the “thanks for forgetting my birthday, asshole” thank-you note: because the only thing that would have made this e-mail from rebecca’s (32-year-old) brother any better is a midi file soundtrack and a dancing elephant or two.
adds rebecca: “my resulting apology just yielded more hate-filled e-mails from him — nevermind that i was camping and he lives in another country which i can’t call from my cell phone! i should have taken the advice of another contributor to this site who said there is no correct way to respond to a passive-aggressive note.”
related: two birds with one snowman
91 responses so far ↓
#1
RALPHY
Hey Dude–so it was your birthday. Did the earth stop turning or was universal peace declared. Get over it! You’re another year older and even your sister doesn’t give a crap. Up-side–your cake was fucking delicious!
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:19 pm rating: +4
#2
anglophile
What, did he turn five?
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:20 pm rating: +8
#3
park rose
Au contraire , Rebecca. Anybody knows the correct way to respond to a P/A note is to submit it to a P/A notes website.
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:23 pm rating: +12
#4
muddgirl
Dude, my birthday was a few days ago, and none of my family called me, or even sent me an email. OMG I MUST CREATE P/A DRAMA ASAP!!
Oh wait, I’m capable of acting like an adult, and recognizing that the world doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve around moi.
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:28 pm rating: 0
#5
Bitch Cakes
Seriously, muddgirl. My own mother doesn’t even call me on my birthday! Rebecca’s brother needs to get over it!
PS Happy Birthday Muddgirl.
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm rating: 0
#6
bellabeastie
Ok — so you live in Bum Fuck Egypt and I can’t get you by cell.. snail mail will arrive next week, by then it will be Really Late. Oh, and the cookies I wanted to send will have been eaten by me…. cuz I’m camping. And hungry. Oh, regarding your emails… delete is a beautiful thing…
BTW - Happy B-day (do you remember when mine is?).. check-mate.
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:34 pm rating: +1
#7
sswoon
the correct response would have been:
you’re welcome.
who are you?
Mar 3, 2008 at 9:39 pm rating: +13
#8
Writerrejected
Um, but I do think it’s pretty crappy that Sister Mary Forgetful couldn’t get a text message out to Brother Passive/Aggressive’s for his birthday. I notice she doesn’t say whether she actually remembered the day or not. She seems pretty lame with the execuses there.
Mar 3, 2008 at 10:14 pm rating: 0
#9
KittyKat
Give bubby a few more years and he won’t be reminding ANYONE it’s his b-day.
Mar 3, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: +1
#10
Crash
Is it possible that since he isn’t in the same country that he’s a day ahead of her ???
Maybe… ?
Anyway…Just speculating
Mar 3, 2008 at 10:50 pm rating: +1
#11
claw71
Birthdays are the dumbest celebrations ever.
What did you do? Put your mother through 9 months of agony followed by several hours of excruciating pain and utter humiliation while an attractive doctor watched her swollen vagina expand exponentially to make room for your bald, bulbous head?
I don’t have any candles but I think I’ve got something you can blow.
TEAM GET OVER YOURSELF
Mar 3, 2008 at 11:31 pm rating: +10
#12
Cat Skyfire
It would be funny if she had sent him something (card with money or gift card, or even an actual gift) that just hadn’t reached him because of the joys of international mailing.
Mar 4, 2008 at 12:02 am rating: +4
#13
Troy McClure
AΦ, how about cake and fruit, once a month, after we sing?
Oops! Let’s call this post 11.1.1.
Mar 4, 2008 at 12:04 am rating: +2
#14
Tyler
Team You’re Welcome
Mar 4, 2008 at 12:40 am rating: 0
#15
nicole
This ecard is a good little response to that.
http://www.someecards.com/upload/birthday_n/what_i_ll_remember_most_about_my_birthday_is_that_you_forgot_it.html
Mar 4, 2008 at 12:40 am rating: +1
#16
Sarah
I half-heartedly attempted to wish you a happy birthday, but soon lost interest in the project.
Mar 4, 2008 at 1:27 am rating: +7
#17
Aijaz
I replied to this last week.
thank you
Mar 4, 2008 at 7:54 am rating: 0
#18
GingerE
It would be funnier if they were twins.
Mar 4, 2008 at 8:01 am rating: +2
#19
aaa
How many Rebecca’s brothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
Mar 4, 2008 at 8:12 am rating: +7
#20
Jaybird
Subject: Yesterday WAS your birthday
Your welcome!
Mar 4, 2008 at 8:52 am rating: +2
#21
kelmeister
It could be worse…every year on my birthday, my mother sends me an email that only says
24 1/2 hours
reminding me of how many hours she spent in labor with me.
Mar 4, 2008 at 9:26 am rating: +7
#22
bellabeastie
Dear Bro: I’d like to say I’m sorry for missing your birthday, but I’m not. Because love means never having to say you’re sorry.
So quit with the bitchy emails already.
P.S. Anyway, I’ve hated you since sophmore year when you ratted me out to Mom that I got drunk and puked behind the neighbor’s garage while they were out of town.
Your Sis, Rebecca
Mar 4, 2008 at 9:46 am rating: +1
#23
Mishee
At least this guy was born the day after Valentine’s Day - a fake holiday.
Try being born the Day after Christmas (like myself) and see how many people remember your birthday then you selfish bastard!!
Mar 4, 2008 at 10:39 am rating: 0
#24
Katzndogz
All he needs is for Jake Ryan to show up with a birthday cake and some panties, and he’ll be right as rain.
Mar 4, 2008 at 10:58 am rating: +2
#25
Dave
I didn’t forget. I sent you the world’s smallest violin. Glad to see you’ve mastered it already.
Love,
Rebecca
Mar 4, 2008 at 12:09 pm rating: +11
#26
Juliet
That is awesome! If e-mail had existed in 1990, I would have received one exactly like this from my dad…
One year my dad threw a fit because I didn’t call on his birthday. The problem was that my parents had a new phone number and hadn’t updated me. My mom gave me hell because she had to put up with my dad. It was funny after I got off the phone. I’m so glad we don’t live in the same city.
Mar 4, 2008 at 12:39 pm rating: +2
#27
the dawd
This one time before i was married…I took my wife out for her birthday. We went to the zoo, and i got her a present. After the zoo we went out for diner, and when i tried to pay…declined. So my future wife had to pay for her own birthday dinner. Over a decade later she continues to remind me about this by telling every new person we become friends with that the first birthday she spent with me cost her $90.
A month later was my birthday, and at that age we were both broke a lot. I bought her a card and a stuffed toy to show appreciation for making my birthday worth having. She couldn’t even afford to buy me a card
Although i do know better than to tell this story in the really real world.
Mar 4, 2008 at 1:01 pm rating: +5
#28
Quite Contrary
It’s not the note that I find so pathetic. It is the fact that he, a 32 year old, sent it to his sister. Because, really, this is a note that I am sure has gone to a many ex- or soon-to-be-ex significant others (or roommates who left pizza cardboard in the oven).
Mar 4, 2008 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
#29
Heidi
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Maybe you should have planned accordingly for his birthday before you went camping. (But i like the comment ealier about just using the spam feature to the P/A email! )
Mar 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm rating: +1