Mad Man

January 15th, 2008 · 92 comments

It was a “killer busy” week at the office, so Gord in Ontario admits that he and his ad-business coworkers left the place in a certain state of disarray. (Such is the wont of “creative professionals.”) Unfortunately, the boss chose that weekend to pop in to give some people an impromptu tour. On Monday, these adorable little thought balloons were posted all around the office.

I don't want anything on the floor again! Ever! Ger this crap off the floor and into an organized area. This is DISGUSTING. You've spilled coffee on MY books.

THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING SHITHOUSE. Boys, this is a man's business - it's an image business, I don't know how far you expect to go with this company but I can tell you right now - I will only associate myself with people who show professional attitude to every phase. If you want to survive you'd better start thinking like business men.

The boss never mentioned the incident again. But rationalizing, it seems, that a sleeping dog is just a dog waiting to be kicked, Gord and his coworkers turned the notes into a T-shirt.

related: Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?

FILED UNDER: Canada · CAPS LOCK · casual sexism · cleaning · office · Ontario · that's disgusting · that's unprofessional


92 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Candice A

    Umm…Team WTF? So were those thought balloons individually posted and this reproduced on one piece of paper? If not, I don’t get it. Who are all those lines leading from the thought balloons pointing to? Are there little invisible people in there?

    And how does one “show a professional attitude to every phase?” What does that even mean?

    Jan 15, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   eddy

    As a boss, I gotta go with team boss here. You don’t leave your workspace like that. I mean…spilled coffee on books? The hell? Whenever I leave my office, it may not be spotless, but I sure as hell make sure that it doesn’t look like a pigsty to someone else. These office workers fail.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 8:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   anglophile bang

    I was so embarassed! I brought my grandmother to see where I work on Monday morning, and she had to see all these signs with profanity on them!

    Jan 15, 2008 at 8:45 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Nothing on the floor ever again? Where the hell are we supposed to get anti-grav desks and chairs?!

    Jan 15, 2008 at 8:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Is it still legal to have a strictly “Man’s” business?
    Somebody should watch what they put in writing!

    Jan 15, 2008 at 8:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    “I know I’ve spilled coffee, now you’re making me read notes on the obvious on your dime!!”

    Jan 15, 2008 at 8:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Grimfool

    I have to be Team Neutral here; you don’t leave a shared workplace in a “certain state” of disarray even after a killer week . . . but the language of the boss’s notes suggest that he’s 18 years old . . . and then Gord & his Gordos think they’re cute enough to turn it into a t-shirt? The boss and the Gordos deserve each other; I’m just wondering if the boss gets a percentage of the shirt sales (the shirts are made in the USA, by the way, so thanks, Gordo!)

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Katie

    I love that you made the notes into a shirt! That is priceless. Do you wear it to the office?

    And, many of the graphic designers I work with are women, so I’m offended at all this “man’s business” business.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    If this place is supposed to be a Fucking Shit-house, how business-like are we expected to be? All we do is have sex and otherwise relieve ourselves here, right?

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   RALPHY

      Well, I got one out of the two covered.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Ozymandias bang

      Or you are covered in one of the two.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 8:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   starburst2185

    I don’t know which would be worse, to be the boss and have my employees embarrass the hell outta me, or to have to come in and read a note like this from my boss. Where’s Team Athority Problem, cause that’s who I’m with!

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   anglophile bang

      starburst, feel free to start your own team any time! ;)

      Jan 15, 2008 at 9:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   fantasy bang

    I wonder if they are wearing these T-Shirts while applying for new jobs? It would show their creative initiative! :P

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   pry

    i think this is all a ruse—someone’s bright idea to sell a few more t-shirts.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Agargara

      Team Conspiracy Theory!

      Jan 15, 2008 at 11:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Larry Lard

      > i think this is all a ruse—someone’s bright idea to sell a few more t-shirts.

      Especially as there seems to be a > 100% markup over the base CafePress rates…

      Jan 16, 2008 at 5:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   fantasy bang

    My guess would be that an image of a “Man’s Business” may just be a “FUCKING SHITHOUSE”! :P

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   fantasy bang

    Gord and his coworkers were thinking like professional “Business Men” by making their own T- Shirt business, but with that note the “Boss” forgot “Professional Attitude To Every Phase”!

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Wade bang

    I’m a little confused.

