Over and Over – The Warning (Passive-aggressive Remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 156 comments

Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.

I'm tired of it  no more smoking for no one not at all but me and my room is no smoking room or using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes at no more my room is my room and no one else's room so don't demand me what to do in my room either Janice

(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)

related: Be informed, Homeland Security will be

FILED UNDER: crazypants · Milwaukee · pure poetry · Say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?


156 responses so far ↓

  • #1   claw71 bang

    I swear this is the rough draft for Britney’s latest song. My eyes usually glaze over when it comes on over the inane top 40 station the fat office cows groove to but I think this is the song.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   IV:XX

    Team Janice, even if her grammar and punctuation are a little off. Cigarettes linger for a while and it’s not pleasant at all.

    But I hope she’s not talking about herb…’cause pot smoke is fucking delicious.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:02 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   claw71 bang

      A little off? There is no punctuation. That’s pretty disturbing. I think Janice must have written this about 25 minutes after gobbling down some “herb” brownies. That’s the only thing that can explain this stream of semi consciousness tome. That or some form of autism…

      You know, if we could get Dustin Hoffman to read this it could fit right in to a remake of Rain Man.

      Feb 21, 2008 at 11:09 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   claw71 bang

      Also, I quit smoking years ago but nothing lingers quite like the self-righteous resentment non-smokers have for smoking.

      It’s enough to make me start up again…but then I see people laying down $4.29 a pack for Basics and I realize I can’t do it.

      Feb 21, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Sue Do Nim bang

      Give Janice some credit for correct use of apostrophes.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   um

      Janice says that *she* can smoke in her room, so it can’t be about the smell.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Team Cassandra bang

      Team 4:20!

      Feb 24, 2008 at 8:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Helen Skor

      claw, if she had been smoking weed, this letter would have been more like:

      “hey, dude. man. it would be, like, totally cool of you if you would refrain from smokin’ in my room unless whatever you’re smokin’ will give you a buzz. But if you must, I get it, man. I get it.”

      Jul 29, 2009 at 2:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Sarah

    …”Using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes”?

    Whatever goes on in that house is something I want no part of.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:13 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Alco-Holler!

      I second that!!

      Nov 17, 2008 at 4:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Watch carefully, as the aneurysm progresses the handwriting tilts further and further from the horizontal.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:16 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Heidi

      HAHAHAHAHA that honestly made me laugh out loud!

      Feb 22, 2008 at 5:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   a dude who goes to this site

      me too!

      Feb 22, 2008 at 6:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Miss Unloop

      It would be much more fun if it were written in blood.

      Janice, try turning the paper to the 1 o’clock position next time.

      Jul 22, 2008 at 12:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Coke-aholic bang

    For some reason this reminded me of Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents when the stewardess (yeah I still call them that) tried to take his bag. Don’t know why, but it did.

    Or, in a different perspective, it looks like the handwriting practice paper of a 7 year old in school.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   ER

    My impression is that Janice is someone whose first language is not English. And it’s odd how everything’s in cursive except for the “I’m tired of it” at the top..

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      I’m assuming that Janice is one of my former students, and assuming that all the time I spent teaching freewriting/stream of consciousness/James Joyce’s “Ulysses” . . . *almost* worked.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:40 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   morpho aurora bang

      grim – it worked a little too well. ;)

      i’d have to agree with one of the comments further down – the writer seems to be objecting to being used. i’d get kinda pissed if people stopped by my place just to hang out and smoke too. the note does seem to be just a teeny bit crazy, so maybe the intended recipients should watch their backs.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   cre8tivewmn bang

    Penmanship: 6 of 10
    Spelling: 10 of 1o
    Composition: 0 of 10.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   bamBAM!! bang

      Lining up: 6 of 10

      Self Control: 4 of 10

      Sharing: -4.6 of 10

      Feb 22, 2008 at 9:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Troy McClure bang

    Facing clear evidence of illiteracy, we cannot wait for the final proof—the smoking room—that could come in the form of a mushroom trip.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Coke-aholic bang

    Janice needs to invest in lined paper.

