Stop, Hammertime!

← You can do it. We can’t help. And my beef sandwich and my yogurt →

February 26th, 2008 · 84 comments

So, after seeing this note from Daily Piglet in Columbia, South Carolina:

And this one, from Anna in Providence, Rhode Island:

And this doozy from an anonymous San Francisco office worker…

Is it any wonder that this photo from afroswede‘s flickrstream (and others) came to mind?

(Meanwhile, over at bethany’s “blog”…u can touch this.)

related: Can I lick it?

FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Providence · San Francisco · South Carolina · temperature · touching

84 responses so far ↓

#1 A

That stop sign is at my university! Elsewhere on campus there is “STOP drop and roll” and “STOP Bush”.

Feb 26, 2008 at 9:32 pm rating: 90

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- #1.1 bamBAM!!
  
  the mayor of my grandma’s town put official signs like those on every other stop sign. Some of them have typos. One said stop on the naame of love until I complained.
  
  Feb 26, 2008 at 11:08 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 park rose
  
  …because your surname is love? I’d be complaining, too. Those treadmarks are difficult to remove from clothing.
  
  Feb 26, 2008 at 11:15 pm rating: 90
- #1.3 Sarah
  
  What university is that? We’ve got a STOP BUSH here.
  
  Feb 26, 2008 at 11:34 pm rating: 90
- #1.4 thrall38
  
  Don’t forget the classic sign addendum… STOP circumcising babies.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 12:48 am rating: 90
- #1.5 Megs
  
  It’s the University of North Texas in Denton. I just graduated from there. This was much more clever than the overdone “Stop Bush” or “Stop War” and there was even a dumpster that read “Dump Bush.”
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 8:23 pm rating: 90
- #1.6 Liz
  
  here in Berkeley, California STOP “driving” is a common occurance.
  
  damn bike riding hippies.
  
  *drives a car and rides a bike* *both loves and hates the STOP driving signs*
  
  Aug 8, 2008 at 5:05 am rating: 90
- #1.7 Alan Lowrance
  
  STOP Hammertime picture was taken at UNT! w00t w00t North Texas represent!
  
  Aug 25, 2008 at 3:34 pm rating: 90
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#2 GVI

I would touch those signs just to see what happens, hell i might even break into the thermostats and fiddle with them.

Feb 26, 2008 at 9:36 pm rating: 90

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#3 Canthz_B

This is what obnoxious back seat kids grow up and do!
“Mom! She’s touching me!” *When I grow up nobody will be allowed to touch…ever!*

Feb 26, 2008 at 9:52 pm rating: 90

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#4 pry

for christmas, i bought my 2-year-old son a “you can’t touch this” t-shirt. he’s not old enough to remember the aforementioned emcee of yore, but i do. and i love the shirt.

hammertime.

Feb 26, 2008 at 9:56 pm rating: 90

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#5 boone

i think putting “cant touch this” would be even better, oh well

Feb 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm rating: 90

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#6 Canthz_B

We’ve already stopped Hammertime all ways possible!…thanks, Terry.

Feb 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm rating: 90

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#7 bamBAM!!

In a 30 floor office building-
“No touching eachother!!”

Feb 26, 2008 at 11:06 pm rating: 90

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#8 bamBAM!!

I sure hope that the thermostat never breaks…

Feb 26, 2008 at 11:10 pm rating: 90

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#9 Aijaz

Joe, don’t touch that! What are you doing?

I’m opening or closing the main drain.

You shouldn’t be touching that, Joe.

Nothing happened. You know how long I wondered what would happen if I did that?

What’s the matter with you?

Brain cloud.

What?

Oh, never mind.

Feb 26, 2008 at 11:37 pm rating: 90

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- #9.1 Megan
  
  It took me a second, but it finally clicked… great Joe vs The Volcano reference. Ah what a movie.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
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#10 Sarah

Did anyone read Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle?

There was one story – The Selfishness Cure – with a boy named Dick who wouldn’t share his stuff. So his mom put signs on all his stuff: “DICK’S APPLE – DO NOT TOUCH”, “DICK’S BOOK – DO NOT TOUCH”, and so forth.

These signs remind me of that.

