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You oughta know

February 4th, 2008 · 56 comments

Writes Jaina in Westport, Conn.: “I dated this asshole last fall, and dumped him because I found out that he was using his Livejournal to try to bang girls on the side. I, of course, still spy on him.” Or at least, she did…until her ip address gave her up.

This journal is all locked up. I'm starting something new soon. If you are so curious about me that you check this every day even though the whole journal is locked up, then maybe you should say something. I do have a site meter up that tells me who comes here and from what city, state, or library.

Adds Jaina: “Please note that the entry was posted at 11:45 p.m. on a Friday. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about the state of his love life.”

Meanwhile, when a passive-aggressive blog posting starts to seem like a relatively direct method of communication, you know things aren’t going to end well.

Dear Jakob, I wish I hadn't found out you left the company you've been with for the last seven years from your blog. Love, Julia

related: Who would’ve thought? It figures

FILED UNDER: blog · Connecticut · ex drama · oh snap

56 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Robin Claire

    that is totally something I would do. :D

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   anglophile bang

    Huh, I would have thought he’d have been flattered to have a stalker.

    Is that creepy? Maybe I shouldn’t say that out loud.

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #3   tragically mep bang

    Jaina doth protest too much. If he’s such an asshole, why bother stalking him?

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    This leaves me pondering the state of Jaina’s love life. If this guy is an asshole and she dumped him, why does she stalk so?
    I hope he has a lock on his hamster’s cage.

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:33 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Team Cassandra bang

      Because she’s a GIRL, silly. :mrgreen:

      Feb 4, 2008 at 9:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, yeah. She has to make sure he’s miserable over losing her.
      How could I still be so dense to the beauty of the feminine mind? :-)

      Feb 4, 2008 at 9:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Team Cassandra bang

      Ok…I’ll tell you what it’s like for me. There are things I still love about my ex. And sometimes I miss him. But I am under strict orders to remember that he is a big asshole and I must not contact him. By stalking him, I can look without touching.

      And – sometimes – I hope I get to see his life fall apart. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true – he did really wreck me, after all…but I always remind myself to cancel that out and wish him well in the end, cuz I’m nice like that. :oops:

      Feb 4, 2008 at 10:04 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Grimfool_Reluctant bang


      Feb 4, 2008 at 10:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Canthz_B bang

      *re-checks locks on doors…*

      To all the girls I’ve loved before…
      Stop peeking in my kitchen door.
      Our connectedness is done.
      You just were not the one.
      Go find someone who’ll love you more.

      Feb 4, 2008 at 10:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   Team Cassandra bang

      I just wanted to say Thank Y’all!…for your support here (by greening me :) ) I was a little nervous to say all that, but it’s true!

      And I know people wonder (and often make assumptions) about the motivations of others, so I just wanted to put it out there :)

      And because it’s fun to watch C_B’s silly ways, too ;P

      Feb 6, 2008 at 8:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #5   Writerrejected bang

    Oooh, Burn! This takes PAN to a whole new level. If he were a total asshole he would have posted her name up on the blog and made a totally public stalker-bust.

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #6   Team Cassandra bang

    Ack! I do that! I wait for this note! Ack!

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   hannah

    anyone know what logging service he might have been using?

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   Yourmother

    How about it NOT being hosted on Flickr where they will make you Yahoo! signup to view anything? :D

    Feb 4, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #9   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    I love the fact that she’s letting us draw our own conclusions about the state of his love life . . . when really she’s telling us everything about hers!

    Or should I say, !!!!!!!!!

    Feb 4, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   Chris

    Typical Fairfield County… It’s almost a surprise that we don’t get more PAN here – but it seems that for most residents it’s hard to write when you’re stabbing someone in the back.

    Feb 4, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #11   morpho aurora bang

    maybe she’s checking to see if the sonofabitch has died yet
    or at least suffers from an incurable disease or disfigurement – an extremely painful one
    i don’t check up on my ex ever, but i do include him in my prayers every night (i didn’t say they were nice prayers, now did i?)