    And a grammar handbook.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   secondsout bang

      …and paxil

      Feb 22, 2008 at 5:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    Janice must be one big, scary b*tch if this girl has to write a note and run rather that just put a no smoking sign on the door of the room she apparently owns.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    I love the afterthought…“what if they want to know why(?)”… “I’m tired of it”

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:34 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   IV:XX

    Probably convinced the smokers no to light up anymore though…although if she had a problem with it and didn’t say anything about it until this PA outburst they might just stay clear altogether.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   S.S.

    Apparently, his room is a No Punctuation zone as well.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    my room is no smoking room it is my room so don’t smoke period

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   cass

    Drunk? Nice script if so.

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   DrAstroZoom bang

    To the tune of “Numb” by U2

    No more
    Smoking for no one
    Not at all
    But me
    And my room is
    No smoking room
    Or using me
    For a place to smoke
    Your cigarettes at
    No more
    My room is
    My room and
    No one else’s room
    So don’t
    Demand me what to
    Do in my room
    Either
    Janice


    I feel numb

    Feb 21, 2008 at 11:56 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   kingning

      I am above the law!

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   meg bang

    atrocious

    Feb 22, 2008 at 12:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   S.S.

      preposterous

      Feb 22, 2008 at 1:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   mamason bang

      outrageous

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   S.S.

      ludicrous

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   mamason bang

      lugubrious

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Ozymandias bang

      shagadelicious

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      sad

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   mamason bang

      thesaurus

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:45 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   Tyler bang

      Thesaurosaurus rex

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   S.S.

      ridiculous

      Feb 22, 2008 at 7:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   Team Cassandra bang

      Supercalifrajilisticexpialidocious!

      Feb 22, 2008 at 8:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   Writerrejected bang

      Poetry?

      Feb 22, 2008 at 10:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   Canthz_B bang

      Promentalshitbackwashpsychosisenemasquad

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   mamason bang

      8-O

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.14   S.S.

      Okay, who was the first asshole that ruined our thread of synonyms? Grrr.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 12:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.15   mamason bang

      I know, right?

      Feb 22, 2008 at 12:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.16   Canthz_B bang

      I swear, it was like that when I got here! :mrgreen:

      Feb 22, 2008 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.17   bamBAM!! bang

      fucking delicious

      Feb 22, 2008 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.18   park rose bang

      that’s comment 17.5, Bb :)

      Feb 22, 2008 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.19   Team Cassandra bang

      pathetic

      WHAT synonyms??? That was the closest I could get and it’s pretty fitting if you ask me :P

      Feb 23, 2008 at 2:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Will4You

    Scary thought: Based on the look of that door I think this note was posted on the door to a dormroom. I shudder to think what Janice’s application essay might read like.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 1:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   chuck

      my money’s on a different kind of institution…
      one that involves brain sickness.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   BoredInTheATL

      Yep

      Feb 22, 2008 at 10:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Writerrejected bang

      Definitely.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 10:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Sue Do Nim bang

      Absofuckinglutely.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   sarahcryst bang

      Concurred.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Canthz_B bang

      Indubitably.

      Feb 23, 2008 at 12:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   Team Cassandra bang

      Fersure.

      (See? THESE are synonyms!)

      Feb 23, 2008 at 2:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   Writerrejected bang

      Sayin’.

      Feb 23, 2008 at 10:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Tyler bang

    It’s too late, so I can’t even understand what she is trying to get across if she wants no smoking or if her room is no smoking but you can smoke if you want to in her room.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 1:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Khak

    WTF? I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that made LESS sense. I almost want to believe that the paper was bigger, and half (or a 1/3?) of the page got ripped off or something. At least then I assume that it would make sense if the rest of the words were there. If I could just figure out if Janice smokes or not. Almost sounds like somebody said no smoking and she is saying “you can’t tell me what to do in my room”

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   mamason bang

    Yeah! You can’t demand me what to do either!
    Girl power rocks!

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:32 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   mamason bang

    No more smoking for no one not at all but me… :-|
    Ummm… okay.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   cre8tivewmn bang

      OK, so now I think I get it. Smoking is allowed (or practiced) in this room . The problem is that other people have been coming by to visit and smoke their cigarettes. The note writer feels used and is offering this manif,esto to the world and to Janice especially. I’m not 100% convinced whether this is signed by Janice or directed to Janice.

