when you can’t blame the dog

March 6th, 2008 · 122 comments

spotted by maureen in cincinnati, ohio…

(actually, just kidding — it’s from a conference center in dayton. but how awesome would that be?)

related: blame it on coke

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Tags: bathroom · dayton · ohio · passing the buck · smell

122 responses so far ↓

#1 anglophile

So, is the action they are taking against the City of Dayton that they’re going door-to-door and handing out bottles of Beano, or what?

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:02 pm

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- #1.1 secondsout
  
  Taking action against the City of Dayton could be a humongous spray can. Or lighting an enormous match.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 2:29 pm
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#2 bigtime loser

If the Grand Canyon can blame the smog it sees on Los Angeles, than why not?

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:04 pm

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- #2.1 Quite Contrary
  
  I’ve heard someone blame the pollution in Los Angeles on China! Will China blame Dayton too?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 2:20 pm
- #2.2 someguy
  
  Google up ‘yellow sand’ - actually China does have an impact on air quality in LA sometimes!
  
  Mar 10, 2008 at 5:51 pm
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#3 Mishee

I just wonder if this odor caused by The City of Dayton is also permeated into the Men’s Room…

What kind of action are they going to take? Sue the City? Then I suppose it’s time for Bay Area residents to sue the City of Milpitas, cause it stinks too!

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:13 pm

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#4 amazon

What is Dayton feeding those women? Maybe something in the water?

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:18 pm

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#5 DutchOven

I tried telling my wife that the odor from under the covers was actually the City of Dayton’s fault too.

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:20 pm

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#6 claw71

Dayton’s smelled like that for decades, do you really think they’ll change just because a couple of office marms made a phone call?

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:20 pm

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#7 Sarah

March 7, 2008
Dayton

The entire town of Dayton was found dead in what appears to be a biological attack. Analysis of the atmophere revealed that the air contained 100,000 parts per million of Febreze.

No suspects have been identified, but an anonymous source reports overhearing an unidentified individual in the vicinity muttering that “that damn ladies’ room might actually smell OK now.”

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:24 pm

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#8 secondsout

The entire city of Dayton went to the women’s room at the conference center to take a dump, apparently. Probably one of those beer + hard boiled eggs + beans + broccoli + cabbage dumps.

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:28 pm

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- #8.1 Mishee
  
  It doesn’t just have to be a dump - we can blame asparagus too…
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 2:37 pm
- #8.2 Coke-aholic
  
  I don’t know whether to laugh or be totally disgusted.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 12:53 am
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#9 John from Cincinnati

It would be nice if you spelled “Cincinnati” correctly.

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:39 pm

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- #9.1 claw71
  
  OK let me try: S-H-I-T H-O-L-E.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 2:43 pm
- #9.2 Sarah
  
  That place is a fucking shithouse?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 2:46 pm
- #9.3 claw71
  
  I’m kidding, Cincy’s a great town. And the people are fantastic… if you like gap-toothed rednecks and rancid white trash.
  
  I can’t figure out how you can drive just 100 miles south of Columbus and end up in the deep south but they pull it off.
  
  At least they invented the toothbrush there. You know how I know that? If it had been invented anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 2:48 pm
- #9.4 Mishee
  
  that fact that the PANGoddess misspelled it just goes to show you how much Cincy really doesn’t matter to the rest of the free world.
  
  Kerry, YOU ROCK
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:03 pm
- #9.5 grumpygranolagirl
  
  I live exactly 100 miles south of Columbus (Portsmouth). Claw71 is right. It’s a whole different world down here. SW Ohio is cosmopolitan compared to SE Ohio. We’re the yokels that gave you the Bush era and Jean Schmidt. (Sorry ’bout that.)
  
  As for armpit of the world, my vote goes to Decatur, Illinois. (Home of ADM where they make corn syrup and process soybeans — yummy!)
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 7:37 am
- #9.6 claw71
  
  Living in Portsmouth is bad, but at least it’s not Ironton.
  