Feb 26, 2008 at 11:39 pm rating: 90

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- #10.1 Megan
  
  I did read those a long time ago!! Hehehe. Every time I see someone use those label makers and put their name on something it reminds me of that story.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 5:23 pm rating: 90
- #10.2 Eli
  
  Heh, yes… those books kicked ass. Good to see a fellow Piggle-Wiggler.
  
  Jun 14, 2008 at 12:58 am rating: 90
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#11 piglet

oh i touched it, i touched the hell out of that box, while laughing my evil “world domination” laugh.

i snapped this while visiting a relative in columbia, sc.

i’m told that restaurant is now closed, i wonder could it be b/c i fondled their box?

Feb 26, 2008 at 11:56 pm rating: 90

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#12 Tyler

Why aren’t we allowed to touch the boxes with Chems, Globes, Etcetera, and Cypres in them? Especially when they have stars next to them….pretty stars….

Feb 27, 2008 at 1:21 am rating: 90

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#13 emily

that is where i go to school!! and it’s just a block away from my dorm.

literally the next stop sign up on the street is “stop voldemort”

and across from that…

“gNOme parking… any time”

Feb 27, 2008 at 2:19 am rating: 90

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- #13.1 the sos
  
  emily, where do you go to school. looks a lot like the area i live…could it be UNT?
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 9:38 am rating: 90
- #13.2 emily
  
  definitely UNT
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 6:28 pm rating: 90
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#14 claw71

Signs are always counter productive. Mucus, however, is a fantastic deterrent. Nothing keeps fingers off the t-stat like a well-placed booger.

Feb 27, 2008 at 6:44 am rating: 90

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#15 Lurker

You GO, anonymous box-toucher!!!

(I LOVED Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, btw. I think of the Slow-Eater-Tiny-Bite-Taker every time I feed the cat.)

Feb 27, 2008 at 8:20 am rating: 90

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- #15.1 bellabeastie
  
  Which was the one where the kid wouldn’t take a bath and got so dirty that while she was sleeping good old Mrs. P-W planted radish seeds in her grime and she ended up growing radishes on her?
  
  Anyone ?
  
  Team Mrs. Piggle Wiggle Was One Cool Chick
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 8:54 am rating: 90
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#16 Tom

The stop sign is by the music building at UNT, an example of some of the finest architecture in North Texas

Feb 27, 2008 at 9:39 am rating: 90

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- #16.1 the sos
  
  i KNEW i recognized those Redbuds. Thanks!
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 9:42 am rating: 90
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#17 Yomama

I keep people out of my preferred restroom stall by smearing a little poop on the seat.

So is that passive aggressive or just nasty? Would you like me to submit a photo so we can discuss?

Feb 27, 2008 at 9:48 am rating: 90

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- #17.1 Canthz_B
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 6:03 pm rating: 90
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#18 summer

a little chocolate would do as well, reducing the threat of e coli spread illness.

Feb 27, 2008 at 10:19 am rating: 90

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#19 GhostWriter

I’ve heard that the thing to do with those acrylic protector boxes is to fill them up with yellow foam sealant.

It has to get pretty cold for the heat to kick on after that. And guess what- you never touched it!

I admit that the 2nd pic might not even show an acrylic protector box, but it is important info to disseminate nonetheless.

Feb 27, 2008 at 10:23 am rating: 90

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- #19.1 tragically mep
  
  In reference to the second picture, doesn’t the acrylic protector box protect the thermostat from the usual touching/tampering? Otherwise, what’s the point?
  
  In fact, I’ve toyed with the idea of installing one on the thermostat at home. Damn kids are always touching it and PA notes don’t work on them (see note of Feb 24, 2008).
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 12:16 pm rating: 90
- #19.2 Wade
  
  There is no acrylic protector box that cannot be defeated by the common pocket comb.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 12:39 pm rating: 90
- #19.3 anglophile
  
  Coffee stirrers or popsicle sticks have also been proven useful tools in climate control.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 12:53 pm rating: 90
- #19.4 Coke-aholic
  
  This isn’t 1950! Who the hell carries around a pocket comb? But I did get your point, Wade. It wasn’t a jab at you personally.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 1:16 pm rating: 90
- #19.5 Wade
  
  That’s ok, Coke-aholic. I will retire my comb when I finally use up this tube of Brylcreem.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: 90
- #19.6 GhostWriter
  
  There is no Blue-Meanie-of-a-homeroom-teacher demanding no music during school hours, who cannot be defeated by the common pocket comb (with a piece of wax paper wrapped around it.)
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 3:21 pm rating: 90
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#20 Redhead

That Mrs. Piggle Wiggle about the dirty kid was “The Radish Cure”. LOVED THOSE BOOKS!!!