      “No more smoking for anyone but me. My room is not a public smoking room. No more using my room for a place to smoke your cigarettes.

      My room is my room and no one else’s, so don’t tell me what to do in my room, Janice!”

      Feb 22, 2008 at 1:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   mamason bang

    Maybe what she meant was…
    No more smoking for no one? Not at all! Butt me! :-)

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:36 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    not no more passive-aggressive notes for no one or everyone but my door this is my door and my door is no notes so no one but me puts notes and dont use my door for notes but me so using me as a place for notes but for so and therefore why I’m tired of it fucking delicious whew!

    Feb 22, 2008 at 3:37 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   meander

      The original note feels like a lobotomy.
      And this is my favorite reply. Thanks for lifting my spirits while I waste away in a cubicle. Cheers!

      Jul 7, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   park rose bang

    put that at your pipe and smoke it! I demand you.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 3:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   amy d bang

    Maybe if they demand her to make her room a non-smoking room?

    Feb 22, 2008 at 6:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Rumblefish

    Read the note like Captain Kirk would read it, line for line. It kind of makes sense.

    Also since the text is leaning to the right I am guessing that Janice is a conservative.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 7:31 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Sue Do Nim bang

      A left-handed conservative.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   amy d bang

      P.S. Rumblefish, I loved you as a book.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Rumblefish

      Amy d, thanks, I liked the book as well, not so much the movie.

      Feb 28, 2008 at 7:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   aaa

    Don’t demand me what to do? I’m seriously hoping that English is Janice’s second language.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 8:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Team Cassandra bang

    Yeesh. This is hard. For me, a little too sobering.
    It sounds like someone with a limited education and/or mental capacity is being mistreated. I hope Peter took a minute to knock on that door and see if that girlie needs any help.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 8:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   tragically mep bang

      I’m with you. I’m thinking Peter works in an assisted living facility and Janice is stressed about how other residents treat her.

      Team Janice.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 9:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   summer

      probably a home for the mentally ill, they probably had a house meeting about this issue, in this situation, we are merely visiting their world, taking a peek into what they consider a very serious issue…perspective is everything in life.

      Feb 23, 2008 at 5:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Lurker

    Spluh?

    It might make sense without the “but me.” What it looks like is: Janice wants to be the only person in the house to smoke, but she has to do it outside her room, but other people are going into her room to smoke?

    MY BRAIN HURTS!

    Feb 22, 2008 at 8:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   RALPHY

    This note sounds like something that Janice Joplin wrote during a moment of– lets say– chemically induced subconcience streaming. I want some of the same shit she’s been smoking.
    SOOO THERE!

    Feb 22, 2008 at 8:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   mere bang

      well, whatever it is she’s smoking, it’s definitely NOT cigarettes!

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Jaybird

    That is the longest sentence I have ever seen. It sounds like Miss South Carolina wrote it too.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 8:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   sarcastic monkey

      It does not sound like Miss South Carolina wrote it. There is no mention of “the Iraq” anywhere in there.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:19 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   me :)

      or “such as”

      Feb 25, 2008 at 11:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Smack

    She’s like, a retarded e.e. cummings.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 9:17 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Writerrejected bang

      Or Gertrude Stein dissecting the meaning of the words through nonsensical repetition– oh yeah, and in a sober, halfway house.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 10:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   the dawd bang

    This one time at band camp… i tried some amphetamines and the rest of the night was one long run on sentence spoken at about 180 words per minute, but they were really long minutes, because if you stared at the clock, the clock doesn’t change, look at it, it isn’t changing, wow was that something shinny…hi name is darren, and this is my first time trying this stuff wow i can see throughtimedidyouknowthata;lskdjf;f…. [/heartattack]

    Feb 22, 2008 at 9:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   sarcastic monkey

      “This one time at band camp” – straight from American Pie

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   mystyk 7

      it’s a running joke, columbus

      Feb 22, 2008 at 1:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Sue Do Nim bang

      and you too, Columbo…

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   Canthz_B bang

      Wow! A Trifecta! :roll:

      Feb 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   claw71 bang

    Yeah, English is her second langauge because Janice is from a little place call Crazy Town. It’s in the heart of a state known as Psychotic.