  By the way, I love the flood wall downtown. If only it didn’t smell like sewage when you walk around.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 9:15 am
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#10 claw71

Oh yeah, and Pete Rose is an asshole.

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:49 pm

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#11 claw71

Actually the note is accurate. They don’t have plumbing in Dayton so people drive down to Cincy by the busload and poop in suburban offices. The problem is that Daytonians don’t know how to flush.

Mar 6, 2008 at 2:52 pm

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#12 Writerrejected

I’ve been blaming my gas problems on the nearest municipality for years. Thankfully, I don’t live near Dayton…according to PAN commenters, it’s charmless.

Mar 6, 2008 at 3:04 pm

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- #12.1 Mishee
  
  WR, from my understanding it’s no San Francisco…
  
  But that’s where the sourdough is…
  
  Everyone got their hands and feet in the handbasket before we take off??
  
  Did you go pee first glo???
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:15 pm
- #12.2 secondsout
  
  Yesterday was an exercise in offensive religious humor. Which I enjoy greatly. Insulting the cities of Cincinnati and Dayton hardly counts as blasphemy.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:19 pm
- #12.3 claw71
  
  Dayton is a dinky little town. Its claim to fame is the Wright Brothers who set about inventing an airplane so they could get as far away from Dayton as possible.
  
  When the sun shines in Dayton, which is rare, there’s an odd yellow tint to the air. Not a charming sepia tone as in O’ Brother Where Art Thou but more of sickly hue. Think of jaundice and you’re there.
  
  In addition to the color, a slight but utterly unpleasant smell lingers on the air. It’s like a combinatin of eggs and cat feces. This scent is ofen on the breath of born and bred Daytonians even years after they move away.
  
  The city is stuck somewhere between 1978 and 1983. People of both genders were mullets, listen to REO Speedwagon and smoke Newports.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:25 pm
- #12.4 claw71
  
  And I blame the Jews. If they hadn’t killed Jesus he might have been able to do something about SW Ohio.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:28 pm
- #12.5 secondsout
  
  What would Jesus have done about SW Ohio? Unless you follow the Mormon bit, where they claim that Jesus visited the US. And that the native americans are descendants of some Israeli tribe. In that case, we’re all destined to end up on small asteroids on the outer realms of the universe or some such.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm
- #12.6 Mishee
  
  claw, you can find just about anything to blame on the Jews, can’t you?
  
  That’s just one of your many talents.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:40 pm
- #12.7 claw71
  
  Not just Jews, any minority. I mean, normally you smell something bad and you think Mexicans but there just aren’t that many in Dayton.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:59 pm
- #12.8 Canthz_B
  
  I’m not so sure that’s altogether fleshed out properly, claw.
  Are the mullet-heads in #12.3 minorities?
  I’m confused…
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:13 pm
- #12.9 claw71
  
  No. Sadly mullet is a state of mind. Most white people wear the mullets on the inside.
  
  Not me, I have my pubes fashioned in a mullet. Business in the front, party in her rear.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:25 pm
- #12.10 Canthz_B
  
  LOL
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:42 pm
- #12.11 secondsout
  
  The mullet… Nothing quite like the Missouri Compromise.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 5:05 pm
- #12.12 Writerrejected
  
  But I personally love a good cigarette-smoking, mullet-wearing, REO-Speedwagon-humming man/woman from Ohio. It makes the fart smell all worthwhile.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 11:39 pm
- #12.13 Coke-aholic
  
  Hey I live in Missouri and there is a guy with a mullet who drives a dune buggy to the local BP for smokes. I laugh every time I see him. He usually has no shirt on and his jeans hang off his ass, showing his crack.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 12:58 am
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#13 Heidi

What a weak excuse!!! Whoever smelt it dealt it!!!

