But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted

February 24th, 2008 · 109 comments

Charlie in Hopkinton, Massachusetts (age 17) and his little brother (age 15) spent a good deal of time scheming about how to respond to their mother’s notes around the bathroom before deciding upon shaving cream as their weapon of choice.

p.s. Matilda: the most passive-aggressive child in fiction? (Also, Muggle-wump: the most passive-aggressive monkey?) discuss!

related: Living with an adolescent (abridged)

FILED UNDER: bathroom · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads


109 responses so far ↓

  • #1   jenechka

    My mom tells me to get out of her bathroom all the time too!

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   A. Nony Mouse

      Yeah, but the difference is they’re younger than 35, and not borrowing her razor.

      Feb 24, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   jenechka

      haha. I am 22 and also not borrowing her razor.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 11:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   secondsout bang

      As a male, I can’t imagine borrowing my mom’s razor. I don’t think I’d want to shave my face with the same razor that my mom uses to trim her pubes.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   mamason bang

      8-O ewwwww

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    A good deal of time scheming and the best these guys could come up with is “NEVER!!” :?:

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:52 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Summer

      oh man, a question mark in a circle :?: this gets better and better.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    “We weren’t using your bathroom, mom.
    Just changing the videotape.”

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:55 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   zenvelo

    maybe if Mom had taught them to flush….

    Feb 24, 2008 at 9:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Wade bang

    Forget the sign.

    Is that a bottle of liquor in the shower?

    Feb 24, 2008 at 10:02 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   park rose bang

      Ah, so that’s why mum wants them to use their own bathroom ;)

      Feb 24, 2008 at 10:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   pickle bang

      What, don’t you keep liquor in your bathroom?

      Feb 25, 2008 at 2:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   raiseyourglass

    I call bullsh**!
    She typed it on the computer to post it in her own bathroom, yeah right!

    Feb 24, 2008 at 10:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Canthz_B bang

      Why the mirror not the door?

      Feb 24, 2008 at 10:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   i dunno...

      I believe it. My mom would totally print out her passive-aggressive notes, and chores list and… well, she’s a tech person. (I’m 25, she’s…not.)

      Feb 24, 2008 at 11:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   claw71 bang

      I don’t think that’s shaving cream. I think it’s an Oedipal message.

      Dirty little wanker kids playing in mom’s bathroom.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 9:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   bobwong

      Ooh, ick! TMI, Claw.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 10:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   raiseyourglass

      ewww!

      Feb 26, 2008 at 9:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   amy d bang

    Your mother doesn’t live here. Oh, wait. She does.

    Feb 24, 2008 at 10:06 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Sarah bang

    Is that a beer bottle in the shower?

    Feb 24, 2008 at 10:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   K

      It makes the hair shiny. There’s a perfectly good explanation for that!

      Feb 25, 2008 at 9:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    If the boys had a bathroom maybe they would use it. What are they supposed to do in a “bathroon”?

    Feb 24, 2008 at 10:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Mystic

    Are we really sure that’s shaving cream?

    Feb 24, 2008 at 10:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Summer

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..

      Feb 25, 2008 at 1:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Tyler bang

    It looks like a resturant bathroom or something with the occasional black tile on the floor.

    Feb 24, 2008 at 11:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Kelly

    REVEN!

    Feb 24, 2008 at 11:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   bellabeastie

    Pretty soon Mom will be standing by the door with a hatchet…. REDRUM…. Yikes.

    Team OK I Will Use My Own Bathroom … and clean my room… and make my own breakfast and do my homework…and..

    cut my hair… or something..

    Just Please Please no more freaky notes or I will have to resort to drinking beer in your shower. You have been warned….

    Feb 25, 2008 at 12:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   bellabeastie

    Film at eleven.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 12:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    Mom’s probably upset because “someone” keeps using all her hand lotion and tissues . . .

    Feb 25, 2008 at 1:57 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   ErikaBlare

    Sorry, I must side with Team Mom’s Only Clean And Private Refuge In The House. Go piss on your own toilet seat, you nasty little boys!

