Amanda spotted this on the door of the post office in Milford, Pennsylvania. (Confidential to the fecal matter general: Dude, I know recycling can be a hassle sometimes, but this seems like a little much.)

Perhaps the Brooklynites who issued this poetical preemptive warning knew what they were doing all along…

related: this is why your server is cranky

After noticing a tell-tale crisping sleeve in the garbage, Charlie in New York spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.

(Though if you ask Jim Gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)

related: I swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign

Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!

UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!

related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books

When Julie in Elkhart, Indiana saw this note from her roommate, Molly…

…she decided it was time to go on the offensive.

Then came the counter attack…

…and then Julie photographed the exchange and sent it to us.

Game, set, match.

related: I know where she lives

Mara in Minneapolis ( average temperature in January: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store — and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. No, like many workers, the crazy person driving Mara crazy was her boss — the author of the masterpiece below.

Mara says she lasted three weeks before her boss made her so angry that she walked out and never looked back. (No, not even to leave a little surprise behind in the bath—er, fitting room. That’s management-level thinking, folks.)

related: When nature calls

Chonny lives in Manhattan apartment with three spirited roommates, and they enjoy, on occasion, knocking back a few glasses of wine for an impromptu roomie-bonding sing-a-long.

“One night around 10, after a particularly taxing day, we decided to bring the vibe down with a little Peter Gabriel,” Chonny says. “As we all belted out ‘In Your Eyes’ — with a couple of tears in ours — we heard a voice shout across the alley, “YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!” The next day, one of our uptown girls found this note pasted to the callbox downstairs.

Adds Chonny: “What really upsets me is that the writer doesn’t know the difference between Peter and Billy. Shall we move onto Bon Jovi?”

related: it was an ironic dance party, okay?; movin’ out (anthony’s song)

Octavio in Munich says that his landlord (who shares the same apartment) is a regular high priest of paternalistic little — the entire flat is covered with them. On the bathroom wall, for example, this glorious collage is what stares back at those seated on the throne. (Altogether now: “holy shiße!”)

going OUT?…
must turn the light OFFFF!!!

so, then…
byeeeee!…

please!!!
use the toilet brush!!!

.

Poor Chase.

related: WoW, indeed