writes joe in denver: my roommate “gets very emotional when someone criticizes him, but will gladly email me or leave notes around the house with dozens of ‘little reminders’” like this one, written after joe left a broom in the living room overnight.
related: how not to housetrain a roommate
66 responses so far ↓
#1
RP
What’s wrong with leaving it in the living room? Why does he care?
(Apologies if this is a duplicate post)
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:33 pm rating: +2
#2
anglophile
I wonder if the pens and the paper and tape are kept anywhere near the spot the broom is supposed to be?
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: +12
#3
Stacy
Hey, at least he was using the broom. He could have left it where it belongs and not swept up the mess. It could be worse.
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm rating: +2
#4
Karen
Roommate is just showing Joe an example of a proper citicism so as not to hurt another’s feelings. Make nice, say please, don’t patronize.
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm rating: +3
#5
Wade
Is it just me, or doesn’t that smiley look psychotic?
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:39 pm rating: +1
#6
GVI
He is bitching, how hard is it for him to just pick up the damn broom and move it himself but nooo he decides to leave a note. If I were Joe, I would shove that broom up his ass.
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:40 pm rating: +1
#7
the sos
so by declaring non-bitchiness that clears you? (not being bitchy or anything but the copy papaer goes over there if you care not to know. thanks terry!) and yes, the smiley face looks a little thrown.
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:42 pm rating: +1
#8
amy d
If I were Joe, I would write the following response, which would be taped to the roommate’s note, which is taped to the broom, which is still leaning against the living room wall:
Please stop being such a nitpicker. I left the broom here for ONE day, you fucking ninny! If I wanted to be nagged all the time, I would live with my parents.
*Epiphany: My mother doesn’t live here.*
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:44 pm rating: +7
#9
Canthz_B
EWWWW!…He made nice with a broom handle?
I sure hope his virginity was put back when the broom was done with it!
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:45 pm rating: +3
#10
amy d
Lol CB!
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm rating: +1
#11
KittyKat
I think Joe needs to get a bunch of his musician friends to stay over and purely abuse the broom and use up all the toilet paper and towels. Bitchy Roommate needs to learn things could be a lot worse.
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:49 pm rating: +2
#12
Canthz_B
Hey, where’s the thank you note for cleaning up your mess, buddy?
Not being needy or asking for validation,
–Joe
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:52 pm rating: +2
#13
Numinous
What kills me is that it had to take twice as long to write the note and stick it to the broom than to actually put it away.
Wait, it must be more than twice as long.
Option 1:
See broom
Pick up broom
Walk to closet (or where ever it is kept)
Open door
Put in broom
Close door
Go to room and pout
Option 2:
See broom
Have hissy fit
Plot non-confrontational way to express hissy fit
Search for note paper
Bitch and whine because can’t find paper
Finally find paper
Write note
Decide note is too “bitchy”
Write new note
Decide note is still too “bitchy”
Add smiley to note
Decide note is STILL too “bitchy
Add ‘I’m not being bitchy…’ disclaimer
Search for tape
Bitch and whine because can’t find tape
Finally find tape
Tape note to broom
Bitch and whine while putting away paper and tape and throwing out reject note
Go to room and pout
See, definitely waaay longer.
Jan 22, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: +11
#14
Canthz_B
Can we really be sure he’s talking about the broom?
Finally, I need more
brokeback story!Jan 22, 2008 at 1:59 pm rating: +1
#15
bellabeastie
And the next to go is the 42″ TV for playing GH… at least there was an effort to clean up the Breakroom… Now we have ” broomage left unattended will be left in place with a double-stick sticky note (tape included) ” So it’s clean and what’s the prob ? Put it away yourself, not to be bitchy or anything….” just playing nice”…TOTALLY freakazoidal…
Team Broom In Places You Can’t Imagine
Jan 22, 2008 at 2:07 pm rating: +2
#16
mamason
OMG! I would so put that broom back where it belongs. Clearly he usually keeps it in his ass.
Jan 22, 2008 at 2:14 pm rating: +4
#17
mamason
Dear roomie,
I really thought you might enjoy a day sans broomstick in rectum. My mistake. I’ll be more than happy to return said broom to it’s proper place. May I suggest that you unclench? Just asking nice.
Jan 22, 2008 at 2:22 pm rating: +3
#18
Canthz_B
Joe comes home after a long, hard day of work, sees note and glares thoughtfully at roommate’s bedroom door…“Oh, I’m not done with it quite yet, go to sleep, my Pretty!”
Jan 22, 2008 at 2:26 pm rating: +1
#19
Karen
Is ‘bitchy’ really a term men use when speaking of themselves or other men ? Seriously ? I would’ve thought the note was written by a female if Joe hadn’t told us his roommate is a guy. In fact, every word of the note resonates effeminate.
Jan 22, 2008 at 2:27 pm rating: +1
#20
Alison
As one who lives with a messy roommate, we have no idea whether Joe consistently “leaves” things out around the house. And the story doesn’t say whether the roommate had put back the broom him/herself and stuck the note on the broom in its proper space. All in all, there’s not enough information provided to call this a “bitchy” note, in my opinion!
Jan 22, 2008 at 3:53 pm rating: +2
#21
Kelly
Well with all the anthropomorphic objects that have been moving themselves around lately, perhaps the broom moved itself.
