This fridge saga (from a Boston-area university lab building) comes to us with a confession on the part of the anonymous submitter: she started it, sort of.
It all began when she discovered that her salad dressing had been mysteriously disposed of. Sad that she had to eat dry lettuce for lunch, she left a note (1) for the black hand responsible “in the least bitchy way I knew how.” She didn’t realize that her soundoff was actually a declaration of war.
Adds our submitter: “Needless to say, I think we have all been spending a little too much time in the lab.”
related: Great, your OCD just caused a diabetic coma. Happy?
86 responses so far ↓
#1
Tyler
What if they do replace their mustard 1x week?
Jan 27, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: 1
#2
Wade
I wonder if the stick figure is a minimalist representation of Edvard Munch’s The Scream?
Jan 27, 2008 at 6:34 pm rating: 7
#3
pry
salad dressing gets thrown out weekly? i can understand an old moldy sandwich, but….
Jan 27, 2008 at 6:39 pm rating: 1
#4
Karen
I love Paint by Numbers. Love it !
So if I take my Sharpie to my screen…1….2…3…4….5…what kind of animal…oh, shit, how do I clean this off ?
Jan 27, 2008 at 6:44 pm rating: 10
#5
Canthz_B
These people need a Joan Rivers intervention: “Can we talk”?!
Jan 27, 2008 at 6:57 pm rating: 1
#6
Denagh
Honestly..these ppl should stop bickering about their mustard or dry salads..and get back to work!! lol
Jan 27, 2008 at 6:58 pm rating: 1
#7
Canthz_B
This was a clever plot to steal anonymous’ salad dressing. Everyone but her received the e-mail!
Jan 27, 2008 at 7:04 pm rating: 4
#8
Luv this site
Even if you do get the heads-up, what are you supposed to do with half a bottle of salad dressing during fridge-cleaning time? Where are you going to store it while the fridge is being cleaned?
Jan 27, 2008 at 7:37 pm rating: 1
#9
Grimfool_Reluctant
What we got here is . . . failure to communicate.
Jan 27, 2008 at 7:52 pm rating: 4
#10
Writerrejected
I personally try to visit my food in the fridge three times a day. If I’m not going to make it for my regular visit, I call for a chat.
Jan 27, 2008 at 7:56 pm rating: 10
#11
Grimfool_Reluctant
Or maybe the fridge nazi thought, “sometimes nothin’ can be a real cool hand.”
Jan 27, 2008 at 7:58 pm rating: 1
#12
analyst
…exactly why I hold on to all of those extra condiment packets! One salad toss, dip, or spread, and pitch the rest!
Jan 27, 2008 at 8:07 pm rating: 0
#13
Canthz_B
“Someone make sure that salad dressing is still good, please”
“Shakin’ it over here, Boss!”
Jan 27, 2008 at 8:12 pm rating: 3
#14
bellabeastie
Where does anyone work that they clean the fridge once a day? Is the stick figure the culprit? Aah. Now we know. Jumps in the fridge, throws out any unclaimed salad dressing and runs laughing into the night…. BaaHaa Haa… (not to mention any leftover sammwitches and packettes)… snicker…..
Jan 27, 2008 at 8:18 pm rating: 1
#15
bellabeastie
Maybe the stick figure took the salad dressing to the Lab? Perchance for testing?
Jan 27, 2008 at 8:22 pm rating: 1
#16
bamBAM!
Coloring in the “e”s in sciences really adds a nice touch to whole situation.
Jan 27, 2008 at 9:32 pm rating: 1
#17
Detective Julie
I feel bad for that little stick guy; I think he was just minding his own business and got caught in the crossfire.
Jan 27, 2008 at 9:33 pm rating: 2
#18
A.A guy
I’d try labeling my salad dressing”urine sample”.That should keep most peoples’ hands off it;especially if you use chunky Italian.
Jan 27, 2008 at 10:01 pm rating: 3
#19
senor subagua
was that extra chunky blue cheese? i thought it was creamy italian last time i visited….
Jan 27, 2008 at 10:31 pm rating: 0
#20
A.A guy
Well it gets lonely in the lab late at night……..
Jan 27, 2008 at 10:42 pm rating: 0
#21
jnadreau
Why not put a date on the dressing with a sharpie when you put it in the fridge? Then everybody knows how old it is. After a year, it’s time to chuck it.
I hope that dressing was fucking delicious.
Jan 27, 2008 at 11:01 pm rating: 0
#22
lola
God forbid you throw out those little packs of ketchup and sweet ‘n’ sour sauce that you get from fast food places, too.
I really love seeing piles of them in the door of the fridge, then someone gets the ingenius idea to put them in a CUP so they can be safe for the rest of eternity because no one would dare use a pack of day old ketchup!!! GASP.
Sorry, where am I?
Jan 27, 2008 at 11:41 pm rating: 1
#23
pickle
Why are there so many different kinds of handwriting? It’s like two sane people left simple, neutral notes… and then six loons leapt out from behind the bins in turn to release all their food-angst and resentment.
Jan 28, 2008 at 3:09 am rating: 2
#24
jean_luc_turbo
God this is a bipolar lab…wonder what they work on…
…anti-depressants?
…energy drinks?
they all need to join a cannabis club…
Jan 28, 2008 at 3:40 am rating: 1
#25
Lizzie
Just so you know, salad dressing is a privilege.
