Ashley in Chicago says her roommates are the king and queen of passive-aggressive notes. (“If they ever found this site, they’d think it was a self help group,” she says.) The latest example:
Ashley’s still fuming over this one. “I mean, come on. Just throw it away yourself! You’re probably exerting more energy writing the email and stressing about it,” she says. “And why do you think I’ve been spending so much time at my boyfriend’s anyway?”
127 responses so far ↓
#1
senor subagua
that sour milk was fucking disgusting
sorry… couldn’t resist
Jan 29, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: 9
#2
landshark
Nice!
Jan 29, 2008 at 9:53 pm rating: 0
#3
landshark
That is some grade A, top choice passive aggression!
Jan 29, 2008 at 9:54 pm rating: 2
#4
lola
did it ever occur to ashley that the roommates can’t do these things themselves? look at how hard it is to open milk jugs! and tearing off a piece of aluminum foil to lay in the bottom of the oven is just TOO DAMNED COMPLICATED – all those jagged teeth… ugh!
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: 8
#5
Grimfool_Reluctant
Pathetic. Sure, it’s not your “responsibility” to throw out the soured milk, but it also wasn’t your responsibility to clean out the “crap” in the oven that was causing your house to fill with smoke. Apply the same logic to the milk, roomie. (Obviously these people don’t work at the Franz Ferdinand Sciences Lab!)
P.S. — C’mon, Ashley, I think we all know why you’re spending time at your boyfriend’s house, wink, wink, nudge nudge.
P.P.S.– You mean this ISN’T a self-help group?
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:20 pm rating: 4
#6
boris
sour, curdled milk is fucking disgusting, especially if you don’t drink milk yourself.
a room full of smoke, pretty annoying – depends upon how often it happens as to how irritating it rates (or grates).
having roomies expect you to throw out their 4 week old, fungus sprouting, sewer pit smelling, mutton stew (or anything similiar), is just plain lazy, inconsiderate and, yeah, disrespectful.
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:25 pm rating: 20
#7
Wade
There is no use crying over soured milk.
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:29 pm rating: 6
#8
A.A guy
Try pouring your old milk into her new carton and really give her something to bitch about. Or you could just label it “urine sample”.
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:32 pm rating: 4
#9
Maddy
I’m on my own personal learning curve.
Cheers
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:33 pm rating: 0
#10
Grimfool_Reluctant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiHh1u2poOg
System of a Down/Power Struggle
Give it a whiff,
Milk in a funky carton,
I wouldn’t sniff,
It smells like some cow fartin’,
Smoke in the air,
But I cleaned the oven for you,
It isn’t fair,
Milk in a funky carton,
Seeing you are not here, us, we are here
With the sour milk,
Inhaling, then paling, wheezing,
The sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
Right in the sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
Right in the sour struggle.
Wearing gas masks,
Milk in a funky carton,
Just thought I’d ask,
Not grant another pardon
Fumes in the air,
But it is waiting for you,
It isn’t fair,
Milk in a funky carton,
Seeing you are not here, us, we are here
With the sour milk,
Inhaling, then paling, wheezing,
The sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
Right in the sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
Right in the sour struggle.
We can’t throw it out,
In the sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
In the sour struggle.
May I remind you,
May I remind you,
May I remind you, May I remind you,
May I remind you,
May I remind you, May I remind you,
May I remind you,
May I remind you,
May I remind you,
May I remind you,
May I remind you,
Your milk is past its expiration,
Seeing you are not here, us, we are here
With the sour milk,
Inhaling, then paling, wheezing,
The sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
Right in the sour struggle,
We can’t throw it out,
Right in the sour struggle.
We can’t throw it out,
In the sour struggle.
Jan 29, 2008 at 10:41 pm rating: 12
#11
rachel
sorry y’all, i agree with boris. ashley must have never smelled sour milk. that shit is NASTY, and i’m not about to throw out somebody else’s expired crap.
as for the oven, is she suggesting it just never get cleaned? cause she’s obviously not volunteering to do it herself. if anyone’s being passive aggressive here, it’s ashley, who’s trying to dodge any and all domestic responsibility by simply not being there.
Jan 29, 2008 at 11:03 pm rating: 22
#12
jacquilynne
I wouldn’t want to throw out someone’s skanky ass milk, either. The smell of rotting milk makes me wretch. Then I’d have to follow up emptying their skanky assed milk carton with cleaning up my skanky assed puke, and frankly, that’s a whole lot more energy than sending an email to the inconsiderate roommate who apparently can’t throw her own milk away.