    How does posting a note in public saying “This Place Is A Fucking Shithouse” project a professional attitude?

    Jan 15, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   JPav

      Hmmm…good question. Perhaps because it’s in all caps?

      Jan 16, 2008 at 8:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Lorelie

      Now, now, boys. A professional attitude is only important when dealing with people the boss wants to impress. You see, respect moves *up* the chain. We peons don’t get none.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 11:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Just how clean can you keep a brothel located in a port-o-potty?

    Jan 15, 2008 at 10:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Team Cassandra bang

    Click the link!
    This one has boobies:
    A Man’s Business – Jr. Raglan

    It looks like he wrote that note with FECES.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 10:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Team Cassandra bang

      O now I can’t edit that stupid first part! Poo.

      Jan 15, 2008 at 10:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   fantasy bang

    Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.
    ___ Old Testament, Proverbs, 22:29

    Jan 15, 2008 at 10:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Team Cassandra bang

      Lest tempers run high, let This Place be a
      Work Free Drug Place.

      ____New Testament, Proverbs, 4:20

      Jan 15, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   fantasy bang

      _______Old Testament, Proverbs,22:29
      OOOOOOOPPS!!!!! Oh, Wrong Post!!! Sorry, T.C. :D

      Jan 15, 2008 at 10:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Team Cassandra bang

      R U HI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

      Jan 15, 2008 at 11:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   fantasy bang

      No T.C., Today I am quite low, you see I have this Boss who just keeps leaving dirty notes and making life hell ’cause now we not only have to work but now he expect’s us to clean up too…… It is just a FUCKING SHITHOUSE JOB!!!! :|

      Jan 16, 2008 at 2:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    “Don’t leave my place of business looking like a pig sty for a whole weekend!”
    ——21st Century, Proverbs 1:1

    Jan 15, 2008 at 10:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Lurker

    Doesn’t he mean, “a fucking delicious shithouse?”

    Jan 15, 2008 at 11:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Team Cassandra bang

      It seems he didn’t get the memo.

      Jan 15, 2008 at 11:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   aprilshowers

      Maybe (s)he got the memo and just wants to be a fucking asshole.

      Jan 15, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   morpho aurora bang

    the “boys” should have cleaned up before they left. but holy hypocrites, any boss who leaves a note like this is a complete fucking shit. it reeks of unprofessionalism.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 11:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   ard

    Team Shithouse!

    Jan 15, 2008 at 11:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Kelly

    Team Go Ahead and Put Mud in the Pigsty and Fucking Mud Wrestle This Shit Out.

    Jan 15, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   amy d bang

      Two tickets to the event, please. And can I be in the front row? I want to be close enough to be peppered with mud, thanks!

      Jan 16, 2008 at 10:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   RALPHY

      Sure, but that “aint’ mud your peppered with!

      Jan 16, 2008 at 8:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    It’s your responsibility to keep it clean and this is the last time I’m going to say it!…Except for the next four things I have to say!

    Jan 16, 2008 at 12:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   park rose bang

    It all sounds too familiar.

    Rose, close your door. Aren’t you embarrassed to have such a messy room? How can you let anybody in there? It’s a pig sty!

    Boys, if you want to survive, you’d better start thinking like business men my mother.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 4:55 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   WickedLady bang

    Well, I love it! I want that shirt. :P I might just wear it to my entrance exam for art college.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 6:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   raiseyourglass

    Way to rally the troups!
    Maybe I would have stayed at my last job had my boss been so sugar and spice like this one.
    This is how pranks start….
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0XdthbOkMU&feature=related

    Jan 16, 2008 at 7:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Team Cassandra bang

      This is really funny! Don’t miss it!

      Jan 16, 2008 at 4:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   JPav

    I’m gonna use those balloons to jazz up “Family Circus.” …Oh Jeffy, you so funny!

    Jan 16, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Wade bang

      JPav is onto something.

      why stop at a t-shirt?

      those balloons would make great magnets and/or buttons, lol

      Jan 16, 2008 at 10:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   park rose bang

      The “men” are onto it, Wade.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 6:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   senor subagua

    Creativity is as creativity does… if this team made a habit of leaving a messy workplace, then this jerk boss can only blame himself for bringing people in without checking it first; if this is an anomalous mess, he should recognize the importance of busting ass when the job needs to be done over keeping the workplace sterile in case he decides to drop by…

    we all have to work with jerks sometimes, but if you work FOR one, that’s your own fault.
    Go team new resume

    Jan 16, 2008 at 8:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   park rose bang

      I don’t know if it’s high on a hiring boss’ list of priorities to ask a previous employer if a potential employee can clean up after him/herself. :?

