Happy Valentine’s Day, kids!
(Thanks to Ron in West Jordan, Utah, who found this note taped to his front door.)
related: wake me up? wham!
FILED UNDER: kids · spelling and grammar police · spurned lover · Utah
Oh man! It’s aliens!
Gavxn i3 a heeart balcar Oon’t Like hlm.
I wonder what (3) means!
I fear for my my anus, as I may just have unwittingly warned of a probe.
Damn me for never having learned Xanthu!
Feb 14, 2008 at 12:02 pm rating: 10
Is it just me, or does no one who lives in an urban area ever get probed? It must be something in that redneck water.
Feb 14, 2008 at 5:57 pm rating: 0
I’m from an urban area and I get probed all the time! Or wait, did you mean probed by space creatures?
Feb 14, 2008 at 9:35 pm rating: 3
Why was a note to Garxn taped on Ron’s door?
Feb 18, 2008 at 2:20 pm rating: 1
I am curious if Anti-Gavxn sentiments were plastered all over West Jordan. I have an image of drunk women stumbling through the streets saying “yah know, yah know we should … GAVIN IS AN ASSHOLE! … we should warn people. No woman should get screwed over by Gavin again. GAVIN IS A DICK! … hey! Hey! Hey! Tammy gimme a piece of paper. Gimme …” “What?” “Gimme paper … an’a pen.” *writing* “O.K. … O.K. … now tape … oooh! a yellow highlighter I’ma color this … O.K. now … we need to put these up … Mandy? You still puking? We’ra goin’ out c’mon We have to warn the women of the world that GAVIN IS A DICK!”
Feb 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm rating: 7
hmmm perhaps there is something wrong with me that I think this was written by a drunk adult and not a broken hearted child.
Feb 14, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: 3
that’s not a drawing of a broken heart, it’s a copy of men’s room graffitti of a woman with her knees up in the air…maybe “Gavyn” is a girl???
Feb 14, 2008 at 12:22 pm rating: 2
So that’s what those second graders were doing behind the swings.
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:19 pm rating: 2
Does a heart braker slow down a relationship?
Feb 14, 2008 at 12:28 pm rating: 4
Set To Evil
Gavyn has a bumper sticker that reads “I brake for Hearts. Like me!”
Feb 14, 2008 at 12:37 pm rating: 8
Maybe it’s a heart broker. He deals in hearts. He may not have the best prices though. Try another broker.
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:00 pm rating: 3
I think it’s more like, okay well, this girl is obviously a hater of man kind. there fore, because Garvyn brakes for hearts, she doesn’t like him.
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: 0
Wow, bamBAM!!, you must have a wonderful job to be able to get progressively drunk throughout the afternoon. I can’t see any other explanation for the decline in lucidity of your comments as the day progresses, unless you are in a far east time zone: no caps after a period, “there fore” being typed as two separate words, “Garvyn” with an extra “r”…. it’s a veritable cornucopeia of wonderfulness.
Feb 14, 2008 at 11:07 pm rating: 2
Well, I do have a shot of whiskey after every post.
Feb 23, 2008 at 4:24 pm rating: 1
I thought the name said “Garyn”.
I also like the “Don’t like him” added at the end, because it states the obvious. H0w often do you hear, “He’s a heart braker – and it’s great!”?
Feb 14, 2008 at 12:56 pm rating: 0
How often do you hear “He’s a heart braker”
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:22 pm rating: 1
Well in this case the “E” from Breaker meandered over to “heart” which is why it says “heeart braker”
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:41 pm rating: 3
Now that Ron’s lounge lizard pseudonym “Gavin” is out in the open, maybe he’ll stop preying on Facebook teens.
Feb 14, 2008 at 1:03 pm rating: 1
I think this is cute. Probably written by a little girl who got her hair pulled on the playground.
Feb 14, 2008 at 1:03 pm rating: 0
The graph paper, the torn-out-of-a-notebook edges, the yellow highlighter, a nerd named “Gavin”…
…this is a Cemistry Lab romance gone sour.
Feb 14, 2008 at 1:05 pm rating: 3
What went so wrong, GW, that made you “get the ‘H’ out of” Chemistry Lab?
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:43 pm rating: 3
A silent “h” in Cemistry? Next you’ll be telling me there’s a “u” in color.
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:58 pm rating: 3
You know, funny you should mention that…
Feb 14, 2008 at 11:09 pm rating: 0
Don’t like him, love him! For to go through life with a name like Garxn 13 must have made him a man of great strength of will. Or an android.
Feb 14, 2008 at 1:22 pm rating: 2
She drew the broken heart then decided it was missing something…let’s see…hmmm…got it, yellow highlighter to add effect…just in case they need a illustration.
Feb 14, 2008 at 1:41 pm rating: 0
Yep, he broke her heart and pissed all over it, to add insult to injury.
Feb 14, 2008 at 2:04 pm rating: 6
Oh so Gavin is into water sports.