Jan 29, 2008 at 11:50 pm rating: 6
#13
Writerrejected
Wow, that’s some douchey PAN. Just throw the skanky milk out, rommie; I’d hardly call that a roommate duty. I also love how dangerous everything seems to this roommate. It reminds me of Hill Street Blues, when the Captain always said, “Okay, let’s be careful out there.” Only he was talking about being cops, and she’s talking about baking cookies. I say: totally annoying.
Jan 30, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: 3
#14
pallasathena
Well, if she’s never home, she’s hardly the one baking and making a mess of the oven.
Jan 30, 2008 at 12:21 am rating: 5
#15
mango
Hmm I don’t see anything wrong with your roommate’s letter. If anything it seems as if it’s justified. Throw your shit away, clean up after your mess. Sort of basic stuff…No wait that is basic but then again some people don’t know how to even do that. I hope your roommate continues to educate you seems like you need it if you can’t even throw out milk.
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:28 am rating: 8
#16
estella
oh my gosh!! so reminds me of my old roomate… she hated having magnets on the front of the fridge so everytime she moved them on the side I’d move them to the front just to piss her off.
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:55 am rating: 1
#17
Tyler
I guess I don’t see what the huge deal is of throwing away a carton of milk if it is smelling up the place and the person is gone. (Considering there are much worse issues…theft, rocks, and anything having to do with feces) Then again I usually just pen up the rage and skip PA and go straight to A…
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:58 am rating: 1
#18
skim
I’m with the roommates on this one. Spoiled milk and oven crap is pure evil. I would have hand written the note with a scratch n sniff box where she could confirm that the milk was indeed expired.
oh and then i’d tape the note to a broom in her room.
Jan 30, 2008 at 2:04 am rating: 2
#19
Life With Buck
“Know” this Ashley, your roommates are total tools.
Jan 30, 2008 at 2:49 am rating: 1
#20
jean_luc_turbo
Uhh, sour milk happens…all concerned should consider oneself deputized to throw it out. ‘Specially like when you took out the Three Mile Island tongs to check the carton’s expiration date–howzabout continuing the process and throw it out.
OH and thanks for the enlightenment about how WE ALL use the oven, thought you were too caught up your Freudian anal retentive period to actually not let food out in the open air, let alone be prepared in a communal oven…
…this is why I live A-PHUCKING-LONE!
Oh and while I’m catharsing vicariously…it’s YOU’RE not YOUR, cheerleader…
Jan 30, 2008 at 3:17 am rating: 1
#21
Neil
Okay…..this person seems to have the place to him or herself…..or at least one room mate away and they are complaining about sour milk….throw it out yourself you cow…you are saving a fortune on electric and hydro bills in the absense of your roomies…and have more space to yourself….throwing out sour milk sounds like a great trade off….maybe your roomies are not around because of you…maybe beacause you are too sour…sounds like they’ve already thrown you away….
Jan 30, 2008 at 3:56 am rating: 0
#22
Cobriel
I agree with ashley on this. I have housemates who if they didn’t make the mess, no matter how small or easy to clean up (seriously, they once left one of my hairs in the shower, but removed all of theirs), and choose to bitch about it through some shitty note.
Why did they wait for the milk to go off? It’s hardly like she would have wanted it after it had gone off. Just throw it out! It can’t be worse than suffering with a rank smelling fridge.
Jan 30, 2008 at 4:11 am rating: 1
#23
q-tip
I wonder what the other ‘really old stuff’ was?
Jan 30, 2008 at 5:26 am rating: 1
#24
rt
Spoiled milk may be smelly but the wrath of a roommate is less tolerable. If someone who lived with me left a sorry note like that then I would give them a real reason to complain.
I’m assuming that Ashley and said roommates moved in with each other because they are/were friends– so they should be communicating with each other in a more decent manner than a passive-aggressive note.
Jan 30, 2008 at 5:44 am rating: 0
#25
Miss Muffet
garbage, milk
I am milk
I am Ashley’s kitchen
And I am sour
Sour as a heaving motion
Date is past
So I smell cruel
But I’d be love and sweetness
If out you threw (me).
I’m waiting
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting
I’m waiting for you
All this week
What a pong
I can use my peeves to
Bring you home
I’m waiting
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting
I’m waiting for you
I’m waiting
I’m waiting for you
Ashley’s milk
Ashley’s not in kitchen
Ashley’s food
food to heat a rancid potion.