      Maybe it would come under the question, ‘and is there anything else you’d like to tell me?

      Jan 16, 2008 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   park rose bang

      Me again.
      If this is a one-off, then the boss is a jerk, but otherwise, isn’t not taking care of a workplace due to having a creative temperament pushing creative licence to its limits?

      There’s a double-negative for ya’, WP.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Shieldmaiden96

    If he manages like a high school football coach (ie the language), he is reaping his own whirlwind. Im just wondering if he wrote those notes in front of his guests. Veery impressive.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 8:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   fantasy bang

    I’m too Sexy for THAT shirt! :P :P

    Jan 16, 2008 at 9:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Writerrejected bang

    Aw, man, I work in advertising as “a creative”…and I know the kind of dickweed who tries to bully people into being professional by being amazingly unprofessional and PA. On the other hand, this agency sounds like a mess; I wouldn’t use them.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 9:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   amy d bang

    1)The 2nd ballon on the left says “get this crap… into an organized area” If you bring crap into an organized area it would no longer be an organized area, true?

    2) If this is a “man’s business” why is he hiring “boys” ?

    Jan 16, 2008 at 10:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Wade bang

      maybe they took it to the post office for disposal.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 10:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Katzndogz bang

    I love how the perky word balloons are juxtaposed against his white hot rage.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 10:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   lola bang

    I think I know what the boss is getting for Christmas (sorry, Christmakwanzukkah)

    “A Man’s Business” BBQ apron!

    That one still has me giggling.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 10:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   bigtime loser

    If the boss wants to keep it clean, maybe this “mans business” manager should act like a loving mother and clean it up and stop acting like a disgraced mother ready to send her kids to bed without supper.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   park rose bang

      In answer to the first definition of mother there, I think that’s more commonly known as a ‘sacrificial’ mother.

      I’m on team Take Responsibility (for both sides), if there is one.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 7:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   GhostWriter bang

    Opening Scene: a designer’s art studio in disarray, with the lights out.

    The front door opens and a hand switches on the light. A man enters, while looking back to two ladies in the hall, whom he is pulling towards the door.

    Man: “…and this is the Art department! It might be pretty messy, so we don’t have to go in…”

    The two ladies strut in and look around in awe, as if they are bedazzled.

    Man: “I know it’s quite a mess, let’s just…”

    One girl grabs the Man’s arm “Hush Larry! This is fan-TASTIC! Look at all these papers and paints and glues…”

    Lady 2: “Oh My Gawd- this is soo sexy! Look at all these huge pastels! I could totally draw a picture all over you, Carla!

    Lady 1: “I know! It’s like a primitive warpainting altar!” she rips open her dress to reveal a bikini from the movie ‘1,000,000 Years B.C.’ do me up like a Warrior Princess, Tracey!

    Man: “Hold on, let’s not get too…”

    Lady 2 grabs Man by the coat and pulls it down around his waist, trapping his arms by his side. “You’ll be our Warrior! Carla- get his pants!”

    The lights darken as the sound of crashes, splashes, laughter and sexy groans float through the air.

    As the lights come up there is paint all over the studio, clothes strewn everywhere, and the half-naked Man (with tussled air and blue handprints on his back and chest) is crawling toward the door, saying “That better never happen again!”

    Jan 16, 2008 at 12:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   RALPHY

      I don’t care what they say-I liked it!

      Jan 16, 2008 at 8:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   DrAstroZoom bang

    Nothing passive about the original notes, but putting them all on a T-shirt? PA brilliance!

    Jan 16, 2008 at 12:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Team Cassandra bang

      I see a unitard coming your way, Doctor.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   DrAstroZoom bang

      I will wear it proudly with my Fucking Shithouse shirt and my Puma jacket.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 4:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   amy d bang

      Paging Dr. Unitard. Dr. Unitard, please report to the ER.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 4:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Team Cassandra bang

      Ok – but I really think it should be the BBQ apron, and the unitard MUST be silver spandex.

      And then I’ll meet you at the post-office with a bag of doodie and you can carry out your mission like a good little PA Doctor, k?