Feb 14, 2008 at 7:43 pm rating: 0
It’s much more poetic than that… she’s saying that he breaks jaundiced hearts.
Feb 14, 2008 at 10:38 pm rating: 3
Remember the episode of “Love Boat” where Christy McNichol fell in love with the Captain?
She really fell hard for Gavin MacLeod- had trouble keeping her roles and her life separate, it seems.
Feb 14, 2008 at 1:48 pm rating: 0
Is anyone else a bit frightened for Gavin’s safety? Or the safety of his pets?
Feb 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm rating: 0
You know, when I was in med school (never), I learned that poor penmanship is one of the key symptoms of a broken heart.
Then there sure are a lot of broken hearts in the world.
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:05 pm rating: 2
So is that heart supposed to be jaundiced, or infected, or otherwise diseased?
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:05 pm rating: 1
It’s actually the rear view of a mongoose styling a mohawk.
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:17 pm rating: 1
I thought it was a butterfly. But everybody else understood it to be a heart, so if it’s a heart, I say it’s a jaundiced heart. Again, I think that the picture of a diseased heart on such an artistic note is quite poetic and more self-referential than it is directed against the heart breaker.
He only breaks hearts that are already broken.
*choke* It’s so beautiful.
Feb 14, 2008 at 10:47 pm rating: 2
Boy this takes me back! I can tell from previous experience that this was created with Powerpoint 1995.
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: 2
Don’t tell my heart, my achy, brakey heart…
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:15 pm rating: 2
im feeling kind of worried about the yellow heart, broken or not no heart should be that colour
Feb 14, 2008 at 3:40 pm rating: 1
Nor should it be 2-D like that. What do schools teach these days??
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:24 pm rating: 0
maybe it’s a cowardly heart.
Feb 14, 2008 at 8:50 pm rating: 2
Delia’s just all worked up because Garyn gave her a cookie, and then proceeded to steal her apple juice.
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
Was the chick planning on doing Trig. homework on that graphing paper, but then decided she was too braken to work?
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:25 pm rating: 6
He’s a heart breaker!
Don’cha mess around with him!
Don’cha mess around, no no no!
Feb 14, 2008 at 4:56 pm rating: 0
oooh that song was dwelling at the edge of my thoughts ever since this note was posted … now you have given it voice and I have an ear-worm
Feb 14, 2008 at 5:02 pm rating: 0
And now my day is complete.
Feb 14, 2008 at 5:11 pm rating: 1
Aww, that’s cute and funny. poor little girl. LOL
Feb 14, 2008 at 5:21 pm rating: 0
I think it says Gavyn B a heart braker. Where did this note originate from, is it a stolen line from the latest Save the Next Dance movie?
Feb 14, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: 0
I first read it as Garyn <3 a heart breaker – ie, Garyn was the recipient of the heart brakin’ action.
Feb 14, 2008 at 8:52 pm rating: 0
Why did poor Ron have to be the recipient of the freaked out alien’s note? What did he do? Nice way to wake up… now is he expected to deliver said note? Doesn’t quite seem fair.
Team If You’re Gonna Leave A Note Find The Right Door, Dumbass
Feb 14, 2008 at 7:00 pm rating: 3
With a name like Garyn, what did she expect?
Feb 14, 2008 at 8:47 pm rating: 0
Her heart must really be braked for her to make the “s” in is go so out of control.
“Don’t like him” indicates a younger person. Liking is so Junior High.
Feb 14, 2008 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
I read “don’t like him” more as *hic* “Gavin shoon’t have frens. NO ONE shood like Gavin … Gavin is a DICK!”
Feb 15, 2008 at 8:23 am rating: 1
Me no like Gavyn.
Gavyn break my heart.
Please, you no like Gavyn too?
Me have fire and wheel.
Feb 15, 2008 at 2:25 am rating: 0
My kingdom for a tear stain!
Feb 15, 2008 at 2:35 am rating: 1
i love gavin hes my uncles bests friends brothers girl friends mums aunt who was married to gavin cousins ex wifes neices daughters boyfriends brothers best friends nephew
i want to marry him
i love him
and his dad
Feb 15, 2008 at 3:32 am rating: 0
That’s an interesting distribution curve. I wonder it it illustrates the frequency of broken hearts in Gavyn’s wake.
Feb 15, 2008 at 8:16 am rating: 2
I’d crush the drunk girly’s heart as well if my name was Gary N. and lil miss 30pack of natural light ice w/ a vodka chaser called me gavxrnnnsssllurrr…
Feb 18, 2008 at 8:12 pm rating: 0
OMGAW wen w1ll theez LOLcatz posteengs stop? DO NOT WANT GAVxN
DONT LIKE HIM.
I mayde u a hart braker, but I eated it. (and it was fd)
Feb 18, 2008 at 11:13 pm rating: 0
— The Beast Among Us
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