Mar 6, 2008 at 3:39 pm

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- #13.1 secondsout
  
  The denier is the supplier.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:40 pm
- #13.2 Canthz_B
  
  First who knew it blew it.
  
  First one that said it spread it.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 3:58 pm
- #13.3 Heidi
  
  The denier is the supplier! hahahahaahah never heard that one!
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:05 pm
- #13.4 Mishee
  
  Holy crap I am having flashbacks now to grade school…
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:28 pm
- #13.5 claw71
  
  Whoever detected it perfected it.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:37 pm
- #13.6 Sarah
  
  Whomever decried it magnified it.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 5:59 pm
- #13.7 ER
  
  Whoever made the rhyme did the crime.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 8:00 pm
- #13.8 Grumpy
  
  The smeller’s the feller!
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 7:40 pm
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#14 Canthz_B

Let me get this sraight.
The very existence of The City of Dayton causes foul odors in Ladies Rooms?

Does the Ladies Room have the only drains linked to the city sewer system? Why no foul odors in the Men’s Room? The kitchen? The water fountains?

Why so many questions?

Mar 6, 2008 at 3:53 pm

reply to this comment
- #14.1 bamBAM!!
  
  Well, in a way, it does sort of provide food, which provides… you know?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:18 pm
- #14.2 Canthz_B
  
  No. I don’t.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:24 pm
- #14.3 bamBAM!!
  
  You just don’t want to.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 6:24 pm
- #14.4 Canthz_B
  
  You just make no sense there…nothing personal, but my comment concerns plumbing connections to sewer lines.
  You say “it does sort of provide food…”.
  What “sort of provides food”? What “it”?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 8:22 pm
- #14.5 bamBAM!!
  
  the city, sort of provides food to the women, who sort of use the bathroom… dig??
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 10:24 pm
- #14.6 Canthz_B
  
  Nope. It makes no sense in relation to the comment that you linked it to. Are all of the women in Dayton who use this conference center on food stamps or something? Why does the city provide food? What about women from out of town? The question posed is…”Why just the Ladies Room”? Where did you get the rest of that from? Are you high or something?…dig?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 11:02 pm
- #14.7 bamBAM!!
  
  okay, so the city of dayton has grocery stores, correct? women go to grocery stores, and purchase food, you still with me? okay, then they eat the food. Now, here’s the hard part, there is thing called digestion. it makes food go through the body, and, eventually, come out. the already digested food coming out is what causes the odor. …dig??
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 5:47 pm
- #14.8 Canthz_B
  
  Give it up…you’re beginning to look pathetic.
  You still have missed the point that the question I posed is not whether or not shit stinks. The question is if the City of Dayton is the cause of the smell in the ladies room, it would presumably be an odor of sewage coming through the drains…why then only the drains in the ladies room? You still with me? The men in Dayton eat also, their shit stinks too, why does the men’s room not reek? OK, here’s the hard part…There are these things called cars. What percentage of Dayton residents actually do their grocery shopping within the city limits (not that it has a flying fuck to do with a damned thing, but you are the one making shit up as you go along)?
  
  Say no to drugs bB!
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 6:30 pm
- #14.9 babBam!
  
  I’ve actually never been to Dayton, so I wouldn’t know that much about it. Perchance the pipes in the ladies’ room are broken, and an odor is coming through the crack? You might also consider the possibility that the men wouldn’t complain about the odor. Or read signs. I don’t know.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 10:17 pm
- #14.10 babBam!
  
  Why the hell is my name spelled wrong?
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 10:19 pm
- #14.11 Canthz_B
  
  Told you about those drugs, didn’t I, babs?
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 11:00 pm
- #14.12 Mishee
  
  To quote Mr. Mackey from South Park: “Drugs are bad”
  
  Mar 8, 2008 at 8:54 am
- #14.13 bamBAM!!
  
  Damn! Is that why that guy kept telling me to sniff the powdered sugar he sold me? That shit’s expensive, and doesn’t really bake very well.
  