      Jan 16, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Quite Contrary

    I wish I worked there so I could wear the shirt. And, trust me, I would wear it proudly.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 1:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Katzndogz bang

    When I clicked on the link for the shirts, I thought they were going to feature one or two of the word balloons, not the long diatribe in the end. It’s funny as hell, but way too long for a t-shirt.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   WickedLady bang

      The balloons are on the back of the shirts. :)

      Jan 16, 2008 at 2:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Wade bang

    we may have found a worthy replacement for the unitard.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 2:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   WickedLady bang

      Did I forget to mention I like the shirt? I want one in pink. :P

      Jan 16, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   park rose bang

      You would pay to wear the unitard, Wicked Lady? :D

      Jan 16, 2008 at 11:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   WickedLady bang

      That’s not what I said, I said I want the shirt. But I have no problems with being paid to wear the unitard. ;)

      Jan 17, 2008 at 3:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   park rose bang

      But WL, look at #41. ;)

      Jan 17, 2008 at 5:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.5   WickedLady bang

      #41 is about the replacement for the unitard, not the unitard itself. :P

      Jan 17, 2008 at 7:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Writerrejected bang

    Has anyone else read And Then We Came to The End? It’s a novel by that kid Joshua Ferris about an advertising agency. I’m reading it now. It’s pretty great.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 2:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Canthz_B bang

    If we wanted the hassle of thinking like businessmen, we would not be content to work in this “Fucking Shithouse”!
    Please pony up the cash for a cleaning agency!

    –The Creative Professionals

    Jan 16, 2008 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   raiseyourglass

      Sorry but cleaning people don’t do workstations. They may accidently ruin someones project. They dust, vaccum,mop, clean bathrooms , and kitchens (but never touch the refrigerator unless told to- and forget microwaves, after all they could get broke. Also beware of the coffee cups if you didn’t clean them… I’m just saying.

      Jan 16, 2008 at 11:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks for the technical info, really…but it was just a joke. ;-)

      Jan 16, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   sitboaf

    Sounds like the “boss” doesn’t do a lot of work in that office, otherwise he might have had the courtesy of asking his “men” to tidy up for 10 minutes on Friday afternoon.
    Or maybe the visitation was a last-minute idea. If so, how does the boss stroll out of the office on Friday without a word to the employees about the appearance, but fly into a white-hot rage after visiting the VERY SAME WORKPLACE a few hours later?
    You want a neat workplace in case you want to show it off without notice? Be a “big boy” and let your employees know what’s expected of them!
    Print those rage-balloons on a unitard and give it as a gift on National Boss Day.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Canthz_B bang

    Do not blithely into your weekend go.
    Pride should have your space clean by close of day.
    Rage, rage against the trash we dare not show!

    Jan 16, 2008 at 5:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Team Cassandra bang

    nuthin to see here folks!

    Jan 16, 2008 at 6:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Ozymandias bang

    The cleaning fairy really is a fallacy, folks.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 7:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Canthz_B bang

      But as a Leprechaun, I love some Fairy Tail!
      It’s magically delicious!! :-)

      Jan 16, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   WickedLady bang

      Being a fairy, I must say that CB is scaring me and the cleaning fairy does exist, she’s just lazy as hell.

      Jan 17, 2008 at 3:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.3   Canthz_B bang

      Not if she’s properly wined and dined! ;-)

      Jan 17, 2008 at 4:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Team Cassandra bang

    Am I the only one questioning the grammar on ” show a professional attitude to every phase”?

    Wouldn’t it be at every phase….?

    Would you even say phase?

    Please don’t make me look it up :(

    Jan 16, 2008 at 9:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Amanda R

    This note is a little TOO creative.

    Jan 16, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   park rose bang

    If you show a professional attitude to all the fays, they might just clean the room for you.
    TC, that’s in response to 48!
    :)
    (second definition, folks)

    Jan 16, 2008 at 10:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Patrick B...

    LOL!!!thats what you get for bragging on what you do and how your people do it for you…shoulda gone in and checked that the office looked like a showplace if you intended to brag and didn’t look like a shithouse….

    Jan 18, 2008 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   fuhuck

    Too bad he can’t fire the lot of them. He IS the fucking boss. If you don’t like that, become the boss.

    Wankers.

    Sep 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   jason

    Haha, “Made in the USA.”

    May 3, 2009 at 2:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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