tina is los angeles didn’t have any problem with her roommate’s friend couchsurfing at their apartment for a month, but both she and her roomie started to get irked when the friend started inviting other friends to stay over — and then kept doing it, even after the roomie expressly asked her not to. “the first friend we encountered killed one of my fish and put gum in my aquarium,” tina says, and when another friend-of-a-friend started “subtly and sarcastically deriding” their taste in fashion/entertainment/blah blah blah…well, the roommates decided enough was enough.
related: some suggestions for the comfort of your guest
83 responses so far ↓
#1
LK
Team 305 all the way!
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:17 am rating: +4
#2
Black Bellamy
By the way, Ashley is also authorized to post for me.
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:24 am rating: +4
#3
dan
we had some gutter punks in their early 20’s who came along for a visit as a friend of a friend once. the first thing they did after walking in our apartment door (the hell with introductions, apparently) was to head to our fridge and start opening things up and scarfing them down with their filthy hands. forget the utensils! to make matters worse, both had dirt tans and smelled horribly. having not even gotten their names, i made the executive decision to haul their asses out and tell them to hit the rocky road. fucken “guests of guests!”
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:25 am rating: +6
#4
unholyghost2003
WOW. ummm I bet the freeloader isn’t friends with ANYONE in 305 anymore.
When couch surfing for an extended amount of time inviting a guest over for the AFTERNOON should be O.K. … but overnights? Brass balls my friend!
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:33 am rating: +2
#5
Cubicle Mom
Love the ‘Best Wishes’
That’s not PA at all! :O)
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:34 am rating: +2
#6
ms. m. m.
I hope they post the inevitable follow-up PA note from *Lana*!
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: +1
#7
park rose
Well, if Ashely is violated, it is only right to call in law enforcement.
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:43 am rating: +16
#8
Grimfool_Reluctant
Sorry, couldn’t find a youtube link, but the Beach Boys said it best . . .
Lana Lana oh Lana dear
Please go away from me
Just go (Lana dear) just go (Lana dear)
So far away (Lana dear) (Lana dear)
So happy (Lana dear) we will be (Lana dear)
I’ll show (go away) I’ll show (go away)
You another couch (go away) (go away)
Alone (go away) with dead fish (go away)
and gum (Lana dear)
(Gooooooooooo)
(Gooooooooooo-ooooo)
Don’t dear (Lana dear) please don’t (Lana dear)
Don’t come back (Lana dear) (Lana dear)
To 305 (Lana dear) we’ve called
cops (Lana dear) (Lana dear)
Lana (go away) Lana (go away)
Oh Lana dear (go away)
Please (go away) get your shit (go away)
from Ashley (Lana dear)
Lana (Lana dear) Lana (Lana dear)
oh Lana dear (Lana dear) (Lana dear)
Please (Lana dear) go away (Lana
dear) from here (Lana dear)
Feb 7, 2008 at 10:50 am rating: +2
#9
minkynopants
In my home state they might have had to start court proceedings to get her out of there. Something about if you hang around somewhere long enough then you live there.
Feb 7, 2008 at 11:06 am rating: +2
#10
DrAstroZoom
Preparation PAN: for the discomfort associated with the condition known as “Lana.”
Seriously, though, this may be the first time in history a restraining order has been filed on behalf of an apartment.
Feb 7, 2008 at 11:20 am rating: +4
#11
RP
The room mate’s friend should get kicked out along with the friend of the friend. Look, you know your friends. You know which ones know how to behave and have manners and which ones don’t. So the friend knew the people she was inviting over were going to cause trouble. At the very least she should have figured it out when the first one killed their pet.
Put them both out on the street. Change the locks. Call the police if they get back in. Team 305!
Feb 7, 2008 at 11:42 am rating: +1
#12
secondsout
So could the poster please elaborate on the dead fish? Did this person over or under-feed the fish, knock him onto the floor, cook him when s/he was hungry?
Feb 7, 2008 at 12:10 pm rating: +1
#13
S.S.
This isn’t occurring on the set of “Smallville”, is it?
I always thought that Lana was a bit annoying.
Feb 7, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: +1
#14
seeyounexttuesday
Lana is a cunt.
Feb 7, 2008 at 12:25 pm rating: +1
#15
Canthz_B
“Best Wishes” = “Go To Hell, Lana!”
Feb 7, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: +2
#16
Lorelie
I personally love how the note isn’t addressed to Lana. Do the friends of Lana come around more than Lana herself?
Feb 7, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: +2
#17
tanyetta
ditto what canthz b said!!!!
Feb 7, 2008 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
#18
Naomi
I find it funny that they just kicked someone out on the curb and leave the note with a hearty “beat wishes”.
Feb 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm rating: +1
#19
GhostWriter
Billy Joel used to write about a girl like that…
She shouldn’t come back
Wait in the hall !