    Feb 25, 2008 at 2:42 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   fangelohio

    I think they’ll put plastic wrap under the seat next. Then they will be on the eleven o’clock news.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 5:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Sandy

      Yeah the 17 year old … b/c he went in there while the saran wrap was on the toilet too barf off a good teenage drunk and passed out… suffocating on the saran wrap or in his own puke.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 7:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   anglophile bang

    I think she’s mostly afraid they go in there to try on her pink nightie….

    Feb 25, 2008 at 7:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Rumblefish

    I think the boys should have TP’d the bathroom.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 7:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Sandy

      Saran Wrap on the toilet always makes a mommy happy!

      Feb 25, 2008 at 7:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Sandy

    What’s a bathroon? And I cannot believe the originality of the response …
    NEVER! Are you sure they are 17 and 15; sounds like 7 and 5.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 7:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   GhostWriter bang

    You know, this just goes to show you that American Vice law is stuck in the middle ages.

    Can you believe that we will have to wait three full years until this can legally be turned into a porno movie?

    Feb 25, 2008 at 8:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Writerrejected bang

    A mother who leaves passive aggressive notes around the house during her kids’ childhood seems like a nightmare to me. A PAN training ground for her own children?

    Anyway, I’d love to see those other notes:

    1) Do not take a dump in the clean diaper I just put on you. Do I look like your maid?

    2) Thank you for spitting upon me EVERY TIME you breast feed; I really LOVE smelling like rotten milk all day!!!!

    3) I’m pretty sure some poor homeless child would very much like your pretty bedroom,and at least SHE would make her bed every day. Love you, Mom.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 8:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   anglophile bang

      Taped to their dishes:

      “I went through all the trouble to make you this nice dinner. It would be nice if you showed a little appreciation and ate at least a few bites of everything. And DONOT feed your broccoli to the dog. We don’t need to be smelling dog farts all night. That is just plain nasty and trifling.”

      Feb 25, 2008 at 9:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   claw71 bang

    These kids are lame. They should have written R3V3N on the wall facing the mirror in mommy’s bright red lipstick. There’s just no creativity in kids today.

    As for the mother, putting up a note is stupid. You have to establish authority over your children. She should do like my mother did and burn those kids with Virginia Slims. I’ll tell you what, that kept my butt in line. Everytime I start to do wrong I look down at one of those scars and I feel the burn. I can still smell the charred flesh with a refreshing hint of menthol. Good times.

    You’ve come a long way, baby.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   mamason bang

      Claw, You’ve made me feel all warm and fuzzy you sentimental thing you. ;-)

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   unholyghost2003 bang

    That is the trouble with boys. They make their OWN bathroom so nasty that not even THEY will use it … then move on to the other bathrooms in the house. The migration wouldn’t be so bad if it was just for the occasional wee, but they can tolerate the stench and filth of their own bathroom for the 60 sec it takes to pee. No, they only use Mom’s clean and comfortable bathroom when they are settling in for a giant, smelly 20 min shit. This renders Mom’s bathroom unuseable for the next 3 hours and she has to get ready to go to work to pay for all that T.P. they just wasted!

    Feb 25, 2008 at 10:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   mamason bang

      Was the TP really wasted if it was a giant, smelly 20 minute poopy? 8-O

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      ugh boys ALWAYS use too much TP though … between that and their giant poops is the reason they are always overflowing the toilet.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   mamason bang

      tru dat.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Lurker

    I dunno, wouldn’t it be better to just teach the kids to not do whatever it is they’re doing in the bathroom that makes her not want to share it with them?

    We had two bathrooms in the house I grew up in, and everybody used both of them. If we made a mess, we got punished for making a mess, but we weren’t banned from the room.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 11:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      See my above comment. Unless you propose teaching them not to defecate…
      a slick trick if you can manage it!

      Feb 25, 2008 at 11:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   claw71 bang

      We had one bathroom growing up. It didn’t even have a door. My dad was one of those marathon poopers who only crapped twice a week but when he did it was a three hour production. So if we had to hit the head while he was doing his thing we either had to hold it or aim for the gap.