    Run, Peter, Run. All smoke and no more make Janice go crazy.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 9:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   amy d bang

      Smoke and no more, Janice go crazy,
      deep in the heart of psychotic

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Ben

    I’ve figured it out! Janice is actually 8 years old and bitching at her parents to stop smoking in her room. Only Janice is allowed to smoke in her room!

    Feb 22, 2008 at 10:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   iheartalexis

    omg this note totally does sound like a hot chip song!

    Feb 22, 2008 at 10:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   brinkofacomplex bang

    that does not make any sort of sense! one can garner from the repetition of the words “smoking”, “no”, and “room” the general idea, of course, but…
    really, this is horrific.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   hoopla

    this note is best read aloud in two styles:
    Slam Poetry
    William Shatner

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   sarcastic monkey

    You’ve all missed the point. Janice has been coming into the note-writer’s room and telling him/her what to do. Read the latter part again,

    … my room is my room and no one else’s room so don’t demand me what to do in my room either Janice

    Clearly, Janice has been telling the note writer that he/she must allow her to smoke in his/her room and on his/her person.

    It all makes sense.

    Not.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Canthz_B bang

      See #10…Been there, done that. ;-)

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   GhostWriter bang

      Sure, maybe you’ve been there and done that, but have you also considered the possibility that there are two Janices?

      …and the note applies to either of them?

      Feb 22, 2008 at 2:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   Canthz_B bang

      No, did not consider two…hmm…”either Janice”…Nice GW!

      I just figured that without punctuation it could be read either way (from Janice or to Janice). 8-)

      Feb 22, 2008 at 8:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   claw71 bang

    I can’t believe nobody mentioned the possibility that this is a Tori Amos song. I was thinking that Suzanne Vega could have penned it but the line about “using me for a place to smoke” is clearly right out of Tori’s angry white girl song writing manual. Page 33, in fact.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Huh?

    Sooooo, is the note *from* Janice or *to* Janice? If she’d put in that missing piece of punctuation between the last two words, it would all be perfectly clear, wouldn’t it?

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmykalamahoo! kalamahee! kalamabringachairplease!

    everyone loves hot chip

    Feb 22, 2008 at 11:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Emily

    janice, arrest yourself

    Feb 22, 2008 at 12:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   amy d bang

    Why does everything remind of a song today?

    Arrest yourself
    Janice you’ve go to
    Arrest yourself
    Hey, hey, hey, hey

    Feb 22, 2008 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Eilis bang

    This one almost makes me worry about my karma. I want to make fun of the poor little mentally retarded/elderly/medicated/psychiatrically enhanced/ESL woman, but somehow it just doesn’t feel right. Maybe she just needs a good smack. Or some Haldol.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 1:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Sandy

    “no more no more!” Isn’t that part of an Aerosmith song???

    Feb 22, 2008 at 1:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Juliet bang

    Janice needed this sign to hang on her door:

    http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=smoked-visitor.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2008-01-16

    But in the absence of it she had to write a note.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 1:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   mere bang

    why do i get visions of milton from the movie ‘office space’ when i read this?

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   PixelPerfect

      Funny – I had an image of “Rain Man” Raymond Babbitt for some reason.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   claw71 bang

    artist: AMOS, TORI
    track: Smoke Me

    this is my rooom it’s mine I can smoke here
    don’t demand me to make you smoke in here too
    this is my room you smoke here but no more
    no more can you smoke it’s for no one in here

    Smoke Me no more, no more can you smoke me my room is my room no more will you smoke me
    it’s my room demand not to smoke me no more.

    No
    More
    No
    More

    Using me for a place to smoke I can’t stand it no more.

    At

    My

    Room

    Smoke

    Me

    (long paino creshendo followed by dramatic silence)

    no more

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   Helen Skor

      This could not be more perfect if Tori herself had written it!

