Hostile takeover

February 5th, 2008 · 75 comments

A possibly prescient note from the offices of Yahoo! U.K….

hostile takeover

related: just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · London · milk · office fridge · stealing · U.K. · Yahoo


75 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Crash bang

    Ya…wait till I’m outt’a the bathroom though…might have a little urine in it too.

    What is that name ???

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   RALPHY

    I’m not real sure what “unopened, organic MDS milk”is, but anyone who ends a question with a ! deserves to lose it all. Besides-It was fucking delicious! There you have it.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   GhostWriter bang

      Here it is, Super Tuesday, and we are still bogged down in the War Against Fuckin’ Delicious.

      Remember the grand predictions? “…we’re talking days or weeks, certainly not months or years” Yet here we remain, mired in battle- not with a country or army, but rather, a modifying term.

      All we offer is the same old solution, and hope to our God it makes a difference this time:

      RALPHY, put on that damn Unitard!

      Feb 5, 2008 at 9:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   anglophile bang

      Oh, GW. I thought we pledged to destroy all Unitards. Now we find out you’ve been running some sort of secret Unitard Program? What if the other side acquires Unitard Technology? That would lead to a Unitard Race, and the only one who will win there is the Unitard Dealers. What will happen to us all? Doesn’t anyone think of the childern?

      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Canthz_B bang

      Holy Unitard Proliferation!

      Duck and cover everyone!

      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   GhostWriter bang

      You know what Henry Kissinger always said…
      “When one has a secret unitard program, one tends to define diplomacy as a unitard race.”

      Anyways, what makes “Fuckin’ Delicious” so much more repeatable than unitard technology? I’m not really compaining here- I’m asking a legitimate question. Obviously, dropping the FD-bomb brings a more desirable reaction in readership than does unitard utterances.

      Why is that?

      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   anglophile bang

      I think it’s a matter of brute force over finesse, GW. :P

      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Writerrejected bang

      Because we are sheep, and “fucking delicious” is simply more poetic to our ears.

      Also “unitard” is an ugly word and not much fun to say or wear, which I know is the point, but “fucking delicious” doesn’t hurt anyone, and we are peace-loving sheep.

      Sorry to disappoint.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   GhostWriter bang

      WriterReject- that was funny, especially since I am imagining the inflection of Marvin the Robot.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 11:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Team Cassandra bang

      I think the main problem isn’t with the Unitard, itself, but in it’s design and marketing. What we need is a good image and a good song to go with the Unitard…

      like this:
      http://www.5years.com/Gall54.htm
      or this:
      http://www.5years.com/Gall161.htm

      and this:

      Hey man, he drank all my beer, you know
      Hey man, the stuff I saved all damn year, I gotta
      Hey man, I gotta straighten my face
      This fucking guy
      Just put my spine out of place

      Hey man, she ate my last pizza slice
      Hey man, the one that really was nice
      Hey man, well she’s a total blam-blam
      She said she had to squeeze it but she… then she…

      [CHORUS]
      Oh don’t lean on me man
      Cause you can’t afford the ticket
      That bread was fucking delicious!
      Oh don’t lean on me man
      Cause you ain’t got time to check it
      That bread was fucking delicious!
      Its outta sight…it’s all right

      Hey man, you play your music too loud, go away
      Hey man, this place ain’t built for a crowd, no way
      Hey man, droogie don’t crash here
      There’s only room for one and here she comes
      Here she comes

      [CHORUS]
      Oh don’t lean on me man
      Cause you can’t afford the ticket
      That bread was fucking delicious!
      Oh don’t lean on me man
      Cause you ain’t got time to check it
      That bread was fucking delicious!
      Its outta sight…it’s all right

      So fucking delicious, so fucking delicious
      That bread was fucking delicious!
      That bread was fucking delicious!
      Fucking Delicious!

      Ohhh, Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltx97TNWKUI&feature=related

      or hear to see the Unitard in action:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soJO4LK6iWo&feature=related

      and you GOTTA see Frettin Freddy! :shock: :D
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxBOJPCvqMk&feature=related

      I have faith in the Unitard Race, and so should you.