      We also practiced the mellow yellow technique but I have to tell you that there’s nothing quite as repulsive as that splash of pee water that manages to hit you right in the crack after you laid your loaf down. Ker-plunk!

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Lorelie

      Let me count the ewwws, Claw.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 2:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   mamason bang

      Ker-plunck! Excellent game from the ’70′s.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   secondsout bang

    Does this mother really need PANs to enforce? She’s the mother! Take away their Guitar Hero, and have the father go after these little shits with a belt.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   mamason bang

      Ummm… I think that going after any shit with a belt will only make matters worse. I just think it would splatter.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Writerrejected bang

      But in some cultures, “Mother” and “Passive Aggressive” are synonymous.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   mamason bang

    I’m tired of it
    no more pooping for no one not at all but for me and my bathroom is no pooping room or using me for a place to poop your pooping at no more my bathroom is my bathroom and no one elses bathroom don’t demand me what to do in my bathroom either Janice

    Feb 25, 2008 at 12:15 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   secondsout bang

      No pooping in the bathroom; that’s what dressing rooms and trashcans are for.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Sarah bang

      That is the best thing I have read all week.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 12:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Lurker

      Do I smell another episode of “Peter the Pooper?”

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   mamason bang

      Peter pooper pooped a peck of pickled poopy.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 6:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   claw71 bang

    Teen boys: the locusts of household restrooms.

    Loo by loo they move through the house, taking long masturbatory showers with the curtain on the outside of the tub. They deficate in massive quantities and never flush. They consume roll after roll of toilet paper but yet still manage to leave enough poo in their cracks to ferilize a garden. Clothes, wet towels and Twinkie wrappers seem to multiply exponentially every second a boy is in the bathroom.

    Boys will urinate two at a time, dueling each other with streams of urine that manage to find corners you didn’t know existed. Boys are the reason stores like Home Depot make all their money selling bathroom kits.

    But yet it’s the women’s public restrooms that are the most vile.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 12:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Heidi

    No supper for you!!!

    Feb 25, 2008 at 12:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Canthz_B bang

      Somebody had to say it! :lol:

      I had forgotten all about urine fencing at camp (not band camp!). ♥

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Meagan

    OK, somebody is going to have to explain Claw to me because I don’t get it. He’s gross and stupid. Child abuse isn’t funny, that goes for you too Secondsout. Belts and cigarettes are a cruel reality for too many children. You two need to grow up.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 3:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      Did it hurt when they removed your sense of humor? What is the post-op recuperation time on that?

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:23 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   claw71 bang

      Child abuse isn’t funny but jokes about child abuse are.

      Come on, Sally Struthers, live a little. It’s like Crosby, Stills and Nash used to say:

      You, with a master bath
      must invoke your wrath
      when they leave the seat down
      and so, take off your belt
      and give them hell, a righteous beat down

      beat your children well
      give them hell and make sure they do cry
      and feed them cold pork and beans
      you command respect or else they will die

      Don’t worry when they cry
      just stab them in the thigh
      and look them in the eye, and know they fear you.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      See the thing is Meagan … What YOUR attitude say is “Abused children! There is no levity and no humor in your situation. Your only option in life is to be a miserable wretch and object of my pity! No, we will never speak of it except in serious tones while looking upon you as pathetic creatures. Cower in your shame!”

      YOUR attitude is far more offensive than anything Claw has yet to come up with. Jump down off your high horse and pull the stick outta your ass.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   claw71 bang

      Damn, UHG, I’m just not trying hard enough.

      Penis! Fart! Poop!
      I was born on a pile of shit!

      Am I getting warmer? Are you offended?

      Hebrew National hotdogs are made of foreskin! IT’S FORESKIN!!!!

      Look at that. I went after the Jews. THE JEWS!!! Jesus was a Jew! Somebody has to be offended.

      PLEASE BE OFFENDED!!! It’s how I validate myself.

      And Meagan: blow me where the pampers is.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   mamason bang

      The stick in the ass. An added bonus from abusive parents.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      LOL I once threatened a friend … his reply “What are you going to do? Kill my savior again?”