Feb 27, 2008 at 12:36 pm rating: 90

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- #20.1 Bellabeastie
  
  Thanks, Red !!
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 8:14 pm rating: 90
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#21 Writerrejected

I ask you. what good is something if you can’t touch it?

This includes, but is not limited to, yourself, boxes, thermostats, other people, other people’s stuff.

Feb 27, 2008 at 1:05 pm rating: 90

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- #21.1 GhostWriter
  
  I want believe the thermostat is there, but by not being able to touch it, I am beginning to doubt its existence.
  
  Team Descartes!
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
- #21.2 claw71
  
  Sometimes it’s sufficient to see something to know it’s there. There are somethings I don’t want to touch. Because the honesty’s too much.
  
  Team Dan Hill
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 3:03 pm rating: 90
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#22 JesFoolin

Mount your own thermostat on the wall, encased in Lexan, with the control pegged one way. Hot in summer, cold in winter.

Feb 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm rating: 90

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- #22.1 bamBAM!!
  
  How would you change it?
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 11:54 pm rating: 90
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#23 GhostWriter

The key to unlocking the Thermostat is hidden in the Anglican symbols:
E V E R ! ! ! !

…is it a signature?

…is it a spell??

…is it a GameShark code???

“Yes to all…,” croaked the dying monk.

Feb 27, 2008 at 2:12 pm rating: 90

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#24 Leah

There’s a sign like this near my house in Chicago too.

Feb 27, 2008 at 2:31 pm rating: 90

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#25 claw71

I once worked in an office where there was an ongoing thermostat battle. We had one anorexic girl in our office who would get in early and crank the heat up to 85 and a fat waddling sow of a woman who regularly turned the AC on in the middle of winter. They were two of the most selfish people I had ever met.

Instead of growing a set of balls, Mr. Carson tried to implement a vote. After a little discussion on the subject I proposed that the vote be implemented but that the winning side would be determined by total weight rather than number of participants.

Fatty, who looked like Rachel Ray after Rachel Ray ate Mario Batali with a side of Fran Drescher, got really upset and filed a complaint with HR.

But I had the last laugh. She doesn’t know what it was over but let’s just say that her peanut butter was extra , extra chunky.

Feb 27, 2008 at 2:57 pm rating: 90

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- #25.1 GhostWriter
  
  Wait, What??
  
  Fatty had a functional two-vote lead going into the contest, and yet she complained? That doesn’t sound very selfish of her.
  
  But never mind that. Instead, let us actually just say, “Her peanut butter was extra, extra chunky.”
  
  What, in the name of all that is holy, would we mean by that??
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 3:13 pm rating: 90
- #25.2 claw71
  
  I categorically deny putting anything in her peanut butter.
  
  And as for the HR complaint, she was able to parlay that into some sort of psychological impairment that made it necessary for her to waddle into work an hour after everybody else had to start.
  
  Which means her peanut butter was left unattended so anybody could have molested her Skippy.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 3:27 pm rating: 90
- #25.3 Coke-aholic
  
  Did she let you know she noticed the molestation of her Skippy by screeching, “Damn Skippy Baby!” like Paula Cole in that Feelin’ Love song?
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 7:48 pm rating: 90
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#26 claw71

Let’s see what the Statler Brothers have to say:

Lexan boxes on the wall
No more touching it ya’all
And the boxes over there
Hands off, you best beware
It’s my thermostat and I can tell you what to do
Now listen to me, I’ll fire you.

Feb 27, 2008 at 3:22 pm rating: 90

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- #26.1 GhostWriter
  
  Repetition Alert Alert!
  
  This very same Statler Brothers tune was parodied by claw71 back on September 21st.
  
  Son, we expect more from you. You are very close to being awarded a Unitard.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 4:10 pm rating: 90
- #26.2 claw71
  
  Crap. I forgot there are seasoned veterans afoot. Flattered you remembered, though. My imagination is limited. I was trying to put together a parody of Cher’s Turn Back Time but a parody of Cher is only good if you can bring some physical comedy with it.
  
