after noticing a tell-tale crisper sleeve in the garbage, charlie in new york spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.
(though if you ask jim gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)
related: i swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign
86 responses so far ↓
#1
Team Cassandra
O Dear! Not the LEAN POCKETS!
What a waste!
They’re not fucking delicious!
Jan 13, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: +6
#2
fantasy
Those “Lean Pockets” are perfect diet plan, You cook it , take one bite and throw in garbage!
Keep you nice and LEAN!
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:04 am rating: +7
#3
Mishee
How DARE you steal those Lean Pockets!! Would Jesus do that??
Good comeback on the ‘fucking delicious’ TC – I was JUST telling my friend about it like, 10 minutes ago… great timing!
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:05 am rating: +1
#4
sir jorge
mexican style? I feel insulted
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:08 am rating: 0
#5
Canthz_B
Just hang out near the restrooms and see who runs in the fastest. This one ain’t rocket science.
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:12 am rating: +4
#6
Canthz_B
If you trust them to replace the Lean Pockets (Mexican Style), why not up the ante and ask them to buy you some real food?
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:15 am rating: +2
#7
Canthz_B
“To whomever left me these cool Lean Pockets, don’t act like you care now…you should have noticed after I took the first one”
Signed,
Montezuma’s Revenge!
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:20 am rating: +3
#8
park rose
Times are so lean that not only are pocekts being emptied, but they are being eaten too. I bet they taste as good as this.
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:25 am rating: +3
#9
fantasy
This says it all.
Thanks for doing me a favor.
To the culprit who stole my Lean Pocket I am here to forgive and forget, just remember you can count on it!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ovDAF-VTPg
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:37 am rating: +1
#10
park rose
To dear note writer,
I took the picture to the store, like you asked me to, and they asked me why I was wasting my money when I already had the replacement in hand.
Nutrition facts.
Amount per serving:
Total Cardboard: 98%
Inks and dyes: 1%
Sawdust: 1%
So we’re square, yeah?
Yours,
Lean Pocket Thief.
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:38 am rating: +8
#11
Canthz_B
Some time in our day,
We all need lunch,
We all need to eat.
Leave yours in the fridge,
It disappears,
Sounds like you’ve been beat.
Lean pockets,
Mexican style,
And now you’re my meal.
Helping myself to you,
For, it won’t be long,
‘til I’m gonna need,
To get to the restroom!
Please, be kind to me.
There’s my ulcer,
I should consider.
I’m treading thin ice,
May not be nice,
But I am starving!
Just help me to the restroom,
When I need to go!
I just ate,
Somebody’s Lean Pockets.
I just might have a problem,
I screwed up here, man!
I just ate,
Somebody’s Lean Pockets.
Lean Pockets,
Mexican Style,
I made you my meal.
I helped myself to you.
Now, it won’t be long,
‘til I’m gonna need,
To get to the rest room.
Just help me to the restroom,
When I need to go!
I just ate,
Somebody’s Lean Pockets.
I just might have a problem,
I screwed up here, man!
I just ate,
Somebody’s Lean Pockets.
Now, I have a load,
I need to make doo,
And I can’t tarry!
I need a commode.
Got to unload,
This dysentery.
Help me!
I won’t do that again!
Help me!
I won’t do that again!
(repeat and fade out)
Jan 14, 2008 at 1:41 am rating: +5
#12
RALPHY
Sorry about your Mexican Style-I had to dump them in the trash befor they contaminated my
THREE CHEESE PIZZA STYLE. YUUUUK
There’s just no accounting for bad taste.
Jan 14, 2008 at 3:41 am rating: 0
#13
park rose
Addicted to crap
An old Robert Palmer tune. It’s a long one, folks
The fridge light’s on, no-one’s around
My mind is, not my own
My heart sweats, my body shakes
Another bite, is all it takes.
I’m too cheap, and I can eat
There’s no doubt, it’d make you weep
Allowing that, I can’t breathe
A mother’s meal, is what I need.
Whoa you like to think that you’re immune to
the stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you
can’t get enough
You know, I’m gonna have to face it,
I’m addicted to crap.
I saw the sign, but I can’t read
I’m fulfilling, a different need
My heart beats, in double time
Another bite, and I’ll be fine,
A one snack mind.