      I am pretty hard to offend … yet Meagan managed it …

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   mamason bang

      Jesus was a Jew? 8-O

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.8   Canthz_B bang

      Child abuse techniques can be funny as hell, once you’ve grown up, that is.
      My mom used to make us kneel on uncooked rice with our arms streched out to the sides.
      I hated rice for years! :oops:

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.9   Team Cassandra bang

      It’s funny if it’s YOUR child abuse. It’s everyone else’s that’s sad.
      I guess that means you never got any.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 5:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.10   secondsout bang

      wow, I didn’t expect to be called out for that comment about spankings more than my comment about shaving my face with the same razor as my mom trims her pubes. Jokes about spankings seem fairly innocuous. It may not be your style of parenting, but let’s face it that it is/was fairly common in this country for a long time. I can think of numerous instances of spanking jokes in fairly common comedy sources such as “The Simpsons,” “Calvin & Hobbes,” “Donald Duck,” “Mad TV,” etc. Hell, my junior high school still had corporal punishment when I was there in the early 90s. Lighten up. If you want to find clean jokes that are not going to offend anyone, you certainly won’t find them in the comments field on this website.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 5:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.11   mamason bang

      Homer Simpson frequently tries to strangle Bart.
      Good parenting or not? *discuss*

      Feb 25, 2008 at 6:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.12   secondsout bang

      Specifically, I was referring to an episode where Grandpa Simpson is supposed to babysit Bart and Lisa. It shows Grandpa sitting in the Flanders’ living room observing Rod and Todd playing checkers.

      Abe: Now you got her, Bart. Jump Lisa’s king.
      Rod: I’m not Bart. I’m Rod Flanders.
      Abe: There you go with that smart mouth! Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch.
      Todd: Yes, sir!

      Funny stuff.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 6:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.13   Canthz_B bang

      Spare the rod, spoil the child.

      Where did I read that?

      Not every episode of physical discipline rises to the level of “child abuse”.
      I can guarantee that a “time out” would not have deterred me when I was a child, but the threat of “The Belt” did wonders! :-P

      Feb 25, 2008 at 7:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   claw71 bang

    OOOH, divine inspiration BOHEMIANstyle:

    Momma, I just took a crap
    I did it in your loo even though you said not to
    Momma, I feel close to you
    when I’m jerking off in your new marble bidet

    Momma, OOH EE OOH, I didn’t mean to clog the drain
    If I can’t find the plunger by tomorrow, mop the floor, mop the flo0r because it’s just some fecal matter…

    Feb 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   mamason bang

      brilliant

      Feb 25, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   tragically mep bang

    It would be way more PA if she didn’t even bother with the note. If this wasn’t their first warning, she should have gone with a padlock on the bathroom door. If that didn’t correct the problem, change the locks on the house when they are at school.

    *That* will teach them. :)

    Feb 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Meagan

    I’m not on a high horse. There are just some things that aren’t funny and child abuse is one of them. My God, have you no shame?

    Now Claw’s writing poems about incest. What’s next rape? Probably now that I brought it up.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   mamason bang

      Incest is rape. *and about as funny as a truck load of dead babies* Is that offensive? :-|

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   mamason bang

      And when did whacking off in your parents bathroom become incest. I mean unless your mom is there giving you “encouragement”.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   mamason bang

      I think it is very common for people who have survived abuse to minimize the experience through the use of outrageously funny, “inappropriate” humor. Claw may have been making fun of the abuse he suffered as a child. I think it takes some pretty big balls to tell someone that they can’t laugh about their own experience.
      But then, Claw may just be an asshole. J/k :-)
      I don’t want to offend anyone. ;-)

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      mama … The joke about the truckload of dead babies is funny IMHO

      Meagan, I am shame free since 1988! :-D

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   claw71 bang

      Oh Charlie, that’s a nice boner you’ve got there. That’s it, keep stroking it. Slower. Don’t rush it , Charlie. Doesn’t that feel good?

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   mamason bang

      Uhg- It’s not as funny as unloading that truck with pitchforks.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   claw71 bang

      I could feel the raging erotic heat of her loins through her tight Guess jeans. And her tight, erect nipples were like hot kalamata olives begging to be kissed. She pushed her hips into me creating an exquisite friction against my rock hard manhood and I could feel the explosion of gooey release erupt in my boxers.