    Feb 4, 2008 at 10:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #12   Freddie

    But seriously, why IS she checking his LJ everyday if it’s locked up? It seems there is more than one pathetic person with no love life involved here…

    Feb 4, 2008 at 10:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   aaa

      I think he locked it up after he figured out she was checking it religiously and whatnot. I think.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 9:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #13   Freddie

    Also, seconding the Flickr hate.

    Feb 4, 2008 at 11:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   starburst2185

    I can honestly say that I’ve never stalked an ex. Now when it comes to stalking prospective dates, that’s a whole other story!
    Seriously though, if chick’s gonna keep tabs on her ex, she needs to learn from the obvious mistake she has made…next time make a fake login and change your location!!!! LOL

    Team Savvy-Stalkers, you’re up!

    Feb 4, 2008 at 11:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   aaa

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. If you’re gonna do something, do it right and use a computer at a library or at somebody else’s house or something. :/

      Feb 5, 2008 at 9:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   starburst2185

      Exactly! Anyone with a hand-full of common sense would know these kinds of things.

      They just aren’t teaching the fundamentals in computer class anymore…or maybe I just had a psycho teach. Either way, I guess. LOL

      Feb 6, 2008 at 12:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   Katy

    See, I’m the opposite. I steer far clear of any ex’s journal or site because I don’t want them to know that I ever think about them. However, I love to ask mutual friends (that I know are on “my side”) to tell me how much their life is fucked up now.

    “He got kicked out of his apartment? Lost his job? Got syphillis? AND his mangy dog died? EXCELLENT.”

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:40 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   lef

      I had friends who did this for me as well, aren’t they great? Actually, now it’s made my ex paranoid enough about who he talks to that he’s cut himself off from anyone who might have said Hi to me in the last 5 years. I never even brought up the things I knew in my own blog, so I don’t know where he’s getting it from.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 8:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   katiekawaii


      Feb 7, 2008 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   Ricehead

    Ex’s really are not delicious, but their misfortune surely is.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 1:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #17   unholyghost2003 bang

    I have turned ex-boyfriends onto THIS site … so I will decline to comment …

    Feb 5, 2008 at 7:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #18   Jaina

    I just thought this was funny because we both totally still cyberstalk each other. My new boyfriend weighs 200 lbs less than him and is twice as educated. I’m really not concerned.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 10:02 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Markly


      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Suckers!

      EWWWWWW, your new boyfriend is either disgustingly skinny or your ex was incredibly fat. Either way “cyberstalking” is just plain pathetic.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #19   Googs

    Is it just me or is the date on his post Jan 10th. That would make it a Thursday not a Friday like she said.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   anglophile bang

      Good catch! I bet he’s seeing plenty of action! :P

      Feb 5, 2008 at 12:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   Em

    This is why I hug my Firefox extensions that allow me to block LJToys, etc.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   I stalk myself at night

    I have come to a realization some time ago: my ex’s life has absolutely no impact on mine, whether he is happy, sad, miserable, his dick is rotting off after all the married women, or whatnot none of it will make MY life better…so who cares? Therefore, I just focus on my life.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 2:32 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   GroundControlOne

      Smartest comment in this whole thread. Thank you for proving that women aren’t all weak, snide, vengeful beasts.

      Feb 6, 2008 at 2:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   Team Cassandra bang

      Now if we could only get one proving the same about men.

      Feb 6, 2008 at 4:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   Lisa

      Amen! Although now it looks like we need it to also prove that not all men are misogynistic….

      Apr 22, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.4   The truth

      Or that all women are not full of Misandry

      Oct 23, 2008 at 3:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   Masha G

    Justice for people who stay home on Friday nights!

