said that everything would be alright
      But under the door I see no light….

      It’s all I ever wanted
      It’s all I ever needed, yeah
      So tell me what to do now
      Cause I’ve GOT. TO. PEE!

      I’ve got to pee!~

      It’s not just som body
      It’s a dead body –
      Hey what can we do?
      It’s not just som body
      It’s a dead body –
      Hey what can we do?

      It’s all I ever wanted
      (It’s a dead body) It’s all I ever needed
      (It’s a dead body) So tell me what to do now
      When I’ve GOT. TO. PEE!

      Well should write a note now!
      ‘Cause the body ‘n’ there’s dead now!
      So tell me what to do now
      I’ve really GOT. TO. PEE!

      I know you people have no love for this trash but seriously – Writerrejected, the Puma in me thanks you for two reasons – the second being that it reminded me that I have to get back to aerobics class – It’s fun!:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAGjzd5vi_E&feature=related

      Jan 13, 2008 at 10:11 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Canthz_B bang

      WHAT WAS I THINKING?…I clicked the link and now my ears are bleeding!! :-P

      Jan 13, 2008 at 1:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Team Cassandra bang

      O you’re just jealous cuz you can’t dance like that, I’m sure :P

      Jan 13, 2008 at 1:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   fantasy bang

      C.B.
      It’s obvious you do not have that aerobics mindset!!!! Listen?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3SlHKFfZBM

      Jan 13, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Canthz_B bang

      Thanx, fantasy, I’m signing off now to commit myself for observation at Happydale Sanatorium. :-)

      Jan 13, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Team Cassandra bang

      YAY! We rate you, fantasy! (that is, my daughter and I rate you as I sit here and explain what I waste all my time doing with you people).

      Jan 13, 2008 at 4:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   WanderingPenguin bang

    Yecch. I don’t even know where to begin. So… for now I probally won’t. :)

    Jan 12, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Mishee bang

      WP – You not commenting on my submission makes me sad.

      Jan 13, 2008 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   WanderingPenguin bang

      I said “for now”. :) I am sure I will have something to add when I am more awake!

      Also…I didn’t notice it was yours. :| Sorry…

      Jan 13, 2008 at 1:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Mishee bang

      WP – I am still waiting with bated breath… hopefully the PAN Goddess will put up the updated pics and then you will be struck with something genius to contribute! :D

      Jan 13, 2008 at 5:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Kelly

    CSI: Public Restroom

    Jan 12, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   park rose bang

    Oh be gentle, please. To the tune of Green Door
    The la of latrine, doubles as ‘the’. ;-)

    Midnight
    One more night without peein’
    Holdin’ on
    Till the morning comes creepin’
    Latrine door
    What’s that secret you’re keepin’?

    I wanna do a pee an’ shit a log behind latrine door
    Dunno what they’re doing
    But they screech a lot behind latrine door
    Wish they’d let me in
    So I can find out what’s behind latrine door.

    Knocked once
    Cos’ I wanted to pee in there
    Door jammed
    Probally som body’s ‘n’ there
    Wonder just what’s going on in there

    Saw any eyeball peeping through a smoky cloud
    Behind latrine door
    When I said
    O-pen ye
    Someone groaned out loud behind latrine door
    All I want to do ‘s enjoy an empty bowel behind latrine door.

    Midnight
    One more night of leakin’
    Holdin’ on
    Till the morning comes creepin’
    Latrine door
    What’s that secret your keepin’?

    Jan 12, 2008 at 11:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   park rose bang

      Should be “Saw *an* eyeball…”
      Sorry, folks.

      Jan 13, 2008 at 12:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Ralphy

    Bad spelling smacks of drippy “facets.” I think I’ll just hold it for a while.

    Jan 13, 2008 at 12:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   amy d bang

      I believe in in this case, Ralphie, it would be bad smelling smacks of drippy factes.

      Jan 13, 2008 at 5:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   amy d bang

      hahaha! *facets*

      Jan 13, 2008 at 5:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Mishee bang

    Ahhh, the PAN Goddess DOES love me!! I am blessed!!

    Jan 13, 2008 at 12:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    No way to write Phillip Bailey’s vocalizations, but this is to Earth, Wind & Fire’s I’ll Write A Song:

    Door’s locked and I can’t go,
    Sensations you can’t know,
    Fester in by bowels.

    I need the restroom now,
    Sweat’s running down my brow,
    Somebody get the key.

    Open this restroom door,
    I cannot beg much more,
    And I will do right by you.

    Your toilet is divine.
    I wish to make it mine.
    I’m willing to pay you.

    I must evacuate,
    All of the food I ate,
    At my best friend’s place.

    You can help make this right,
    I need to crap tonight,
    I’m willing to pay you well,
    If you do right by me,
    Please just unlock the door.

    We’re talking privately.
    My distress plain to see.
    I can’t hold out much more,
    I need to get through that door,
    Need to do number two!

    Right now I’m really shocked,
    That the restroom is locked.
    I will gladly pay you,
    If you do right by me,
    Please just unlock the door.
    Store clerk, unlock this door!

    Jan 13, 2008 at 12:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   mamason bang

      :-P :-) :-D

      Jan 13, 2008 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   WanderingPenguin bang

      All ‘N’ All - my favourite album from the 1970s, I do believe. (And what an appropriate album to quote from on this thread, with the ‘N’ in the title!) :D

      I burned through two copies of this on vinyl and now own the Remastered CD version – and if it’s possible to “burn through” a CD, I will be replacing it as well someday. And this song… I used to put on this album in the mornings before I went to high school and… well, if I was home alone, I would sing along to this song with Philip Bailey… and if could hit all the notes he hit I knew it would be a good day. :D

      I’ve been privileged enough to see them in concert twice in my life. They got me through “Disco” unscathed. Well, maybe partly “scathed”. ;)

      Jan 13, 2008 at 1:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, partly…we can’t forget the heresy of “Boogie Wonderland”! :-D

      Jan 13, 2008 at 3:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   A.A guy

    When I see a sign like that I’m just tempted to drive a wedge under the door,hide around the corner and see how things play out.

