“the tiny sioux city, iowa airport had a jaw-droppingly comprehensive intro to what one could or could not take on board a plane,” reports timoni in san francisco, including actual sample-sized bottles of toiletries taped up, show-and-tell style. “the corker, though, was this vehement note near the end (which, yes, had a plastic QUART-SIZE BAG!!!!!!!!! taped underneath).”
related: if the tsa was in charge of the office fridge; you gotta keep ‘em separated
62 responses so far ↓
#1
anglophile
The red, white and blue theme represents the glory of the United States, while the yellow lying-down D-shape represents what happens to Democracy if we try to smuggle too much shampoo on board.
I’m pretty sure Rudy Giuliani designed this notice.
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:27 pm rating: +11
#2
secondsout
I could state the obvious and say it should be “itself,” not “it’s self.” But that would be rude. oh wait, too late.
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:27 pm rating: +2
#3
secondsout
Does the quart-sized bag need to be x-rayed by itself, or would it make more sense if it had the approved toiletries inside?
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:30 pm rating: +1
#4
GVI
Awesome move TSA. X-ray those clear plastic bags, lord knows what someone might have in them.
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:35 pm rating: +3
#5
mamason
Holy crap! What if you don’t have a quart size bag? Did I miss the memo? NO ONE TOLD ME I HAD TO HAVE A QUART SIZE BAG!
*just breathe… breathe*
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:41 pm rating: +2
#6
Sue Do Nim
If I separate it, my quart size(d) bag will no longer be a bag.
Jan 30, 2008 at 10:55 pm rating: +5
#7
Max
You got to keep ‘em separated.
Also, I’ve found that if you put SOME liquids in your quart-sized bag, and keep the others in your purse/briefcase/whatever, you get through. It’s like they stop looking once they see the ziplock.
In addition, my eyebrow tweezers have been on my carry-on for two years with zero stops. I consider them my terrorism-fighting tweezers, right up there with the plastic knives they give you to eat.
Jan 30, 2008 at 11:03 pm rating: +1
#8
Team Cassandra
Zis ART! Eet ees so BREFTAKINGUE!
Zis cutteenand zis paysteen! Magnifique!
Zees plenty plenty esclamassions!
Zis rred vis zis blu! And zee yello vis zis vaite!
I moost find zis signmakerr!
I moost have zis SIGN!
I have travelllled so farr and so vaide and neffer – NEFFER! – haf I seen such BEAUTAY!
Jan 30, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: +5
#9
raiseyourglass
just sayin’…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuq0Rlll3cE
Jan 30, 2008 at 11:42 pm rating: +3
#10
Kelly
I want to bring a bag that is like a quart and an ounce size. Just to piss them off.
And I won’t pull it out for them to x-ray either.
Jan 30, 2008 at 11:49 pm rating: +1
#11
secondsout
Is it just me, or would the picture have been better if the whole scene had been included, and not just the note? Maybe what this person finds jaw-droppingly comprehensive should be on display, too.
Jan 31, 2008 at 12:39 am rating: 0
#12
Tyler
Can I substitute four cup sized bags for the one quart size bag?
Jan 31, 2008 at 12:41 am rating: +1
#13
secondsout
If I were more ambitious, I might attempt a song parody of “Keep ‘em Separated” by the Offspring, but I’m waaay too lazy.
Jan 31, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: 0
#14
Mystic
I wonder how many condoms you can fit in a clear quart-sized bag?
Jan 31, 2008 at 1:03 am rating: +1
#15
Questionnert
And I gots’ a do it by my’s self??????
Jan 31, 2008 at 2:01 am rating: +1
#16
Emily
I love the excessive exclamation points. But in all honesty, I sort of sympathize with the security people…I’ve waited a LONG time in a lot of short security lines because people just couldn’t figure this one out, despite the near CONSTANT announcements playing.