  Besides the lyrics were clunky:
  
  If I could turn it down
  maybe I’d feel OK
  I’d file those forms you gave me
  on Tuesdaaaaay.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 4:27 pm rating: 90
- #26.3 GhostWriter
  
  …not that I have every note you’ve posted taped to my bedroom ceiling. Just the good ones.
  
  I’ve been pondering the song parodies. Some notes just don’t incubate them. I blame the note- it has to be fairly lengthy or have an interesting backstory, and it should contain new material (e.g., there are only so many songs you can write about dirty dishes, eating someone’s lunch, or letting the dogs out.)
  
  It also helps if the note includes quirky phrases like, “everybody wants to rule the world”, “no sugar tonight in my coffee”, or “girls just wanna have fun”.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 5:03 pm rating: 90
- #26.4 Yomama
  
  Good ones?
  
  From Claw? Doubtful.
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 5:27 pm rating: 90
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#27 bamBAM!!

Someone is just a little too nit-picky about fingerprints on the thermostat. It’s understandable.

Feb 27, 2008 at 4:17 pm rating: 90

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#28 Bryan

Ha! I had a job where the Boss would keep the temperature so low even Scrooge would say, “Dude! It’s cold!” I literally had a pair of Dickensian fingerless gloves while I typed. It was, like 52 degrees (F).
“Somebody” (not me) came up with the bright idea of, while the Boss was out, of putting an ice cube tray on top of the thermostat. It worked great until that person was caught and summarily fired.
Man, that job sucked.

Feb 27, 2008 at 4:35 pm rating: 90

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#29 amy d

Notes #2 and #3 are vague as to what is not to be touched. Therefore, I propose these notes refer only to the signs themselves and all else is fair game.

Feb 27, 2008 at 5:15 pm rating: 90

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#30 fellasheowed

i wanna see a companion 2 legit 2 yield

Feb 27, 2008 at 5:15 pm rating: 90

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#31 Canthz_B

Touch Me in the Morning

Don’t touch the thermostat,
Then just walk away,
We don’t have the money,
High heating costs to pay.

Wasn’t it me who said,
It will be cool here in winter weather?
Wasn’t it me who said,
You’re gonna burn up in summer weather?

It was really hard to tell you,
That in extremes you’d have to live.
I can understand your feelings,
I’ll change the temp if some cash you’ll give.

Well if you want to quit,
You will have to leave tonight.
I can guard the thermostat,
All alone alright.

And, leave my boxes alone,
They’re not for you.
Leave my boxes alone,
Please catch my clue.

Don’t touch the thermostat,
Then just walk away,
We don’t have the money,
High heating costs to pay.

Feb 27, 2008 at 5:47 pm rating: 90

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#32 bamBAM!!

I guess nobody appreciates my hilarious humor today. I’ve given you people 24 hours! No ratings! Fine, I’ll stop posting if I’m that annoying.

Feb 27, 2008 at 9:47 pm rating: 90

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- #32.1 Crash
  
  ROFLMAO !!! 8)
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 11:35 pm rating: 90
- #32.2 Ozymandias
  
  Hey Bb, look around… to the tune of Dylan, or Cash, whichever you prefer:
  
  It ain’t (just) you, babe, no, no, no, it ain’t (just) you babe, it ain’t just you on the zero rating floor
  
  Feb 27, 2008 at 11:51 pm rating: 90
- #32.3 bamBAM!!
  
  You crazy dislecix fraek!! It’s bB!!
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 12:09 am rating: 90
- #32.4 bamBAM!!
  
  thanks for that, ozy, it really helped. crash, what’s so funny? do you find my pain amusing? hmmmmm?
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 12:11 am rating: 90
- #32.5 Crash
  
  I could wait 24 hours to reply….sorry…Just being a smart ass…It wasn’t funny…Your pain I mean…anyway.
  I go plenty of times with unrated comments and think to myself that “Maybe they just don’t know what the rating thing is”…it’s comforting…delusional, but comforting…anyway… 8)
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 12:49 am rating: 90
- #32.6 ScrewBall
  
  OMG ! You mean there is a way to rate these words of Wit, Wisdom and Whatever???
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 4:00 am rating: 90
- #32.7 Ozymandias
  
  Sorry, Bb, let’s try again:
  
  It ain’t you baBe, no, no, no, it ain’t you baBe, it ain’t just you they’re not voting for, baBe
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 4:59 am rating: 90
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#33 raiseyourglass

can’t touch this tribute
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjlJUzBgz40

Feb 27, 2008 at 11:22 pm rating: 90

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#34 raiseyourglass

edited from rocky horror picture show…

Janet)
I was feeling done in
Couldn’t win.
I’d never adjusted the thermostat before.

