So obsessed that I’m becoming a bore

February 12th, 2008 · 75 comments

Writes Simon in Richmond, Virginia: “I was combing through my Facebook newsfeed and came across this note posted by someone on my friend list. I have no idea who the note is referring to, but I think it’s kind of interesting that he’s putting out his dirty laundry for all to see.”

i'm sorry for your loss

related: Meet my new therapist: the cable guy

FILED UNDER: Facebook · i before e · Richmond · TL;DR


75 responses so far ↓

  • #1   anglophile bang

    I’m so puzzled. How could anyone so ambitious, so educated, so obviously destined for success have so much trouble with inconvenient situations and failed friendships? It couldn’t have anything to do with an uncontrollable urge to air his dirty laundry in public and a raging paranoia, could it?

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:19 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Isuck

      I think this note is actually addressed to all the stuck up jerk off P/A note regulars. Although it’s missing the “get a life” signature.

      Apr 2, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mishee™ bang

      Wow.

      Someone got up on the wrong side of the race car bed this morning.

      Apr 2, 2009 at 10:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   hoopla

    bum-like attitudes? :D

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   secondsout bang

    All talk and no walk… Has anyone ever been about 25% walk? Semi-partial walk?

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:28 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      I skip . . . does that count?

      Feb 12, 2008 at 9:35 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      Of course, I skip in a grim and solemn fashion.

      Feb 12, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      I don’t think it was very nice of James to make fun of the career options of the physically challenged.

      Feb 12, 2008 at 9:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   mamason bang

      Reluctantly.

      Feb 12, 2008 at 9:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Suhayla

      When I’m on crutches I would call that a 25-50% walk… I generally swagger though (to hide the limp that my broken ankle has caused!!)

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   starburst2185

      I don’t know, my husband says I weave when I walk, kind of like being drunk, but without the liquor or the unavoidable regret the next day when I have the conga drums going on in my head.

      Needless to say, I’ve failed a few sobriety tests while sober, which is fun to use as an excuse for why you’re past curfew. :)

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   secondsout bang

    I’m just wondering if James would like some cheese with his whine.

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   mamason bang

      Cheese is gouda!

      Feb 12, 2008 at 9:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Timmsterr

    I’d like to see the Notes About James. What is it that he’s so not worried about that caused him to post this note for all to read? Interesting. I hope he has good benefits at his future career for the counseling thats sure to be needed.

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   mamason bang

    As God is my witness, as God is my witness they’re not going to lick me! I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be hungry again! No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill! As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      Frankly, James my dear, we don’t give a damn!

      Feb 12, 2008 at 9:42 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Shanoney

      You two crack me up!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 6:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Sue Do Nim bang

    James, dude, what’s with all the random commas? Perhaps as you pursue an education, you can learn a few comma usage rules.

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   WanderingPenguin bang

      And how to spell “reprieve”. :)

      Feb 13, 2008 at 12:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   amazon bang

      As long as he used “your” and “you’re” correctly (which I think he did), he’s OK in my book!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 2:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   park rose bang

      I’m with you amazon. I think the commas are okay. But I don’t know about reprieving oneself from inconvenient situations. Seems like a temporary kind of solution to me.

      Feb 13, 2008 at 3:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   WanderingPenguin bang

      So…spelling mistakes are ok as long as the grammar is good? Hmm… can’t go along with that one, sorry. ;)

      Feb 13, 2008 at 4:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   park rose bang

      Hey WP, I’m only referring to the commas – reprieve is obviously spelled wrongly. It is a small mistake, though. I can take it or leave it. I am more concerned though, as to whether it is being used correctly.

      Feb 13, 2008 at 6:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   amy d bang

      WP, do you check your bloglog? Please come play in the yard with the loveable misfits. :)

      Feb 13, 2008 at 7:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Skeltz

      park rose, your command of our language is abysmal, but I think what you were trying to say is that he did not correctly use reprieve. He was borderline correct if he got only temporary relief from his “inconvenient situations,” but even in that case, it’s a bigtime stretch. For me, the most abrasive error is the incomplete first sentence; it drives me insane when people begin letters, memos, etc with “To everyone who [blah blah blah] .” Use a colon you asshole. Even a comma would do. Especially if you are going to brag about actually going to school (I’ll notify the Nobel Foundation), and especially if you write like a 7-year-old, read your shit before you post.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   park rose bang

      Why thank you, Skeltz.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 1:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   Troy McClure bang

      Skeltz, your command of the word ‘abysmal’ is decroded.