Jan 31, 2008 at 4:02 am rating: +1
#17
park rose
Please especially forgive (me for) the third verse!
fine young cannibals, suspicious minds
We’re caught in a trap, we can’t walk out,
Because the queue’s too much crazy,
Why can’t they see, what they’re doin’ to me,
When they don´t believe a word we’re sayin´?
You can’t get on the airliner – with suspicious vials
Must decant, instill our creams (in bags), or leave them behind.
I brought an odd compound I know;
lye, eardrops hairspray, jello
Will I see suspicion in their eyes?
Here they go again,
ask me to pare and screen
They can’t see the tears I’ve skived – tears I – tears I’ve skived.
We can’t get on the airliner, with suspicious vials
Must decant, instill our creams (in bags) or leave them behind.
Oh, wildflower Dove, Pamolive,
You’ll lose the gear you buy.
Don´t let these good things behind, you know,
Have a quart-sized issue, to-go, car-go!
We’re caught in a trap, we can’t walk out,
Because the queue’s too much crazy,
Why can’t they see, what they’re doin’ to me,
When they don´t believe a word we’re sayin´?
We can’t get on the airliner, with suspicious vials
Must decant, instill our creams (in bags) or leave them behind…
and so on
Jan 31, 2008 at 5:11 am rating: +4
#18
Ozymandias
If we give up our exclamation points, we’ll no longer be able to see why the comments turn green.
Jan 31, 2008 at 5:20 am rating: +2
#19
amy d
I feel like the sign is speaking directly to, nay, screaming at me and only me. *Scurries to the kitchen, removes the quart sized bags from the box and begins covering the counters with them, making sure that no bags encroach the boundaries of another. *
Jan 31, 2008 at 7:04 am rating: +3
#20
kcb
This should be reported to http://apostrophe-abuse.blogspot.com. Is there a site for exclamation point-abuse?
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:26 am rating: 0
#21
amy d
Since this airport is all about show and tell , perhaps the number of exclamation points (9) represents the total number of liquid containers one is allowed to carry on to the plane, as long as they are properly bagged and x-rayed?
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:29 am rating: +3
#22
unholyghost2003
They must have seen this flier
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/011508/apostrophes-for-sale.gif
(Thanks Toothpaste For Dinner!)
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:36 am rating: 0
#23
Sister Sassy
Good thing they TYPED ALL IN CAPS SO EVERYONE COULD KNOW THEY WERE SCREAMING
That note was probably meant for someone like me who hasn’t flown since Spring of 2000 and has no clue what to do at the airport.
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: +3
#24
Ariadne
Hmm – the “kindergarten cut-and-paste” quality of this notice is hardly a comforting indication of the level of professionalism at this airport. Yikes.
Jan 31, 2008 at 10:07 am rating: +2
#25
KittyKat
What if I just have a lowercase quart-sized bag? Does that need to be separated too?
Jan 31, 2008 at 10:15 am rating: +1
#26
amy d
The Red, White and Blue colors represent patriotism. The yellow represents urine. Therefore, the subliminal message here is:
You are pissing on America if you do not follow this rule.
Jan 31, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: +2
#27
Lurker
“Well, yes, my wife’s a petite lady, but people usually call her ‘pint size,’ not ‘quart size.’”
Jan 31, 2008 at 10:28 am rating: +1
#28
Carlina
Nothin’ more aggravating than people who still don’t know the FAA airport safety rules.
Feb 2, 2008 at 6:04 pm rating: 0
#29
eepp
Then there’s the announcement I heard at O’Hare: “Once again, this is the last and final boarding call for flight XXXX…” Wait, last _and_ final–and once _again_?!? And they said it at least five times. Each time it got on my last (and final) nerve.
Jul 21, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: 0
#30
Gavelect
I know some people feel victimised by security measures at airports, and the thought of being profiled is not nice either but after witnessing some of the terror scenes from one of the Ramada Jarvis Glasgow Airport hotels in Scotland I feel a little safer knowing that security measures at all airports across the globe have been beefed up since. After all if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about.
Nov 20, 2009 at 5:20 am rating: 0
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