      That is all.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 12:47 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   park rose bang

      Thereby taking the unitard to new heights of fashion-fucking-deliciousness :mrgreen: .

      Feb 6, 2008 at 5:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Crash bang

    “Can” implies a question if the person is able to do so…I’m sure the person who stole it is…but will (s)he ?
    That is a new issue though.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   amy d bang

    If it has been stolen, how can it be replaced with same ? It can only be replaced with a different, yet equivalent facsimile of what was taken. He asks too much!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:42 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   RALPHY

      Well, I suppose if the original hasn’t been consumed and is still available, then—-oh the hell with it-nevermind!

      Feb 5, 2008 at 12:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   fantasy bang

    WHAT????? Organic Milk from a M_S Cow? I wonder if they really drank it? eeww

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Crash bang

    Maybe it isn’t stolen. It could just be misplaced…they didn’t witness the theft did they ?
    Maybe it grew legs and walked away…like the microwave a few post’s back. Obviously it was being neglected if it wasn’t opened yet.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   fantasy bang

    If she found her milk she would have realized that the “Dish ran away with the spoon”…….No cereal either! :(

    Feb 5, 2008 at 1:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   fantasy bang

    Is it just me or is something funny? The last milk was past its sell by date and had curdled….now this. First someone can’t get rid of the milk, then here they can’t find it> :|

    Feb 5, 2008 at 1:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   RALPHY

    Just to clear the record-Is Donika a male or female name???

    Feb 5, 2008 at 1:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   durian

      female.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 1:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   zenvelo

    M&S is Marks and Spencer, quite the tony milk.

    Unless it’s “MA’S milk”, ‘cuz she stored some freshly expressed breast milk in the office fridge…but I doubt she’s truly an organic mother.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 1:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Lorelie

      Tony milk?

      It’s not enough that I don’t have an expensive car or designer clothes, now I must worry about how my milk stacks up?

      Feb 5, 2008 at 10:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   GVI bang

      Tony better be a girl.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 7:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   secondsout bang

    This note seems to imply that if the milk had been opened, it could be stolen. But because it was unopened, heads must roll, dammit!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 2:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Tyler bang

    Maybe its a little bit of Greek lettering (??S)? “Mu Delta S” Milk?

    Feb 5, 2008 at 2:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Detective Julie

    Gross, it definitely wasn’t me that stole it. Milk is yucky.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 2:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Detective Spong-Bob

      Now Julie, you know that milk isn’t the worse thing you’ve ever had in your mouth!

      Feb 5, 2008 at 6:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Izzy

    I love that there’s loads of debate over the name, even though most British will tell you it stands for Marks and Spencer (M&S) milk.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 4:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   unholyghost2003 bang

    So what I have learned so far
    Trader Joe’s Sushi and M&S milk are STRICTLY off limits.

    Here is the thing, the only “Organic M&S” milk worth stealing IS unopened. Once opened your chemical free, unpasteurized milk will turn quickly to sludge and then YOU (much like Ashley in Chicago) will be getting the PA notes.

    Also are WE sure that Donika is a name? Perhaps it is a tragically misspelled attempt at being cosmopolitan with the traditional PA closing of “Thanks.” Could it not have been intended to be “Danka?”

    Feb 5, 2008 at 7:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   un-earthed lurker

    This isn’t JUST stolen milk…

    Feb 5, 2008 at 7:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Melanie

    Shouldn’t it be “whomever”?

    Feb 5, 2008 at 8:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   anglophile bang

      No. :)

      Feb 5, 2008 at 8:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Suhayla

      We’ll never know, because the sentence is ungrammatical… :(

      Feb 5, 2008 at 9:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   six58

    i found your guilty party.

    http://www.ruby-sapphire.com/images/tajikistan_ruby_and_spinel/got_milk.jpg

    Feb 5, 2008 at 9:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   GhostWriter bang

    Marks and Spencer?? Dammit- the whole time I was hoping it was an abbreviation for Muscle Milk.

