In-game placement would have scored much higher in user engagement

January 21st, 2008 · 62 comments

At the Circuit City in Bradenton, Florida (which I envision something like this) one anonymous employee reports that much of the staff’s downtime is spent obsessively playing Guitar Hero 3 in the store’s breakroom. They even have a 42-inch wall-mounted flatscreen expressly for this purpose. Or at least, they did, until about a month ago.

THE TV WILL RETURN WHEN WE LEARN HOW TO RESPECT OUR BREAKROOM!!!

Our anonymous employee takes umbrage with two issues here. First of all, “there are more than 50 employees who share this room. Does it really look that dirty?” And second, the fact that “instead of reminding us to pick up during any one of our 30 daily meetings, someone actually wasted the time to TAKE PICTURES of the ‘mess’ and hang them in place of the TV. Wouldn’t a simple, ‘hey y’all, clean up your shit?’ have been much, much more efficient?”

What is this “efficiency” of which you speak? It’s certainly not in the retail management handbook!

related: office anthropomorphism

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · now that's management · retail hell · that's disrespectful · visual aids


62 responses so far ↓

  • #1   BigWayne

    Damn, quit whining about no Guitar Hero. All I got in my break area is a popcorn smelling microwave, a moldy fridge, and a crusty coffee pot. I’m actually with Team Management on this one.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Matt Algren

    I loooove the totally passive aggressive “We” in the note. The only thing better would be for a new note that says “Have we learned our lesson? Hmmm?” to appear.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:32 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   secondsout bang

      Either that, or the PAN poster recognizes his/her own guilt, and is punishing him/herself along with the other offenders. I have failed, and I will accept the consequences.

      Jan 21, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   mere bang

    wow, our break ‘room’ is a kitchenette. i’m actually a bit jealous of the circuit city employees.
    i never thought i’d say that.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   mere bang

    oh, and fyi: the room doesn’t look that bad.
    maybe bossman is pissed because he sucks at g.h.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   GVI bang

    What’s wrong with the breakroom, I looked at the pictures and was thinking Damn that’s a nice picture of a hotel room .

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Wade bang

    It looks like leaving a game case on the sofa (instead of its designated location on the table) was the last straw.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    “I want my M(F)TV!!”

    Jan 21, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   morpho aurora bang

    must be nice to have a breakroom. or even breaks.
    sounds like the boss is being a pain, the pics don’t show that bad of a mess.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 1:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Writerrejected bang

    Oooooh, mean nurses talk in the second person plural, as do mean managers who take away all the employee toys. This is fabulous PAN! p.s. I never worked anywhere that had a TV, let alone a flat screen TV. Nice!

    Jan 21, 2008 at 1:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    Nice! A couch! Where are the job applications? No TV means a more restful sleep.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Lurker

    This reminds me of another doing-time-in-retail story.

    The sales manager decided there were too may notes being taped to the cash registers. So, instead of asking people not to do it, or even just asking the openers/closers to pull down any notes at the beginning/end of the day, she just took the tape from all the registers. Then, she took all the tape out of the supply room and told the office manager, without giving any reason, not to order any more. Then, she secretly patrolled the registers every day after closing, throwing away any rolls of tape we bought with our own money and left there.

    Months later, after the 1,000,0001st complaint from a customer who wanted his receipt taped to his large item, somebody brought it up at a meeting and she finally admitted to it. She was amazed that anyone was surprised or thought she had overreacted. “You mean, none of you KNEW that taping notes to the registers had gotten to be such a huge problem?”

    Jan 21, 2008 at 2:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Lurker

      Mind you, the break room in that place was a pigsty.

      Jan 21, 2008 at 2:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   GhostWriter bang

    How do you respect a breakroom? Are “we” supposed to address it as, “The honorable Mr. (or Ms.) Breakroom?

    Jan 21, 2008 at 2:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      Stop, GW! You’re making my sides ache!! ROTFLMAO

      Jan 21, 2008 at 2:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   GhostWriter bang

      I counting on you to deliver us a song parody based on Respect

      Jan 21, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Canthz_B bang

      My songs tend to suck…but that is a great ball for someone with real talent to pick up and run with! :-)

      Jan 21, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   secondsout bang

    This missing tv is probably somewhere making out with the microwave that ran away a while back.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Lurker

      Pretty soon they’ll be spawning baby HD popcorn ads.

      Jan 21, 2008 at 2:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Crash bang

    Ironically enough since the employees were to busy playing Guitar Hero, maybe they were too busy to make a mess in the break room. ( which would explain the lack of the mess )
    So now I’m guessing the lack of the T.V. will give the employees plenty of time to make an actual mess and the boss man a chance to rethink his strategy.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 2:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   mmm

    Seriously! Someone needs to take this to the next level. “The printer will be returned when we learn how to respect it and not print out full color pictures of the break room”

    Jan 21, 2008 at 2:53 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Team Cassandra bang

    Oy. Once, a long long time ago I rented the upstairs apartment from my mother!!!