She’s waiting
She’s waiting for you
She’s waiting
She’s waiting for you
She’s waiting
She’s waiting for you
She’s has baking
Has baking to do
She’s waiting
She’s waiting
She’s waiting for you.
Jan 30, 2008 at 7:09 am rating: 4
#26
Rachel
As someone who’s CONSTANTLY cleaning up after my incompetent roommate, I sympathize with the note leaver. It’s like my mom always tells me: if I wanted to have kids to clean up after, I would’ve gotten knocked up in high school like all my friends.
Jan 30, 2008 at 9:03 am rating: 6
#27
Making a Confession here
I once left a note INSIDE my cereal box. I knew my roommate would see it when she ate my cereal. And she did.
Jan 30, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: 6
#28
Rush
Sounds like Ashley is just a lazy little peice of crap to me. Clean up after yourself you lazy little lump.. Or go home to your Momma..
Jan 30, 2008 at 9:20 am rating: 4
#29
amy d
That note really is painfully polite.
Team Just ‘Cause You’re Shacking Up Somewhere Else Doesn’t Mean You Forfeit Responsibility.
Jan 30, 2008 at 9:26 am rating: 5
#30
Sister Sassy
My college roommate would leave sticky notes on the VCR and light switch that said “Turn me off”…and we lived in the Dorm. I’m sure she was just being energy conscious but COME ON
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:58 am rating: 0
#31
mere
i’m sort of on the side of the note writer.. just in the fact that if ashley is spending so much time at her boyfriend’s, then why even buy milk?
why buy anything? why even live there?
now, as for throwing out the milk.. the note writer should (dispose of said milk) if he’s so bothered by it.
Jan 30, 2008 at 11:26 am rating: 2
#32
KickitKitsune
Sorry Ashley,
I’m with your roomates on this one. You bought it, you let it sour, you throw it out. It’s one thing to do somebody a favour when you’re cleaning out the fridge, but to expect them to clean up after you is just disrespectful.
Plus, you could have used the energy you used posting this to passiveagressivenotes to clean out your stinky milk.
Or, maybe you can give your roomates some cash– if you’re expecting them to clean up after you like a maid.
Jan 30, 2008 at 12:18 pm rating: 4
#33
Aleks
I can kind of see this from both sides, but I honestly don’t see why the the roomie wouldn’t just toss out the bad milk. Don’t even open it, just take it directly to the Dumpster. No muss, no fuss. And no more smell. And, geez Ashley, why don’t you move out if your roommates bug you so much? May I suggest your boyfriend’s place? As you’re spending so much time there you don’t get to even see your wonderful roommates anymore…
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:05 pm rating: 4
#34
SarahArah
This is obviously the first time this happened, or the she would have been complaining about that too. The first time around, I don’t see why she can’t just say “oh she must have forgotten, I’ll help her out” instead of “how dare she do this”. I also strongly doubt the milk was actually curdling, she seems like she is exaggerating. I’ve had roommates leave expired milk in the fridge for much longer than that and it doesn’t affect anything around it or smell unless it’s opened. As for “common roommate duties” why should you make an effort to go home specifically to clean up after them if you aren’t even using the place? I wouldn’t want to spend time at home either if she’s always this hostile. Luckily you have somewhere to escape. Good luck riding out the rest of the lease!
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:19 pm rating: 1
#35
Max
I’m sort of on the side of the “note writer” on this one. If you are not home very often, then don’t buy things and let them spoil in the fridge.
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:28 pm rating: 2
#36
mmm
Team Ashley all the way. It was a JUG of milk. There was NO smell- it was just gross looking. The note writing bitch should have no problem just tossing it out with the chunks of burnt cheese from the oven. Sour milk does not warrant a note. Neither does the fact that you are going to clean out an oven. The bitch is looking for a freakin’ medal or something.
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:29 pm rating: 0
#37
JPav
I love that she emailed a person that lives in her own house. Does no one hand write on a sticky note anymore?
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:34 pm rating: 1
#38
JPav
Can you imagine the PAN that would be left by Ashley if the spoiled milk was actually thrown out?
Jan 30, 2008 at 1:37 pm rating: 1
#39
seeyounexttuesday
Dearest Ashely:
Please stop being a cunt and throw your shit away. If you’re going to be an adult and sign a lease, then accept the responsibility that goes with it. Be a fucking slob on your own time with your own shit where it doesn’t affect any one else. Stupid bitch. Also, if you would be so kind, please die.