    Donika is the perfect androgynous gym rat name.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 9:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Lurker

    My Donnie lies over the ocean.
    (Is Donnie a he or a she?)
    My Donnie cries, over the ocean,
    “Oh bring back my milky to me!
    Bring back, bring back,
    Oh bring back my milky to me, to me!
    Bring back, bring back,
    My Marks and Sparks milky to me!”

    Feb 5, 2008 at 10:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Greg

    Excuse me for not getting the significance of these highly dangerous milk stealing bandits. Maybe it was an emergency and they needed some for their cereal? Maybe they didn’t think it was such a big deal to drink your milk because milk (normal milk anyway) costs, what, 2 bucks? And maybe you’ve eaten some of their stuff in the past, so they think you’re about even steven in the food pilfering department?

    I dunno. Never really had roommates so I don’t identify so much with all these pennypinching psychotic episodes surrounding people consuming other people’s food/beverages.

    I’d be more of the mindset of, “let the guy drink the milk, he was hungry.” instead of going all “Revenge is mine!” on his ass.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 11:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   anglophile bang

      Wow, Greg. Can I move in with you? Sounds like I could save myself a lot in grocery bills, since you won’t mind me eating all your food.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 11:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Canthz_B bang

      Don’t take my shit.
      Buy your own shit.
      If you take my shit,
      Promptly replace my shit.
      There’s plenty of room for your shit,
      So don’t put your shit with my shit.
      I don’t want juice from your shit on my shit.
      Stop acting like a little shit!
      How many times do I have to tell you this shit?!

      Feb 5, 2008 at 3:23 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   GhostWriter bang

    Donika’s “D” looks like Disney’s.

    just thought I’d mention it…

    Feb 5, 2008 at 11:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Emily

    Ok, seriously i see nothing wrong w/wanting people to replace shit that they stole. Clearly this person doesn’t have a lot of money, she has roommates, therefore when she buys something she probably wants to be the one to use/enjoy it. I think everyone feels this way. If not, i’m coming over and taking everything. Thanks!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 11:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Suhayla

      MAYBE if it were some sort of specialty milk, like Lactose-Free, which can cost twice the price of normal milk… but there’s no way a person on a budget is buying “tony” milk like that, cause if she’s buying the special organic milk, she’s probably paying premium for all her other stuff.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   GhostWriter bang

    What if the milk-stealer replaces it with Gustafson’s Milk?

    I’ll bet Gustafson’s beats M & S hands down.

    (just like the NBC Office beats the BBC Office)

    Feb 5, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   MJaz

    Could this be the missing milk?
    http://www.marksandspencer.com/gp/product/B000Y5DX00/sr=1-2/qid=1202229677/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&node=42966030&m=A2BO0OYVBKIQJM&keywords=milk&mnSBrand=core&size=9&rh=&page=

    If so, I TOTALLY understand Donika’s fury. Not only is it chocolate, it’s in a loverly keepsake shoe, and it’s got booze! And, at £9.50 it is definitely worth whining about.

    Hmmmm.. it’s not organic, though.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 11:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      that milk is excessive. EXCESSIVE MILK

      Feb 5, 2008 at 12:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   bellabeastie

    It seems to me this “milk-thing” is going global, and I, for one, and very worried…. From Ashley in Chicago to …. ? Danny Kaye? across the Pond, I think we have something to fear.

    Just went to check my Organic Soy Lowfat Opened Container (which must be consumed within 7 days or it, too, will turn to sludge) only to find it present and accounted for.

    Whooo. Crisis Averted.

    Team Destroy Milk Thievery Before It Gets Us!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Lurker

    Got Milk?

    Well, give it back!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Greg

    Sure, c’mon over to my swingin’ bachelor pad and enjoy some free milk on me!