Jan 28, 2008 at 7:24 am rating: 6
#26
Karin
I made a deal with the lady who cleaned out our fridge at work, when I did work – she did it at 2pm on Thursdays and I ordered pizza on Thursdays (enough for lunch on thurs and fri). I gave her a piece of pizza and breadstick on Thursdays and she didn’t throw out my labeled pizza (I had tupperware at work that I put it in so the big box wasn’t taking up so much room) or labeled salad dressing. Now, being a stay-at-home-mom, I wish she would come to my house and clean out my fridge once a week too!
Jan 28, 2008 at 8:53 am rating: 0
#27
GhostWriter
To be fair…
A one-week warning from Dec. 26th to Jan. 2nd doesn’t really count.
The entire box of left-over holiday party chocolate covered strawberries- Gone!
Jan 28, 2008 at 8:53 am rating: 1
#28
GhostWriter
To be fair…
A warning siren is quite different (and not as informative) as a warning note.
Jan 28, 2008 at 9:05 am rating: 0
#29
A.A guy
The answer to this problem is individual fridges.Instead of a bank of little lockers everyone should have little train station sized refrigerators(with combination locks)Once a year a mandatory mass cleaning would occur with the locks being cut off those no longer with the company or not complying.
If your going to act like your still in high school………
Jan 28, 2008 at 9:08 am rating: 1
#30
Lurker
So, does the Fridge Cleaner never keep things like salad dressing in her home fridge more than a week?
Jan 28, 2008 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#31
amy d
Hmm, the fridge cleaner only says “there was a warning for 1 week before it was cleaned”.
They do not indicate the form or location of the warning. Perhaps the cleaner made a sotto voiced announcement in their cube every morning?
Jan 28, 2008 at 9:40 am rating: 1
#32
amy d
I’m also strangely bothered by note #4. Is it a continuation of or an agreement to note #3? Otherwise, it seems incomplete. Is the stick figure a part of note #4? And what is partially erased to the left of Mr. Figure? Maybe if we could see that, not #4 would make complete sense and be a brilliant statement.
Jan 28, 2008 at 9:44 am rating: 0
#33
Lisa
OMG! I haven’t visited my dear old Aunt Gertrude in the nursing home since NOVEMBER!
Jan 28, 2008 at 10:18 am rating: 2
#34
TreeShaker
Man, at the office I work, if anyone takes on the disgusting task of cleaning our fridge, they have the RIGHT to throw out anything. We have some serious science experiments growing in there. My fave is the guy in accounting that brings sardines for lunch – but he doesn’t eat them all at once – so he leaves the open can in the fridge….arphhhruggmmph
Jan 28, 2008 at 11:57 am rating: 1
#35
jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!
Jesus H christ
Jan 28, 2008 at 11:58 am rating: 0
#36
Ariadne
Hmm – since Paul Newman has the salad dressing market cornered, what grocery store items do you suppose Franz Ferdinand would make? (Never mind the fact that he is long dead…)
Jan 28, 2008 at 12:08 pm rating: 3
#37
GhostWriter
I finally figured it out!
The whole “Cool Hand Luke” thing threw me off, but here’s the scoop: The death of the Newman’s Own dressing kicked off a note war, just like the death of arch-duke Franz Ferdinand kicked off World War One.
You mean you already figured it out on your own? …never mind.
Jan 28, 2008 at 12:50 pm rating: 7
#38
Lurker
Franz Perdinand would make Archduke™ cookies.
Archduke™ cookies would be to Archway™ cookies what Fig Newmans™ are to Fig Newtons™.
Jan 28, 2008 at 3:16 pm rating: 4
#39
bamBAM!!
It seems like there has been a lot of fridge cleaning troubles lately. If everyone was like me, and left shit in there until spring cleaning once a decade, no one would have these problems. Just think Thoreau- Walden Pond. (wordy sentence alert) You’ll reach the center of fridge etiquette tranquility which will in turn replenish your ability to live happily amongst roomates who must consume food.
Another solution: Live on SPAM
or…
FROOT LOOPS
or…
CAMPELL’s CHICKEN NOODLE (possibilities)
Jan 28, 2008 at 4:24 pm rating: 1
#40
bamBAM!!
uh… sorry chicken noodle possibilities are hard to live on. I meant soup. okay…
Jan 28, 2008 at 4:26 pm rating: 1
#41
bamBAM!!
Personally, I replace my mustard (X 1 week
Jan 28, 2008 at 4:30 pm rating: 0
#42
magickat
that was an extremely satisfying round of passive aggresiveness. loved the whole numbering thing as well.
well done.
Jan 28, 2008 at 4:33 pm rating: 2
#43
drinless
I’m all for Team I Replace My Mustard Daily, but if no one wants to join, I guess I’ll be for Team Not Salad Dressing Destroyer.
And, as for visiting my food in the fridge… Well, I’m afraid I’m not a fan of cold climates, so I suppose I don’t visit quite often enough for The FridgeCleaner.
Jan 28, 2008 at 4:42 pm rating: 2
#44
Neil
Fridge cleaning in an employee environment is a bitch!!!….but come on people if it is a condiment , leave it in the fridge!!!…those things last for eons…..no one is scoring you on how great you cleaned the fridge….and making a point by throwing out condiments makes you a loser….not a hero in your work environment…
Jan 30, 2008 at 4:12 am rating: 2
#45
Karsoe
Bloody hell, it looks like it was written by David Foster Wallace.*
[* - not that I have anything against him.]
Nov 6, 2008 at 3:27 am rating: 0
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