Curse as much as you want, dude: you’re still bitching about body wash. (Personally, that’s what I’d call a gamekiller.)
related: I swear this isn’t some sort of stealth viral marketing campaign
Roommate fumes; Unilever marketing execs rejoice
February 3rd, 2008 · 66 comments
FILED UNDER: beer · Brooklyn · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · New York · roommates · stealing · whiteboard
66 responses so far ↓
#1
Tim
that fucking beer was fucking delicious.
Feb 3, 2008 at 8:47 pm rating: 8
#2
HendrixIsTheCat
the karl rove chalkboard valentine will probably tell him who did it
Feb 3, 2008 at 8:51 pm rating: 5
#3
fantasy
Whoever must smell very nice. But after drinking your beer he should think about getting into your mouthwash too! At least your fucking Oral B toothbrush.
Feb 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm rating: 2
#4
fantasy
Tom,
Loved the shower and the beer. Please now will you quit FUCKING around and just talk to whoever?
Thank You,
Fucking Whoever
Feb 3, 2008 at 9:21 pm rating: 1
#5
park rose
There goes one third of February’s exclamation mark quota.
Feb 3, 2008 at 9:25 pm rating: 7
#6
park rose
It’s a leap year, too, dangnabit. One extra day to the month, before you can top up. Punctuation penury all ’round, I’m afraid.
Feb 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm rating: 1
#7
fantasy
One exclamation point for everytime he says FUCK. *they do kind of resemble penises or is it peni*? Is there some hidden meaning to this?
Feb 3, 2008 at 10:04 pm rating: 1
#8
Wade
Maybe the shower gel and beer are tired of being used by Tom for his own carnal pleasure.
Feb 3, 2008 at 10:29 pm rating: 6
#9
Tom (The Real Deal)
Come on, it was a six pack of Heineken Light! And the body wash was that Old Spice combo shampoo! Next time I’m writing in red to make it look more angry! Fuck!
Feb 3, 2008 at 10:37 pm rating: 2
#10
Grimfool_Reluctant
Tom: Real men drink beer. Real men do not use shower gel, or, if they do, they call it “soap.” Real men drink other people’s beer and use other people’s soap, but they fucking don’t fucking replace them.
Signed, Fucking Whoever
P.S. — That Hollywood magnet? As close as you’re ever gonna get, hombre.
Feb 3, 2008 at 10:41 pm rating: 7
#11
S.S.
Hahaha, I love this one. It’s just so honest.
Or, in other words, this fucking note is fucking great.
Feb 3, 2008 at 10:47 pm rating: 2
#12
Wade
WTF?!?
Does that magnetic chalkboard have “heart” Karl Rove on it? And Steve and Julian holding hands in a flower-filled sunlit meadow?
um, I think after seeing that, I would have to drink the beer and the shower gel.
Feb 3, 2008 at 10:54 pm rating: 0
#13
Tom (The Real Deal)
That hollywood magnet is property of my gay roomates who are holding hands in that flower-filled sunlit meadow prancing around looking for karl rove. But maybe if you come over to our house we can run a train on you all the way from New York to Hollywood.
::kisses::
Feb 3, 2008 at 11:18 pm rating: 0
#14
Canthz_B
I hope Tom has had “The Talk” with his shower gel and his beer because if they get mine pregnant it’s on!!
Feb 3, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 1
#15
Tom (The Real Deal)
Actually none of us are gay… I was assuming that Grimfool was one of those super cool hipster chicks from Brooklyn. The three of us want so badly to be part of that cool alt-crowd.
Feb 3, 2008 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
#16
Tom (The Real Deal)
Oh thank you so much for being supportive. I hope my parents are ok with being the parents of a hipster…
Feb 3, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: 2
#17
Suebob
I blame fucking R
Feb 4, 2008 at 12:05 am rating: 1
#18
Tyler
This thievery has been brought to you by: the letter “R”. With additional support provided by: Carl Rove, and viewers like you.
Feb 4, 2008 at 1:37 am rating: 7
#19
secondsout
Fun Fact: that thing in the top left of the fridge is a chart that converts fucking cups to fucking ounces to fucking teaspoons to fucking tablespoons to fucking milliliters.
Feb 4, 2008 at 3:36 am rating: 3
#20
mjohnson
I’m not sure this one falls under the banner of passive aggressive. It’s just aggressive and rightly so. You don’t steal a mans beer. (Let’s overlook the shower gel.) – Whoever, your going to have to buy at least twice the amount of beer you drank before you make up for this one. You might want to think about that before you go round drinking other peoples beer you fine smelling bastard.