      Apr 3, 2008 at 4:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    first draft

    “I’m not saying that I’m better than you will ever be…but I am better than you will ever be!”

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   pry

    dye his eyes and call him pretty.

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   SHARKFAN bang

    I bet James would just cringe if he knew we’re all talking shit about him here on PAN.

    Feb 12, 2008 at 9:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   starburst2185

      No, he’d just write us a note about how sorry he was.

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      He’d be happy in the knowledge that our worlds revolved around him…damn, I don’t think I can live without James’ friendship. I’m thinking of just ending it all…

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   starburst2185

      Well, he’s written the note saying he’s sorry, now he just needs to apologize.

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah…hold your breath with me! :-)

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Tyler bang

      Or he’d let us know how worthless we are, and that we don’t have careers. Just jobs.

      Feb 13, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Juliet bang

      And when we are 50, and working at a cash register, this will all have been worth it for him. It may take more than 30 years, but by God, he will have the last laugh!

      Feb 14, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Some sorry day James will find that his “career” is just another name for a “job” and miss his friends. The ones that probably told him to stop acting so damned superior in the first place.
    The little snot-nose!

    Feb 12, 2008 at 10:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Suhayla

      This is the problem with education being sold as “applied”… damn fools think that they will get job satisfaction automatically by getting through a course of study.

      Feb 12, 2008 at 10:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Suhayla

    James… Get out of the Ivory Tower before it plagues you with delusions of grandeur!

    Feb 12, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   starburst2185

    Didn’t everyone have a “friend” like this in school? I can remember how smug they were going to college right after graduation, and now where are they? The drive thru at Hardee’s, asking me if I want extra ketchup. Me, I have an office job baby, no grease stains for me anymore!
    Not that I’m better than them or anything…;)

    Feb 12, 2008 at 10:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Troy McClure bang

    Say what you want, I don’t care
    Our friendship’ gone beyond repair
    Here’s a pro tip:
    Get some scholarship
    ‘Cause attitudes bum-like go nowhere

    Feb 12, 2008 at 10:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Canthz_B bang

      And the job you think is waiting for ya,
      Is moving off to India!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 12:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Shanoney

      oooooo, I like that, I like that a lot!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 6:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   KiKi

    Aww, poor James!

    Feb 12, 2008 at 10:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Shane

    TEAM Bum-Like Attitude!!!!

    Feb 12, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Shanoney

      Huuuuzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 6:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   park rose bang

    A life can have a lack of ambition? Help me out with this one.

    Maybe he means in a karmic, reincarnation kind of a way?

    Nope, didn’t quite reach nirvana this time around, back you go to the cash register

    Feb 12, 2008 at 11:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   WanderingPenguin bang

    Hmm. I really enjoyed the glimpse into James’ life a whole lot more when he was played by Jason Lee in Clerks 2 – and his nickname was “Picklefucker”. :D

    Feb 13, 2008 at 12:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Shanoney

      aawwww, he could get it on with pickles . . . no wonder no girl wanted to wank him. that and he was a dork! (I liked clerks 2!)

      Feb 13, 2008 at 6:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   TygerAKC bang

    Hopefully James doesn’t go through all that trouble of getting the fine education that will get him his dream career, and his future dream employer googles him and finds the facebook/myspace/whatever that we all know has incriminating photos of him and realizes what they DON’T want at their place of dream employment, therefore wasting all that hard work James went through to prove to his friends how much better he is than them.

    Feb 13, 2008 at 12:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   TygerAKC bang

      Oops…try saying all that in one breath!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 12:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   LadyAsh bang

      Right right… airing dirty laundry is one thing. Posting pictures of dirty laundry is another!

      Feb 13, 2008 at 10:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Tyler bang

    These are the kind of people that I remove from my friends list. And although rewriting lyrics can describe situations, I think “Basket Case” by Green Day fits perfectly without changing things around!

    Feb 13, 2008 at 12:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   fantasy bang

    I wonder if any of his inconvenient situations were “bumlike?” :oops:

    Feb 13, 2008 at 12:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    Dear James, we are so very proud of you! We wish you well as you obtain your education, land your dream job, marry your dream bride, purchase your dream home, start your 2.3 child and 1.5 dog household only to find yourself downsized out of your job and working the register here at Arby’s under my supervision!