  Mar 8, 2008 at 9:05 am
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#15 etc… (Experimental Troupe Comedy) » Blog Archive » The Odor Caused by the City of Dayton

[…] From Passive Aggressive Notes […]

Mar 6, 2008 at 3:54 pm

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#16 Pants

This is 100% awesome.

Mar 6, 2008 at 3:56 pm

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#17 claw71

Speaking of REO Speedwagon:

What’s that awfull smell? Ew.
What’s that awfull smell? Ew.
The ladies room has a smell that’s from way out of town.

You say you called the city in
but they won’t work on the weekend
It’s such an awfull smell got the restroom shut down.

But I know the neighborhood
You ate Skyline Chili and you said it was good
So you blame Dayton and it’s way out of line
So I’m blaming you babe
I think you made a poo babe
So light a match and throw out that sign

Could you stop blaming Dayton, baby
We know you took a crap, baby
And I don’t want you around
I don’t believe it
I know that you did it
You know you’re the one so you’re blaming Day-TON.

Mar 6, 2008 at 4:10 pm

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- #17.1 Mishee
  
  or you could’ve just kept the original lyrics and put up the song “That Smell” by Lynrd Skynrd…
  
  I’m just sayin’…
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:29 pm
- #17.2 claw71
  
  Nope. Too easy. I made an REO reference and had to run with it.
  
  That’s how I roll.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 4:34 pm
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#18 bamBAM!!

At least it’s not as nauseating as a bathroom drenched in Febreeze!!??

Mar 6, 2008 at 4:14 pm

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#19 bamBAM!!

I like to think of it as a “fragrance.”

Mar 6, 2008 at 4:16 pm

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#20 bamBAM!!

Next they’ll be saying that those damn “Pudding Flushers” of Phillidelphia are clogging the toilets.

Mar 6, 2008 at 4:18 pm

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#21 summer

I carry a sign like this for those uncomfortable times at the office when there’s no hiding the reality, it helps me explain away the odor, but I always get stuck trying to explain the whole Dayton thing, being I don’t live there.

Mar 6, 2008 at 6:05 pm

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#22 KittyKat

I believe the City of Dayton is also responsible for:

The war in Iraq
Global Warming
Hurricane Katrina (but not Rita, I blame that one on Topeka)
The extinction of the passenger pigeon
The death of Heath Ledger
and . . . Fruitcake.

Mar 6, 2008 at 6:30 pm

reply to this comment
- #22.1 Mishee
  
  Wow, that’s great to know Kitty! Now I can tell Mr. Mishee that it’s not my fault!
  
  He also blamed those bombings a little while back in London on me… is that still my fault or can we heap it on Dayton (or even Topeka) then?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 6:39 pm
- #22.2 secondsout
  
  Maybe we can heap the bombings on Dayton??
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 6:41 pm
- #22.3 Mishee
  
  how about just bombing Dayton and putting the poor town out of it’s misery?
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 6:50 pm
- #22.4 RALPHY
  
  Around here–it’s a well established fact that Cincinnati is the ass-hole of the world and Dayton is the armpit, so I’m not surprised by the stinch, but I’m not sure we can hand-off the fruitcake thing on em. The rest-yes-just not sure about the fruitcake.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 7:29 pm
- #22.5 KittyKat
  
  Well, could be the Jews are responsible for fruitcake. Or maybe the Mexicans. If - and this is a big IF - the City of Dayton isn’t fully responsible, it was at least involved in the conspiracy.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 8:21 pm
- #22.6 RALPHY
  
  Point well taken and conceded. Perhaps the city of Dayton is itself responsible for Jews and Mexicans. Wouldn’t that be a bitch.
  
