While other passive-aggressives plow through post-its with wild abandon, the caretaker of Kale’s building in Winnipeg has a more economical style.
P.S. Vetta, I think the only thing that would make me love this note more is if your postscript began with “I wish…”
related: And what’s your christmas wish?
57 responses so far ↓
#1
Writerrejected
This is some fine PAN holiday spirit. Get your damn garbage off the fire escape because:
1) I want to string some lights up
2) Santa won’t have room for the reindeer out there
3) Need to build some fire-escape snowpeople
4) I’m a warm and wonderful holiday douche
Feb 20, 2008 at 11:27 pm rating: +11
#2
Canthz_B
You know you’re a slow runner when the garbage gets out before you do in a dire emergency!
Feb 20, 2008 at 11:43 pm rating: +2
#3
Canthz_B
Don’t they usually depict a walking snowperson with the other, uh… flank facing the viewer?
Feb 20, 2008 at 11:50 pm rating: +2
#4
zenvelo
oh Vetta, you say that to ALL the girls!
Feb 20, 2008 at 11:52 pm rating: 0
#5
Suckers!
By deciphering this note you can tell that it actually says “fuck Christmas, just move your stank ass garbage before I get sued”…gotta love landlords and liabilities!
Feb 20, 2008 at 11:57 pm rating: 0
#6
c
Nothing says “Season’s Greetings” like a tip about handling your garbage!
Feb 21, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: +1
#7
Troy McClure
The worst Noel the landlord did say
Was “be certain to take all your garbage away;
If you leave it on the fire escape in a heap,
I’ll get it taken, and you’ll foot a bill not so cheap.
Noel, noel, noel, noel,
Worn is my patience, please don’t make me yell.”
Feb 21, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: +10
#8
Tyler
I wonder what her Hanuka card was like…
Feb 21, 2008 at 1:32 am rating: +1
#9
secondsout
The snowman has junk in the trunk, all right.
Feb 21, 2008 at 2:25 am rating: +6
#10
Detective Julie
Oh, that’s a Hall of Famer right there.
Feb 21, 2008 at 3:08 am rating: +1
#11
Naks
I like how the person wrote the garbage comment at the bottom in smaller print, as in: Notice this but dont notice it TOO much.
Feb 21, 2008 at 6:54 am rating: +2
#12
claw71
FAKE!
The PS is in different ink and was written by someone else. But in Keeping with the Holiday spirit:
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Clear your trash tonight
From now on could you keep it out of sight?
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
but throw garbage away
we could die because your bags of crap were in the way
Here we are sharing holidays
Happy Holidays to you
But your trash is bothering us
please listen to us or we’ll sue
Through the years
we’ll live next to each other
Rent control is how
Throw away your empty bags of Puppy Chow
and have yourself a Merry Little Christmas, now.
Feb 21, 2008 at 7:01 am rating: +6
#13
amy d
Frosty the Trashman is displeased with your garbage placement. He does not climb stairs of any kind. Let’s face it, he’s not exactly the poster boy for athletic prowress. Trash pick-up has been canceled until further notice. Happy Holidays!
Feb 21, 2008 at 7:18 am rating: +7
#14
Rumblefish
The whole clothing thing is wrong!!
I don’t get why snowmen need hats and not pants. Sorry, but I want my junk warm and toasty. For all we know this could be a snowwoman. He/she has a jacket with no buttons and several piercings that look like buttons on he/she’s chest (ouch!). Why the scarf? I saw Frosty the Snowman and the concept was to keep snowmen/snowwomen cold not warm. Who wants a warm snowman? Gloves? Why? Are he/she’s hands cold? IT’S A SNOWMAN!!!!!
I’d rather see a naked snowman. This PC stuff is crap!!!
Sorry, I’m on caffeine this morning.
Feb 21, 2008 at 7:33 am rating: +1
#15
GhostWriter
Vetta tries her best, but her mistake was letting her crabby husband Angus stuff the envelopes.
He recently retired from the Fire Dept., and could use a hobby.
Feb 21, 2008 at 7:59 am rating: +3
#16
claw71
So It’s OK for Donald Duck to run around with a shirt and no pants but snowmen have to go with all or nothing?
I hate double standards and I have had my caffine.
Funny story about that. I said I was giving it up for lent just so I could drink my coffee with a hearty dose of spite. Take that, GOD!
Feb 21, 2008 at 8:24 am rating: +5
#17
Lurker
Hey, Vetta, great way to get rid of the garbage problem by GIVING ME MORE GARBAGE.
Feb 21, 2008 at 8:35 am rating: +2
#18
amy d
Undertone of Vetta’s note:
The only reason I sent you this Christamas card was to prompt you to remove the trash from the fire escape. I care not if you have a happy holiday season.
Feb 21, 2008 at 9:51 am rating: +2
#19
TreeShaker
OMG – I sent those Christmas cards two years ago. But mine didn’t include a ‘qualifier’.
I saved that for the juicy Valentines.
Feb 21, 2008 at 9:59 am rating: +1
#20
claw71
Let’s assume that the PS is legit, either from Vetta or somebody else who had access tot he card and an ax to grind over the trash, which is more likely. Vetta left the card on the door and a neighbor scribbled the PS on the card. Plus they dotted something in the word escape. That’s creepy. Are we dotting the letter “p” now? James Kilpatrick didn’t tell me about it.