    Feb 13, 2008 at 12:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   amy d bang

    I’m glad you have something to keep your life worth living because God knows you have nothing else to live for. The life you have lived and are living is lifeless and needs the lifeblood of a career. How else will you get life insurance to cover your life-form when your life cycle is no longer lively? It’s a life or death situation. In closing, I don’t want to give you my life story, but my education has been a lifesaver to me and helped improve my life-style. Get a life!

    Feb 13, 2008 at 7:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   park rose bang

      Thanks for the clarification, amy d. Now I know what it takes to have an ambitious life.

      Feb 13, 2008 at 7:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Shagnbag

    OH – I thought he said like-bum attitudes

    Feb 13, 2008 at 9:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   aaa

    Holy flying monkey crackers, I love “Laid!” Although now I’ve got “Frankly Mr. Shankly” kicking around in my head too… Hmmm… Having two songs competing for attention in your head is weird…

    Anyways, posting bitchy, oblique shit like this on a public forum like the Facebook, Myspace, Livejournal, or whatever is lame. Especially using your real name. :/ It’ll be even lamer when a potential employer googles this dude and comes across this and decides he doesn’t want to hire bitchy dicks. >:D

    A friend of mine had crap like this directed at him at the hands of a mutual ex-friend. Although I’m not surprised, since the ex-friend has a habit of pissing people off.

    Feb 13, 2008 at 11:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   GhostWriter bang

    Winning Sentence:

    “You go on living your superficial lives where the most fun you have is talking about the “wrong” things going on (only in YOUR heads mind you) between people that want nothing to do with you.”

    Ladies and Gentlemen, we have finally found Romeo’s Suicide Note!

    Feb 13, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Team Cassandra bang

      See now. That’s what’s wrong with this little post. I only says stuff about life. If it had some DEATH in there…well, now – THAT would have been something.

      OR He could follows #28′s lead.

      Feb 13, 2008 at 7:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Team Cassandra bang

    It’s true – it’s too boring. I’ve come back twice today and I can’t get through it.

    If it was written in my general direction the only thing I could say is: Well, I’m glad you worked that out for yourself then – it’s good to have a little self-confidence. I guess. because I’m polite like that :)

    Feb 13, 2008 at 5:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   damon

    He forget one last thing to add to this to make it perfect:

    “BEE-YOTCH!!!”

    :|

    Feb 13, 2008 at 6:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   bamBAM!!

    See, kids? This is why you shouldn’t smoke crack!!

    Feb 13, 2008 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   bamBAM!! bang

    how does He know that God knows?

    Feb 13, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Lurker

    “I will reprieve myself from my inconvenient situations” sounds like something Hamlet’s little brother’s accountant’s cousin would say.

    Feb 13, 2008 at 8:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Team Judge Others

    Gotta love how someone can judge someone else and makes themselves out to be holy and perfect?

    I also love that because there isn’t a college education involved that equals bum! Well shot my ass off Bill Gates ain’t no kolige gradi-ate. If that is failure I’d sure like a slice of that pie.

    Feb 14, 2008 at 3:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Juliet bang

      Gotta love how someone can judge someone else and makes themselves out to be holy and perfect?

      Everyone I know is like that. Everyone. It’s best to acknowledge it, move on, and continue with the judgments.

      Feb 14, 2008 at 11:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Gez bang

    Has someone already mentioned that the title brilliantly references ‘Laid’ by James? I’d read the comments but I just don’t want to.

    Feb 14, 2008 at 1:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   facebook schoolyard smackdown

    [...] course, as new york magazine reported this week, facebook is taking run-of-the-mill classroom sniping to a whole new level. if you have the patience (or the [...]

    Apr 1, 2008 at 4:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   thou shalt honor thy facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy

    [...] so obsessed that i’m becoming a bore digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit!   stumble it!   function fbs_click() { [...]

    May 29, 2008 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Al

    I know I’m late to the game here but I just found the site today. And I have to say I love the title of this post. Nice!

    Nov 20, 2008 at 2:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Nothing Sacred

    I am surprised that this post was not about neighbors complaining about the noises above.

    Jul 14, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Joanna

    a girl i know posts her entire life in facebook notes. it’s pretty funny…

    Aug 11, 2009 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Mia

    I’m just wondering if the title is a reference to a matt nathanson song?

    Aug 11, 2010 at 9:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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