      “Sis,” I whispered into her ear, “Mom’s not going to be happy when she checks the hamper tonight”

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   Canthz_B bang

      Thank goodness there was a sister! The note description only mentioned the brothers. Now that’s incest! :twisted:

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   mamason bang

      In your boxers? Premature ejaculate much? :-)

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   mamason bang

      Gives new meaning to the term brotherly love.
      :-P

      Feb 25, 2008 at 5:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   bamBAM!! bang

    In my personal opinion, I think the boys were only in there in search of condoms.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 4:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   bamBAM!! bang

      17 is a risqué age.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   bamBAM!! bang

    If the boys were smart they would know not to leave evidence.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 4:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Quite Contrary

    Not even a “Love, Mom”? That’s just cold.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 4:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   bamBAM!! bang

      My mom would always sign PANs with a <3, M.

      like M was her initial. for Mom.

      Feb 25, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Team Cassandra bang

    As a child: YAY! Team Never!

    As a mother: You know I have control of the bank accounts, right? And the car? And the food supply? And the keys to the house? If you want to keep using the bathroom, you go right ahead – I’ve got some things I’ve been wanting to do, too:)

    <3, M.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 5:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Heywood

    Annoying little punks. Can’t wait until they’re 18 and those parents kick their ungrateful butts out the door. Get a life.

    Feb 25, 2008 at 5:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Chipmunk

    I would make a “fucking delicious” joke, but I don’t want to delve into scat and it seems everybody else has worked the “incest” and “masturbation” line :)

    Feb 25, 2008 at 5:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Canthz_B bang

    Mom wrote this note during a hot flash.
    See, no periods!
    rim-shot :-D

    Feb 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Lurker

    Reminds me of the time my uncle was fixing a clog in the toilet and yelled, “Why don’t you kids s*** at school?”

    Feb 26, 2008 at 9:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   the dawd bang

    What if these kids had the adolescent version of Rocketpubes? Maybe they were using her beer shower and when they were done the rocketpubes had affixed themselves to the roof, or her toothbrush?

    This one time at band camp… there was a tooth brush incident. I couldn’t figure out why it felt like i was flossing at the same time as i was brushing my teeth. Weird.

    Anyways i should add that no children were really hurt at band camp, and the flutes…are there laws against abusing flutes? Never mind.

    Oh and by referencing the band camp joke i am in no way some kind of ephebophile.

    Feb 26, 2008 at 9:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   claw71 bang

    17 seems too old to be creeping around in mom’s bathroom. I think Charlie’s a pervert and that’s worse than rocket pubes on the toothbrush.

    Either that or Charlie’s one of those little boys who likes to put on mommy’s lingerie and sing show tunes infront of the full length mirror.

    Feb 26, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   IMB

    It seems like there is a standoff between The Note and the Cream. Who will win? They seem equally matched to me. Someone needs to take things to the next level. Maybe writing the same message on her bathroom mirror with mom’s lipstick? No? Too evil?

    Feb 26, 2008 at 8:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Martha Stewart

    What a serendipitous occurence! Rub shaving cream with a clean linen cloth onto a mirror until it dries, and it won’t steam up during a shower. Now, that’s a good thing.

    Feb 26, 2008 at 8:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   anglophile bang

      You know what would have made it even more of a good thing? If Mom had taken the time to hand-letter her sign in calligraphy, slipped it in a transparent vellum envelope, and tied it to the mirror with a length of vintage grosgrain ribbon. It’s the little details that make the best impression!

      Feb 26, 2008 at 8:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   johnO

    Better them than me! Nice mom.

    Mar 2, 2008 at 2:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   gaggyfood

    bitch mom got PWNED

    Mar 2, 2008 at 11:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Shelley

    I totally believe it, because I’ve considered putting up the very same sign in my own bathroom, to direct my two teenage daughters to their OWN bathroom. Seriously, is my bathroom that much more awesome than yours? Well, yes it is, but use your own damn bathroom anyway. You just leave a mess in mine. Ahem. What?

    Mar 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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