      Aug 20, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   GhostWriter bang

    That note doesn’t sound like Shatner.

    This sounds like Shatner.

    Attention, CrewOfTheEnterprise,
    ThisIsTheCaptain,
    OneOfTheCrew has TAKEN, the LIBERTY
    of Smoking………………………………….InMyCABIN!
    Now, IWantThe Entire Crew,
    to Understand,
    There-WILL-BE-NO-SMOKING!
    InMyCabin!
    I HOPE
    this makes things,
    PerfectlyClear … ToAllOfYou
    and Yeoman RAND -
    Yeoman JANICE RAND -
    PleaseReportToTheBridge

    ThatIsAll.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 2:55 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #51.1   amy d bang

      That’s fucking brilliant.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 3:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #51.2   Lurker

      Shatneriffic!

      Feb 24, 2008 at 1:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #52   Sarah bang

    To the tune of “This Land Is Your Land”:

    My room is my room
    And no one else’s room
    So don’t demand me
    What to do in my room
    And I am tired of it
    My room is no smoking
    For no one, no, not at all but me

    Feb 22, 2008 at 3:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   T-Bar

    Wow, I feel compelled to post if only to express my love of the Hot Chip references. Janice will also snap off your head.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   Juliet bang

      I too love Hot Chip, and all the references to them.

      Feb 24, 2008 at 2:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #53.2   tara

      agreed.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   bamBAM!! bang

    I no more want no one to leave me notes that are nonetheless passive aggressevive no more than the same.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 9:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   bamBAM!! bang

    So, does Janice smoke and it’s only her whose allowed to smoke in her room? Or is no one, no more including her.

    Feb 22, 2008 at 9:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Writerrejected bang

      Exactly the question.

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.2   durian

      But what is the question in 55? Clever post, btw.

      Is it:
      No-one is no longer including Janice?
      OR
      Is no-one no more, including her, allowed to smoke?

      Feb 22, 2008 at 11:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.3   Writerrejected bang

      Yes.

      Feb 23, 2008 at 9:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #55.4   bamBAM!! bang

      Whoa!! sorry about the insane typo above, I didn’t notice it till now. Now I can’t fix it. Damn.

      Feb 23, 2008 at 4:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   Anastasia Beaverhausen III

    I’ve taught high school English for many years, and believe it or not, I’ve seen worse.

    I typed it up in Word and then took the liberty of adding punctuation and had to strike through a few words (the strike-throughs didn’t work here, so I just took the two words out) and add a few words (in parentheses) to make more sense of it, but hopefully I kept the spirit of the…..thing:

    “I’m tired of it”
    By anonymous

    No more smoking for no one! Not (anyone) at all but me. And my room is (a) no smoking room. Also, no using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes! (At no more) my room is my room and no one else’s room, so don’t demand what to do in my room either, Janice!

    Feb 23, 2008 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Neil

    Judging by the note it seems Janice has been smoking something…and I don’t think it is cigarettes.

    Feb 23, 2008 at 4:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   six58

    she spelled cigarette correctly. shrug.

    at least.

    Feb 23, 2008 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   katherine

    My clinical impression is that the syntax here just screams “schizophrenia”. However, research (done at Duke University, so it, uh, might be biased) shows that nicotine does reduce some of the negative symptoms of schizophrenia, so maybe Janice should be encouraged to light up? if she isn’t doing so already?

    Feb 23, 2008 at 1:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #59.1   summer

      cigs are so important in the daily life of many, but especially to schizophrenics, and if Janice is schizophrenic, the note is written just the same as how she talks.

      Feb 23, 2008 at 5:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #59.2   mamason bang

      Roses are red
      Violets are blue
      I’m schizophrenic
      and so am I
      :-| What?

      Feb 23, 2008 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #59.3   MissD.

      Are you implying Janice and Janice are actually the same person?
      Could explain the ambiguous reference to Janice in itself… And the different handwritings. And the general lunacy of the note.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 9:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #60   summer

    those smiley faces help convey the message, what, do you have to pay like 9.99 per month to use fancy fonts and smileys or what!