Feb 4, 2008 at 6:38 am rating: 1
#21
Lurker
I wonder if the thief is using the beer to wash his hair while he soaps up with the shower gel. Remember Body on Tap™ Shampoo? Or am I the only ancient crone in the room?
Anyway, it’s obvious that the shower gel and beer were stolen by pirates, who left a note of their own. It says, “R.”
Feb 4, 2008 at 8:49 am rating: 7
#22
Bellabeastie
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Mateys…. avast ye swabs — Karl hand me me beer and you ken use the “gel” when we git to Holleywierd so u r sweet smellin’…. jist a’member 2 FUCKING PUT IT BACK…
Feb 4, 2008 at 9:36 am rating: 2
#23
JPav
What they fail to mention is that Tom lives alone.
Feb 4, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: 3
#24
j
what’re you gonna do, smack me with your loofa?
Feb 4, 2008 at 2:42 pm rating: 4
#25
btezra
well, at least the person who posted that noted got right to the fucking point!
Feb 4, 2008 at 4:00 pm rating: 4
#26
A.A guy
No problem with the gay thing……No qualms with mano-a-mano……..queers are okay…….but Tom you are a FAG.
Feb 4, 2008 at 4:57 pm rating: 1
#27
bamBAM!!
Is he sure that they weren’t “using” the beer and drinking the shower gel??
Feb 4, 2008 at 5:05 pm rating: 0
#28
Team Cassandra
Well, I can’t believe it was at #1.
I would have said: That note is fucking delicious. But that’s just me….actually, that note is a lot like me. People online know it but most people IRL have no idea how much I swear. I swear like a truck driver, in fact. And when I get mad, I think things like that in my head. My favourite swear, when I’m real pissed and all alone:
FUCK. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck fuckety fucking fuck. FUCK!
But I wouldn’t have written this note actually. In these kinds of situations, I take it out in trade. Whatever and whenever I feel like it.
I’m fair tho, so this “user” would be smart to keep an eye on his toothpaste, let’s say, and maybe his hotpockets if he’s got’em.
Feb 4, 2008 at 5:10 pm rating: 2
#29
Team Cassandra
Holy FUCK! Was that really Tom? If it is, especially – you kinda funny, guy
If it’s not – you only kinda funny. That’s it.
I don’t know why. It just is.
ANYHOW!
I love how you guys are always all over the decor and the stationary. Do you think Tom (the real deal or otherwise) knew that before he sent it…?
Feb 4, 2008 at 5:19 pm rating: 3
#30
Carlina
Lmfao @ “fucking shower gel”. SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Feb 4, 2008 at 10:48 pm rating: 1
#31
q-tip
This was the best sounding vid I could get, sorry for the content.
Smokey Robinson: I Second That Emotion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_offujhg_tc
Maybe beer tastes to you like kisses sweet,
Guzzling one right down and then repeat
Maybe you’d take mo’ away and not recall
The taste of low alc. is worse than none at all.
Oh rancid cur
In that case you owe me a Bud
I do believe that
That would hardly break the drought
Oh
Well, if you feel like loving me
If you got the notion
Replace my fucking lotion
Say
If you feel like giving me
A lifetime of devotion
Replace my fucking potion.
Maybe you think that wash could buy you renown
Cos’ you ain’t got no grime or funk around
Maybe you think that Rove is really cool
And so you aim, liaise to break the rules.
Oh rancid cur
In that case you owe me a Bud
I do believe that
That would hardly break the drought
Oh,
If you feel like loving me
If you got the notion
Use my fucking lotion
Say,
If you feel like giving me
A lifetime of devotion
Replace my fucking potion.
(and repeat)
Feb 5, 2008 at 7:06 am rating: 2
#32
Team Cassandra
So, it just occurred to me…
D’you think he’s so mad because those are his “fucking” tools? You know, he gets himself extra old spicy and then feeds those beers to some unsuspecting undergrad….and voila! Fucking!
Feb 5, 2008 at 8:02 am rating: 2
#33
Cassie
Why is Tom using a Sharpie ON a dry-erase board?
Feb 29, 2008 at 1:51 pm rating: 0
#34 maybe you should switch to body wash?
[...] at least that would make the roommate situation a little less hairy… [...]
Mar 31, 2008 at 11:23 pm rating: 0
#35 three tactics for dealing with soap thieves
[...] roommate fumes; unilever marketing execs rejoice [...]
Jun 24, 2008 at 10:37 am rating: 0
#36
claire
he wrote that with sharpie–nice touch.
Nov 6, 2008 at 6:43 pm rating: 0
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