I can’t be saved
Oblivion is all I crave.
If there’s some, left for you
I won’t mind, divide by two.
Whoa you like to think that you’re immune to
the stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you
can’t get enough
You know, I’m gonna have to face it,
I’m addicted to crap.
Might as well face it, I’m addicted to crap,
Might as well face it, I’m addicted to crap,
Might as well face it, I’m addicted to crap,
Might as well face it, I’m addicted to crap,
Might as well face it, I’m addicted to crap.
The fridge light’s on, no-one’s around
Your swill is, not your own.
My heart sweats, my teeth grind
Another bite, and I’ll be fine.
Whoa you like to think that you’re immune to
the stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you
can’t get enough
You know, I’m gonna have to face it,
I’m addicted to crap.
Might as well face it, I’m addicted to crap (X number of times and fade).
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:11 am rating: +7
#14
VitaiminCM
I actually know the person that put this sign up. She’s 5′0″ of pure anger. If the pocket culprit is ever found, WATCH OUT!
Jan 14, 2008 at 7:21 am rating: +1
#15
amy d
No hablo ingles.
Jan 14, 2008 at 7:45 am rating: +3
#16
Lurker
Jeez, I was gonna replace her stupid Lean Pockets™ ’til she talked down to me like that and treated me like a moron who needed a picture to locate the Lean Pockets™ in the freezer aisle.
Jan 14, 2008 at 8:32 am rating: +5
#17
Writerrejected
Mexican-style vomit in a wrap? (That’s vomito to you.) Seems like the note should say “muchas gracias” to whoever ate the Lean Pockets. Ole!
Jan 14, 2008 at 10:05 am rating: +1
#18
Mishee
This runs through my mind when it comes to posts like these… a co-worker’s January calendar.
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j170/mrdm79/100_0186.jpg
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j170/mrdm79/100_0185.jpg
Jan 14, 2008 at 10:26 am rating: +1
#19
Dances With Books
Wait until one of you gets their own lunch stolen, and we’ll see if you still laugh the same. Having said that, lean pockets? Not that I advocate stealing, but if you are stealing something, have some dignity.
Jan 14, 2008 at 10:29 am rating: +4
#20
Wade
one the bright side, at least we aren’t talking about a lean pocket philly cheese steak.
*clutches stomach and bolts toward thrift store fitting room*
Jan 14, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: +9
#21
Set To Evil
Esos bolsillos magros eran el coger delicioso!
(Mexican Style)
Jan 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm rating: +1
#22
KittyKat
Maybe the thief was just really constipated and couldn’t find any Exlax to steal.
Jan 14, 2008 at 2:30 pm rating: +2
#23
Canthz_B
Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we found out that Lou Dobbs or Pat Buchanan stole the Mexican Style Lean Pockets?
I’m just saying…
Jan 14, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: +3
#24
GhostWriter
Ready for your 80’s fix, via Mexican radio?
I feel a cold breeze from the freezer
As I search for some food, like a cheeseburg
I turn the sleeve and check the number
The “best by..” date says it’s hard as lumber
I eat the nibbles of my teammates
They buy the product and I get the rebates
I hear them talking about thievery
Can’t understand just why they don’t believe me?
Hot Pocket Mexican stylee-oh.
I wanna a Mexican, woh-ho, stylee-oh
I hide it at a computer station
They walk by full of aggravation
I gotta taste it- just a little
Mama Mia! it’s hot in the middle!
Hot Pocket Mexican stylee-oh.
I wanna a Mexican, who-ho, stylee-oh
I wish I was at the super market
I’d steal a barbeque Hot Pocket
I’ll take what’s left in the ‘fridgerator
I’ll leave a wrapper in the trash compactor
I feel a cold breeze from the freezer
As I search for some food, like a cheeseburg
I hear them talking about thievery
Can’t understand just why they don’t believe me?
Hot Pocket Mexican stylee-oh.
I wanna a Mexican, who-ho, stylee-oh
sing along link (with Wall of Voodoo)
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:10 pm rating: +5
#25
Canthz_B
Smokey Really got a hold on me today!
I don’t want to,
But I need to.