    Or Thursday nights! That too!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 3:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #23   bamBAM!! bang

    I can hear Alanis Morissette screaming in the background

    Feb 5, 2008 at 4:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Team Cassandra bang

      Well, I’m here…
      To remind you…
      That your livejournal’s on public display!
      It’s not fair…
      But I’m spying…
      And the cross I bear’s on my myspace page!
      You, you, you
      Oughta KNOW!

      PS. ok you tell me, which one is it: bear or bare?

      Feb 5, 2008 at 5:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   Grimfool_Reluctant bang



      one of my favorite religious figures from my wasted Sunday School youth: Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear

      Feb 5, 2008 at 7:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #24   chris

    Lol. My ex-boyfriend visits my blog everyday. He thinks I don’t know, but like her asshole ex-boyfriend, my blog has a sitemeter too. But I never bothered saying anything to him. It just amuses me that although he’s curious about how I’m doing, he never bothers to say anything to me. Strange.

    Feb 6, 2008 at 12:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #25   ian in hamburg

    I think people read a lot more into this than is really there.. So what if an ex reads your blog, looks you up on facebook or wherever. Anybody can do that. What makes the fact that your ex is looking at your online presence such a big deal? Are you also not over it?

    Feb 6, 2008 at 2:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Amanda


      Feb 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #26   Sf

    Actually, with Internet savvy parents/relatives out there now days – the person you’ve got to worry about checking your facebook/xanga/LJ/myspace and religiously recording any tidbit of mildly denigrating pictures/entries may not be your ex – but the PARENTS. Angry, angry parents with a personal vendetta just waiting to send your workplace/significant other photos/entries of your last weekend’s escapades….

    True story :)

    Feb 6, 2008 at 8:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #27   jill

    “please note that the entry was posted at 11:45 p.m. on a friday. i’ll let you draw your own conclusions about the state of his love life.”

    Perhaps he thinks outside the box and arranges dates for times other than 11:45 PM on a Friday? Your argument is weak, like your capitalization.

    Judging from the post and your comment, it sounds like your ex got the better end of the deal, what with getting shot of a girl who apparently has a tendency toward unhealthy fixation.

    If you have a new boyfriend, go spend time with him, take the time and energy you spend obsessing about your ex and put it into a relationship you WANT to have.

    Feb 6, 2008 at 8:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #28   The Guy Who This is About

    Wow. I’m glad she posted this and showed what kind of psycho she really is. Thanks to all the PANers who posted comments letting her know how bad she looks in this situation.

    Remember kids, cyberstalking is the ultimate in electronic passive aggression… just say no.

    Feb 6, 2008 at 9:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Amanda

      Whoa there buddy. You may have a stalker ex on your hands, but using a public LJ to scam on chicks was probably a boneheaded maneuver to begin with. Don’t think your nose is clean.

      Feb 11, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #29   RP

    Why didn’t he lock it BEFORE she found out he was cheating? Not that I don’t think it’s good she found out but from the perspective of the Ex it makes no sense.

    He didn’t even lock it after she found out he was trying to cheat on her. Why did it take so long for him to figure out he needs to lock it?

    Feb 7, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   SD

    I’m curious as to what sitemeter he uses that lets him track all that. I sure could use one on my blog.

    Feb 9, 2008 at 1:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #31   I am with Jaina.

    Jaina rocks! I dated this guy, too. He is an amazingly cocky idiot and it’s amusing to read about his pathetic adventures. I love that she still checks in and that he keeps checking sitemeter. People don’t write public journals because they don’t want anyone to read them…

    Go Jaina! You can do so much better.

    Jul 11, 2008 at 12:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Adhara

    OMG…her name is *Jaina*?

    Is this asshole Arthas, by any chance? xD

    Jul 13, 2008 at 3:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #33   Tabitha

    BEHOLD!! correction: if you care that your ex care….why don’t both of you quit playing the silent game. F**k and be happy again. ;-)

    Sep 16, 2008 at 12:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #34   Duadatstamtot

    Sry for commenting Off-Topic but what WordPress template are you using? Looks great!!

    Dec 12, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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