    She took pictures of the bathroom counter, the kitchen counter (and a close up of the ring my teacup had left) and my bedroom floor and posted them on my front door. It’s not like it was trashed; about the same as these!

    Gah! I can’t even talk about this note I’m so irritated now! :( :P

    Jan 21, 2008 at 3:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    Well, I did this by request, so don’t hate!
    My apologies to The Queen of Soul! :-)

    HMMMMM…
    Large TV,
    Baby I got it.
    Big TV,
    You know I got it.
    All I’m asking for,
    Is for a little respect
    For the break room.
    For the break room.

    I ain’t gonna clean it,
    Because I don’t wanna.
    All I’m asking,
    Is for a little respect
    For the break room.
    Just a little bit.
    Just a little bit.

    We pay you guys,
    Pretty good money.
    All we’re asking,
    In return Sonny,
    Is to clean after yourself,
    When your break ends!
    When your break ends!
    Do it for me.

    Your work ethic,
    Sure is funny.
    But guess what…
    This mess ain’t, Honey!
    All I need is,
    Just a little respect
    For the break room.
    For the break room.
    Do it for me now!

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T
    It’s nice in here now,
    Can’t you see?
    R-E-S-P-E-C-T
    Ain’t this how,
    It’s supposed to be?

    Hey, Baby…
    Respect the break room.
    Just a little bit.
    Just a little bit.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 3:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, The link is at #12.2 that’s why I skipped on that.

      Jan 21, 2008 at 4:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Crash bang

    Is this guy trying to be a photographer or something ?
    Seriously he took two pictures of two different locations in the break room at two different angles each…I think two pic’s would have done a good enough job to show everyone the non mess and just how OCD he is about cleaning…I think he got a little OCD about taking pictures.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 3:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    Interesting how the lack of passive tense makes the note even more passive-aggressive: “The TV will return” instead of “The TV will be returned” implying that the TV hopped off the wall and strolled away and refuses to return, out of solidarity with its Break Room comrade, until employees begin to bow upon entering and leaving the breakroom.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 4:00 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Chipmunk

      They’re marching down the street, fists raised in the air. “CLEAN AT LAST, CLEAN AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE’RE CLEAN AT LAST!”

      Jan 21, 2008 at 7:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Crash bang

    I think the pictures make a mess on the wall.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 4:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t think taking away the TV would give me the requisite incentive to clean the break room. I’d just go to a local pub to watch TV on my break.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    Maybe the TV will never return because it scored a job at Wal-Mart. They know how to keep a clean Break Room!

    Jan 21, 2008 at 4:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Lurker

    I’m also reminded of the time Mom took away my Flying Finnegan game until I cleaned my room. After few months I ceased to miss the Flying Finnegan game.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 4:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Retail4Life

    If my apartment was ever as clean as this break room I’d take photos of how beautiful it looked and email them to my parents to put on their fridge.

    Perhaps the Circuit City employee forgot to mention that this is supposed to be their Break AND Operating Room?

    Jan 21, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Team Cassandra bang

      Gosh! Does nobody even read me anymore!?!?

      Don’t send them to my mom!

      #16

      Jan 21, 2008 at 5:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   GhostWriter bang

      Cass, closure to your issue is beyond the healing powers of PAN commentary and thumbs-up points. Forgive and Forget.

      Jan 22, 2008 at 10:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   senor subagua

    Must be planning on showing off the breakroom to some guests this weekend.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Writerrejected bang

    PAN Manager should have taken a picture of the missing TV. Maybe that would have made them feel bad enough to tidy up a bit.

    Jan 21, 2008 at 6:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Rachael

    I’m not going to lose sleep over whether or not people get to play Guitar Hero at work but good god, there’s hardly any mess in that room!

    Jan 21, 2008 at 7:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   raiseyourglass

    missing tv, this sucks…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEvJvKTGMXU

    Jan 21, 2008 at 8:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   hannah

    w00t! bradentucky represent!

    Jan 21, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Canthz_B bang

    Oddly, sales of hand-held televisions and portable video games have soared!

    Jan 22, 2008 at 12:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   park rose bang

    I really dislike the original Beastie Boys film clip (my sense of humour is sometimes lacking), so I put this rather dull one up instead.

    Dedicated to WP. Where are ya? Come back to stop me churning out these godawful things ;)

    Fight for your Right to Par-tay…

    Kick it!

    You work hard on the floor – man, but it’s kinda slow
    You’re hanging for break, you’re the guitar he-ro
    You got 42 inches and a wall mounted screen
    All in the breakroom that you keep kinda clean.

    (You won’t get it back) until (it’s tiii-dy).

    You go for break and you say ‘No way!’
    Somebody has taken the T.V. away
    Man, there’s photos put up by some toerag
    And a note saying ‘Clean! Pay blest homage.’

    (The TV will return) when we learn ( to respect iiit).

    Don’t step into the room if that’s the clothes you’re gonna wear,
    And they’ll kick you out the room if you don’t prostrate there
    Your ass is busted and there’s no cool toys
    Even if blameless, it’s a slick cleaning ploy.