Love,
Humankind.
Jan 30, 2008 at 2:09 pm rating: 3
#40
GVI
Roomie is a dick, come on, so you telling me instead of just throwing out the milk you say is curdling and smelling up the fridge, you decide to send an email? If I were Ashley I wouldn’t come home and see how long roomie would leave the milk in there.
P.S. The milk was only 6 days past the expired date so I really don’t think it was that bad.
Jan 30, 2008 at 3:07 pm rating: 1
#41
unholyghost2003
While I admit to being public enemy #1 when it comes to leaving shit in the fridge long enough for it to develop sentient life … when I was living alone I was VERY good at disposing of old food. (This IS going somewhere I promise) I was good about this because I am VERY allergic to mold. Cleaning out a fridge full of mold will put me in bed for a day with an allergy attack.
Ashley, I wasn’t going to toss your stuff until it was CLEAR it was beyond eating. Once it hit that point YOU need to clean it out because I will be DAMNED if I am going to miss a day of work just to clean up after your absent ass.
Jan 30, 2008 at 4:07 pm rating: 1
#42
Suhayla
Roommate should have thrown out the milk his/her self. And then she should have proceeded to throw out anything else she suspected of going bad. And then she should have left NO note. And then, Ashley could have been the note-writer wondering why her salad dressing and mini ketchups were tossed.
Jan 30, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 1
#43
secondsout
I must admit my own PA tendencies. I would be tempted to move the slightly gross milk into the person’s bedroom along with the PAN, to let the thing get really disgusting outside the fridge. When roommie is home, her room would stink, and she would get the point.
Jan 30, 2008 at 5:00 pm rating: 3
#44
secondsout
I sympathize with the PAN sender, as I have that same problem at work. We have this inconsiderate slob here who leaves all her leftovers in the fridge until they’re totally moldy and stink up the entire break room. I end up being the one who cleans out the fridge and it grosses me out. I’m sick of it, but my boss won’t ever force this bitch to clean up after herself.
Jan 30, 2008 at 5:02 pm rating: 3
#45
Quite Contrary
I thank god email did not exist when I lived with my college roommate (currently the closet alcoholic Junior Leaguer). My inbox would have been a living hell.
Jan 30, 2008 at 5:40 pm rating: 0
#46
mamason
“I understand you’re probably pretty busy nannying and stuff these days” ? What is she? A goat?
Jan 30, 2008 at 6:12 pm rating: 1
#47
Bettie
This isn’t a self-help group?
Jan 30, 2008 at 7:17 pm rating: 2
#48
jnadreau
“…let’s just be really careful and clean up anything that drops after cooking.” Does that mean she can leave uncooked food on the bottom of the oven? How about the spoiled milk?
Jan 30, 2008 at 8:45 pm rating: 0
#49
sally
sour milk stink has nothing on rotten raw chicken. I left my roommate a PAN about the afore-mentioned chicken she left in the fridge, and she rectified the situation by taking it out of the fridge–and leaving it on the counter! Never mind an apartment full of oven smoke: when I walked into the apartment, (and past the chicken packet that now seemed to be filled with an orange gelatinous substance) the air was so thick with foulness that it was…like in those cartoons when the air has those squiggly waves in it. Uck. (the moral of my story is, when being passive aggressive to your roommate, make sure that the roommate is not more passive aggressive than you!)
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm rating: 2
#50
ged
…so basically, ashley has been spending time at her boyfriend’s…so she could avoid cleaning up after herself…?
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:24 pm rating: 1
#51
unholyghost2003
All of this has lit a fire under my ass to clean MY fridge. With all of this PA fridge fighting … anyone know WHAT would cause my fridge to smell like horseradish, since I don’t believe I currently own any horseradish? I want to gird my loins.
Jan 31, 2008 at 8:11 am rating: 0
#52
nikki
I am on team note writer. my roommate is a busy vegetarian who fills the fridge with fresh veggies every week only to allow them, for the most part, to slowly spoil and fill the fridge with nastiness. The spoiling veggies sometimes get so pungent that they drip little black rotten veggie juice onto other things in the fridge, and over the course of the months of living here I have tapered off on my fridge-goods buying and slowly moved over all of my food stuffs into a small little corner of the fridge left untouched by spoil. Please, for the love of God, if you’re going to buy goods that spoil, don’t just leave them to escalate in nastiness, turning your entire fridge into a ticking time bomb of passive aggression!!