(Columbia)
You mean she…
(Magenta)
Uh-huh.

(Janet)
The boss felt there’s no use not getting
Into heavy heating
It only leads to trouble and more
adjusting
Now all I want to know
Why it feels 8 below
I’ve felt heat and I want more

(Magenta & Columbia)
More! More! More!

(Janet)
the boss put up resistance
I want to stay the distance
I’ve got on my mittens
I need assistance
the signs says no more!

(chorus)
Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch please
I dont wanna be chilly
Thrill me, me, heat me
Creature of the night.

Then if anything hasn’t froze (chuckle)
While you pose
the boss will adjust back down

(Magenta & Columbia)
Down! Down! Down!

(Janet)
And that’s just one small fraction of the main attraction
we need a heat repairman
Oh, we need action

(chorus)

(Columbia)
Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch please
(Magenta)
I don’t wanna be chilly
(Columbia)
Thrill me, don’t chill me, fulfill me
(Magenta)
Creature of the night

(chorus)

(Rocky) Creature of the night
(Brad) Creature of the night
(Frank) Creature of the night
(Magenta) Creature of the night
(Rif raf) Creature of the night
(Columbia) Creature of the night
(Rocky) Creature of the night
(Janet) Creature of the night huh!

Feb 28, 2008 at 12:06 am rating: 90

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- #34.1 raiseyourglass
  
  Sorry, one of the customers had that on their phone ringtone yesterday. It’s been stuck in my head ever since.
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 12:18 am rating: 90
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#35 claw71

The fact that somebody went so far as to create a stencil to expedite this process tells me that the message is not promoting Hammertime but rather rallying support to preven the retro craze from reinvigorating this unfortunate period of pop culture history.

But it’s too late…

Everytime you see me
the Hammer’s disco hype
I’m dope on the floor
and magic on the mic
Now why would I ever, stop doing this
Don’t spray paint any stop signs, or I’m gonna get pissed

Go hammer go hammer GO!

Feb 28, 2008 at 8:44 am rating: 90

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#36 Selah

My campus did the hammertime better:

http://git.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30100338&id=1120230365

Feb 28, 2008 at 2:50 pm rating: 90

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- #36.1 Mishee
  
  how messed up is that selah – like we all have a facebook login!!
  
  copy it to flickr and share again!! lol
  
  Feb 28, 2008 at 3:06 pm rating: 90
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#37 Heidi

Feb 28, 2008 at 4:05 pm rating: 90

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#38 Lurker

Do not touch the thermostat;
Do not touch it, I-Am-Pat.
Do not touch it if it’s hot.
Do not touch it if it’s not.
Do not touch it if you freeze,
Do not touxh it if you sneeze.
Do not touch it if you melt.
Do not touch it with your belt.
Do not touch it late at night.
Do not touch it with a kite.
Just do not touch the thermostat;
Do not touch it, I-Am-Pat.

E V A R.

Feb 28, 2008 at 4:07 pm rating: 90

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#39 Tom

I wonder if the Piggly Wiggly is still nearby.

Feb 28, 2008 at 5:31 pm rating: 90

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#40 Cindy

wow, wasn’t aware there were so many readers from UNT. but yes that picture is definitely on our campus. i live in the building across the street from that building. bruce hall. also the past home of norah jones, i’ll have you know.

stop voldermort is my personal fave though.
gNOme parking anytime is a close second.

Mar 9, 2008 at 3:38 pm rating: 90

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#41 Tom

I lived in Bruce

Mar 10, 2008 at 1:07 am rating: 90

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#42 mrs. pommelhorst

and no one thought “…collaborate and listen”?

This saddens me.

Aug 4, 2008 at 12:50 am rating: 90

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#43 Liz

I lived in Savannah for 5 years. There are PANs all over that frickin town.

Aug 8, 2008 at 5:16 am rating: 90

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