    (You won’t get it back) until (it’s tiii-dy) x2
    Tiii-dy x 2.

    Jan 22, 2008 at 5:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Lurker

    Where has all the TV gone?
    Long time passing
    Where has all the TV gone?
    Long time ago
    Where has all the TV gone?
    Clean the break room, everyone
    When will you ever learn?

    Where has Guitar Hero gone?
    Long time passing
    Where has Guitar Hero gone?
    Long time ago
    Where has Guitar Hero gone?
    Respect the break room, everyone
    When will you ever learn?

    Where have all the young men gone?
    Long time passing
    Where have all the young men gone?
    Long time ago
    Where have all the young men gone?
    Quit Circuit City, every one.
    When will they ever learn?

    Jan 22, 2008 at 7:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Writerrejected bang

    Hey, wait. These people work at Circuit City. Can’t they just walk out onto the showroom floor and watch, like, a hundred TV’s? Maybe we should think a little more creatively about what punishment might actually make a difference. Hmmm?

    Jan 22, 2008 at 7:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Lurker

      They were using the TV to play video games.

      Jan 22, 2008 at 9:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Writerrejected bang

      They could still do that out on the floor! :-)

      Jan 22, 2008 at 10:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   amy d bang

    OMG!!! 8-O

    This is horrible. The t.v. has been taken hostage. What kind of person could commit such a devious crime? Heartless criminals walk the world, so be careful my PAN friends.

    Jan 22, 2008 at 9:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   subliculous

      it wasn’t taken hostage, it LEFT ON ITS OWN. :|

      Feb 2, 2008 at 6:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   amy d bang

    Apparently, we only have to learn how to respect our breakroom, not necessarily demonstrate said respect. So, if I bring in a Certificate of Completion for a “Respecting Others” course, can we have our t.v. back?

    Jan 22, 2008 at 9:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   amy bang

    This makes me wonder about the Circuit City in my neighborhood. There are never any employees on the sales floor, I bet they’re all in the break room playing GH.

    Jan 22, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   amy d bang

      Great mounds of massive confusion, amy.

      Jan 22, 2008 at 9:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Wade bang

    Based on the competence of Circuit City employees I have dealt with, I am surprised they could even find the break room.

    Jan 22, 2008 at 10:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   bellabeastie

    If no respect is shown for the breakroom, the next thing Breakroom Gestapo will do is take the sofa cushions one by one and leave a picture in its place. IF the disrespect continues, maybe cut the legs off the coffee table one by one, and so on. The punishment will continue until SOMEONE LEARNS THEIR LESSON. (or there’s no furniture left, take your pick).

    Jan 22, 2008 at 10:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   GhostWriter bang

    Beat poetry style:

    The TV will return, when we learn
    The TV will return, when we learn

    The TV will return,
    when we learn how to respect
    when we learn how to respect
    our breakroom.

    The TV will return
    when we learn, when we learn
    when we learn how to respect
    our breakroom.

    When we learn how to respect
    to respect, to respect
    then the TV will return
    will return.

    Jan 22, 2008 at 11:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   WickedLady bang

    I should not have visited this site when I did. My dad walked in yesterday and read this note too. Apparently he got inspired, because when I came home from school yesterday, my computer was gone. The only thing I found was a note, saying I wasn’t going to get my computer back before I cleaned up my room from bottom to top.

    Well, it’s easy to guess what I did. I tore the whole house down in search for my computer. He hid everything in a different place, I found the mouse in the freezer! Just a few hours ago I found the last missing piece and now I can comment again. :D

    Jan 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   park rose bang

      We, or I, had wondered where you’d gone!

      :D

      Jan 22, 2008 at 5:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   ZOMGuy

    Haha, I actually work at the Circuit City pictured here. It normally gets a lot worse than what is pictured. Also, that bag on the counter from Panera Bread was a week and a half old, and had a turkey sandwich and a cookie in it.

    Most of the people who leave a mess in the break room are actually managers, leaving their leftover lunches on the counter.

    Jan 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   no one

    having worked in an office where the 30 or so employees were asked every week to clean up after themselves in the kitchen, but never ever did (no matter how many times it was asked, begged, demanded, cajoled, threatened etc), I admire the approach taken here.

    Jan 24, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   reallystrangegirl

    Is the manager a Patriot’s fan? I bet that 42 inch television is at his house for the Superbowl.

    Jan 25, 2008 at 8:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   subliculous

    i just picture the tv walking off, with a little overnight bag and a fedora cocked forward. hmph!

    Feb 2, 2008 at 6:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   passive retaleator

    Just a thought, along the same lines as the ‘go to the show room and play g.h.’ idea from ‘Writerrejected’. My slight modification on that theme is to take one from the show room or stock room and set it up in the break room. They just have to make sure not to be seen doing it. So they need to enlist the help of the security camera watching guy. And.. your know while they are at it why not get 2 of them, at 42 inches. they are kinda small.

    Dec 22, 2008 at 11:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   marx

    And look what happened to Circuit City, tee hee.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 12:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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