Count me in for TEAM CLEAN. Sorry, but if your trash is too offensive to keep in the house it’s too offensive to leave on the escape. Put on your slippers and haul the crap to the dumpster, you lazy bastards.
Feb 21, 2008 at 10:24 am rating: +2
#21
KittyKat
That’s not garbage! That’s my Christmas present to YOU, Vetta!
Feb 21, 2008 at 11:59 am rating: +3
#22
Sarah
Garbage roasting on the fire escape,
Trash cans sitting by the stairs,
Paper bags being crushed in a box,
And food trash scattered by the chairs.
Everybody knows old turkey and soup to go,
Help to make the building smell.
Frowning tots with their noses aglow,
Will find that they can’t sleep so well.
They know that Vetta’s on her way;
She’s loaded lots of cards and presents on her sleigh.
And every resident is going to spy,
To see if odors really can make you die.
And now I’m offering this simple phrase,
To tenants one to ninety-two,
Although it’s been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you!
(Now get your damn garbage off the fire escape.)
Feb 21, 2008 at 12:06 pm rating: +5
#23
Shuni
It’s the same handwriting- look at the G’s.
Feb 21, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#24
Quite Contrary
My aunt’s version of the card would be: “Merry Christmas. Looking forward to seeing you at Christmas dinner. Love, Aunt Jane. PS Still waiting for the thank you note for your birthday present.”
Feb 21, 2008 at 12:54 pm rating: +5
#25
sitboaf
Yeah, Porky Pig and Daffy Duck can get all gussied up in their Sunday best, with their dapper little hats and their bowties and crested jackets, and go about their daily routines without pants, but GOD FORBID if I should “forget” to put pants on when I drive thru the local Dunkin’ Donuts for a cruller and coffee.
No wonder the cops hang out there.
Feb 21, 2008 at 1:14 pm rating: +1
#26
claw71
Doesn’t everybody get doughnuts sans pants?
If I wore pants I wouldn’t have anywhere to put them, you know, with the coffee and everything.
Of course today was a bummer. Cold weather limits the capacity. Damn you, shrinkage!
Feb 21, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: +2
#27
Lurker
I’ll be home for Christmas;
You will see me there.
Please have have bags
Of trash and rags
Out on the fire stairs.
Christmas Eve will find them
Bursting at the seams.
I’ll be home for Christmas,
If only in my dreams!
Feb 21, 2008 at 3:23 pm rating: +5
#28
mamason
jingle bells
garbage smells
Santa’s on his way
the garbage bag
it makes me gag
so make it go away! Hey!
Dashing through the house
with garbage in the way.
O’er the the fire escape
Should I? What the hay.
Vetta’s at the door
with a Christmas wish or two
oh what fun it is to write
this parody for you!
Oh, jingle bells
garbage smells
Santa’s on his way
the garbage bag
it makes me gag
so make it go away! Hey!
Feb 21, 2008 at 4:21 pm rating: +11
#29
bamBAM!!
Husband: You’re sending a christmas card to the Jensons?
Wife: Yeah, why?
Husband: Well, Doug left his garbage on the fire escape and it’s still there.
Wife: I can’t just not send them a card.
Husband: Okay, fine.
(Wife walks away.)
Husband: I’m just gonna add a little bit down here… okay. good.
Feb 21, 2008 at 4:36 pm rating: +4
#30
bamBAM!!
The snowman looks pissed.
Feb 21, 2008 at 4:50 pm rating: 0
#31
bamBAM!!
I always leave the garbage on my neighbor’s fire escape. Is that a bad thing??
Feb 21, 2008 at 6:06 pm rating: +1
#32
bamBAM!!
Last christmas, I gave you my trash,
but the very next day you told me to move it………??
Feb 21, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: +1
#33
Sarah
This is fun.
Bags of garbage, dirty garbage
On the fire escape
In the air there’s an unpleasant odor.
People passing seek de-gassing
And they whine, whine and whine
So below your well-wishes you’ll read:
Garbage bags, garbage bags
Do not belong on the fire escape.
Please remove, PDQ,
Or you won’t see Christmas day.
Scores of neighbors
home from labors
Will encounter the smell
And embark on a search for new housing.
Hear them shouting
See them pouting
This is Vetta’s pet peeve
And in her correspondence you’ll read:
Garbage bags, garbage bags
Do not belong on the fire escape.
Please remove, PDQ,
Or you won’t see Christmas day.
Or you won’t see Christmas daaaaaaaaay!
Feb 21, 2008 at 10:55 pm rating: +5
#34
stargirl
that was stupid. i couldn’t even read that
Feb 24, 2008 at 7:32 pm rating: 0
#35 an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
[...] two birds with one snowman digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function [...]
Mar 3, 2008 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
#36 passive-aggressive mad libs | passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes
[...] two birds with one snowman digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function fbs_click() { [...]
Jul 30, 2008 at 3:56 pm rating: 0
#37 how sweet
[...] related: two birds with one snowman [...]
Dec 29, 2008 at 10:27 am rating: 0
#38 putting the “x” in “xmas”
[...] related: two birds with one snowman [...]
Dec 29, 2008 at 10:41 am rating: 0
#39 putting the “x” in “x-mas” | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: two birds with one snowman [...]
Dec 20, 2009 at 6:17 pm rating: 0
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