Leading us to replace the lock
Quit answering
rings on our line
We gave her a night
That’s all it was
What will it take until she stops
Bringing her pals
Tasting our wine?
There’s nothing else we can do
Posting notes in the hall for Lana
We don’t want anyone new
just removal of all of Lana
There’s nothing in it for you
Cops are getting a call for Lana
We later would preach
watching her whine
She couldn’t tell us where she stuck,
all of her pay
Rent due the fourth.
While up on the stand
Fishy alive
Kill it! the undertaker spat
adding some gum into the bowl
There’s nothing else we can do
Posting notes in the hall for Lana
We don’t want anyone new
just removal of all of Lana
There’s nothing in it for you
Cops are getting a call for Lana
She laid here since June
Losing her rent
Giving her family constant strife
I don’t want her suite
I don’t mind Ashley
I only want Lana out my life
Now I’m in my room
Reading PAN notes
Telling myself she still may drop
Over to say
She’s needs a dime
So, I wait in the dark
Listening for her
While steadily aiming silenced Glock
Killing her swift
Wasting her life
There’s nothing else we can do
Posting notes in the hall for Lana
We don’t want anyone new
just a removal of all of Lana
There’s nothing in it for you
Cops are getting a call for Lana
Feb 7, 2008 at 1:52 pm rating: +5
#20
tragically mep
I love the box around non-negotiable. You don’t see that very often. When underlining isn’t enough, it’s like a poor man’s highlighter.
Feb 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm rating: +13
#21
Heather
Here’s hoping that “mediate” is code for something else entirely.
Best wishes!
Feb 7, 2008 at 2:27 pm rating: +1
#22
Lurker
This comment is Ashley-Approved™.
Feb 7, 2008 at 3:10 pm rating: +1
#23
Ashley
Fuck that! I ain’t touchin’ Lana’s shit! That girl is NASTY, yo!
Feb 7, 2008 at 3:28 pm rating: 0
#24
WanderingPenguin
Personally, I love how the gals can spell “aforementioned” and “non-negotiable” (complete with hyphen)… but not “retrieved”. That’s a work of art.
Feb 7, 2008 at 3:30 pm rating: +6
#25
GhostWriter
I would love to see a set of wedding reception seating tags labeled,
“Lana” and “the discomfort associated with Lana“
Feb 7, 2008 at 3:49 pm rating: +4
#26
cookiemunstahh
(I’m Tina btw) The fish was killed because the drunk guy put the fish in his pocket and when Ashley was giving him a ride home he put the fish in the side pocket of the car door. We had been wondering what happened to the fish until we found the fish carcass in the car door a few days later.
Also, loler when Ashley came in to get Lana’s stuff, we overheard some guys next door who were bonding/crying and they thought Ashley was Lana: “Man I just saw her pick up her bags and leave. Sad, she doesn’t have any friends.”
Feb 7, 2008 at 3:53 pm rating: 0
#27
Oveta
First rule of drunken hook-ups is never let them know where you live.
Feb 7, 2008 at 4:41 pm rating: 0
#28
Kelly
Wait…so how many people live in the apartment? Because that is weird if it is just Lana’s friend and Lisa addressing the note….to themselves?
Feb 7, 2008 at 4:52 pm rating: 0
#29
Canthz_B
I thought Lana was the friend of a roommate of tina’s and Lana invited friends over
Link this to #28, BTW.
Feb 7, 2008 at 5:38 pm rating: 0
#30
machead
That notes just screams “I’m taking pre-law!” Just sayin.
Feb 7, 2008 at 5:44 pm rating: +1
#31
Dj Tenn.
Bitches would find my# 10 foot dead square in the crack of their slagged out useless arse.
Go flop with momma and daddy , fuck dat. \
gas, grass or ass bitches , no free rides.
Again, Im reminded that nothing is wrong anymore, anything goes.
A nations leaders being its moral and social compass.
Feb 7, 2008 at 6:00 pm rating: 0
#32
Katy
I had a roommate so bad that I had to sneak-move out of the house one day while she was at work. This girl was a pathological liar, a closeted lesbian (trying to get my other roommate, a very much heterosexual girl, to replace her ex-roommate/ex-bisexual panderer), and also a thief. Can anyone say “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”? We were so hateful of her that for a year, we couldn’t say her name and only referred to her as TAC, short for The Anti-Christ.
Go Team Tina and Carrie!
Feb 7, 2008 at 9:48 pm rating: +1
#33
bamboo blitz
This is bloody hilarious! I wonder if they got to see the look on Lana’s face after seeing this note for the first time–priceless, I’m sure!
Feb 8, 2008 at 10:59 pm rating: 0
#34
Olivia
I love the notes where they say their names; it makes it more personal.
Also, am I the only one who thinks that the entire note sums up to “Stay Out, Scuzzball”?
Mar 28, 2008 at 6:52 am rating: 0
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