  Mar 6, 2008 at 9:57 pm
- #22.7 aaa
  
  Nah, some of us stuck in Cincinnati take comfort in the fact that at least we’re not in Detroit.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 8:02 am
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#23 PUeducation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wONAd2WvuRY

Mar 6, 2008 at 10:01 pm

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#24 PUeducation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGmYcPMZpIs

Mar 6, 2008 at 10:15 pm

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#25 Lurker

Baby, if you’ve ever wondered,
Wondered whatever became of me,
I’m breathin’ all my air in Cincinnati,
‘Cause bathrooms up in Dayton smell like pee.
Got kind of tired of sprayin’ Glade and Lysol,
Can to can, on the odor vile.
Nothing’s got a smell like Dayton’s bathroom hell,
Just maybe think of me once in a while.
I’m in J.R.’s W.C. in Cincinnati…

Mar 7, 2008 at 8:15 am

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#26 claw71

Here I sit, deficatin’
Now the house smells like Dayton

Mar 7, 2008 at 9:08 am

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#27 ALA

Hi all - is anyone else having login problems? I logged in & it showed me my profile, but (as you can see) PAN doesn’t show me as logged in. Any suggestions? (Cleared my cache, started over, changed my PWD…can’t think of anything else.) Kerry????????

Mar 7, 2008 at 10:29 am

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#28 ALA

Ok, never mind. As soon as I posted something, it showed me as logged in. CRAZY. (Either me or the site…probably both.)

Mar 7, 2008 at 10:30 am

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#29 Swamp Rat

Just how long can you hold your breath?

Mar 7, 2008 at 10:44 am

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#30 Joseph R.

As long as I want. I am a “Jewish Mexican.”

Mar 7, 2008 at 10:56 am

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- #30.1 bamBAM!!
  
  Pardon?
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 5:48 pm
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#31 Canthz_B

I will take the word of the Ohio residents here that Dayton sucks.
With that as a given, who the hell holds meetings at this conference center? The National Society of Navel Lint and Booger Pickers?

Mar 7, 2008 at 11:19 am

reply to this comment
- #31.1 Lurker
  
  My biggest problem with Ohio is that it would be so easy to put a silent “h” before the final “o” and have a palindrome for a state name, but they just don;t bother doing it.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 12:08 pm
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#32 erin

the sign is hysterical and as soemone living inthe heart of dayton, there are some interestin smells that come from various places in the area, but this is my hometown and i love her. i see amazing things almost everyday from members of this community. Ive lived in other areas of the region, and dayton isnt as horrible as people make it.

dayton holds the patents to more inventions then any other city in the world. that can of coke you love. the pop top invented in dayton. that car you love to drive, you can start it without the little crank on the outside, because of an inventor in dayton. being able to pay in any store you go to, thank dayton for thier cash registers and credit card readers. i live in dayton and i dont think that it sucks by any means. its not the booming place it once was bnut there is such a deep history here and an amazing arts community. there are far worse places to live, those of you who hate living here, get out an actually explore what your area has to offer and give back, make the community yours instead of complaining on how horrible it is to live here, if you still hate it, get the fuck out because you are probably the ones stinking up the bathroom.

Mar 7, 2008 at 12:10 pm

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- #32.1 claw71
  
  Did somebody from Dayton invent the stick you have up your ass ?
  
  http://www.nobodycares.com
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 12:36 pm
- #32.2 sitboaf
  
  Maybe someday, the fabulous city of Dayton will teach its citizens how to spell and use capital letters when composing their run-on sentences.
  Or maybe the SHIFT key on your TRS-80 broke in 1989.
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 1:22 pm
- #32.3 Mishee
  
  umm, claw, I heard they upgraded to Commodore 64s!! didn’t you get the memo printed on the dot matrix printer (with the little strips on each side of the paper you have to tear off) using Print Shop?
  
  I heard through the grapevine they might have enough room in the budget next year to get COLOR monitors, and do away with the green monochrome CRTs they currently use…
  
  Mar 7, 2008 at 4:23 pm

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when you can’t blame the dog

March 6th, 2008 · 122 comments

122 responses so far ↓