Seems that by Thursday,
I’m out of food.
Oh, oh, oh, I’m going crazy,
And I’m so lazy,
Your Lean Pockets I took for me.
Your Lean Pockets I took for me.
Baby, I need lunch,
And what I’m now going to munch,
Is your Lean Pockets,
Pockets,
Pockets,
Pockets.
Don’t want to tell you,
But I owe you.
Didn’t need the picture,
I know what to do.
Oh, oh my stomach was growling,
I got caught prowling,
Now I’m a known Lean Pocket thief.
Now I’m a known Lean Pocket thief.
Baby, I needed lunch,
And all I could find to munch,
Was Lean Pockets,
Pockets,
Pockets,
Pockets.
I guess somebody told on me!
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:18 pm rating: +4
#26
Set To Evil
I used a free online translator. You get what you pay for
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:23 pm rating: 0
#27
bamBAM!
Dear Thief,
Your criminal act has allowed to have an epiphany about my life. I sit at home, eat crap, and write passive aggressive notes to people who take my Lean Pockets. You see, I realized that Lean Pockets are crap. Because of your thievery, I have now switched to Ramen Noodles and Froot Loops.
Love,
Owner of Crappola
P.S. I paid a whole dollar for those Lean Pockets and would like to be reembursed
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: +3
#28
Angie
Wow – this website is awesome. Thanks for stopping by my blog – hope to see you back soon.
Jan 14, 2008 at 6:30 pm rating: 0
#29
Canthz_B
These things barely qualify as food. Stop whining and order Chinese!: LEAN POCKETS® brand – Chicken Fajita
Fajita seasoned chicken, cheese, peppers and grilled onions wrapped in a crispy, cheesy corn tortilla flavored crust and still only 7 grams of fat
Ounces per Serving: 4.5 Servings: 2
Calories: 240 Calories from Fat: 60
Total Fat: 7 g Total Fat % Daily Value*: 11%
Saturated Fat: 3 g Saturated Fat % Daily Value*: 16%
Cholesterol: 20 mg Cholesterol % Daily Value*: 6%
Sodium: 660 mg Sodium % Daily Value*: 27%
Total Carbohydrate: 35 g Total Carbohydrate % Daily Value*: 12%
Dietary Fiber: 3 g Dietary Fiber % Daily Value*: 13%
Sugars: 6 g Protein: 10 g
Vitamin A % Daily Value: 10% Vitamin C % Daily Value: 0%
Calcium % Daily Value: 15% Iron % Daily Value: 10%
Weight Watcher Value: 5
Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
Jan 14, 2008 at 7:29 pm rating: +2
#30
Karen
I bet note-writer replaces his color ink cartridge before stealer replaces Lean Pocket !
Jan 14, 2008 at 8:25 pm rating: +1
#31
starburst2185
This has to be one of the best sites ever! I just wish I had some of the P/A notes that have floated around MY office before…two of my co-workers actually sent snarky post-it notes back and forth about readjusting the hieght of an office chair. It was gold, pure gold. Anyways, keep up those insightful observations!
Jan 14, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: +4
#32
Lurker
I’m with you, starburst. The PA notes in the kitchen at my last job actually had the Bill Engvall “Here’s your sign” catchphrase at the top of each one. AND I NEVER TOOK PICTURES!
Jan 15, 2008 at 8:46 am rating: +1
#33
Canthz_B
I think this note writer is just someone who likes to see their own work posted!
Jan 15, 2008 at 7:27 pm rating: 0
#34
it'sonlyme
http://www.nbc4.com/news/15073198/detail.html?dl=headlineclick
Jan 19, 2008 at 4:10 pm rating: 0
#35
VitaiminCM
Good News!
The “Perp” actually came forward and identified themselves.
And yes, they did replace the Lean Pockets with the appropriate package.
Who says, passive aggressiveness does not pay off.
FYI- I’m actually in possession of the original piece of artwork. And yes, it is hanging on my refrigerator in tribute.
Feb 10, 2008 at 3:46 pm rating: 0
#36 and my beef sandwich and my yogurt
[...] take out of box, place directly in toilet digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function [...]
Feb 28, 2008 at 9:37 am rating: 0
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