And now it’s just pissed because it has a shitty note taped to it.
And yes, if you must say “Not trying to be bitchy” …you are being bitchy.
Jan 22, 2008 at 4:00 pm rating: 0
#22
Grimfool_Reluctant
The note is definitely bitchy (although possibly not whiny). The very reason for its existence is bitchiness. Further deconstruction suggests that roommate is not “asking nice” for there is no question, but a directive. And I think whenever someone says “I’m not talking down” or “I’m not condescending,” they obviously are.
I’m not nitpicking (see what I mean?) but the spacing between lines suggests that the first three lines and the twisted smiley were the original content, and the last three lines a classic PA afterthought.
The note also shows that roommate doesn’t bother to apostrophize . . . and what does “put it buck” mean, anyway?
It’s obvious, to me: the roommate is upset because the BROOM is out of the closet.
Jan 22, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: 0
#23
Canthz_B
Al Jarreau…Breaking Away
What have you done for me?
You’re making more work for me.
Broom on the wall,
Look at this sprawl.
I’m in a haze,
I hate my days.
You were my roommate guy.
Promising me, to help my bills to die.
Brought me finance,
Kept me my pants.
Let you move in,
We both could win…
Helping me.
Put it away!
Your carelessness
Is really bothering me!
Put it away!
Your crappy attitude’s,
Disgusting me!
Now, you know me.
You know that I’m no brute.
I’m not bitching,
Or talking down to you.
I opened my door,
We both were poor.
My nerves are thin,
Put broom closet in.
Work with me!
Put it away!
Your carelessness
Is really bothering me!
Put it away!
Your crappy attitude’s,
Disgusting me!
(repeat out)
Jan 22, 2008 at 5:29 pm rating: +4
#24
Lurker
That’s like hitting someone and saying, “I’m not being violent.”
Jan 22, 2008 at 7:15 pm rating: 0
#25
Joe
My room mate (Hey Im Joe, the victim fo this broom-note) is a GAY guy. That’ll explain the “bitchy.”
We just had a hell of a fight last weekend where he actually left a VOICE MAIL on my phone telling me not to leave the “deodorizer unplugged in the living room.” I didnt get the Voice Mail on time so then he confronts me at home the next day and says ….
“Hey I hope you don’t think it was bitchy that I left you a voice mail about the deodorizer … but.. can you please not leave it unplugg…” So I just EXPLODED and told him to F*** Off, and stop acting like a cunt. Then I took the deodorizer and literally through it out the window.
We haven’t spoken since Friday,
Jan 22, 2008 at 9:24 pm rating: +3
#26
raiseyourglass
he didn’t leave the broom out…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUOYi4ppdSU
Jan 22, 2008 at 10:07 pm rating: 0
#27
A.A guy
I just got released from the hospital a few hours ago.I was knocked unconscious by a flying Glade plug in.You should take an anger management course,oh and get a good lawyer.I’m suing.
Jan 22, 2008 at 10:56 pm rating: +5
#28
park rose
Who does the broom belong to? The Wicked
bitchwitch of the West? Don’t worry, Joe. She melts if you throw a bucket of water over her.Jan 23, 2008 at 2:15 am rating: +4
#29
GhostWriter
I spent my lunch break cleanin’ out my closet and look what I found!
Where’s my spare?
I have no spare for my main broom – there you go
Yeah.. yo, yo
Have you ever been treated to this visual event?
I have- and I’m protesting this demonstration of intent.
Picking brooms out my kitchen rooms, look- it resumes!
Stickin’ it behind another folding chair by the dryer.
All this location debatin’ just keeps up Joseph’s berating
Temporar’ly apparent from throwing out my notation
for taking something from one room, given how long it’s been missin’
Keep taking brooms out of storage and leaving them in the kitchen
Leave ‘em in the place they were- as soon as you finish up
See you can handle them, but don’t you abandon them out
Look at me growl; I bet ya hear me bitchin’ real loud, don’t you wanna?
Won’cha take it to the correct closet now?
I’m sorry Joey!
I never meant to irk you-
Remember when you take our broom, that you might
return it to the closet.
(one more time)
I said, I’m sorry Joey!
I never meant to irk you-
Remember when you take our broom, that you might
return it to the closet.
(… sorry, but here’s no way I could ever finish this whole song)
Jan 23, 2008 at 1:03 pm rating: +4
#30
Erica C
I hate, hate, hate when people are controlling and insane and still want to come off as the good guy. Newsflash: you can be easygoing, let shit go, and have people like you, or you can have everything precisely as you want it to be at all times and be detested. There’s no in-between.
Jan 24, 2008 at 11:19 am rating: 0
#31
rt
It would have taken less time if the bitchy roommate would put the broom back himself. I hope its still there.
Jan 24, 2008 at 8:28 pm rating: 0
#32
Diane
IF THERE HAS TO BE A NOTE, THERE HAS TO BE A PROBLEM! THE NOTE WOULDN’T BE WRITTEN IF HE CLEANED AND PUT THINGS BACK. AND FOR ALL OF YOU CONTRIBUTING TO HIS BEHAVIOR ARE ALL PROBABLY MESSY PEOPLE WHO DON’T CARE!
Jan 30, 2008 at 2:58 pm rating: 0
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