Jan 31, 2008 at 10:09 am rating: 2
#53
aj
Doesn’t a jug of milk have a lid on it? The letter-writer didn’t say “the fridge reeks of sour milk,” so I don’t see what his issue is. Pick up the closed jug of milk, deposit in trash, done. What’s the fucking problem?
Jan 31, 2008 at 2:33 pm rating: 0
#54
aj
Oh no, dumping it out and rinsing the jug!? How awful!!
Maybe it’s because my roommate and I actually like each other, but that email is so petty and stupid to me. If my roommate has sour milk, I throw it out. If I have sour milk, she throws it out. The end. If the mere presence of sour milk in a closed container bothers you enough to write a lengthy email about it, then it bothers you enough to throw it out your damn self. “I just wanted to let you know that you left sour milk in the fridge and I threw it out” is a hell of a lot less PA than “I don’t believe it’s my responsibility” and “I just hope you can still be respectful.” Like, really? She forgot to throw away her milk, buddy, she didn’t take a shit on the floor. Why don’t you fucking relax? (The emailer, not unholyghost2003)
Jan 31, 2008 at 3:00 pm rating: 0
#55
Lurker
Tack the price of a can of Easy-Off onto her share of the rent.
Jan 31, 2008 at 3:56 pm rating: 1
#56
Goldie
I once had a roommate who soaked her dirty laundry in water and detergent and left it like that for three weeks. By the time the rest of us stopped suspecting each other & figured out it was hers, the laundry had generated all forms of organic life. So uh, yeah, ever since then I’ve been on the team Throw out your nasty shit. I don’t want to be the one to toss something my roommate had bought with her money, as it may get me into all sorts of problems with her. I expect her to get rid of her stinky stuff. And yes, I did leave the note saying that unless the smelly laundry was gone in 24 hours, I would toss it down the garbage chute. Worked like a charm.
Feb 5, 2008 at 11:06 am rating: 2
#57
cass
I guess I kinda see where the roommate is coming from. Sure, she could have just done it herself but after a while, it gets frustrating to clean up after your adult roommates. *shrugs*
Feb 10, 2008 at 8:42 pm rating: 1
#58
maija
Did my old roommate Meagan write this? It sounds like the roommate who would call me and leave nasty messages on my cell phone to come home and do dishes I had not used when it was “my night”. I eventually did leave, but not before rolling a potato under her messy bed.
Feb 11, 2008 at 7:19 pm rating: 2
#59
red storm
Throwing away someone else’s nasty fridge business once in a while is fine, but I’m suspicious that Ashley comes home sporadically, makes a big mess, then leaves the scene of the crime so her roomates either clean up after her or resort to notes like this. A note on the note, too — if she’s rarely home, it might be hard for her roommates to communicate with her in person. I don’t think this note really qualifies as passive aggressive. I’d say Ashley should probably move in with her boyfriend so they can wallow in their own messes together or grow up and clean up.
Feb 11, 2008 at 9:13 pm rating: 1
#60
ghrelin
the note in question was direct in its address and reference to the problem at hand; in other words, it was not passive aggressive.
conversely, resenting suggestions via a public forum rather then dialogging with your roommates, is passive aggressive.
how bout you clean up your shit so your roomies don’t have to and get on with your day.
Mar 6, 2008 at 2:27 pm rating: 2
#61
Meredith
OMG. Throw. It. Out. Yourself.
Mar 23, 2008 at 12:23 pm rating: 0
#62
Doesn't Matter
Sadly I’ve learned that you become very petty when you live with people. You’d be surprised at the shit you put yourself through in hopes of proving a point to your roommate.
Jul 25, 2008 at 6:01 am rating: 0
#63 deviled egg, anyone?
[...] related: crying over sour milk [...]
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: 0
#64
jughead
You should be conisdered lucky. I probably would have just put the milk in your bedroom.
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: 2
#65
AnnArborTeach
Oh my goodness – this post makes me so happy not to live with roommates anymore.
Jan 26, 2009 at 6:08 pm rating: 0
#66
Jennifer
I don’t think this really qualifies as passive-aggressive. Just because a request is in writing vs in person. doesn’t mean it’s p-a. Perhaps she wants it in writing, or they don’t see each other because of different schedules. The tone is friendly, not sarcastic. It’s direct and respectful (although she could have used a word other than crap, because I doubt there was “crap” in the oven.) Leaving the milk may be p-a, but the note itself isn’t.
Jan 28, 2009 at 2:39 pm rating: 1
Comments are Closed