    Or rather, not ON me, um, ’cause I’m not into that kind of thing, really. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you are.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   anglophile bang

      Hmm, I’ll consider your offer carefully. How would you feel if I drank your fucking beer and used your fucking shower gel?

      Feb 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Numinous bang

      That might be ok as long as you replaced the fucking beer and fucking shower gel with some other fucking thing(s).

      Feb 5, 2008 at 3:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Canthz_B bang

      I hope you guys are using protection :!: :lol:

      Feb 5, 2008 at 3:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Writerrejected bang

    It freaks me out about milk lately: All the crap they put in those cows including anitbiotics and growth hormones and chemicals plus all sorts of possible hoof & mouth diseases to boot.

    I think she should be grateful someone stole her milk, even organic milk….who can trust it? Drink soy milk or rice milk instead…..and chain it to the fridge.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 2:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Bella bang

    This isn’t just any organic milk… it’s Marks & Spencer organic milk. ;)

    https://www.globalpackagegallery.com/main.php/key/sustainble+packaging?g2_itemId=46632

    Feb 5, 2008 at 3:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      I see that and all I can think is “I want to spit in that milk.”

      Feb 5, 2008 at 3:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Bella bang

      That would still be organic.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      hmmm I don’t know … I have a lot of chemicals in my system ;)

      Feb 5, 2008 at 4:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   bamBAM!! bang

      Yeah, I swallow nail polish daily just to rebel.

      Feb 5, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   bamBAM!! bang

    How can milk be unorganic?

    Oh, god! This milk was taken from an artificial cow!!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 4:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   bamBAM!! bang

    Do you need any homegrown pudding?

    Feb 5, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   mamason bang

    She said please! :roll:

    Feb 5, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   mamason bang

    She may have to wait until the cows come home.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   mamason bang

    Stealing someones milk is udderly ridiculous.

    Feb 5, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   bamBAM!! bang

      I believe you mean utterly ridiculous.

      Feb 6, 2008 at 4:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   WanderingPenguin bang

      I believe you have absolutely no sense of humour. Go back and read the note and then the comment again. Maybe…just maybe… something will “click” for you. :)

      Feb 6, 2008 at 4:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   raiseyourglass

    don’t get mad get even….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbzWO2_mxqA&feature=related

    Feb 5, 2008 at 6:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   bamBAM!! bang

      I love youtube links, you can assume that the comment is as funny as you want it to be!

      Feb 5, 2008 at 8:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Anon

      that cake looks f……, tasty!

      Nov 10, 2008 at 12:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Sundaeg1rl

    Buying organic milk from Marks & Spencer is one thing – bragging about it is quite another. Snooty bitch!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 7:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   bamBAM!! bang

    Maybe the growth hormones from the “inorganic” cows will make her taller and increase her bra size!!

    Feb 5, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   bcteagirl

    @23.1: So…. it is ok to steal from others… so long as it is something expensive or they have money to spend on something nice in one area of their life? :P Can I come to your house? I promise only to take the ‘premium’ products :P

    Feb 6, 2008 at 12:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Suhayla

      Yeaahh, cause that’s what I said… Feel free to come over, but as a person on a budget, I warn you you will find no organic, free-range, omega-3 anything in my fridge or cupboards. If I was going to pay an extra 2 or 3 dollars for something it would likely be something good and not organic milk — I mean, what’s the point of buying organic milk if everything else you eat is chemically and hormonally treated??

      Feb 6, 2008 at 7:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   lola bang

    The name Donika leads me to one conclusion:

    these are the painkiller rantings of a post-op tranny, previously known as Don.

    Feb 6, 2008 at 12:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Canthz_B bang

    HEY!, STOP THAT GUY WITH THE M&S MUSTACHE!!

    Feb 6, 2008 at 8:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   is yahoo! in the toilet? read the writing on the wall.

    [...] servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day; hostile takeover [...]

    Apr 27, 2008 at 2:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   i, who should seriously lay off the caffeine

    [...] related: hostile takeover [...]

    Jun 30, 2009 at 10:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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