    Feb 23, 2008 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #60.1   mamason bang

      Please forgive me if the above post was only rhetorical, but just in case it wasn’t- just arrow over the various smilies and it will show you how to make them. 8-)

      Feb 23, 2008 at 10:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #61   geekay

    I hate to admit this, but it reminds me of one of Mojo Jojo’s rants from “Powerpuff Girls”

    Feb 24, 2008 at 1:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   summer

    8-)

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   summer

    8-(

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   summer

    :-0

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   summer

    8-0

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   summer

    am i having fun yet? i need to find better things to do with my sunday morning.

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #66.1   bamBAM!! bang

      why are you up at this early hour?? it’s 9:14 here. i’m about to pass out.

      Feb 24, 2008 at 10:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #67   Writerrejected bang

    Janice Joplin? (Lyrics could make sense if shooting or snorting H.)

    Feb 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #68   Lurker

    Here’s one for the Beatles fans:


    I’m so tired, I haven’t had a smoke,
    I’m so tired, and this is not a joke,
    I wonder should I write up a nnote for you folks,
    No,no,no.

    I’m so tired, can’t even write by hand,
    I’m so tired of all your room demands.
    I wonder should I call you but I’m too tired to stand.

    You’ve all been having a ball,
    But now no one not at all.
    You know I can’t sleep, I’m not feeling fine.
    You know I can’t even write a straight line.
    You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
    for a little peace of mind

    I’m so tired, I’m feeling so upset
    Although I’m so tired I’ll have another cigarette
    And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
    He was such a stupid git.

    I’m so tired…

    Feb 24, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #69   Crash bang

    Damn…everyone else has said it all…but damn…
    WTF ???
    Holy Shit !!!
    and OMG !!!

    Feb 24, 2008 at 6:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #69.1   summer

      8-O

      Feb 24, 2008 at 8:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #70   summer

    i am getting the hang of this. Janice is great, she identified her feelings, and effectively told those around her how she felt, asserted herself as passively as possible by leaving a note. team Janice all the way!

    Feb 24, 2008 at 8:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #71   TC

    For the love of God! Can someone please just track down Janice and ask her what the fuck this note means? Clearly, we are all loosing sleep over the riddle, so it must be solved. Could forensics somehow decode it? Those clowns on CSI would already have this figured out.

    Someone please, hop on this! Just not me…

    Feb 25, 2008 at 2:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #72   Anne

    just like a monkey with a miniature cymbal….

    Feb 27, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #73   Stephanie

    Nice Hot Chip reference, props

    Apr 2, 2008 at 11:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #74   roomba’s revenge

    [...] over and over – the warning (passive-aggressive remix) extra credit: daft hands [...]

    Feb 27, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #75   Helen Skor

    I have used my magic decoder ring on this PA note and have translated it so that those of you who are still waiting to collect the last 2 UPCs from your cereal boxes will know what in the hell is going on.

    1.) Janice is the writer of the note and owner of the room.

    2.) She is a smoker.

    3.) Everyone else comes to her room to smoke and then leaves – they are not there for the pleasure of her company.

    4.) Janice is tired of feeling like everyone just uses her because her room has become the “smoking lounge.”

    5.) She is telling people that they can no longer smoke in her room.

    6.) She, however, can continue to smoke in there because it’s HER room – and no one can tell her otherwise.

    I hope this has helped to clarify things. In addition to having the decoder ring, it helps that I’m fluent in Crazy – it’s actually my native tongue.

    Jul 29, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #76   ajoyfuldawn

    reading her note made my brains hurt!!

    Aug 20, 2009 at 1:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #77   MsManners bang

    Thanks to Helen Skor for the translation, unfortunately my Crazy skills are a little rusty.

    Sep 8, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #78   leena

    my frnd wants to update sumthin kewl on fb..
    any suggestions guyz ?

    Sep 29, 2009 at 3:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #78.1   GK bang

      Suggestions… let me see.
      * Play in traffic
      * Run with scissors
      * Go to the cleaning cupboard and drink whatever you find
      * Eat a four-course meal and immediately go swimming
      * Skydiving without a parachute
      * Tell TOS you think he’s “hot”

      Sep 29, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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