    Jan 13, 2008 at 12:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee bang

      This door actually opens inward… so I will hide around the corner with you to see how that pans out with you…

      Jan 13, 2008 at 10:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   fantasy bang

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqKxggxHIPM
    “Knock Three Times”
    Hey girl, What ‘ya doin’ “n” there
    I can’t sit all alone while I need “n”
    I can hear your music playin’
    I can tell your body’s swayin’
    Oh My Darling
    I’ll knock three times ’cause I need “n”
    I’ll knock twice more cause I really need “n”
    Oh My Sweetness
    Please meet me in the hallway!
    ooooooooHHH
    Twice I’ve knocked
    Som Body needs “n”
    If you peek out at me You might see how much I need “n”
    Oh my Darlin’
    meet me “n” the hallway
    Attn: baby youv’e knocked three times and I know you need “n”
    Oh My sweetness
    But som body is “n” here
    ooooooHHH
    Just PLEASE meet me “n” the hallway!!!!

    Jan 13, 2008 at 2:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Team Cassandra bang

      O jeez louise, fantasy – you just brought a TEAR to my eye, no joke.

      I switched on that Youtube video and suddenly I was back on the brown and orange shag rug (NOT on the plastic covered couch- cuz I’m a good girl:), wearin’ my cords and my sweater vest, in front of the big wooden television with the sun streaming in the window and then there it is – right between The Monkees and Domenica In (used to be my fave show from Italy):

      TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN, EVERYONE!
      PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER NOW, FOR TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN!

      Tony Orlando and Dawn *sigh*

      Thank you, fantasy.

      Jan 13, 2008 at 9:05 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   A.A guy

    An inward opening door? What will they come up with next?(he said while peeking round the corner)

    Jan 13, 2008 at 10:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Mishee bang

      I’m not sure… maybe a device which can hold the toilet paper while you get some from the roll?

      We can call it a “spindle” or something weird like that…

      Quick, call the patent office and get that registered!!

      Toilet Paper Spindle® by Mishee

      Jan 13, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Rupert

    It would be my luck that there wasn’t anyone in there, hadn’t been for hours. Someone locked the door behind them when they left and the clerk can’t find the key. Damn

    Jan 13, 2008 at 3:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Mishee bang

    I just wonder how many people had to be banging on this door that it came to a worker’s attention to even make the sign in the first place! Possibly it is the worker who was in there all those times and was sick of being interrupted by loud knocks all the time??

    Jan 13, 2008 at 5:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Canthz_B bang

      Damn, can’t even hide in the restroom and get high at a crappy job nowadays without being disturbed…bummer!

      Jan 13, 2008 at 7:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   park rose bang

    Hey Mishee, the second sign is up! See, I knew that arrow meant P.T.O. :D

    Jan 13, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Ralphy

    If the door doesn’t open “it”
    then there’s probably som body in there
    but if the door should happen to open “it”
    then there’s nobody in there? Wait–I’m confused
    What is “it” and who gives a shit anyway.
    I’m going to open “it”

    Jan 13, 2008 at 8:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Canthz_B bang

      You’re going to open what? ;-)

      Jan 13, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Joe G

    I have been to, too many bathrooms like that in my life. And I have been on the receiving end, where many a stranger had stepped in when im in the middle of a squat.

    Jan 13, 2008 at 9:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   lola bang

    I would love to hear this notewriter giving a description to police about the body, either in a hick or ghetto accent (you pick):

    Well, I seen som body on da floor, and I look up and seen som du’ runnin’ oer dat way, probally fitty years ole, maybe mo’. I seen a Snapple ‘n’ his lef’ hand. Du’ musta bin firsty.

    Jan 13, 2008 at 10:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Mishee bang

    The PAN Goddess didn’t post the sign showing how after we tore down the sign, we found the missing “E” in somEbody…. We felt like archeologists! It was great!! :)

    Jan 13, 2008 at 11:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   SouthernCat

    Random question y’all….did anybody happen to notice the “Dumb Ass” on the back of the first sign?

    Jan 14, 2008 at 8:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   park rose bang

      hey southern cat. did you happen to notice the ‘Update’ comment accompanying the picture? :?

      the second picture was put up much later than the first. :)

      Jan 14, 2008 at 8:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Mishee bang

      I was wondering when someone was gonna notice that SCat…

      We pulled the note down and saw the Dumb Ass! and that’s where we found the “E”…

      We figured that TC was right earlier on these comments and someone was bored and ripped it down and wrote that, detaching the “E” in the process (it was hiding in the tape behind the note)

      Just wonder if that was a worker or not, since this store has an employee bathroom also…

      Ah, well, I guess we will never really know!

      Jan 14, 2008 at 9:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Lurker

    Althgou it’s a poorly-crafted note, I’ve got to admit that that’s something that drives me absolutely crazy: when I’m in a public bathroom (or even in the stall of a larger public bathroom) and somebody just keeps pulling and pulling on the door handle, like it’s beyond her comprehension that somebody else might actually be in there, or that she might have to wait her turn..

    Jan 14, 2008 at 8:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Andy bang

    “som body ‘n’ there”

    You are seriously telling me you couldn’t find room for that e and i? Sheesh. So, it is saying “somebody and there”? Yegads.

    I like the second picture, where it has the “DUMB ASS!” on the back. Veddy nice, indeed.

    Jan 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     

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